Arline Golden, Ph.D., President Goldenwords Management ...facultydevelopment.massgeneral.org/owc/pdf/2004-5 NLS 9 - Making the... · About the Seminar Leader Arline Golden, Ph.D.

Arline Golden, Ph.D., President Goldenwords Management Communications

[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

Copyright 2001; revised 2005 by Arline Golden, Ph.D. 146 Norwood Avenue Newton, MA 02460 All rights reserved.

No part of this work may be reproduced or copied in any form or by

any means—graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or information

storage and retrieval systems—without the written permission

of the author. Medical/Scientific Writing 2

About the Seminar Leader Arline Golden, Ph.D.

Dr. Arline Golden is President and founder of Goldenwords Management Communications. Since 1980, she has created and conducted presentation, writing, and communication training; coached individuals and teams on key presentations; and designed manuals, video programs, and other materials for institutions nationwide. Working with clients in corporate, high-tech, biomedical, biotech, healthcare, consulting, academic, manufacturing, and finance sectors, Dr. Golden's writing projects include: • Co-authoring the Leader's Guide for Peter Drucker's AMA video, Innovation:

It's Worth the Risk. • Producing four video training programs for Addison-Wesley Publishing

Company. • Designing and developing new employee orientations for Lotus, Nova

Biomedical, and EMC Corporations. • Designing and editing medical guidelines, procedures, visuals, grant proposals,

and journal articles for medical and biotech companies, scientists, and physicians.

Special presentation projects have included: • Conducting presentation workshops for Harvard Medical School, Beth Israel,

Mass. General, and Brigham and Women’s Hospitals. • Coaching executives and managers on sales, venture capital and international

presentations. • Coaching CEOs, senior management, and physicians on keynote speeches. Dr. Golden has extensive experience in both corporate and academic settings. She received her Ph.D. and M.A. from Indiana University and her B.A. from the University of Wisconsin. She has held corporate positions as Director of Training and Product Development Manager, and serves as Adjunct Faculty in Corporate Education at both Northeastern University and Boston University. She also coaches Europeans on intercultural communication through Global Immersions, Inc. Formerly a tenured professor in the SUNY system, she taught Management Communications at the Sloan School of Management, MIT.

Medical/Scientific Writing 3

Making the “Write” Point: A First-Aid Kit for Medical and Scientific Writers

To cure bad writing, use your first-aid kit to: • Define your objectives and your readers for each document • Address readers’ WII-FM and Need to Know • Use “Hot Spots” for attention and impact • Organize information into coherent, unified chunks • Streamline style to be simple, clear, concise, and direct • Choose active voice over passive voice when possible and appropriate • Employ correct and precise language, grammar and punctuation


Analyze Your Objectives

Ask Yourself:

Why Am I Writing This? •

•

What Do I Want To Have Happen? (Results, Outcomes, Hidden Agendas)

_________________________________________________________________ Complete the sentence below.

I want this document to:

- Explain - Persuade - Inform - Recommend - Instruct - Update - Motivate - Request, Refuse - Get Consensus - Get Commitment - Get Input - Get Feedback


Writing/Presentation Worksheet

1. What are my objectives? What results do I want? What do I want to have happen? (Include any hidden objectives/agendas.)

To:_____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

2. Who is the audience? Profile reader/audience by circling or filling in

answers to the questions below. a. Their knowledge of the topic is: High General Limited None Unknown b. Their interest or involvement in my message is: High Moderate Low Unknown c. Their attitude (bias) toward my message is: Favorable Neutral Indifferent Skeptical Hostile Unknown

d. Their attitude toward me/my organization/product makes my credibility:

High Neutral Low Unknown e. Their ability to act on my message characterizes them as:

Decision-Makers Intermediaries Others (Define) 3. Briefly describe your reader/audience by filling in as much as you know

about the following: POSITION/FUNCTION ______________________________ EDUCATION ______________________________ GENDER ______________________________ AGE ______________________________ BACKGROUND ______________________________ CULTURE OF ORG/DEPT ______________________________ THEIR EXPECTATIONS/ OBJECTIVES ______________________________


Writing/Presentation Worksheet (cont.)

4. What do I want this reader/audience: To Do/Act? _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ To Feel/Believe? _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ What Do They Need To Know/Understand? _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 5. Given this knowledge about my objectives and my audience, the most

appropriate structure would be: Direct Indirect Combination None Unknown 6. Organizing your ideas

a. On a separate sheet, write down your three to five key points or conclusions, and the data, evidence, or reasons that support each point.

b. Apply SO WHAT and NEED TO KNOW criteria to each

point/support. (See sheet on Determining Scope for more details on this step.)

c. Group your points and supporting evidence in a pattern that is

clear, logical, easy to follow, and appropriate to your reader/audience and your objective.


