ALA Presentation Negotiating Beyond Gender

ALA SeminarNegotiating

Pink and Blue

Victoria Pynchon, Esq.She Negotiates Coaching and Training

SheNegotiates.comShe Negotiates at ForbesWoman

Every

negotiation is

an attempt to

resolve a

conflict

• see the big picture

• work through steps

• share experiences

• learn what both sides could gain

• focus on what both sides need

• attempt to satisfy both parties needs

Bargaining Advantages

BARGAININGDISADVANTAGES

• Value relationship over money• Don’t like anchoring high• Afraid asking for too much will make

bargaining partner withdraw• Work faster and longer for same

benefit• Don’t recognize the opportunity to

negotiate

Bargaining Advantages

• feel advantage

• feel entitled

• less likely to back down

• view negotiation from more self-serving perspective

• stronger speakers

• seek more power

• intimidate

Bargaining

Disadvantages

• Little inquiry into partner’s needs/desires

• Tends to move quickly toward threat

• Won’t share information

• Doesn’t believe win-win possible or desirable

Perceived Relative Deprivation

+ Injurious Event

=

Naming, Blaming and Claiming

• $250 million antitrust lawsuit

• Lose 3 associates

• originating partner knows nothing

• client hires new trial team

• Several colleagues know I’m looking

• Business manager

– “I’m concerned for you”

– “Absent favorable recommendation, no move”

STAKEHOLDERS

YOU

ME

CLIENT

NEW COUNSEL

SENIOR PARTNER

me

What conflict?

If you complain, you won’t have this client’s business ever again

NEW COUNSEL

me

WHAT DOES EVERYONE WANT?

SENIOR PARTNER

NEW COUNSEL

CLIENT me

Getting Them to Do What They

Don’t Want to Do

INGRATIATION

PROMISES

THREATS

SHAMING

GAMESMANSHIP

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

Mutual Benefit Negotiation

MECLIENT

NEW COUNSEL

SENIOR PARTNER

Ask Diagnostic Questions

• Who

• What

• When

• Where

• Why

• How

Identify Interests

Reason Giving

• 98% compliance

• 97% compliance

• 60% compliance

PUT AS MANY OPTIONS

ON THE TABLE AS POSSIBLE

MAKE CONCESSIONS

DEMAND RECIPROCITY

LOG ROLL

Negotiating

from a

Position of

Weakness

Behind every accusation is a

cry for help

Gloria Feldt, former PP CEO,

No Excuses - Nine Ways

Women Can Change the Way

We Think about Power

• Value your piece of the puzzle

• View yourself as powerful & an influence for good

– Power of personality/presence

– Power of expertise

• Deepen relationships

• Set agenda & deliver the goods

– Lead staff rather than follow “boss”

– Empower yourself & take action

Are they liars, cheats and thieves or do they have hidden interests.

– Personal (unrelated to you or deal)

– Relational (related to you but not to deal, i.e., “face”)

– Political, social, cultural

• Are they difficult or simply

uninformed

– Educate them about their true

interests, consequences of their

actions, our BATNA

– Help them understand what is in

their best interest

– Determine whether they’ve

misunderstood or ignored a crucial

piece of information

Are they irrational or are

they operating under

hidden constraints

– Institutional

– Precedential

– Promises to others

• Hidden

stakeholders

– Deadlines

Close!