Assignment 11 A Group Presentation Draft 5
Jul 11, 2015
Record of Grade for draft 1 (Individual)
Kaya Sumbland - DWhat Went Well:• Clear presentation and organisation• Excellent structure • Good understanding
Even Better If:• More detail• Use more images• Take real pictures of characters
Targets to Improve:• To explain my points in a PEE structure and use a verity of images.
Sanel Homer - UWhat Went Well:• Good organisation• Nice diagrams• Good understanding of chosen themeEven Better If:• Relate my pictures to the words• Less text• More detailTargets to Improve:• Make sure my diagrams are not to basic and shorted lengthy paragraphs into bullet points.
B
Slide not improved
Record of Grade for draft 1(Individual)
Gia Alveranga - UWhat Went Well:Even Better If:• Used more brief points • Showed more pictures Targets to Improve: • to show Slides have good organisation
Rahel Fasil - EWhat Went Well:• Short brief pointsEven Better If:• Use titles for slides• More detail• Make sure I present my knowledge more clearlyTargets to Improve:• Use more images and less text
B
Slide not improved
Kaya & Sanel Record of Grade for draft 1GroupPresentation Level – D-
What went well?• Showing progress and achievement• Slides have good organisation• Good effort and creativity• Good start to conventions
Even better if?• Colour code should be background• Title all the slides• More contribution from Sanel, Rahel and Gia• Don’t read from the screen
Targets to improve…• To make sure all group members contribute• Write our presentation with more detail and understanding• To word our idea’s better
B
Slide not improved
Decisions and RevisionsKaya & Sanel
Since our first draft, we’ve changed our idea a lot.
C
DRAFT 1 : • Thriller genre• Based on a girl who had schizophrenia and thought she
was possessed• Too complicated and sent out the wrong message about
the mental illness.
DRAFT 2 : • Completely same idea• Mental illness taken out – wrong message • Replaced with actually being possessed
Slide not improved
Decisions and RevisionsKaya & Sanel C
CHANGE IN IDEA : • We decided to change idea completely• Drama genre• We did research again on conventions• We want to connect with the audience• New idea was a girl’s life on drugs and her hallucinations
ALTERED IDEA : • Idea suits more to a thriller• Change drugs to mental illness• Hallucination - > Bizarre delusions• Change to psychological thriller• Alter flashbacks to match new concept• Girl with schizophrenia who is being emotionally
connected to toys from her real parents
Draft one of opening sequence
Slide not improved
Decisions and Revisions
Draft one of opening sequence
After receiving feedback from the first draft of our opening sequence, as a group we decided to change the genre and idea for our second draft. This was because the hallucination characters and dolls were too confusing. Also, our target audience didn’t understand that the main character was schizophrenic. Our opening sequence genre is now a Thriller and our idea is about a girl who’s new home is haunted.
Decisions and RevisionsKaya
C
HOW THE CHANGES HAVE HELPED: • Explored various genre’s creating a varied
understanding of the differences• Wider understanding of different themes and
topics• Exercise our creativity and to stimulate greater
idea’s each time
Our changes in pictures!!
Slide not improved
Genre
THRILLER
• We want to do this genre because it will keep our audience engaged and interested in the film.
• It has many diverse ways of creating enigma.
• We feel as a group we can challenge and meet the conventions.
• Also we like thought of being scared.
• A large majority of our target audience find thriller’s more exciting than other genre’s.
Sanel
D
•This genre has stayed the same from Draft one as we thought Thriller would be the best option for our group as we know a lot about thriller movies and did a lot of research about thriller and how to scare people.
•Also we thought that the audience would be interested in a thriller as it allows them to have the feeling of being scared and keeps them on the edge of their feet.
Why we stayed with Thriller from draft 1
DSanel
Devil – 2010
Devil is a thriller film because throughout the film you don’t
know who the devil is and it really thrills you to figure out
who the devil is throughout the film and at the end when
you find out who it is it really shocks you. Also at the end of
the film you think that everything is solved but its not.
Examples of thriller filmsKaya
Examples of thriller films
Buried – 2010
Buried is a thriller because throughout the movie your
always anticipating to see what will happen next, to him in
the coffin/box. Also at then end when the sand is pouring in
and he’s about to be saved it builds up all this excitement
but, when you find out they got the wrong guy, it really
shocks you.
Kaya