JACKSONVILLE · ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS A global treasure that has delighted three generations of fans, comes to the big screen for the first time. The live-action/CGI motion picture

free weekly guide to entertainment and more | december 13 - 19, 2007 | www.eujacksonville.com

Last Minute Gift Guide | Michelle’s Southern Home Cooking | The Heat is On with Rita Hayworth | Jim Brickman Interview

JACKSONVILLE

heat up the holidays

2 december 13-19, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper

eujacksonville.com | december 13-19, 2007 3

table of contentsfeatureHoliday Events ...............................................................................................PAGES 13-14Last Minute Gifts ............................................................................................PAGES 15-19

moviesMovies in Theaters this Week ...........................................................................PAGES 6-10Alvin & The Chipmunks (movie review).................................................................... PAGE 6I Am Legend (movie review) .................................................................................... PAGE 7The Perfect Holiday (movie review) ......................................................................... PAGE 8FireTrail (movie review) ........................................................................................... PAGE 9Me Again Productions (local film director spotlight) ............................................... PAGE 10

homeNetscapades ......................................................................................................... PAGE 12Videogames ......................................................................................................... PAGE 12

dishDish Update .......................................................................................................... PAGE 20Michelle’s Home Cooking (restaurant review) .................................................PAGES 20-21Ghetto Gourmet .................................................................................................... PAGE 21

musicMusic Calendar ..............................................................................................PAGES 22-26Jim Brickman (interview) ....................................................................................... PAGE 22Machina (interview) .............................................................................................. PAGE 23Conrad Oberg (interview) ...................................................................................... PAGE 24Rock for the Rescue (5 Points Theatre) ................................................................. PAGE 25

arts / theatre / on stageThe Heat Is On (FCCJ Artist Series) ....................................................................... PAGE 26Downtown Church Tour ........................................................................................ PAGE 27The Pillowman (Orpheus Theatre Group) ............................................................... PAGE 28O. Henry Christmas (ABET) ................................................................................... PAGE 29

columns and stuffNative Foreigner .................................................................................................... PAGE 30The Jock ............................................................................................................... PAGE 30NASCAR News & Notes ........................................................................................ PAGE 31

cover photo from The heaT is On (see page 26 for story)


thisweekthursday december 13

saturday december 15

friday december 14

december 14 - 16

Sleeping beauty on Ice Magnificent costumes, fantastic choreography and music by Tchaikovsky combine art and storybook entertainment with the tradition of world ballet in “Sleeping Beauty.” Under the direction of former principal dancer and choreographer of the Kirov ballet, Konstantin Rassadin, this performance blends many art forms to create a magical rendition of this classic tale that will be cherished by all ages. Tickets: $28-$38/general admission, $10/UNF students. UNF Fine Arts Center- 7:30 pm, Info: unf.edu/fineartscenter

The Holiday Hate Tour with Psychostick Straight out of Tempa, Arizona, Psychostick is a tongue-in-cheek metal act with songs about busted cars (‘Two-Ton Paperweight’), sex (‘Orgasm = Love’) and the real reason why musicians get together (‘In a Band to Get Chicks’). The band will spread the anti-holiday cheer with guests Indorphine and Screaming Mechanical Brain. Tickets: $10. Jack Rabbits- 8 pm, Info: (904) 398-7496

The Packway Handle bandOriginating in Athens, Georgia in 2001, the Packway Handle Band is a solid and innovative bluegrass quintet. The band’s appeal lies rooted in tight three- and four-part vocal harmonies, extensive and progressive original material, off-the-wall covers, and energetic performances. European Street Listening Room- Info: 399-1740

Actionville Noise cotillionIf you’re bored with the sounds you usually hear, check out this wicked crazy show featuring OFTEN (Ultra sadistic guitar and glass ensemble!), The Slightest (Optometry informed noizlectro!), Jameson Williams (Smooth saxophone jams 4 the grown and sexy!), Fiver’s Stereo (SPACE RABBITZ!!!), Silent Auction(Islamofascist breakcore shaving cream advertisements!), Acid Michael (Contemplative modern raving!) and Lissajou (Destroys everything with his giant ass laser!). 9th & Main in Springfield, show starts at 8 pm.

Johnny WinterFor over 30 years, Johnny Winter has constantly shifted between simple country blues in the vein of Robert Johnson, to all-out electric slide guitar blues-rock. Winter, an international ambassador for rocking Texas blues, is still going strong. See him live this week with special guest Seth Walker. Tickets: $20. Freebird Live- 8 pm, Info: (904) 246-BIRD

mad HappyMad Happy is a guy/girl electronic duo with a distinctive sound, blending electro, hip-hop, folk, and pop. Drawing on a rainbow of influences, from Hasidic folk melodies to Public Enemy to Hank Williams, Nina Simone, Madonna and Sly Stone, the band twists it all up into electro-pop/hip-hop. Mad Happy’s live show is tight, energetic and emotionally charged. According to their website, the charismatic pair can start a party anywhere. TSI Discotheque in downtown, Info: (904) 424-3531 or visit clubtsi.com.

AntarcticJacksonville is buzzing about this band. The post rock quartet is playing a house show with Alligator and The Sky Went Black. Misdemeanor Manor. 2218 Myra St in Riverside.

big Sam’s Funky NationPresiding over his Funky Nation is Big Sam, formerly the trombonist for the Dir ty Dozen Brass Band, who blows the funk out of his trombone and refuses to let the audience sit still. Between solos and trombone riffs, Big Sam gets the crowd going both in movement and in replies to his call-and-response MC-style. Mojo Kitchen, Jacksonville Beach- 10 pm, Info: (904) 247-6636

Sesame Street Live: ready for ActionSesame Street Live has been wowing kids (and their parents) for 28 years with their high-energy, education-disguised-as-fun stage shows. In this hygiene-focused adventure, Super Grover has lost his superness and it’s up to Elmo, Rosita, and all the Sesame Street friends, along with First Coast audiences, to help their loveable pal find it. Through song and dance, children will learn about healthy habits. The production begins this Friday and will run through Sunday. Tickets: $12-$26. Moran Theater, Times Union Center, Info: sesamestreetlive.com

The XXX-mas massacreHo ho hosted by Daddy’s Little Princess this poorly publicized rock show features Jonathan Appleseed, The Loons and, of course, Daddy’s Little Princess. Get your radio rock fix and drink enough beer to forget the whole thing by morning. Fuel Coffeehouse

2007 Jingle bell run Imagine the sounds of hundreds of thousands of bells jingling as people from coast to coast run, walk and cheer in the Arthritis Foundation’s Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis. Across the country, bells will be ringing as people like you tie jingle bells to their shoelaces, don festive holiday costumes and join friends and neighbors in support of the Arthritis Foundation’s mission to prevent, control and cure arthritis and related diseases. The Jacksonville Landing- 2:30 pm, Info: 07jacksonville.kintera.org

dr’s Lake and Swimming Pen creek Lighted boat ParadeWhitey’s Fish Camp will be hosting the 5th annual lighted boat parade this Saturday. Get bundled up and head to Whitey’s to see this spectacular display float by. Whitey’s Fish Camp- 6 pm, Info: (904) 269-4198

The Heat Is On! Following 35 sold-out shows in Athens Greece, 25 sold-out shows in California, and numerous sell-outs from NYC to Florida, The Heat Is On! celebrates the life, loves and career of Hollywood’s most electrifying redhead, Rita Hayworth. Expect to hear some of Hayworth’s most unforgettable hit songs including ‘Bewitched,’ ‘Steppin Out,’ ‘Put the Blame on Mame,’ ‘The Lady is a Tramp,’ and many more. A can’t miss theatrical evening for every fan of great standards, romance and Hollywood spice. Tickets: $35-$40. Wilson Center for the Arts, FCCJ South Campus- 4 pm and 8 pm, Info: 632-3373 (read the story on page 26)

Big Sam’s Funky Nation

Sesame Street Live

Psychostick

next thursday december 20


monday december 17

sunday december 16

wednesday december 19

tuesday december 11

Holiday Pops concertMembers of the Jacksonville Symphony, Vernon Humbert, conductor and Rhonda Hambright, soprano, will perform a concert to benefit the locked-out musicians of the Jacksonville Symphony Players’ Association. Admission is free but tax deductible donations will be accepted. New Life Christian Fellowship, 2701 Hodges Blvd. – 7:30 pm. Info: www.jsomusicians.org

Urban Jacksonville blog PartyLocal celeb, active blogger and friend to EU Joey Marchy will be hosting one heck of a party this Saturday at TSI. Hear some great local music by Airport Factory and Buffalo Tears, score some free goodies and be confident that, of all the things happening this weekend, you’re at the coolest event in town. Admission: $2 before 9 pm. TSI- 7 to 10 pm, Info: (904) 424-3531

The Florida ballet Presents The NutcrackerIt wouldn’t be the holiday season without the Nutcracker! See the Florida Ballet’s annual performance of this timeless tale this weekend. Tickets: $21-$26. Florida Theatre, Info: (904) 355-2787

december 14 - 15

“Winter blitz” Get into the holiday spirit and give to a wonderful cause. Now in its fifth year, the “Winter Blitz”, a Ballroom and Latin holiday dance show, will benefit the Wolfson Children’s Hospital. This fun and festive event features the teachers and students of Kaluby’s Dance Club performing the Tango, Cha-Cha, Swing, Waltz and more. Tickets: $10. FCCJ’s Wilson Center for the Arts- 2 pm to 4 pm, Info: (904) 338-9200

‘A Nightmare before X-mas’ Five Points charity ball, Art and Film FestThe evening line-up will feature short-films by 3M Productions, a comedy performance by Joel Land, a surprise musical guest and silent auction. Various works of art by local artists will also be on display throughout the venue. Highlighted artists include: Jason Wright, Shawn Thurston, Nick Wagner, Kyle Miller, Rod Crews and many more. All proceeds will be donated to Toys for Tots, Bosom Buddies and the Jacksonville Humane Society. Guests are encouraged to dress in costume or masquerade in the style of ‘Nightmare Before X-Mas,’ a theme that brings Halloween back in the month of December. Complimentary food and beverages will also be served. Tickets: $10 at door, $5 with a toy to donate. Fuel Coffeehouse- 7 pm, Info: (904) 358-8222

One Small Step for Landmines One Small Step for Landmines crank out angular-yet-driving guitars lines and unforgettable melodies, building massively catchy songs around jazzy, rapid-fire drums and a propulsive bass line. This Florida three piece is dynamically compelling as they are unpredictable and explosive. See them live on Monday with Valkyrie, Trains Followed Us, Matlock, and This Waking Moment. Tickets: $6. Jack Rabbits, Info: (904) 398-7496

machina Machina is a new generation of intricate, multilayered rock; a melodic blend of alternative post-grunge fused with new metal. Originally from Little Rock, Arkansas, the band is comprised of members from the bands Future Leaders of the World, Evanescence and Morningside. See them this Wednesday with Blistur and Empyrean. Tickets: $8. The French Quarter- 8 pm, Info: (904)732-9550 (read our interview on page 23)

Jim brickmanFor over a decade, Jim Brickman’s holiday concerts have been musical homecomings for fans of the dynamic composer, recording artist, radio personality and concert headliner. His latest holiday album Homecoming is all about returning to the simple traditions of the season. Hear Brickman’s latest work and some of his new holiday classics live next Thursday. Tickets: $38.50. Florida Theatre- 8 pm, Info: (904) 355-2787 (read the interview on page 22)


MOVIES OPENINGALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS A global treasure that has delighted three generations of fans, comes to the big screen for the first time. The live-action/CGI motion picture event brings together the celebrated history of its beloved characters - Dave Seville and singing chipmunks Alvin, Simon and Theodore - adding a new comic sensibility and edge. The squeaky-voiced trio and Dave Seville made recording, broad-casting and merchandising history - selling 43 million albums, winning several Grammys®, and headlining an animated prime time series, numerous TV specials, and a top-rated Saturday morning series seen in over 100 countries and translated into 40 languages. Starring: Jason Lee, David Cross, Cameron Richardson, Justin Long. Rating: PG

THE PERFECT HOLIDAY An African American take on the classic and beloved Christmas family film, ‘The Perfect Holiday’ tells the story of Nan-cy (Union), a divorced mother of three who is so busy raising her children that she’s forgotten to take care of herself as well. With Christmas fast approaching, she decides to take her kids to the mall to meet Santa Claus, not knowing that her youngest daughter Emily (Khail Bryant) has sensed her mother¹s sadness and is determined to use her time with Santa to make her mom happy again. Just a few days prior, Emily heard her mom say that all she wanted for Christmas was a compliment from a man, so that’s exactly what she tells Santa. Ironically, Santa, as it turns out, is office supply salesman and struggling songwriter Benjamin (Chestnut), who ends up giving Nancy just what she wants for Christmas, and much, much more. Starring: Morris Chest-nut, Gabrielle Union, Queen Latifah, Terrence Howard. Rating: PG.

I AM LEGEND Robert Neville (Will Smith) is a brilliant scientist, but even he could not contain the terrible virus that was unstoppable, incur-able, and man-made. Somehow immune, Neville is now the last human survivor in what is left of New York City and maybe the world. For three years, Neville has faithfully sent out daily radio messages, desperate to find any other survivors who might be out there. But he is not alone. Mu-tant victims of the plague—The Infected—lurk in the shadows…watching Neville’s every move…waiting for him to make a fatal mistake. Perhaps mankind’s last, best hope, Neville is driven by only one remaining mission: to find a way to reverse the effects of the virus using his own immune blood. But he knows he is outnum-bered…and quickly running out of time. Starring: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan, Salli Rich-ardson-Whitfield. Rating: PG-13.

NOW SHOWINGAMERICAN GANGSTER Based on the life of drug-kingpin-turned-informant, Frank Lucas, who grew up in segregated North Carolina. He

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C- Rated PG 91 min.

I will never fail to be surprised by the things that enthrall American culture. From the pet rock to Jimmy Buffet, Americans love the inane creations that take no actual skill to create, other than creative marketing. Ironically, Alvin and the Chipmunks is one of these creations and the new film addresses them in just such a way. I first became enthralled with David Seville’s Alvin and the Chipmunks when I was about eight years old. My family lived in New England at the time and it was around Christmas when Alvin and the Chipmunks’ famous ‘The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late),’ with their sped-up harmonies and silly repartee with manager David Seville first got me. It was the ultimate mixture of childish silliness and Christmas cheer and I loved it. As people had since the first album of David Seville and the Chipmunks. David Seville was the stage name of musician Ross Bagdasarian, Sr, who originated the novelty style of speeding up recordings to create the chipmunk-like sound. Alvin, Simon and Theodore were Bagdarian’s vocalizations, just pitch-adjusted to varying degrees. Of course Bagdarian was also David Seville. The characters were originally

introduced on albums in the late 1950s and they earned several Grammy awards, believe it or not. These fictional characters extended their fame further in an animated series in the 1960s called The Alvin Show. The Alvin Show was predecessor to many cartoon series based on the animated trio and their perpetually agitated father figure, David Seville, including Alvin and the Chipmunks, the popular Saturday morning cartoon that I watched growing up in the eighties, with a theme song that will never escape my brain. As Hollywood rummaged through their recycling bins looking for an exhausted franchise that could be brought back to life with CGI effects, they came across this old gem and saw dollar signs. And so the troublesome trio has made their way back into the hearts and minds of children with their silly novelty songs and their tumultuous relationship with David Seville, not to mention the heartwarming Christmas message of a mixed family. In a surprisingly smart casting job for such a dumbed-down script, David Seville is played by Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl) and the typically self-involved head of Jett Records, the label that monopolizes on the phenomenon of the singing chipmunks, is played by David Cross (Dr. Funke

from Arrested Development). Both of these actors are fantastic funnymen that have historically made good cinematic choices, more or less, but the big screen version of Alvin and the Chipmunks may well be a low point for each of their careers. Although I will admit that David Cross’ record executive that wears a suit and sandals is a hilarious mock up of the capitalizing entertainment industry executives, it doesn’t quit segue the film into the adult humor that it attempts. Cross’ character (referred to by the Chipmunks as Uncle Ian) plays up merchandising opportunities and updates the Chipmunks’ songs to be more hip-hop and less heartwarming, thus the industry parodies itself. I appreciated this attempt to incorporate the parents that will be bringing their children to this film, but it was too little and too poorly executed to really engage me. That said, my children loved the movie. The novelty schtick of Alvin and the Chipmunks is still endearing to children the way it always was. Those voices are just so cute and when Alvin (voiced by Justin Long, “Mac” in the Apple television commercials) is smarting off, Simon is outsmarting and Theodore (voiced by teenage heartthrob Jesse McCartney) wants David to be his dad, kids warm right up to it. And the singing rodents have never been more real than in this CGI rendering. And of course that troublemaking Alvin incurs the signature scream from David Seville that has been the trademark of the franchise since their first record in 1958. Kids love Alvin, Simon and Theodore as much now as they did half way through last century, and this film is no exception. Try to enjoy David Cross’ ridiculous Uncle Ian in nuance and dialogue, or just take a nap in the theatre and let the kids laugh up the antics.

‘munks in da hizouseAlvin & The Chipmunks updated and outdatedby jon bosworth [email protected]

eventually made his way to Harlem where he became a heroin kingpin by traveling to Asia’s Golden Triangle to make connections, shipping heroin back to the US in the coffins of soldiers killed in Vietnam. He soon made upwards of one million dollars a day in drug sales. Lucas was shadowed by lawman, Richie Roberts, who finally helped bring the kingpin to justice. The two then worked together to expose the crooked cops and foreign nationals who made importing heroin so easy. Starring: Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Josh Brolin, Common , Ted Levine. Rating: R

AUGUST RUSH A charismatic young Irish guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a shel-tered young cellist (Keri Russell) have a chance encounter one magical night above New York’s Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, orphaned by circumstance. Years later, performing on the streets of New York and cared for by a mysteri-ous stranger (Robin Williams) who gives him the name August Rush, the child (Freddie Highmore) uses his remarkable musical talent to seek the parents from whom he was separated at bir th. Rating: PG.

