Beyond Diet & Exercise · 2017-05-09 · After hearing my clients complain over and over that they couldn’t lose weight despite strict dieting and vigorous exercise, ... o Diet

Beyond Diet & Exercise

9 Real Reasons That Stubborn Weight Hasn’t Come Off Yet

AND THE TOOLS YOU NEED TO LOSE IT FOR GOOD

Artwork by Mayumi Oda

Marcella Friel MINDFUL EATING

TRANSFORMATIONAL COACHING tappingwithmarcella.com

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If you’re reading this booklet, chances are you’ve been trying to lose weight for a while. You’ve probably taken up several diets and exercise regimens and either had no luck at all or else seen some progress, only to have it slip away. After hearing my clients complain over and over that they couldn’t lose weight despite strict dieting and vigorous exercise, I became curious about the deeper issues that cause our bodies to hold on to unwanted weight. My research led me to one conclusion:

Weight gain is not a problem in itself. It’s a symptom of something much deeper.

Those deeper causes can be physiological, behavioral, emotional, or spiritual. The good news is that all of them can be healed. Despite your past efforts, you are not condemned to live the rest of your life chained to those extra pounds. That’s what the nine points that follow address. I hope the information here gets you thinking outside of the diet-and-exercise box and gives you insights about how to resolve your struggles. If you want more guidance on how to implement the suggestions I’ve made in this booklet, feel free to contact me at [email protected] to schedule a complimentary Illumination Call. I’m happy to talk with you!

Lots of love, Marcella

HI THERE!

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ABOUT MY WORK I am a natural foods chef, meditation instructor, and energy healer who has developed a remarkably effective blend of tools and processes to help health-conscious women like you love and forgive yourself, your food, and your figure:

Fermented Foods. We so often beat ourselves up for our lack of willpower in our food choices. But the latest research now shows that imbalanced gut ecology can drive us unwittingly to those Krispy Kremes and Häagen-Dazs. I coach clients on how to incorporate fermented foods into their lifestyle.

Breakfast. We’ve all heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But so many of us think of a healthy breakfast as oatmeal, yogurt, or a green smoothie. I help clients get their day off to a nutritionally stable start so that they effortlessly resist cravings and binges throughout the day.

Emotional Release. The main tool I use in my work is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, also called “Tapping”). EFT is a powerful self-help tool that uses fingertip tapping on acupressure points to reduce the emotional impact of memories and incidents that trigger stress.

You’ll find EFT instruction videos on the Media page of my web site or youtube. Feel free to visit and tap along until you get the hang of the technique. Forgiveness. None of the above tools create lasting change until we forgive and release the myriad ways we blame ourselves for our predicament. It’s my profound privilege to help clients open the door to truly unconditional self-love and release the emotional and physical pounds they’ve been longing to shed their entire lives.

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REASON #9

Your gut ecology is out of whack.

If you’ve eaten sugar your whole life … if you’ve ever taken antibiotics … if you weren’t breastfed or delivered naturally … if you’ve been chronically dieting for years … chances are excellent that the ecological balance of your digestive tract has gone awry. New evidence indicates that imbalanced gut ecology adversely affects the way our bodies store fat, regulate blood sugar, and respond to hormones that make us feel hungry or full, all setting the stage for overweight and obesity.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• Start eating fermented foods. Better than probiotic supplements, fermented foods have a grater diversity of beneficial bacteria and are yummy to boot! Look for these in your local health-food store or watch my fermented foods videos on my YouTube channel and make some of your own:

o Sauerkraut o Kombucha o Unsweetened plain yogurt o Water kefir o Milk kefir o Kvass o Lacto-fermented vegetables

• Avoid or eliminate foods that disrupt your gut ecological balance: o Refined carbohydrates (white bread, pasta, pastries, cookies) o Rancid oils (processed vegetable oils, canola oil, hydrogenated fats) o Diet sodas, chewing gum, and anything else containing aspartame o High-fructose corn syrup or other artificial sweeteners o Ingredients you don’t know or can’t pronounce

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REASON #8

You’re eating low-fat foods. If you’ve been an obsessive calorie-counter, you’ve probably shunned that 9-calories-per-gram fat like the plague. Despite everything you’ve been told, fat in food does not equal fat on your body ~ in fact, it’s quite the opposite. High-quality fats both stimulate your metabolism and activate your satiety cues—in other words, they tell your brain when your belly is full. Without healthy fats in your diet, you’ll always have trouble knowing when to stop. This is why a low-fat diet will pack on more calories than a food regimen with appropriate portions of health-supportive fats.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• Avoid all foods that make health claims such as “40% less fat.” (Forty percent less than what? Who are they kidding?)

