Sep 20, 2014
AWAY WE GO.
BURT: “Do you promise to let our daughter be fat or
skinny or any weight at all? Because we want her to be
happy, no matter what. Being obsessed with weight
is just too cliché for our daughter.”
VERONA: “Yes, I do. Do you promise, when she talks, you'll listen? Like, really
listen, especially when she's scared? And that her fights
will be your fights?”
BURT: “I do. And do you promise that if I die some embarrassing and boring
death that you're gonna tell our daughter that her father
was killed by Russian soldiers in this intense
hand-to-hand combat in an attempt to save the lives of 850 Chechnyan orphans?”
VERONA: “I do. Chechnyan orphans. I do. I do.”
WHY DON’T WE SEE THESE COUPLES ON TV?
OR IN MOST MOVIES?
OR EVEN IN MANY BOOKS?
PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY ARE RARE.
AS RARE IN REAL LIFE
AS THEY ARE
IN WORKS OF FICTION.
AND THIS ISN’T AT ALL GOING TO BE A
“MAN, JOHN KRASINSKI IS SUCH A DREAMBOAT;
I WISH HE WAS MY BF!”
BECAUSE THAT’S JUST TOO CLICHÉ,
FOR THIS DAUGHTER.
IT IS
HOWEVER
A LAMENT
OF SORTS.
THE IMAGES THAT WE SEE
OF LOVE
AND LONG-TERM COMPANIONSHIP
ARE RIFE
WITH ALL KINDS OF
CRAZYCRAZYCRAZYCRAZY
CRAZY.
AND WE ARE TAUGHT THAT
LOVE IS
HOLDING A BOOMBOX BLASTING PETER GABRIEL OVER YOUR HEAD
OR BONING WHOOPI GOLDBERG
BECAUSE THE GHOST OF
PATRICK SWAYZE
IS INSIDE OF HER…
!!!
SEE?
ALL KINDS OF CRAY-ZAY.
AND EVEN WHEN I KNOW BETTER,
BECAUSE I HAD THE WARMESTGENTLEST
MOST BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE
OF LOVE
AND LONG-TERM COMPANIONSHIP
IN THE HOMES IN WHICH I GREW UP,
I AM ALSO REMINDED
ON THE DAILY
THAT LOVE IS
WITH THE FOCUS
SO LARGELY
ON ALL OF THE
CRAZY
AS IF THE CRAZY
WAS PROOF
OF REAL LOVE.
WHERE ARE THE MAYA RUDOLPH WOMEN THAT KNOW WHO THEY ARE AND WON’T MARRY JOHN KRASINSKI WHEN HE’S HAVING A CRAZY SPELL BECAUSE SHE
KNOWS WHAT SHE BELIEVES?
OR THE JOHN KRASINSKI MEN THAT GO DOWN ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS ENOUGH TO KNOW
WHEN THEY TASTE DIFFERENT?
OR THE MAYA RUDOLPH WOMEN THAT ARE MATURE ENOUGH NOT TO JUDGE THEIR PARTNERS WHEN THEY CODE-SWITCH WHILE TALKING TO THEIR
BOSS?
OR THE JOHN KRASINSKI MEN THAT WILL CALL THEIR PARTNERS CUNTSUCKERS LOUDLY
ON A CROWDED TRAIN?
(TO GET THE BABY’S HEART RATE UP, DUH…IT’S REALLY A SWEET SCENE.)
OR THE COUPLES THAT HAVE MUCH MORE TO THEM
THAN THE LOVE THEY’RE IN.
SEE?
ALL KINDS OF CRAZY.
AND I’M NOT TRYING TO DENY THAT THE CRAZY EXISTS,
BECAUSE IT SURELY HAS ITS PLACE
IN LOVE
AND LONG-TERM COMPANIONSHIPS
BUT MY FRUSTRATION LIES IN THE FACT THAT WE FOCUS SO MUCH ON THESE EMOTIONAL HIGHS AND LOWS, WITH IMAGES OF THE CRAZY BOMBARDING
OUR EYES AND HEADS AND HEARTS,
THAT WE FORGET THAT WHEN WE ARE IN LOVE
REAL LOVE,
WE FEEL ENOUGH SECURITY IN OURSELVES AND OUR PARTNERS
THAT WE DON’T NEED TO FOCUS ON THE LOVE
THAT WE ARE IN,
JUST AS WHEN WE ARE IN GOOD HEALTH
WE DON’T NEED TO FOCUS SO MUCH ON
BREATHING IN
BREATHING OUT
BECAUSE IT IS NATURAL, SECOND-NATURE,
A PART OF US.
AND THOUGH BREATHING IS VITAL,
WHEN WE ARE IN GOOD HEALTH,
WE FOCUS ON OTHER THINGSAND WE CAN DO THOSE THINGS BETTER,
BECAUSE WE AREN’T PREOCCUPIED WITHOUR BREATHING.
AND MAYBE IF WE SHIFTED OUR FOCUS
IN OUR WORKS OF FICTION
OUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS
WOULD BE LESS
CLICHÉ.