A Vs C

ACTIVE VS. PASSIVE VOICE

Effectively Using Powerful Verbs

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Use powerful verbs!!!! Embrace Devastate Thrive Invite Entertain Disguise Endure Confront Escape

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Whenever possible, remove helping verbs.am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being

has, have, had

do, does, did

may, must, might

can, could

shall, should

will, would

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The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone. It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved. This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States. There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time. Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream. Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

Write powerfully

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone. It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved. This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States. There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time. Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream. Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

Write powerfully

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone. It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved. This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States. There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time. Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream. Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

Write powerfully

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone. It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved. This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States. There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time. Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream. Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

Write powerfully

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone.

PASSIVE!

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone.

PASSIVE! Everyone does not define

the American Dream the same.

ACTIVE!

Everyone does not define the American Dream the same.

ACTIVE! Definitions of the

American Dream vary greatly.

BETTER!

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone.

Original

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly.

Revised!

It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved.

The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the person involved.

It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved.

WEAK! The American Dream means

little or nothing depending on the person involved.

STRONG!

This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States.

u·ni·tar·y  (yn-tr) adj. 1. Of or relating to a unit. 2. Having the nature of a unit; whole. 3. Based on or characterized by one or

more units.

?????????

This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States.

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly. The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the person involved.

This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States.

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly. The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the person involved.

every citizen of the United States OR person involved

? Is the third sentence really necessary?

There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time.

There have been many Immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time.

Immigrants seek this dream of America as they have for many years.

There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time.

WEAK. Immigrants seek this dream of

America as they have for many years.

BETTER Starry-eyed immigrants passionately

seek this elusive dream of America as they have for many years.

BETTER!

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly. The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the individual. However, starry-eyed immigrants continue to passionately seek this elusive dream of America just as they have for many years.

Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream.

Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream.

No single definition exists, instead many interpretations live in many American hearts.

Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream.

WORDY AND VAGUE

No single definition exists, instead, many interpretations live in many American hearts.

CONCISE!

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly. The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the individual. However, starry-eyed immigrants continue to passionately seek this elusive dream of America just as they have for many years. No single definition exists, instead, many interpretations live in many American hearts.

Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

PASSIVE! Common definitions include working

hard for the acquisitions of wealth. ACTIVE!

Definitions of the American Dream vary greatly. The American Dream means little or nothing depending on the individual. However, starry-eyed immigrants continue to passionately seek this elusive dream of America just as they have for many years. No single definition exists, instead, many interpretations live in many American hearts. Common definitions include working hard for the acquisitions of wealth.

REVISED

The American Dream is not defined the same by everyone. It can have a little to no meaning depending on the person involved. This term is unitary, and is something different for every citizen of the United States. There have been many immigrants who have come to the United States for this popular motive, which has been known for a long time. Although there is no real definition, people have their own interpretation of the American Dream. Common definitions would be to be rich and have a lot of money by the process of hard work.

ORIGINAL

One day last summer, I was at my house with my mom. We were both in the living room, trying to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit us. I was sprawled out on my leather brown couch I was wearing a blue tang top, basketball shorts that I had stolen from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and messy ponytail. My mom was across the room and sitting in her faded blue electric recliner. She was wearing a white tang top; light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down off her left shoulder. We were watching Ghost Whisperer, although she was more into texting on her phone than actually watching the show.

One day last summer, I was at my house with my mom. We were both in the living room, trying to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit us. I was sprawled out on my leather brown couch I was wearing a blue tang top, basketball shorts that I had stolen from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and messy ponytail. My mom was across the room and sitting in her faded blue electric recliner. She was wearing a white tang top; light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down off her left shoulder. We were watching Ghost Whisperer, although she was more into texting on her phone than actually watching the show.

One day last summer, I was at my house with my mom. We were both in the living room, trying to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit us me, I was sprawled out on my leather brown couch.

One sweltering day last summer, trying attempting desperately to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit me, I sprawled passively out on my brown, leather couch.

I was wearing a blue tang top, black basketball shorts that I had stolen from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and messy ponytail.

I wore a blue tank top, black basketball shorts borrowed from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back, messy ponytail.

My mom was a Across the room and sitting my mother sat in her faded blue electric recliner. She was wearing a white tang top; light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down off her left shoulder.

Across the room my mother perched in her faded blue electric recliner wearing a white tank top, light blue jeans, and a neat, tight braid descended off her left shoulder.

We were watching Ghost Whisperer, although she was more into texting on her phone than actually watching the show.

Although watching the Ghost Whisperer, I noticed my mother’s attention more focused on texting than actually watching the show.

One sweltering day last summer, attempting desperately to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit me, I sprawled passively out on my brown, leather couch. I wore a blue tank top, black basketball shorts borrowed from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back, messy ponytail. Across the room my mother perched in her faded blue electric recliner wearing a white tank top, light blue jeans, and a neat, tight braid descended off her left shoulder. Although watching the Ghost Whisperer, I noticed my mother’s attention more focused on texting than actually watching the show.

REVISED

One day last summer, I was at my house with my mom. We were both in the living room, trying to cool down by letting the air conditioning hit us. I was sprawled out on my leather brown couch I was wearing a blue tang top, basketball shorts that I had stolen from my boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and messy ponytail. My mom was across the room and sitting in her faded blue electric recliner. She was wearing a white tang top; light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down off her left shoulder. We were watching Ghost Whisperer, although she was more into texting on her phone than actually watching the show.

ORIGINAL