A story by -=K=-

r'Long long ago, there was this girl who was rn a jc in fhe east. she was a verycharming girl, nice, sweet,pretty, and petite. she had bear.rtiful eyes, and longflowing black hair. She had a very charming smile and.r face which radiatesyor:th, Although she is not a sexy girl, she has r sweei, innocent look,

Then there was this guy, who was from another faculty. This guy had a smallbuilt, had boyish looks, and looked a little like an ah beng. rhis guy was in thesame jc as this girl, and had a girlfriend in another jc, who was from hissecondary school, but when he saw this girl, he was attracted to her. He wascaptivated by her, but he didn't do anything, as he knew tie was attached. Buithere was something that was very weird, thrs girl resenrbles his current girlfrienda iot, and he cannot help it but steal glances at this girl whenever there ii achance to,

Let this gi.l be T while the guy be K..,

And so a year passed, the guy, although he was attracterJ to the girl, didn't tryanything funny to know her or things like that. But as time passes, therelatlonship btw him and his curreni gf started to have prroblems, They wereholding on together while many otlrers have failecl. K knerry that it was not a goodidea to break up with her as that was a crucial point of Lheir lives, the A levels..but it doesn't mean that he has no more love for her, il y,,as just that theirrelationship lacked spice and started to becoine routine

One fine day, K went out to celebrate his friencl's birthrJay and he saw f again ata food court. When he saw her, that furny si--n.;atic;rca,]le ir6ck to hirn aglin.That weird feelrng he had came baci., lc; hi:ri *gairr. fiii:, lilne, he krioivs he cannotresist her anymore. But still he didn't try.-o get tr; i.rr-lour her, hefought down that urge again. so after !Jorrg home, K ivent online,

This world has sometlring called fate, and it irappenecJ i:iiv K ancl T. T v,,as gnlinetoo that night. K doesn't have a habit of talkin Lc stranoei-s online, but tlrat night,he just felt that l-ie needecl to talk to someone. Sc. he went to an irc channel thertwas their school channel and waited. Fate gave them acl-rance, and made T ccme to irc. K lrad kr:own lhe nrci,:

-i used ,in ir.c, brit didn,t

try harcl enough to talk to her, until that day , he just. plr.rcked up his courage totalk t,: her...5o he clouble clicked on her n:ck, anc stai-terl lo say,,

"Hi ,I $aw you today at the food cour,i "

Sht replied " Oh were u the one who r,vas u;earing the purple shirt with the blue3eans? "

K was amazed that she remembered him. 5o they chaur:cl happily crn irc. At thistime in T's head, slre was actually attractecl to K. She thinks that K was a veryhancjsome guy. ( From what she lold K later on ) So whe:"r she saw her tlrat day,it left a very deep impre:ssron. And so they talked airrl taiked, and K. was happyyet Euilty that he had talked to another giri. T knows; il-r;:!- K had a gf, so she onlychatted with K. So cne day passed, and b,tth cf thenr feit happy to have met eachother online.

From that day onlards, K knew that he haci not been a good guy, irc was verysad that he had clid something like that. Although when now he thinks back it wasperfectly airight, in that period of tirne he feels that he is a fltrt. So wheneVer hesaw r in school, hei didn:'t say hi or anytlrinq. iie just "^raiked passed her manyt1mq1w1thou.t saying anylhing Inslde the,:head of r, she was thinking why Ktreal:Fd her firat vu'ay. She,.thoughtlthat fib was the guy who she had talkecj to in

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.r: ;r':J: ; .:i:ir;.. ..ij r;.:ri;

' , ,' i', 'i'1"i": r'.' .lil.',.: .1!l::J:ii:-,j.: . :

,:..:.r;!., .,!' rr :1 . ,a:;

['irc the other day. so she thought that she had talked ic a wrong person, but infact she didn't. so she was very puzzled in her head, and needed to talk to Kagain,,

But T and K didn't make an effort to wait for each other in irc as they had notfallen in love at that point of time.. But once again, fate was in action. when Kcame online one day, T was online again. so K started to talk to T many timesonline.... Then one of the times when K was feeling down bcos of a quarrel withhis gf, he begin to tell T everything... he began to tell her about the problems withhis gf., How his gf neglected him bcos of studying.. and many other things... butat this point of time.. K didn't feel that he had fallen in love with T. He knows heis attracted to T, but he won't just give away his other relationship.

T on the other hand, hasn't like K as well, she just feels that he is a nice person.So when K tell her about his problems with his gf, T was very receptive. She gavehim ideas, and offered some solutions.

Never did she say things to worsen their relationship. So T and K became friendswho only chatted on Irc. So it became like this, and a few months breezed by.The first time they chatted was during november 1999, and they talked manytimes till there was one fateful time during march 2000 when they chatted again.,

K began to chat with r online, as usual, I remember that it was a Tuesday, thatfateful day. K and T chatted just normal talk, and there was an econs projectcoming along, which was due on Thursday. K. and T begin to talk... and K saidsomething that would change their lives forever,..

K said..

K said "H"y, Although we have often talked online, I drdn't feel that I needed toget your number or anything. I didn't feel like talking to u in person, I myselfdon't know why" something like that,,

T replied " yes, because u are "dao", always pretend that u never see me. I oftenwarrted to say hi but u were always walking around in a hurry,'

so K, at this point of time, know that he had not been "normal" to T. He realisedthat he was afraid of being normal to T. why was that so? It is very simple. Tbears an uncanny resemblance to K's gf. Both were sweet petite girls. K wasafraid of taking T as a substitute,. ( they were in the same school, but K's gf atthat time was in another Jc ). And so K asked himself, why are u acting sostrangely towards T? he didn't know,

But he said that golden line " do u want to meet me face to face? " K couldn,tbelieve that he typed that sentence. He keep telling himself.. if T rejects him thisonce, he would never think about asking her out again and leave things as theyare. He really didn't know what to do at that point of time.And T replied.....

" u ATe always so dao towards me, are u sure u wanna rneet me? I don't mindmeeting u face to face.."

K replied " no, I am not someone who is dao... Since u so onz, how abouttomorrow? K was just banging on his chances, He was just asking for the sake ofasking her, and by asking for tomorrow, K thought that she would have alreadymade programmes...

And so T replied " tomorrow I would be having dance rehearsals...."

And so K thought t'well, this is all fated, I would not ask her out anymore...."

BUT ... after saying that... T said... "I can meet u after that..."

T was a very protected girl, She can never go out after B pm. The latest that shecan go is only during special occasions like prom night or chalets with teachers init. So by asking K to go out after her rehearsals, it meant that T would have tomeet K at around B pm. BTW T lives in the west, so she was making a move thatmight get herself into trouble. But when she asked K to meet her after herrehearsals, K didn't think that T parents were so strict, K didn't know that shehad never gone out with guys till such a "late" time. ( the late time was actuallyvery early, after B pm ) And so K replied.....

" can I have your number so that I can contact u to facilitate our meeting?"

And T replied " sure, can I have your number too?"

And that was how K and T exchanged numbers. For such a long time afterknowing T, K has never asked for her number before, neither did T asked for K'snumber. But that night, both of them exchanged therr numbers after about fivemonths, Thatchanged everything forever.

The next day came, and K was in a driernna. He told himself, if T was ever goingto be late, he would just leave, and leave her a voicemail that he was leaving,And so they fixed the meeting time at 7 pm in the evening, K knows that dancerehearsals usually end at around that time, and T would take sometime to meethim at a certain MRT Station control. So 7 pm came, and K's heart raced faster, Kkeep telling himself to wait for T for only 15 mins, The moment K reached, hesent a page to T, telling her that he reached, Time was 7 pm exactly. At that timehandphones were not common, only pagers. K hoped that r would be late and sothat he wcluldn't wait for her, as he feel very very uneasy to meet T, it was likemeeting another variation of his gf.

SO came 7.15, K msged T again to say that he wasleaving, bye. Just like that... just as K was about to leave the mrt, he received apage that said please wait for me, I am coming now, So K was really in adilemna. He didn't know whether to wait or to leave, But to leave just like thatwas very very rude as T was already rushing to meet him. So finally hewa ited.,.

as 7.20 approached, K thought of his gf, he thought that by meeting T, he wasactually being a very unfaithful guy. And he picked himself up to leave. And so Kleft the mrt station, and walked towards the bus interchange.. when he reachedthe bus interchange, who else but Fate rounded them up again,,

K met T at the interchange. At this point of time, K knows that he had no morechance to avoid T, T was staring straight at K's face, asking him why did he startto leave when she asked him towait., K had no reply, K simply said." I was just about to leave, didn't expect to cu here. "

And so K and T went for dinner at the same food court that T had saw K for the

l'\

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first time.. The table where they had sat at is still now visible in K's memory, buthe din know whether T still remembers,

So T and K went to have dinner, and they began to sit down. T started talking toK by apologizing.. she said she was so afraid that K might just go off, as shereally wanted to meet him. K said it was ok for being late, he was often late forappts too, K and T started to talk as if they were old friends, Although it was onlythe first time they met, they seemed to have known each other and chatted likeold buddies.

Throughout the whole dinner, K and T didn't even had a moment of silence orawkwardness. K and T were so much at ease with one another during the firstmeeting that they couldn't believe it, T ate her favourite Beef noodles while K ate

hot plate noodles, a memory that K can never forget' K can never forget how T

liked to scoop each scoop of noodles, add abit of beef, and a little chilli on topbefore eating every spoonful of noodles, K can still remember how T liked tofinish all her food although she was full, as she didn't like to waste food.

So after eating, K and T was about to go home... when K asked T where she live.

And T said, I live in XXXXXX. K thought , man' I am not sending her home, its toofar, I still got an econs project to hand up on Thursday, and today is alreadyWednesday. T and K went to take the mrt, but as T and K were going oppositedirections, f asked " do u want me to send u home?" and so T replied'." I would

love to, but its too far for u,

The time was about 9 pm, and if K sent T home, he would reach home at about11++ pm, which would leave him with very little time to do the project. But K,

being courteous, said, Its ok, I have nothing to do anylvay. ( which was a lie , he

had his econs project to do ) But K didn't know that T also took econs and had tohand up her econs project the next day too. So T in her head, she knew that K

had to hand up a project, but she didn't say it out. She simply Said " its ok, I cango home myself, please don't trouble yourself to send me home" and so K said "ok, then I shall leave, goood bye--" and each of them wenthome themselves.

K dicJn't know that T had never gone out so late before, and he didn't know that Treally wanted him to send her home, but anyway, he needed to get home to do

the project...

The moment K reached home, he began to bang on his project. He had to add

some finishing touches to it. But while he is at it, he kept thinking whether T hadreached home. ( from the food court to T's home was about 1.5 hrs journey ) So

K msged T to come online the moment she reached home, as K was using thecomputer which made him unable to use his phone ( single house phone line and

using dialup)

As K waited online while doing his project, he saw T come online..'

And so he talked to T, he asked her what was she doing online.. then she said..doing the econs project... and T asked K what was he doing.. and K said" imdoing the project too.. T thought about the moment when K said that he gotnothing to do.. she knew it was all a lie^, and so she asked K, "why did u

say u have got nothing to do? Hehe"

K, didn't know what to reply, and So he said.. " Well, it was called't ke qi hua",

n'--'l,

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which means courteous words, and he also confessed that he didn't really meantto really send her home if he had a choice. But T said she understand, as theecons project was quite impt to economics students.

K and T then began to do their project online, while chatting to one another..,both of them worked really hard.. and worked till both were really tired... Butthings were very coincidental. The moment K finished his project, T finished hersas well. He typed " YEAH, I have finished my project!!1,'and i replied,,hey, metoo--!" and both of them were happy and wanted to go to sleep. Then Ksuddenly realised that he has no diskette to bring the project to school. He thenasked T, " can I send u my file now, u help me save in a diskette, and pass it tome tomorrow?"

T replied, sure, but I do not know how to receive a file from u and put it into adiskette.. At this point of time, K laughed in his heart, He didn't know that girlscan be so silly, didn't even know how to search for a file and put into a dis[ette..and so K laughed at r and said "hahaha.. u are so lousy-,, jokingly. K tried to tellher online how to do it, but r, being a typical normal computer weak girl, didn,tunderstand one bit.

K was getting irritated as he was really tired and wanted to get to sleep, but hegot to teach her how to save the flle inside a diskette, and talking to her onlinewasn't going to help things. so K said" give me ur house number, let me call uand teach u how to do it" and so K got her house nuniber, and called her... thatwas the first time that they have talked on ihe phone,, K began to tell her how todo everything, how to save the file and search for it, how to put it in a diskette.After doing all thisfor K, T and K finally went to sleep....

So the next day came, and K went all around to look fcr T. He needed to get thediskette before the economics lesson. So after searching high and low, he finallyfound T at her locker. T passed the diskette to K, and many of T's friends saw it.They were curious how she got to know me, and still pass diskettes to me. sothey asked her, and T told her close friends,, she told them how she knew K.

K, on the other hand, didn't tell anyone that he knew T, all he did was let naturetake its course. K was a confused soul. He find himself drawn to T, but he put upa resistance against T. He knows that if he became entangled with T, his liie wasgoing to be very much affected. So K didn,t ask T out anymore.

But T began to enjoy talking to K, T paged K often, and they chatted. T had otherguys liking her, but she didn't talk to anyone of them for long when they calledher. ( dun ask me why K knew this ) So T and K often talked-on the phone. K hada gf in another school, but she was often sleeping when K reached home. K calledT when she pages him, but he never made the first moves. He knew by doing so,he was telling T that he likes her. so since the day they met, K and r becamevery close.

one day, T asked K whether he wanted to go to support her during a dancecompetition. She said that if he could go, she would be very glad, That day was asunday, and K had no plans.. K didn't know whether he snould go, as he knowsthat there was school the next day. K asked 2 of his close friend! whether theywould like to go with him, to accompany him there and also to go and take a lookai the dance competition, His friends agreed, and so they went there.. It was atsuntec. The moment K saw T on the stage, he was captivated by her smile. she

I't

wasn't a great dancer, but her smile says everything.

It has been a very very long time since K has seen that happy smile again eversince that day.. but anyway, K was there to support her, and after shJcamedown the stage, T looked all around for K. She knows K was there to support her,and she looked here and there hoping to find K..

K, on the other hand, was with 2 of his close friends, who were getting bored.They decided to go for their meal themselves, and bade goodbye to f] x stood inthe corner while T was searching for him... And finally T found K. T went to K, andsaid " im really happy that u are here to support me'i "K said Well u danced ieallywell., tired? wanna go for a drink?" And so T went with K for a drink at KFC...

when K was at KFC, he sensed many ppre rooking at them, and so he asked T,"are the pple who are looking at us your friends??" T said ,,no, but I know them,,But at that time, both T and K were absorbed with each other, after a while, theybegan to ignore everyone else. They were oblivious to the surroundings. All Kwanted was to have a drink with T, and so he went to q up for their food...