AWAKE A psychological thriller about a com-mon occurrence called “anesthetic awareness,” a horrifying phenomenon wherein a patient’s (Hayden Christensen) failed anesthesia leaves him fully conscious but physically paralyzed during surgery. The patient’s charming new wife (Jessica Alba) is forced to struggle with her own demons as a terrifying drama unfolds around the couple. Starring: Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba, Terrence Howard, Lena Olin. Rating: R.

BEE MOVIE Barry B. Benson is a graduate bee fresh out of college who is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a rare trip outside the hive, Barry’s life is saved by Van-essa, a florist in New York City. As their relation-ship blossoms, he discovers humans are mass consumers of honey and decides to sue the human race for stealing bees’ honey. Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Chris Rock, Ray Liotta, Mark Moseley. Rating: PG

BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD Master filmmaker Sidney Lumet directs this absorbing suspense thriller about a family fac-ing the worst enemy of all - itself. Oscar-winner Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Andy, an over-extended broker who lures his younger brother, Hank (Ethan Hawke), into a larcenous scheme: the pair will rob a suburban mom-and-pop jew-elry store. The problem is, the store owners are Andy and Hank’s actual mom and pop and, when the seemingly perfect crime goes awry, the dam-age lands right at their doorstep. Oscar-winner Marisa Tomei plays Hoffman’s trophy wife and Albert Finney. Rating: R

BELLA A man whose life is about to be changed forever discovers that sometimes it takes losing it all to finally appreciate the things that truly matter in director Alejandro Monte-verde’s emotional tale of self discovery. Rating: PG-13

BEOWULF Director Robert Zemeckis (‘The Polar Express’) and graphic novelist Neil Gaiman (the ‘Sandman’ series) team up for this highly anticipated, performance-capture adaptation of the Old English epic poem. When the young war-


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B Rated PG-13 114 min. After viewing this film, I asked a pertinent rhetorical question – could it be construed as just another zombie movie? Yes, but it’s a new slant on the pandemic plague movie genre. Directed by Fran-cis Lawrence, “the infected” mutant zombies in this picture are still a threat to protagonist Robert Neville (Will Smith), although, for some inexplicable reason, he is immune to the vicious man-made virus that wiped out most of humanity.

The virus kills everyone around Neville as he watches helplessly. He ends up a lonely man, his trusty dog his only companion. His great fear is that he is the last human on earth not infected by the virus. However, before long he realizes he is not alone. There are mutants–the infected–milling about, mentally and physically altered by the plague. These hyper-predators hunt in packs with vicious cunning, like rabid wolves. Since Neville’s a genetic scientist, he is work-ing on a cure. But Neville has other more pressing problems, namely how to survive in this new hostile world. He broadcasts a message everyday at noon on all radio frequencies, trying to find other survi-vors. Meanwhile, he shoots game and grows corn to survive. During this time, he tries to figure out how to use his own blood to develop a vaccine. Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman’s screenplay cleverly uses action variations of the zombie concept as Neville struggles daily for his livelihood. One could say this is more of an action movie, using the fear of zombies as a suspenseful

hook. Nonetheless, there are the obligatory explo-sions and running-for-his-life scenes. Neville is always running, hunting and using his heightened survival instincts to get through each day. Mean-while, the mutants are shadowing him as prey. And, of course, as every zombie movie fan knows, one can’t reason with mutants–just blow their heads off. As Robert Neville, Will Smith carries the film with his physical acting and strong lens presence. Smith turned in an impressive solo performance of a man thrust into an alien world. He has to use his intelligence and will to survive to overcome his own fears and insecurities against all odds. The script greatly expands the zombie movie concept with bleak urban vistas and apocalyptic scenes of desola-tion in a world without humans. Everywhere one looks, the city is dying from neglect and the buzz of humanity’s footprints. It’s frighteningly peaceful dur-ing the day, but terrifying at night as the mutants and other creatures come out to hunt. Neville has to deal with this new world the best he can, while searching for a cure to the virus. The movie’s post-apocalyptic world plays on everyone’s fears of Armageddon. An attack with a man-made virus that has no cure released on the worldwide population keeps anti-terrorist special-ists awake at night. This fear is the basis for I Am

Legend. The Great Plague pandemic killed a million people in Europe in 1665. The flu pandemic killed millions in 1918. But a genetically engineered virus released into the atmosphere would indeed be cata-strophic. These super-bugs are all but impossible to stop. It would be far worse than global thermo-nuclear war.

Unlike most post-apocalyptic movies, too numerous to mention, Lawrence’s fast-paced action combined with Will Smith’s savvy performance cre-ates an exciting big budget film. Cue zombies and let the games begin as Neville is the ultimate “Survivor-man” in New York City with his dog and M-16. We can only pray that this film isnot prophetic.

humanity’s last hope, the fresh princeI Am Legendby rick grant [email protected]


rior Beowulf (Ray Winstone) travels to a neigh-boring kingdom and slays the monster Grendel (Crispin Glover), he is hailed as a hero. But before long, Beowulf must face an even deadlier foe: Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie), who seeks vengeance for the loss of her son. The film also stars Anthony Hopkins as King Hrothgar, Robin Wright Penn as Queen Wealtheow and John Mal-kovich as Unferth. Rating: PG-13

ENCHANTED Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) lives in the blissful cartoon world of Andalasia, where magical beings frolic freely and musical interludes punctuate every interaction. Though Princess Giselle is currently engaged to be mar-ried to the handsome Prince Edward (James Marsden), her fate takes a turn for the worse when the villainous Queen Narissa (Susan Saran-don) banishes her to the unforgiving metropolis of New York City. As the cruelty of the big city soon begins to wear down the fairy-tale exterior of the once carefree princess, the frightened Giselle soon finds herself falling for a friendly but flawed divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsey) whose kind compassion has helped her to survive in this strange and dangerous new world. Rating: PG

FRED CLAUS Dealing with family around the holidays can suck -- especially when you’re San-ta Claus (Paul Giamatti) and your older brother Fred (Vince Vaughn) is a a newly out-of-jail con artist with a penchant for elf-tossing. Rating: PG

THE GOLDEN COMPASS Based on author Philip Pullman’s bestselling and award-winning novel,’The Golden Compass’ tells the first story in Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. ‘The Golden Compass’ is an exciting fantasy adventure, set in an alternative world where people’s souls mani-fest themselves as animals, talking bears fight wars, and Gyptians and witches co-exist. At the center of the story is Lyra (played by newcomer Dakota Blue Richards), a 12-year-old girl who starts out trying to rescue a friend who’s been kidnapped by a mysterious organization known as the Gobblers - and winds up on an epic quest to save not only her world, but ours as well. ‘The Golden Compass’ stars an ensemble cast that includes Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Sam Elliott, and Ian McShane. Rating: PG-13

HITMAN An international assassin known only as Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) carries out high-profile hits for a mysterious organization known only as “The Agency” in this adaptation of the popular Eidos Interactive video-game series. Rat-ing: R

THE MIST Frequent Stephen King collaborator Frank Darabont teams with the celebrated horror author once again for this tale of a terror based on a story originally published in King’s 1985 horror anthology Skeleton Crew, and concern-ing a small town engulfed by a malevolent mist. When a thick fog descends upon a typical sub-urban community and claims the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught outside, a small band of survivors seeks refuge in a local grocery store. Now trapped in a darkened cloud of pure horror, the frightened denizens of the town are forced to fend off an advancing horde of mur-derous monsters. Punisher star Thomas Jane heads up an ensemble cast that includes Andre Braugher and Laurie Holden. Rating: R

MR. MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM What’s a 243-year-old, madcap inventor (Dustin

D Rated PG 96 min Every holiday season there is a rash of schlocky product aimed at people who lose all rea-son and live in some sort of Christmas fantasy. Of

course, this movie is designed to entertain African-American viewers. Writer/director Lance Rivera calls his film “the first African American ensemble com-edy of the season.” Did he forget that in November

This Christmas already claimed that distinction? Nonetheless, all the black stereotypes were in place to make another lame Christmas movie. The characters are as stale as year-old fruitcake, with the obligatory self-absorbed rap artist J-Jizzy (Charlie Murphy) as ex-husband to Nancy (Gabrielle Union) who is dating nice guy Benjamin (Morris Chestnut). In this “ensemble” sitcom world, Nancy’s oldest son, John-John wants a dad for Christmas, so he asks Santa, who happens to be played by Benjamin, to get rid of his mom’s boyfriend (that would be him). Benjamin is trying to win over the boy but is not having any luck. So this sets off the predictable family situation comedy that has been done to death in other black ensembles on television and in the movies. The sets are over decorated with everything Christmas to further overstate the obvious – this dysfunctional family will solve their problems before Christmas eve, so everyone will be in a warm and cuddly mood for the season. Queen Latifah turns up as a sort of Greek chorus of one – a person with magic powers. Terrence Howard plays a bumbling idiot named Bah Humbug. Director Rivera made sure that every black family issue would be addressed and dealt with during the running time.

Naturally, since some time has passed since Nancy had a date, she is searching for a man to re-place her obnoxious ex-husband J-Jizzy, who could care less about his kids. But when he hears that she has a boyfriend, he suddenly shows up at the house to give her his alimony check. Meanwhile, Nancy meets hunk-of-burning-love Benjamin who tells her he sells office supplies, when in fact, he’s working as Santa in a department store. He also is a budding singer songwriter. There is no plausible reason why he lied to Nancy, but it comes back to haunt him when one of his songs is bought by J-Jizzy to put on his Christmas album. Ah yes, this artificial “tension” falls flat, leaving the viewer dumbfounded. The excrement hits the fan when J-Jizzy finds out that Benjamin, who recorded for his album, is Nancy’s boyfriend. She finds out that Benjamin is a liar at the same time. Now, Benjamin is a sad sack loser in his sagging Santa suit. What a bummer. But wait, there is no way that Rivera is going to allow an unhappy ending in this saccharine comedy. Of course, the hook of the premise is held together by Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union – two excep-tionally good looking actors who work well together. John-John who tries to break up Benjamin and Nan-cy is a bit old to still believe in Santa’s cosmic pow-ers. But when he finds out his dad is a selfish jerk, he wants to reverse his request that Santa intervene in his mom’s love life by staying away from her. With all the powers invested in her, Queen Latifah intervenes on behalf of Benjamin and John-John. Yes, with viewers high on eggnog eating this schmaltz up, Rivera goes for the jugular by milking every drop of gushing sentimentality from each scene, leaving Chestnut and Union looking like pup-pets on strings. As a holiday movie, this film doesn’t even rank as palatable. It’s like opening a present and finding a cheap tie–a bitter disappointment.

The Perfect Holiday

yo ho ho noby rick grant [email protected]


F Rated NR 180 min This movie is so bad that it immediately turns into self-parody–an unintentional comedy. Call it Blazing Petticoats. How bad is it? Ah, let me count the ways. Based on Clay County resident Lydia Hawke’s romance novel set in the last stages of the Civil War in Columbia, South Carolina, the script is poorly written, the acting is wooden, the cinematog-raphy is uninspired, with stark lighting (no subtlety or shading), and it abounds with cheesy makeup and effects. You can see the palm prints on actors’ faces where the makeup was carelessly applied. Before ten minutes of film rolls by, a hapless viewer would cry out, “You can’t be serious!” Directed by Christopher Forbes, this film could be a contender for the worst film ever made, competing with such classics as Plan 9 from Outer Space. And, with a 3 hour run time, the movie could be used as a form of torture. The victim would plead with his captors to please don’t start up the second DVD. Another alternative – it could be a movie for the bong crowd to goof on. Hey, I was sober and I laughed ‘till I cried. Yes, it’s hard to believe someone actually spent money shooting this debacle. Worse yet, they didn’t realize it was a cinematic train wreck. It isn’t Ford’s first Civil War film either, he also wrote and directed a film from the Dixie side of the Civil War called The Battle of Aiken, which is certain to be equally as bad. FireTrail takes place during Sherman’s scorched earth march through the South, destroying every-thing. The cinematographer loved shooting buildings burning with shadows in front, a pathetic reference to Gone with the Wind Hawke’s protagonist is Blake Winberry, a Confederate cavalry Captain who is transferred from the Virginia front to defend his home state of South Carolina. When he arrives home he finds out his fian-

cee has taken up with another man–a cowardly draft dodger. But in the opening scene, Capt. Winberry rescues a damsel in distress, Judith Rogers who is fending off a gang of highwaymen with her trusty Colt six-shooter. Judith recently lost her husband in the war and Captain Winberry is instantly smitten by her. Yeah, we know where this is headed. Captain Winberry moves quickly to ask Judith to marry him so he can get a little nooky before go-ing back to the front. The hastily arranged shack-up, oops, I mean wedding, has scandalized the family, but dammit, there’s a war on and everyone could be dead tomorrow. So let Captain Winberry and Judith have their fun. General Sherman is closing in on Columbia, South Carolina. Burn baby burn, as more shots of buildings burning turn the viewer’s brain into mush. “Oh look, fire–oh my God their cheap sets are burning up,” I mumbled. The movie’s comedic value includes the worst acting I’ve witnessed in my entire 23 year career of reviewing movies. The actors utter their lines like robots. It’s hilarious. The fake Southern accents are even funnier. In one scene, the woman of the house is secretly hoping that she will be violated by the ma-rauding Union troops. “Oh my, do you think I will get violated?” she asks rhetorically. “Uh, maybe if you’re lucky,” I heckled the screen. The only redeeming feature of this movie is Lydia Hawke’s talent at relentless promotion of herself and her projects. I have to commend her for getting the movie made and shown in theaters, de-spite its wretchedness. Hey, maybe it was intended to be a sly satire? It did make me laugh hysterically. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This movie could be used as an example of bad filmmaking, shown to film students who would be assigned to write papers on its many flaws. It may make a good gag gift. If you’re interested, order your DVD at lydiahawke.us.

local author’s first filmFireTrail, a cinematic train wreckby rick grant [email protected]


Hoffman) have to do to keep his magical toy shop in business? Enlisting an enthusiastic young manager (Natalie Portman) is a good start, but there’s still a stuffy accountant (Jason Bateman) trying to rain on their magic parade. Rating: G

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN The story begins when Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) finds a pickup truck surrounded by a sentry of dead men. A load of heroin and two million dollars in cash are still in the back. When Moss takes the money, he sets off a chain reaction of catastrophic violence that not even the law - in the person of aging, disil-lusioned Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) - can contain. As Moss tries to evade his pursuers - in particular a mysterious mastermind who flips coins for human lives (Javier Bardem) . Rating: R

NOELLE Father Jonathan Keene - a cold, impa-tient Catholic priest arrives in a tiny fishing village the week before Christmas to do what he does best: shut down a dying parish. But things take an unexpected turn as he becomes entangled in the various lives of the village’s eccentric characters, including their beautiful librarian, the childlike priest he is displacing, and the magi-cal experience of Mrs. Worthington’s legendary Christmas Party, where everyone is welcome and anything is possible. Starring: David Wall, Sean Patrick Brennan, Kerry Brennan, Brennan Wall, Jean Bates. Rating: PG

THIS CHRISTMAS This year, Christmas with the Whitfields promises to be one they will never forget. All the siblings have come home for the first time in years and they’ve brought plenty of baggage with them. As the Christmas tree is trimmed and the lights are hung, secrets are re-vealed and family bonds are tested. As their lives converge, they join together and help each other discover the true meaning of family. Starring: Laz Alonzo, Chris Brown, Columbus Short, Mekhi Phifer. Rating: PG-13

SPECIAL SHOWINGSIMAX TheaterWorld Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater brings back holiday favorites, “The Polar Express” and “Happy Feet” to its 80-foot-wide by six-story-high screen. The POLAR EXPRESS will open Fri-day, Dec. 14 and tells the story of a boy battling with the belief of Santa Claus’ existence. The film takes audiences on the boy’s extraordinary journey to the North Pole with the train’s conduc-tor (voice of Tom Hanks) where he receives an extraordinary gift only those who still believe in Santa can experience. HAPPY FEET will open Monday, Dec. 17 and it tells the story of a little penguin, Mumble, who is the worst singer in the world and in his world, you’re nobody unless you can sing. However, Mumble was born dancing to his own tune…tap dancing. The film features the recognizable voices of Robin Williams, Nicole Kidman and more. The 2D World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater is located at World Golf Village in St. Augustine, Fla. For tickets and showtimes, call (904) 940-IMAX or visit www.wgv.com.

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Jacksonville is beginning to build a filmmaking community. Local indie filmmakers and writers work cooperatively to form a community in which they can bounce things off each other and benefit from their differing areas of expertise. “We all work together,” says Mike Breen of Me Again Productions “I’m helping Patrick Barry [Blue Llama] and his friend Tony Sarte…I help out more on story editing, my strength is writing and directing actors… We all write together we all edit together…Show each other rough cuts…We’d just be at the Starlite and talk shop.” Breen is part of the burgeoning film community. He moved back to Jacksonville from Seattle and then started doing black box theater at 9th & Main as well as TSI. He began writing short films and has been doing that for the past year and a half. So far he’s done 3 shorts, one on his own and two with Damian K. Lahey, who wrote Cocaine Angel. “I have the highest respect for him as a writer and an actor…” says Breen of Lahey. “My job is just to make sure all [his]…stuff plays out right. It’s the biggest opportunity for me.” Breen and Lahey are currently working on sev-eral shorts, which they hope to finish by the end of this year and have ready for the big screen by early next year. “He wants me to do five shorts with him and we’re going to do it as kind of a compilation, called Five Mile Drive. They’re all within the confines of 15 minutes….They’re tragic- comic with this little…scenario, just this little spice of life and I like that.” He’s also working with Lahey on a feature length project, another Jacksonville-based film. Despite the same local ties as Jacksonville, this film will be a departure from Cocaine Angel, with more of a literary bent.