Analyze Your Readers 1. Assess their:

Knowledge of the Topic •

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

Interest/Involvement in Your Message

Attitude Toward Your Message (Their Position or Bias)

Attitude Toward You and What You Represent (Your Credibility)

Ability to Act on Your Message

2. Profile the readers:

Position/Function

Education

Gender

Age

Background

Organization/Department

Their Expectations/Objectives


Analyze Audience/Reader Response To meet my objectives for this audience: •

•

•

Medic

WHAT DO I WANT THEM TO DO?

(Actions/Behaviors)

WHAT DO I WANT THEM TO FEEL?

(Emotions/Beliefs about me, my message)

WHAT DO THEY NEED TO KNOW OR UNDERSTAND TO DO IT AND FEEL IT?

(Information/Ideas/Facts answering questions of:)

- Who - Where - What - - How - When - Why

al/Scientific Writing 9

Memo

TO: All Hospital Employees SUBJECT: Meeting on New Clinical Procedures, December 10-12 On December 10-12, the Hospital will host a conference on New Clinical Procedures, which will be held in the Building Six Auditorium. Approximately 500 conference participants will be expected, which will cause crowding at some of the facilities. The Building Six Parking Lot will be reserved for conference attendees. Employees who normally work there should make an effort to use the other lots. Also, between 11:30 a.m. and 12:00 p.m., Cafeteria No. 3 will be occupied by conference attendees. Hospital staff should plan accordingly. As always, your cooperation in these matters is greatly appreciated.


WII-FM?


Answer the WII-FM Questions 1. What Do You Have For Me? BENEFIT/

INCENTIVE (What?) 2. Why Should I Care? RELEVANCE or So What? (So What?) 3. What Do You Want From Me? COST OR ACTION NEEDED (Now What?)


Writing Hot Spots

1. SUBJECT LINE GET THEIR ATTENTION

- Address their WII-FM - Alert them to reason for writing - Be specific

2. OPENING GET TO THE POINT

- Give message (or at least direction) - Relate to reader's WII-FM - Option: Preview action needed

TELL THEM WHAT YOU'LL TELL THEM

3. CLOSING SUMMARIZE THE MESSAGE - Summarize key points, steps or WII-FM

- Option: State or request next steps/actions and deadlines

TELL THEM WHAT YOU TOLD THEM


Subject Line Words That Grab Attention

FOR WII-FM FOR SPECIFICS

• Increase • Request

• Improve • Recommend

• Benefit • Propose

• Save • Update

• Reduce • Clarify

• Opportunity • Announce (ment)

• Value • Suggest (ion)

• Solve (Solution) • Steps

• Invitation • Procedures, Guidelines

• You, We, Our • How to, When to, Why


Write Strong Openings and Closings

Opening and closing sentences are "hot spots" critical to any written communication. Openings make the first impression on the reader, and set the tone and context for everything that follows. Closings summarize main points and request or state next steps and actions. OPENINGS Effective openings achieve three things:

1. They state the purpose of your letter or memo (that is, tell the reader what the letter or memo is about), and set the tone to follow.

2. They focus on what is important or interesting to the reader.

3. They draw the reader into the body of the message.

1. Defining the Purpose. Some of the typical purposes for letters or memos

are: - to answer inquiries - to request information - to give information - to decline requests - to persuade, sell or promote - to introduce or explain a procedure - to request action You must define your objective(s) for yourself before you can write a good

opening stating that purpose for the reader. 2. Focusing on What is Important or Interesting to the Reader. Readers

won't care enough to continue reading (or won't know why they should continue reading) unless you arouse their interest and establish the relevance to them. Effective openings do this by answering the question, "Why am I reading this?" or "What's in it for me?" from the reader's point of view.


Write Strong Openings and Closings, cont. 3. Creating a Personalized Tone and Style. WII-FM also requires a style that

talks to the reader as a person, using language that sounds professional and courteous, not stuffy and bureaucratic. No one wants to read form letters or legal briefs, so omit, "Enclosed herewith find attached," and use the natural language you would speak ("We are enclosing").

4. Drawing the Reader Into the Body of the Message. A good opening

serves as an introduction and frame of reference for the rest of the document. Don't waste it on small talk and cliches, and keep references to earlier correspondence or enclosures to a minimum. Get to the real point quickly and clearly.

