Ab Initio

Ab Initio

Sahil Thakur

Copyright 2011, Sahil Thakur

Smashwords Edition

ISBN: 978-1-4661-2946-7

Table of Contents

Heartache's & Heartbreak's

Expectation

Light Bulb

Questionable Acts

My Apocalypse

A Thought

The Doll

Sailing on an unknown voyage. . .

Forlorn of all Hope

Musings at Midnight

Be my Valentine my Dear!

Phantom of My Opera

Jealousy

1. Heartache's & Heartbreak's

How you feign,

Tightly reign.

Emotion so pure,

Only cure.

Expressed to sustain,

Please abstain.

Dismissed in vain,

Failed campaign.

Again I lure,

Finally sure.

Love is mundane,

Relish pain.

2. Expectation

Mother of all evil,

Suckler of seven sins,

Cavorting with the devil,

Thou 'art so proficient with pins.

Willingly puncture the soul so bare,

With wicked strokes so deep,

Bleeding distress, emotions creep,

Its hopelessness that we weep,

For sin nurtured under thy loving care.

Giving pleasure before pain,

Indulgence so sweet, insufferable to abstain,

Making hope such a potent bane,

Dying Aslan bore a flowing mane,

Wherein lies his ultimate gain?

Calling her the ultimate sin

Would not be uncalled for my dear

For crossing the river Styx again

Shall drench thy in bloody fear

3. Light Bulb

As I see the light so bright,

Rushing in through every pore.

Purging evil residing in every site,

I close my eyes to the onslaught more.

When it was dark

I lay alone.

Finding happiness

In things so gore.

When it's so bright

I am still alone.

Basking in serenity

My own personal shore.

I am still in a chasm,

Though now of peace.

Seeking for alms,

Begging for every piece.

Still I miss

The days so dark.

Every mistake

Cloaked in masks.

As I absolve now

In the light so bright.

Every goal desired

Seems in sight.

Lying now under, the golden hue,

I try to seek in, a tranquil few.

Moments perhaps, to finally mend,

The soul to which, darkness had lent.

Its demeanour to battle,

To destroy every light.

Bend every vassal,

To it's all consuming might.

4. Questionable Acts

Every branch seeks a moment’s bliss . . .

Sunlight so sweet, a lovely kiss . . .

Similarly I introspect, emotions I miss . . .

Within a seraphim slithers, emits a hiss . . .

Try to suppress it within, yet it rages on . . .

To sin again is certain, a curse inflicted when born . . .

As we stretch our morals, very fabric of soul immorally torn . . .

Mothers try and chastise, in the end they mourn . . .

What keeps us tethered usually, what if it pushes you beyond . . .

Our conscience keeps on shouting, tries and forges a bond . . .

Corruption seeks a refuge within, a rustic charm so fond . . .

The odds are raised so high, Salvation on the bet . . .

Gamblers are highly indulged, the sweet scent they forget . . .

Hunters hunted with disdain, are helpless trapped in the net . . .

Pain shall beget Pain, Its only Death, why upset?

Every branch seeks a moment’s bliss . . .

Sunlight so sweet, a lovely kiss . . .

Similarly I introspect, emotions I miss . . .

Within a seraphim slithers, emits a hiss . . .

5. My Apocalypse

Lightning rumbles around me,

The sky seems to cry . . .

Gates of Hell are open,

In Lucifer's ire the world's going to fry . . .

The Grudge that I held once,

An instrument of war now my . . .

Pain! Anger! Ah another Desire!

Trains of thought chugging by . . .

(Destroyed by progress,

Plagued with gain, perhaps it’s insane,

Lacking Logic,

Exterminating with disdain . . .)

Confounded by uncertain options,

Future exorcised seems to fly . . .

My Monster now craves for blood,

Thy Bells toll;

Are you ready to die?

6. A Thought

When the chains break,

The links shatter,

The veil implodes,

Everything you hold close leaves you alone . . .

Alone to die, Alone to perish,

Alone to perhaps fragment,

The twisted soul picks up the pieces,

All alone seeking the nemesis. . .

Relationships crack,

The phoenix seems to cry,

The tears have ceased to heal;

It’s finally time to lie . . .

The Burning is now the only way,

To begin anew and find a few,

Reasons to go on and let go,

Those you held close,

Those you held dear,

Actually it’s their fate that breeds in the fear . . .

Thousands have lost everything,

A hundred have gained a dime,

Thoughts are potent shards of soul that can even mime . . .

