Sep 13, 2014
ObjectivesHistory of AssertivenessDefine what is AssertivenessAssertive BehaviorTen Points about Assertive BehaviorWhy to be AssertiveTypes of AssertivenessNon Verbal AssertivenessArt of saying Yes Or No
ObjectivesImportance of Assertiveness in organizationAssertiveness TrainingTechniques of Assertiveness TrainingProblems of Assertiveness TrainingSkills of helping the person to change the behaviour from non- Assertive to AssertiveDecide when to be Assertive
Introduction : At workplace
Introduction : At home
History of Assertiveness
Socrates
Smith -1975Today
What is AssertivenessAssertiveness is about self confidence which mean having a positive attitude
towards your self and others.. You are your first and biggest supporter.
1-It depends on expressing yourself2-Showing respects to others rights3-Being honest4-Indirect and certain 5-Mutual equilibrim and benefit is important in a
relationship6-It is expressing emotions, rights, realities,
thoughts and boundaries by words7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending the
message8-It is not universal, it depends on the position and
the individual9-It is getting social responsibility10-It is not the nature of the hunamkind, it can be
learned
Ten Points about Assertive Behaviours
1-Being assertive is focusing on your goal
2-Being assertive is being self-aware
3-Being assertive is being true to yourself
4-Being assertive is building self esteem
5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself
Being Assertive
What they want. What they believe. How they feel about things. How they react to things.
Assertive listening Understanding all
viewpoints Listening for accuracy Reinforce your
understanding Example – I heard you say ------, did I understand you correctly..etc
Assertive people know exactly
Why to be AssertiveAssertive behavior opens communication without letting anyone get trampled.
Reduces stress in workplace and life. Improved decision making ability. Happier and fulfilled life. Helps to handle difficult friends and co-workers more easily and reduces drama
NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORPassive individuals are not committed
to their own rights. More likely to allow others to encroach on their rights than to stand up and speak outPassive
Aggressive Very likely to defend their own rights. Work to achieve their own goals. Are likely to disregard the rights of others. Insist that their feelings and needs take
precedence over other people's. Tend to blame others for problems instead of
offering solutions.
NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
AggressiveAngryYellsStampingHittingWords hurtOthersMean
COMPARISON
AssertiveStanding tallLooking at peopleSmilingAskingSaying noFeels good about self
Passive Shy Scared Talking low Looking at floor afraid Embarrassed Hunched over Quiet
Saying Yes or No
How to say ‘no’ assertively?
Start your reply with a clear,firm,audible ‘no’
Do not justify or make excuses. Giving a reason is different from over-appologizing
Feel that you have a right to say noOnce you have said ‘no’ , do not stay around waiting to be persuaded to change your mind. Make a definite closure by changing the subject,walking away, continiuing with what you are doing-whatever is appropriate
It is okay to say:No, I won’t do that.No, this is my lunch money. I will not give it to you.I already have plans for Saturday. I cannot play that day
How to say ‘yes’ Assertively?
Say ‘yes’ clearly and definitelyIdentify why you would find it difficultExamine thoughts realistically and ask
yourselfHaving calarified thughts for yourself then reaffirm your desire to say ‘yes
AssertivenessPersonal identityWages or salarySatisfaction from
exercising skillsSatisfaction from
helping peopleSocial environment
THE IMPORTANCE OF ASSERTIVENESS IN ORGANISATIONS
Need to dealing with
TheirselvesThe manager to
whom they reportTheir colleaguesTheir
subordinatesClients or
customers
Body-language awareness leading to work body oriented therapies
Role-plays and then work in psyhcodrama Awareness of other people’s perceptions and
so work in sensitivity groups and encounter Looking at situations in the past where one
was, or was not assertive and hence traditional psychoteraphy
ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING IN WORK PLACE
Verbal communication Non-verbal communication Anxiety reduction and
control Anger reduction and
control, and redirection of this energy
Increase in self esteem Awareness of self and
others in interpersonnal situations
Awareness of social and cultural rules of behaviour
Techniques in Assertiveness Training
The first major problem for assertion training involves negative evaluations of assertive people by others
Confusion between assertion and aggression
Problem involves transfer of training,the difficulty experienced by trainees in generalising assertive from the training context to real-life situations
Finally some of the difficulties in applying assertion training outside the training context may be due to intuitive training procedures that are inadequately based in research
Problems in Assertiveness Training
You will need action planning skills at this stage of the counselling process.In particular, you need to help the person set clear objectives;
a mnemonic which can be useful is SMART. Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time oriented
The skills of helping the person to commit to changing his/her behaviour from non-assertive to assertive.
Do you know really what is the situation?How much importance it has for you?Will you get what you want?Do you want to just express yourself?What is your options?Do you want an optimistic result?Are you ready to be assertive?Did you count to the 10?Is it beter to wait?Will you get anger to yourself, ,f you don’t do
anything?Have you done your best?What are the possible results and risks?Will assertiveness cause a change?
TO DECİDE WHEN TO BE ASSERTİVE