Option: Put references in your subject line, avoiding the opening (Examples: "RE: Your Letter Regarding May 10 Conference,").

Openings—Don't Start the Trip Without Them! Openings are needed not only in formal letters and memos but in everything that you write: -E-mails -Reports, proposals -Technical procedures -Meeting minutes -Performance reviews -Monthly status reports -Yearly accomplishments OPENINGS COULD INCLUDE:

Stating objective (of project or task) • • • • •

• • • •

Defining the term, concept or issue being discussed Stating the problem or issue to be resolved Posing a question that you will answer Summarizing results or conclusions (for report)

Here are some other approaches to use when appropriate:

Anecdote, Story, or Example Quotation Statistic or Data Interesting Point or Fact


Revising E-mail Subject Line and Opening Company employees were scheduled to attend an important training meeting at 1:00 p.m. Sponsors changed the time to 2:00 p.m., and sent the following memo. What do you think happened?

From: Joe Smith Date: September 12, 2004 To: (135 names took up 1/3 of screen) Re: 2000 United Way Campaign Meeting, 9/15 A reminder to Steering Team, Business Captains and Donor Representatives to attend the 2000 United Way Campaign Meeting on Friday, September 15 at 2:00 pm in the Building 2 Auditorium. Arline Golden from Goldenwords Management Communications will provide a 2 hour workshop on how to speak effectively and persuasively to an audience. This training should help you develop your cost center United Way pitch and hopefully increase this year's United Way participation rate and campaign dollars. Since this will be the last meeting before the kick-off on October 2, please bring your questions to the meeting.

How would you change the subject line and opening to reflect the real message of this memo? Revised subject line: Revised opening sentence:


Closings: Summarize Key Points, Clarify Next Steps

Because closings stand out and make a lasting impact on the reader, they provide a key opportunity to reiterate your message and clarify next steps. Don't waste that opportunity on vague phrases and clichés like "Don't hesitate to call." Instead, use closings to achieve the following: (1) summarize key points of information; (2) request reader's action or response; (3) inform the reader of writer's actions (answering "What Now?"). When requesting or stating actions, give specific timeframes or deadlines. If you really want action to stand out, add a heading such as, "Action Requested," or "Next Steps." Read the closings below, and determine whether the writer is summarizing info, requesting reader's action, stating writer's action, or any combination of the three. 1. From an email: For more information about the intranet site, send email to xyz.org or call the

Public Affairs Office at xxxxx. 2. From an email: Due to a change in instrumentation, the Hospital Lab will no longer be able to

process complete blood cell counts after April 20, 2005. Please contact Dr. Joan Smith at aaa.org with any questions, or if you need information about outside laboratories offering these tests.

3. From a report: As our report demonstrates, we urgently need to adapt our current procedure to this

new approach.

Next Steps Can we meet next week to discuss this report? I'll call to schedule best time.


DETERMINING SCOPE

THE RIGHT INFO = READER’S NEED TO KNOW Just because you've written down all the facts and supporting information that could be included in your presentation or document, doesn't mean that it all should be included. Too often, writers and presenters make mistakes based on assumptions. They either assume the reader knows enough, and so don't include basic information that's critical to the message, or they assume that everything is important, and include irrelevant and confusing details. APPLY SO WHAT? AND NEED TO KNOW CRITERIA. To determine correct scope, go back to your objectives and the needs of your reader (specifically, what reader needs to know). To keep only essential information, list your key points and supporting detail or data. Keeping your objective and reader/audience's needs in mind, look at your list, and for each key point and supporting detail, apply the criteria: SO WHAT? and IS THIS NEED TO KNOW or only NICE TO KNOW? The following guidelines help you apply those criteria by asking some specific questions about everything on your list.

Guidelines for Determining Scope Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What must be said to reach my objectives? Star only those points or details that fulfill objectives.

2. What must be said to persuade the reader? What is reader’s WII-FM?

3. What do I want the reader To Do and To Feel? Star only those points or

details that fulfill desired understanding and response.

4. What must be said to explain my ideas? Remember Who, What, When, Where, How and Why.


Guidelines for Determining Scope, cont.

Check to see if your points answer these:

WHO and WHAT answer questions about IDENTITY. •

•

•

•

•

WHERE answers questions about LOCATION. WHEN answers questions about TIMING. HOW answers questions about METHODOLOGY. WHY answers questions about RATIONALE.

