Are you 'leaking' what you feel?

…are you ‘leaking’ what you feel?

WHEN YOU COMMUNICATE…

Feelings involved in communication

FRUSTRATION

IRRITATIONFEAR DOUBT

ANGER

IMPATIENCESURPRISE

DISGUST

ANXIETY

STRESS

SADNESS

Where do you get them?PresentationsGiving feedbackReceiving feedbackConflict situationsCoachingParentingNegotiating….

What happens?• The older parts of our brain bypass rational thinking•Chemistry takes over our body• The obvious symptoms• Sweating• Blushing• Stuttering • Muscles tightening

• The more subtle symptoms• Micro expressions• Leakage in face, hands, body, speech and eyes.

So what?

We are- by nature- designed to interpret the body language we spot & react to it

Bottom line = a loopOthers see

YOUR change in body

language

They make a judgement &

adapt behavior

THEIR body

language changes

You spot that &

interpret

You change YOUR body language

What you need to get out of that loop…

1. Learn what leaking means

2. Find out how you leak

3. Deal with it

1. Baseline & leaking: what?

COMMUNICATION

BODY WORDS SOUND

NO STRESS? STRESS?

BASELINE DEVIATION FROM BASELINE = LEAKAGE

2.How do we leak stress?

Words• Speeding up (over 180 WPM)• Building complex sentences (2 or more parallel strings)•Using big words •Using filler words (euh…, so…, anyway…)• Babbling

2.How do we leak stress?

Sound• Losing voice power• Speaking louder than usual• Trembling voice

2.How do we leak stress?

Eyes• Taking one person hostage • Evasive•Disconnected eye contact• Fugitive eye contact

2.How do we leak stress?

Hands•Rubbing• Steepling•Caressing• Scratching• In hips•Arms crossed•…

2.How do we leak stress?Micro- expressions (see also Paul Ekman)• Sadness• Happiness• Contempt• Disgust• Surprise• Fear• Anger

3. How can you deal with it?

Words• Speak in short & simple sentences• If you tend to speed up, sit down.•Replace filler words with a silence

3. How can you deal with it?

Eyes•Pretend you are talking to 1 person at a

time•When in front of an audience, apply the

pop corn technique• Identify a couple of friendly faces and

alternate between them

3. How can you deal with it?

Hands• Give them something to do: point, hold something• Plant buddy’s near to you:• Lean on a chair- get’s shoulders & stress down• Use the flip chart- gives you something to walk to when stressed• Use a table: have it near you and go sit on it when stressed

•Whatever you can do with them that looks ‘relaxed’

If you want to find out how you leak stress…

ASK FOR A VIDEO

ANALYSIS