Astell Mary Some Reflections Upon Marriage, Occasion'd by the Duke and Dutchess of Mazarine's Case Astell

7/27/2019 Astell Mary Some Reflections Upon Marriage, Occasion'd by the Duke and Dutchess of Mazarine's Case Astell

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PERKINS LIBRARYJJuke University

Kare iJooks


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Digitized by the Internet Archivein 2011 with funding fromDuke University Libraries

http://www.archive.org/details/somereflectionsuOOaste


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BOOKS written by the fame Authorând fold ^^ William Parker, atthe King's'Head in St. haul's Church-Yard.

HE CHRISTIAN RELIGION, asPro-fefs'd by a D a u g h t e r of the Church ofEyigland. The Third Edition.

Shewing, the due Behaviour of Women-, the Vicesthey ought to Shun^ and the Virtues they ought toPra&ice. A Treatife very neceirary, in this dege-nerate Age, to confirm the Ladies in iheir 'Reli-gious Prir/cifksy and to inftrudt them in what theyought to beliei-e and pra&ife, in order to their'Eternal Salvation.

A Serious Proposal to the Ladies for theAdvancement of their true and greateji Intereft,Part I. The Fourth Edition.A Serious Propos al to the Ladies, Part II.

Wherein a Method is offered for the Improvementof their Minds.Letters concerning the Love of God,

between the Author of the Propofal to the Ladiesyand Mr. John Norris : Wherein his late Difcourfe,Ihewing, diat it ought to be intire and exclufive of allother Loves, is farther cleared and juftificd. Thefecond Edition.An Enquiry after Wit: Wherein the tri-

fling Arguing, and impious Raillery of the late Earl ofShaftsbury-, in his Letter concerning Enthufiafm:ând other profane Writers, are fully Anfwcr'd andjuftly Expofed. The Second Edition.Moderation truly ftated : Or a Review of a

late Pamphlet, intided, Moderation a Vertue. Witha Prefatory Difcourfe to Dr. Ifyiveîant, concern-ing his late EfTayson Peace and War. /i^to.


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SOME

REFLECTIONSUPONMARRIAGE

With Additions.The FOURTH EDITION.

LONDON:Printed for W i l 1. 1 a m P a r k e R, at the

Kings Head in St. Paul's Church-Yard.M.DCC.XXX.


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.^? iADVERTISEMENT.HESE Reflexions beingmade in the Country^ 'wherethe Book that occajiond

them came but late to Hand, theReader is dejird to excufe theirUnfeafonahlenefs as well as otherFaults 5 and to believe^ that theyhave no other Dejign than to Cor^reH feme Ahufes^ which are not thelefs hecaufi Tower a?id Treferiptionfeem to authorize them. If any isfe needkjly curious as to inquirefrom

what


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Al^VERTISEMENT.fwloat Hand they come^ they maypleafe to know, that it is not goodManners to asky Jince the 'TitleVage does not tell them : We are allof us fiifficiently Vain^ and 'withoutdoubtJ the celebrated Name of Au-thor, which mojl arefo fond of hadnot been avoided hut for very goodReafons : To name but one ^ Whowill care to pull upon themfelvesan Hornet's Nefl: ? 'Tis a very greatFaulty to regard rather Who it isthat fpeaksy than What is fpoken 5and either to fubmit to Authority^when we floould only yield to Rea^fon 5 or if Reafon prefs too hard, tothink to ward it offby T^erfinal Ob^je6fions and Reflexions. Bold Truthsmay pafs while the Speaker is In-cognito, but are feldom endurdwhen he is known 5 few Minds be'

ing


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Adv ertisement.ing (irong enough to hear ^hat cori"tradios their Principles and ^rac"ticeSj ^without recriminating whenthey can. And though to tell theTruth he the mojl Friendly Office^yet whofoever is fa hardy as to ven^ture at it^ Jloall he counted an Enemyforfo doing.

The Preface in the Lift Editionbeing extended to an uncommonLength, is now printed at the lat-ter End, as an Appendix.

E KK At A.Page II. line if. read^owr^ p. 14. 1. f. r.fufficient., p. zi.

1. 10. dele in that; p. 97. 1. 10. after opfofe add /* ;p. 130. 1.6. r. Adulterer y 1. 23. v. humbled, p. 131.1. 2. for than read as; p. 1^6. \. 14. for was r, is.


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Booh Sold hy W. Parker.^A Rchbifhop Sharp's Sermons. 4 Vols.** Bifhop Moor's Sermons. 2 Vols.A Colleftion of above three hundred Receipts inCookery, Phyfick, and Surger)', for the Ufe of allgood Wives, tender Mothers, and careful Nurfes.By feveral Hands. The Fourth Edition : To whichis added, a fecond Part, containing a great Numberof excellent Receipts, for Preferving and Confervingof Sweet-Meats, crc.A Differtation of the Extreme FoUy and Dangerof Infideli-v ; occafioncd by a late virulent Book,intitled, A Difcourfc on the Grounds and Reafonsof the Chriflian Religion. By Thomas Curteis^Redor of Wrotham in K.ent. Second Edition.Pr. 2x.An Inquiry whether a general Pradice of Virtuetends to the Wealth or Poverty, Benefit or Advan-tage of a People ? In which the Pleas offered by theAuthor of the Fable of the Bees, cr. Private Vices,Publick Benefits, for the Ufetulnefs of Vice andRoguery, are confidered \ with fome Thought?concerning a Toleration of Publick Stews. By thelate Mr. Bluett. Pr. 2 s. 6d.The Hiftory of the Life and Sufferings of the Re-verend and Learned John WkkliW-, D. D. Wardenof Canterbury Hall, and Publick ProfefTor of Divi-nity in Oxford^ and Reftor of Lutterivorth in JLe/"-ceflerjhire^ in the Reign of King Edward III. andRichard the II. j together with a Colledion of Papersrelating to the faid Hiftory, never before Printed.By John Levjis, M. A. Minifter o( Margate in Kent.The Church Catechifm explained for the Ufe ofthe Diocefe of St. yifaph. By the Right ReverendFather in God PFUl. Beverrdge, D. D. late BilTiopof St. Afaph. Sixdi Edition.The Faith and Pradice of the Omxchoi England-Man. The Ninch Edition. Price ^d.

Principles of the Cyprianic Age, with Regard toEpifcopal Power and Jurifdidion, aflerted and re-commended from the genuine Writings of St. Cy*Man liimfelf, and his Contemporaries.


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SOMEREFLECTIONS

UPONMARRIAGE.

URIOSITY, which islometimes an Occafion ofGood, but more frequent-ly of Mifchief, by difturb-ing our own or our Neigh-

bours Repofe, having induced me to readthe Account of an unhappy Marriage,I thought an Afternoon w^ould not bequite thiown away in purfuing fuchReflexions as it occafion'd. I am farfrom defigning a Satire upon Marriage,as fome pretend, either unkindly or

B igno-


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ReflectionsIgnorant! y, through want of Rejle^tonin that Senfe wherein I ufe the Word.One wou*d have thought that Cardi-

nal Mazarim^ whofe Dignity, Powerand Riches, rendered him fo confidera-ble in the Eyes of all Europe ; and who,like moft great Minifters, aim'd at no-thing ib much as the aggrandizing him-felf and his Family, and who wantedno Opportunities of doing it, Ihouldhave taken his Meafures fo juftly as notto be difappointed : At leaft, that a Fa-brick rais'd with fo much Art and Coft,founded in the Oppreflion, and cement-ed with the Blood of the People, fhouldnot fo quickly have tumbled into theDuft after him. But fo it is, Providence,whether we think of it or no, over-rules our Anions and baffles our beft-concerted Projects : So that unlefs wcwilfully Ihut our Eyes, we cannot butdifcern, that when Meji in Power andHonour leave God out of their Schemes,they have jio Underpandtng^ though theirnatural Genius be ever fo bright^ hutare


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upon Marriage. iare jilftly compared to the Beajis that pe^rijh. The Ignorant and Fooli/lp fucceedquite as well as the fVorldly-ivife^ whocarry nothing away with them when theydie, neither will their Riches and Glorydefcend as they intended. It is only bygenerous and worthy Adions that weare refcued from Oblivion, or from whatis worfe, being remembred with Con-tempt and Execrations : So little Reafoais there to envy any Man's Wealth andGreatnels, but much to emulate theirWifdoni and Vertue whofe Views extendto a more durable Felicity.

'T I s natural to wetl-turn'd Minds^when they hear of any Pcrfon eminentin Wit and Beauty, adorn'd with Politc-nefs and Addrels, to wilh thefe may beaccompanied and fupported by what ismore valuable and laftiog, folid Senfe andreal Yertue. One grieves at any Imputa-tion on fuch an engaging Charader,and if one cannot always find the favou-rite Perfon fortunate, one labours forthe Confolation of finding them difcreet;

B 0, and


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Reflectionsand even where their Condud is notwholly blamelefs, CornpafTion and Good-nature will take Place of Cenfure in aNoble, as well as in a Chriftian Heart.We find out fomething to excufe, fome-thing to regret, lamenting that fiich aTreafure fhould fall into unworthyHands, infenlible of its Value, unskilfulto preferve and improve it: We figh,we grieve, that any Perfon capable ofbeing an Ornament to a Family, and Blef^fing to the Age, Ihould only ferve as anunhappy Shipwreck to point out theMisfortune of an ill Education and un-fuitable Marriage, and the inexprefiiblcDanger offeeking Confolation and Relief,in any thing but Innocence and Vertue.