5. Star the points that answer any of these questions. 6. Now look at the information you have not starred. Does it answer SO

WHAT and NEED TO KNOW criteria? If it's not essential, omit it from main document. You may be able to use it in attachments or visuals such as charts and graphs.


Organizing Your Ideas and Paragraphs

To ensure reader comprehension and response, the writer's key points must be clear, logical and easy to follow. The techniques below will help you develop and organize your message for maximum clarity and coherence. 1. Group Key Points in Patterns

Make it easy for readers to understand and retain ideas by grouping them together in patterns. Create your own pattern, or find one appropriate to your topic from the classic patterns below. To increase understanding and impact: Tell your reader in your opening what pattern you're using, and use headings as "labels" for the groupings. Classic Grouping Patterns Include: -Categories ("Leadership," "Teamwork") -Cause-Effect -Chronology or Sequence -Problem-Solution -Priority (most important to least) -Comparison-Contrast -Concept-Example -Need-Benefit -Definition-Classification -General-Specific

2. Create Unified and Coherent Paragraphs

Paragraphs are another form of grouping. They group several sentences as a logical and visual embodiment of your message, developing key ideas and signaling breaks or divisions. If they are fragmented and choppy, or knotty and impenetrable, your ideas will seem that way too. To create effective paragraphs, try the following: Make Each Paragraph a Mini-Essay Reflecting the Topic Sentence A paragraph is a mini-essay supporting and developing a single idea. That idea is usually stated in a topic sentence, and all the other sentences should relate to that topic sentence. New ideas deserve a new paragraph. Emphasize Key Points in Paragraph Hot Spots As a mini-document, paragraphs have their own "hot spots," and you can emphasize your key point or topic sentence by putting it in the hot spots. Usually, that would be the opening sentence, with the rest of the paragraph supporting the point. Occasionally, you will best meet your objectives by putting it in the conclusion or even in the middle.


Create Unified and Coherent Paragraphs, cont.

Connect Ideas and Paragraphs With Key Words, Headings and Transitions Continue to emphasize and show the connections between ideas by using key words and transition words both within and between paragraphs.

-Within paragraphs, you can repeat key words and phrases or synonyms for those words.

-To connect related paragraphs to each other, you can use a heading over the entire section, and subheadings between the paragraphs.

-You can also use transition words as "directional signals" leading the reader

from one paragraph or section to another (see next page for a list of "Transition Words").

Demonstrate Appropriate and Varied Paragraph Length Avoid both overly long paragraphs that confuse and turn off the reader, and overly short ones that seem choppy and undeveloped. On the whole, go for shorter paragraphs: about 3-5 sentences, or 150-200 words, or 1 ½ inches. To reduce monotony, try to vary paragraph length occasionally.

To add variation:

-Break up long paragraphs with displayed lists, spot tables, highlighting, or subheads. -Expand short, choppy paragraphs with more supporting detail or transition sentences connecting them to preceding or succeeding paragraphs. -Throw in an infrequent one-sentence paragraph for impact.


Use Transition Words as Directional Signals

TO INDICATE USE TRANSITIONS Illustration For example, for instance

Comparison Similarly, again, likewise

Contrast On the other hand, but, for, yet, however, nevertheless

Condition If, although, unless

Cause/Effect Because, so, therefore, consequently, as a result, accordingly, thus

Repetition In other words, in essence, that is

Time and Sequence After a while, at first, at last, for now, first, second, then, next, meanwhile, previously, soon, later

Concession Anyway, at any rate, even so, however, of course, still

Generalization As a rule, as usual, for the most part, generally, in general, ordinarily

Summary In short, briefly, in conclusion, finally, on the whole, ultimately


Streamline Your Style

AVOID:

Stuffy, pompous, inflated diction •

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

Jargon, bureaucratese

Gobbledygook

Passive voice

Weak verbs

Redundant words and details

Unclear or inexact references, words

USE:

Conversational, courteous diction

Shorter, simpler sentences and words

Active voice

Strong verbs

Necessary words and details

Specific references, subjects, words


Gobbledygook

Gobbledygook is a form of padding that occurs when writers use multisyllabic words or phrases instead of a shorter, simpler word with the same meaning. Gobbledygook sounds pompous and stuffy, and makes documents longer, more awkward, and more confusing. The list below will help you identify common gobbledygook, and substitute more effective language.