• Avoid all foods labeled as “Diet” or “Lite.” Chances are they’re loaded with processed ingredients that trigger your body’s inflammatory responses and cause you to hold on to excess weight.

• Add more high-quality fats to your meals: o Avocado o Eggs o Nuts and seeds o Butter o Ghee o Coconut oil

o Chicken fat o Duck fat o Beef tallow o Lard o Whole-milk products o Goat and sheep cheeses

Read my article “Stop Eating Concepts and Start Eating Food” for a simple mindfulness exercise to tune into your body’s innate knowledge of what it needs to be healthy.

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REASON #7

You’re skipping breakfast. Remember what I said earlier about weight gain being a symptom of something deeper? One of the biggest triggers of weight gain is dysglycemia, or imbalanced blood sugar, which happens when we skip meals and eat erratically.

Balancing your blood sugar is the key to weight loss. And breakfast is the key to balancing blood sugar. It’s the most important tool for reducing food cravings, regulating body weight, and stabilizing stress responses.

Without a good breakfast in your belly, your body stands a slim chance (no pun intended) of finding its right-sized weight.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• Don’t go hungry. You might think that not eating is the easiest way to lose weight; but skipping or skimping on meals sends your blood sugar spiraling and makes you more vulnerable to cravings and binges.

• Think outside the breakfast box. A good breakfast can be so much more than yogurt, fruit, granola, and bagels.

• Start the day on a full tank. Be sure your breakfast contains plenty of protein (eggs, meats, nuts, beans), health-supportive fats (see Reason #8), and fiber (whole grains, beans, fresh vegetables) to keep your blood sugar on an even keel.

Take a look at my article “Breakfast: The Key to a Happy Life,” which will not only give you more menu ideas but also gives you an EFT tapping script that can help diffuse the stress around nourishing yourself at the start of your day.

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REASON #6

You rarely eat home-cooked meals.

Do you hate home cooking? Or do you want to cook at home but never find the time? Or you cook, but you’re tired of eating the same things over and over? Do you know you’ve been brainwashed to think this way?

The food industry doesn’t want you in the kitchen providing for yourself, because then you’re not buying processed foods and takeout; so their advertising is designed to make you believe that cooking at home is a drag.

Your chances of gaining weight increase when even one meal a week comes from takeout. You cannot possibly put all the sugar, salt, and additives into your home-cooked fare that you get in a single takeout meal.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

• Learn to cook at least one food well, whether it’s steaming green beans, roasting a potato, or pan-cooking a chicken thigh. You don’t have to mimic the gladiatorial spectacle of TV cooking shows. Simple is good enough.

• Bring ordinary celebrations into cooking and eating. Listen to relaxing music. Clear and set the table, even if it’s only for you.

• Eat with others whenever possible. Plan at least one weeknight for family supper. Invite a friend to eat with you. We eat in a more civilized fashion when we eat with others.

• Learn the difference between whole foods and processed foods. Some simple rules of thumb include, “If it comes from a plant eat it; if it’s made in a plant, don’t.”

• Create your own food rituals. Eat from a beautiful bowl. Teach your children to wash their own napkins. Learn a meal chant or create one of your own.

• Expect progress, not perfection. It’s okay to be clumsy and inconsistent and forgetful. If you start to slide, just bring yourself back!

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REASON #5

You’re under too much stress.

You know what chronic stress looks like: • Anxiously rushing around, feeling a continual sense of urgency and a chronic lack of

time • Beating yourself up for never doing enough • Putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own • Being unable to say no • Desperately wanting to relax but never finding time • Going to sleep too late at night • Skipping meals • Wanting to exercise but never finding time for that, either

Chronic stress raises cortisol, the fight-or-flight hormone that’s helpful if you have to run out of a burning building.