They only who have felt it, know theMifery of being forcM to marry wherethey do not love ; of being yok'd forLife to a difagreeable Perfon and impe-rious Temper, where Ignorance and Fol-ly (the Ingredients of a Coxcomb, whois the moft unfufFcrable Fool) tyrannizesover Wit and Senfe ; To be perpetual-


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upon Marriage.ly contradicted for ContradicHon-falve,and bore down by Aiithoritv, not byArgument ; to be denied one's moft in-nocent Defires, for no other Realon butthe abfblute Will and Pleafure of a Lordand Mafter, whofe Follies a Wife, withall her Prudence, cannot hide, .^nd wholeCommands fhe cannot but delpife at thefame Time that fhe obeys them.

Or, fuppofe on the other Hand, fnehas married the Man fhe loves, hcap'dupon him the higheft Obligations, byputting into his Power the Fortune hecoveted, the Beauty he profefs'd to adore jhow foon are the Tables turn'd > It isher Part now to court and fawn j hisreal or pretended Pailion foon cools intoIndifference, Ncglcd, or perhaps Aver-{ion. 'Tis well if he prefervcs a de-cent Civility, takes a little care of Ap-pearances, and is willing to conceal hisBreach of faith.

But lliall a Wife retaliate? Godforbid ! no Provocation, though ever fo

B 3 great.


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Reflect loMsgreat, can excufe the Sin, or lefTen theFolly : It were indeed a revenging theInjury upon herfelf jn the moft terribleManner. The Italian Proverb ihews amuch, better Way, If you would be re-,venged ofyour EncmieSy live well.

Devotion is the proper Remedy,and the only infallible Relief in all Di-ftrefTes ; when this is negleded or turn'dinto Ridicule, we run, as from one Wic-kednefs, io from one Misfortune, to an-other. Unhappy is that Grandeur whichis too great to be good, and that whichfets us at a Diftance from true Wifdom.Even Bigotry, as contemptible as it is,is preferable to profane Wit ; for thatrequires our Pity, but this deferves ourAbhorrence.

A Woman who fecks Confolationunder Domeftick Troubles from theGaieties of a Court, from' Gallantry,Gaming, rambling in Search of odd Ad-ventures, childifh, ridiculous and ill-natur'd Amufements, fuch as we find in

;he


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iip07i Marriage.the unhappy Madam M 's MemotrSythe common Methods of getting rid ofTime, that is, of our very Being, andkeeping as much as we can at a Diftanccfrom ourfelvcs, will find thcfc are veryinfignificant Applications ; they hardlyskin the Wound, and can never heal it,they even hurt, they make it feftcr,and render it almoft incurable.

What an ill Figure docs a Womanmake, with all the Charms of her Beau-ty, and Sprightlinefs of her Wit, withall her good Humour and infinuatingAddrefs, though fhe be the beft Oecono-mift in the World, the mofl: entertain-ing Company, if (he remit her Guard,abate in the Severity of her Caution, andStriitnefs of her Vertue? If fhe neglectsthofc Methods which arc necelhiry tokeep her, not only from a Crime, butfrom the very Sufpicion of one? Shejuftifies the Injury her Husband has doneher, by publifhing to the World, thatwhatever good Qualities Ihe may pof^fefs, Difcrction, the Miftrcfs of all the

B 4 Tcft,


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8 Reflectionsreft, is wanting : Though fhe be reallyguiltlefs, fhe cannot prove her Innocence,the Sufpicions in her Prejudice are foftrong. When fhe is cenlur'd, Charity,that thinks no Evil, can only be filentthough it believes and hopes the beft,it cannot engage in her Defence, norapologize for irregular Actions.

A N ill Husband may deprive a Wifeof the Comfort and Quiet of her Life,give occafion of exercifing her Vertue,try her Patience and Fortitude to theiitmofb, which is all he can do; it isherfelf only that can accompliih herRuin.

I N vain we feek for Colours to var-nifii faulty Manners. An Advocateihews the bell Side of his Wit, butthe worft of his Integrity when he hasan ill Caufe to manage: But to what Pur-pof? ? He cannot inipofe on the Judicious,his Colouring vanillics before their Eyes,

. and a good deal of Malice, with a verylittle Senfe, will find the Weaknefs of

his


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upon Marriage.his Arguments; fo much the more fiifpe-ded, by how much the more laboured :For Truth is plain and forcible, depend-ing on her own Strength ; fhe requiresno more than to be placed in a properLight, nor condefcends to Art or Infi-nuations, unlefs in Compaffion to theWeaknei's and Prejudice of Mankind.Nor are they lefs miftaken in regard of"Wit, which confifts not meerly in fayingwhat is odd and out of the way ; Foolsdo this pretty often ; but Wit confifts inexprefling good Senfe in a furpridng,yet natural and agreeable Manner.

There are fome Reafons, (for theLaws of God and Man allow Divorcesin certain Cafes) though not many, thatauthorize a \\ ife*s leaving her Husband,but if any Thing fhort of abfolute Ne-ceflity, from irreclaimable Vice and Cru-elty, prevails with her to break thefefacred and ftrongeft Bonds, how is fheexpos'd to Temptations and Injuries,Contempt, and the juft Cenfure of theWorld. A Woman of Senfe, one fliou'd

think,


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10 Reflectionsthink, could take but little Pleafurc inthe Courtfhip and Flatteries of her Ado-rers, even when Ihe is fingle : But for amarried Woman to admit of Love Ad-dreifes, is woriethan FolLy; it is a Crimefo ridiculous, that I will never believe aWoman of Senfe can be guilty of it.For what does a Man pretend when hewhines and dangles after a married Wo-^man ? Would he have her think he ad-^mires her, when he is treating her withthe laft Contempt ? or that he loves her,when he is trying his Arts to gratify hisbrutal Paflion, at the Price of all that isdear to her ? His line Speeches haveeither no Meaning, or a reproachfulone ; he affronts her Underftanding aswell as her Vertue, if he fancies Ihc can-not difcern, or wants Spirit to refent theInfults. She can look on him no other-i-wife than as the worft of Hypocrites,who flatters to betray, and fawns thathe may ruin ; who is laying Snares toentangle her in a Commerce founded onInjuftice, and Breach of the molt facredVows, carried on by Diilimulation,

Treachery^


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up07i Marriage. \\Treachery, Lyes, and Deceit, attendedwith Fear and Anxiety, Shame, Re-niorfe, the bitter Stings of Guilt, wholefatal Confequences cannot be forefeen,the Icaft of which is the blafting of herHonour. And why all this Mifchief ?Why, bccaufe he profelTcs to think heramiable, and with the blacked: Trea-chery takes Advaiitage of her Weakncfs,and the too good Opinion fhe has enter-tained of him, to render her odious !to render her contemptible to himfelf, aswell as to the World.

Who would be that unhappy Per-fon with all her Grandeur, Wit an4Beauty, who gave Occafion to thcfe Re-Jietiions ? Who would live fo infamoufly,and die {o miferably ? Wha;)ver Apo-logies the Interfiled may invent, whatthey call Gallantry will find a harlhcrName with the Modeft and Difcrcet*Or elfe Gallantry, under whatever Form,niuft pafs for a fcandalous Amufement,not to be allow'd among Perfons of Ver-tue and Honour. It is indeed ridicu-

lous


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12 Reflectionslous to talk of hartnlefs Gallantry; thereis, there can be no fuch Thing : Forbefides the Umbrage and Scandal, aChriftian muft be pure in Heart andEyes ; ihe who has vovv'd her AfFedionsto one, and is his Property, cannot with-out Injuftice, and even Perjury, parcelthem out to more.

I T is in Diftempers of the Mind as inthofe of the Body, a little Care andPrudence will prevent what requires along and difficult Regimen to cureTherefore in both Cafes the Aphorifmholds ; R^Jlft the Beginnings be earlyon our Guard. There was a Time whenthe moll abandoned Sinner would havefhrunk with Horror, at what by De-grees becomes familiar, and, as they fan-cy, natural. The Sap is carryM onagainft Vertue as artfully as againft afortified Town, and the Approaches areas methodical : But in this the Cafe isdifferent, the Befieged cannot fly; where-as Vertue is beft fecured by avoidingthe Enemy. They are fenfiblc of this,and


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upon Marriage^ ijand therefore nothing more commonthan that filly Maxim, Ihaf Vertue isnot Fertile till it has been tried. This isa Mortar-piece that has done more Exe-cution than all their other Arts^ for Self-confidence is always a Prelude to Deftru-6tion. The Wife who liftens to Admi-rers runs into Temptation, and fports up-on a Precipice. For, as a noble Lord,who knew the World perfectly well,inftruds his Daughter, flie may as wellplay with Fire, as dally with Gallantry.I can fay nothing fo well upon this Sub-jed, as what is writ by this noble Au-thor, whom therefore I beg leave totranlcribe

** The ExtravagcVicies of tl: ^ Age" have made Caution more neceflfary ^" and by the fame Reafon that the too" great Licence of ill Men, hath by" Confequence in many I'hings rcftrain^" ed the lawful Liberty of thofe who" did not abufe it, the unjuftifiable" Freedom of feme of your Sex, have


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^4 Reflectiom^" ing reduced. And though this caft*" not fo alter the Nature of Things, as" to make that Criminal^ which in it" felf is Indifferent ; yet if it maketh it" da^jgerouj, that alone is infufficient to" juftify the Refiraintt. A clofe Beha-*' vtour is the fitteft to receive Vertue" for its conftant Giieji^ becaufe there,.-" and there only, it can be fecure. Pro-*' per Referves are the Outworks, and" mull fiever be deferted by thofe who*' intend to keep the Place ; they keep*' off the Poflibility not only of being" take??., but of being attempted ; and if" a Woman feeth Danger at never fo re-" mote a Diftance, fhe is for that Time" to Ihorten her Line of Liberty : She" who will allow her felf to go to the" utmoji Extents of every thing that is" lawful^ is Ho very near going further," that thofe who lie at watch, will be-" gin to count upon her.