He ordered one large whipped potato and one large drink naturally, he didn,teven ask whther T minded sharing with him. Then as he walked back, he realisedthat he had just assumed that r would share with him. He didn,t know why hedidn't bother to ask T before buying, but he had already bought it.

so he sat down, and asked " do u min sharing with me? " T replied, " no itsperfectly fine" And so T and K happily ate the potato and shared the drink, justlike a couple, From that moment on, T started to like K a litile. She didn,t knowwhy whatever K did, she just accepted it, she didn't mind sharing drinkswith him, she didn't mind eating the same tub of whipped potato. It was verypeculiar, as T and K only went out for the 2nd time, and T was already so friendlywith him. K didn't feel anything at first, he just ate the potato with T like as if heis sharing with an old friend...

suddenly, someone from T's dance group came and pulled r away, saying..theresults are going to be announced soon, hurry lets go to the stage!" and In a flash, T and her friend had ran out of the restaurant., K followed behind, with drink inhand, and all of them reached the place where the results were going to beannounced,

K stood in the same corner as he just came, and sipped slowly at the drink. Afterthe results were announced, T didn't win anything, but she wasn,t sad at all, allshe wanted was to go down stage and talk to K... But at this moment, T,s parentsappeared , and T had to go home with them... The moment r came down thestage, she went straight to K to tell him that she is really sorry she's got to leavenow, and had to leave K alone by himself.. K didn,t mind it at all, but he said,,hey.. u asked me to come here to support u but now I come here and once ufinished u are going home,.. very bad...',

K meant to make T guilty. K had a very bad habit... he never meant anythinghurtful when he says it, He has a good heart but a harsh mouth. But T felt guilty,T was guilty that she asked K to come all the way and then leave him therJalone.. and so T felt very sorry to K, and watched as K took his leave beforegoing back to her parents....

And so K went home alone,.. as he went home.. he kept thinking in his head... didhe begin to treat r differently? Did he unknowingly fallen in love with r? Hethought about the food he bought. Why didn't he buy 2 shares instead of one big

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share ? He was confused. He was guilty to have all these feelings.

That night, T paged K again, and they began to chat... as usual... and so... sincethat day., T was waiting for K to cal her everynight. If K didn't call her, shecouldn't get to sleep... But on the part of K, he was feeling very confused... Everynight he asked his friends out to play cards with him... as his 3 close friends wereall living very near to him, they could play any card game they wanted, likebridge, spades, big 2, anything. so every single day, K went to pray cards withthem, hoping that r would go to sleep instead of waiting for him to call her...every single day, K played till 12am, even when the next day is a school day. Kdidn't reply T's page when he was playing cards, he only replied her when hereached home.. like a few hours later... but T waited.. every night T waited for Kto call her, just like her bf, It was very sad on her part, that guy was anothergirl's bf, and she is the one who is waitingfor him to call her.

One of this nights, K asked T, "why did u wait for me to call u every night???,,T had no answer, she didn't know what to say. But she replied" I don't know, Ijust want to talk to u every night, talking to u is very happy" or something likethat. K wondered that if T liked him during that moment ... he knows too,that hehimself also enjoyed talking to T.

Then on one saturday, T had another competition. T was a dance member, andso she had lots of competitions coming during that time. This time, T made upher mind. She decided to ask K out again.,

She asked him " this time, I am asking u out to dinner tonight, please be able toniake it.." K at that time, didn't know what to do again.., he knows that if hegoes, he might be drawn to T even closer. Once again K fought with his internalfeelings. He didn't know to go or not to go, K asked his friend, " should I go?,'andhis friend replied" no harm going, u two didn't do anything wrong what, eatdinner only" something like that... and so K made up his mind, He made up hismind to go meet T.

when K met r, once again he felt very much at ease, He didn't feel pressured oranything. He enjoyed himself thoroughly, going to diner with T is like a breeze,time flies past before they know it. K and T had the most awesome chemistrythat any couple could have. Never once did they ran out of words to say.Never once did anything happen that could affect their day. They were a couplethat were destined to be together. But K knows he has a gf, and he decided thatthis was going to be the lsat time that he was going to meet r before thingsbecame too late to handle.

so he thought, ok, let me take a picture with her, and let that be the memoryand it shall end here, And so K brought T to take a neoprint, andalasl The print turned out a little distorted. To this day, K stil keeps the distortedpic, it looked pretty cute with K's face puffed up...

And so K took a picture with T, and then sent her home.. on the way home.. Kcould feel that r wanted to say something... T wanted to tell him something, heknew it.. but he didn't probe. T lived some distance away from her mrt station,but there was no bus so often T walked home from the mrt. And that day, Kwalked her home. It was a 15 mins walk, but r and K was silent lor the whlejou rney.

l''"

K knew T wanted to speak, he asked " whatdo u have to say to me?,, But r keptquiet. T said "nothing, nothing" And so K sent her to her doorstep.. and said',haha u live here? Finally I got the chance to send u home ... remember that daywhen we had the project to do? I didn't want to send u home that time...,,

And r said" thank you very much for sending me, I got to go now, its really late,,And bade goodbye to K. It was about 10 pm at that time. And so K went back toschool. He had an Eca camp that night. He dldn't page T or anything after he left,and just thought that the night would pass easily, but it ddidn't Although he hadstuff to do during his ECA, he saw a page, and it was T's number. K wJnted tocall her to ask what issit, but he had work to do. ( he was part of the organisingcommittee.) and so he called her only around 12 am.

When K called T, T was speaking in tattered words, For the first time since theystarted talking on the phone, it was the first time T's voice was like that. K asked" why did u page me ? is anything the matter? " T replied." um., er... she couldn,tget it out of her throat..," K was in a rush, He had to do some work then, and sohe said" quick, i need to do something" And r suddenly blurted out" I like u."

K was stunned. He didn't know what to say. He knew that from that momentthings were never going to be the same again, K remembered that he had thingsto do, and he put down the phone abruptly,," Hey, I have got things to do now,call u another time" and he put down the phone, He went to do his stuff as thejuniors were preparing for their activity. But in his head, he kept thinking, whatwas he going to do now..????

On the side of T, after confessing to K that she likes him, she didn't do anything.she couldn't sleep, and all she could do was to wait for K to call her again. shewaited. one hour, and a few more mins... finally at 1.30 she called K again,. Kdidn't have a handphone at that time, but his friend has one, which wa! onpromotion and was free, and so K borrowed it, and began talking to T...

K said "I really don't know what to tell u , when u tell me this. It is reallysomething which I don't know to be happy or to be sad." Then he asked her,,,dou know that I have a gf? I wont break up with her, I cant do that. I cant affecther studies. The exams would becoming soon." But K also confessed to T,,Actually I like you too, But please don't force me to make a decision,,T , whenshe heard that K liked her too, she was filled with happiness. She realised thatshe was really in love with K. Even when K has a gf, she didn,t care that much,she just want to let K know her feelings for him.

so that day, with lots of feelings, T put down the phone and went to bed.. while Kwas left there thinking by himself. He was in a great dilemna... Every single daypassed and he thought of how to deal with the matter. He tried talking to nisfriends but they were giving him different opinions, Some told K to iuit forgetabout his gf and go with T, as T was really a nice girl. Some told K itrat ttrii finOof girl are not worth it, forget about T., K talked to male friends and the replieswere mostly the same.., He became very down and depressed.

so K went to talk to a girl who was in his ccA, this girl was B. The minute Bheard from K that T confessed to him, she began to say lots of things. she saidwhat she heard from everyl else. B told K that T is not such a simple girl. Shetold K that r liked some guys before and often fooled around. K was hurt. Hedidn't believe what he heard, so he asked B whether she was speaking thetruth. B said that she didn't know if any of these was the truth, but it was whatwas circulating around in school, B told K that with K's qualities, she is notshocked that T would like K. So K became very sad and thought that T was only

li

playing with his feelings.

And so K became a freak. He couldn't eat. His eyes were often dilapidated due tolack of sleep. K suffered for many weeks, he didn,t know what to do. He was sadfor himself, he hated to be entangled in this web. Every day was tough to pass forK' He couldn't eat or sleep well. He felt very stressed r.rp. When his friends weretalking to him, he was often in a daze,, he didn,t tnow ihey were talking-L nin1,.all day he could just do nothing, neither could he concentrate on anythiig he do.The whole time he had to decide whether to give up his gf , or should he iontinueto be with her, and don't care about T, He wis in a dilemna. He knows inside hisheart, he wanted his gf to not be hurt, but he also knew that he had fallen in lovewith T.

Although T and his gf had the same looks, When K is with T, they have somethingwhich not many couples have, which is called chemistry. K brings out the best inT, while T brings out the best in K, and that is called chemistry. But if T was thegirl who often played with guys feelings, K would be really sad if he believed her...Each night, T paged for K to call her, and everytimeK would only call her in the wee hours of the night. K doubted T, and one day, heasked her " did u ever liked someone else before?,,

And T replied " yes I do, it was XXXX. " K thought that whatever his friend B saidwas true, and he probed further... No matter how T replied, K wouldn,t trust r, asthe urords of B were always ringing in his head. Although B didn,t dislike T, shehad to tell K about the things she hear:d about r. B wajn,t a bad mouther, shejust wanted K to make the correct choice. Finally K gave up questioning T, anddecided to trust his own instincts. He knew that r reatty liked him, and-so'hebegan to stop doubting her.

And so the story goes on... T waited for K every night to talk... and each nightpasses just as how it did previously.. T was very sid.. inslde her heart.. sh-ewished that K would ask her to be his gf, but she knows that K has another girl inhis life.. she waited every day for his so called reply... but K didn,t do anything. Ksimply talked to T like how he did last time... so one fine day.. T asked K, what isour relationship now? what are we? K replied.,, I like u and u like me, so we aretalking every night..."

This is the words of an irresponsible person. K knew it, he knew he was beingunfair to T, He was taking T as someone who would wait forever. He knew that Twas waiting for him to give her a reply, but all he did was nothing, so when Tasked that question, K was at another crossroad again. K is a indecisive man.,although he knows he has no more feelings for his-ex gf, he knows that he canthurt her, but if he lied to her, he would jult oe anothei cheater.

so inside his head, he didn't know what to do. Finalry, he told T,,.I cant break upwith her, please don't force me. I really dun wish to do that" This sentence hurtsT a lot. she thought that if K really liked her, why is he treating her just likeson"ieone who is going to be waiting for him forever? But r did;'t say anything,she knows that it was all her fault for telling K that she liked him.

And so T broke down, T said" from the minute I told u I liked u, I neverexpect u to do anything.. I am not pressuring u to do anything. The reason why Itell u I like u is I dun wish to keep my feelings inside me and not let u know,,.

This sentence made K realise how much T is willing to do for him. It also made K

realise that he was being unfair to T and his heart... He made uphis mind then....

so K tried to break up with his gf. But K was soft hearted. He cant do it,Everytime he see her, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Although T did;,tpressure K by words, the pressure was there for K to talk to his-gf. r relt-tite abastard' He knows that his gf was a very very nice girr with wife-quarities,and he doesn't want to hurt her. Although T didn't liave that many gooJ quatities,K felt that T was someone in his life tha[ would affect him forever. it is thatsomething called Fate that K and T had.

so one fine day, K decided to confess to his gf. K had another friend, B, who wasa lady killer. B was a two timer type of guy, who had always cheated girls of theirfeelings' when B w.anted to break up with a girl, it was always because of anothergirl but he would arways say a different reason. K didn,t wantto do what B always did. K needed to tell his gf the truth, K thought that if he tolda lie, it would be even worse for hi.s gf to takdit when she finds dut the truth aswhat every girl that B cheated felt reilly really hurt after that. So K made up hismind.. and he told his gf ', To tell u the truth, I likesomeone else.. please don't be sad over me, take it as a good thing, Breaking upnow, would do u good in future...,,

K knew these words were heartbreaking, but he silll said it, cos whatever he saidwas meant to be the truth... and time had proved that what K said was reallylrue . But at that point of time, K's gf.,. well im tired of saying K,s gf, so let her bX. At that point of time, X fert really hurt.. she cannot forgive x. eithough allalong their relationship X thought that they were not suitable for one un6th*r,and she had asked K that if he ever wanted to break up, please let her know thetruth". and now K had fulfilled her request, but she couldn,t take it.

X was the most heartbroken soul in the world at that point of time. All the 2yrs oftheir relationship, X felt that it was all nothing, It all gone down the drain. So didK, K thought about the 2 yrs they spent together. K thought although ihey-naobeen together for so long, they had lost the feeling of being close tJgether sincethe day they went to different JCs.

But still, K knew it was all his fault. He knew that he had hurt X deeply. Althoughwhen he said that it would be better for X to break up with him, he knew that nomatter what, he ls going to be guilty forever.

And so K and X broke up... K begin to be pragued by hearth probrems. He keephaving gastric problems .. as for the whoie time he is entangled in this problem,he cant eat well, He cant sleep well. K was a emotional and*sentimentai gry. Huknows he has hurt X , and he was feeling very very grifiy.

But all throughout this time, T had a bad time too. Everyone who liked T begin tosay what a guy snatcher she is. Everyone looked at her like a bad girl. t'lo onecould understand how T felt unless they went through it. Even K,s friends lookdown on T, and they were unhappy with K too. K's fiends felt that K had made abig mistake by choosing such a kind of girl as compared with X. They felt that Xwas too good for K to give up, and T was nothing but a girl lacking in moralvalues.

But to K and T, they knew that nothing they did was actually wrong. K,s femalefriends were also shocked that the K they knew had done such a thing. All along,they had thought that K was a guy with high moral values, and was r6garded assomeone who was Mr Nice Guy. They too, were puzzled why K was blirided byT.

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But no one knew the truth. No one knew that K wasn't blinded by T, K had fallenin love with T. Neither did anyone understand how T felt. No one. T just wantedto be with the one she liked, but now, everyone can only c that she is a guysnatcher.

But no matter what, T and K braved all these rumours about them... and becamecloser....

So about one month went passed, and T was still waiting for K to give her ananswer. But all along the times, she didn't ask for anything. All she did was wait.Then one day, K asked T something.

He asked "Are u sure u dun like being single? Being single has lots of advantagesu know, like not being tied down,going out with anyone u like.. etc etc...Are u sure u didn't want to be single?"

And T's reply touched K. T said " From the day I met you, I don't want to besingle anymore,"

Althought Lhis sentenece was short, it was enough for k to feel everything. Kknew that T really wanted to be with him. And so K told T that he had broken upwith his gf. T was happy but sad. She was happy because she knew that Kwanted to be with her, but she was sad that she had done such thing. She knewthat she was the one who caused them to break up. But Man is selfish. Man oftenonly take care of their own needs first before thinking about other pple. Everyoneout there is selfish. Therefore, T was human too and she was selfish too. But thatis no excuse for her, she had done something "wrong" in many ppl's eyes.

But in K's eyes, T didn't do anything wrong. K only knew it was his fault. He wasthe one that caused X hurt, and not T. So K and T were overcame with guilt. Butafter some time, K decided to go out with T again...

K still remembers that that day was a Wednesday.. It was a day that K will neverforget..

K still remembers that that day was a Wednesday.. It was a day that K will neverforget., That day, K and T both had ECA. K had eca in another school, while T hadher dance going on in school. So K told Tto wait for him to come back to schoolso that they can go for dinner together. The only times that T defied her parentsand went out late was when she is with K.

So she waited in school patiently for K to fetch her, T sat all alone in the schoolfor a long time.. waiting patiently for K to come to fetch her... And finally K came.At that time T saw K, both of them were speechless with words. That was the 4thtime that they met. So K began tosay" where do u want to have dinner?" And treplied " anywhere" K thought in his head... let us go to somewhere different thistime... and so he brought her to a pizza hut in town instead of food court orhawker centre. So they went to this pizza hut, wearing their school uniform.

K and T were both tired, as their ECA were both physical ECA. But even though Kwas tired, he brought T to dinner.. at this certain pizza hut restaurant. Both K andT were small sized pple, but that night, K ordered lots of food... To this day he stillremembered what they ordered.. K ordered a 10 pc chicken drumlets, 2 pepsi,one personal pan, and two lasagne. Both K and T happily tucked in after a longday. They ate happily, and these two finished all the food. When the bill came, Kpaid the total amount and brought T out of the restaurant...