“It’s just totally different. The characters vary from businessmen to…children…teachers. I’m really excited about doing his stuff…As a director, that’s all you want, great material. I don’t think any-one understands how great a writer we have here in our own backyard.” Before moving back to Jacksonville, Breen lived in Seattle, where he racked up some film creds. “I did experimental shorts in Seattle, nothing to write home about, but I got one in the New York Film Festival and the L.A. Festival…God knows how. I think it was basically because it had Anna Faris in it…it’s not something I show people anymore.” You might recognize Anna Faris from the Scary Movie series, which parodies Scream, but she’s also appeared in more serious roles including Brokeback Mountain and Lost in Translation. Breen worked with her just before her career was launched to a new level earlier this decade. Her name and new-found fame helped get Breen play at some of the major festivals. Breen’s just wrapped up his last film here in Jacksonville, Face to Face. He describes that proj-ect as “sort of like a Death of a Salesman for The Internet age…It’s a …clash of culture with a Gen X person versus a Gen Y person, the disconnect that goes on between them.” Speaking with Breen, it’s clear that he wants to help Jacksonville grow a larger community of filmmakers who aren’t afraid to use each other as resources and who have ties to the local community. It’s about artists in a collaborative relationship rather than a competitive one. “We use all local people...We use local musi-cians to do our soundtracks… We just want to build this [local film] community, you know like how Aus-tin did, how Athens and Seattle did with music.”

me again productionslocal indie film director Mike breenby Erin thursby [email protected]

local film spotlight:


december13-19, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper12

netscapades by brenton crozier

videogamesby Norm stovall [email protected]

toys for adults – no, not those kind!

Do you ever get sick of getting your friends, co-workers and family members the typical gift fare? You know, those gifts that basically receive the “thanks but no thanks.” We’ve all given them, received them, re-gifted them and eventually thrown them away. I’ve researched and found those things that you want but have a difficult time spending your hard-earned money on, because they may fall into the frivo-lous column. So put down that sports team ornament, sausage and cheese set and hard cover book that Oprah recommended and feast your eyes on these trivial beauties!

www.3dretro.com

I know your trouble and I can help. Those 24 Season 1 miniatures that you’ve been looking for, they are at 3dretro.com! 3D Retro is an online shop that is the “Home of the Hottest Designer Collect-ibles.” Shop for that person that can’t be pleased and is simply too good for something from Target. From Family Guy bendables and Simpsons figures to Anime figures and wicked awesome T-shir ts, this online shop has all of those things I want, but probably couldn’t bring myself to buy. Bossy Bear any-body? I’ll take two!

mables.com/retro-vintage.php

Some people want a gift that brings them back to their glory days. The days when dialing a phone number took some effort and made a cool noise, the days when red leather jackets with zippers were tres chic, and when big wheels kicked some ass. Mable’s Unique Gifts features a wide array of retro furniture, vintage clothing and sweet hipster décor. From My Little Pony Accessories and disaffected Jesus shower curtains to rotary dial phones and leopard print satin vests, you can take your gift recipient way back.

www.baronbob.com/flyingslingshotmonkey.htm

As the site says, “Plain old slingshots are so passé.” It’s all about slingshot monkey this year. You can take The Amazing Flying Monkey anywhere with you, meaning, bring it to work with you! You’ll be proud to whip this little guy around the office. If you truly have a heart and care about your loved one, don’t leave them in the cold to be mocked and mere spectators to everyone else whipping around their monkeys, get them the incredible slingshot monkey!

www.vinyltoynetwork.com

Vinyl toys are all the buzz right now and the biggest fans are adults. From the vintage characters that dazzled in childhood to original artistry that has been missing from toys for some time, vinyl toys are making a huge statement with an ever-increasing fan base. The Vinyl Toy Network is a great data-base for vinyl toy enthusiasts and those looking for that unique gift for the big kid or fan boy in their life. Some may consider these types of things nerdy or immature, but I would advise you to say “Whatever, why don’t you go get a big cup of shut the heck up,” because they are cramping your style anyway. Vinyl Toy Network features the who’s who of the genre and then some. I would suggest clicking on any number of the featured vendors and exploring their websites. Most of these sites alone are visually stimulating and even aesthetic feats. Take your time to search through the various sites. My particular favorite is mindstyle.com where you will find the sad corporate monkey with a cigar and a bottle of booze…simple minds. The T-shir ts on japanla.com are also quite fabulous. You’ll find that refreshing, original gift you’ve been looking for, just be sure you are shopping for someone who appreciates artistry, originality and humor or doesn’t have a particular affinity for sausage and cheese sets. It’s time to put up or shut up in the good-gift-giving department. After perusing and purchasing from these sites, you may be heralded as the bee’s knees or even possibly, the cat’s meow. Gloat you crafty gift giver, gloat.

Contra 4For Nintendo DS

Contra 4 is finally here, and its gonna kick some asses and take some names. As a true sequel to the side-scrolling NES and arcade games that launched the series into fame, Contra 4 stays true to the formula and is as challenging as ever. Of course, the infamous Konami code will give you some help this time around, but don’t expect me to give it to you. If you don’t have it memorized, its just too bad for you. But let me reiter-ate- this game is HARD. Not hard like “Man, all these levels are gonna take a long time to play through”, but more like “OH MY GOD IF I DIE FROM ANOTHER STUPID RANDOM THING I’M GONNA BASH A HOLE IN THE WALL.” But even in light of this, it’s a great game that really teaches you classic gaming skills such as pat-tern recognition and reaction timing. As far as the atmosphere of the game, the colors are vivid, the action is constant, and your characters are total badasses who are obviously on some futuristic steroids of some kind. Which is cool, because when you are hitching a ride by hanging on a rocket launching itself into space while shooting at bad guys, you pretty much aren’t taking any crap from anybody. The weapons and controls are mostly the same as they were in the originals, so that is good news. The dual-screen play is great and although sometimes it’s a little difficult to watch the top while playing on the bottom, the game is still fun. With plenty of unlockables such as older games in the series like Super C and Probotector, Contra 4 is the perfect thing for nostalgic gamers in need of an adrenaline rush on the go.

aSSaSSin’S CreedFor Xbox 360 and PS3

assassin’s Creed is one of those games that I personally refer to as a masterpiece. Though the game starts a little slow, the amount of detail given to the storyline, the characters, and the environments is stag-gering, and it all comes together to form an amazing narrative that is just as inspiring to look at as it is to play through. The opening screen provides a disclaimer that people from many faiths and schools have contributed to making the game, which pretty much set the tone for the storyline right off the bat. Most of the game takes place in 3 key cities during the third crusade, a period of religious strife between Christians and Muslims. You’ll travel to Damascus, Acre and Jerusalem in the game, and all of these places look amazingly accurate for the time period. As an assassin, it is your character’s goal to eliminate key figures in history that were destined to cause great suffering. While the line between who is guilty and who is innocent is almost always blurred, the reasoning behind your character’s actions is always given with great detail. Though the game does give you the chance to make some moral decisions along the way, the storyline always progress-es in a deliberate, linear way that doesn’t confuse. Though your character’s actions can be flawed and his imperfections are apparent right from the beginning, he is easy enough to like, and playing through the game is an interesting and entertaining experience because of him. The controls of assassin’s Creed are much like Ubisoft’s Prince of Persia, in that your character can move gracefully and with great agility when he needs to. The key element of gameplay here is not really stealth as much as it is blending in, but the game makes this pretty simple to do, and once you get the hang of sneaking and blending in with crowds of people you can really have a lot of fun with it. When you walk in the game, you are given the option to gently push through the crowds, hold your head down and walk slowly as a scholar (your characters clothing mimics this group of people), or run recklessly to your destination. Interacting with people is great fun, and people usually react to you in a realistic way, with dialogue that matches their physical reactions. When it comes to bad guys, the combat in the game is pretty straightfor-ward, and not extremely complicated. In addition to sneaking around to eliminate enemies and fighting, you are also given the opportunity to do things such as eavesdrop, pickpocket important documents, scale amaz-ingly tall buildings, and go horseback riding. It may sound a bit random on paper, but everything works well in context, and when you put the terrific gameplay together with the awesome story, you really do get a great end product.

AssAssin’s Creed


MOSH’s Annual Wreath Auction Looking for that perfect touch to welcome visitors to your door? Bid on festive holiday wreaths of all kinds during the Annual Wreath Auction. Through Dec 18 during museum hours at The Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle on the South bank. For more information call (904) 396-MOSH or visit themosh.org.

Annual Downtown Festival of Trees Running now through January 5th at the Main Library, the Junior League of Jacksonville is proud to announce the 2007 Festival of Trees. Guaranteed fun for the young and young at heart will be found downtown, as the library is transformed into a magical playground. Visit jlweb.org/Jack-sonville for specific events, related to the Fest. Children’s Story Time and Craft Hour & Holiday Lecture Series will also be held throughout the month. Main Library, 303 North Laura Street. Info: juniorleagueofjax.org or (904) 387-9927.

A Christmas Carole at the Hippodrome November 23rd -December 24th (adapted by Mary Hausch). Gaines-ville has traditions too, and the Hippodrome’s 30th Annual Production of A Christmas Carole is one of them. Join Scrooge, the Cratchits and all the usual ghosties. Dazzling special effects have made this a popular holiday “thing” down in the land of the Gators. Info: (352) 375-HIPP or thehipp.org. Location: 25 SE 2nd pl, Gainesville, FL.

First Coast Winter Lights in Clay County A drive-thru light display, ice skating, drive in movies and more at the Reynolds Park Yacht Center in Green Cove Springs through January 1. Location: 1063 Bulkhead Road in Green Cove Springs. Call (904) 284.4667 or visit rpyc.info for more information.

Nights of Lights More than two million tiny white lights will glow along the ancient streets and historic build-ings of the Nation’s oldest city as the 14th Annual Nights of Lights celebration sparkles to life in Downtown St. Augustine through Jan. 31.

Winter Wonderland Slide into a Winter Wonderland at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre and test your skills on a large ice skating rink while it really snows, visit the elf village and see Santa Claus himself! Enjoy sleigh rides through lit nature trails, holiday shopping, children’s storybook readings, s’mores on an open fire and Theatre St. Augustine’s performance of O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre at select times through January 6th. 1340 A1A South, Info: (904) 471-1965 or visit staugamphitheatre.com.

Santaland Diaries at MOCA Jacksonville From the humiliating interviews and elf indoctrination to scrapes with miscast Santas and obnoxious customers, enjoy David Sedaris’ account of being a Macy’s elf as per-formed by local actor Ian Mairs inside of the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville’s theatre downtown. December 19-21, 2007 at 7:30 pm. Location: 333 N Laura St. Info: (904) 366-6911 or visit mocajackson-ville.org

Alhambra’s A Christmas Carole Through December 23. To be a true Jacksonvillian you have to see Alham-bra version of this old favorite. It has been around for than twenty years. This production, based on Charles Dickens’ classic story, brings to life one of literatures most famous penny-pinchers, Ebenezer Scrooge. Whether you celebrate Christmas, or just like a good ghost story, Christmas Carole is fun for the entire fam-ily. It’s a memorable, musical voyage to Victorian England to find out how a miserly skinflint discovers the true meaning of Christmas in a most unusual way. Info: (904) 641-1212 or (800) 688-7469 Tickets: $39-46, includes dinner and show. Location: Alhambra Dinner Theatre 12000 Beach Blvd, info: (904) 641-1212 or visit alhambradinnertheatre.com

It’s A Wonderful Life Thomas M. Sharkey did a wonderful thing when he took one of America’s favorite holiday film classics and wrote this touching and heartfelt play. Capra would be proud! Players by the Sea, December 14, 15. Info: (904) 249-0289

Fogle Fine Art Holiday Show Be unique! Visit Fogle Fine Art & Accessories annual holiday show for inspi-rational decorating ideas. Displays feature trees, ornaments and other festive accessories. Located at 3312 Beach Blvd, M-F 10-6, Sat 10-4, Info: foglefineart.com.

An O. Henry Christmas Based on classic O. Henry stories, The Last Leaf and The Gift of the Magi, captures the true spirit of giving. Performanceswill be December 14, 15, 16. Location: Adele Grage Cultural Center 716 Ocean Blvd, Atlantic Beach. Info: (904) 249-7177 or visit abettheatre.com.

Holiday Lecture Series Topics include “Setting a Festive Table” “Fun and Festive Food” and “Creating a liv-ing Wreath.” Lectures run on December 15th 11 am- 12 pm. Location: Main Branch Library. Location: 303 N Laura St Info: (904) 630-2665 or visit jpl.coj.net.

Pet Photos with Santa Bring your furry friends to have their picture taken with Santa this holiday season on December 16! Location: St. Johns Town Center. Location: 4663 River City Dr. Info: (904) 642-8339 or visit simon.com.

Florida Ballet Nutcracker December 14th at 7:30 pm, December 15th at 2:30 & 7:30 pm and December16th at 3 pm. Enjoy the Florida Ballet’s rendition of The Nutcracker. The Florida Ballet is first and foremost a company of professional dancers, so expect some exquisite ballet. Location: Florida Theatre. Location: 128 E Forsyth St. Info: (904) 355-5661 or visit floridatheatre.com

Yule Slide Trombone players play Christmas carols on December 15th at 10 am. (registration at UNF), 12:30 performance (St. Johns Town Center) Location: 4663 River City Dr. Info: (904) 642-8339 or visit simon.com.

Breakfast with the Care Bears and Santa Join jolly St. Nick, Sleepytime and Cheer Bear for a breakfast buf-fet from 8 am-10 am on December 15th. Followed by a free meet & greet. Breakfast Buffet - $9.99 per person Breakfast Buffet plus one attraction - $12.99 per person Location: Adventure Landing. Location: 1944 Beach Blvd, Jacksonville Beach. Info: adventurelanding.com

The Children’s Christmas Party of Jacksonville On Saturday, December 15, 2007, The Children’s Christ-mas Party of Jacksonville will continue to fulfill the Christmas dreams of over 10,000 children in Northeast Florida. If you are interested in supporting this important event and making a difference in the lives of Jack-sonville youth, please consider a personal or corporate donation. Prime Osborne Convention Center. Location: 1000 Water St. Info: (904) 630-4000 or visit jaxevents.com.

2nd Annual Xmas Ball Hard rockin’ Porcelain Black, Sam Rivers an Tef XL will play at this event to benefit Toys for Tots on December 15th at 9 pm. Location: The French Quarter. Location: 5800 Philips Hwy. Info: (904) 732-9550 or visit myspace.com/frenchquarterjax

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holiday events


Dr’s Lake & Swimming Pen Creek Lighted Boat Parade Whitey’s Fish Camp will be hosting the 5th annual lighted boat parade on December 15th at 6 pm. Whitey’s Fish Camp. Location: 2032 CR 220 in Orange Park. Info: (904) 269-4198 or visit whiteysfishcamp.com.

18th Century Christmas Caroling On Saturday, December 15th, relive the wonderful and rich history of St. Augustine with an evening of 18th Century Christmas Caroling. Featuring Christmas music on a hammered dulcimer and violin in the center of the Plaza de la Constitucion at 6:30 p.m. Song sheets with the familiar words to 10 Christmas carols written before the 1800’s will be provided. Candles and songbooks will be available. The singing of the carols and the procession down St. George Street will begin at 7 p.m. and will end at the Castillo de San Marcos. Location: Plaza de la Constitución in St. Augustine. Info: (904) 797-9772

Country Christmas Concert Callahan Auto Sales is proud to announce the second annual Country Christ-mas Concert to be held in Callahan, Florida on Saturday, December 15th, from 6:00pm – 10:00pm, at the West Nassau High School Auditorium. The concert will be a “free event” for the community and will feature live entertainment provided by host Ray Williams, Roger Hawk and the Dixie Angel Band, Liz Mobley, Robin Kinsey, John Crisp, Steve Branch, and Ashli Holton. Everyone is invited to attend. Info: contact Ray Williams (904) 879-4585 or Liz Mobley (904) 813-9580

Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestra “Sounds of the Season” TARGET Family Series On December 16th at 3 pm you can take in a concert from the Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestra Philharmonic has become a holiday favorite for young audiences. The JSYO is made up of our area’s premier young musicians, performing inspiring and delightful concerts, engaging the community and spreading holiday cheer, too! Thanks to the generous partnership with TARGET, all general admission tickets are $7. Tickets: General Admission: $7; Reserved: $20 Adult, $18 Child. Location: Robert E. Jacoby Symphony Hall at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts Info: (904) 354-5547 or jaxsymphony.org.

A Nightmare Before Christmas Five Points Holiday Show 8th Day Tattoo Gallery will host the 5 Points event at Fuel Coffee House to benefit local charity organizations on December 16th at 7 pm. All proceeds will be donated to Toys for Tots, Bosom Buddies and the Jacksonville Humane Society. The line-up will feature short-films by 3M Productions, a comedy performance by Joel Land, a surprise musical guest, and silent auction. Highlighted artists include: Shawn Thurston, Jason Wright, Nick Wagner, Rod Crews, Kyle Miller and many more. Dress in costume or masquerade in the style of Nightmare Before Christmas, bringing Halloween back in the month of December. It’s $10 at the door or $5 with a toy. Fuel Coffeehouse in 5 Points. Location: 1037 Park St. Info: (904) 425-3835 or visit fuelin5pts.com

Intermezzo Free Sunday Concerts A concert of seasonal musical favorites arranged for clarinet choir on December 16th 2:30 pm. Main Branch Library - Hicks Auditorium (Conference level). Location: 303 N Laura St INfo: Info: (904) 630-2665 or visit jpl.coj.net

A Christmas Carole at The Florida Theatre December 21st at 7:30 pm. You know the story-Ebenezer Scrooge, a most unrepentant, miserly fellow, is made to see the light as he survives a merciless battery of revelations by the ghosts of his own Christmases: Past, Present and Future. In the Florida Theatre version, superb sets have been specially designed by the celebrated scenic designer, Larry Kaushansky (formerly Lazar Michailovich Kaushansky), for many years Russia’s reigning set and costume design genius. Tickets run from about $24-38. Florida Theatre. Location: 128 E Forsyth St. Info: (904) 355-5661 or visit floridatheatre.com

The Nightmare Before Christmas Show with Obituary, Sadus, Pain Principle and From Blood and BurningChristmas doesn’t have to filled with holiday cheer. Take a break from all that on December 21st at 8 pm. French Quarter. Location: 5800 Philips Hwy. Info: (904) 732-9550.