*< Mankind, from the double Temp-^* tation of Faulty and Dejire^ is apt to" turn every thing a }Voman doth to

" the


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upon Marriage. tj*' the hopeful Side'^ and there are few*' who dare make an impudent Appli-" cation, till they difcern fomething" which they are willing to take for an*' Rncourageimnt : It is fafer therefore to** prevent fuch Forwardnefs^ than to go" about to cure it : It gathercth Strength" by the firft Allowances^ and claimeth" a Right from having been at any Time" fuffcred with Impunity : Therefore" nothing is with more Care to be" avoided, than fuch a kind of CiviUty'' as may be miftakcn for Invitation. "

I N the Time of Yore a Knave was nomore than a Servant, and polTibly a Gal"lant might originally denote a wcll-drefs'd Coxcomb, who had nothing clfcto do but to make Parade of his Wit andCloaths, and perhaps of his Valour inTournament, to gain the general Admi-ration of the Ladies, and the Honourofopenly profefhng with Refped and Di-ftance, his Veneration for fome celebra-ted Beauty, or Woman of Merit. Butmodern Gallantry is quite a differentBufinefs


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%6 ReflectionsBufinefs : The Gallant, the fine Gentle-man in Town, far fuperior to him uponthe Road and all his Undergraduates, incarrying on his Plot, in the artful Contri-vance of his Defign, and Dexterity inexecuting it, happily combines the Cun-ning of the Fox, and the Audacity of theTyger. Cruel indeed ! for he tears theFame, worries the Vertue, and compleatsthe Deftrudion of his unhappy Prey.'Tis well for him that Ghriftianity as yetprevails among us, for this obliges itsVotaries to forgive the higheft Injuries :Should the Morality of the honeft Hea-then, which fonie are pleas'd to profels,but not to pradife, beccme the Falhion,or the old Englifh Spirit, which hasdone and lufFered fo much for Libertyand Property, revive among us, alaswhat would become of the pretty Fel-lows ? Would they not run the Rifque ofbeing taken for Wolves, or Savages,have a Price fet on their Heads, and beexterminated at any rate, that fo amongrational Perfons we might be elleem'd acivilized Nation ?2 These


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upon Marriage. xyThese Deftroyers avoided, and bet-ter Care taken than ufual in Womens

Education, Marriage might recover theDignity and Felicity of its original In-ftitutien ; and Men be very happy in amarried State, if it be not their ownFault* The great Author of our Be-ing, who does nothing in vain, ordain-ed it as the only honourable Way ofcontinuing our Race ; as a Diftinclionbetween rcafonable Creatures and meerAnimals, into which we degrade ourfelves, by forfaking the Divine Inftitu-tion. God ordained it for a BleHing,not a Curfe : We are foolilh as well aswicked, when that which was appoint-ed for mutual Comfort and Afliftance,has quite contrary EfFcd through ourFolly and Perverfenefs. Marriage there-fore, notwithftanding all the loofe Talkof the Town, the Satires of antient, ormodern Pretenders to Wit, will neverlofe its juft Efteem from the Wife andGood.

G Though


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i8 ReflectionsThough much may be faid againlithis, or that Match ; though the Ridicu-

loufnefs of fome, the Wickednefs ofothers, and the Imprudence of too many,may provoke our Wonder, or Scorn,our Indignation or Pity j yet Marriagein general is too facred to be treated withDifrelped, too venerable to be the Sub-jeft of Raillery and Buffoonery. Nonebut the Impious will pretend to refineon a Divine Inflitution, or fuppofe thereis a better Way for Society and Pofteri-ty. Whoever Icoffs at this, and by odi-ous Reprefentation would polTels themarried Pair with a frightful Idea of eachother, as if a Wife is nothing better thana Domeftick Devil, an Evil he muft to-lerate for his Conveniency ; and an Hus-band muft of neceflity be a Tyrant or aDupe ; has ill Defigns on both, and ishimfelf a dangerous Enemy to the Pub-lick, as well as to private Families.

But upon what are the Satires againftMarriage grounded ? Not upon the State

it


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upon Marriage. Ijfit felf, if they are juft, but upon the illChoice, or foolifh Conduct of thole whoare in it ? and what has Marriage confi-der'd in it felf to do with thefe ? Whenthe Blame is laid where it ought to be,hot Marriage, but inordinate PaflionjRaftinefs, Humour, Pride, Covetouf-nefs, Inconftancy, unjuft vSulpicions, un*'hecelTary Severity, and, in a Word, afilly, vicious, imprudent Choice^ or Gondud, ought to be arraign'd. For whyfhould Marriage be exclaimed againftwhen Men reap the Fruit of their owriFolly ? If they will put an unequalYoke upon their own Necks, they havetheir Choice, who can they blame for it^If inftead of a Help and Comfort, theirCourtfhip has procured them a Plagueand Difgrace, who may they thank butthemfclves : A Man can never be underany fort of Obligation to marry againfthis Liking, but through fomc reigningVice, or want of Fortitude.

Could there be no happy Marriages^Arguments againft Matrimony mightC i h^^^


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20 Reflectionshave their Weight with the Reafonablcas well as the Licentious. But fince theLaws of G o D and Man, founded uponRcafbn and Experience, forbid a Tem-porary Contract, and engage the mar-ried Pair for Life, it is not only pollible,but highly probable, and not withoutmany eminent Inftances, that there areand may be, happy Marriages ; providedwe ad reafonably in our Choice andCondud, acquit our felves like wiieMen and Chriftians. So that all we haveto fay againft Matrimony, ieems onlyto Ihew the Levity, or Impiety of ourown Minds : It is no more than a Flou-lifh of Wit, and how prettily foever wemay talk, it is but little to the Purpofe.

I s it the being tied to One that of-fends us ? Why this ought rather to re-commend it to us, and would really dofo, were we guided by Reafon, andnot by Humour or brutifli Paffion. Hewho does not make Friendfhip the chiefInducement to his Choice, and prefer itbefore any other Gonfideration, does not

deferve


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upon Marriage. 21deferve a good Wife, and thereforefhould not complain if he goes withoutone. Now we can never grow wearyof our Friends ; the longer we have hadthem the more they are endear'd to us ^and if we have One well aflur'd, weneed feek no farther, but are fufHcientlyhappy in her. The Love of Variety inthis and in other Cafes, fhcvvs only theill Temper of our own Mind in that-for inftead of being content with a com-petent Share of Good, thankfully andchearfully enjoying what is afforded us,and patiently bearing with the Inconve-niencies that attend it, wc would fctup our Reft here, and exped Felicitywhere it is not to be found.

The Chriftian Inftitution of Marri-age provides the bcft that may be forDomeftick Quiet and Content, and forthe Education of Children ; fo that ifwe were not under the Tie of Religion,even the Good of Society and civil Duty,would oblige us to what Chrillianity re-q[uires : And fince the very beft of us

C 3 arc


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%z Reflectionsarc but poor frail Creatures, full of Igrnorance and Infirmity, fo that in Jufticewe ought to tolerate each other, and exrercife that Patience towards our Compa-nions to Day, which we fliall give themoccafion to fhew towards us To-morrowthe more we are accuflom'd to any one'sConverfation, the better fliall we under^ftand their Humour, be more able tocomply with their Weaknefs, and Icfsoffended at it. For he who would haveevery one fubmit to his Humours, andivill not in his Turn comply with them,,(though we fhould fuppofe him alwaysin the right, whereas a Man of this Tem-per very feldom is fo) is not fit for aHusband, fcarce fit for Society, butought to be turn'd out of the Herd asan unrcafonablc Creature.

There n;ay indeed be Inconvenien-rcies in a married Life ; but is there anyCondition without them ? And he wholives fingle, that he may indulge Licen-poufncfs and give up himfelf tothe Con-duct of wild and. ungovern*d Defires, (or

indeed


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upon Marriage. zjindeed out of any other Inducement, thanthe Glory of God and the Good of hisSoul, through the Profped he has ofdoing more Good, or becaufc his Frameand Difpofition of Mind are more fit fora fingle than a married Life) may rail ashe pleafes againft Matrimony, but cannever juftify his own Condud, nor clearit from the Imputation of Wickedncisand Folly.

But if Marriage be fuch a blefledState, how comes it, may you lay, thatthere arc lb few happy Marriages ? Nowin anfwer to this, it is not to be won-der'd that fo few fucceed ; we fhould ra-ther be furpriz'd to find fo many do, con-fidering how imprudently Men engage^the Motives they ad by, and the veryItrange Conduct ^hey obferve through^out.

For pray, what do Men propofe tothemfelves in Marriage ? What Qualifi-cations do they look after in a Spoufe ?What will Ihc bring ? is the fir ft EnquiryC 4 How


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upon Marriage. 25has that Man in all his Plenty, who mufteither run from home to poflefs it, con-trary to all the Rules of Juftice, to theLaws of God and Man, nay, even inOppofition to good Nature and goodBreeding too, which fome Men makemore Account of than of all the reft ; orelfe be forc'd to fhare it with a Womanwhofe Perfon or Temper is difagrccablc,whofe Prefence is fufficient to four all hisEnjoyments, fo that if he has any Re-mains of Religion or good Manners, hemuft fuffer the Uneafinefs of a continualWatch, to force himfclf to a conftrain'dCivility ?