And so it was late again, and T gotta 90 home.. This time.. K and T were in thehappiest mood that they can be. There seemed to be no barriers between themanymore. The previous times when K was out with T, T often thought how wouldX feel. T often feel guilty bout asking K out.

But this time, T didn't feel guilty any longer. T was happy that she is with K, and

nothing else matters. K on the other hand, Was happy with T too. He knew thathe and T was going to be the couple made in heaven.. ( or so he thinks) K waitedfor the bus with T to send her home',

When the bus came, K asked T " how long is the journey"., and T replied " about10 mins" At this time, K knew that he needed to ask T to become his gf' And so

on the bus , K said some words.

To this day, K still can repeat the same old words..".

" I m not rich or anything, and I have sweaty palms, but are u willing to hold

these hands and be with me?"

And T said " I want.. I don't mind. I don't want to be single since I met you'.'"

And so, K took T's hand, and both of them enjoyed the bus ride although it was

only 10 mins.

Both of them were madly in love from that moment on. There were two ways togo to T's house, one is to walk from the mrt, and the other was a bus stop. From

if,e Urt to T's house it took 15mins to walk, and from the bus stop to her house itwas L0 mins.

That day , T and K took bus, and they walked along that stretch of road, whichwas a memorable stretch of road to them. From that day on, they walked thatroad many many countless times.... Ok back to that day. As K took T's hand, bothwere feeling very happy. There was that feeling of love in the air... K walked Thome ... hand in hand.. The feeling was pure sweet love, Although K and T at thattime were still young ( JC 2 ), they were prepared to commit in their relationship.

K walked T to her house.. and stopped before the lift, just like the first time he

sent T home. He stopped outside the lift, and said with feelings " I love u T, Ihope that we will be happy together" T let go of K's hand, and started to saygoodbye to K.,. " im going up now" she said... but K and T were both unwilling topa rt...

So K finally went into the lift and went up with T together,. Inside the lift, In T'sheart, she knew that she needed to give K her first kiss if he asked.

Although T had a bf before, she had never kissed him before, So when K wentinto the lift with her, T had that feeling. But K didn't try to kiss T, he just stoodthere motionless while looking at T. T lived on the 12th floor of the block, and as

they walked out of the lift, T turned around to bade K good bye.

But K Said, " did u forget to give me something?" K was just being mischevous.He wanted to see whether T would kiss him by herself. But T did kiss K.. T had

never kissed anyone before, So she didn't know how to kiss..' and so she triedsome funny stunts.. It was really funny., it had K burst out laughing, K didn'tknow that T hadnt kissed anyone before, so he asked her" was that your first

I r,-

time kissing someone? " and so T replied " yes, sorry if I didn,t do'it well,,

All K's heart was filled with humour.. he kept laughing, as what T did was reallyfunny and K didn't expected it at all...And so K suId, "-it, ok, I m happy that it wasyour first time '." And T and K finally went home after that, smiling to himself likean idiot for the whole 1.5 hrs journey...

And so K and r became lovers. Every single night, K and r would chat happily..the first few months were just like what everyone said , the honeymoon period.But K and T had a very long honeymoon period. Even after 9 months into theirrelationship, they were still having the honeymoon period.

Every little thing that K and T quarrelled about, They wanted to resolve it at thatpoint. There was a time after approximately 3 months that T cried to K, she said ',if there is anything unhappy that happens between us, lets say it out and notkeep it inside us... I really want we 2 to work out.." K liked T a lot too. So he said" lets do that whenever we quarrel, " and so whenever there was a quarrel orwhen T or K was unhappy with one another, they would say it all out and solvethe problem immediately.

K and T had a pact , that they would spent the 3rd of every month together, asthey were together since the 3rd of may 2001, Everytime tne grd .a,riu, nomatter how busy both of them were, they would spend that day together.Everytime the 3rd came, K or T would never forget it is the 3rd of the month.

A few months after K and r were together, T's birthday came. K thought of whatto buy forT, he thought hard and long, He didn,t know what to buy fJr her. thenfinally he realised that he has no ring. There was no ring to signify the union ofHimself and T. so he thought, yes, I must get a ring for both or ,t... And so Kwent to look for a ring. K wasn't a rich guy, so all he could afford was a 60+ setof rings. The rings he bought for T and himself was silver, and it became veryvaluable to them.. Although it only costs 60 dollars, it seemed to be pricelesswhen K and T were wearing it together.

on T's birthday, K planned everything. K wanted to make T happy and make herbirthday a memorable one. So K planned hard. He thought of biinging T to dinnerat a posh restaurant. Let me remind u again that K was a poor guy, hi didn,thave much money. To bring T to a restaurant was out of his teague, T, overthe 2 yrs in JC, had saved up quite a lot of money, she didn,t sp-end a lot , andhad accumulated some money with saving. But K was willing to spend money onT. Every cent spent on T was worth it. so the plan he had wls... first, K and Twould go home to change, and then T would meet him in town. K decided to goto the place where had the most memories to them, suntec.

On that day, T wore a black top and a folded skirt. She was absolutely stunning.She was dressed up in something that K had neverseen before. When K saw T, hefelt that he had dressed too shabbily. But K didn't feel awkward with T, T was stillthe same T except that she was all dressed up. K didn,t have the ring at thattime, as the people at the shop said if he wantecl it to be engraved, he gotta wait2 days so he didn't have any gift for T except for a fermented rose. But T didn,tmind, she was satisfied as long as she could see K and be with him on herbirthday.

So K brought T to a restaurant in Suntec. And they began to had a nice meal. Allthroughout, K couldn't take his eyes off r. It was T's special day, and he hadplanned the whole day. To this day, K remembers how T paid for the meal... shesimply gave the waiter the cash when he sent the bill to K, and asked him to

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leave. K was shocked. He simply didn't expect r to foot the bill. so he asked T,how could I let you pay for the meal? But r replied " its ok, as long as I m happy,I dun mind paying for the meal" It was T's birthday and she didn,t want K to footthe bill, so no matter how K insisted , she refused.. and said that if K was goingto insist, she would get angry.

so K decided not to insist on footing the bill.. K went to buy a birthday cakeinstead, He bought a large cake for the 2 of them to eat... And went to find aromantic spot to eat it... This romantic spot, was very memorable to K, he hadspent many special moments there before.. and that day, K brought the cake,and T to the place.... K and T were small pple remember?

So when they were trying to finish the cake, it was really a funny sight... K alwaysthought of the times when he and T tried to do something and hey always cannotmake it.. it would always bring a smile to his face... like finishing a large cake...The birthday indeed became a memorable experience to K and T..

And so K and T had rings... Both of them made a pact to wear the ring everyday..although it was only a wearing of a ring, it symbolizes the bond btw them. Both Kand T cherished the ring very much... K can still remember once.. when T couldn'tfind her ring after waking up.. She cried when she woke up whenshe realised that she couldn't find the ring... K didn't get angry with r when heheard that she was crying. But although he didnt get angry at all, he reprimandedT on why she was careless.. K had this bad habit of having a harsh mouth... And rbecame even sadder... But eventually they found the ring.. Tjust dropped it somewhere while asleep...

For the few months K and T were together, they didn't face any big problems intheir relationship. K and T believed that with love, nothing is a problem to them.

But K Had high expectations of T, K was always comparing T with X.. He thoughtabout how well X can treat him.. and so he put the high demand on T too.whenever T did something that made K unhappy, he would blunily put it acrossto T. T was a girl who had flaws, just like any normal girl, but whenever K told Tthat he didn't like this or that about her, T would change for K, there was once,when K told T " I find that you are very selfish, u always never think about othersand only think of yourself "

From then on, T tried her best not to be selfish. Whenever she met K , she wouldconsider how K would meet her, she would think of K's every detail n try to bethe most considerate gf that K ever had,.. she would do anything for K.,.

Ok.. And so the A levels approached.. K and T were in a particular Jc in the east,and near K's house was a bubble tea shop, where K and T spent many happymoments there together. As the exam approaches, K and T decided to go to theshop everyday, there were tables and food for K and T to study...

This place was a very memorable place in the story of K and T. Every day spentthere was absolutely happy,. It was studying combined with laughter and food..Eventually the stall owner got to know K and r... As I have said before, K and rlooked really young for their age.. K looked like a sec 3 or 4 boy while T lookedlike a sec 2 girl, even up till now when K is in the army and r is in a certainuniversity, they still look like that.. When T flashed her University matrix card,many bus drivers often stared at it. The shop owner was also shocked that T andK were A level students, including the helpers at the shop.. And so becamefriends with them. The helpers also feel that T and K was quite compatible interms of looks., and so they eventually knew T and K.. That was approximately

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one and a half years ago... And so this bubble tea shop became an importantlandmark in the life of K and T,.Every day spent there was memorable....

K was a immatured guy, he didn't care for his future or whatever, all he wantedwas to just pass the A levels and get into any course. He didn't care for hisresults to be top notch. He was the typical slacker.

But T was different. She studied hard and knows that she needs to. So when theA levels came, T tried to get K lo study with her. Everytime T tried getting K tostudy, K was often late to come and early to go. T didn't give up on K, K had avery weak subject, and that was C maths. By the way K and T was in differentfaculties, K was taking commerce while T was taking science. But both ofthem took C maths. K needed help in C maths, he just cannot do it by himself. Sowhen K went out to study with T, K often bothered T with maths questions. T wasalways patient with K, but as K was seriously weak in maths, he didn't alwaysunderstand. As the exams draw near, T became worried for herself. K alsorealised thatT needed time for her own subjects instead of helping him out..

So K became sad. He kept thinking that why is T so selfish. But T had neverrejected K when he asked for his help, but K didn't realise, K only can c that Twas impatient when dealing with his problems.. K always thought that he was asensitive guy, but he wasn't at all. So one day, K did one thing that hurtT. As theC maths exam drew near, K knew that he shouldn't bother T with his mathsproblems anymore. Although T was hardworking, she wasn't the mosthardworking girl or anything like that, she was just a normal student.

So K decided that for T to concentrate on her own work, he decided toseek the help of a girl who was great in maths, and also K's first love. Well for thebackground, K had 3 gfs in his life up to now, and T was the 3rd. So Kapproached his 1st gf for help, and his first gf, being strong in maths and being avery helpful girl, decided to help K out...

And so K went to look for his first gf near her house... But K made a seriousmistake,. although he didn't really meant to kept it from T that he was going tohis ex gf house, he didn't tell T before he went...

After that, when T asked where was K, K replied.. " I m at some place near my1st gf's house, studying maths," T was very hurt.. She kept thinking that K hadcheated her... She was really jealous.. But K was a man who feels that he is theMAN in the relationship... Although he had no ego, he felt that T had noreason to be jealous... and so he said to T, " you cant help me in maths, I have nochoice but to come find her... and please don't be jealous and doubt me I m doingnothing but studying.."

T was hurt.. T was angry and sad.. She kept probing why K kept it from her inthe first place, and kept dwelling on the subject... K had a bad habit.. Wheneverhe thinks its not his fault and he thinks he has been accused, he would get angrytoo.. and So k got angry with T.. he said" Hey I didn't meant to kept it from u, if Imeant to, I wouldn't have told u when u asked me.. besides, u really cannot helpme in maths what."

This really hurts T... while she was angry, K always got angry and in the end itwas T who always apologize. K treats all his Gfs this way, whenever they wereangry with him, he didn't feel like he was at fault. He always expects them toapologize to him. He was immature.. he was not a great guy despite his goodpoi nts...

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Ok.." That was a certain time when K and T quarreled... it left T crying.' T oftencried when she was with K.. Being in love with K hurts a lot..' But K didn't knowthat T often cried alone at night.. K didn't know anything as T didn't say.' At thestart of their relationship, K and T made a pact remember? They promised tothrash out every single problem that they have before it gets worse.. But therewas once when T said out the problem, and expected K to change.'. Then twice'.then 3 times..

After some time,. T got really tired.. K didn't change'. K was still the old K,. and

so she gave up asking K to change. But K didn't realise that he had so manyflaws and T always accepted them. T had flaws too, but whenever K brought it up

to T, T would change for K.

Guys have a bad habit... Although many of us have heard it before, I think notmany have really experienced it... the phrase is " Man often doesn't cherish what

they have until they have lost it." And so K was such a person' K didn't change

abit at all...

But the relationship of K and T were still strong.., Both of them really loved each

other. Although K was harsh with words, inside his heart, T was the only one thathe could do something for. When T needed help, K never once rejected her. When

T had a problem, K would always try to solve it for her.K loved T very much, but he didn't change away his bad habits for her. But love

changes a person.. Before K met T, he was the most bad tempered freak in theworld, He often shouted at pple, and always made ppl angry, Every small littlething that K came across, K would flare up if he was unhappy'K was a very bad temPered guY.

But when T came into his life, T nurtured K with her love. With her love, Kbecame not so bad tempered. K began to cultivate his temper and curb it.. K

began to approach each situation with sense and calmness, And so K became a

better person...

And the A levels went passed. Straight after the A levels, K and T begin to go outeach week,. as many times as they wanted., they were into the happiest time oftheir lives,.. But happy times are often short lived.

K's birthday was in december, and T, one day, told K that she had to go back to acertain country. T's maternal family was from this country, and so she had to go

back to visit.,. and wheneverT went back to visit, it would take about a month.. K

was shattered.. K really loved T and T really loved K, and T didn't want to 9o, butshe had no choice., So when T told K, K became very sad.. K didn't know whetherhe would miss T like crazY.

At that moment, it was about B months into the relationship, but they were stillhaving their honeymoon period. On that day before T went to indonesia, K said

something that made him and T cry... K began..

" when I c pple hand in hand during the time when u were in indonesia, I willthink of you..

When I c couples laughing happily.. I will think of you..

When I c couples sitting together in the mrt, and I turn to my side, there would

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only be a blank seat..

I can only imagine u there being with me,,its really sad,"

When I c couples watching movies together, I also would want to watch a moviewith u, but as I turn around to comment about the movie, I would c no one but ablank seat,.

When I want to put my arms around u, I would happily stretch my arm.. andrealise that all I m hugging was thin air..

When at night I feel like calling you, I would dial ur number, xxxxxxx, and ring..and there will not be anyone to pick up the phone..

I will think of you when I take out our photos to c, I will think of you when I c thegifts u have given me before.. I will think of you every night and every second,because I love yolt.."

And so K was in tears, and T was touched.. T didn't know K would cry for her, butshe saw that.. Although at this point of time everyone may think that K is beingcrappy, Let me tell u all that K really meant it in his heart.. And so, T finally left...throughout the first few days, everyday was unbearable for K and T.. K wanted somuch to talk to T, and T missed K so much. K was sad everyday, everything hedid seemed to have no meaning. He went out with friends, played computergames, played pool, watched movies, went bowling.. but everything he did, hedid it just because of doing it. He didn't do it because he felt like doing it, He justhad nothing else to do. All he could do all day was think of T.

T said that when she had found her family there, she would call him, and shewould only call him at 10 pm as there wuold be a timing difference btw thatcountry and singapore, and so she fixed a time with K.

So everyday, K would go bowling, play pool, play computer games, go out,movie, eat, shop.. he would do everything... but whenever the time reaches 9, kwould rush home like cinderella who was going to turn into a maid, K rushedhome everyday to wait patiently for T's call. As I write this story, I cant helpbut have tears coming into my eyes.

K rushed home everyday, hoping that T would call soon... there were many timeswhen K's family members were using the phone.,. and he quarrelled with hissister many times and begged his parents to keep the line free from 10 to 11,hoping that T would call. For the first few days, K waited, he waited every singledaY...

