Anger Management Wolverine Wednesday 3/18/15. Anger What are some things that make you angry? How do you express your anger?

Anger ManagementAnger ManagementWolverine Wednesday

3/18/15

AngerAnger

What are some things that make you angry?

How do you express your anger?

Do other people have control over

your emotions?

Why? Why not?

What can you do to control anger?What can you do to control anger?

Name and “own” the feeling.

Admit to yourself if you are angry—not “stressed” or “upset” or “depressed.” Don’t say someone “made” you angry.


Be civil.

Ironically, we often treat strangers better than the people we know; therefore, treat those closest to you at least as well as you treat strangers.


Don’t raise your voice.

Yelling at others does not release pressure; it adds to it. It turns off the person with whom you are trying to communicate. In a disagreement, remain calm and say with a smile, if possible, “I don’t agree.” Even if this makes you feels odd, it doesn’t make you a phony. It takes practice.


Don’t get physical.

Acting out your anger (slamming doors, hitting) doesn’t quench the anger; it makes your anger leap to another level.


Listen.

Angry people tend to argue, usually pointlessly, with people they are around the most (friends and family). If you are listening to people, you should be able to repeat what they are saying.


Don’t exaggerate.

Be specific about a problem you are trying to solve and the true frequency of its occurrence. Avoid saying phrases like “I’ve told you a million times,” etc.


Avoid absolutes.

If the person with whom you are arguing hears you saying he is “always” this or “never” that, what chance do you think he/she’ll agree with you?


Stick to the facts.

If you are upset about someone being inconsiderate or not inviting you along for lunch, say so (if only to yourself). Don’t think or say something like, “You never think of me.” Name your feelings about the facts. For example say: “You told a story about me to other people that embarrassed me.”


Don’t call names.

This only produces more anger and makes it hard for the other person to back down. Once harsh words leave your mouth, they can’t be taken back. Even after the argument or conflict is over, your relationship with the person you called derogatory names will probably never be the same.


Don’t mock.

What good can come of belittling someone by caricaturing his behavior or by using an exaggerated tone to distort his/her words?


Memorize your escape.

If an argument escalates and you feel you can’t continue calmly, smile and say, “Let’s stop and talk about this another time.” Then, stop talking and resist the temptation to have the final word.


Don’t take hostages.

If someone wants to leave an argument, let him/her. Don’t block an exit.


Say: “You may be right.”

You may not believe it, but saying this sends the message that you have an open mind.


Don’t make major decisions when you are angry.

Making a decision to spite someone else will only hurt you. If you’re upset, give yourself a few days before making any major decisions. Wait until you can rationally ask yourself how you will benefit from your decision.

©2002 Josephson Institute of Ethics

Anger Management Wolverine Wednesday 3/18/15. Anger What are some things that make you angry? How do you express your anger?

Documents

anger leap

anger management wolverine

dont mock

angry people

hisher words

harsh words

derogatory names

exaggerated tone