Adventure 1 Sizing Yourself Up as a Dad · my son(s). + Video Notes (Highlights and memory joggers from the video and space for your own notes) The video presenters are Robert Lewis

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Sizing Yourself Up as a Dad+ Prepare…and Share

(This section will help you prepare for each adventure as well as share your applications from the previous week.)◆ Come to this opening session with the knowledge that other

dads are thinking about and struggling with the same issues that are on your mind and heart.

◆ Make sure you have a copy of Robert Lewis’ book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight.

◆ Look over your calendar to know that you’ve scheduled in time to attend all six of these adventure sessions. Since each adventure builds upon the previous ones, you don’t want to miss any!

+ What to Look For in

this Adventure (objective)◆ How am I measuring up as a dad?

+ What to Expect

◆ I will plan and carry out a “size-up” conversation with my son(s).

+ Video Notes

(Highlights and memory joggers from the video and space for your own notes)The video presenters are Robert Lewis and Dennis Rainey.

◆ Dads need to come up with a game plan for how to raise their sons to be authentic men.

◆ Young men face three formidable challenges:1. Many homes are breaking down today. 40/40 Crisis: • 40 percent of young men grow up in homes without a

dad. • An additional 40 percent report they don’t feel close

to their dads.

Adventure 1

ROYALProclamation:

Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of

sons is their fathers.

PROVERBS 17:6

RMDK FINAL Pages CS2.indd 3RMDK FINAL Pages CS2.indd 3 8/29/2005 11:02:13 AM8/29/2005 11:02:13 AM

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• All this, and more, is creating a confused or “dumbed down” masculinity.

2. Most young men have never been told what it means to be a man.

3. Today, there is no “process” for developing masculinity in America.

◆ The answer to these challenges is in three letters: D-A-D.

◆ GLORY is a word that, in some instances, means “weight”—referring to a substance that brings with it strength, stature, and stability. Without a father’s direction and “weight,” sons become weightless and are blown around by every seductive and deceptive wind society has to offer.

◆ Three types of dads:1. ABSENT dads are invisible and are only shadows in a boy’s

life.2. INVOLVED dads participate in their sons’ lives but

without a plan. This kind of dad is often a vision-less or shapeless dad. He has overlooked investing a core of clear, masculine directives into his son’s life which are vital to his success.

3. STRATEGIC dads have a well thought out plan and vision. They understand the true sense of masculinity and know how to deposit it in their son’s life.

◆ Personal Notes:

◆ THIS SERIES IS GOING TO BE AN ADVENTURE IN STRATEGIC FATHERHOOD!

Adventure 1

The King’sPromiseS

The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His

compassions never fail. They are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

LAMENTATIONS 3:22-23

“ ‘I will be a Father to you,

and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the

LORD Almighty.”

2 CORINTHIANS 6:18

Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we

not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to

them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness.

HEBREWS 12:9-10

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+ Initial Reaction to the Video

(Your leader will give you a few moments to react to what you’ve just seen using the following questions. Bring these thoughts into Your Round Table Discussion.)

What one thing impacted you the most in this opening session?

Which of the dads in the video could you most identify with? Why?

At what point did you begin to think, “This is something I need.”

+ Your Round Table Discussion

“We can raise our sons into a vibrant and healthy masculinity.” (Robert Lewis)

1. Robert and Dennis began the video presentation with some ideas about the journey (or roller coaster ride) of raising sons. How would you describe where you are right now in that journey?

2. Tell us a little about your son(s).

Adventure 1

“How does a boy grow into a man? A real man? A godly man? One with

character, conviction, and vision? Where does he go to

fi nd a manly sense of himself? Who confers upon him the title and responsibilities of manhood? If questions like these scare you because you

intuitively sense they are your responsibility, join

the crowd.”

RMDK, P. 3


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3. What would you say are some of your greatest joys as a dad? What are some of your biggest fears?