When 10 O clock came, he was filled with hope,. Every single min passed, and K

felt sadder each minute... For the first day, K waited patiently by the phone... Eachmin brought feelings to him,. he was hoping, waiting, thinking, missing his love,T. Pple might think K was stupid to sit by the phone for t hr everyday and doingnothing else, but that was what he did. So each and every minute passed and Tdidn't call K for the first day. K at 10 O clock and K at 11 O clock was entirelydifferent. K at 10 O clock was someone filled with hope, but K at 11 Oclock was a sad, dejected, disappointed man. Although it was only a call, it meanteverything to him at that time,

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Everyone knows that K was bad tempered, easily angered, had male chauvinism,and never admits he is in the wrong when he is... but K had some good qualities,and one of it was he was an emotional, sentimental guy. He was kind hearted andthoughtful at many times, He would think of olhers first before himself, and had agood sense of humour. All these qualities that K had, the bestone was sentimental. K never fails to take out their chat log to read once in awhile., and K never failed to take out the pictures he took with T to see. So Kwaited each passing day.. and each passing day he became sadder... He keptthinking.. why hadnt T called him?

Finally, one of these nights, K was once again sitting by the phone by 9.55 am...he shut out everyl when they wanted to use the phone... he was selfish... he mustmake the line free for T to call,, Any call looking for his sister he would tell themto call back at 11... and so.. that night.. K waited., earnestly,. everyday passed hebecame disapointed, but when the next day came, he became filled with hopeagain, So he waited, and waited., K could still remember the time which T called..it was exactly 10.25 pm, He waited for 25 mins, and when the phone rang, heknew that it was T., he just had that feeling...

To hear T's voice after so long was like heaven to him, He was overwhelmed withjoy,. the first thing he asked T was..

" do u know I was waiting for u every night to call me? why did u take so long?"

But K didn't blame T, as long as T called, it didn't matter if K needed to wait formany days...so K and r began to talk... it was very mushy.... Haha.. Although theywere in different places, K could feel T beside him.. K could feel the warmth of T...But the call was short lived... every call that r made cost about 10-15 singdollars,and it was only for a short 10 to 20 mins.. But r spent all the money shehad to call K. T didn't mind spending at all, she knows that every min spenttalking to K was worth it. One Night, T told K, that she has no more money to callK anymore, and that would be the last time..

K didn't want that to happen.. so he told T to use her family's phone to makelong distance call instead of going to public payphones. So T decided that wouldbe good,. And so T used her family's phone to call K, and they ended up talking alot. T's family over there was rich, so they wouldn't mind. K asked T,then would u come back to spend christmas with me? And r replied, I will trymybest to go back before christmas...

Although K missed r every single day, and didn't feel like doing anything elseexcept waiting for K at night, T felt the same too. over at that country, T madethose bands for K. she made a single one every time she thought of K. shemissed K dearly too. Although they were young, they had made plans to betogether for a long time. Each band she made was with all her heart and soul,she put her mindinto it and with every band she made, K was the one who made her go on makingand making. Before T left, K asked T to do some handicrafts for him if she missedhim, and T didn't respond, but while she was over there making these bands, shedidn't let K know as well. She meant for it to be a surprisewhen she comes back to Singapore,

so K and T had a difficult one month... Every day that passed made the heartgrow fonder.. so when Tcame back, K was delighted.. he was filled withhappiness,..He told himself that he would never let T go away for such a long timeanymore. He knows that r would be the person that is going to be in his lifeforvever. T missed K too., when she came back, the first person that she called

r-

was K. The first person that she wanted to meet was K... Love is a funny thing..Love makes two pple do things that they have never done before in their life... Klearnt this the hard way....

So when T came back, the bond btw K and T became stronger. Then came a timewhen T had a chalet.. It was her family's chalet.. the chalet lasted 3 days 2nights, but T's family was only going to go to the chalet on the 2nd day. And so,T wanted K to go to the chalet with her, her 2 brothers, and her brother's wife,and her little cousin, Her little cousin was a very cute girl, around 9 years old. Kwanted to go to the chalet with T too. The chalet was in sentosa, and K went allby himself to the chalet..

The time spent at the chalet was the most memorable time in the story of K andT.... It was like this...,K and T hadnt spent any time over night before. As T was aprotected girl, the only time she can spend her time at night outside was whenshe was either with her parents or a gathering with a teacher, So when K canmake it for this chalet, T was delighted.. she could spend a night with K, and herparents wouldn't know. T planned for K to come and discussed how to not let herparents know with her two brothers... And so.. K came to the chalet...That night, there was a bbq. Everyone tried to eat whatever they cooked, butthey couldn't make it,. the fire was too weak, In the end, they threw everythinginto the oven and started to cook.. It was a funny sight.

T and K were at the chalet like a married couple, they dld everything together,like washing plates, cleaning ovens, and cooking. They helped each other, andshared whatever food they have... burnt or uncooked. Haha. It was heartwarmingto c T and K so happy that day, The day passed so fast that in a flash.. it wasnight....

T's brother had arranged for K and T and her little cousin to sleep in the masterbed room, with K on a single bed and T and her cousin on the master bed. Theyput the little cousin in the room to prevent T and K lrom doing anything funny.. Tand K both knew it, but T and K just wanted to spend a night together. As thenight became later, T and K couldn't get to sleep. K turned to look at T, and Tturned to look at K, separated by the floor between the two beds. For manyminutes , they kept staring at each other, K wanted to hug T and pull her underthe covers, but he couldn't, T wanted to go over to K's bed and lie together withhim, but there was the little cousin that was still awake and they didn'twant her to know anything, when T and K climbed into bed, it was 12 o clock.And for the time from 12 O clock till 2 O clock, although both were already verytired, They didn't get to sleep,. they were waiting forT's little cousin to sleepfirst. They long to sleep together,

Every minute passed, and the longing became higher, Finally, there was no moresound from T's cousin., the time was about 2 am... T started to climb out of bed..and went to lock the door.....

And that night was a night that they would never forget. They spent someintimate moments together... After T locked the door... she climbed over to K'sbed and .......,

And after some time they begin to sleep... the time was about 3 am... For onehour, T and K slept...., while sleeping.. suddenly,, T heard someone calling her.. "sis, sis,., sleep with me please.,." and there was T's little cousin .... K and T bothwoke up... they realised that they had slept in each others arms. T , with sadnessin her eyes, climbed out of bed and went to the other bed to sleep... from thatmoment.. K and T began to look at each other again... they looked and they

r

looked, and once again they were separated by that floor... They didn't know howlong they looked into each other's eyes.. but they eventually dozed off...,

But life was never ever going to be the same for K and T... K was male, and allmales got to go to NS. T was a JC student, and she gotta go to untversity. WhenK realised it, he began to lose all his confidence... but still, he didn't show it, He

believed that their love could stand the test of time. Although he know that Twould wait for him, he often accused T of not going to wait for him...

K had this bad habit of saying what is untrue.. He kept saying that when heenlist, T would go to university and run off with another guy.. he is insecure...Many pple told K that the real test happens between couples when the guy is offto NS and the girl is off to university,, which made K scared... The more K gotscared, the more he said it.., he kept saying.. that T would leave him... T didn'tknow what to say.. T loved K.. and she hoped for K to trust her... but K oftenmade it seem like he doesn't trust T..

It is really very bad. Throughout the whole time that K and T were together, K

had never ever doubted T before,, but also throughout the whole time that theywere together, K made it seem like he had never trusted T before... Don't ask mewhy K is like that, I guess this is his insecure trait...

So when that daywhen K went for his medical review, T prayed hard for K to bePes E or some pes which he didn't have to stay in, so that she could meet him atnight...

And so K went for his review,. and he wanted to scare T as usual.. K loved totease T.. he liked to test T too.,, sometimes he do things just to test T... and thistime.. he called T,. and he said," Oh no, they give me Pes A.. I die already.. andhe began to sound sad.. he said.. I m going to lose u T..I cant meet u at night orwhatever ... and u will leave me.., and he said... sorry... I m very sad now... i reallydon't know what to do... take care T..." and T began to become very sad... she said" don't worry K, even though u are pes A , I will not leave you.., I will still wait foru ... t'

K was touched, and he said.. haha,.i am not Pes A,. I am temporary pes E... for 1

year... that time was january.. And T was delighted... I didn't know that girls canbe so happy when their bf is Pes E. It puzzled me.. I always thought that Pes A ismacho, strong, and is the type that girls would look for... but I was wrong... T wasvery happy that K was Pes E... she kept saying " happie! Happie!....." it wasindeed a touching moment...

So K and T both found a job... a temporary job .. Before he enlists and before Twent to university,.

Then valentine's day 2001 came,. and K took leave and T took leave to spend theday together.... K can still remember what happened the whole day... it is foreverimplanted into his memory..,K bought a black dress for T as a valentine's daygift.. and to this day he has only seen T wear it twice... But anyway... they spentthat day together.... T wrote a card to T... with the envelope adressed to .." To theone and only one that deserves to see this, K" and wrote about her feelingstogether with K.. although she had been sad a few times in the relationship,generally she was happy with K... the lines that K would always remember "Everytime i quarrel with u I feel very sad, I wish that we will never quarrel.""I will try to be the best gf that u ever had" K kept it in his mind forever... till thisday....i

I

I

I

I

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K was not a man of words... he had never wrote letters or anything to T. Everygift that he gave T, was bought. He didn't gave her anything that is written withfeelings before....

And so the day came for K to be enlisted, K was a pes E guy remember? So hewould only go to P tekong for one week... But one week without T was bad.'although K and T had endured a month without seeing each other, K didn't wantto go through the pain again.. but he had no choice. And so he brought hp andcharger to camp. Every night that K was there, he thought about T.. it was justlike the time when T left Singapore. Every night, K couldn't sleep. K saw all hisbunk mates sleeping, but he was still talking on the phone with T secretly underthe blankets. After putting down the phone, K would think of T till it was reallylate at night.. like 3 am... although they had to wake up at 5.15 am, K oftenwaited till 3 am before sending a final message to T... T missed K when he wasthere too... Every single message that she received seemed to be moremeaningful that any other message that K had ever sent to her.

One of this was,. " everyone is asleep right now.. while I am still in my bedthinking of you... I think I have found my wife already..." and that was 3 am in themorning...At that time, K realised how impt. T was to him... he realised that he

couldn't do without T...

And so the day came for K to come out of P tekong, Pes E personel, very happy,1 week and he is out. And the day he came out, T was waiting at P Ris for K..., Tmissed K as badly as K missed T. That day, K parents were overseas, and so Kbrought T to his house... K was really tired.. so all he did was sleep at home.. ButT didn't mind at all, T slept with K as though she had a duty to do so... Both ofthem spent the whole day together at K's place, and K asked T, would u stayton ig ht?

But T , once again let me remind u that T was a very protected girl, she could notstay overnight just like that.. K pleaded with T, hoping that she would try to cookup an excuse for staying out.. But eventually T couldn't think of any excuse lastminute... and she had to leave...So K became sad... he kept thinking.. if she canteven cook up an excuse to be with him even when this is a golden opportunity,then how was T going to make time for him in future?

And so K, although he wanted so badly for T to stay, had to let her go homeinstead....,

But fate wasn't kind to K. Fate posted K to a place where everyone had evil intheir hearts. Every single person in that place were bad. K felt very unhappythere,.. it made him stressed up, and his health problems came back again. Onceagain he couldn't eat well... and he felt terrible every single day of his life there.

But the worse thing that happened to K, was that he became bad tempered. Hewasback to the old K.. T had no more powerto nurture him., as she no longer spendsthat much time with K...,. one night.. k told T" how I missed the times when wejust finished our A levels ... Everyday was so carefree..." K doesn't know whethernow T remembered that sentence.... But it Was a Very meaningful sentence,Those were the times when K and T were the happiest...Everyday was happy,there was noworries, no problems... all they can be was to enjoy life... but now.. K had to haveresponsibilities.. no mistake can be done at work or he would face disciplinaryactions.. K felt sad... K needed to breathe...

t\

l_

and as each day passed.. K changed.. K became a "bochup" which meanseverything that comes to K he didnt care.., His character changed as well.. hebecame bad tempered, that was the main change, but the worse change was thathe begun to treat T bad temperedly as well.. ( I m not sure whether thereis the word badtemperedly") haha.. Yah, and he treated T bad temperedly. Manytimes he quarrelled with T, and caused T to feel hurt and sad, and Everyday T feltsad that K treated her that way...

'iTdidn't understand what K was going thru, the fact that he was stuck in NS for2,5 yrs, K wasn't mentally prepared,, he wasn't mature enough to.. But Tendured it,. T didn't say anything about her crying alone at night... T didn't put itacross to K that she felt really really hurt... No one told K about it too.. K himselfdidn't know that he changed to become so hack care of T and bad tempered..itwas really scary., he didn't know that he himself have changed....

K enlisted in apr 2007, and there was a certain lC dance event that was in Mayevery year It was memorable to K and T as in the year 2000, K and T went tothat event together... That was when they had their first dance,.

K and T didn't go to nightspots,, so the only chance they could dance was whenthere was such events. K could still remember how he hugged T when he dancedwith her... the feeling was just great.. T was K's everything at that time,. Healmost cried out tears of joy that night... but he didn't tell T, as it was dark. T wasfrom dance, aRd so she decided to go back to school in the year 2001,..

K decided to take leave for that day, and so K and T prepared to go back toschool together, Before that day, K kept thinking and reminiscrng about the sametime last year when he had T in his arms and dancing with emotions... He keptthinking that he had to dance with T that night,,. T was from dance, so naturally Kasked T to get 3 tickets, one for him, and 2 for his 2 friends, the 2 whomaccompanied him to watch T dance before qt Suntec. K wanted so badly to haveanother dance with T.

Although K had become more bad tempered, the love he had forT was still strongand burning within. So when T and K went back to school.. K had manymemories,. He remembered all the times when he had spent in school with T..But he didn't know that T was very unhappy..T cried every night.. but K didn'tknow.. T suffered many things.. but she didn't let K know.,.

I have said many things about K bad habits.. but T also had a bad habit... shedidn't want K to know her sadness, and her hurt.. Never did she told K that shehad been crying every night since K became bad tempered and was stern to T. SoKdidn't know why T was acting strangely the whole day, K was insensitive, and tomake matters worse, T often suffered in silence. K took leave that day, the firsttime he took leave.. and it was only a month into his service. So he hope tat hisleave didn't go wasted... For the whole day he thought of dancingwith T... but in T's head.. she had other thoughts... she decided that she couldn'ttake K's bad temper anymore.. she wanted to break up with K..

And so T brought K and his 2 friends to the event.., but ALAs... they didn't havetickets for 3 pple, they only had tickets for 2. T didn't need a ticket as she was asenior in the school, and so K and his 2 friends were stranded. They didn't knowwhat to do. And to make matters worse, K brought another couple there as well,so in the end, 5 pple had to go in with 2 tickets, but that is not possible... Afterwaiting for a long time.. K's friends, the couple, left. They decided to leave afterwaiting for some time..

T, on the other hand.. didn't care about K... all she did. Was talk to her friendswhom she havent met for a long time,. while k and c3ompany was thinking ofhow to go in, T was there, talking to her friends and didn't bother about K,.. K,was unhappy, but he didn't say anything to T. He thought of how to get in...Suddenly, T came up.. and gave the two tickets to K's friertd while K was talkinon the phone with another friend... T told them , here are two tickets, good luck..and she went in herself... K, after putting down the phone, asked his friends,where was T??? They said T went in already.