A thought can win you a game,

A thought can give you pain,

A thought can claim you fame,

A thought can give you shame,

A thought planted well can enable full control,

A thought my friend, Can wager away your soul . . .

But a thought is what I have,

A thought is what I seek,

Forgive me now though I have to cheat . . .

Navigating the mystery forever,

Divine help is bleak;

A positive thought is now a rare feat. . .

It’s in the Darkness now I feed,

The negativity is what I desperately need. . .

7. The Doll

I am smitten with a porcelain doll,

Wish it would never fall...

It would break into a thousand pieces, beyond any rub,

My heart hath no place for each to eternally love...

The facade corporeal, so painted, eternally set,

Features perfect, one can never forget...

The smile so charming, sunshine spreads,

Every pain blissfully sets...

Those deep black pools I smoothly sink,

Captivated, enamoured, stupefied I can't even blink...

The tresses brown smooth as silk,

Blessed thy face, as pure as milk...

Voice sweet, dripping in honey dew,

Thy lips part like petals anew...

I wish my heart be thy emerald cage,

Our love matures like Macallan with age…

I am smitten with a porcelain doll,

Wish it would never fall...

It would break into a thousand pieces, beyond any rub,

My heart hath no place for each to eternally love...

8. Sailing on an unknown voyage . . .

Sailing on an unknown voyage,

Destination nowhere in sight . . .

The winds perhaps have deserted me,

Leaving me to nature's plight . . .

Spinning away in the angry waves,

The vortex demands a worthy fight . . .

Alone, broken, belittled by wicked life,

Charged by the hate that’s now my only might . . .

Perhaps the unknown will be uncovered,

The inferno within will burn bright . . .

Emotions shall override impending fate,

And finally the End may be in sight . . .

9. Forlorn of all Hope

The willing ways surround me,

No path I can tread upon . . .

If life wasn’t such a riddle ahead,

Times so bad, nothing now to moan . . .

They say if wonders could still wonder,

Every emotion spent, the monuments groan . . .

The love that exuded so freely before,

Has long since now be gone . . .

The wait beyond time hasn’t got any close,

Closure so deserved, perhaps hope hasn’t yet shown . . .

Once the fire within shall light,

Extinguish darkness and perhaps thy will be grown . . .

10. Musings at Midnight

The pen becomes a conduit to my heart,

I let liquid emotions flow...

Be it the mighty tidings high,

Or the Sorrow ebbs flowing low...

Be it the Love growing gleefully within,

Or Wisdom that old masters show...

I write these lines; hope they touch you there,

Where no arrow can; however fine the bow...

11. Be my Valentine my Dear!

Will you be my Valentine my Dear?

Because you're No is what I fear . . .

Every night I dream of you,

You are a boon bestowed on few . . .

Your almond eyes that shimmer the rainbow's hue,

Your smile that's fresh like the morning dew,

You nature gentle like the softest breeze,

You are a goddess, please cease to tease . . .

You saunter by, like Venus herself,

Your hair so dark, I lose myself . . .

Your skin shines, sweet summer sunset,

You lend my soul, unshakeable strength . . .

You make my day, with just a single word,

I hope my pleas are finally heard . . .

Allay my fears, refresh my heart,

Before my countenance falls apart . . .

O my fair maiden, just grant me a wish,

Into togetherness, into everlasting bliss . . .

Be my Valentine my Dear,

Because your No is what I fear . . .

12. Phantom of My Opera

The streets are hungry,

Dark Desolate.

Howling winds angry,

Dreary Disconsolate.

Standing amidst the chaos

Scalded, Stroked yet Unfazed,

My spirit unstrung

Sings the dainty lore,

The Ire wasn't there to chaff,

Now runs through every pore.

The stillness uncharted

Begs for a little commotion,

But how can I lend thee

Which I can't myself fathom.

The phantom of my opera holler's

Wicked notes brimming with sin.

Ah ha you hear, don't you dear?

For you can't deny being my kin.

13. Jealousy

The Vines deadly, entangled, entwined,

Rising high towards the blue sky,

Mighty oaks have fallen to her charm unkind,

Diseased by deceit, time flies by. . .

So is the bane Jealousy implacable,

Lighting up several bosoms afire,

Rendering positive action incapable,

Heed to my warning O worthy sire,

Or

Let the vines lead you to thy lair,

And

Be the wood for their daily fire . . .