bad pans or jokes Mar-Apr 2008: The Future of Sex Subscriber Services Click here to find out more! mental_floss * Magazine * Blogs * Trivia * Store Subscriptions Subscriptions IN: « Previous Post - Next Post » David The Best Pun IN THE WORLD!! Finalists by David - March 19, 2008 - 3:35 PM We’ve narrowed down all the punny entries from last week’s Best Pun IN THE WORLD!! Competition and settled on the following 10. As with the caption contests, we’re letting YOU guys pick the winner. One vote per person, please, and may the best pun win! The 10 finalists are… A) Two fishermen were in a boat by the lake, when one of them stood to catch a fish in a net. As he scooped up the carp, his wallet fell out of his back pocket. As the seemingly doomed billfold started to sink to the lake
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David
The Best Pun IN THE WORLD!! Finalists
by David - March 19, 2008 - 3:35 PM
We’ve narrowed down all the punny entries from last week’s Best
Pun IN THE WORLD!! Competition and settled on the following 10.
As with the caption contests, we’re letting YOU guys pick the
winner. One vote per person, please, and may the best pun win!
The 10 finalists are…
A) Two fishermen were in a boat by the lake, when one of them
stood to catch a fish in a net. As he scooped up the carp, his wallet
fell out of his back pocket. As the seemingly doomed billfold
started to sink to the lake bottom, the carp slipped out of the net
and swam after it, re-emerging with it on his nose.
However, instead of returning it, he tossed it to one of his fish
buddies, who balanced it on his nose. More of more of fish-buddies
emerged from the water, and all of them played this strange game
of keep-away with the man’s billfold.
The first man watched, slackjawed. He said to the other “Have you
ever seen anything like this before?”
The second man answered “Sure I have. Haven’t you heard of
carp-to-carp walleting?”
- Michael
B) A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris,
but was caught 2 blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All the
thief could say for himself was: “I had no MONET to buy DEGAS to
make the VAN GOGH. But I tried for it anyway because I had
nothing TOULOUSE!”
- kerensa
C) “Did you see this story? Says here that a newspaper published
a report about election fraud, and some goons from the ruling
party went and attacked their offices.”
“What did they do?”
“Oh, toppled file cabinets, threw paper around, smashed
monitors…”
“Any loss of life?”
“No, it looks like just a monitor-y loss.”
- AG
D) I’ve been reading something very interesting — Stephen
Hawking’s latest book about anti-gravity.
I just can’t put it down.
- buddz
E) Ancient humans, venturing across the ice bridge to North
America, got lost quite often. They found it very hard to keep their
Bering Strait….
- ;im
F) Kay Nein’s English Bulldog, Og, had just been awarded ‘Best in
Show’ and she
felt a celebratory ice cream from Calabash’s Frozen Doggie Treats
was in order; however, what she had intended to be a single scoop
in a cup quickly evolved into a glop of every flavor available -
leading Kay to comment, “It’s a mishmash, Calabash… give Og a
cone!”
- Amy
G) Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine
that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing
the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.
As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a
reptile dysfunction.
- Michael
H) What do you get after playing the lute for 10 hours straight?
Minstrel cramps.
- Denise
[Ed. Note: Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor.
Period.]
I) I tried to come up with a pun about famous German
philosophers, but I Kant.
- Dan
J) Did you hear they found a narcissistic male lion whose females
had turned on him?
No, really?
Yeah. Course it was his pride that did him in…
- Justin
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Comments (169)
1.
Oh, they’re all so good….but my vote goes to G. Too too funny.
posted by Josh on 3-19-2008 at 3:46 pm
2.
Oh god - I really have to say that it is a tie between B and G
posted by Sarah on 3-19-2008 at 3:46 pm
3.
H is probably the punniest for me! :-D
posted by Roger on 3-19-2008 at 3:47 pm
4.
It was between G and H, but eventually H won me over. I tend
to giggle slightly more for H.
posted by Darby on 3-19-2008 at 3:54 pm
5.
i vote for b, but they are all great
posted by bet on 3-19-2008 at 4:08 pm
6.
I vote for G
posted by Jo-Ann Burton on 3-19-2008 at 4:09 pm
7.
B
Everyone knows when you are Baroque, you have no Monet.
posted by gus on 3-19-2008 at 4:10 pm
8.