K was very sad at this time... He thought in his head,. why did T do this? T shouldat least wait for K and his friends to be able to get in before getting in herself. Hefelt that T was acting funny...and being very selfish... K felt as though his hearthad fallen a few feet.,. He was feeling down,

K thought and thought... He didn't know how to get in... eventually.. heapproached a dance member.... He talked and talked... and finally persuaded thedance member to help... this dance member got her teacher to let K in., So K gotin himself... As he went in, he searched everywhere forT.. he needed to talk toT... he wanted her to know that it wasn't right to just dump him outside.. if notfor K's luck, hewould never have gotten in. So he searched, and he searched, but it was pitchblack in side. K decided to msg T... " where are u now?" T replied where she was..and K went to look for her...

T totally felt different that day... she wasn't the same old T... She was cold to K,..

K asked T to go sit with him... but T refused.. she said she wanted to sit whereher friends were... This puzzled K even more... T always followed K wherever hesits.... And so K asked again... But still T refused ... T wanted to sit with herfriends..... K was sad.. and hurt. He kept thinking why did T react so ddifferentlythat night...

But K decided to keep that aside for the time being... do u remember that the realmotive K went to the dance event? It was to have another dance with T....Littledid he know that he was in for a shock... And so the night began to get late... Itwas time for the dance to start after the competition is over....

Suddenly, K received a message.." I feel sick, I want to go home now" and thatmsg was from T., K was sad... all his hopes were dashed... So he replied " can wehave a dance first before going?" ButT replied, " no, I really want to go now.."And so K, sadly, accompanied T out.... K told his friends, "please waitfor me, I will come back." And T and K begin to sit at a place in school whilewaiting...

To this day.. K still remembered everything thatT said... K asked T." why do u

want to leave so early? U didn't want to dance with me?" And T replied , " I reallyfelt sick., I just want to go home/,.." and K replied. " why? U are not sick... isthere any problem?" and T replied " I don't know.." K then told T.." Do u knowhow Sad I feel when u went in by yourself and left me outside?" T replied.. " Ireally don't know.. I don't know what I was thinking..." T seemed to have brokendown... she felt so uneasy when talking...

K decided to give T a break, so he said.. ok.. rest well when u get home... andthen he gave the cab driver 20 bucks and put T into the cab... Then K went backto his friends,, Both of them were a little angry at K as they waited a long timefor him to go home...Just as they were walking home, K received a message... Tothis day.. K can still remember the exact words that T said..

" Lets break up, I did not like anybody else "

These are words that changed K and T's story forever. K was shocked and sad...he recalled how T looked when she left,. he recalled how strangely she has beenacting that day... He needed to talk to T.

so he rushed home.. and began to call r... He tried many many times..., Manymany many many times... but T wouldn't pick up the phone... But K didn,t giveup,, He knows that T and him were meant to be together... He needed to find outthe problem between them.

As I have said before, K didn't know that r cried and was sad every night... Hedidn't know that his bad temper and his foul mouth had made T very sad everysingle day.. He was a very insensitive guy... so when T told K she wanted tobreak up with him, K couldn't believe what he heard... He persisted.. he called..and he called..., Finally.. T picked up Lhe phone,..

K and T had a heart to heart talk.. K asked T a very simple question... " do u loveme" and T said "yes,, I do... " And so K began to find out what is the problembetween them... And as he asked, he realised that he had treated T badtemperedly... Then he told T, I know I have been bad tempered since ienlisted.,please try to be understanding...

But r said" I know that... do u know that I have been crying every night? Did uknow how sad I felt when u were mean to me?" T couldn't take it when K wasmean to her.... And so K made a promise to T.. he said that he will try his bestnot to be bad tempered or scold T harshly.... Eventually, K and T didn't break up...

T didn't sleep the whole night... she knew that she loved K , and when the nextmorning came, K, on his way to work, received a call from t.. who was in tears....Saying, " I don't want to break up with u anymore.. I love you..,, K,s heart wasfilled with love again...He had so much feelings... he had so much to say to T.. buthe didn't say anything.. all he said was.." don't say break up anymore ok T? Ilove u., I don't wish to break up with you..." K said " we are meant to be together,please don't give up so easily..."

But... once the break up word is said.. nothing is ever going to be the sameanyrrlore... K tried his best not to be mean to T or fierce, but he couldn't do it. Attimes when T made him unhappy he became fierce,. which hurts T again andagain... And sometimes when T made him unhappy... he would say break up... Hewanted to let r know how hurtful it was when the word is said... He wanted Tnever to say the words again, and that was why he said it.... K was a guy thatdidn't think like normal guys do. K thought that if he said break up to T, T wouldknow what it feels, and will not say it again... but he over did it...

whenever they had a quarrel... K would say break up... sometimes he said itharshly, sometimes he said it jokingly... But T never treated it as a joke... when Ksaid it, T always took it to heart...Every time K said break up, T's heart wasscarred once... It was that painful... but K didn't realise it until now... The onlysentence that fits the bill is .. The course of true love never did run smooth...

K continued serving his Ns... and T was preparing to go to university.. During thetimes when T hadnt enter university, they were still very much in love., Everytime, K would meet T., and they were still as good as ever., They were adynamic couple... complemented each other well,. it was just like they weretwo halves.. K was a clerk, remember? so K had the luxury of booking out

P-

everyday,

But K didn't want to waste his army life. K thought to himself... If I come out ofarmy 2.5 years later... T would still be in university..Oh yah, forgot to sayanything about K's A level results,. K passed all his subjects.. but his grades formaths were too poor for him to b e considered for university.. he got an E.. So hethought to himself,. that during this time.. he has got to take a certain degreecourse... so that.. when he got out of army, he could start to support T...

Everything he did.. he considered T as his first priority... He and T planned veryvery far ahead.., but little did they know that it was not to be... K still rememberdone night., when he asked T.. when do u want to get married?? And T said...when you want to marry me... and K would always say " right now" and then Twould blush and say not now she is still studying... And so K planned to be able tosupport T the moment he came out of Ns., so that they will live a happy lifetogether...

But all these that K thought of, T didn't really wanted that... She didn't wanted K

to do it for her... she wanted K to do it for himself... Doing all these things didn'tmeant anything to K if there was no more T... T was 1/z the reason remember? Twas K's motivating factor.,. but T didn't know it... She didn't know that if K didn'thave her... HE would be a diff person totally,. lust like how T changed... T hadbecome a better person because of K,. Love changes a person for the better..,

But K... K was a sad case.,. it was all because of his mentality.. that he and Twould be together forever.. that made him neglect T... All inside his mind was.. "T and me are made for each other.. and we will never break up.." that is why Kthinks... all his life he had never met someone like T whom he is head over heelsin love with.. it's the same situation with T.... she has never gone so crazy over aguy before.. ( the words of her best friend ) T never ever thought that she willbreak up with K... she also thought that K would be with her forever and getmarried... But they had different views..

While K knew that T would be with her forever, he didn't treasure her.. he didn'tfeel for her,, think for her.. be considerate forT...take care of T... show concernforT..., he didn't try to understand whatT was going through in her life... themore he thinks they are made for one another, the more he didn't treat her aswell as he should.. But T was different... The reason why T always change andsacrificed for K is because she knows that she loves him and wanted to be withhim and get married,.. so she didnt mind putting everything into therelationship,. ButT was going to university., and everything would change soon...

But although K didn't treat T well.. in his heart.. no one can ever replace T... Twas like the person meant for him. He knows that.... But he didn't think that Tneeds concern and care just like any other woman... Maybe he knows that Tneeded them,. but he was too "bochup" to do it., he cared for T and wasconcerned only at times he feel like it... he didn't give whole heartedly... All heknows is that he ls unhappy everyday...

K was not mentally prepared to serve his country... So everyday he thought thisIs the time for T to show that she really can wait for K... so instead of treating herwell,, he expected T to treat him better....

This is one thing.. that not many guys know.,. not many guys can understandwhat is their gf going through when their love is in national service.. Not many,But on the girl's side.. neither could they ever understand what it means to beforced to do somethin that u don't like to do... so neither could understand each

other...

No girl can ever know what the guy go through.,. but there is no excuse... becausethe guy didn't know what females go through too... they only know that they arethe ones suffering...they couldn't see that even though the girl is at least studyingand all that, they have stress and school problems to cope with too...

But although all these problems surfaced.... It wasn't enough to rock theirrelationship... T was still putting wholeheartedly into the relationship... There wasonce... which K made T cry again... K was pes E remember? So he had the luxuryof able to take lessons at night...

Once,. T's family went abroad... So K hoped to spend another night with T... whenI say that K wanted to spend a night with T.,. I don't mean that K wanted to havesex with t... K only wanted to re- live the happy memories of the times at thechalet... K wanted to re feel the happiness of intimacy with the one he loved... ButT couldn't. K cannot understand why T could 9o to her friends place to spend a

night or go to some chalet with her friends... and he couldn't understand why Tcouldn't do it for him.., He always thought that if T really wanted to spend a nightwith him.. she could always lie... K always expects his gf to lie to tlleir parents forhim... But T couldn't do it., she was afraid of getting found out... the consequenceswould be serious,.

K didn't think about all these... K only knew that T was being unfair to him... He

thought that T treated her best friend better,.. K just couldn't see it at that time...what made it worse.. he didn't believe thatT wanted to spend a night with him..He thought that T didn't want to... why did he think that? It was all because Talways tell him she cant, he took it that she didn't want. So this time.. when T'sfamily went abroad... K hoped for T to just spend one night with him... Although Tparents were away.., her brothers were still around, and they were responsible forher...

As each day passed., K began to get unhappy again... during that time, oneincident happened.. which hurt T even more... left another scar in her heart.... T,after returning home from school,., was tired and needed to rest... but shethought... abuot cooking a meal for K and bringing it to him before his eveningclass,. this was the sweetest thing someone in her 1Bs would do... but before Tdid it... she was tired and went to sleep first...

K lesson start at 6.45.. and so he didn't want T to be late... And he told T.. if ureally wanted to cook for me.. please do not be late or I wont have time to eatthe dinner u cooked.., T didn't know that K's lesson started at 6.45.. she thoughtthat his lesson started at7... but she rushed and rushed... she woke up a littlelate... and K started to feel that she had the mind to do it.. but not the heart asshe was late... K, who had been unhappy because of T not agreeing to spend 1

night with him... had that in his mind all along... so when T was late... he wasn'thappy at all... T reached there at 6.45, and the only thing that K said when Treached was... " why are u so late? I have no more time to eat it already..."

If the dinner was bought... That would have meant nothing to T.. but the dinnershe made for K was with her heart and love,.. she wanted to do it just for K... DidI tell u before that T didn't know how to cook before she met K? But when sheknew K, she learned how to cook a few dishes from her mum just tocoo k fo r K.... ,

But at that moment.,. K knew that T had put in effort to cook for him,.. but hismind got the better of him.. and instead of saying sweet words to T,. he said

hurtful ones... he said.. if u really wanted me to have dinner before lessons.. uwouldn't have been late.... Do u all know why T made dinner for K? it wasbecause... K always told t that he hoped for her to cook for him... he also told Tthateverytime he had evening lessons,. he skipped dinner... Although T couldn,t cookeveryday... she hoped to at least do it once for him...

But K was unhappy with T... so even though he knew that T did it all for him... hedidn't let her know.. he didn't made T feel appreciated... he made T felt hurt whenhe said why was u so late... Maybe from that day on.. T stopped doing so muchanymore... but K didn't know..,

T burst into tears when K said those words... she said... " do u know I felt when Iwas late? I didn't want to be late.,. I din want to spend money taking a cab.. so Iwaited for the bus instead,.. I put in effort to bring all these to you.. but u don'tappreciate it... " and she started to cry... when T cried.. K felt like cryingtoo., K said " I m sorry.., because if u were late it serves no purpose.. I have notime to eat it.." In his heart..

K felt really happy that r would do such a thing... but he didn't say it out... why doI say that K felt really happy? It was because later during the lesson... he keptthinking what a sweet gf he have... he was really really happy. He put his food onthe table.. and didn't have time to eat it as he said... but all throughuot thelesson., he kept lookin at it..,. He even told his frieno that it was his gf thatcooked for him.. I guess T was really heartbroken when K was unhappy for herbeing late.. and went home ... with another scar in her heart... When K got home..hetold T that he is eating her dinner now,. and told her that he appreciates it ...but I guess T was already hurt again earlier on... it was another case of being toolate...

To this day.. K read about an email that his friend sent him... his friend sent himan email that goes like this....

" there was once a girl who was very bad tempered.., and her mother was veryunhappy about it.,, So she told her..every time u wanted to vent your anger... goto the fence behind our house and knock a nail into it.,, and so the girl knockedmany many nails into the gate...., but one day.. the girl changed... and thistime.. her mother told her... now when u curb your anger once and didn't showyour temper.. u can pull out a nail from the gate... and so... after some time.. thegirl managed to pull our all the 37 nails from the gate,.., " and so the moral ofthe story is.., no matter how u remove all the nails,,. the holes will still bethere... old wounds doesn't heal that easily.,

so when K read this mail now,.. he realised that r had many many holes in herheart,. and those were all that he knocked in her... so K told T..." although Iknow I have knocked many nails in your heart..I will try my best to be Jnewpiece of wood.,. that would sacrifice my own wood to patch up those holes I havecreated, ... "

And so., that was when T had just went to school... her school term just startedand K had hurt her again... K felt really bad to have made her cry.., but hethought that it wbs over, their love could withstand anything,.. But it was not tobe so.. no woman wants to feel hurt all the time when they are with their lovedone..,K had a present that was from T.. it was a very meaningful present... whenT gave this present to K... she told K... I hope that when u sleep on this, u willthink about us... we can sleep on this pillow together.. And it was a pillow.. Ktreasured this pillow very much.. although he didn't treat r well.". he really

cherished the pillow and the pillow cover,.. whenever his mum wanted to useanother pillow cover.. K would insist that he use T's pillow cover.., That night... Thad came to K's house,. and so she left her scent on K's bed and pillow... K toldT.." I can smell your scent all over my bed.., so I m not going to do anything butlie on my bed.. " T replied, " I like your smell too.." it was very romantic.,.

But one thing... K and T always talked in that baby talk.. using terms like " hehe..or u act cutie... , or little K and T,,. terms like that.., it was their special way ofcommunicating.." there was one sms that K remembered very clearly.., it goeslike this., " thinking of our little K's and T's now... must be very cute... etc etc..."(the back part was irrelevant, it is not because K forgot ) T was thinking abouttheir future family.,. the little K's and T's was refering to their kids..,. As K and Tlooked much younger for their age.,.they had some cute look.. ( I suppose sofrom what friends say ).. so that is why., T said that their kids would be verycute",.

This story goes on... with something even worse that happened... K, was a guywho was very much into games .. he liked counterstrike.,. diablo 2.... Cm3...whatever game u name it, K liked them very much,...

K's infatuation with games was serious. He could spend hours on thecomputer....But as his house Pc was an old one, it couldn't really play the newergames.,.. There are some guys that are game fanatics... even when they reach20+ years old.. they can still be hooked on it... Its really quite sad to know that..but this is a cruel reality. Guys are in fact really more immature than girls. i mnot saying that playing games is immature.. just don't over do rt.