make a determination of Determine give authorization for Authorize is a reflection of Reflects make preparation for Prepare come to a decision Decide come to a conclusion Conclude engage in a demonstration Demonstrate make a substitution Substitute give assistance to Assist make an announcement Announce are in receipt of Received is a replacement for Replaces are in agreement on Agree make the assumption that Assume in conjunction with and, with in short supply Scarce in the majority of instances Usually in view of the fact that since, because in the event of If in connection with, in relation to about, regarding in the matter of, with regard to about, regarding in order to, for the purpose of to, for by means of By along the lines of like, as for the reason that, on the basis of since, because within the realm of possibility Possible afford the opportunity Allow at the present time Now enclosed herein there is enclosed is, here is, I enclose was of the opinion that believed, thought submitted his resignation Resigned it has been brought to my attention I have learned following, subsequent to After prior to Before

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •


Active vs. Passive Voice in Sentences

Active and passive sentences both convey actions. The difference is in how they convey the actions through their sentence structure. Active Voice In active sentences, the person or thing doing the action (subject) precedes the action (verb); any recipient of the action (object) comes after the verb. So active sentence structure is normally subject-verb-object.

Example: The doctor (subject) performed (action) the procedure on the patient (object). Passive Voice In passive voice, the doer comes after the action—it is acted upon rather than acting (that’s why it is called passive).

Example: The procedure was performed upon the patient by the doctor. As this example shows, passive voice reverses normal sentence order, which can be confusing. Passive voice is also longer than active voice, because it adds extra helping verbs of the verb “To Be” (be, am, is, are, was, were, been, being) and often places the doer in a phrase beginning with such prepositions as “by” “to” or “for.” Here “was” is the helping verb, and “by” is the preposition. Sometimes passive sentences completely omit the subject, as in these examples, which leave us wondering who performed the actions:

The patient was left unattended. New regulations were enacted.

Other passive sentences use “false subjects” such as “It is fortunate,” “There were,” “It was decided,” “It is recommended.” They are “false” because no person or thing performs the action here. AIM FOR ACTIVE VOICE MOST OF THE TIME In general, try to reduce passive voice, and convert it into the more forceful, clear and succinct active voice. Active voice is especially preferable when you know who the doer is, when the doer is important, and when you want more lively and concise language.


Recognizing and Changing Passive Voice

Below are clues for recognizing passive voice. Subject Extra Helping Verbs Extra Prepositions Acted upon (at end of the sentence), Missing, or "False"—It was, It is, There are

Forms of "To Be" (be, am, is, are, was, were, been, being)

By, for, with, to, of

TO CHANGE PASSIVE VOICE TO ACTIVE VOICE:

1. Look for the doer of the action, and put the doer before the verb. If the doer

is missing, put one in. Don’t be afraid to use "We" or "I" where appropriate.

Passive: This report was written by Janice Smith. Active: Janet Smith wrote this report. Passive: It is hoped that this proposal will be accepted by the department. Active: The Project Committee hopes the department accepts this

proposal. 2. If you use passive voice to give instructions, and the implied subject is

"you," begin the sentence with the active verb:

Passive: The policy guidelines must be revised by first quarter. Active: Revise policy guidelines by the first quarter.

WHEN IS PASSIVE VOICE A GOOD CHOICE?

1. When the performer of the action is unknown, is not important to sentence

meaning, or you want to avoid identifying the performer.

The patient was left unattended. (We don’t know by whom) The test was conducted inaccurately. (We don’t want to blame someone)

2. When the action receiver is more important than the performer.

Dr. Grove was cited as one of the top ten primary care physicians by her HMO. (Dr. Grove is more important than who cited her.)


Streamlining Medical Prose

CHANGE PASSIVE VOICE TO ACTIVE VOICE Passive: Lactate was produced by S. aureus. Active: Passive: The patient was administered to by the clinician. Active: Passive: Trichrome staining was performed to observe the collagen accumulation in lung tissue. Active: Passive: The Methods section was written by the committee. Active: REDUCE AND CLARIFY NOUN CLUSTERS When several nouns are piled up to modify other nouns, all clarity is lost. Some examples of this are: -infected tissue culture response -rat heterotopic tracheal transplant model -carotid-femoral pulse-wave velocity To disentangle the clusters and restore clarity and precision, try inserting one or more prepositions to clarify the relationships between words. Example: cultured sheep pulmonary artery endothelial cells Revision: endothelial-cell cultures from the pulmonary artery of sheep (or) cultures of endothelial cells taken from the pulmonary artery of sheep AVOID AWKWARD SYNTAX AND DANGLING MODIFIERS Awkward Syntax -Free information about V.D. To get it, call 555-1000. -A large mass of literature has accumulated in the cell walls of staphylococci. -Thymic humoral factor (THF) is a single heat-stable polypeptide isolated from calf thymus composed of 31 amino acids with molecular weight of 3,200. Dangling Modifiers -Lying on top of the intestine, you will make out a small transparent thread. -Using an antipsychotic, Dr. Jones successfully treated the patient. -Isolation of Antigens from Monkeys Using Complement-Fixation Techniques


STREAMLINING EXERCISE

This sentence has 23 words, many of them redundant. How many can you streamline down to a concise sentence that keeps the essential meaning?