Christmas Party Just $5 get you in the door for the Christmas Party at House of Jam on December 22nd. House of Jam in Mandarin. Location: 9726 St Augustine Rd Info: (904) 262-3377 or visit thehouseofjam.com

Murray Hill Theatre AND Second Thief present: The Christmas Show!! From metal core to indie pop, you’ll be sure to find at least one band you like at this show. Each band will play their versions of at least 1 or two Christmas songs on Saturday, December 22nd at 8:00 pm Featuring Second Thief + Lots of bands- $8The Murray Hill Theatre. Location: 932 Edgewood Ave S Info: (904) 388-3179 or visit murrayhilltheatre.com

Nightmare Before Christmas featuring: DEVEREUX and guests Get away from tinsel and holiday mirth by changing things up a bit at Jack Rabbits on the 23rd of December. Jack Rabbits in San Marco. Location: 1528 Hendricks Ave. Info: (904) 398-7496 or visit jackrabbitsonline.com

Winter Break The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens will celebrate the New Year with music from around the world from December 26, 2007-January 6, 2007. Kids will love the giant inflatable slide, bounce house, face painting, animal encounters, prize drawing, and visits from Jazoo. Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens. Location: 8605 Zoo Rd. Info: (904) 757-4462 or visit jaxzoo.org

Music at the St. John’s Town CenterFriday, December 14 (5:00 pm – 8:00 pm)– Strolling Carolers Saturday, December 15 (1:00 pm – 2:00 pm) – UNF Yule Slide Saturday, December 15 (2:00 pm– 3:00 pm) – First Coast Rhythmic Gymnastics Saturday, December 15 (5:00 pm – 8:00 pm)– Strolling Carolers Sunday, December 16 (12:00 pm – 3:00 pm) – Strolling Carolers Tuesday, December 18 (1:00 pm – 2:00 pm) – Youth Ministry Choir Performance Friday, December 21 (5:00 pm – 8:00 pm)– Live Holiday Music from Feel the LoveSaturday, December 22 (5:00 pm – 8:00 pm)– Live Holiday Music from FusionSunday, December 23 (12:00 pm – 3:00 pm) – Live Holiday Music from Richard Stratton Trio

eujacksonville.com |december 13-19 2007 154

In just a week, we’ll be coming down to the wire for purchasing Christmas gifts. You

can bet that on the day before Christmas Eve, all those well-stocked shelves at Wal-

Mart will be so empty that it will look like looters got into the store.

local gourmet chocolate Getting the real deal- made fresh and without additives- means getting those chocolates closer to Christmas. See, you’re not a slacker, you just know when to buy chocolate. If you don’t want to take the long drive to Claude’s Chocolates in St. Augustine (15 Hypolita Street, St. Augustine, 904-808-8395), then there are a few places where you can get the good stuff in Jacksonville. 3 Sisters Chocolates (9965 San Jose Boulevard, 904-262-9122) is a long-time area favorite. All of their chocolates are certified kosher, and they have a number of price points under $10 and up. Their gorgeous gift baskets are a laudable choice for anyone on your list. New to the area is Etiquette of Chocolate (1988 Kingsley Avenue, Orange Park, 904-298-3098). Besides the usual high-end bon bons, they’ve expanded to include chocolate barks and drinks.

the dreaded gift card Christmas desperation has been given a name: the gift card. Back in the day, it was less acceptable and far more crass to get someone a gift card/certificate. These days, it’s the perfect way to get out of shopping. Still, you’ll want to show you gave it some thought. Make sure you include a card explaining why you picked a gift card from that particular store.

buying the experience Some gift cards are in a class by themselves because they buy an experience rather than a dollar amount you can spend. For the adventurous person in your life, you can buy all kinds of interesting experi-ences. Just make sure the person is up for it! Maybe you’ve got a friend or relative who has always wanted to skydive. If so, it’s time to put a smile on their face by calling (888) JUMP-JAX. They’ll get an experience of a lifetime. The facility is just past the main entrance of Herlong Airport on Normandy. For those who love to cook, there’s always Apron’s Cooking School, a two-thousand square-foot facil-ity inside a local Publix. Classes include “Girl’s Night Out,” “Kid’s Survivor Camp,” “Couples Cooking” and much, much more from $30 and up. For a schedule of celebrity chef appearances and classes, go to publix.com/aprons/ For a more exotic touch, you can always get a voucher for a four-week belly dancing class by calling Simone’s Belly Dancing at (904) 645-9500.

locally yours One of the newer stores in town is 3 Eclectic Chicks (1704 Hendricks Avenue, 904-306-0923). It’s not on the San Marco strip with all the other fancy stores, so it’s more likely to be a discovery for an ardent shop-per. You might not come away with a gift certificate when you visit the shop, but they have all kinds of unique items made by local artists, so you might end up finding the perfect gift. Artist Heather Ferman creates glass beads, which encase her glass flower designs. Diane Hamburg uses fabric as her medium, experimenting with dyes in quilting designs and more. “My art,” says Hamburg, “is created with the hope of capturing those times when one glances up through the leaves towards the sky or when one takes a big deep breath after trudging over the sand dunes and first glancing at the sea, sky and sun. That thrill of the vastness and beauty of Mother Nature is shared in my fiber creations.” Besides these unique artists, you’ll also find all kinds of other items for home décor. The selection is, as the name says, eclectic.

last-minute gifts by erin thursby

gift card suggestions:

-If you’re giving a spa gift card, make sure the spa is near where the recipient works or lives.-When you can, choose a local shop instead of a chain for a more personal touch.-Get your gift certificates or gift cards from a locally owned business because scammers gener-ally target large chains.-Get a card from behind the counter.-At the large chains, make sure you get a card with a scratch-off security code.-Keep the gift card receipt, just in case.-Read the fine print to make sure there aren’t hidden fees or expiration dates.-Don’t buy your card from eBay auctions.

gift kits You can pick up a hobby kit at most of the larger bookstores. Barnes & Noble carries a kit for every taste. You can give a belly dancer’s kit, a stunt kite kit, a cake decorating kit, a kit for enjoying wine, a learn to cast runes kit, a paint like a master kit, or an improve your memory power kit. Most kits start at a beginner’s level and are a great choice if you’re stuck for an unusual gift for a reasonable price (they range from about $10 to about $50, depending on their size and what’s included).

last minute diy Cooking something like cookies or candy and placing them in holiday tins is a great DIY solution, and one of the best ideas is even faster and easier, like the layered “cookie in a jar.” Just layer the dry ingredients in a clear jar for a pretty presentation and attach the recipe to provide the remaining steps for baking.Other crafty Do-It-Yourself gifts require some advance planning, so don’t start knitting your Great Aunt Ida a sweater now, unless you’re a really fast knitter with lots of time on your hands.

kiosk shopping Go to the mall and shop the kiosks. Most of them are temporarily set up for the holiday season, fold-ing up when the New Year comes around. Depending on the kiosk, you can actually haggle the price when it gets close to the last shopping days. Just ask the person you’re talking to if they own the kiosk. You can get anything from weird T-shir ts, huge belt buckles and custom monogramming to snow, jewelry or face cream. Early this season, I checked out the kiosks at the Avenues, and my favorite item was the fake snow sold on the second floor. Just add water, and the stuff expands to one hundred times its size. It’s a lot of fun and would make for a great gift for an inquisitive kid.

tickets stuff their stockings with entertainment

the alhambraWho can say no to dinner and a show? The Alhambra, the area’s only dinner theater, is celebrating their 40th anniversary and can offer you both. Packages include the slightly lower priced Silver Season Tickets, which can only be used on weekday nights. They also have gift certificate options, so that you can buy tickets for two people (different pricing depending on time and day of the week) and they can use it any way they would like. 2008 shows include Breaking up Is Hard to Do, Company, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Sound of Music, Little Shop of Horrors, Moon over Buffalo, George M ! Call (904) 641-1212 or 1-800-688-7469

fccj artist seriesBring a little Broadway to somebody you love. The 2008 season includes Monty Python’s Spamalot, Meno-pause the Musical, Movin’ Out (a Billy Joel based musical), Camelot starring Lou Diamond Phillips, The Great

etiquette of chocolate


American Trailer Park Musical and, of course, CATS. There are all sorts of other traveling shows that are part of the Series. Besides the Broadway stuff, they also have unique shows like CIRQUE DREAMS Jungle Fantasy that takes audiences soaring into a magical forest through the air and on stage with imaginative theatrics and world-class acrobatics. Jungle Fantasy will also have a Family Night on Broadway with special family prices and activities for children prior to the show. There is also the music/dance show Blast!, David Copperfield: An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion and the strange but always fun Blue Man Group. Dance fans can take a look at Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater or Pilobolus, the world’s most innovative modern dance en-semble. Gift certificates are available in denominations of $25, $50 and $100 and may be purchased from the FCCJ box office in person or by phone. They can be mailed either to you or directly to the recipient, saving you valuable time. Call (904)632-3373 or go to artistseries.fccj.org for more info.

unf fine arts centerIn its fifth year, the University of North Florida’s Fine Arts Center is fast becoming Jacksonville’s showcase for a rich tapestry of performances. Experience an eclectic array of amazing performances such as the explosive fusion of gymnastics, modern dance, and high-flying daredevil skills of AEROS. You will love a capella group TAKE 6 as they blend jazz, R&B and gospel with a dash of doo-wop. The edgy ASPEN SANTA FE BALLET presents contemporary ballet with a modern twist by using fresh, fluid athleticism and sensuality. You can create your own special season with several flexible, affordable ways to subscribe. Check out all the other shows the UNF Fine Art Series has to offer at unf.edu/fineartscenter or phone (904) 620-2878.

players by the seaMaybe you’ve got a friend who likes theater but isn’t into the standard musicals. Players by the Sea might be the right choice for them. February kicks off with Julius X, a grafting of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar and the story of Malcom X’s murder. It’s by homegrown local playwright Al Letson. The rest of the season includes Night of the Iguana, The Underpants and the musical Blues in the Night. Call (904) 249-0289 for more info.

theatre jacksonvilleThis local community gem has been doling out excellent community theater for 88 years now. This season your friends or family could enjoy Dearly Departed, The Ruby Sunrise, Absence of a Cello and The Secret Garden. Call 396-4425 ext. 10 Tuesday-Friday 10 am-5 pm.

orange park community theatreThis season includes Come Blow Your Horn, Play On! and Brigadoon. Call (904) 276-2599 for more info on season tickets or gift certificates.

thrasher-horne centerWho says Orange Park lacks culture? I certainly don’t. Not with a community theater and the Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts in the area. Many of their special events can only be attended by members, but that’s not true for most of the shows. This season listen to a coal miner chorus, see Little Women, listen to violinist Ayako Yonetani, see Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Barefoot in the Park, attend jazz concerts and much more! Buy a membership or tickets at (904) 276-6750

florida theatreThere seems to be something for everyone at the Florida Theatr,e be it a national comic (Kathy Griffin comes in January), political speaker, dance troupe (flamenco), jazz singer, the B-52s, a ballet show or psychic (Syl-via Browne visits in February). There’s too much to cover in this space, so I suggest you get yourself to a computer for a full list of upcoming events on their website floridatheatre.com/events

ciRque dReaMS Jungle fantaSy

eujacksonville.com |december 13-19, 2007 174

Memberships make great gifts and most can be purchased in a matter of minutes

online, so they make some of the best last minute gifts. In addition to being easy and

quick, they are often the most insightful gift you can get! Let this list get you started.

Moca membershipsFor that truly contemporary friend that loves martinis, hanging out downtown, and explaining to you the value of that artist that you said “I could paint better than that” about, a membership to the Museum of Contempo-rary Art Jacksonville is the perfect gift. Members get into the museum without having to pay during general admission hours and they are also invited to exclusive exhibition opening receptions. In addition to that they get discount admission to the film series and special events and discounts in the museum shop. Member-ships are generally $50 for an individual and they arte good for an entire year. If they are really artsy and travel often (and love to attend museum parties), get them a Luminary membership for $500. Their name will appear in MOCA’s Forma magazine (which they will get a subscription to) and they will be invited to the an-nual Avant-Garde events, including cocktail parties, as well as free admission to more than 200 museums in North America. For more membership details visit mocajacksonville.com/membership

cummer membershipsFor $50 you could make the classic art enthusiast happy all year long. Cummer memberships get you dis-counts on exclusive items from The Cummer Store, reduced admission to Art Connections classes, Priority seating for The Cummer Concert Series and private invitations to the latest exhibitions at even the most basic level. All members get free admission to The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens and free admission to 60 museums through the Southeast Reciprocal Membership Program, subscription to The Cummer Magazine, invitation to members-only exhibition preview events and museum library privileges by appointment. In addi-tion to general membership, you can also become part of the Ponce de Leon Society at varying levels. These are sponsor level memberships and come with many special recognitions and invitations to exclusive events. Go to cummer.org/get_involved/benefits.cfm for more details.

jacksonville veterans memorial arenaA big hit will certainly be tickets to one of the big shows coming to the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena this winter. Kids of all ages will appreciate the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus going on January 16 - 20. You can’t deny the mass appeal of Dancing with the Stars whose tour will pass through Jacksonville on January 22. Rockers will be thrilled; Van Halen has extended their historic tour into 2008. Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen, and Wolfgang Van Halen are together for the first time in 22 years, and will grace the Arena on February 16. Your mother certainly will know she raised a thoughtful son or daughter when she finds tickets to see Michael Bublé appearing on February 24, in her stocking. Tickets for these shows can be obtained through Ticketmaster (904) 353-3309.

other optionsThere are plenty of other area options in St. Augustine, if your gift recipients don’t mind a short drive or you know it’s something they’d come out for. The Amphitheatre and the Limelight are just two of the St. Augustine selections you can make. You might also want to check out the performing arts calendars at JU (904-256-7374). They are doing far more since they’ve revamped their Swisher Theatre. We at EU hope this list will help you cross off those last few gift recipients on your list!

memberships by jon bosworth

aeRoS at unf fine aRtS centeR


MoSh membershipsFor that bright young kid that adores science and nature and animatronic dinosaurs, there is nothing like an annual MOSH membership. For an individual it is $50, but for only $65 you can purchase a whole family membership. All memberships include free admission to the Museum of Science & History for a year, dis-counts in the store, a subscription to the newsletter, admission to more than 200 other museums (through the ASTC) and discounts on classes and camps, but a family membership also gets the rest of the family in plus two guests and special invitations to exclusive events. Visit themosh.org/general/benefits.asp for more details on the various tiers of memberships available.

thrasher-horneMake your giftee a partner in shaping the arts by purchasing them an annual membership at the Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts and give them access to the array of exciting programs offered at the THCA. Mem-bers receive priority seating and discounts on tickets. From Friend Memberships ($50) to Producer Member-ships($1,000) and a variety of tiers in between, this is a great gift for an Orange Park regular that enjoys live theater and art shows. Go to thcenter.org/membership.html for more details.

riverkeeperThere are a number of national organizations that the environmentally conscience would love being a member of, but Riverkeeper is an outstanding local organization that is unifying Jacksonville residents around the pro-tection of our own St. Johns River. Being a keeper isn’t the kind of membership that comes with free admis-sions and discounts at gift shops, although members do get exclusive invitations to parties and fundraisers and many area shops do give members discounts, the real reason to join is to be a part of the most effective advocate of our river. It is not a political organization, it has no party affiliations, it is is simply a watchdog organization that keeps polluters in check. If the person you are getting a gift for this season would just as-sume not have any more possessions, or if they already have everything they could want, purchase them a membership to this organization and give them something more valuable and less tangible. A sense of pride and community. Go to stjohnsriverkeeper.org for more details.

gold’s gym or yMca“I’m not saying your fat…” If they aren’t sensitive and you know they really just need the motivation, a mem-bership to a gym in their neighborhood is a great gift. It’s easy enough to buy your own membership and never use it, but if you buy them a membership then they have to feel guilty every time you don’t see them at the gym. Most Americans can use more exercise, and those that exercise regularly will certainly appreciate a year of membership dues, so help them fit into the new year with something that makes them feel better about themselves.

jacksonville zoo and gardensGive them wildlife wonders and interactive experiences all year long, with a membership to the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens. Membership includes free zoo admission and a front row seat to all of the excitement! Get their whole family a membership and you open a whole world of new experiences for their family. In addition to getting into the zoo as often as you care to visit, you’ll also get exclusive invitations to their events, which include everything from evening cocktail socials to outstanding gardening classes in their world-class gar-dens. Go to jaxzoo.org for more details.

other membershipsFrom Brew Your Own Beer clubs to Meat-of-the-Month clubs, there are plenty of specialized memberships that can get an enthusiast exactly the type of specialty thing they love. Just get online and Google their hobby plus Jacksonville Florida and you will enter a whole subculture that often includes subscriptions and member-ships to groups that are right up their alley, many of which have local chapters.

cuMMeR

eujacksonville.com | december 13-19 2007 19

Smart CyCle By Fisher-Price $99.99 Recom-mended for ages 3-6 years A toy that’s fun, educational and promotes activity? Yes, every parent’s dream plaything has hit stores and is selling like crazy. An early pick as one of the hottest toys of the 2007 holiday sea-son, the Smart Cycle is one cool way for kids to play video games. Just plug the clever stationary bike into the TV and kids are ready to peddle their way to a bigger brain. The Smart Cycle comes with a learning adventure game that schools them on the alphabet. You can buy other game cartridg-es (which teach about everything from dinosaurs to the Spanish language) separately.