Few Men have fo much Goodnefs asto bring themfelves to a Liking of whatthey loath'd, meerly becaufe it is theirDuty to like; on the contrary, whenthey marry with an Indiffercncy, topleafe their Friends or increafe their For-tune, the Indiffercncy proceeds to anAverfion, and perhaps even the Kind-nefs and Complaifanceof the poorabus'dWife, ihall only ferve to increafe it.What


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%6 ReflectionsWhat follows then ? There is no Con-*tent at home, fo it is fought elfewhere,and the Fortune fo unjuftly got, is ascarelefly fquander'd ; the Man takes aLoofe, what fliould hinder him ? He hasall in his Hands, and Cuftom has almofttaken off that fmall Reftraint Reputationus'd to lay. The Wife finds too latewhat was the Idol the Man adored,which her Vanity, perhaps, or it maybe the Commands and Importunities ofRelations, would not let her fee beforeand now he has got That into his Poffef-fion, Ihe mull make Court to him for alittle forry Alimony out of her owaEftate. If Difcretion and Piety pre-vail upon her Paffions, fhe fits downquietly contented with her Lot, feeks noConlblation in the Multitude of Adorers,fince he whom only flie defir'd to pleafe,becaufe it was her Duty to do fo, willtake no Delight in her Wit or Beauty ;She follows no Diverfion to allay herGrief, ufes no Cordials to fupport herSpirit, that may fully her Vertue or bringa Cloud uppn her Reputation ; fhe makes,na


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upon Marriage. 17no Appeals to the mif-judging Croud,hardly mentions her Misfortunes to hermoft intimate Acquaintance, nor lays aLoad on her Husband to eafc her fclfbut would, if it were poHiblc, concealhis Crimes, though her Prudence andVertue give him a thoufand Reproacheswithout her Intention or Knowledge*and retiring from the World, Ihc feeks amore Iblid Comfort than it can give her,taking Care to do nothing that Cenfbri-oufnefs, or even Malice it felf can mil^conftrue to her Prejudice. Now ihcputs on all her Referves, and thinks eveninnocent Liberties fcarce allowable inher difconfolate State ; fhe has other Burfmefs to mind : Nor docs Ihe in her Re-tirements reflect fb much upon the Handthat adminifters this bitter Cup, as coa-fider what is the beft Ufe fhe can makeof it. And thus indeed, Marriage,however unfortunate in other refpcds,becomes a very great Blelling to her.She. might have been expofed to all theTemptations of a plentiful Fortune,have given up her felf to Sloth andLuxury,


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28 ReflectionsLuxury, and gone on at the commoHrate, even of the better Sort, in doingno Hurt, and as little Good : But nowher kind Husband obliges her to Conji-deKy and gives Opportunity to exercileher Vertue he makes it neceflary towithdraw from thofe Gaieties and Plea-fures of Life, which do more Mifchiefunder the Shew of Innocency, than theycould if they appeared attended with aCrime, difcompoling and diflblving theMind, and making it uncapable of anymanner of Good, to be fure ofany thingGreat and Excellent. Silence and Soli-tude, the being forc'd from the ordinaryEntertainments of her Station, may per-haps feem a defolate Condition at firft,and we may allow her, poor weak Wo-man ! to be fomewhat fhock'd at it, finceeven a wife and courageous Man perhapswould not keep his Ground. We wouldconceal (if we could) for the Honour ofthe Sex, Mens being baffled and dispi-rited by a fmaller matter, were not theInftances too frequent and too notorious.

BVT


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upon Marriage^ 29But a little Time wears off all theUneafinefs, and puts her in pofleflion of

Pleafures, which till now ftie has unkind-ly been kept a Stranger to. Affli


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REFLECtiONSImpertinence, to Forms and Ceremony;ihe can fecure her Time, and knows howto improve it^ never truly a happy Wc-man till fhe came, in the Eye of theWorld, to be reckon'd Miferable.

Thus the Husband's Vices maybe-come an Occaiion of the Wife's Vertues^and his Negled do her a more real Goodthan his Kindnefs could. But all injuredWives don't behave themfelves after thisFafliion, nor can their Husbands juftlyexped it. With what Face can *hcblame her for following his Example,-and being as extravagant on the oneHand, as he is on the other ? ThoughIhe cannot juftify her Excelfes to God,-to the World, nor to her Self, yet fure-ly in refpcd of him they may admit ofan Excufe. For to all the reft of hisAbfurdities, (for Vice is always unrea-fonable) he adds one more, who expedsthat Vertue from another which he won'6pradife himfelf

Bt/f


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upon Marriage. 21But fuppofe a Man does not marry

for Money, though for one that doesnot, perhaps there are thoufands thatdo ; fuppofe he marries for Love, anHeroick Action, which makes a mightyNoife in the World, partly becaufe ofits Rarity, and partly in regard of its Ex-travagancy, what does his marrying forhove amount to ? There's no great Oddsbetween his marrying for the Love ofMoney, or for the Love of Beauty ; theMan does not ad according to Reafonin either Cafe, but is governed by irre-gular Appetites. But he loves her Witperhaps, and this, you'll fay, is more Spi-ritual, more Rcfin'd : Not at all, if youexamine it to the Bottom. For what isthat which now a-days paflcs under theName of Wit ? A bitter and ill-natur'dRaillery, a pert Repartee, or a confi-dent talking at all and in fuch a multi-tude of Words, it's Odds if fomething orother does not pafs that is furprizing,though every Thing that furprizes doesnot pleafe j ibme Things being wonder'd

at


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5^ Reflectionsat for their Uglinefs, as well as othersfor their Beauty. True Wit, durft oneventure to defcribc it, is quite anotherThing ; it confifts in fuch a Sprightlinefsof Imagination, fuch a Reach and Turnof Thought, fo properly exprefs'd, asflrikcs and pleafes a judicious Tafte.For though, as one fays of Beauty, V/iin no FacCy but in the Lover^s Mind^ fbit may be faid offome forts of Wit, it isnot in him that fpeaks, but in the Ima-gination of his Hearer ; yet doubtlefsthere is a true Standard-Wit, whichmuft be allowed for fuch by every onewho underftands the Terms. I don'tfay that they lliall all equally like it ; andit is this Standard-wit that always pleafes,the Spurious does fo only for a Seafbn.

Now what is it that ftrikes a judici-ous Tafte ? Not that, to be fure, whichinjures the Abfent, or provokes theCompany, which poilbns the Mind un-der Pretence of entertaining it, proceed-ing from, or giving Countenance to falfeNotions, to dangerous and immoral Prin*

ciplcs..


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upon Marriage. 3}ciplcs. Wit indeed is diftinft fromJudgment, but it is not contrary to it'tis rather its Handmaid, ferving to awa-ken and fix the Attention, that fo wemay judge rightly. Whatever charms,does fo becaufe of its Regularity andProportion ^ otherwife, though it is Ex-traordinary and out of *the Way, it willonly be ftar'd on like a Monfler, butcan never be lik'd. And tho' a Thoughtis ever {o fine and new, ever fo wellexprefs'd, if it fuits not with Decorumand good Manners, it is not juft and fit,and therefore offends our Reafon, andconfequently has no real Charms, norwould afford us any Entertainment, ifour Taftc were not deprav'd.

But it muft not be fuppos'd that Wo-mens Wit approaches thofe Heightswhich Men arrive at, or that they in-dulge thofe Liberties the other take.Decency lays greater Reitraiats on them,their Timoroufnefs does them this one,and perhaps this only Piece of Service,it keeps them from breaking throughD thefe


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34 Reflectionsthefe Reftraints, and following theirMafters and Guides in many of theirdaring and mafculinc Crimes. As theWorld goes, your Witty Men are ufual-ly diftinguifhM by the Liberty they takewith Religion, good A'anners, or theirKeighbours Reputation : But, G o d bethank'd, it is not yet fo bad, as thatWomen ihould form Cabals to propa-gate Atheifm and Irreligion *. A Manthen cannot hope to find a Womanwhofe Wit is of a Size with his, butwhen he doats on Wit, it is to be ima-gin'd he makes Choice of that whichcomes the neareft to his own.

Thus, whether it be Wit or Beautythat a Man's in Love with, there are nogreat Hopes of a ] ailing Happinefs-Beauty, with all the Helps of Art, is ofno long Date j the more it is help'd, theiboner it decays ; and he, who only orchiefly chofe for Beauty, will in a littleTime find the fame Reafon for |notherChoice. Nor is that fort of Wit which

* This yvas rcrotc in tin Beginning of the ^refent Century.he


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upon Marriage. 35he prefers, of a more iure Tenure ; orallowing it to laft, it will not alwayspleafe. For that which has not a realExcellency and Value in it felf, enter-tains no longer than that giddy Humourwhich recommended it to us holds j andwhen we can like on no juft, or on verylittle Ground, *tis certain a Diilike willarife, as lightly and as unaccountably.And it is not improbable that fuch aHusband may in a little Time, by illUfage, provoke fuch a Wife to exercifcher Wit, that is, her Spleen on him,and then it is not hard to guefs howvery agreeable it will be to him.

I N a word, when we have reckonedup how many look no further than themaking of their Fortune, as they call it who don't fb much as propofe to them-felves any Satisfadion in the Woman towhom they plight their Faith, feekingonly to be Mailers of her Eftatc, thatfo they may have Money enough to in-dulge all their irregular Appetites ; whothink they are as good as can be cx-D 2 peeled^


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j6 Reflectionspected, if they are but, according to thefalhionable Term, CivilHusbands ; whenwe have taken the Number of your gid-dy Lovers, who are not more violent intheir Paflion than they are certain torepent of it ; when to thefe you haveadded fuch as marry without anyThought at all, further than that it isthe Cuftom of the World, what othershave done before them, that the Familymull be kept up, the antient Race pre-ferv'd, and therefore their kind Parentsand Guardians choofe as they think con-venient, without ever confulting theYoung one's Inclinations, who muft befatisiied, or pretend fo at leaft, uponI*ainof their Difpleafure, and that heavyConfequence of it. Forfeiture of theirEftate : Thefe fet afide, I fear there willbe but a fmall Remainder to marry outof better Confiderations ; and evenamongft the Few that do, not one in aHundred takes Care to deferve his Choice.