But K was an idiot... K spent more time with games than with T... the bad thingthat happened.. was that K bought a new computer.... K spend all his money inhis bank account just to buy a new computer,.. At that time he bought thecomputer... he was delighted.... He installed every game that he could find....Take a look at his desktop and u realise that it is just like a typical computer in alan gaming shop. The worse part was., he bought the original diablo 2 game.,.and became hooked on it,. he played the moment he reached home everyday..skipped lessons.. and ignored T many times while on it.... He was a freak... agame freak..., There were a few times when he asked his friends.. Am I a gamefreak? Many times.. they tell him yes... but they didn't tell him that it waswrong... .., once.. K asked someone.." do u think I spend too much time playinggames?" K's friend told him.. " at least u are not a flirt, its better to spend extratime playing games than trying to pick up other girls" so K thought to himself...hmm,. that's quite true... I m very faithful to T.,. because other girls just dininterest him, he was more interested in computer games. Everyone might thinkthat it is uncommon.,. but let me tell u.. open your eyes and look,. there aremany guys that are like that....

when K bought a new computer... T was afraid.. she was afraid that K wouldneglect her.,,. one day.,, she asked K a question.. " is games more important orme?" that was the time when K spent almost every hour he had playing games...whenever T called him and asked him what was he doing.. K would always say..." playing games " T asked... " can u tell me whether games is more impt or me"K... inside his head.... Knew that he liked games a lot... but T and games weredifferent,., T was human, while games was dead... so he told T " of course itsyou, dun be stupid" Although in K's heart, T would be the only woman he loved,but with K's infatuation with games, Games was the one that had beenaccompanying K in his NS life.. ( note that I used G when I said Games,.., it wasto show that Games became something that K needed to pass everyday , just likesmokers needing cigarettes,. ) T didn't understand K at that time.... It was harder

for her to understand what K was going through... She was already out of his lifeand he was out of hers... so she thought to herself... ', fine... he might say this...but I tink what is more important to him is his games.. and not me..,'T becamesad ..' she didn't know why K is like that.., Many a time when T needed someoneto talk to.,, K was playing his games... many a time when T needed to ask forhelp in her studies... ( remember that r was a science student, and K wascommerce, ) she called K., and most of the time.. K was playing his games... Tdidn't want to bother K with her problems.. so she often said,, nevermind u playyour games then. And many times when K heard that.., he just say ok.. and hewll continue to play his games,,,. Every single night., although he had to bookin'.. he played till very late,.. There was a few times when he played till the nextmorning'..and then went to work without sleep... That was how hopeless K was.

K was a social symbol. He had many many friends from all different walks of life.He had many close friends.. about 20 of them whom felt that K was their veryclose friend. But, at that time when K was crazy over games.. he neglected all hisfriends. K didn t start becoming crazy over games just when he bought acomputer, he was all along ffazy with games.,. But it was because of his newcomputer, a super top range pc for gaming that made him so occupied. He didn'tmeet his friends that often.

He didn't talk io T as long as he did before,. It was really sad now when he thinksof it then... Hcuv the h**x did he became so lifeless? To this day, K realises it..How much precious time did he spend on games.. .n how much he had lostbecause of it. T became really sad that the loved one she had loved so dearly wasin love with something that is dead... a computer. Many a time when T went tolook for K... K rNas on his computer... he prefered to play games instead oftalking to T.., liow he knows how T felt... T went to take a 1.5 hrs jounrey... justto c K playing on his computer.,.. How heartbreaking that must have felt....

on K's side.. l,e didn't know that he had neglected T so badly then... he didn'tknow that r n.:eded his every ounce of support,.. T was badly coping withschoolwork.. and K was madly banging on his games,.. It was a sad sight. But Krealised that l- is no longer the same T.... so one night.. he asked r a iewquestions.." He said ... " I think we are drifting further and further apart... I thinkyou need to do something.... Haha,." he said it jokingly... when he said that rneed to do sor ething...

But he knows .irat it takes 2 pple to revive a relationship that has gone awry.Never did K tr, to understand what r is goin through, he just felt that r wasen;oying her l.je in Uni... and therfore hoped for her to do something just like shealways did.'. But T was already very tired,., she had to face schoot,lnO still keepgiving into the i-elationship.. T, no matter how great she is, is stilll human.. andhuman will feeltired.., she has become really tired of giving and giving...

So she said.." I know we are drifting apart... but I realty have no choice.. everytime I am free , u are not... everytime u are free.. I am not... it is not by choicethat I m study,;ng so hard... I cannot afford to fail... " T was a sensible girl...butfor K,. she dic,r't gav€ up.., she stills loves K.. and didn't want to give up therelationship si' easily...That night.,, K asked T a question,., K asked her., " is yourstudies really :;,; important? Let me ask aquestion... if u ilad 2 choices,. one is to fail your exams and retain once.,. and bewith me... and the other choice is u pass your exams and not be with me,. whatwould be your:hoice?" K knew that it is a difficult choice to make... But still heasked T... anc iroped that T would choose the first option.... T didn't answer thequestlon... T sked Ka question.. " will utakecareof me if I fail?" and Ksaid.."of course I w , take care of you.,." And r said.., " I don't know if you will believe

T}

me., but I would rather fail and be with you if you will take care of me.."

That was very touching to K... No matter how bad their relationship is heading to,K and Tstill loved each other deeply..,, K was touched.,. he was r.eally touched tohear that... but he said., " I don't believe it.. u serious?" or something ilke that.,.K always made it seem that he didn't trust her.

Deep inside, he knew that T was serious... why would she lie? But K's mouth wascursed... he often said the wrong things he didn't mean.... But now... hechanged... he spoke with his heart instead of his mouth.. no longer did he notspeak the real truth... But now... I think if he asked rthe questibn again... Twould have chose the 2nd option...

There was an incident.. which made K really angry with T again., K was a guywho only know how to get angry with T... but for this incident,.. It wasn'tanybody's fault at all,. K took leave again to go out with T.. naturally no NSFwould want their leave to be wasted... but that day.. T told K.,. that she cantconfirm with him what time would she finish her project... after that.. T would goand look for K ... so K waited at home.,, He saw T online,. and msged her.., "what time will u be coming" And it was about 12 noon... and r keep saying " soon" " soon " .... But r didn't come "soon".. she took a long long time... every nowand then,. k would ask her what time will she finish doing the project... andeverytime he asked.. T would say soon.,.

K couldn't understand why T took so long., although he knows that r had aproject, he didn't want to waste his leave just waiting like that... it was really sadto know that ur precious leave is wasted, I am sure everyone knows that...But Tfelt really pressured.., she needed to finish it as fast as she can.. but projects.., isnot under the control of r alone, there were other members too...

so K got frustrated by the hour... each passing hour makes K felt even morefrustrated. Each time T said soon.. he felt like he was being cheated... finally.., at7 pm..Tcalled K... and guess what she said? She said " do u want to come downto my school and join me and my friends for pool? we are going to play poolnow..'" Anyone can feel K's frustration? K didn't want to play pool with Tor herfriends. K didn't want to go out with any other pple. K only wanted r to spendtime with him, and now T , who had promised to come over to look for him,asked him to join her friends for pool instead.,. " what a joke ,' k thought in hishead.. how can T treat him like this., he thought....

so K got angry.. and said, " forget it, don't meet, u go with them" this abruptsentence made T feel that K was angry, and so she said... " if u are angry, I meetu only, don't go with them " .. but K, although he wanted so much to meet rwhen he took leave, decided that r would be happier if she goes out with herfriends instead... but instead of saying what he feels,,. he said.." go with them, unever wanted to meet me anyway, u made me wait 7 hrs for you, and now u askme to go and play pool with u and your friends, what a big joke. u like to go withthem, then u go with them, dun ask me to come." And he put down the phone..,

At that time, K didn't know what T was thinking, Surely she understands that Ktook leave to go out with her? Surely she knows that K didn't want anyone elsetogo out with them... Surely she knows that he will be angry when she ask thathe go play pool with her friends? Till now... T didn't say why,,. But K guessed itsbecause she was too tired and wanted to enjoy herself wi'th her friends instead ofcoming to look for K as it was late. "she don't care about me anymore.. " Kthought in his head... That incident made K feel thatr had changed.,.

But in fact... it was K who neglected T first... but at that point of time,.. K didn'tknow that... he didn't know that T did was a result of what he did.. he was thecause of it all.... That moment was a turning pt in their lives... T was feelingreally really tired already...That night,, K waited forT to come home... he wantedto C how late T came home... because T didn't want to look for him because itwas late,,,

in the end., T came home quite late... and he said..." if u can come home solate,.. and u didn't want to come and look for me.,. it is not an excuse,," orsomething like that. He blamed T for not coming,.. and T asked him " I thought u

asked me to go with them?" I don't know why K said that.., but he wanted tosay.. " please do not go with them... I have been waiting for u dear"." that waswhat he wanted to say... but I guess,., K's mouth n K's heart are really twoseparate entities...,

But K truly loved T. His actions were all because he was immatured,.. and didn'ttry to understand what T was going through. So one fine day... he asked T to go

some place they have never gone before.,, and it was east coast park.,. AlthoughK and T had been together for a long time... there are still lots of things theyhavent done... like going to a park together... K and T are not nature lovers,..that could be a reason why... but anyway.. they had never gone to a parktogether., so that night.. K told T.. let me bring u somewhere... I know u will likeit..,, And so K asked T to wait at a certain mrt station,.. When K refused to saywhere he was bringing T, T guessed it all out... How did T know? I don't knowhow did she know.. but I guess she knows exactly what is on K's mind ever sincethey were together....

So that was why T knew where K wanted to bring her to.,..But that day,,. as theywere approaching east coast park... T suddenly said.. " Why u want to bring methere? " K said... " I have never brought u there before.. so that is why I ambringing u there now... " T passed a remark.. that made K change his mind... Tsaid.. " Or u want to bring me just like u brought ur ex gf last time?" K suddenlyremembered how he had told T that he had brought X to the beach once.. and itwas a very memorable day.... Although at that time K had forgotten about it... Tremembered it.. and when she said something like that.. K became sad" he

thought that T didn't want him to bring her to the beach..so he saw a steamboatbuffet... and asked T whether she would like to eat a steamboat diner instead oftaking away food from macdonalds and eating by the beach... T was indecisive..,but in her heart.. what she really wants is to go down to the beach with K...butfate made fun of them this time..,, T thought that K really wanted to eat thesteamboat... so she said.,, anythin is fine., with me.,., K thought that T didn'twant to go with him to the beach... and T thought that K wanted to eatsteamboat... it was very sad,.. in the end.. both of them ate the steamboat anddidn't enjoy a bit of it... it was expensive and the food sucked.,. But both of themwere happy...as they thought that eatin steamboat was what the other partywants..., T and K loved each other.. and that was why..they gave in that day.'both of them thought they were giving in..but the sad reality was... both of themwanted to go down to the beach..,.

That night.,. they talked online.,. it was till then did K found out that T wanted tobring food down to the beach and enjoy a night with K... but she said.. " U lookedso keen to eat the steamboat." And K said". " I thought u didn't want me to bringu to the beach..." Although this was only a small incident,.it shows two things.. itshows thatT n K loved each other a lot,,, but it also showed that... they had a

communication problem .... The communication problem between them hassurfaced,..

Many times K told T about his problems in Ns... but T could do nothing about it..many times T told K about the problems in school., neither could T do anythingabout it,.. they had their own problems.. and they both need someone to bethere for them,., but neither could be there for each other... Both T and K wasinsecure and dependent souls... K was independent when it comes to takin careof himself and living on.. but he was emotionally dependent... So was T... T wasan insecure and dependent girl... So both of them didn't cope well with theirlives... Many a time., Tcalled Kto confide in him... and manytimes.. K was too tired.,. many a time.. K smsed T when she was in school,.. andmany times T replied very very slowly... there was one incident.. which made Tsad again...

Once.. K wanted to go to T's school to pick her up,.. But he wanted to talk to T ashe was going there. He tried to call T many times.. but T didn't pick up his call...the night before, K had told T... if I ever called you tomorrow, please come out topick up my call,,. He expects T to come out from her lesson to pick up his call..,which was rather silly. Why cant he just wait for T to finish? But at that time, K

felt that way.. he felt that T should do that... so when he cant find his way up herschool, he called her.. time after time.. but she just didn't pick up.", She evenrejected his call.... So K waited and waited and called and called while waiting....Finally.. T came out of the lecture theatre... what did she c but K's angry faceagain,.. K had went all the way to T's school.,, ffbm his workplace.. which wasabout 2 hrs time... but he din make his effort to make Ttouched..

When he saw T,. The first thing that he said was.. " why did u not pick up mycall?" And then they argued and both of them got angry... in the end..' K walkedaway just like that,.. he walked out of the school.., alone... and didn't speak a

word to T when T reached the bus stop later. T was sad and silent at the busstop, K was angry and silent. When K and T reached the mrt, K decided to justwalk fast and dump T behind, It was really silly,, he had gone all the way to lookfor T.. and he is just walking away like that... when he thinks about it now... hewas really an idiot.

In the end,. K went to an arcade to play all by himself.... K didn't like going toarcades.. but at that time., he just did it... But T was forgiving,.. T didn't want K

to waste her efforts.. so she went to look for K... she knew exactly where K was,..She knew K only too well... But once again... another nail had been hammeredinto her heart.... The situation was... just like the time when T made dinner forK,,. K didn't appreciate it because it was late,.. This time.., T didn't appreciate itbecause K was angry..(K's point of view)

When K thinks about all these now.. he is filled with regrets.., why was T alwayssad? Why did he often do things to hurt T when she is the one that he loves somuch? This is really lame,.. If time could be reversed , K would have done manythings differently. K was a fool to have treated T like that.,. K didn't show Tthathe really loved her and cared for her,. he only showed her anger, distrust, pain,and unhappiness when what he had was love, care, devotion and happiness. HehurtT unknowingly and bluntly... there is no excuse for hurting T, but if K saidwhat he really wanted everytime he met a situation... T wouldn't have had so

many holes in her heart..., Maybe t or 2 small ones,.. haha........ I din mean tolaugh.... I am laughing out of sadness.

There was one rare time.. when K made T happy.., It was another time... when Twas going to school to study at night overnight. K bought something for T". Tloved a certain brand of sweets that had many different colors in it. So that day...when T was going to school, K was unlucky to be on mobilizationmanning.., which meant that he couldn't go to her school to be with her.

Everything seemed planned out by Fate... the one who made them and brokethem, T didn't spent time in school overnights., but just that very time shewanted to go, K's camp was on mobilization, and K couldn't risk going there ashiscamp and her school were 2 hours apart in terms of journey time... It was allfated.

But although K could not go to her school with T,., he bought the very sweetsthatT loved... he bought them... and gave them to T on Saturday... although itwas only a small gesture,.. T was very happy... how did K know? Because thatnight.. whep T was studying in school,, K asked T... " how dear, did u eat thesweeties I give U?" and T replied.. " nO..," then K asked.." why not? U didn't likeit?" and T replied,, " no.., I bu she de chi.... ( which means she could not bear toeat them..." then K asked her.. " why u bu she de chi leh? I buy for u hope that itwill keep u awake.. " the sweets were good at keeping pple awake as it was a

little sour.., and then T started to say.. " Whenever u give me something, I feelvery happy.. no matter how small or cheap the thing is.. I still like it a lot.. " andthat touched K... K bought the sweets as a small gesture to keep her awake.. andT appreciated it... but the things that T did for K... he never appreciates it...

So the time came... for T and K to take their exams.. remember that K isstudying too? All along.. K was very confident in that field of study he is in..,Remember the bubble tea stall that I talked about? T and K still go there...Previously.. they had always gone there for studying,,, but after the A levels... Tand K still go there... to eat.. and drink,.. that was just like their very own "lao difang", which means same old meeting place'

They spent so much time there.. and now when K and T were about to take theirexams, they go there a few times too.. Many times when T needed someone tostudy with her... she hoped for K to accompany her.,. she hoped that K could justbe there for her while she studies...but she is not that selfish... when she ask K tostudy with her, she knows that K's weekends are very valuable and she didn'twant K to spend a weekend just studying with her if he didn't feel like it.., T wasthat considerate for K... K didn't like studying... and as he was very confident...he didn't see the need to prepare for his exams.