CliCkStart my FirSt Computer By Leap-Frog $59.99 Recommended for ages 3-6 years Allow your child to try out her typing skills without worrying about them crashing the family computer. The ClickStart Computer is a colorful keyboard plugs right into your TV and teaches kids basic computer skills and things like pho-nics, animal facts and counting. The ClickStart My First Computer comes with 4 different educa-tional games and you can purchase even more separately.

V-teCh Whiz kid learning SyStem By V-Tech $49.99 Recommended for ages 3-7 years V-Tech’s answer to their rival LeapFrog’s ClickStart My First Computer is the V-Tech Whiz Kid Learning System. This one plugs directly into the computer and is a tablet rather than a key-board, but the basic premise is the same. The big difference here is that it comes with 120 different activities (you can, of course, buy other game cartridges). With a lower retail price and a lot more games for your buck, the V-Tech Whiz Kid Learning System is probably the winner of this round.

rubikS reVolution By Techno Source $19.99 Recommended for ages 5 years and up The Rubiks Cube is back and a whole lot more tech-ed up. Instead of driving yourself nuts twisting the cube to solve the puzzle, the new-est version has six different games that promote reason and logic, fast hands and a killer memory. The Rubiks Revolution has lights and sound and different levels to master while you play. This is one toy that parents may play with as much as the kids!

Spark talking bug identiFier By Discover Channel $19.95 Recommended for ages 5 years and up I don’t know why, but kids love bugs. If you’re squeamish around creepy crawlies but can’t keep your little one away, this is the toy for you. The Spark Talking Bug Identifier can identify more than 50 different bugs so you don’t have to. Kids find a specimen, answer a series of “yes” or

“no” questions and as fast as you can say “Hurry, Honey, squish it!” your little entomologist will know what’s crawling on the sidewalk.

FiSher-priCe i Can play guitar SyStem By Fisher-Price $99.99 Recommended for ages 6-9 years Rock stars in the making will be thrilled to own this new toy. The I Can Play Guitar System plugs into the TV and lets your kid rock out, teach-ing them guitar basics like strumming, chords, and finding notes on the fret board along the way.

JakkS eyeClopS bioniC eye By Jakks $49.99Recommended for ages 6-12 years Seeing anything magnified 200 times its normal size is pretty fascinating for all ages. The Jakks EyeClops Bionic Eye lets you illuminate and magnify just about anything by plugging the gadget into your TV. Easy to use and a lot of fun, this kid-friendly microscope is great for little sci-entists and, with no obnoxious sound effects, is a peaceful alternative to many electronic toys on the market.

magnetix i-CoaSter By Mega Brands $79.99Recommended for ages 6-14 years We’ve come a long way since Tinker Toys! The Magnetix I-Coaster lets future engineers build a massive magnetic roller coaster complete with its own soundtrack. This education-disguised-as-fun toy forces kids to use their fine motor, reason-ing, and logic skills while they create interesting structures and learn about magnetism, but you may want to keep that to yourself- they’ll just think it’s a really cool toy.

brian the brain By Mega Brands $99.99 Rec-ommended for ages 8-12 years Brian’s a creepy looking little guy but he sure knows a whole lot. This brain-in-a-bubble buddy interacts with kids and learns about them to customize his conversations. In addition to telling jokes and playing games, Brian can also help out with homework (he’s equipped with an encyclo-pedia and dictionary) and teach kids some trivia. The toy is also a personal organizer, MP3 player speaker system, alarm clock, telephone and per-sonal room guard with a light sensor. Now I want one!

FaShion angelS FaShion magazine editorBy Fashion Angels $89.99 Recommended for ages 8-12 years Girls can try their hand at running their own fashion magazine with this neat kit from Fashion Angels. Load the easy to use software on the computer and their ready to work in the cutthroat business of fashion. The Fashion Angels Fashion Magazine Editor comes with a (admittedly crappy) digital camera, camera accessories, guides to photography and designing a layout, and more.

get smart by kellie abrahamson

top educational toys of 2007It seems like every kid’s Christmas is filled with toys that do little to stimulate the brain. They want yet another doll, some crazy video game or an updated version of an action figure you had when you were a kid. There are many toys out there that can get your child thinking while they play. They may not appear on your kid’s wish list, but these educational toys are sure to be a hit anyway:

20 december 13-19, 2007| entertaining u newspaper

dish.where to eat, drink and be merry.

page 20 - 21 michelle’s southern home cooking page 21 ghetto gourmet

breakfast pancakes from cool moose cafe

There’ssomethingaboutahome-cookedSouthernmealthatjustgetsmeallnostalgic.AplacethatmakesmefeelthatwayisMichelle’sSouthernHomeCookingRestaurant.Theyliveuptotheirname. OnethingaboutMichelle’sthat’sdifferentfrommostSouthern-stylefare:theydon’tpileonasmuchsaltintheveggiesidesasmostcountry-styleplacesdo.Soifyou’relookingforSoutherncookingbutyoucan’thandlecopiousamountsofsalt,mostoftheirdishesarereasonable. Michelle’sisaneighborhoodplace,there’snodoubtaboutit.It’saregularstoponFridaynightforbik-ers(manyofwhomarelawyersanddoctors).SaturdaynightbringstheTexasHold‘Emplayerswhocomeforanhonesthandfrom3pm–7pm.Allinall,Michelle’shasbeenaroundsince1979(thoughunderadif-ferentname),servingupSoutherngoodnesstohungryregulars. Theplaceissmall,withadecentsizedbar.Musicalinstrumentsserveasdecorationonthewalls.It’sallbedeckedinholidaycheer,asfitstheseason.Eventhead-filledplacematscontributetotheatmosphere.Mostoftheadsareforchopperpaintingandrepair,butthere’salsoanoddballadforadogFrisbeeshow.Alltheadsarehappilylocalplaces,andontheothersideisaconnect-the-dotspuzzle,tokeepthekidsentertained. Michelle’sismorethanjustasit-downrestaurant.Theyalsocaterandaccepttake-awayorders.Thatway,youcanlooklikeafabulouscookcomeChristmas,simplybyorderingatrayoftheirsquashcasserole.Largerordersofsixormorehelpingsareslightlyreducedinprice. Aftersamplingabunchofthesidedishes,Michellesidleduptomytable,askingmehowIlikedevery-thing.

best burgers, grand piesMichelle’s Southern Home Cooking Restaurant

by Erin thursby [email protected]

dish update

Ifyoureallywanttoimpressafriend(oragirlfriend)withexpensivetasteinliquor,youmightwanttogetthemabottleofDosLunasGrandReserve,anExtraAñejothatbreaksnewgroundintheluxurytequilacategory.DosLunasTequilarecentlyannouncedthelaunchofthisluxetequila,whichhasagoingpriceof2,500.That’sdollars.Notpesos.It’stheonlytequilatobebottledinhand-blown,individuallynumberedBaccaratdecanters.Eachdecanterishousedinanequallyluxuriousebonizedwoodboxwithanaccompanyingcrystalstopperandsterlingsilverkeyandnecklace.GrandReserveisavailableonlineattotalbeverage.netandshoppersvineyard.com. Speakingofgifts,ifyou’reintheJacksonvilleBeachareaonSaturdayDecember15th,whynotheadovertoWorldMarket(950MarshLandingParkway)fortheir“WinesforGift-GivingTast-ing.”It’sfreeandyoucandosomeChristmasshoppingwhileyou’rethere. ThisSaturday,havealittlechickeninhonorofthelate,greatJuliusCaesarattheBackPorchCafé(3031MonumentRoad,904-998-9918).They’reservinguptheirEtTuChickenasadinnerspecial.It’sabreastofchickenmarinatedinCaesardressingpansautéedandtoppedoverslicedtomato(forbloodofCaesar!)andsprinkledwithParmigianocheese.It’sservedwithpotatoandvegetabledujour. WhiletheHolidayFeastClassatthedeluxeApron’sCookingSchool(Publix,10500SanJoseBlvd.904-262-4187)isonthe21st(at6:30pm),werecommendreservingaseatnow!It’salotlikebeingonacookingshow.Thechefdoesallthework,explainshistechniqueandyougettosampleitallwhilesippingwine.At$45apersonthisprovidesfoodandentertainmentforthenight.Here’sthemenu:BibbSaladwithRaspberryandMapleDressingwithDuckBreast,servedwithChardonnay;GoatCheeseandPeppercorn-CrustedLambChopswithaCranberryReduction,servedwithanAncient-VineZinfandel;StandingPrimeRibRoastwithCabernetDemi-Glace,Horse-radishChantilly,andRoastedRedBlissMash,servedwithaCaliforniaCabernet;ChocolatePecanTorteservedwithaTawnyPort. Remember,ifyou’vegotanydishonJacksonvillefoodanddrink,[email protected].

eujacksonville.com |december 13-19, 2007 21

Iexclaimedovertheincrediblesquashcasseroleandit’slighttartness,whichwashardtoplace.IaskedwhatgaveitthattartnessandMichellesimplylookedatmeslyly,saying,“Oh,wecan’ttellyouthat.”Shedidtellmethatit’saverypopularitemandthattherestaurantreceivedmorethan270ordersforitthedaybeforeThanksgiving.IfyoushouldbeinclinedtoordersomethingforpickupnearChristmas,hercutoffistwodayspriortoChristmasEve. Iwasalsoafanofthecollards.Theyweren’tdousedinsaltandtheyweren’tovercooked,theywerefresh,notfrozen,nottoobitterandcookedperfectly. Theirveggiesoupwasverysouthern,withlimabeansthrownintothemix.This,alongwiththechiliandthemeatloaf,wasthesaltiestthingItasted.Themeatloafbringspeoplebackagainandagain.Itwasn’tmychoice,butIthinkchoosingmeatloafisverypersonal-onceyoufindoneyoulove,noothervariationwilldo.Formanypeople,thismeatloafisjustlikemomusedtomake,asaretheirhand-rolledchickenanddump-lings.Thesaltyslicedhamwasarichdishtotry,andtheircrabcakesareknownforbeing75%crab.

Ifyouloveagreat,savoryburger,youcan’tgowrongorderingoneofMichelle’s.Thehand-formedpat-tiesareseasonedthroughoutandaredefinitelyinthetopthreeforthebestburgerI’vehadinJacksonville.Itcomeswithasideorderofsweetpotatofries,lightlytossedwithsugarandcinnamon. Youmightwanttochecktheplaceoutonthe28thofthismonth,whentheyholdtheirpostChristmas,alt-dayNewYears.Atnightit’squiteabarhangout,andIloved“discovering”thisplace.There’sjustsome-thingdelightfulaboutfindingaplacethatlookslikeitcouldbeaholeinthewallfromtheoutside,butthathasreallygreatfood.IfeellikeI’minonagreatJacksonvillesecret.Sinceit’sbeenaroundforsolong,I’msureit’snotasecrettolongtimeresidentswholiveintheneighborhood,butthewordshouldbespread! Bestofall,I’vegotasweettoothandMichelle’ssatisfiesit.Onthedessertfront,shemakessomeoftheloveliesttastingpiesI’vecomeacrossinthearea.Piesdochange,dependingonwhattheyhaveavail-able,sotheymightnothavethepiesonhandthatItried,thoughtheymostcertainlywillhavethepeanutbut-terpie,whichMichelle’sisfamousfor.Ievenlovedit,andInormallyonlylikepeanutbutterinsavorydishes.Theirpineapplecream,cherryandtheirchocolatebananapuddingfurtherconvincedme—I’mdefinitelycom-ingback,ifevenjustforpie.

8560 Beach Boulevard, Jacksonville, FL, (904) 353-0002.

ghetto gourmet

eating out for less than $20 by jon bosworth and cassie larue

Itisonethingtofindarestaurantwhereacouplecaneatoutfortwentydollarsorless,itisanentirelydifferentexperiencetogettospendafulleveningonthetownandstillkeepyourtallybelowthetwentydollarmark.ThisiswhyCassieandIareever-so-thankfulforthedowntownArtWalkonthefirstWednesdayofeverymonth.AlthoughIhavebeenattendingArtWalksfairlyregularlyforquitesometime,Cassiehasneverjoinedme.Iwaseithergoingtocatchaspecificband,seeaspecificfriend’swork,orbecauseEUwassendingmetocoversomeeventtakingplacewithinit,noneofwhichleavesmedisposedtospendqualitytimewithmydate.ThislastArt-Walk,however,wastheexceptionandhopefullythestartofaregulardatenighttrend. Asthenameofthiscolumnimplies,thefirststepofournightonthetownwastoeat.Down-townhassomefabulousplacestoeat.CassieandIliveinAvondale,sowhenwegettiredoftheneighborhoodcuisine,downtownisaneasyal-ternative.Infactwe’vebeenoutseveraltimesinthelastfewweekseatinganddiningdowntowninresearchforthiscolumn.ButwhenwesatdowninChewfordinner,thereweretoomanythingsonthemenuthatwewantedtosettleforstayingunderthetwentydollarmark(evenstillourbillwaslessthan$30beforetip).ThesamegoesforCaféNola,therearejustsomanydelectableitemsontheirmenuandgreatwines,thatkeepingthetabsmallwasanexer-ciseindisciplinethatwejustweren’tupto. SowekickedoffthenightatShelby’sCoffeeShoppeinsideofthenewlibraryattheheartofthedowntownArtWalk.Shelby’sisadelightful,locallyownedcoffeeshopwithtwolocationsintown.TheirBeacheslocationhasbeenaroundforawhileandthedowntownlocationisasnewasthelibraryitisin.InfactifyouonlycametothisoneblockonanygivenWednesday,youwouldhaveterrificaccesstothegreatnewlibrary,theirfantasticgiftshop,Shelby’sfreshbrewedcoffeedrinksandlightbites,ourMu-seumofContemporaryArt,theirexquisitegiftshopandCaféNola.That’snotevenmentioningHemmingPlaza,whichisalternatelyfunwithmusicandtentsandcreepy,crawlingwiththementallydisabledanddefecatinghomeless.ButthatisnotthecaseonArtWalknight. CassieorderedtheNuttyGreenGrannies,aspinachsaladwithfreshmushrooms,GrannySmithap-ples,walnutsandgorgonzolacheeseandservedwithasideoftheirhomemadelemon-thymevinaigrette.Theingredientsweresuperblyfreshandbouncingwithdelightful,lightflavors,andaspinachsaladoftenhasthetendencytofeeltoostrongorweigheddown,butthefruitandnutswereanicetouch.Cassiewouldhavepreferredtohavesometomatoesinit,andthefriendlyserversatShelby’scertainlywouldhavebeengladtoaccommodate.Theonlyotherproblemwiththesaladwasthedressing.Thelemon-thymevinaigrettedidnotofferthesweetnessthataspinachsaladrequires,anditwasapoormatchfortheingredientsofthissalad,evenifithadbeenawell-conceiveddressing.TheyalsohaveahomemadeCaesar,abalsamicorherbvinaigrette,ahoisin-mustarddressingandableaucheese.Wedidn’ttryanyoftheseothers,butmanysoundlikeadeliciousalternativetothelemon-thyme. Idefinitelyrecommendtheirsandwiches.IorderedthePanini,whichhassalami,pepperoni,provo-lonecheese,redbellpeppersandbalsamicvinaigretteservedonahotItalianciabattabread.Theflavorsofthissandwichperfectlymeltedsweetandtartintoadeliciousconcoctionandwasservedwithchipsandapickle.OthersandwichesthatlookeddeliciousweretheJarboe(roastbeef,cheddarcheese,horse-radishmayowithromaine,spinach,tomatoes,redonionsandsprouts)andTheStrand(achickensaladsandwichwithpecansandgrapes).Inadditiontothesedelectablesandwiches,theyalsohavesoups,pastries,andavarietyofbreakfastitems.Ourdinner,withtropicalsweetteaforCassieandanicecupofcoffeeforme,cameoutto$19.96. Evenbetterthanagreatdinnerforundertwenty,especiallywhereinwebothhadplentytoeat,isthatafterwardswegottolookatalloftheChristmastreesinthelibrary,thenheadedovertoMOCAtotakeintheEssenceandMaterialsexhibit,bothforfree.WemadeourwayovertotheThiefintheNightGalleryinsidetheHaydenBurnsbuildingandenjoyedafewcomplimentarycupsofwine,adeliciouslymildShiraz.NextwewentovertoBurritoGallerytocatchKlob’sbluesy,RandyNewman-likesetandranintoafriendthatboughtusacocktail.Bytheendofthenightwewerestillunderour$20budgetandgottoseeplentyofart,someotherspectacularsights,drinksomegreatwineandenjoyanewlocalclassictothecityproper.IhopeCassieandIcanmakearegulardatenightoutofthemonthlyArtWalk.Inthiseconomy,thereisn’tasaferbet.


live music & shows calendarTHURSDAY, DECEMBER 13Blistur Rivers Edge, Fernandina Beach (491-3849)

Stor Side B, Toby Mac Paxon Revival Center, Jax

Pianist Tim Nold Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach (249-9981)

Cloud 9 Twisted Martini, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-8810)

Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646)

Often, The Slightest 9th & Main, Jax

John Winters Duo Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)

Psychostick Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299)

Packway Handle Band European Street, Jax (399-1740)

Southern Trouble French Quarter, Jax (732-9550)

The Wainwrights Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877)

Rowka Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828)

Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)

Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359-0001)

Colton & Friends The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Call to Preserve Fuel, Jax (425-3835)

Durty White Boyz, Bigga Rankin Plush, Jax (743-1845)

Matt Still Paco’s, Jax Beach

Out of Hand Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181)

Sounds Trains Make UNF Art Gallery, Jax

Stu Weaver Coffee Roasters, Jax (260-0810)

Unknown Avenger Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)

Big Engine Box Seats, Jax (908-7328)

Matt Collins Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

Ace Winn The Melting Pot, Jax

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317)

Laurel Lee CD Release Shantytown, Jax

Kings of Hell Brewsters, Jax (223-9850)

Lackawanna Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884)

Box 543 Culhane’s, Atlantic Beach (249-9595)

The Impediments Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)

Josh Wilhoit Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

Slumpbuster Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach (246-

WHO: Jim BrickmanWHERE: Florida TheatreWHEN: Thursday, Decmber 20th

Jim Brickman has a unique style of writing and performing piano music. Classically trained, Jim prefers to play his own compositions as pop music, which are inspired by his eclectic musical roots. His compositions are instrumental but he invites guest artists to sing his songs with lyrics at his live shows and on his albums. At age 19, Jim began writing commercial jingles. This set him on a path to compose music for commercials for major corpora-tions. Jim also worked with Jim Henson Associates composing music for the Muppets. By the 90’s, Jim was performing concerts and recorded his debut album, No Words on Windham Hill in 1994. More albums followed and by 1999, Jim recorded Destiny. In 2006, Jim left Windham Hill and released Escape (on Savoy Jazz)–a break-through album with a cadre of special vocal artists using Jim’s intricate original arrangements. Now, Jim is out touring to promote his holiday album, Home-coming. To find out more about Jim as a person and artist, EU spoke to him via telephone. Jim lives to perform for his many fans. He agrees that music is the language of the universe. By sharing his emo-tionally penetrating music with his audiences, he is experiencing true communication – a very special experience that ends when everyone goes home happy.

