ANGER MANAGEMENT By: Dr. Kamlesh Lala
ANGER MANAGEMENT
By: Dr. Kamlesh Lala
What is angerAnger is a natural emotion.
It is nature’s way of telling us that something wrong in our lives has gone anywhere.
Causes of AngerTrying to change the past
Trying to change others
Lots of negativity in our mind
and fixed belief system
Unfulfilled desires
Anger is like a mirror
It reflects your inner unstability
If you are disturbed inside, then you will be
disturbed outside.
It makes you blank and blind
Stages of Anger1. Low self esteem and always trying to please
others2. Irritation3. Hatred4. Frustration5. Anger
1. Verbal2. Aggression3. Physical violence
Know the difference between anger and aggression.
Anger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry.
Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is not ok. Learn to check your aggression and express your anger appropriately.
Arguments are part of life and we get into arguments everyday with relatives, friends, classmates, coworkers and sometimes even with strangers.
Bur Remember
They often are trivial and useless.
CONSEQUENCES OF ANGER Identify potential consequences of your anger
to others and yourself…what can that mean for you?
Physical harm to someone or selfStrained relationsDestruction of propertyLoss of family/friendsLoss of jobLoss of social privilegesGoing to jailGetting a bad reputation
How to Control1st stage: Do not react
2nd stage: Do not get hurt
3rd stage: Do not think otherwise
Either control the angerOR
Accept it as your nature
But thenDo not complaint that
1. I want peace,2. happiness and 3. good relationship
RememberAnger is absolutely and always
harmful to me and to others
It is my own creation. I can decide
whether I have to be angry or not
Match stick has a head and no brain
What to do?Awareness: Be aware it is “Anger”Acknowledgement: I have become angryAccept: It was my responsibilityDetach: Who am I? I am a peaceful soul. Peace is
integral part of my personality. Anger is not my nature.
Introspection
Introspection1. It is absolutely harmful in all ways
2. It is my own creation
3. Change your belief system which is usually
based on past experiences
4. List the triggers and try to avoid them in
future
5. Note down gain or loss
Short pencil is better than a long memory.
Use it to reduce your anger
Write down everything which you do not
like on a peace of paper and burnt it or
throw it away
Do not remember past bad experiences.
Let them be washed away by flowing
water like a river
Speak Less
Speak in low tone
Speak sweet
Remember
Do not criticize, condemn or
complain
Because it makes you angry
Say sorry at the right moment
A compilation of stress reduction techniques for channeling one’s angry feelings into socially acceptable directions
Ability to cope and deal with stress
When you are ANGRY and UPSET
remember…
1-2-3 TURTLE
1 – Go inside your shellTHINK before you
ACT
Take a “Time Out”
Time heals everything
Leave the room
2 – Take 3 Deep Breaths
Time to RELAXCalm yourself
down
Think of a good solution
3 – Walk Away
Ways to Stop an Argument Never accuse a person of being wrong.
Admit your mistakes.
Be pleasant and polite.
Get your opponent saying yes. The objective is to have that person stop regarding you as the adversary.
ANGER MANAGEMENT I stop blaming
others and myself.1. Blaming only keeps
people upset.2. Blaming is a way of
not respecting people.
3. I express my feelings and then try to work things out.
ANGER MANAGEMENT Steps to taming
anger1. Know what pushes
your buttons.2. Know your body’s
anger signs.3. Stop and think!4. Cage your rage…
it’s your choice.5. Decide what to do.
ANGER MANAGEMENT1. Calm down2. Name the problem3. Find solutions4. Pick the best solution5. Evaluate the solution6. Congratulate yourself7. Show mutual respect8. Make changes if
necessary9. Review the solution
that was picked