Whenever K and T went to study together, K was always the one that wanted toleave. K wasn't considerate enough to understand that T needs him to be withher ,.. T felt so stressed up..T could not take it studying alone by herself."maybe she can take it.. but she would be happier to know that K was beside her..there was once that K and T met at the airport to study... and when 6 pmreaches, K told T that he had enough... he wanted to go home soon... then heleft... and left T there.... He told T to meet her for dinner after she finishesstudying... at their own "lao di fang". That was one time when K couldn't sacrificehis weekend studying with K. K didn't do it. K only knows that his weekend isprecious, he didn't think that his presence was even more precious for T'

now that when K walks past the place now... he don't feel like walking into theplace anymore,.. When he sees the chairs, tables and the stall owner at the shopnow.. he didn't know what to do.., he just hated to walk past there now"',Whenever he goes near that place.. he will start thinking about those happy timesspent with T... Never will T n K go there together anymore."That was inoctober... october 2001....

T heart is filled with holes by October 2001... and K still didn't know anything...All that they went through, K didn't think that it would be serious... he neverthought that T would give up their relationship... He thought that their love could

withstand anything.. but let me tell you,,.no matter how strong the love is..'there is also other thinEs,. like security.. concern... care.,-. support.,encouragement...money..( not that impt for some ppl , but very impt for others )T didn't ireed anything much.., she needed". care and concern,' and love.' thatwas her basic needs,.. K remembers when he wasin P tekong... Man basic needs are : food air and Sxx.'. but for K'. his basic

needs... is.. t, T and T.,.. T was the reason that motivates him on everyday.' T

was the reason that gave him aim in life... He may seem like an unfilial son, but

apart from his parents... T was the only other thing closer to him' One

fine night.. K's dad told him.., " don't take T for granted, she is not obliged to

wait for you when are in the army " K took this sentence negatively.. he.interpretit as.,. " T will leave u anytime when u are in the army" K didn't realise that what

his dad said was really going to mean a lot for him.,.... finally .. the day came for

T to finish her exams...1ne minute T finished her exams.. she planned lots ofactivities.., she went over night to her friends place,. and after that she 9ot achalet... if only she didn't go to the chalet.,. because it was the final nail thatplunged into her heart..

When T told K that she was going to her friends house to stay, K once again feltjealous,.. K wasn't jealous of anything, he was purely jealous over the fact thatTLl*uyt spends nights with her friends and not with her'.. That was a main

.oncern.. he didnlt understand why T could not lie to her parents and spend a

night with him when she herself wanted to also".. So once again.' K was

uritruppy... but as this wasn't the first time.. it wasn't that bad,' K took it easy',.

but the next day, T was not going to be home again,'. all these times,' K and T

still talked every night.. But it was no longer K and T taking turns or calling each

other... it was T who called K and not K who called T. T felt that K no longer cared

for her... he was more interested in his games.. but K still felt forT." he was

blinded by games. He had become a no life freak'

But that night., K smsed T.,. he said.. "would u forget about me when u reached

the chalet?i'butT Said " no i would not forget u dear..." What K really meant

when he asked that.. was he was asking for her to tell him that she had reached

the place safely.... But T interpreted it as K didn't trust her... it was totalmiscommunication... When K smsed T.. it was about 9 pm... and after that'..there was no more reply from T... he waited.. waited for T to tell him that she

had reached safely... but no.. T didn't do that... The momentT reached the

chalet.. she forgot totally that K was waitin for herto sms him... when the time

reached 11 pm.. K was getting worried'.'.

Every night, K didn't call T.,. it was because T was at home." there was no

excuse for K in not calling T anymore.. but that day, T wasn't at home" and

therefore,. K was worrted.. he was afraid something might have happened to T"'and so he called her on her hp... but the hp was not on.' it was scary for K"'suddenly after smsing T.. there was no more reply. On T's side, the moment she

reached the chalet, she left her hp some place... there was no reception at thatchalet... and so T didn't realise that K couldn't get her. But on K's side, he feltvery anxious. He had no idea where was the place, and had no idea why T offed

her hp.,. he knew thatT had went home to charge her phone. So it wasn'tpossible that there was no battery.,, K got worried by the minute"'. when the

iime reached 1 am.. K was already very very anxious.... K thought to himself'."there is no way thatT had no battery... maybe she had no reception.. but even if

there is no reception... there wuld be reception at some time..," so K panicked'

He was afraid that something might happen to T.. he pondered about everythingthat might happen.., " T metwith an accident and her phone dropped?" " T got

her phone stolen?" " T's phone was spoilt"

If T's phone was spoilt, she would have told K..', so that leaves only a few

options,. which was T had forgotten that K was waiting for her to tell him that she

had reached the place safely,... OrthatT had met with an accident'." Both would

hurt K very very much... but K didn't think thatT would forget to tell him.that she has reached the place,.. so K kept thinking that something must have

happened to T... K was really worried,'. But T didn't know." K was anxious" but

t didn't know..the feeling was just like K didn't know that T was crying the other

time..,. K didn't want anything to happen to his dear T". K couldn'tsleep.. he was fidgeting in his bed... eventually" K didn't know what to do"'something told him thit he was worrying for nothing,' T just enjoyed herself and

forgot about K...

The next morning came... and K was awake at 6 am. He was still very worried"

so he wanted to call T's family. He picked up the phone,'. but decided not to as it

was too early... he thought tht if something happened to T"' T's classmates

would have told hr fami[... so the only ppl that will know whetherT I in trouble"'

is her family,...so K thought to contact her family as early as he can.," K

waited... he waited till it ivas Z am before hecalled her family.." At this time" K

hoped that t was ok.,,. He hoped that nothing hadhappqnd'.. so he asked her

brottrer who picked up the phone did u all reciee any call from T last night?? And

her brother said... no,.. T is in chalet', K heaved a sigh of relief' K was happy that

T was safe... in fact, he felt at that time if something happened to T, he wouldn't

know what to do at'all... it was really scary if somethin really happened to T"" all

the worry that K had was uncalled for""So he put them all aside"" And went

back to sleeP.

Finally, at 11 am, Tcalled.. Kwas still sleeping..' butwhen he knew itwasTwhocalled, he3umped out of bed... he told T... " why didn't u call me last night? Why

did u off your handphne? Why didn't u try to contact me? Did u know how worried

I was? Do u know I couldn't sleep for the night?" As much as K is

worried, he often showed his concern with harshness,..' In his heart, he truly was

worried... but his mouth, although conveying the same message to T, made T felt

10 times as hurt.... T couldn't sense that K was worried for her'." All the times

that K hurtT, he had never meant to... he didn't filter his words... his words were

harsh but his heart was pure. K literally shouted atT."' he was mean to her

again.... T tried to say that there was no reception.. and she forgot about it" she

eiioyeO herself thoroughly... and that was why she forgot to tell K that she had

reictreO the place safeiy... K said,." how do I know where u were? How was I

supposed to find you if u really had some mishaps? wht can I

dO when u are So unconcerned about my Concern towards you? " K's words were

really sharp and thrusting like knifes... they were flying everywhere.'.. Hitting T's

wounded heart.,..

T didn't know what to say,.. she just kept quiet... she didn't think that it was her

fault... as every night.. K no longer bothered to call her... and now she is not at

home,; and K called her,.. she didn't believe that K was truly worried for her'.'

she thought that K was just jealouS.,,.. T, wanted to meet K that day"' T wanted

to go and'look for f and spend sometime with him after spending so muc,h time

witl her friends..., But K refused' Although K wanted so much to see T after her

exams, he refused, His mouth did injustice to his heart again."'

As he scolded T... he said the word again... that really shattered T's heart this

time... he said.." If u cant even believe that I am worried for you..'. Then lets

break up..,. There is no point in worrying for you and u don't even know it"'there is no point in calling your house'... Checking to make sure that u are alright

so early in ttre morning, ind finding out that nothing has happened and what

really happened was t[at u forgot about me just as I expected u will"""

K meant to say that he had been worried and disappointed that T didn't feel it,.. K

meant to show that he cared... but when he said break up.... Everything elsedidn't get across to T anymore... T's heart was shattered. It was the final blow...she could no longer take it.., even till now... K doesn't know whether T knowsthat he really was worried that time.... It was something that T doesn't believethat time..., K's heart was always pure,.. but his mouth is not,..

After K said break up.. he slammed down the phone.... And hope that T wouldunderstand his intentions.,., But not this time.. T didn't understand anythinganymore... she had just finished her exams... and that was the worst thing thatcould have happened to her....K understands how she feels at that time now....How hurtful... to have an earnest heart to want to meet your boyfriend.., andbefore u know it.,. before u can fully understand his situation.,.. The words "

breaking up" sprang into her face... it was too hurtful.... Never should a girl gothrough all this...

But if only she knew.. if only she knew that K didn't mean it.., K had always toldT... " if I had said something hurtful.. please do not take it to be true,.. when Iam angry,.. never one word that comes out of my mouth is true... please bearthat in mind... " but how was T to know that K wasn't speaking the truth???? ButT, I thinkT remembered this sentence.. which made her call K again"'.., butalas... K was still angry when T called him.,.. T asked.. " do u really want to breakup with me" and K... in his heart... wanted to say " no". I just wanted to let u

know that I really care.. and feel hurt that u don't believe that I do care,..whywould I ever want to break up with you , the one that I love most?" but instead..he said... with hard heartedness... " yes.You don't care Hbout how I felt lastnight,,. and don't even feel that I cared and worried... whats the point ofworrying for you?" T ... at this point of time... was really really hurt... she couldno longer bear to speak one more word.... She put down the phone,.. and burstinto tears...

PoorT...why was she suffering all these? Why was that so? Why did K made hersuffer like that? K never meant to make her suffer one bit... K would rather sufferfor her..,. But why did everything happened? Not one time did K meant all thehurt that he had caused T... K was not like that... K wasfiever like that. K oftensaid things in anger.,. and often regret it after that.,. but this was the last strawthat T could take.,. No matter what K did, she always accepted it.. no matterwhat K said.. she endured it.. and accepted the hurt.,. but this time.. it was thelast straw...

But all these time.,. K didn't know that T was so badly hurt.... He thought that Tknew that he didn't meant it... he thought that T had beared his words in mind...he would always say things that he don't mean when he was angry..,. But that isno excuse for K... there is no excuse... it was just like the email story... When usay things in anger... it drives a nail into the fence.. no matter u mean it or not..,the nail still hurt the fence... if you don't mean it, don't say it, and the nail willnever hurt the fence... K is just like someone who drives nails into fences withoutthinking that it would make a hole in it... he thought that.. as long as the personwho drives the nails into the fence didn't do it on purpose, there would be no holeleft on the fence,.. but no., it was all wrong... Once the nail is driven in.., therewould be a permanent scar, and it will not help even if you didn't mean to knocka nail into the fence,

,

That fateful day was on 2nd december.... And the next day was the 3rd...'Remember that T and K always made it a point to spend the 3rd together? Thatday,., K thought that T would remember it was the third... and so he hoped that

-T would apologize that she was wrong in forgetting about telling K thatshe was safe... But no.,. that was all a mistake.... HOw would T ever apologizewhen K had said he wanted to break up, and even said it twice? Everythng that K

said in anger was meaningless to him, he himself didn't even remember that hesaid it twice. He didn't rememeber that T called him another time to askhim if he really wanted to break up, and he didn't remember that he had said ittwice to confirm it. It was only now that he remembered tht he had said it twice.

Why do i say that K didn't meant it? It was because if he really meant it, howcould he forget that he said it twice? It is really ironic that he could say it twiceand didn't meant it. So the 3rd came... and T didn't call or sms K... She was veryhurt by K... K waited.. and waited,,. he hoped for T to come and look for him.,but why would T ever do that? K was the one that wanted to break up with T, notthe other way round, so why would T ever go and look for K? it was really funny'K expects T to look for him when he said break up.

In his heart,.. he never meant to break up... but T didn't know it... T wasn't aheart reader... If T knew exactly what K meant,,. when K said " yes I want tobreak up with u because u didn't even believe that I cared and worried for you",she would have interpreted it as " I want to say break up because I am hurt thatu didn't believe that I cared and worried for the one I lor7e, I want to let u knowhow muCh I care for you, and I was really anxious about you last night,.." thatwas K's real intentions..., But T didn't know... how would she know? No one toldher, Neither did K told her.

So when K smsed T that day...T didn't feel anything anymore.., she just felt thatK was being mad, it was K who didn't want her, and now K is expecting her tocome and look for her. What a joke it must have been'.'.

That was the worse time of K's life. K didn't know how much T meant to him'.. K

knew that he loved T.. but what he doesn't know.. is how much he meant to T. K

meant everything to T, T had put in so much into the relationship and evenplanned to marry K, but what she got in return was hurt and sadness.What she got in return was K's evil mouth.. harsh words... and biting nails... ButK still was kept in the dark.., he didn't know why Tdidn't want to see himanymore... He was in the dark,..

And why did I say it was the worst time of K's life? Cos K has got his exams onthe 6, 7 and 10 of december, which was drawing near with every second. Butevery second passed, and all he could do is to think of T. To K, he felt reallypuzzled.. he didn't know that T had been so hurt by hirl. He didn't meant to saybreak up... so he didn't think that those words are the reason why T no longerwanted to see him.... He thought that T didn't want him anymore because he wasno longer part of her life,,. that was what he thought.., but it was all wrong. It isa tragedy that he had thought that way.

For the week that K was going to take his exams, he couldn't sleep every night...he could not take it... he didn't understand why... he kept asking himself why...and as the exams date drew near... K felt very very pressurized,.. he didn't knowhow to cope with his books... he stared at a page for a few hours.. and all he

could think of is why T didn't want him anymore... Little did he know thatT was

too hurt by him... he didn't know all that.... No one told him too.. just like no one

told T that K didn't mean it ... on the day before his exams...

K msged T... " why did u have to do this to me? I cannot study aynmore becauseof you..." K thought that T was the one who forsaked him... He thought that Twas using him as an excuse to break up.... Just because,he said break up, that

means thatT had a reason to break up with him.. that was what he thought,..but no... that was all wrong... T never ever wanted to break up with K.

Despite K's weaknesses... T knew that she loved K dearly.,. and she knew that K

loved her deeply too. Despite K's hurting her one time after another, she couldlive with it... she could do it.. she could sacrifice for K. K'knew that T sacrificed alot for him.,. but this time... he couldn't see why T didn't bother to contact himanymore.. K was a loser.., he lost his studies and his love,... He lost everything...

And so,.. a week passed... it was K's birthday..K's birthday was in the middle ofhis exams.... That day.. all he wanted was to see T.,. but he didn't call t... hemissed T dearly... but he didn't tell her that.., each day that T didn't contact K, Kmissed her so much. It was his birthday,,. and there was no T... at this time.. K

received an sms from his mutual friend of K and T.,. which says" " happybirhtday!!!, enjoy your birthday With T!!" K didn't reply... how was he suppose toenjoy his birthday with T? When K got the sms,.. he felt like crying'.. in hisheart.., he thought that T didn't want him any more.., how was he supposed todo anything to get her back? That was the first week.. and it was the worst timeof his life.,..but on K's birthday.. K called T,.. he thought that T will not pick upthe phone like she didn't for the entire week... but she did.,. she was really calmwhen she did that.

K asked T.. " do u remember that its my birthday today?" K still hoped that hecould meet T.... T replied.. " of course I remember its yo0r birthday... can I meetu to pass u my gift?" K was touched.. K didn't think that T would have a presentfor her... everytime T gave K a present,. it had lots of meaning.'..

Her first kiss... it meant a lot to her... it was a symbol of love and innocence..... Apillow... for K and her to lie on..., And to make K think of T whenever he sleeps...A sofa set with a heart on it... made with love.., to touch K.....,Hand made bandswhen she was in indonesia... to show how much she misses K....