“In my latest album, Homecoming, I’ve tried to capture the spirit of the holidays. I’m out touring to promote this work and enjoying the experience. When I write my songs, I’m improvising, in a man-ner of speaking – that is, I hear the music in my head, then, when I play it, I do change parts as I perform solo. Of course when I play with sym-phonies or with singers, I have to stick to the music as written. “I don’t think about labels. However, I consider my music eclectic and uniquely pop – too diverse to categorize. I’ve worked with country singers like Sara Evans and Martina McBride. I’ve also recorded with R&B singer Gerald Levert. So, my music is influenced by a wide spectrum of musical artists and genres. “As to my connection with country music, my first big hit was with Martina McBride, ‘Valentine.’ So it has been a tradition with me to occasionally crossover into country music. But I play different genres of music such as Christian, R&B, gospel, and pop but distilled into my own sound. I consider what I do original pop piano music with other genres represented. I like diversity and working with other

talented people. My music connects with people – that is why I do it.” Indeed, Jim connected with me during our chat. He’s intuitive and perceptive. We agreed that get-ting a group of people in an auditorium and playing music for them creates positive vibes on a very high level of consciousness. In listening to Jim’s music, I could hear many influences and nuances performed with finesse and subtlety. Whereas jazz piano can reach frantic levels of improvisation, losing the listener in abstract ideas, Jim’s minimal style uses musical space effectively to hold the listener in his aura of musical light. Jim Brickman will be performing at the Florida Theatre on Thursday, Dec. 20.

holiday popinterview with Jim Brickman

By Rick gRant [email protected]


WHaT: MachinaWHEN: December 19th @ 8 pmWHERE: French Quarter

There’s new melodic metal coming our way in the form of the band Machina. Something about their sound makes me want to drink cheap beers in a questionable club. There’s a 90s grunge influence to their metal, so there’s a little dir t to their clean melo-dies, in the nasally (but rockin’) whine of their lead vocalist, Phil Taylor. The band got its embryonic start when Phil Taylor started jamming and writing with John LeCompt. Both were in other bands at the time. Tay-lor was heading up Future Leaders of the World, and LeCompt was part of Evanescence. When Taylor’s band fell apart after Epic dissolved their contract and LeCompt left Evanscence, Taylor suggested that they team up. LeCompt also brought Rocky Gray (drums) from Evanescence (though he’s no longer part of the band). Current band members are Phil Taylor (vo-

cals), John LeCompt (guitar, backup vocals), Thad Ables (bass), Justin Carder (drums). “We were Future Leaders of America,” says Taylor, “but once we started writing together it be-came a whole new thing. It’s been Machina for two years now.” Despite the clear demarcation between the two bands in Taylor’s eyes, many people see Machina as the logical continuation of Future Leaders, especially with Taylor’s distinctive vocals. “I think the music’s a lot different…It’s heavier musically…Lyrically it’s not as politically driven, it’s more personal.” The name came from the phrase “deus ex machina,” a plot device in Greek plays that used divine intervention to resolve a hopeless situation. It translates literally as “god from the machine,” as they would often fly their Zeuses or Heras in using some sort of complex machine. They aren’t the only band to like the name and use it. A quick Internet search revealed several hard-

rocking bands of the same name. Taylor isn’t worried about the commonality of the name, though. “There’s a lot of Machinas not in the United States…and it’s not like there’s any other band nationally touring with the name. We haven’t had to deal with it.” The band is touring nationally, but they haven’t yet released a full-length CD. You can buy their 6-song EP on their MySpace website, myspace.com/machinametal. The band has built up a fan base using Face-book, iLike and MySpace, with over 23 thousand friends on MySpace. “We’re in talks with labels right now, so we’ll have a pretty clear picture soon. Hopefully, by early next year, we’ll know when a CD will be coming out.” In the meantime, Taylor says, “We’re basically going on as if nothing’s going down. We’re just booking straight through. When the time comes, we’ll just make the time. [The CD] could end up being [recorded] next month or it could be next March.” EU got the chance to ask lead singer Phil Taylor a few questions about music, merch and politics.

EU: What’s in your CD player right now?Phil Taylor: I don’t know. Let me look. (laughs)…I got it at the dollar store.

EU: What’s your guilty pleasure CD?PT: John Secada. That’s just the pretty obvious one.

EU: If Jessica Simpson and Homer Simpson were running for president, which one would you vote for?PT: This is a really fun question. Definitely Homer Simpson. Because even though he’s an idiot, he always ends up on top somehow, by luck. Jessica Simpson just screws up, gets more and more STDs every month…I don’t know, I’m just bullsh*ting.

EU: What’s the coolest piece of merch a fan can buy on your website (besides the EP)?PT: Hmm. I would say the CD release party poster. It’s signed by the whole band. We don’t really have that many of those, I think there’s like a hundred to a hundred fifty. I think that it’s a cool thing and we aren’t going to be making any more of them.

You can listen to Machina live here in Jackson-ville at the French Quarter on December 19th at 8 pm.

get your grunge oninterview with MachinaBy ERin thuRsby [email protected]

8099)

Inner Deamons Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Crystal Bessels Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551)

Freeze Frame Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)

Thirteenth Stone Box Seats, Jax (908-7328)

Too Many Shoes Danny’s, Orange Park

Mint Julep Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)

Sweet Low Down West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131)

Dailiss 9th & Main, Jax

Ace Winn Copelands, Jax

Drivin South Michelle’s, Jax

Hot Cotton Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311)

Down Theory Studio 80, Jax

Over The Ditch Tijuana Flats, Jax (737-9938)

Installing Chaos Doozer’s Pub, Jax

Dubwise Yesterday’s, Jax (387-0502)

Matt Still Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach

General Tso’s Fury CD Release Café Nexus, Fernandina

Jax Pipes & Drums UNF, Jax

Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515)

Big Engine Tailgaters, Green Cove Springs (529-1976)

A1A North River City Brewing Company, Jax (398-2299)

Linda Cole Casa Monica Hotel, St. Augustine

Dot Wilder Jazz Trio Casablanca Inn, St. Augustine

FRIDAY-SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14-15

Cheshire Cats Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-9336)

Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940)

McKenna Champs Lounge, Mandarin (262-4337)

Blistur Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611)

Von Barlow & Debra Rider The Brick, Jax (387-0606)

Dueling Pianos Dick’s Wings/Tinseltown, Jax

Magda Hiller Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 15

Robby Schenck Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551)

Dillinger Tailgaters, Green Cove Springs (529-1976)

Big Engine Sharkey’s, Orange Park

Evenstill Casa Monica Hotel, St. Augustine

Ampleforth Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884)

Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Charlie Walker Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

Kevin Zipperer Walk About Café, Jax

Jemibook Memorial Park, Jax

Jeff Scott & David Luthra Red Zone, Jax

Ritmo y Sabor El Taino Restaurant, Jax


WHaT: Conrad Oberg with Rob Piazza and Danny RobertsWHERE: Mojo Kitchen in Jacksonville BeachWHEN: December 15th

I’ve known musical prodigy Conrad Oberg for more than three years. I first covered him at his London Bridge debut when he was just 10 years old. Legally blind, Conrad was born with a Mozart-like talent for music. He started off playing tunes on a

small piano at age 3, and had a repertoire of piano songs by 9-years old. Later, Conrad took up guitar and fell in love with the blues. Now 13, his guitar technique has advanced rapidly. In fact, every time I hear him play, I find he has made a quantum leap in technical skill. Conrad’s performance of Hendrix’s ‘Little Wing’ at age 12 went viral on YouTube. Every week I hear about another Conrad Oberg triumph, playing with some blues luminary or at big blues festivals. The kid is omnipresent, I swear.

walking with a winter wunderkind

Indeed, Conrad has the best ear of anyone I can remember. He can play anything he hears, which is the holy grail of musical genius. But he’s not tak-ing this gift for granted. Conrad is attending the La Villa School of the Arts and plans to attend Douglas Anderson School of the Arts. He’s learning every-thing he possibly can about music and his father, Michael, can’t keep him away from his piano or guitar. Conrad literally lives and breathes music and his supportive parents encourage him and travel with him to out of town gigs. To get an update on Conrad and help him pro-mote his upcoming Mojo Kitchen performance on Dec. 15, EU gave him a call. In a surprisingly mature voice, Conrad told me he is dedicated to his music career and spending his summers touring. It was hard for me to think of Conrad as only 13-years old. Conrad has come a long way since I last saw him at the George’s Music Springing the Blues Fes-tival last year. His performance on the west stage lasted just 45 minutes. Now, Conrad has a hot new band and has toured many festivals and clubs, including the Ground Zero Blues Club in Clarksdale, Mississippi, co-owned by actor Morgan Freeman. “My dad (Michael) fired himself on bass and Danny Roberts now plays bass and Rob Piazza plays drums. Danny played bass with Tom Petty’s original group Mudcrutch. Danny also toured with Derek Trucks for 3 years in the early 90s. Danny, along with Charlie Souza and Stan Lynch [former drummer for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and a formi-dable record producer] formed The Mudbreakers. I was invited to lay down guitar and piano tracks for The Mudbreakers album; they are currently working on it and should have it completed by next week.” “To answer your question whether I prefer piano or guitar, I will say I like them both equally. I started out on piano and I can do things on the piano that I can’t do on guitar (and vice versa). But I’m re-ally into the guitar now. And yes, I’ve been studying hard at the La Villa School. I do plan to go to Doug-las Anderson School of the Arts, so my winters are devoted to school and some weekend gigs mostly out of town, and my summers are open for touring extensively.” Conrad Oberg along with Rob Piazza and Danny Roberts will perform at Mojo Kitchen on Beach Bou-levard at the beaches. This is one of the few shows Conrad will be doing in Jacksonville in the foresee-able future. His unlimited talent needs a worldwide universe to thrive.

interview with Conrad ObergBy Rick gRant [email protected]

Jim McKabba Band Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)

Conrad Oberg Mojo Kitchen, Jax Beach

Buffalo Tears TSI, Jax (635-3024)

Porcelain Black Frecnh Quarter, Jax (732-9550)

Last To Leave Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)

2legit Shantytown, Jax

General Tso’s Fury Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Alexander Seier Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)

The Secret State Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473)

Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828)

UNF Yule Slide Town Center, Jax

Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317)

Officer Flossie, Demorior Murray Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807)

Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855)

Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill, Jax (287-9900)

Chelsea Saddler Tijuana Flats, Jax (292-1599)

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 16Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555)

Dan Shepherd Harpoon Louie’s, Jax (389-5631)

Kelanie Gloeckler New Life Christian Fellowship, Jax

Social Jet Lag Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Knock Galley West Doozers Pub, Jax

Drunk Horses Fast Boys, Jax Beach

Isaac Byrd Jr. De Real Ting Café, Jax

Alexander Seier Wakey Wakey Eggs & Bakery, Jax Beach

Tarik Hassan Sahara Café, Jax

John Winters Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Jimmy Parrish Carib Key, Jax Beach (270-8940)

Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646)

3rd Bass The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)

El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Cloud 9 Sundog Diner, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

Michael Funge Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (249-9595)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 17Joey Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Laughing Bones Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Lary Smith Harmonious Monks, Jax (886-3040)


Goliath Casbah, Jax (981-9966)

Band of Destiny Square One, Jax (306-9004)

This Waking Moment Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)

Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765)

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18Open Mic Jam Nice House of Music, Orange Park

Second String Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

Jim Brady Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)

Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646)

Big Engine Sharkey’s, Orange Park

Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax (355-5099)

Blistur Rivers Edge, Fernandina Beach (491-3849)

Astronautalis Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Battle Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)

Dave Massey Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551)

Those Guys Hurricane Patty’s, St. Augustine (827-1822)

Scenic Void Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Ron Perry Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)

Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Vinnie Jacobs Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Mystic Dino Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181)

Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax

Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299)

Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)

Ron Perry Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765)

Youth Ministry Choir Town Center, Jax

El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004)

TUESDAY-WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18-19Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19Mr. Beam Casa Marina, Jax Beach (270-0025)

Blistur French Quarter, Jax (732-9550)

Deaux Oh Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)

Flyin South Michelle’s, Jax

Outlaw Son, The Renegades The Pub, Neptune Beach

Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299)

Tracey Silverman Florida Theatre, Jax

Once upon a time 5 Points was considered the victim of urban blight and decay. There were empty storefronts, shady bars, creepy restaurants and plenty of loitering ne’r-do-wells. But then, in the late seventies, some of the more artsy stores decided to join Edge City along the strip of Park Street. The rent was fairly cheap and a rare breed of subculture was forming all over Riverside. Artsy folk, homosexuals, and punk rockers started to mark Riverside as their own and a new age dawned in 5 Points. Before long there was the Fusion Café, Now Hear This Records, the Theory Shoppe and Big Shiny Shoes ushering in a whole new vibe on the old corner. Club Five had long been a staple of the street, but now it was complemented by a whole bastion of daytime youth culture. Slowly the antique stores were going away and clothing shops like Hypnotique and Wolfgang were taking hold. It was the dawn of the

punk and there was pink hair and Doc Martins every-where. The youth culture thought they had taken this spot and it would remain theirs forever. But when the artsy community moves in and starts buying and fashionably restoring homes, creat-ing a vital and exciting community, the people with money suddenly become interested. It wasn’t long before the artsy types couldn’t afford to even rent a place in the burgeoning neighborhood. Then Club Five closed. No more Saturday Night Seduction with scantily clad chicks dancing in cages and drunk gothic girls romping around the neighborhood at night. All the record stores left. Theory Shoppe faded into Einstein’s Kitsch Inn which faded out. Some new stores are trying their hand, but for the most part the old neigh-borhood is gone and there is some new hybrid of money and fashion that is taking its place. Edge City

is still there and some remnants of youth culture, such as Nicotine and Caribbean Connection, still stick to 5 Points’ ribs, but more and more artsy kids are finding that they can’t afford to shop there. So what is next in the evolution of this enigmatic neighborhood? Even the high-end interior design stores are finding it too difficult to afford the elevated lease and Fuel only opens on occasion. Starlite and Wall Street are trying to reclaim the nights that the strip once enjoyed, but their success has been mea-ger. Everything seems to hinge on that enormous theatre in the middle of the strip. So what has happened to the old Club Five? It has found Jesus. Pastor Josh Franklin has recently started the 5 Points Church inside of the once dark and debaucher-ous night club, casting out its demons in favor of Christian rock concerts and a more youth-oriented church environment. This past weekend they hosted a concert called Rock for the Rescue, which featured local bands live on stage from 4 pm until late into the night. Most of the bands on the bill were acts that regularly appear on the stage at another Riverside area theatre, the Murray Hill Theatre. Bands such as Matlock, Don’t Sigh Daisy, Among Your Brothers, JoEverett and the Metanoia Project joined headliners The Sophomore Attempt and Shangrala at the newly remodeled digs and rocked to raise money for City Rescue Mission, a faith-based organization that has been helping the homeless and needy since 1946. The 5 Points Church will be convening at the 5 Points Theatre every Sunday evening at 7 pm to hold worship services that are intended for this young and energetic crowd, which digs on their haircuts and tattoos as much as anyone that frequents TSI, but are more prone to be wearing slogan tees that talk about Jesus. It was evident that the Rock for the Rescue event was the first they have put on, since the sound system was terribly ill-equipped for the room, but the gesture is a nice one and we will most likely see more. The 5 points theatre hasn’t sold its soul totally to Jesus, it is available for rental to any organization or event. Not long ago Chancy Productions staged the Rocky Horror Show there, so you can expect to see an eclectic collection of activities happening there. For more information about the church email them at [email protected]. To learn more about City Rescue Mission, visit crmjax.org. To inquire about renting the 5 Points Theatre for your next event, con-tact Susan Adams at [email protected].