But when everyday life feels like that burning building, your body is going to hold on to every molecule of extra body fat, especially around the belly, to preserve its energy stores in case of attack.

So why not lose weight by chilling out?

Impossible, you say?

The clients of mine who have had the greatest successes losing weight and keeping it off are ones who have jettisoned the excess baggage of stressful circumstances along with their extra pounds.

This is something most diet and exercise regimens simply won’t tell you.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Nothing. Nothing. The Italians have a saying, il bel far niente (“the beautiful doing nothing”). When’s the last time you sat on your back patio with a mug of your favorite tea, or lay down on your sofa with headphones and relaxing music, or took a nice hot bath? If you’re feeling chronic stress and anxiety in your life, tap along with my audio-recorded “Morning Meditation” to help you start your day with centeredness and serenity.

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REASON #4

You talk trash about your body.

“Look at my gut!” “I feel like such a pig!”

“My thighs are enormous!”

“I’ve got Fat Cow Disease!”

“I look like a beached whale!

You wouldn’t dream of saying such hurtful words to your best friend. But you don’t think twice about saying them to yourself.

Whether you say them aloud or not, the negative thoughts and words you associate with your body keep you stuck in your past, undermine your confidence, demolish your self-trust, and create metabolic conditions that make weight loss total, sheer, utter hell.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

The next time you find yourself trash-talking your body, stop. Place your hands on your heart … take three deep, conscious breaths … and bring your awareness to the present moment. Shine a spotlight on that voice. Ask, “Whose voice is this?” Listen. You might receive a clear answer, or you might just get an image or a hunch. Either way, go with it. Tell that voice, out loud, that you’re changing the channel. Then look in a mirror and find at least three honest things you can genuinely appreciate about your body. Say aloud, “I really like (such-and-such) about my body.” “I really appreciate that my body can (such-and-such).” Repeat this process until the appreciative thoughts become your new normal.

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REASON #3

You don’t celebrate your successes.

You’re happy when you’ve lost five pounds, but at the same time you’re nervous. You’ve been here before, and you dare not hope that this time the weight could come off for good. I want to remind you of something you probably already know:

The universe says “yes” to every thought.

If you think, “It’s just five pounds ~ I need to lose 50, and I’ll never do that,” the universe says, “Yes.”

If you think, “Great! Five pounds ~ I’m on my way,” the universe says, “Yes.”

If you’re waiting in ambush for the weight to come back on, then it’s just a matter of time until it does.

Conversely, if you celebrate the smaller successes as stepping-stones to the bigger ones, you’ll feel more motivated to take the actions that will bring you success, and the more success you’ll get.

Focusing on success seems like it should be easy, but it takes practice. Over time, your sustained attention to success will rewire your brain and release the same feel-good chemicals that you used to get from binge eating.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Find ways to celebrate that feel authentic to you:

The next time your clothes fit a little looser …

• Put on some fun music and do a 3-minute happy dance. • Take a long walk outside or a hot bath with candles and essential oils. • Make yourself a well-planned meal. • Share your success with someone who’s really got your back. • Place post-it notes on your mirror with positive reinforcement: “Well done!” “You’re

amazing!” “You’re on your way!”

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REASON #2

You can’t give up your identity as an overweight person.

I can’t tell you how many of my clients say, “I’ve been overweight my whole life.” “I’m one of three sisters: I’m the chubby one; my middle sister’s the smart one; and the youngest is the pretty one.”

“My mother and my aunts are all overweight, that’s where I get it from.”

Do you recognize yourself here?

For as much as you want to lose that weight, part of you is so deeply identified as an overweight person that stepping out of that identity feels more terrifying than physical death. If you’re afraid that losing weight will cause you to outshine your sister or your mother … if you’re afraid of co-workers noticing you and saying, “Wow, you look great!” … you might well have a subconscious agenda to stay stuck that’s pulling hard in the opposite direction of your weight loss goals.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? If you want to lose the weight and keep it off, you must summon the courage to be witnessed by your tribe as having changed. This takes support. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want you to shine and be successful. Take a look at my article, “The Upside of Compulsive Eating,” which not only explains this dilemma in greater detail; it also gives you a writing exercise you can do right now to gently release the subconscious secondary gains that shackle your freedom.