But do the Women never choofeamifs ? Are the Men only in Fault ?

That


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up07j Marriage. ^7That is not "pretended ; for he who w illbejuftj muft be forc'd to acknowledge,that neither Sex are always in the right.A Woman, indeed, can't properly befaid to Choofe ; all that is allowed her,is to Refufe or Accept wh;U is ofFer'd.And when we have made fiich rcalbn-able Allowances as arc due to the Sex,perhaps they may not appear lb muchin Fault as one would at firft imagine,and a generous Spirit will find more Oc-cafion to Pity, than to Reprove. Butlure I tranrgrcfs it muft not be Ihp-posM that the Ladies can do aniifs ! Heis but an ill-bred Fellow who pretendsthat they need Amendment I They arc,no doubt on't, always in the right, andmoft of all when they take Pity on di-ftrcffed Lovers ! Whatever ihQyfey car-ries an Authority that no Reafon canrefift, and all that they do mud needs beExemplary ! This is the Modifh Lan-guage, nor is there a Man of Honouramongft the whole Tribe, that wouldnot venture his Life, nay, and his Sal-vation too, \n their Defence, if any but

I) 3 himfelf


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3? Reflectionshimfelf attempts to injure them. But Imuft ask Pardon if I can't come up tothefe Heights, nor flatter them with thehaving no Faults, which is only a ma-licious Way of continuing and increa-fing their Miftakes.

Women, it's true, ought to be treat-ed with Civility ; for fince a little Cere-mony and out-fide Refped is all theirGuard, all the Privilege that's allow'dthem, it were barbarous to deprive themof it ; and becaufe I would treat themcivilly, I would not orprcfs my Civilityat the ufual rate. I would not, underPretence of Honouring and paying amighty Deference to the Ladies, callthem Fools, or what's worfe, to theirFaces ; For what are all the fine Speechesand Submiflions that are made, but anabufing them in a well-bred Way ? Sheraufl: be a Fool with a Witnefs, who canbelieve a Man, Proud and Vain as he is,will lay his boafted Authority, the Dig-nity and Prerogative of his Sex, oneMoment at her Fcety but in Prolpcd of

taking


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upon Marriage. 39taking it up again to more Advantagehe may call himfelf her Slave a fevvDays, but it is only in order to make'her his all the reft ol" his Life.

Indeed that miftaken Self-Love thatreigns in the moft of us, both Men andWomen, that over-good Opinion we haveof ourfelves, and Dcfire that others ihouldhave of us, makes us fwallow everyThing that looks like Refpcd, withoutexamining how wide it is from what itappears to be. For nothing is in Trutha greater Outrage than Flattery andfcign'd Submiilions ; the phin E>/g///?:? ofwhich is this, " I have a very mean" Opinion both of your Undcrftanding^' and Vcrtue you are Weak enough to" be impos'd on, and Vain enough to" fnatch at the Bait I throw ; there's no" Danger of your finding out myMean-" ing, or difappointing me of my Ends." I offer you Incenfe^ 'tis true, but you*' are like to pay for't, and to make me" a Rccompcnce for your Folly, in inia-" gining I would give my felf this Trou-D 4 " ble,


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40 Refbections" ble, did I not hope, nay, were I not" fure, to find my own Account in it." If for nothing elfe, you'll ferve at" leaft as an Exercife of my Wit ; and'- how much foever you fwell with" my Breath, *tis I dcferve the Praife for" talking fo well on fo poor a Subject," We, who make the Idols, are the" greater Deities ; and as we fet you up," fo it is in our Power to reduce you to" your firft Obfcurity, or to fomewhat" worfc, to Contempt ; you arc there-'' fore only on your good Behaviour," and are like to be no more than what*'"' we pleafe to make you. '* This isthe Flatterer's Language afide, this isthe true Senfe of his Heart, whatever hisGrimace may be before the Company.A N D if this be the true Meaning of

honourable Courtlhip, what is meant bythat Jargon, that Profufion of JLove andAdmiration which palTcs fof Gallantry,when either of the parties are married ?Is it not the utmoft Scurrihty, in thatit fuppofes fhe is, or that he hopes tomake


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upon Marriage. 41make her, what good Manners forbids toname ? And fince he makes fo free withthe Lady's Honour, can Ihe afford hima civiller Anfwer, than what her Foot-man may dehver with a Crab-tree? ButI corred my felf, this might be theAir of a haughty Roman Prude ; ourBrlttJJj Beauties are far more Gentle andWell-bred. And he who has the fameDefigns upon other Mens Relations, isfometimes fo civil as to bear with theOutrages offcr'd to his own.*t>^

Not but that 'tis pofTible, and fome-times Matter of Fad, to exprefs ourfelves beyond the Truth in Praife of aPerfon, and yet not be guilty of Flat-tery; but then we muft Think whatwe Say, and Mean what we Profefs.We may be fo blinded by fonie Paflionor other, efpecially Love, which in Ci-vil and Good-natur'd Perfons is apt toexceed, as to believe fome Perfons moredefcrving than really they are, and topay them greater Rcfpcct and Kindnefsthan is in Striclnefs due to them. Butthis is not the prefent Cafe ; for our line

Speech-


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ReflectionsSpeech-makers doat too much on them-felves to have any great Paflion foranother. Their Eyes are commonly toomuch fix'd on their own Excellencies, toview another's good Qualities through aMagnifying-Glafs ; at lea ft if ever theyturn that End of tbe Perfpedive towardstheir Neighbours, 'tis only in Refpedand Reference to themfelves. They aretheir own Centres, they find a Difpro-portion in every Line that does not tendthither, and in the next Vifit they make,you fhall hear all the fine Things theyhad faid, repeated to the new Object,and nothing remembred of the formerbut her Vanity, orlbmething elfe as ri-diculous, which lerves for a Foil, or aWhet to Difcourfe. For let there beever fo many Wits in the Company,Converfation would languiih, and theywould be at a Lofs, did not a little Cen-forioufnefs come in at a Need to helpthem.

Let us then treat the Ladies as ci-villy as may be, but let us not do it by

Flatter-


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iip07i Marriage. 4^Flattering them, but by endeavouringto make them fuch as may truly delerveour hearty Efteem and Kindnels. Menought really for their own Sakes, to dowhat in them lies to make Women Wileand Good, and then it might be hopedthey themfelves woirid efFcclually Studyand Pradice that Wifdom and Vertue .they recommend to others. But fb longas Men, even the bcft of them, who donot outrage the Women they pretend toadore, have bafe and unworthy Ends toferve, it is not to be expeded that theyfhould confent to fuch Methods as wouldcertainly difippoint them. They wouldhave their own Relations do well it istheir Intereft : but it fometimes happensto be for their Turn that another Man'sfliould not, and then their Generofityfails them, and no Man is apter to findFault with another's difhonourable Ani-ons, than he who is ready to do, or per-haps has done the fime\himfelf.

And as Men have little Reafon to ex-pect Happiiicfs when they marry only

for


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44 Reflectionsfor the Love of Money, Wit, or Beauty,as has been aheady ftiewn, fo much lefscan a Woman expect a tolerable Life,when fhe goes upon thefe Confiderati-ons. Let the Bufinefs be carried asprudently as it can be on the Woman'sSide, a reafonable Man can't deny thatftie has by much the harder Bargain : Jbecaibfe fhe puts her felf intirely into herHusband's Power, and if the Matrimo-nial Yoke be grievous, neither Law norCuftom afford her that Redrefs which aMan obtains. He who has SovereignPower does not value the Provocations ofa Rebellious Subjed ; he knows how tofubdue him with Eafe, and will makehimfelf obeyed : But Patience and Sub-miffion are the only Comforts that areleft to a poor People, who groan underTyranny, unlefs they are Strong enoughto break the Yoke, to Depofe and Ab-dicate, which, 1 doubt, would not beallow'd of here. For whatever may befilid againfl PafTivc-Obedience in anotherCafe, I fuppofe there's no Man but likesk very well in this j how much foever

Arbi-


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upon Marriage. 45-Arbitrary Power may be diflik'd on aThrone, not Miitou, nor , H , norany of the Advocates of Refiftance,would cry up Liberty to poor FemaleSlaves^ or plead for the Lawfulnefs ofRefining a private Tyranny.

I F there be a Difagreeablcnefs of Hu-mours, this, in my Mind, is harder tobe born than greater Faults, as being acontinual Plague, and for the moft Partincurable. Other Vices a Man may growweary of, or may be convinced of theEvil of them, he may forfake them, orthey him, but his Humour and Temperare feldom, if ever, put off. Ill-natureflicks to him from his Youth to his greyHairs, and a Boy that's Humorous andProud, makes a Peevifh, Pofitive, andInfolent Old Man. Now if this be theCafe, and the Husband be full of Him-felf, obftinately bent on his own Way,with or without Realbn, if he be onewho mull be always Admired, alwaysHumour'd, and yet fcarce knows whatwill pleafe him ; if he has Profperity

enough


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4


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upon Marriage. ^7Language, is in a fairer Way of beingconvinc'd of his Folly, and brought toReafon, than the Proud, Conceited Man. .That Man, indeed, can never be goodat Heart, who is full of Himfelf and hisown Endowments : Not that it is necef^fary, becaufe it is not poffible (human-ly fpeaking) for one to be totally igno-rant of his own good Qualities, I hadalmoft faid, he ought to have a modeftSenfe of *em, othcrwife he can't be dulythankful, nor make the Ufe of them thatis required, to the Glory of God, andthe Good of Mankind ; but he viewsthem in a wrong Light, if he difcernsany Thing that may exalt him above hisNeighbours, make him over-look theirMerit, or treat them with Negled orContempt. He ought to behold themwith Fear and Trembling, as Talentswhich he has freely receiv'd, and forwhich he is highly Accountable, andtherefore they fhould not excite his Pride,but his Care and Induftry.