It is fortunate that procedures for the reduction of contamination were implemented by our division for research in avoidance of a potential problem.

Streamline Process 1. Circle key words to keep. 2. [Bracket] redundant or awkward words:

- gobbledygook - passives - unnecessary prepositional phrases

3. Reduce, revise, or omit bracketed words and rewrite sentence.

____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________


Self-Test 1. Are italicized pronouns used correctly?

The ideal plan would be for she and I to work together. _____ yes _____ no

2. What punctuation would you omit in this sentence?

The chairman formally adjourned the meeting, but, the committee members continued to argue.

3. What punctuation would you change in this sentence?

The chairman formally adjourned the meeting, however, the committee members continued to argue.

4. What’s wrong with this sentence?

The coach and myself discussed the game. 5. What punctuation mark will most effectively separate the parts of the sentence below?

Research scientists don’t like to report details of projects that fail/you can understand why.

6. What’s wrong with this sentence? Providing all employees with hospitalization insurance.

7. What’s wrong with this sentence?

Being unhappy with the job, his performance suffered. 8. What’s wrong with this sentence?

While eating lunch in the cafeteria, the computer malfunctioned. 9. What’s wrong with this sentence?

Its clear that their was to much to do in a short period of time, causing us to loose the account.


Medical/Scientific Writing

Choosing the Right Word Common Confusions

ACCEPT/EXCEPT ACCEPT is a verb meaning to receive.

“They accept all credit cards.”

EXCEPT is a preposition meaning to exclude.

“Everyone is going, except Charlie.” “We accept your offer, except for one clause.”

AFFECT/EFFECT AFFECT is a verb meaning to influence,

change or impress.

“This won’t affect the schedule.”

EFFECT is a noun meaning result or consequence.

“The effect was amazing.” “She was very affected by the music; its effect on her was obvious.”

EACH, EITHER, NEITHER These singular pronouns require singular EVERYONE, NOBODY verbs. ANYONE, ANYBODY SOMEONE, NONE “ FARTHER/FURTHER FARTHER refers to distance.

“None of the salespeople is going.” “Neither one of us wants to do it.” “Everyone likes ice cream.”

“I can’t go farther.”

FURTHER refers to time, quantity, or depth.

”
“Let’s look at this further.
31


Choosing the Right Word, Common Confusions, cont. FLAUNT/FLOUT FLAUNT means to show off.

“She flaunted her diamond ring.”

FLOUT means to defy or ignore something.

“He flouted the rules when he did that.”

IT’S/ITS IT’S is a contraction for “it is”; this word can

only be used to mean “it is” (or “it has”).

“It’s clear that we must take action now.”

ITS is a possessive pronoun indicating ownership. It does not take an apostrophe.

“The horse hurt its leg.”

(See also YOU’RE/YOUR and WHO’S/ WHOSE) LESS/FEWER LESS refers to quantities and amounts in

abstract masses that cannot be measured or counted.

“We had less rain than expected.”

FEWER refers to items that are measurable.

“Fewer people came to the meeting.” “Fewer good teachers means less education.”


Choosing the Right Word, Common Confusions, cont. LAY/LIE In the present tense, LAY means to put or place

something; it must have an object (the thing being put).

“Lay your coat on the bed and come eat something.”

(The object is the coat.) LIE means to rest or recline; it cannot take an

object.

“Lie down a while and you’ll feel better.” “I’ll lay down my books and then lie down.”

But note that “lay” is also the past tense of “to lie.”

(And “lie” can also mean “to fib.”) Now it’s confusing!

“Yesterday, I lay down for two hours.”

LIKE/AS LIKE indicates that something or someone is

similar to or resembles something or someone else (usually nouns or pronouns).

“He looks like a big teddy bear.” “Turned on, it acts like a compressor.” “Like all of us, she thought the new system was hard.”

AS is used when you mean as if or as though and when a verb follows.

“He responded as we knew he would.” “Just as we thought, it didn’t work.” “As I said earlier, we’ll have to do it over.” “Do it just as we told you.”

