Being Clear in Your Writing

Being Clear in Your Writing

CONCEPT 3: BEING DIRECT

Principles:1. Eliminate “zombie

nouns” (aka nominalizations) where possible.

2. Replace “vampire verbs” (to be, to have) with more active, specific ones.

Principle 1 for directness: Eliminate “zombie nouns” (aka nominalizations). Use strong, specific nouns instead.

efficiencyreliability

attention

relationships

performance

knowledge

functionality

If it ends in…-tion -ism

-ity -ment

-ness -age

-ance/ence -ship

-ability -acy

…it’s probably a “zombie noun.”

Examples:

The proliferation of nominalizations in a discursive formation may be an indication of a tendency toward pomposity and abstraction.

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Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

Eliminating “zombie nouns”: Find the verb hidden in the nominalization and make it work in the sentence.

-after an “empty verb”:

The police conducted an investigation of the matter.The police investigated the matter.

-after “there is” or “there are”:

There was considerable erosion of the land from the floods.The floods eroded the land considerably.

-when the nominalization is the subject of an empty verb:

Our intention is to audit the records of the program.We intend to audit the program’s records.

What verbs are at the root of these commonly used “zombie nouns”?

RelationImprovementObservationReferenceApplicationDevelopmentConnectionAnalysisUtilizationVariabilityConformity Recommendation

Principle 2 for directness: Reduce the use of “vampire verbs” (to be and to have). Use active, specific verbs instead.

Examples:

When the interplanting of garlic chives with tomatoes is performed, bacterial wilt is suppressed.

The church had a door that dated back to the 14th century. The door had weather-bleached wood and pitted iron bindings.

In a healthy cell, DNA molecules located within the mitochondria are directly responsible for the production of energy. This energy is used by the human body for everyday activities, which include walking, talking, sleeping, eating, and breathing. However, when AZT is introduced to the body, the mitochondria is unable to perform its major function of energy production.

MAKE ME NOT SUCK:

CONCEPT 4: BEING ACCESSIBLE

Principles:1. Write in “plain English” where possible.2. Create structure by using headings and topic sentences.3. Replace general terms with specific examples where possible.

Principle 1 for accessibility: Write in “plain English” wherever you can.

Learned “Official Style” (bureaucratese):

“A romantic relationship is ongoing between Sarah and Bill.” OR “One can easily see that an interactive romantic relationship is currently being fulfilled between Sarah and Bill.”

Why not: “Sarah and Bill are dating.”?

Principle 2 for accessibility: Create structure by using headings and topic sentences (“sign posts”).

HEADINGS serve as markers for information.

TOPIC SENTENCES organize information in a paragraph.

Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers. The plan backfired when a dog chased them away. She then entertained a group of teenagers and was delighted when they brought their motorcycles. Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo system was not loud enough. The crab grass might have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave her hope until the number was changed. She thought about calling a door to door salesman but decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the installation of blinking neon lights across the street that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from the classified section.

Read this (or try to….it won’t make much sense).

Sally disliked her neighbors and wanted them to leave the area. Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers. The plan backfired when a dog chased them away. She then entertained a group of teenagers and was delighted when they brought their motorcycles. Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo system was not loud enough. The crab grass might have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave her hope until the number was changed. She thought about calling a door to door salesman but decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the installation of blinking neon lights across the street that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from the classified section.

Notice how the topic sentence clears up confusion.

Principle 3 for accessibility: Replace or anchor general terms with specific examples where possible.

Example of a general statement:“Since the design of the plant, we have made major advances in solar technology.”

The general statement anchored with a specific example:“Since the design of the plant, we have made major advances in solar technology. For example, experiments have show that using molten salt as the heat transfer fluid could increase plant efficiency from 17% to 25%.”