And


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ReflectionsAnd if Pride and Self-conceit keep aMan who has fome good Qualities, and

is not fo bad as the moft of his Neigh-bours, frpm growing better, it for cer-tain confirms and hardens the Wickedin his Crimes, it fets him up for a Wit,that is, according to modern Accepta-tion, one who rallies all that is ferious, aContemner of the Priefts firft, and thenof the Deity Himfelf. For Penitenceand Self-condemnation are what hisHaughtinefs cannot bear, and lince hisCrimes have brought upon him the Re-proaches of his own Mind, fince he willnot take the regular Way to be rid ofthem, which is, by Humbling himfelf,and making his Peace with Heaven, hebids Defiance to it, and wou'd, if hecould, believe there is no future State, noAfter-retribution, becaule he has toojuft Reafon to fear it.

If therefore it be a Woman's hardFate to meet with a difagreeable Tem-per, and of all others, the Haughty,Impe-


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tipon Marriage. 45^Imperious, and Self-conceited are themoft fo, ihe is as unhappy as any Thingin this World can make her. For whena Wife's Temper does not pleafe, if fhemakes her Husband uneafy, he can findEntertainments Abroad ; he has a hun-dred Ways of relieving himfelf; butneither Prudence nor Duty will allow aWoman to fly out : her BufincTs and En-tertainment are at home ; and tho' hemakes it ever i^o uneafy to her, fhe muftbe content, and make her beft on't. Shewho eleds a Monarch for Life, whogives him an Authority, fhe cannot re-call, however he mifapply it, who putsher Fortune and Perfbn entirely in hisPower, nay, even the very Defires of herHeart, according to fomc learned Ca-fuifts, lb as that it is not lawful to Willor Defire any Thing but what he ap-proves and allows, had need be very furethat fhe does not make a Fool her Head,nor a Vicious Man her Guide and Pat-tern ; file had beft ftay till Ihe can meetwith one who has the Government of hisown Palfions, and has duly regulated hisE own


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5^ Reflectionsown Defires, fince he is to have luchan abfolute Power over hers. Buthe who doats on a Face, he who makesMoney his Idol, he who is charm'd withvain and empty Wit, gives no fuch Evi-dence, either of Wifdom or Goodnefs,that a Woman of any tolerable Senfelhou*d care to venture her felf to hisCondud.

Indeed, your fine Gentleman's Ani-ons are now a-days fuch, that did notCuftom and the Dignity of his Sex giveWeight and Authority to them, a Wo-man that thinks twice might blefs herfelf, and fay. Is this the Lord and Ma-iler to whom I am to promife Love,Honour and Obedience ? W^hat can bethe Objed of Love but amiable Quali-ties, the Image of the Deity imprefs'dupon a generous and godUke Mind, aMind that is above this World, to befure above all the Vices, the Tricks andBafenefs of it ; a Mind that is not fullof it felf, nor contraded to little privateInterefts, but which, in Imitation of

that


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upon Marriage. . j Ithat glorious Pattern it endeavours tocopy after, expands and difFufes it felfto its utmoft Capacity in doing Good.But this fine Gentleman is quite of ano-ther Strain, he is the Reverfe of this inevery Inftance. He is, I confcfs, veryfond of his own Dear Perfon, he feesvery much in it to admire j his Air andMien, his Words and Actions, everyMotion he makes, declare it but theymuft have a Judgment of his Size, everywhit as fhallow, and a Partiality as greatas his own, who can be of his Mind.How then can I Love ? And if not Love,much lefs Honour. Love may arifefrom Pity, or a generous Defire to makethat Lovely which as yet is not fo, whenwe fee any hopes of Succefs in our En-deavours of improving it ; but Honourfuppofcs fome excellent Qiialiti


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5^ Reflectionsceremonious Obfervancc muft be paidfor Order's fake, there's nothing in himthat can command our Refped. Striphim of Equipage and Fortune, and fuchThings as only dazle our Eyes and Ima-ginations, but don't in any meafure af-fed our Reafon, or caufe a Reverencein our Hearts, and the poor Creaturefinks beneath our Notice, becaufe notfupported by real Worth. And if aWoman can neither Love nor Honour,fhe does ill in promifing to Obey, fincefhe is like to have a crooked Rule to re-gulate her Adions.

A M E E R Obedience, fuch as is paidonly to Authority, and not out of Loveand a Senfe of the Juftice and Reafon-ablcnefs of the Command, will be of anuncertain Tenure. As it can't but beuneafy to the Perfon who pays it, ib hewho receives it will be fometimes difap-pointed when he expeds to find it : Forthat Woman muft be endow'd with aWifdom and Goodnefs much above whatwe fuppofe the Sex capable of, I fear

much


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jipon Marriage. 53much greater than any Man can pretendto, who can ^o conftantly conquer herPallions, and divert her felf even of In-nocent Self-love, as to give up theCaufe when Ihe is in the Right, and tofubmit her inlightned Rcafon, to theimperious Dictates of*a blind Will, andwild Imagination, even when llie clearlyperceives the ill Conlequences of it, theImprudence, nay. Folly and Madnefs offuch a Condud.And if a Woman runs fuch a Rifque

when fhe marries prudently, accordingto the Opinion of the World, that is,when fhe permits her fclf to be difpos'dof to a Man equal to her in Birth, Edu-cation and Fortune, and as good as themoft of his Neighbours, (for if nonewere to marry, but Men of ftricl Vertueand Honour, I doubt the World wouldbe but thinly Peopled) if at the verybefther Lot is hard, what can fhe expectwho is Sold, or any otherwife betray'dinto mercenary Hands, to one who is inall, or moft refpects, unequal to her ?

E 3 A


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54 ReflectionsA Lover who comes upon what is call*dequal Terms, makes no very advanta-geous Propofal to the Lady he courts,and to whom he feems to be an humbleServant. For under many foundingCompHments, Words that have nothingin them, this is his true Meaning- Hewants one to manage his Family, anHoufe-keeper, one whofe Intereft it willbe not to wrong him, and in whomtherefore he can put greater Confidencethan in any he can hire for Money. Onewho may breed his Children, taking allthe Care and Trouble of their Educa-tion, to preferve his Name and Family.One whofe Beauty, Wit, or good Hu-mour and agreeable Converfation, willentertain him at Home when he has beencontradided and difappointed Abroadwho will do him that Juflice the ill-na-tur'd World denies him ; that is, in anyone's Language but his own, footh hisPride and flatter his Vanity, by havingalways fo much good Senfe as to be onhis Side, to conclude him in the Right,when others arc fo ignorant, or fo rude3

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upon Marriage. 55as to deny it. Who will not be blindto his Merit nor contradict his Will andPlealure, but make it her Bufinefs, hervery Ambition to content him ; whofeSoftnels and gentle Compliance will calmhis Pailions, to whom he may fafely dil^clofe his troublefome Thoughts, and inher Breaft dilcharge his Cares wholeDuty, .Subniillion and Oblervance, willheal thofc Wounds other Peoples Oppo-fition or Negled have given him. In aword, one whom he can intirely Govern,and confequently may form her to hisWill and Liking, who muft be his forLife, and therefore cannot quit his Ser-vice, let him treat her how he will.And if this be what every Man ex-

pects, the Sum of his violent Love andCourtfliip, w hen it is put into Senfe, andrendred Intelligible, to what a line palsdoes flic bring her felf who purchafes aLord and Mailer, not only with herMoney, but with what is of greaterValue, at the Price of her Difcretion!W ho has not fo much as that poor Ex-K 4 cufc,


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6 Reflectionscufe, Precedent and Example ; or if fliehas, they are only fuch as all the Worldcondemns? She will not find him lefs aGovernor becaufe ihe was once his Su-perior, on the contrary, the Scum of thePeople are moft Tyrannical when theyget the Power, and treat their Betterswith the greateft Infolence. For, as thewife Man long fince obferv'd, A Servantwhen he Reigns, is one of thofe Thingsfor which the Earth is difquieted, andwhich no body is able to bear.

I T is the hardcft Thing in the Worldfor a Woman to know that a Man is notMercenary, that he does not act on bafeand ungenerous Principles, even when heis her Equal, becaufe being abfolute Ma-iler, fhe and all the Grants he makes herare in his Power, and there have beenbut too many Inftances of Husbands,that by wheedling, or threatning theirWives, by feeming Kindncfs, or cruelUfagc, have perfuaded, or forc'd themout of what has been fettled on them,So that the Woman has in Truth no Se-

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tipon M A R R I A. G E. 57curity but the Man's Honour and Good-nature, a Security that in this prefentAge no wife Perfon would venture muchupon. A Man enters into Articles veryreadily before Marriage, and fo he may,for he performs no more of them after-wards than he thinks fit. A Wife muftnever difpute with her Husband ; hisReafons are now, no doubt on't, betterthan hers, whatever they were before he is fure to pcrfuade her out of herAgreement, and bring her, it muft befuppos'd, frU/ingfyy to give up whatIhe did vainly hope to obtain, and whatIhe thought had been made fure to her.And if fhe fhews any Refradorinels,there are Ways enough to humble herfo that by Right or Wrong the Husbandgains his Will. For Covenants betweenHusband and Wife, like Laws in an Ar-bitrary Government, are of little Force,the Will of the Sovereign is All in All.Thus it is in Matter of Fad, I will notanfwer for the Right of it j for if theWoman's Reafons, upon which thofeAgreements are grounded, are not juft

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5 Reflectionsand good, why did he confent to them ?Was it becaufe there was no other Wayto obtain his Suit, and with an Intentionto annul them when it fhall be in hisPower ? Where then is his Sincerity ?But if her Reafons are good, where ishis Juftice in obliging her to quit them ?He neither way ads like an equitable orhonell Man.