5 points finds jesusa riverside institution gets born againBy jon boswoRth [email protected]


upcoming concerts

Southern Trouble Box Seats, Jax (908-7328)

Chelsea Saddler Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)

Rowka Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Johnny Flood Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)

Chelsea Saddler Tijuana Flats, Jax (737-9938)

Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Jesse & Leaa Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Jodies Fiasco Castillo de Mexico, Jax

Soulo Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396)

El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525)

Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)

Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299)

I often wish there were a time machine to take me back to the l940s so I could see the talent of those years in person. Of course, we have movies, TV, and DVDs that have been wonderfully restored to help us live in the past, but that is still not like the real thing. Over the years I have seen several famous people recreated by actors in live performances and they were very realistic interper tations. Hal Holbrook as Mark Twain, Rober t Morse as Truman

Capote and Frank Gorshin as George Burns come to mind. On Saturday, December l5th, at the Wilson Center, Jacksonville residents will have the oppor-tunity to experience the love goddess of the l940s, Rita Hayworth, “live.” The Heat Is On is a theatrical concer t based on Hayworth’s life and performed by Quinn Lemley, who has garnered rave reviews for her show all over the United States. Not only does Miss Lemley

the heat is onQuinn Lemley is Rita Hayworth

bear a remarkable likeness to Miss. Hayworth, she is said to have all the moves of this famous movie dancer. She can do something even Rita did not do, sing up a storm with a great voice (all of Hayworth‘s great songs in all those movie musicals were lipsynced). This is not just a musical revue, although music, dance and costumes are the largest par t of the show. The Heat Is On also explores her tur-bulent off-screen life, including her five marriages (emphasizing two of her most infamous, to Prince Aly Khan and Orson Welles), and the relationships she had with many leading men, like singer Dick Haymes, Fred Astaire and Frank Sinatra. Miss Hay-worth died in l987 from Alzheimer’s Disease. Rita Hayworth was a pin-up star for American soldiers in WWII, along with Betty Grable, Lana Turner, Jane Russell and Dorothy Lamour. Her fans consider her one of the all-time leading ladies of movie musicals. She was a very fine actress, proving it in films like The Loves of Carmen and Miss Sadie Thompson. Two of my all-time favorite Hayworth movies are Pal Joey with Frank Sinatra and Kim Novak, and Separate Tables with Bur t Lan-caster. You can bet I will be in the audience on Satur-day to experience this homage to Hollywood’s Ul-timate Love Goddess, Rita Hayworth. This concer t will be in Jacksonville for two performances only: 4 pm and 8 pm on December l5th. It will be at the Wilson Center for the Ar ts on the FCCJ South Cam-pus, 1190l Beach Boulevard. Tickets are available by calling (904) 632-3373.

By dick kEREkEs [email protected]

Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Dec. 27, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

JJ Grey & MOFRO Dec. 28-31, Freebird Live, 246-2473

R. Kelly Dec. 30, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309

Willie Nelson Jan. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Blast! Jan. 10, The Times-Union Center, 633-6110

Taj Mahal Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Riders in the Sky Jan. 12, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Perpetual Groove Jan. 12, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Galatic Jan.13, Freebird Live, 246-2473

The Machine Performs Pink Floyd Jan. 16, Freebird Live

Kathy Griffin Jan. 17, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Roy Clark and Junior Brown Jan.18, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Enter the Haggis, Jan.18 , Cafe Eleven, 469-9311

Mojo Warriors (Ex Karl Denson/Tishamingo) Jan. 18, Freebird Live

The Unity Music Festival featuring Rabbit In The Moon, Bad Boy Bill, George acosta, Mike B., Ying Yang Twins, Trina, Lil Webbie, Lil Boosie, Young Cash, Bigga Rankins & more Jan 19, Metropolitan Park, Info: 1-888-UNITY21

Dancing With The Stars - The Tour Jan 22, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309

Cherryholmes Jan. 26, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Ring of Fire - The Music of Johnny Cash Jan. 28, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Tim Reynolds Jan. 31, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Sister Hazel Feb. 1, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Classic albums Live - Led Zeppelin IV Feb. 5, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Donna The Buffalo Feb. 9, Freebird Live, 246-2473

Trisha Yearwood Feb.14, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

The B-52’s Feb. 15, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

Van Halen Feb 16, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309

Lalah Hathaway Feb.17, Florida Theatre, 355-2787


art events

This Saturday, I got the opportunity to go on a Historic Church Tour of churches in Downtown Jack-sonville. Starting at the new Main Library, our tour guides offered us a map and a list of nine churches to visit, most of which stand just a few blocks from each other, giving the area the unofficial title of “the Cathedral District.” The tour was loosely conducted to allow each visitor to spend as much or little time as they wanted at any location, with trolleys stopping periodically at every church. I took to the East Loop of the Church Tour on foot, getting to know these stately buildings as real places of worship for the first time. I always assumed that most of the churches in the downtown area served more of a civic, historical capacity than as a working house of God. I imagined that perhaps God had moved out to the suburbs and let us use the churches as museums or storage. You see, the churches in Downtown Jack-sonville were originally built to serve the folks who lived in the neighborhoods around them. Before the Great Fire of 1901, Downtown Jacksonville had many more residential homes, but the communities destroyed were never replaced. Consequently, many of the Downtown churches no longer host neighbor-hood families, but they still hold services and oper-ate with a congregation who specifically chooses their church. What surprised me was the vibrancy that these old buildings still retain. Not only is each of them meticulously cared for, their staff members were all

very knowledgeable of their church’s history. The best part: it was just like learning about the remark-able history of famous churches in Europe, except they’re right here in town and the stories don’t go as far back in time.

First Presbyterian Church: Located just 4 blocks from the banks of the St. Johns River, the First Pres-byterian Church lured me with the delightful sound

of the carillon bells playing Christmas melodies. This church was built in the Gothic revival style, complete with arched doors, dark wood, and more than 25 stained glass windows filled with light.

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church: The sec-ond-oldest church in the Diocese of St. Augustine, this building contains 30 stained-glass windows by the Franz Mayer Stained Glass Company, based in Munich, Germany. The windows are currently undergoing full restoration. As I entered, I could hear classic madrigal voices echoing off the impossibly high ceilings. As with many Downtown churches, the current structure was built in 1910, following the Great Fire of 1901. There were two previous struc-tures, one of which was burned by Federal Troops during the Civil War.

St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral: Complete with gar-goyles and massive walls of stained glass, this ca-thedral is a beautiful example of Gothic architecture. The sanctuary greeted us with the sound of its pipe organ, which enhanced the gravity one feels when they step into a solemn room of worship. At its core, Gothic architecture is as much about symbolism as it is functionality, and it is truly fascinating to experi-ence an example that causes you to wonder what every detail means.

Historic Mt. Zion AME Church: Listed on the Na-tional Register of Historic Places, this Romanesque Revival structure was built in 1906 and features the city’s only manually pumped leather-bellowed pipe organ. After more than 40 years of silence, the pipe organ is being restored and should be operational within a year. This church was the most alive. I en-tered the sanctuary to hear everyone singing “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!”

historic downtown church tourby donald dusinberre [email protected]

new this week

Melissa R. Wilson (Opening December 15) 8th Street Art Gallery, 39 East 8th Street, Jacksonville, (904) 993-7258 or [email protected]

Jay Shoots Now (Through December 27) PIE Studio, 1827 North Pearl Street, Jacksonville, (904) 247-8337 or piestu-dio.net

ongoingMackenzie Thorpe, (Through December 14) R. Roberts Gal-lery, 3606 St. Johns Avenue, Avondale, (904) 388-1188

John Tassey, (Through December 15) Waterwheel Art, 5047 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach, (904) 261-2535 or waterwheelgallery.com

Holiday Show, (Through December 22) Monday – Friday, 10 am - 6 pm, Saturday, 10 am – 4 pm Fogle Fine Art & Acces-sories, 3312 Beach Boulevard, foglefineart.com or [email protected]

Flowers In Winter, Featuring Gail Taylor and Frank Matthews(On display until December 29) Bogda, 1253 McDuff Avenue South, Riverside, (904) 387-0852 or [email protected]

On Paper: Archer Prewitt, (Through December 31) The Gallery at Screen Arts, 228 West King Street, St. Augustine, (904) 829-2838 or screenartsflorida.com

Slice of Life, (Through January 6) Opening Reception, De-cember 2, 2 pm – 5 pm, St Augustine Art Association, (904) 824-2310 or staaa.org

Valuistics: A printed installation by James Greene, (Through January 6) MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajackson-ville.org

Minoru Ohira Sculpture Exhibit, (Through January 6) MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org

Coherent Structures, Recent Silverpoint Paintings by Carol Prusa, (Through January 6) MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocaja-cksonville.org

Sculptures by Duncan Johnson, (Through January 6) MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org

Raddle Cross & Dowsing, Installations by Martha Whit-tington, (Through January 6) MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocaja-cksonville.org

Winter Selections: Zachary Freeman and Tonya Lee, (Through January 11) J. Johnson Gallery, 177 4th Avenue North, Jacksonville Beach, 435-3200 or jjohnsongallery.com

Apron Chronicles: A Patchwork of American Recollections, (Through January 16) Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, (904) 280-0614

Abbas Kiarostami: Photographs and Film, (Through January 18) Southeast Museum of Photography, 1200 International Speedway Boulevard, Daytona Beach, smponline.org

Blurring The Lines: Heather Blanton and Ryan Ketterman, (Through January 30) The Haskell Gallery at JIA, jiaarts.org/index.htm

Abstraction and Transition: Charley Harris, (Through Janu-ary 31) Art Center Gallery, 31 West Adams Street, Down-town, blogfromthecenter.blogspot.com

Precious Gifts of Asian Art, (Through January 2008)Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Avenue, Riverside, (904) 356-6857 or cummer.org

28 december13-19, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper

cultural events

The newest theater group in the North Florida opened their second show of the season last weekend presenting Martin McDonagh’s The Pillowman. This play was nominated for a Tony and won The Olivier Award for best play, which is the British equivalent to the Tony. The Orpheus Theater Group website orpheusthe-atergroup.com has a succinct plot summary of this

play: “This intense dramatic thriller tells the story of a writer in a totalitarian state who is investigated for murder when a number of children are gruesomely murdered in a way that mirrors his mostly unpub-lished short stories.” The subject of prisoner interrogation is very timely considering recent headlines questioning our own government about erasing tapes of interrogating prisoners in connection with the war on Iraq. The play opens with the writer Katurian being questioned by detectives. Ariel, played powerfully by Jennifer Gagnon, at first sight looks like the kind of woman I would want to have question me. She is an attractive blonde, wearing a tight white T-shirt. Wow, police heaven! Wrong! Ariel, is no-nonsense, a very physical cop, who seems to delight to beating up and intimidating prisoners. Playing what appears to be the good cop in the team is Wesley Nielsen as Tulolski. He appears to be easy-going and rather folksy with a sense of humor, but before the night is over he proves he can be as cold and callous as Ariel. You may actu-ally start to like him, but beware! In other scenes of this play, Katurian recites some of the stories and others are acted out. This is where the other members of the cast contribute to the black humor that unfolds. Erin Thursby, Entertaining U Staff Writer and

food critic, makes her stage debut in this area and bites off three roles, two as women and one as a man. She experiences what must be a theater first for her as she is smothered to death with a pillow. I am sure you will be seeing more of Erin on local stages in the future. Newcomer to the local theater scene, Justin Bell, also plays multiple roles with great flair. Do any of you remember Tiny Tim? Bell has what I would consider the ultimate Tiny Tim hair do, and it defies description. He performed quite well in these smaller roles. The last time I saw Jeff Wells on stage was at Jacksonville University as Mr. Mushnik. Since then he has been busy in theater and recently directed A Party to Murder at ABET. He plays Michal, Katurian’s brain damaged brother. Is he the one that perpetrated the child murders? Wells give a convincing portrayal of this character A.J. Pratt as Katurian probably has over fifty percent of the lines in this 2 ½ hour show. Pratt keeps topping himself as an actor, and this may be his tour de force performance, as he balances humor and hor-ror in mesmerizing monologues that keep us guessing on the outcome of this play. Jennie Jarvis is one of the founding members of this group (along with Mr. Pratt and Steven Anderson Jr.) and she has selected an outstanding cast. Her deft stage direction explores the many nuances of this complex and intriguing script. The set is minimalist but just enough props are used to make things very interesting, and I especially was moved by the crucifixion scene. (I did mention this is black humor, didn’t I?) The costumes were appropriate to the action, and Erin Thursby did the makeup. (She does great black eyes and bruises, in case you ever need any). The play is performed at The Body Gallery, a commercial business that has tanning, spa services and yoga glasses. It is located at l360 Beach Blvd, two doors down from the Powerhouse Gym. This is a neat place, very clean and comfortable. A back exercise room is used that has about thirty five folding chairs creating what amounts to very intimate in-your-face theatre that is perfect for this play. I want The Orpheus Theater Group to be suc-cessful. They are filling a void left by the Riverside group, First Coast Theatre Arts, when they shut down last year. I like the Theater of the Absurd material, and The Pillowman certainly has many aspects of this genre. First Coast had a very loyal following and I hope they will discover Orpheus and make the trip to Jacksonville Beach. The Pillowman is not for everyone. It has vio-lence and adult language but in the end provides a very thought-provoking evening of theater that the full house audience enjoyed opening night. If good act-ing is your thing, then make plans to see this show. It continues December l4, l5, 2l, and 22 at 8PM. Call 296-3292. Make reservations since seating is limited.

the pillowmanOrpheus Theater Group Reviewby dick kerekes [email protected]

DECEMBER13 Holiday Art Show FCCJ Kent Campus, Jax

13 The Sleeping Beauty On Ice UNF Fine Arts Center, Jax

13-14 Coastal Florida Revisited-Works by Henry VonGenk, III Stellers Gallery, Neptune Beach

13-15 Palencia’s Annual Holiday Show Homes Palancia, St. Augustine

13-15 “It’s A Wonderful Life” Players By the Sea, Jax Beach

13- 15 “It’s A Wonderful Life” Players By The Sea, Jax Beach

13- 15 Constructions: Geryl Goldsleger & Larry Millard FCCJ South Gallery, Jax

13-16 An O-Henry Christmas ABET, Atlantic Beach

13- 30 Art from the Ashes: In Stabiano, Exploring the Ancient Seaside Villas of the Roman Elite Cummer Museum, Jax

13- 30 The Gift of the Magi The Amphitheatre, St. Augustine

13- 31 Winter Selections Exhibition J. Johnson Gallery, Jax Beach

13- 31 Spanish Pathways Museum of History, Amelia Island

13- 31 Hugh Holborn-Spirit Celebration Holborn Gallery, St. Augustine

13- 31 Will Dickey-Images of Florida’s First Coast First Street Gallery, Jax Beach

Museum, Jax

13-JAN. 5 Expressions of Italy Village Gallery, Orange Park

13-JAN. 6 Sculptor: Minoru Ohira Exhibit MOCA, Jax

13-JAN. 12 First Annual Artist Member Holiday Exhibition Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra

13-JAN. 16 Apron Chronicles: A Patchwork of American Recollections Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra

13-JAN. 30 “Blurring the Lines” Photography by Heather Blanton & Ryan Ketterman JIA, Jax

13-JAN. 31 Featured Artist: Charley Harris The Art Center, Jax

13-FEB. 3 In Stabiano: Exploring Ancient Seaside Villas of the Roman Elite Cummer Museum, Jax

13-FEB. 28 Oh Say Can You See: American Art Cummer Museum, Jax

14-16 Florida Ballet-The Nutcracker Florida Theatre, Jax

14-16 Seasame Street Live The Arena, Jax

15 Festival of Trees Children’s Story Time Main Library, Jax

15 Holiday Tapestry Ritz Theatre, Jax

15 JSO Musicians Benefit New Life Fellowship, Jax

15 18th Century Christmas Caroling The Plaza, St. Augustine

16 Winter Blitz-Ballroom & Latin Dance Show FCCJ Wilson Center, Jax

20 Travel To Italy-Opera Performed By Bella Voce Cabaret Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra

20 Toga Party Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, Jax

21 Benefit Concert-Jax Symphony UNF Lazzara Hall, Jax


28-FEB. 10 “Breaking Up is Hard To Do” The Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax


31 New Years Eve Party w/Free admission Pump It Up, Jax


Want to see a different Christmas play? Then consider going to Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre (ABET) and its current production of An O. Henry Christmas, which will be on stage until December 16th. This play is an added attraction to their regular season and ABET is offering tickets at the bargain price of $10. The plot is based on the life of the short story writer known as O. Henry and uses four of his best stories as plays within the play. The setting is a railroad yard in New York City in l893. Six homeless people are sitting around a glowing fire, which has a pot of hobo stew cooking to be shared on Christmas Eve. A mysterious interloper, known as O.P., enters and offers to tell stories in trade for a bowl of soup. O.P. is obviously running from the law because he disappears each time a New York policeman (An-drew McCraney) comes to inquire of the group about any strangers they may have seen in the area. O.P. directs each of the homeless in roles that play out the stories. You will immediately recognize two of the stories The Gift of the Magi and The Last Leaf. Margaret Hennessey is an experienced actress, although new to this area. She plays Fran, a lady down on her luck. Ms. Hennessey has extensive expe-rience in costuming, directing and acting. A wonderful

find for ABET and the Jacksonville scene, she shows she knows her way around a stage. Fritz Reinhardt plays Dinty, a cynical old man who is an artist-painter and gets to do his finest mas-terpiece on Christmas Eve. Reinhardt was acting at the beach before most of this cast was born, he is an award winning character actor, and one of the beloved performers in the beaches area. Gwen Cordes is Agnes, a kind and compassion-ate person who is concerned with the health and well-being of young Marguerite (Maria Leitz) who feels her life slipping away as each leaf falls off a nearby vine. Ms. Cordes did many plays in the early years of Play-ers by the Sea, and for the past five years has been very active with the Vintage Players. Ms. Leitz is a Douglas Anderson and Eldon University graduate who is making her debut with ABET. She has a role that is done lying down for the entire play. (My kind of role!) Chris Medina is Hal, the rich kid whose parents tossed him out because he won’t sober up and settle down. Medina is a senior at Foundation Academy, and I can truthfully say I saw him grow up in theater, in many productions at the Jacksonville Beach school. He has good stage presence and I am glad to see he has moved out to community theaters to show off his striking features and considerable talents.