Medical/Scientific Writing

Choosing the Right Word, Common Confusions, cont. THAN/THEN THAN is used to compare or contrast things

(something is more than or less than something else).

THEN is about a time sequence, one thing following or resulting from another.

THAT/WHICH/WHO W

T

B

b

Tmc

“First I checked it out, then I bought it.”

“He is taller than his brother.”

34

HO refers to people (or a named animal). HAT and WHICH refer to animals and things.

“The man who did it is over there.” “The dog that we saw is a poodle.” “Dinah, who was hungry, ate her favorite cat food.”

oth THAT and WHICH are used in clauses ut they are not interchangeable.

HAT should be used in clauses essential to the eaning of the sentence; if you deleted the

lause, the sentence meaning would change.

“We’re looking for a house that has red windows.” “Yesterday, we signed a contract that cannot be altered for one year.”


Choosing the Right Word, Common Confusions, cont. THAT/WHICH/WHO cont. WHICH is used in clauses that are not essential

to the meaning; they provide additional but unnecessary information, and can be deleted. Also, WHICH clauses are enclosed in commas, while THAT clauses are not.

“The house, which has red windows, belongs to them.” “This contract, which we signed yesterday, cannot be altered for one year.”

YOU'RE/YOUR Like IT'S/ITS, the difference here is between a

contraction and a possessive pronoun. YOU'RE is a contraction for "you are." YOUR is a pronoun showing possession (no apostrophe needed.)

"You're going to be late." "This is your coat."

WHO'S/WHOSE These are like IT'S /ITS and YOU'RE/YOUR. WHO'S is a contraction for "who is" (or "who

has"). WHOSE shows possession (no apostrophe

needed).

"Who's going to be late?" "Whose coat is this?"


Words Misused, Abused, or Invented Following are some words or phrases that are misused or are not really words at all. Use the appropriate substitute instead. A LOT No such word. There are two words—"a lot—" but

that sounds too casual for writing. Try "many" or a specific number.

IN REGARDS TO No "s" after "regard." The correct phrase is either "in regard to," or better yet, "regarding."

INSIDE OF Just "inside"—no "of" is needed. Example: "We're staying inside Route 495."

IRREGARDLESS No such word. The word you want is "regardless."

SIMPLISTIC Contrary to what some people think, "simplistic" is not just a high-faluting way of saying "simple." It means to oversimplify a problem by ignoring complicating factors. So don't say "simplistic" when you mean "simple"; you might insult someone.

TRY AND The correct phrase is "try to," not "try and." Example: "I'll try to do it like that."

UP UNTIL The correct phrase is "until," not "up until" or "til." Example: "Until then, we always did it that way."


Some Guidelines on Punctuation Punctuation marks represent the stops and pauses we use in speaking. Periods, question marks, exclamation points, semi-colons, and colons are big stops—the "red lights" of writing. Commas and dashes are pause marks—"yellow lights" that call for a momentary slow down. Some punctuation marks separate words and ideas. Some group together related ideas. Some emphasize particular words or phrases. All of them help clarify material that might be confusing or misleading to the reader.

WHEN TO USE COMMAS GENERALLY SPEAKING, USE A COMMA WHERE YOU’D PAUSE BRIEFLY IN SPEECH. 1. Use a comma after a long introductory phrase or clause.

• After stealing the money, the thief escaped. 2. Use a comma if the sentence would be confusing or misleading without one

(the pause test). • After eating, the child became sleepy.

3. Use a comma to separate words, phrases, or clauses in a series of three or

more. • I enjoy the old films of Bogart, Cagney, Garbo, and Hepburn.

4. Use a comma to separate independent clauses that are joined by a

conjunction such as and, but, or, nor, for, yet, because, so. • I’ll return this dress, because the color isn’t right for me.

5. Use a comma to set off a word or group of words that isn’t essential to the

meaning, or that interrupts the flow. • She was, in my opinion, outstanding. • On the other hand, he was lousy.


Some Guidelines on Punctuation, cont. 6. Use a comma after directly addressing someone or giving a proper name

and the person’s title or position. • Henry, what are you doing? • Penny Prentice, Director of Human Resources, will speak.

7. Use a comma to separate geographical elements and dates.

• Penny comes from Paris, France; she was born July 1, 1950. 8. Use a comma to separate direct questions and interjections (Yes, No, Well,

Oh) from the rest of the sentence. • Yes, we have no bananas. • She said, "Let’s go out to dinner."

WHEN NOT TO USE COMMAS a. DON’T separate subject and verb:

• Deciduous trees, change color in the fall. – WRONG. b. DON’T join two independent clauses with a comma; they need a

semicolon. • The day was stifling, it made me feel sluggish. – WRONG.