But when a Woman marries unequal-ly and beneath her felf, there is almoftDemonftration that the Man is fordidand unfair that inftead of loving herhe only loves himfelf, trapans and ruinsher to ferve his own Ends. For if hehad not a mighty Opinion of himfelf,(which Temper is like to make an ad-mirable Husband) he would never ima-gine that his Perfon and good Qualitiescould make Compenfation for all the Ad-vantages fhe quits on his Account. Ifhe had a real Efteem for her, or valuedher Reputation, he would not expole it,nor have her Difcretion call'd in Que-ftion for his fake j and if he truly lov'd

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upon Marriage. 59her, he would not reduce her to Straitsand a narrow Fortune, nor fo much as lef-fen her way of Living to better his own.For fince God has placed different Ranksm the World, put fome in a higher,and fome in a lower Station, for Orderand Beauty's fake, and for many goodReafons ; though it is both our Wifdomand Duty not only to fubmit wicji Pa-tience, but to be thankful and well-fa-tisiied, when by his Providence we arebrought low, yet there is no manner ofReafon for us to degrade our fclvcs j onthe contrary, much why we ought not.The better our Lot is in this World,and the more we have of it, the greateris our Leifure to prepare for the next jwe have the more Opportunity to exer-cife that God-like Qiiality, to tafte thatDivine Pleafure, doing Good to the Bo-dies and Souls of thole beneath us. Is itnot then ill Manners to Heaven, and anirreligious Contempt of its Favours, fora Woman to flight that nobler Employ-ment, to which it has ailign'd her, andthruft her fclf down to a meaner Drud-


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Co Reflectionsgery, to what is in the 'very literal Senfea caring for the Things of the World, acaring not only to Plcafe, but to Main-tain a Husband ?

And a Husband fo chofen will not atall abate of his Authority and Right toGovern, whatever fair Promifes he mightmake before. She has made him herHead, and he thinks himfelf as wellqualified as the Beft to ad accordingly,nor has fhe given him any fuch Evidenceof her Prudence as may difpofe him tomake an Ad of Grace in her Favour.Beiides, great Obligations are what Su-periors cannot bear, they are more thancan be returned; to acknowledge wereonly to reproach themfelves with Ingra-titude, and therefore the readicft Wayis, not to own, but overlook them, orrather, as too many do, to repay themwith Atfronts and Injuries.

What. then is to be done ? How mulla Man choofe, and what Qualities muftincline a Woman to accept, that fo our

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upon Marriage. ^imarried Couple may be as happy as thatState can make them ? This is no hardQueftion; let the Soul be principallyconfider'd, and Regard had in the firftplace to a good Underftanding, a ver-tuous Mind; and in all other refpcdslet there be as much Equality as maybe. If they are good Chriftians and offuitable Tempers all will be well; but Ifhould be ihrewdly tempted to fulpedtheir Chriftianity who marry after anyof thofe Ways we have been fpeakingof. I dare venture to fay, that theydon't ad according to the Precepts ofthe Gofpel, they neither Ihew the Wif-dom of the Serpent, nor the Innocencyof the Dove; they have neither fo muchGovernment of themfelves, nor fo much iCharity for their Neighbours ; theyneither take fuch Care not to fcandalizeothers, nor to avoid Temptations them-felves, are neither fo much above thisWorld, nor fo alfcclcd \ith the next,as they would certainly be, did theChri-ftian Religion operate in their Hearts,did they rightly underftand, andfincerely

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6i Reflectionspraflife it, or adcd i^ideed according tothe Spirit of the Gofpel.

But it is not enough to enter wifelyinto this State, Care muft be taken ofour Conduct afterwards. A Womanwill not want being admonilh'd of herDuty ; the Cuftom of the World, Oeco-nomy, every Thing almoft reminds herof it. Governors do not often fuffertheir Subjects to forget Obedience throughtheir want of demanding it ; perhapsHusbands are but too forward on thisOccafion, and claim their Right oftnerand more imperioufly than either Dis-cretion or good Manners will juftify,and might have both a more chearfuland conftant Obedience paid them ifthey were not fo rigorous in exading it.For there is a mutual Stipulation, andLove, Honour, and Worlhip, by whichcertainly Civility and Refped at leaftare meant, are as much the Woman'sDue, as Love, Honour and Obedienceare the Man's. And being the Womanis faid to be the weaker Veflel, the Man

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' upon Marriage. (,->fiiould be more careful not to grieve oroffend her. Since her Rcafon is fuppos'dto be lels, and her Paffions ftronger thanhis, he fhould not give Occafion to callthat Suppofition in Qiieftion by his pet-tifh Carriage and needlefs Provocations.Since he is the Maif^ by which veryword Cuftom would have us underftandnot only greateft Strength of Body, buteven greateft Firmnefs and Force ofMind, he Ihould not play the little Ma^fler fo much as to exped to be cocker'd,nor run over to that Side which the Wo-man us'd to be rank'd in ; for, accord-ing to the Wifdom of the Italians^ Willyou? IsJpoken to Jtck Folks.

Indeed Subjection, according to thecommon Notion of it, is not over eafynone of us, whether Men or Women,but have fo good an Opinion of our ownConduct, as to believe we are fit, if notto direct others, at leaft to govern ourlelves. Nothing but a found Under-ftanding, and Grace, the beft Improverof Natural Reafon, can corred this Opi-

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(5^ Reflectionsnion, truly humble us, and heartily re-concile us to Obedience. This bitterCup therefore ought to be fweetned asmuch as may be ; for Authority may bepreferv'd and Government kept invio-lable, without that naufeous Oftentationof Power, which ferves to no End orPurpofe, but to blow up the Pride andVanity of thofe who have it, and to ex-afperate the Spirits of fuch as muft truc-kle under it.

Insolence is never the EfFed ofPower but in weak and cowardly Spi-rits, who wanting true Merit and Judg-ment to fupport themfelves in that Ad-vantageous Ground on which they ftand,are ever appealing to their Authority,and making; a Shew of it to maintaintheir Vanity and Pride. A truly greatMind, and fuch as is fit to Govern, tho'it may ftand on its Right with its Equals,and modeftly exped what is due to iteven from its Superiors, yet it never con-tends with its Inferiors, nor makes uieof its Superiority but to do them Good.

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upon Marriage. 6^So that confidering the juft Dignity ofMan, his great Wifdom {o confpicuouson all Occafions ! the Goodnefs of hi3Temper, and Realbnablenefs of all hisCommands, which make it a Woman'sIntereft as well as Duty to be obfervantand obedient in all Things ; that his Pre-rogative is fettled by an undoubted Rightand the Prefcription of many Ages ; itcannot be fuppos'd, that he fhould makefrequent and inlblent Claims of an Au-thority fo well eftablifh'd and us'd withfuch Moderation, nor give an impartialBy-ftander (could fuch an one be found)any Occafion from thence to fufped thathe is inwardly confcious of the Badnelsof his Title \ Ufurpers being alwaysmoft defirous of Recognitions, and bufyin impofing Oaths, whereas a LawfulPrince contents himfelf with the ufualMethods and Securities.And fince Power does naturally pufF

up, and he who finds himfelf exalted,feldom fails to think he ought to be ib^it is more fuitable to a Man's WifdomF and


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66 Reflectionsand Generofity, to be mindful of hisgreat Obligations, than to infift on hisRights and Prerogatives. Sweetnefs ofTemper and an obliging Carriage are fojiiftly due to a Wife, that a Husbandwho muft not be thought to want citherUnderftanding to l^now what is fit, norGoodnefs to perform it, can't be fup-pos'd not to fhew them. For fettingafide the Hazard of her Perfonto keep uphis Name and Family, with all the Painsand Trouble that attend it, which maywell be thought great enough to deferveall the Relped and Kindnefs that maybe 5 fetting this afide, though 'tis veryconfiderable, a Woman has ib much theDifadvantage in moff^ I was about tofay, in all Things, that fhe makes a Manthe greateft Compliment in the Worldwhen fhe condefcends to take him forBetter for Worfe. She puts her felf in-tirely in his Power, leaves all that is dearto her, her Friends and Family, toefpoufe his Interefts and follow his For-tune, and makes it herBufinefsand Dutyto pleafe him ! W^hat Acknowledgments,what


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upon Marriage. 67what Returns can he make ? What Gra-titude can be fufficient for fuch Obliga-tions? She ftiews her good Opinion ofhim by the great Truil: Ihc repoles inhim, and what a Brute muft he be whobetrays that Truft, or ads any way un-worthy of it ? Ingratitude is one of thebafeft Vices, and if a Man's Soul is funkfo low as to be guilty of it towards herwho has {b gcneroufly oblig'd him, andwho fo intirely depends on him, if hecan treat her difrefpedfully, who hasfo fully tellified her Efteem of him, Ihemuft have a Stock of \ ertue which hefhould blufh to difcern, if fhe can payhim that Obedience of which he is foUnworthy.