Grover, the tarnished and discredited doctor, is portrayed Terry McCraney, who came to the area from Indiana where he was involved with several theaters. He looks the part of a weary physician who has lost his confidence. I liked the way Gary Rhodes por-trayed the pivotal O.P., who narrates all the action on the stage. O.P. could be played very hard-nosed and rough, but Mr. Rhodes gives him an almost angelic air, displaying kindness and tenderness. Somehow the audience knows that everything will turn out better with O.P. at the helm. George Maida has been active with ABET in ev-ery capacity for the past eight years, including acting, board member, building sets and cooking wonderful gourmet foods for gala openings. This is the first time Maida has directed a play and he was assisted by Tom Hickman. ABET does have a stage that is director friendly. It is very small, which is great for the audience (they are only an arm’s length away), but creates difficulty when you have large casts to move around between the furnishings on the set. I’m sure that his real life occupation as a clinical psychologist came in handy as well. This is billed as a family show, and it is, but I would not bring the small kids since most of the dialogue would be over their heads. A little known fact about O. Henry is that his stories, although still unique, do not have the popularity he once had since Americans do not read as much these days. Would you believe O. Henry is a household name in Russia and his books have been translated and made into movies in that country? All performances will be held at the Adele Grage Cultural Center in Atlantic Beach. Call (904) 249-7l77 for reservations. Don’t miss the O. Henry special. Mark your calendars for January 4, 2008, when ABET will present the first play of the year in North Florida; Arthur Miller’s The Ride Down Mount Morgan.

an o. henry christmasAbeT Theatre Reviewby dick kerekes [email protected]

JANUARY5 Orchids 101 Jax Zoo & Gardens, Jax

10-FEB. 13 Duval County Art Teachers Exhibit JU Brest Museum, Jax

10-APRIL 30 Jazz History Course Taught By Landon Walker First Coast Community Music School, Jax

11-26 “Dearly Departed” Theatre Jax, Jax

11-FEB. 2 “Come Blow Your Horn” Orange Park Community Theatre, Orange Park

18 Ileana Fernandez, Piano-Latin American Music Friday Musicale, Jax

23 House of Life JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

26 Clay County All County Elementary Chorus Thrasher Horne Center, Orange Park

26 Faculty Chamber Music JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

FEBRUARY1 Men of the Deeps-North America’s Only Coal Miners Chorus Thrasher Horne Center, Orange Park

1-16 “Julius X” Players by the Sea, Jax Beach

2 A Day in the Village Ritz Theatre, Jax

9 “Happily Red” Theatre Jax, Jax

9 Tony Steve with Ulysses “Bim” Owens JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

10 So This is Love JU Fine Arts Center, Jax

10-28 Seven Days of Opening Nights 2008 FSU Fine Art Building

14 First Coast Wind Ensemble Valentine’s Concert JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

14-24 Grapes of Wrath Play JU Swisher Theatre, Jax

13-APR. 6 “Company” The Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax

16 Little Women Thrasher Horne Center, Orange Park

21 Griot Festival of African Storytellers Ritz Theatre, Jax

21-MAR. 26 New Paintings By Jenna Bischel JU Brest Museum, Jax

22 Karamu! A Place of Joyful Meeting Ritz Theatre, Jax

23 Storytime & Mask Making Ritz Theatre, Jax

25 Beethoven’s Cello Sonatas JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

29-MAR. 15 “The Ruby Sunrise” Theatre Jax, Jax

MARCH6 Brown Bag Lunch-Choral Concert Sam Marks Chapel, Jax

6-8 Spring Dance Concert JU Swisher Theatre, Jax

APRIL1 JU’s Percussion Ensemble JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax

3-MAY 3 BFA Art Exhibition JU Brest Gallery, Jax

4-12 Oklahoma! Musical JU Swisher Theatre, Jax

4-19 “The Night of the Iguana” Players by the Sea, Jax Beach

5 American Cancer Society Cowford Ball The Fairgrounds, Jax

9-JUNE 1 “Jesus Christ Superstar” The Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax

18-MAY 3 “Absence of a Cello” Theatre Jax, Jax

MAY2-17 “The Underpants” Players by the Sea, Jax Beach

december 13-19, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper30

THE JOCK

by tom weppel

On the first Wednesday of every month Jacksonville hosts its monthly ArtWalk through the gorgeous streets of downtown. Starting up near Hemming Plaza, Christmas lights are strung to and fro across trees, the fountain is edged by local artists setting up displays and people walking around the brick laid streets with wine and beer in plastic cups. Galleries, which are plentiful in Jacksonville’s downtown during ArtWalk, open their doors for the night. Shops stay open in hopes that people will spend a quick buck along their curious stroll. And restaurants are packed, with lines bulging out of doorways. It has got to be one of my all-time favorite local events. And it happens every month! This month’s ArtWalk, being December, was additionally festive and merry for the upcoming, or oc-curring, holiday season. Suddenly the lights strung from tree to tree seemed a little more cheery. And the shopping along the way seemed a little less greedy. Children nestled on Santa’s lap with a long list of toys. Wreathes were hung, the air was chilled, and Christmas trees could be seen through windows here and there. Jacksonville’s library came out full force with the Christmas trees this year, our first stop of the evening. A gathering of about ten or more people all came together to commence the walk at the library. On each level Christmas trees, donated by local companies around town, had been decorated around the theme of a book that could be found in the library. A couple trees used the exotic bird theme, with brightly colored peacock feathers sticking out of the branches and various types of (plastic) birds tweeting away on their own little kindling. One tree was based on the Secret Life of Bees, with clusters of glass ball orna-ments in yellow and red, and little bees and beehives nestled inside the green pine. The trees took fashion, music and even Pirate themes (which was ironically donated by the Bank of Jacksonville). Many trees were themed around children’s books, Tonka trucks, mittens and cute little forest animals spattered across the tree limbs. Food was another great theme, with everything from wine to popcorn serving an ornamental purpose. Even the rivalry between Florida and Florida State made an appearance with two small trees themed in the school colors positioned right next to one another. They should have just made a Tim Tebow tree instead. Because, really, what else matters anymore. Following the library, we made our way from gallery to pub, to outdoor concert, to live art being cre-ated on the street (cans of spray paint and knee pads unite!). It was crowded. The city skyline looked beau-tiful viewed from below instead of afar and I began to wish downtown could always be this way, crowded and alive. We really do have a fine-looking downtown, gone to waste most nights of the month. What is so interesting and amazing about Jacksonville’s ArtWalk is how involved the city is in the whole process. MOCA shines bright onto Hemming Plaza. The libraries, old and new, open their doors with awesome exhibits, and JSO comes out to protect us. It is very different from the ArtWalks in other cities I have gone to. Tallahassee has a fabulous ArtWalk, called First Friday, that takes place in the art district of Railroad Square. It’s really more like an Art Street Party with aside warehouses turned into galleries and their walls splashed with vivid murals, clustered together in the remote cul-de-sac. The Fine Arts program from Florida State opens their studio spaces so the art students can showcase their work. There is a bonfire with guitar and dancing and lots of dreadlocks. And wine is sold in Styrofoam cups for two bucks a pop. It’s very dif-ferent. Very hippie. And wonderful in its way, but not so encompassing of the entire city. Oakland has a First Friday as well. Suggestive of a wannabe version of Jacksonville’s ArtWalk, it also takes place downtown. But the turnout was meager, usually consisting of hipsters and hippies (which seems to be a popular combination). It had a great display of art, something that Oakland does not lack, but the unity, the organization and the involvement of major city endeavors was very much lacking. It seemed more as if the city turned a blind eye for the night to let the artists wander the streets like hooligans. Which was fun, in its own kind of way, but also gave one a slight sense of grime (which could have also been caused by the insanely dirty streets or the hoodlums watching for you from around every corner). In general, in any city, I think ArtWalks are an awesome experience. But, Jacksonville has really hit this nail on the head. That’s probably why it’s on Wednesday instead of Friday. Because it’s better. It has to come first. Maybe every other night of the week will soon catch up. I would sure like to make every night in downtown Jacksonville a walk of art.

JAGUARS The Jaguars come off a dominant win against the Carolina Panthers and now, at 9-4, are looking very strongly at a wild card playoff slot. Next they go up against a very good Pittsburgh Steelers squad. The game should serve as another solid barometer for the Jags to see where they stand amongst the best in the AFC. Jacksonville is playing good foot-ball. Offensively, they’ve gotten great play from QB David Garrard and RB Fred Taylor. The O-line has been effective in taking care of business, both in pass protection and in run-blocking. The receivers have shown signs of play-making. That has been a crutch for the offense all season. Defensively, the Jags have also been solid. They will need to show that off when they go to Pittsburgh, as the Steelers are a proven outfit. And you must give some credit to Jackie Del Rio and his coaching staff, for putting together a pretty good plan and outfit, as they now are one of the top teams in the NFL. It should be fun to see how these guys operate in the last weeks, then see who they’ll have to play in the postseason on the road. Not too many teams will want to play them. ‘THE OTHER THIRTY ONE’ The hapless Miami Dolphins will host the Baltimore Ravens, a team that has been beaten up the past few weeks by the Pats and the Colts. It’s amazing how the ‘Fins have totally disintegrated. They have vir tually one shot at winning a game these days. They are totally inept on offense, they have given up points on defense, and they are a bad, bad team. It will not be easy to bring the team back to respectability. Also, it must be decided whether to bring back first-year head coach Cam Cameron. It’s really tough to be a Miami fan these days. Meanwhile, the Patriots are back to playing their dominant brand of football. They took care of the Steelers quite easily, and now they will host the Jets, whom they should beat to a pulp on Sunday. It seems the boys are heading to a 16-0 campaign. Ironically, the Pats and Dolphins will play in a few weeks. I’m guessing the Pats could be favored by as many as 30 points if not more. COLLEGE BASKETBALL This weekend the Florida Gator basketball squad comes into town to play Georgia Southern at the Jacksonville Coliseum. I had to bring this up because some Gator fans are still reveling over Tebow’s Heisman win and might’ve totally forgotten they do have a basketball team that is actually damn good. It’s ridiculous to me that Gator fans have such little respect for their roundballers. If Billy Donovan had done what he did at a program noted for their

basketball play, he would be such a huge king of the land it wouldn’t be funny. You might think I’m being facetious, but if you think I’m wrong, then let’s see how many Tebow signs and T-shir ts we’ll see at the Coliseum on Saturday. It will be almost stupid to see fans cheering for a football player at a basket-ball game and I don’t think it will change at all. I’m almost shocked that Donovan has stayed at Florida. If not for his fabulous contract and his family ties in that area, he easily could’ve fled. So, we’ll see if Gator basketball draws a crowd, here in a town that without question has a large number of supporters. LAST WORD Here are two stories about two Quarterbacks who couldn’t be on more opposite ends of the spec-trum. Florida Gator QB Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy last weekend. He is the first sophomore EVER to do so. We all know he had a fabulous year for the Gators. We all know of his work religiously, here and in other lands, especially with his father. He is a great guy with a great family. In winning that award, though, I believe Tim Tebow will operate like nothing short of a rock star on the Gainesville campus. There will not be one thing he can do without attracting attention in some way, shape, or form. He will have to have help, literally, in taking care of his business, even when it comes down to simply going to class or taking care of simple stuff that you and I are used to doing with no problem. I almost believe it will be a nightmare. We shall see. Then you have Michael Vick, who was sen-tenced to 23 months in federal prison for his involve-ment in the dog fighting ring that operated on his property in Virginia. Vick’s life had so much promise and opportunity. He had a huge contract signed to play for the Falcons. He had immense talents to lead his team on the field. He had multiple deals signed to do endorsements, from video games to whatever. Because he lied to prosecutors and the FBI, then smoked pot and also killed some of his pit bulls, he will now be in jail and his professional football career is closed, for all intents. He will not get out until late 2009, meaning he will have been out of the game for three years. Even then, what team will want to bring him on, with his past following him? It absolutely blows my mind that a guy with so much talent, so much opportunity, and so much available to him could do such completely stupid, idiotic actions. Michael Vick deserves everything that will now happen to him, and he will have a very, very hard time living the rest of his life, to any degree. Tom Weppel talks trash with Greg Larson, Lonnie Marts, Eugene Chung, Artis Gilmore, and Ron Du-guay on SportsAvengers.com 24/7.


nascar news & notesby RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected]

Stewart To RCR I Hope! Now is that a headline or what? The past few days I’ve been taking with some friends (yes I do still have a few of them, even after I’ve been writing this column, although they may be mad at me sometimes) and every single one I talked with says that if Stewart goes with Gibbs to Toyota, they ain’t going to like him no more. Now to some of you that may seem like no big deal and it don’t matter to you who Tony drivers for, but to us it is a big one Real Big Deal! We’re talking TOYOTA, not Ford or Chevy or Dodge, TOYOTA. Why even Chev-rolet is freaking out over it, and they want to keep Stewart in a Chevy any way they can. The way I understand it, and how I come up with sending Stewart to RCR is that when you have Chevrolet with their big bucks and Toyota with their many dollars, this could be more exciting than Dale Jr. and DEI. You haven’t heard much about how Tony feels about the car change, only a comment or two, and he really can’t say much more than that. He knows that with the hoopla that Junior just went through and all the other stuff that has been going on in NA$CAR, he needs to bide his time. The other day Gibbs wanted to talk about extending his contract, which is up in 2009, but ole Tony said he wants the time during the off-season to be off, with no talk of contracts. He probably only wants to hear about what’s for Christmas dinner and what’s on the New Year’s party menu. There I go picking on Tony because of his size, we all know size don’t matter, especially when

it comes to a NA$CAR driver. Hey sure, Stewart could loose a couple of pounds, but he ain’t the only one. He gets the job done, though, and real well too. Supposedly Stewart could leave Gibbs before the 2008 season because something in his current contract says that any major equipment changes can be considered as an out for him. Bubbas and Bubba-ettes, if changing to another car manufacturer ain’t major then what the heck is? Soooo if Tony wants to stay in a Chevy it seems that here is his way out. This stuff about no talkie contractie may be the be-ginning of the “Silly Off Season.” As for RCR and Stewart, well that’s easy. I mean, heck, what other Chevrolet team has a bet-ter program and could afford Tony than Richard Childress? He could be Front Row Joe’s teammate or maybe Mayfield & Riggs, yea right. There is one other team that would give Stewart shelter from the storm and that’s DEI. Oh baby wouldn’t Mrs. T love to get the pot stirred up in the off season. She’s had enough fun during the regular season, so from now until the 500 would be right up her alley. HMS is totally out of the question, but then again, there is Casey Mears. We know just how loyal Rick Hendrick can be, don’t we. Watch your back Casey. Who says ya’ can’t compare NA$CAR to major league sports? HMS and Rick are getting more like the Yankees and George Steinbrenner every year. Na, I don’t think he’d do it again to another driver like he did to Kyle Bush, but ya’ never know. With the new four car team limit, he won’t be able

to add another driver. The limit of teams makes it a great chance for Childress. It is Stewart’s next work place because Richard said a while back that he plans to have a fourth team soon but would not name a driver just yet. Hmmmm Another strike against DEI is that there isn’t much talk about a 4th car and it would appear their plate is full now. Like Mr. Spock would say, it’s only logical that Tony Stewart would be driving for Richard Childress Rac-ing next season. And that will just fine with me (and a bunch of other people, I bet). I’ll even go further and say Home Depot could live with it too. Did ya see that Bruton Smith’s Christmas lights caught fire the other night? BS was home and the firemen had to tell him, “Hey BS, you’re on fire.” But ole BS probably didn’t give the fire fighters a free ticket to anything, like Brian France did when the cops came over to his house. Ya’ll remember when he was out drunk driving and made it back to the safety of his condo and the police came knock-ing and nobody went to jail? I may be wrong about Mr. Smith and he just might have served eggnog and handed out gifts, I sure would have showed my gratefulness to those guys. It’s like that guy that saved Jack Roush in that lake that time. Bet he goes to any NA$CAR race he wants to. Jack impress me as the kind of man that shows his gratitude and can also show his ire if need be. I am not suppose to be doing this, since I had a gag order placed on me from the 81st district court about not talking about my contract negotiations with my friend and publisher Will. Well I’m not talk-ing about it, it’s my fingers that are moving and not my lips, so here goes. Negotiations are not going well and Will is being a Missouri Mule, as far as my fingers are concerned, but the little guy is seemingly

getting into the Christmas spirit and I really do think the deal will be done and the lines will be signed right after Christmas. I’ve been working on my Night Before Christmas poem and I think it may be a nice one. Here’s a taste for ya:

T’was the night before Christmas And all around DEI The stockings were hung Right next to the spies

Since the long cold season Was over and dun Junior was history Time for Teresa to have fun

The eight car is repainted Mark is ready to flyHe shares the seat again And hopes not with a spy

With one junior alone In this famous stable Truex now to sits At Junior’s old table

That’s enough and remember, it’s just a start and could get better. It could get worse. But hey, who’s writing this, me or you? Now if you got some ideas I am always open to them, but it don’t mean I’ll use them. If I do think one is better than mine, I’ll put it in instead. Like Mick said, it belonga to me. Seri-ously, if you got one, send it in and ya’ll know where, it’s at the top of this column. Well, I’m done again. Remember, If it ain’t NA$CAR, It ain’t s**t!!

JACKSONVILLE · ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS A global treasure that has delighted three generations of fans, comes to the big screen for the first time. The live-action/CGI motion picture

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