4. Which of the three types of dads set forth by Robert most closely fi ts how you understand and practice fathering? Pick one below and describe how you presently father your son.

◆ Shadow/Invisible/Absent—Not “there” even if I am there. ◆ Shapeless/Involved—“There” but clueless about a plan. ◆ Strategic/Intentional—All “there” with a purposeful

fatherhood.

A Last Word from Robert Lewis“In these sessions we want to encourage hearts. We want to build up dads. We want them to be able to go forth with a sense of both strategy and excitement—and then watch their sons’ eyes light up! This is the beginning. We’re off on an adventure of Strategic Fatherhood!”

+ Dad’s Challenge

Robert’s challenge: To interview your son for a status report on how you are doing as a dad. Remember Robert’s words, “There’s no better place to size yourself up as a dad than to talk directly to your son.”

◆ Make the occasion special and fun by sharing a meal, a walk, or an ice cream treat.

◆ Tell your son a little about the group of dads you’re meeting with and the purpose of your time with him on this occasion—not to put him on the spot but to give him some context for the discussion.

◆ Suggested questions you can choose to use in your interview:• How am I doing, or where am I succeeding with you as a dad?• What do I do best as a dad?• Where do you think I sometimes fall short as a dad?• What is one thing you would change about me as a dad if

you could?

Adventure 1


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◆ Listen to what your son has to say. Don’t react to any negative comments. Remember, this is an interview for the purpose of understanding. Instead of reacting, ask him to explain why he said what he said. Above all, keep this discussion positive and upbeat. At the end, thank him for what he shared with you.

◆ It would be good for you, as a dad, to do a “size-up” interview like this with your son(s) yearly.

+ The Knight’s Commitment

Before you conclude this session in prayer, sign the “Knight’s Commitment” page at the end of this Adventure I session. Have the other dads sign your commitment as witnesses. You do the same for them.

+ Dad’s Prayer

God, my Father, I join with these dads in a quest for a Strategic Fatherhood we can live out for our sons. Help us to point our sons to You. Allow us to use this “round table” and the principles we learn here to help accomplish Your perfect plan in our boys’ lives. Challenge us through these sessions together. Help us to be faithful to our commitment to be knights and to raise knights that can serve You with their whole hearts. In the name of Jesus our King, Amen—we mean it.

◆ By next session, read chapters 1 and 2 of Robert’s book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight.

◆ Check out some of the Armor Up readings for this week! Your leader will explain the Armor Up devotionals to you.

+ Journal for the Journey

Below is space for you to record your experience with your son(s) from this week’s Dad’s Challenge.

Where did we go? What did we do?

Adventure 1

“Even though historians would probably say the

knight once popularized by literature was more an ideal

than a reality, still he remains a powerful metaphor. In fact,

I will be so bold as to argue that knighthood—despite

some of its shortcomings—offers to any dad a powerful outline for his son’s successful

journey to manhood.What’s even more encourag-ing is to remember that the light of knighthood arose in the suffocating moral dark-ness and social chaos of the rough-and-tumble Middle Ages. In that sense, knight-hood provides for modern dads a model of hope for

raising sons with moral and spiritual vision, despite our

own increasingly dark and crude culture.”

RMDK, P. 12


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What did I actually ask?

In what ways did my son respond? (body language as well as words)

What did I learn about my son’s view of me as a dad?

Where am I succeeding?

Where am I failing?

What are two or three actions I need to take as a result?

How did this conversation make me proud of and thankful for my son?

Adventure 1


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+ Reading Refl ections

Based on this week’s Raising a Modern-Day Knight assignment: Chapters 1 and 2.

◆ Special Insights

◆ Life-Changing Principles

◆ Personal Application

Adventure 1


Adventure 1 Sizing Yourself Up as a Dad · my son(s). + Video Notes (Highlights and memory joggers from the video and space for your own notes) The video presenters are Robert Lewis

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