WHEN TO USE A SEMICOLON

Use a semicolon whenever you could use a period: when you have two independent phrases that could stand alone (each phrase has a subject and a verb). If you can make two separate sentences separated by a period, then you can substitute a semicolon for that period. A comma would be wrong. 1. Use a semicolon to separate two independent clauses not joined by a

coordinate conjunction such as "and" or "but." • The day was stifling; it made me feel sluggish.

2. Use a semicolon to separate two independent clauses joined by such

adverbs as because, therefore, however, thus, moreover, also, besides, consequently, meanwhile, otherwise, then, furthermore, likewise, in fact, still. • On weekdays, we close late; however, we close early on weekends.


Some Guidelines on Punctuation, cont. 3. You can also use a semicolon to separate items in a series when there are

already lots of commas within the series (to reduce confusion). • At the high-school reunion, I sat with the football player, Henry Smith;

the editor of the paper, Mary Jones; two stars of the class play; and Jay Long, the class clown.

WHEN TO USE A COLON A colon is a tip-off to get ready for something: a list, a long quotation, or an explanation. 1. Use a colon to introduce a list if the sentence prepares the reader for the list.

• To the mixture, add the following: thyme, basil, parsley. 2. Use a colon to introduce a long quotation (more than three sentences), or a

formal quotation. • In his speech to Congress, Lincoln said: • The President declared: "No new taxes."

3. Use a colon after the salutation in a formal business letter (but a comma

after first names). • Dear Mr. Gordon: (But “Dear Joe,”)

WHEN NOT TO USE A COLON Don’t use a colon if you incorporate a list in the sentence.

• To the mixture, add thyme, basil and parsley.

WHEN TO USE A PERIOD Use a period after every complete sentence except a direct question or exclamation. 1. Use a period after an abbreviation or title:

• Mr., U.S., Dr., M.D.


Some Guidelines on Punctuation, cont.

WHEN TO USE AN APOSTROPHE Use an apostrophe to make a noun possessive, or to show omission of letters or numerals. 1. If the noun is singular, add ‘s.

• I hated Betty’s dress. 2. If the noun is plural, add apostrophe after the s.

• These are the girls’ coats. 3. Follow the same rule as in #1 if it’s a singular name that already ends in s.

(Or just put the apostrophe after the s.) • This is Charles Dickens’s best book (or "Dickens’ best book").

4. Add es’ if it’s a plural name that already ends in s.

• This is the Dickenses’ cottage. 5. Use an apostrophe to show omission of letters or numerals.

• It’s (it is) • Who’s (who is) • Don’t (do not) • Class of ‘84

WHEN NOT TO USE AN APOSTROPHE a. Don’t use an apostrophe with possessive pronouns like his, hers, its, ours,

yours, theirs, or with whose. • The cat lost it’s toy. – WRONG. • Who’s joke is this? – WRONG.


Medical and Scientific Writing Resources AMA Style Manual Committee. American Medical Association Manual of Style: A Guide for Authors and Editors. 9th ed. William & Wilkins, 1997. CBE Style Manual Committee. Scientific Style and Format: The CBE Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers. 6th ed. Cambridge University Press, l994. Day, R.A. Scientific English: A Guide for Scientists and Other Professionals. Oryx Press, l996. Goodman, N.W., and Edwards, M.B. Medical Writing: A Prescription for Clarity. Cambridge University Press, l995. Health Care Communication Group. Writing, Speaking, & Communication Skills for Health Professionals. New Haven and London, 2001. Iles, R.L. Guidebook to Better Medical Writing. Island Press, l997. O’Connor, P. Woe is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English. Putnam’s Sons, l996. Schwager, E. Medical English Usage and Abusage. Oryx Press, l991.

On-Line Style Manuals American Medical Writers Association www.amwa.org (includes medical and technical writing links) Biotech at Indiana biotech.chem.indiana.edu (free on-line dictionary of terms in biological sciences) Harvard Experimental Medicine expmed.bwh.harvard.edu (links to scientific and style sites) Plain English Campaign plainenglish.co.uk (on-line style guides) Spellex.com (includes medical spell-checker) University of Minnesota www.biomed.lib.umn.edu (one-page style guides)

Arline Golden, Ph.D., President Goldenwords Management ...facultydevelopment.massgeneral.org/owc/pdf/2004-5 NLS 9 - Making the... · About the Seminar Leader Arline Golden, Ph.D.

Documents