Superiors indeed are too apt to for-get the common Privileges of iMankind ;that their Inferiors Ihare with them thegreateft Benefits, and are as capable asthemfelves of enjoying the fupremeGood;that though the Order of the World re-quires an Outward Refped and Obedi-ence from fome to others, yet the iMindF 2 is


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68 Reflectionsis free, nothing but Reafon can obligeit, 'tis out of the Reach of the moft ab-folute Tyrant. Nor will it ever be welleither with thofe who Rule or thofe inSubjedion, even from the Throne toevery private Family, till thofe in Au-thority look on themfelves as plac'd inthat Station for the Good and Improve-ment of their Subjeds, and not for theirown Sakes ; not as the Reward of theirMerit, or that they may profecute theirown Defires and fulfil all their Pleafure,but as the Reprefentatives of God, whomthey ought to imitate in the Juftice andEquity of their Laws, in doing Goodand communicating Bleilings to all be-neath them : By which, and not by fol-lowing the imperious Didates of theirown Will, they become truly Great andIlluftrious, and worthily fill their Place,And the Governed for their Part, ceafingto envy the Pomp and Name of Autho-rity, fhould refpecl their Governors asplaced in G o d's ftead, and contributewhat they can to eafe them of their realCares, by a chearful and ready Com-

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upon Marriage. 69pliance, with their good Endeavours,and by affording them the Pleafure ofSuccefs in fuch noble and generous De-figns.

For, upon a due Eftimate, Things arcpretty equally divided ; thofe in Sub-jedion, as they have a lefs Glorious, fbthey have an eafier Task and a lefs Ac-count to give ; Whereas he who Com-mands, has in a great meafure the Faultsof others to anfwer for as well as his own.'Tis true, he has the Pleafure of doingmore Good than a private- Peribn can,and fhall receive the Reward of it whenTime fhall be no more, in Compenfationfor the Hazards he runs, the Difficultieshe at prefent encounters, and the largeAccount he is to make hereafter. WhichPleafure and Reward are highly defira-ble, and mofl worthy our Purfuit butthey are Motives which fuch as Ufurpon their Governors, and make them un-eafy in the due Difcharge of their Duty,never propofe. As for thofe other littleThings that move their Envy and Am-F 3 bition,


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^o Reflectionsbition, they are of no Efteeni with a juftConfiderer, nor will fuch as violentlypurfue, find their Account in them.

But how can a Man refpe^t his Wifewhen he has a contemptible Opinion ofher and her Sex ? When from his ownElevation he looks down on them asvoid of Underftanding, full of Igno-rance and Paflion, fo that Folly and aW^oman are equivalent Terms with him?Can he think there is any Gratitude dueto her whofe utmoft Services he exactsas ftrid Duty ? Becaufe ftie was made tobe a Slave to his Will, and has nohigher End than to Serve and Obeyhim ? Perhaps we arrogate too much toour felves, when we fay this MaterialWorld was made for our Sakes : Thatits Glorious Maker has given us the Ufeof it is certain ^ but when we fuppofeany Thing to be made purely for ourSakes, becaufe we have Dominion overit, we draw a falfe Conclufion. As hewho Ihould fay the People were madefor the Prince who is fet over them,

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Zip07t Marriage. 71would be thought to be out of his Sen-fes as well as his Politicks. Yet evenallowing that God, who made everyThing in Number, Weight and Mea-fure, who never ads but for fome greatand glorious End, an End agreeable toHis Majefty ; allowing that He createdfucha Number of Rational Spirits mere-ly to ferve their Fellow Creatures, yethow are thele Lords and Mafters help'dby the Contempt they fhew of their poorhumble VafFals ? Is it not rather an Hin-drance to that Service they expect, asbeing an undeniable and conftant Proofhow unworthy they are to receive it ?

None of God*s Creatures, ablblutelyconfider'd, are in their own Nature con-temptible y the meaneft Fly, the pooreftInfecl has its Ufe and Yertue. Contemptis fcarce a Human Paflion, one may ven-ture to fay it was not in innocent Man,for till Sin came into the World, therewas nothing in it to be contemned. ButPride, which makes every Thing fcrveits Purpofes, wrefted this Paffion from

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72 Reflectionsits only Ufc, fo that inftead of being aiiAntidote againft Sin, it is become agrand Promoter of it, nothing making usmore worthy of that Contempt we ftiew,than when, poor, weak, dependent Crea-tures as we are !' we look down withScorn and Difdain on others.There is not afurerSign ofa noble

Mind, a Mind very far advanced to-wards Perfection, than the being able tobear Contempt and an unjuft Treatmentfrom one's Superiors evenly and patient-ly. For inward Worth and real Excel-lency are the true Ground of Superiori-ty, and one Perfon is not in reality bet-ter than another, but as he is more Wifeand Good. But this World being aPlace of Trial, and governed by gene-ral Laws, juft Retributions being re-ferv'd for hereafter, Refped and Obe-dience many times become due for Or-der's fake, to thofe who don't otherwifedeferve them. Now tho' Humility keepsus from over-valuing our felves or view-ing our Merit through a falfe and m^ag-

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upon Marriage. 7jnifying Mediim^ yet it does not put outour Eyes, it does not, it ought not todeprive us of that plcafing Sentimentwhich attends our Ading as wc ought toAd:, which is, as it were, a ForctafteofHeaven, our prelent Reward for doingwhat is juft and iit. ' And when a Su-perior does a mean and unjuft thing, asall Contempt of one's Neighbour is, andyet this does not provoke his Inferiorsto refufc that Obfervance which theirStations in the World require, theycannot but have an inward Senfe of theirown real Superiority, the other havingno Pretence to it, at the fame Time thatthey pay him an outward Refped andDeference, which is fuch a flagrant Te-ftimony of the fincereft Love of Order,as proves their Souls to be of the highcftand nobleft Rank.

A Man therefore for his own fake,and to give Evidence that he has a Rightto thofe Prerogatives he affumes, Ihouldtreat Women with a little more Huma-nity and Regard than is ufually paid

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f4 Reflectionsthem. Your whifling Wits may fcofFatthem, and what then? It matters not,for they rally every Thing though everfo facred, and rail at the Women com-monly in very good Company. Reli-gion, its Priefts, and thofe its moft con-ftant and regular Profeflbrs, are the ufualSubjects of their manly, mannerly andfurprizing Jefts. Surprizing indeed !not for the Newnefs of the Thought, theBrightnefs of the Fancy, or Noblenefs ofExpreflion, but for the good Affurancewith which fuch Thread-bare Jefts areagain and again repeated. But that yourgrave Dons, your learned Men, and,which is more, your Men of Senfe, asthey would be thought, Ihould ftoop folow as to make Invectives againft theWomen, forget themfelves fo much asto jeft with their Slaves, who have nei-ther Liberty, nor Ingenuity to makeReprizals ^ that they Ihould wafte theirTime, and debafe their good Senle,which fits them for the moft weightyAffairs, fuch as are fuitable to their pro-found Wifdom and exalted Underftand-

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upon Marriage. f5Jng5 ! to render thofe poor Wretches,more ridiculous and odious who are al-ready in their Opinion fufficiently con-,temptible, and find no better Exercifeof their Wit and Satire, than fuch as arenot worth their Pains, though it werepoiTible to Reform them, this, this in-,deed may juftiy be wondrcd at

I Know not whether or no Womenare allow'd to have Souls ; if they have,perhaps it is not prudent to provokethem too much, left, filly as they are, theyat laft recriminate, and then what polite^nd well-bred Gentleman, though him-felf is conccrn'd, can forbear taking thatlawful Pleafure, which all who under-ftand Raillery muft taftc, when theyfind his Jefts who infolently began topeck at his Neighbour, rcturn'd withIntereft upon his own Head ? And in-deed Men are too Humane, too Wife,to venture at i^, did they not hope forthis EfFcd, and expect the Pleafure offinding their Wit turn to fuch AccountFor if it be lawful to pry into a Secret,

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yd Reflectionsthis is, without doubt, the whole Dc-figa of thofe fine Difcourfes which havebeen made againft the Women from ourgreat Fore-Fathers to this prefent Time \Generous Man has too much Bravery, heis too Juil and too Good to affault a de-fencelefs Enemy, and if he d d inveighagainft the Women, it was only to dothem Service ! For fince neither his Careof their Education, his hearty Endea-vours to improve their Minds, his whole-fome Precepts, nor great Example coulddo them good, as his laft and kindeft Ef-fay, he refolv'd to try what Contemptwould do, and chofe rather to expofehimfelf by a feeming Want of Juftice,Equity, Ingenuity and Good-nature,than fufFer Women to remain fuch vainand infignificant Creatures as they havehitherto been reckoned ; and truly, Wo-men are fome Degrees beneath what Ihave thus far thought them, if they donot make the beft Ufe of his Kindnefs,improve themfelves, and, like Chriftians,return it.

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upon Marriage. 27Let us fee then what is their Part,

what miift they do to make the Matri-monial Yoke tolerable to themfelves aswell as pleafing to their Lords and Ma-ilers ? That the World is an empty anddeceitfiil Thing, that 'thole Enjoymentswhich appear'd fo defirable at a Diftance,which rais'd our Hopes and Expectationsto fiich a mighty Pitch, which we lbpaffionately coveted, and fo eagerly pur-fued, vanifh at our lirft Approach, leav-ing nothing behind them but the Follyof Delufion, and the Pain of difappoint-ed Hopes, is a common Outcry ^ andyet, as common as it is, though we com-plain of being deceived this Inftant, wedo not fail of contributing to the Cheatthe very next. Though in reality it isnot the World that abufes us, 'tis weabufe our

Astell Mary Some Reflections Upon Marriage, Occasion'd by the Duke and Dutchess of Mazarine's Case Astell

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