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REASON #1

You believe it’s your fault. If Mom put you on a diet when you were 8 years old … if she told you how unladylike you were at the meal table … if you had to endure Grandpa’s rude remarks about your body … and if the chips, cookies, chocolate, and ice cream were your only friends in all that madness … you might well feel that your body weight is all your fault and that there’s something horribly, shamefully wrong about you.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Whatever you’re doing right now, please stop. I mean it. Place your hands on your heart … and take three, deep conscious breaths. And let me say to you:

There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing bad about you. Your struggles with your food and body weight are not your fault. There have just been things in the way…. and they can be moved out of the way, if you allow them to be.

If you consciously know these words are true, but a deeper part of you can’t quite believe it, tap along to my EFT audio recording, “I Can’t Forgive Myself” every day for 14 days, until you can let yourself off the hook for good.

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MY INVITATION TO YOU The truth is … there are many, many reasons why you haven’t lost the weight yet. Some of them I’ve touched on in this booklet; others are extremely personal to your biology, your history, and your emotional patterns. Whatever the reasons are for you, there’s one thing I know for sure:

Without consistent support, whatever useful information you’ve gotten from this document will lose its value once you stop reading it.

And before you know it, you’ll forget everything you read here and will be back in your food behaviors, throwing this booklet into the pile of yet one more thing that didn’t work. Like you, I want to see you heal your food and body image issues for good. And I would love to be with you as you look at your life in awe as it transforms before your eyes. If you feel called to take a deeper journey … if something is whispering to you, “reach out … get support,” I have an invitation for you. I invite you to schedule with me a complimentary Illumination Call this week. This call will allow you to take what you’ve read in this booklet and map out the next steps of your transformational journey. My promise to you is that you’ll leave the call feeling seen, held, affirmed, and supported; and that you’ll come away with some action steps that you can take right away to step onto the path of healing your relationship with your food and your body. Imagine hsiruon taht sdoof fo edam slaem decnalab ,raluger gnitae flesruoy

gnixaler … tsap ruoy gnivigrof … gniyrt neve tuohtiw sgnivarc gnitsiser ...uoy the struggle with your body size … too good to be true? It’s all within your reach ~ let me guide you on your journey, and I’ll show you how.

Contact me now at [email protected] to schedule your call.

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WHAT CLIENTS SAY Marcella, my experience with you was monumentally important to me! The three most important aspects of the work we did together were (1) the recognition of my deep-rooted fear of losing weight and being thin; (2) the use of Tapping to make a mind/body connection that seemed to be the missing key for me; (3) the the ability to integrate and incorporate knowledge, skills, and resources to effect healthy changes in my life; and (4) the insights and understanding I gained about the transformative power of human connection and support in my life. Talk about the right time and the right place and the right teachers! So far, 37 pounds have disappeared from my body, and I know the rest will come off when the time is right.

~Dianne C., Phoenix, AZ

When I first met Marcella, I liked her immediately and was intrigued by her exceptional background, her knowledge of food and healing, and her work with EFT. I did a series of sessions with her, and it truly was amazing. Marcella is interestingly, wonderfully ordinary. She is so warm, calm, and knowledgeable ~ and so normal. I can’t adequately describe the way she connects with you. She has an absolutely uncanny way of cutting right through to the heart of things. “I am a pleaser by nature, and there are certain people in my life I always overeat with. In my sessions with Marcella, I realized that I was trying to comfort them by eating with them instead of taking care of myself. This was eye opening to say the least. After those sessions with Marcella I felt better and more positive than I’d felt in years. I can’t recommend her highly enough.

~Mary Lou H., Kennett Square, PA Marcella, I'm one of those people that's tried everything in the world. I've been dieting for over 50 years! When we first started working together, I saw the power in Tapping. I decided I was going to go for it. I tap every day now, at least twice. . I'll never be perfect. But I'm not worrying about what I eat all the time. I enjoy healthy foods, and it's not like the struggle it was before. I just eat whatever I want, and I keep losing weight. I've lost 15 pounds without even trying! It's slow, it's not anything dramatic, and that's fine. I can't tell you how much lighter I feel from resolving some of those old issues that I actually thought I already had come to terms with.

~Terry O., Denver, CO

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