H for hysterical! ;)
posted by Johnny Cat on 3-19-2008 at 4:10 pm
9.
A, although G is close second.
posted by Miss Priss on 3-19-2008 at 4:13 pm
10.
A truly great pun should have both sides of the homophone be
meaningful to the setup. Thats why, for me, it comes down to E
and H.
E wins it because both words are punny
posted by Mike D on 3-19-2008 at 4:23 pm
11.
I pick E.
posted by Ariel on 3-19-2008 at 4:24 pm
12.
A, hands down!
posted by Ed on 3-19-2008 at 4:30 pm
13.
Have to go with G. I take issue with some of these not really
being puns…but they were all pretty good!
posted by RosiePerez on 3-19-2008 at 4:34 pm
14.
A definitely wins, but H is pretty clever…
posted by Mortal Light on 3-19-2008 at 4:41 pm
15.
F!!!!
posted by Anonymous on 3-19-2008 at 4:42 pm
16.
Just like most of the others, it was between G & H for me; but,
ultimately, it was G that made me laugh out loud the first time I
read it.
posted by Nikki on 3-19-2008 at 4:45 pm
17.
For some reason, D made me laugh the hardest. I also really
like A.
posted by Krie on 3-19-2008 at 4:51 pm
18.
Definitely G. :)
posted by M on 3-19-2008 at 4:56 pm
19.
Wow! Hard. I go with B.
posted by infojones on 3-19-2008 at 5:01 pm
20.
H!
posted by Stuffanie on 3-19-2008 at 5:03 pm
21.
My vote goes to G for the great reptile dysfunction pun!
posted by Piseco on 3-19-2008 at 5:11 pm
22.
j definitely gets my vote
posted by jacob on 3-19-2008 at 5:41 pm
23.
H
as well as the editors note!
posted by annie on 3-19-2008 at 5:45 pm
24.
I vote for G.
But as everyone knows, the shortest distance between two
puns is a straightline…
posted by David on 3-19-2008 at 5:57 pm
25.
hmm…is A technically a spoonerism? I’m having flasbacks from
ninth grade english class.
posted by tilly on 3-19-2008 at 6:03 pm
26.
if anything other than G wins it will be the greatest tragedy of
the decade(except for maybe the whole, towers thing… and the
war… oh and this recession. Actually, it won’t be that bad, but G
was still clearly the best).
posted by Curtis on 3-19-2008 at 6:08 pm
27.
G
posted by kevin A on 3-19-2008 at 6:21 pm
28.
e
posted by zale on 3-19-2008 at 6:25 pm
29.
Hmm, I’ve narrowed it down to two, E and G but since I can
pick only one I choose…
E
posted by Suzanne on 3-19-2008 at 6:52 pm
30.
D gets my vote!
posted by Zwiegers on 3-19-2008 at 6:55 pm
31.
H is the best, but D isn’t a pun.
posted by Chris on 3-19-2008 at 7:15 pm
32.
G, but E is a close second. They picked up after D, no offense
but those early ones could have been the most overused puns or
worse puns depending on which one.
posted by Kinglink on 3-19-2008 at 7:25 pm
33.
J
posted by Emily S S on 3-19-2008 at 7:41 pm
34.
G!
posted by kati on 3-19-2008 at 7:43 pm
35.
H
posted by Sahar on 3-19-2008 at 8:37 pm
36.
G - i don’t get a and b, tough call between the rest
posted by fran on 3-19-2008 at 8:51 pm
37.
B.
posted by Jet on 3-19-2008 at 8:53 pm
38.
Simplicity award- I
Creativity- D
posted by John K on 3-19-2008 at 9:09 pm
39.
G me
posted by Steve on 3-19-2008 at 9:18 pm
40.
D or G…all the other ones feel too contrived.
posted by Julia on 3-19-2008 at 9:36 pm
41.
G just made me laugh so much.
posted by Manda on 3-19-2008 at 9:45 pm
42.
B!!!!!!!
posted by Tee on 3-19-2008 at 9:56 pm
43.
definately G
posted by Kazza on 3-19-2008 at 9:59 pm
44.
BY and large the greatest pun I ever read was:
“I was reading this story about a Salvador Dali exhibit. Turns
out, the whole thing was a fraud and none of the paintings were by