But guess what T gave K this time? It was the saddest gift that K had gotten fromT,.. It was a optical sensor mouse... It had a lot of meaning too.... It had so muchmeaning that when K saw it... He felt like crying,., As I type this story.... I canthelp but feel that the optical sensor mouse is whatT is trying to tell K what shefeels....that K liked his computer more than anything else... and he would behappier to receive that present instead of all the meaningful gifts that she hadgave K before....

That day, K spoke to T... he felt that T really changed... T was no longer the old Tthat gave in everytime.. T had hardened her heart... But K didn't know why... Kdidn't know what did he do that made T became like that... how was he to know?Every time he smsed her.. she didn't reply.,. At that time he couldn't think ofanything else except that T wanted to gave up that relationship...that day... K

hugged t.,. but the feeling was not the same any more.. T was cold and hardhearted... How sad was K that day.., he thought that T had a change of heart... Itwas the saddest birthday he had ever lived in his 19 yrs.

If only K had asked T why,... But T, on the other hand, had tried to get it acrossto K many times that it was him who had made her feel hurt.... But she didn'thave any heart to heart talk with K.,. she had no more feeling to do it.., when a

girl is too deeply hurt... why would she do that? She wuld just climb into her shelland not come out... that is the characteristic of a hurt girl,

But K? he didn't know at all... he could only feel T's coldness, T's hardheartedness.. T's everything made him feel that she didn't want him

anymore...that day when he sent T home... he walked the slowest speed ever inhis life... K was always a fast walker.., he gave everyl the impression that hewas in a hurry everytime.. but that day, he walked really really slowly... onereason was that he knew he will have no more chance to walk T home anylonger., and the other reason was he was really sad thatT didn't want himanymore... It was that bad... even at that time,., K was still trying to tell T that itwas her fault that made him say break up... it never ever occurred to him thathow hurtful those words are... In his mind... the words doesn't mean anythingbecause he never meant it when he said it.... But T was hurt by the exact samewords that K didn't mean to say. Why did things end up like that? It was becauseK and T didn't communicate at all.... There was no line of communicationbetween them since K got his new computer....

Before K went home... he asked T to do a simple thing... he asked her,. " can wesms chat when I go home from here? The journey is very far... It was a requestfrom K... And it meant everything to K,. K wanted to see if T still cared abouthim... But fate made fun of T and K again... After sending one sms to T.., K

waited very very long.. before he got the reply... K was really sad when he wasgoing home., it was heartbreaking to know that his final request which meanseverything to him had not been fulfilled...

Sadly.. he told himself,. " T doenst care about you anymore.... She no longerfeels that u are lonely on your long jounrney home,,.." So when he reachedhome.. K was a sad K... he went to his room,. and started to think abouteverything... he thought,.. " just as I expected.. T didn't want him anymore.. sheno longer wants this relationship..."

But still.. he had a hope.... So he called T... and asked.. " y didn't u want to smschat and accompany me home???" then T said.. " her best friend called.. andthat's why she forgot..." the timing was really accurate. just when T reachedhome,,. and just when K needed T to show him that she still cares.,, her bestfriend called... K was really hurt.. he was really sure that T no longer loved himanymore,.. if she did.. she would have accompanied him on the way home.. Atthat point of time... K made up his mind.,. he told himself... " T doenst want meanymore,.. I cant do anything about it.,. its not what I can help,,." and so K

became passive from that day on....

He began to wallow in self pity,.. he drank ,.. and he spent money like water... hehad saved some money since he enlisted.,. and that time.,. he didn't feelanything anymore... he went to pubs.. he drank.. and he drank... he got drunksometimes... and felt temporary high a few times,.., What was all that for? It wasto forget about T... K was never a cheonger although his friends asked him to goeverytime.. K never drank more than 2 cups of alcohol... but not anymore,, K

became mad.,. and crazy... he drank as much as he could... he spent as much ashe can.... He literally used all his money in his bank... When K was likethat... everyone felt really sad for him... Everyone gave him support andencouragement... But they were all temporary.,.

When K was alone waiting to sleep at night, he couldn't help himself but think ofT,.. how much he missed T then.., he stopped playing games... he only playedgames to immune himself toeverything else... Every night as he lay on his bed... tears came to his eyes,.. K

went through a lot... being out of love. His health problems came back to plaguehim..

Each sleep didn't rest, Each coffee has lost it taste... Each scent had lost theirsmell... Every meal didn't fill, Every drink didn't quench... Every game wasn't

exciting anymore. Every show lost its meaning, every min without T's love was

sorrow., Each passing day was just hell for K"'

But K couldn't do anything except doing nothing. Why was that so? It was

because he thought [f''at lt was T who didn't want him"' so he would rather T be

happy.., why did I say that? Because T said something"'

T said,. ,' I love you, but I think we are better off as friends.." K didn't understand

what she meant,. K thought that T meant she will be happier if she is without K,

so she would rather give up the relationship..,K thought that T wanted to enjoy

her life in Uni and not be attached to him... he thoughl that K didn't want to

commit in their relationship anymore... K didn't know that whatT meant was "' "

its too hurtful to be with you, its better that we be friends"" that was what T

meant... but K didn't know ,'.. K didn't didn't didn't know""

So what did K do? K was overwhelmed with sorrow. He could not push himself to

live on.. Whenever he goes to a place where he and T went before" he would see

the image of him anO f happily going out'..' There was this place where they

went to eat remember? A pizza hut '.. ,and now, K had not stepped into that

place anymore.. He could no longer do it,,. stepping into that place is a

heartbreaking feeling,. many Many times K went past that particular shopping

mall... And many riny times he told himself... No... There is no more Twho

would go with u ...

K didn't know... K thought.,. " T didn't want me anymore"' I must pick myself up

and live on... Isnt this what I expected anyway? That T would leave me when I

am in the army.. this is just exactly what happened.." I should be mentally

prepared..."

But K wasn't mentally prepared... he had never ever thought that he and T would

ever break up.. He thought that T and him could stand the test"'. That everyone

else failed... But that wJs what he thought.. it was different from reality. Reality

at that time, to him, was that T had forsaken him""

But what was T doing ? T was hurt and sad". Everytime she saw K's sms" she

didn't reply.., she cortO feel that K was still blaming everything on her... but why

did she ieel that way? Because K didn't know the real reason" K didn't know that

she was so hurt, he tought that she didn't want to commit anymore' But the

moreshe didn't reply, the more K felt that she was really gone forever"' the more K

wanted to know why, the more T rejected it... T was a girl.'. a poor hurt girl who

had loved and was hurt'

Why would she still have the heart to take anymore of K's accusations? Why

would she want to respond to things that K

thought it was? No longer did she want to explain and waste time and breath to

revirie K, as K had hurf her too deeply... So even though she knew that K was

suffering badly, she didn't want to do anything anymore'.' She herself was

sufferin! as *ell.,, Man is selfish'... Everyone is. The only one that could give and

give whole heartedly without forsaking you is God. T and K are both no God.'.'

T had gave K lots of chances to change"' But K didn't do it"' whenever he say he

will do it.. he will do it for a while.. and after some time.. he will revert back to

the old K. his promises to T were always broken.. Each time he break his

promise, anotirer nail went into the fence'.' So at that point of ttme" T No longer

want to give K anymore chances... Maybe she wanted to , but it had to be K who

was the bne trying hard, and not she just giving K the chance and not he himself

who earned it.,.So her heart was charred, blistered, sore, hurt, ravaged, broken,split, shattered, cracked, scarred and nailed .,. but it was not dead,, Her love forK... made her heart live on,,..

But as each passing day passed, as each sorrowful night went by,,. her heartbecame harder and harder.... It was deterioating by the day....

T had just finished her exams... and she wanted to enjoy herself, Her exams wereso horrid that she was rejecting it all the way... and what made it worse was whathappened,... IT was really really too much for her to take. No amount of wordscan describe what T went through... But K didn't know it.,. K was totally in thewrong direction..... He believed in the wrong thing...

And K..what did he do? He tried his best to communicate with T.. but all he didwas ask this.. ask that,.. he kept asking why... every sms he sent, it was not totell T that he is sorry.. it was not to tell T that he is in the wrong... It was to ask Twhy did she didn't want to commit anymore.,, Every thing he did, he had themindset that T didn't want him, and not he had hurt T too much... and so when Tdidn't reply him.. he grew even more sad and hurt,, he didn't have a good time ata ll...

Remember the bubble Tea stall that K and T frequent? When he walks pastthere,., he could C he and T sitting there.. just like before... he remembers thetime when he and T were sitting there and studying for their A levels.. heremember the times when he and T woke up early to meet there to havebreakfast... T would come all the way... from her house to the stall.., just to havebreakfast with K.., heartwarmingly... all these images flashed into his head,..there was once when they even waited for the stall to open... they had came tooearly..,

Both K and T loved the food and drinks there... they have spent a lot... thatbubble tea stall had a certain noodle.... And whenever K eats this noodles.,. Twould say,, " I know how to cook it too.." and K would always tease T.. sayin9,."haHa, the one u cook surely cannot make it" although K said that,.. he reallywanted T to cook it for him... T would always say,, " hmph, u dunwan to eat thendun cook for u liao,.." So many times did T said she knew how to cook,.,, Butbecause she had a hectic schedule,. there was no way she could spend time tocook for K.., and the only time when she was free,., that was after her exams,,.and such a terrible thing happened,.,. How she must have felt,..

She wanted to do so many things after her exams ,.. she wanted to cook for K...But now, there was no longer any chance for K to eat the noodles anymore...Neither would he go to the bubble tea stall to eat the noodles there.. It wouldnever taste the same without T, T was all K wanted in his life.., and he had lostT.,. If he could eat the noodles that T promised to cook for him now, he wouldrather not have any other things to eat for the rest of his life, except T's noodles.

T had many things to do too after exams. She wanted to watch movies withK,,,spend more time with K.,.. and look for K more often.... And do the things shehad promised him to do when she has time.... After K got his computer., hedownloaded a lot of movies.,, All the movies T wanted to watch but had no time,K downloaded them,.... K didn't watch it himself.. he was waiting forT to watch itwith him, but T never had the time to do it..., K wanted so much for T to havetime to watch it with him, and so he kept them in his computer and never deletedthem,.. But the terrible incident happened.,, and T would not watch those movieswith K again..,

F

Even till now.. the movies are still inside K's computer... he will never ever deletethem.. with the hope that T will watch them with him one day,,,

But even though K felt all these... he didn't change.. he was still the same old K.,.the same K that treated T in the same way all along.,, If T had forgiven him thattime... I can tell u that K will still be the same person.. he will never change.People never change until something serious happens, For the week after K metT... he was still the same K.. there was no change in him. If T had gone back tohim then.. she would stll suffer.. she wll not find real happiness, T was in pain..she needed to relieve it...

what did K do to relieve his pain? K went to drink.,. went out with friends.. andspent money.., but all to no avail, he still felt as painful as it is.,. K drinks to feelhappy temporarily,.. but after that, reality still seeks in.... But by the time herealises it, it was too late... he had spent every bit of his money left.

K chatted with many friends... to ease the sadness... K had the samecharacteristic as T.. they were both dependent and insecure ppl... So K had todepend on his friends to console him., But the hurt and pain that he had was notthat easy for anyone to just say a few words and he would be ok'

K told his friend... one of his guy friends who had a gf just like he and T, he toldhim" hey, me and T had broken up,.. I really cannot go on with my life.," and u

know what his friend said? His friend said,. " break break lah, hack care lor. Whatcan u do? Find someone else," It was so short, but it meant a lot to K. K

thought... what could he do? It was T who didn't want him anymore.. what canhe do to change that? T wanted to enjoy herself and not be stuck with me... whatcan I do to change that?

It became worse for K, K knew that now... he could do nothing and just live withthe cruel fact, K didn't know that was all untrue... If he had changed and went tolook for T and ask her for her forgiveness., he would have succeeded. But no, hedidn't do that. He thought.. " if it was T who changed heart, no matter what Ido... I would never succeed..," and he gave up... K didn't trust thatT loved himthen. Why would he trust that? No way..T was the one who didn't want torespond to him anymore... love is very meaningful. K had came across thisphrase in the mindef forums.. that say..

" Love is patient.. Love is kind., It does not envy, it does not brag, it is not proud,it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record ofwrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It alwaysprotects, always trusts, always hope, always persevere. Love never fails."

K was weak... he is not patient, he is proud, he is rude, he is easily angered, hekeeps records of wrongs, and he didn't trust that T loved him. He kept thinkingthat T didn't want him anymore... he didn't know that he and T had love... K

never ever trusted himself that T really loved him with her heart and soul,.,. He

was not fit to say that he love T,...

What about T? she was patient with K., she gave K lots of chances.. she was kindto K,., she always tried her best to make K happy... She is not proud, and shewould rather herself fail than to break up with K.. so she is not self seeking,. T isnot easily angered,,. Everytime K did something wrong,,. she would not get angryas often as when T did something wrong,.. She managed to do many things thatfulfiled the phrase,.. But what did K manage to do? Barely a few, And K still hadthe cheek to tell her that she don't love him... How that must have felt....

On the side of T, how did she get through the times? She went out.. went out andwent out... she spent everyday to go out,., she didn't want to stay at home andthink about the horrible thing that happened., T needed someone to take care ofher,,. T needed someone to support her just like K was needing his friends. Butno matter how her friends or his friends were there for them, the pain that bothof them felt was too deep to be eased simply.

T started to go out with a guy who asked her out... She began to feel loved andcared... she was having those stuff that K never gave her for so long...care,concern, love, support, encouragement... she had all these in her darkest hour..from this guy..This guy managed to show T that he was the one that could reallytake care of her.,. unlike K, who were so lacking in the other areas of love likesecurity, care.. etc.. This person,. had all these... Twas happy that there was thisperson who had all that she needed for so long.. T didn't need hurt, T didn't needpain. T didn't need to suffer for K. T's shattered heart was struggling to live on...She could not love that easily anymore... she didn't want to suffer the feeling ofgiving and givng and getting nothing in return...

And now.. this person.. was someone who was ready to give '.. It is alwayshappier to be loved than love others. T can feel this guy's sincerity and love., itwas just like what she did to K last time... She gave.. and now.' he gave"..

But.. T's scarred heart... still felt for K.,. she still had love for K.. she still love K.

As I have said.. Love is such a wonderful thing when described in that phrase.She had that love.. pure love for K that still made her think of K., It was K'sfoolishness that made him not realise that fact..,, So one night.. T talked to K

online.... That was the last chance that she would have ever given K,. it was herpure love that made her say so much to K.... When K talked to T online,.,, He hadnot gotten over T...

It was sometime near christmas...he was still in the dumps. A few weeks haspassed.. but K was still wallowing in the mud... But when he saw that T wasonline.. He tried to talk to her again.. K was very happy to have a chance to talkto her.." but he spoilt his own chances again... If only he said what he really felt..But I guess.. it was not that easy for K to do so... he didn't think that T still lovehim.

K asked T... " when did u start to think that I werent meant for you?" in K'shead.,. he thought that T didn't like him anymore... so he asked that question...then T replied.. " recently.," the meaning that K get...and the meaning thatTwas trying to put across was totally different,,. K thought" so she gave us upbecause she didn't want me anymore... I was not meant for her... she changed,." but T was trying to say.. " I kept giving u chances after chances.. but u didn'tchange. U said u will but u never did. We are not meant to be together because Ihave given everything to u , and u didn't gave me anything.." that was what shemeant..

K knows it now,.. but it is only Now that he knew it.,. then K asked T anotherquestion " why cant u commit anymore?" and T said,, " I still want to have fun.. Istill want to enjoy myself..." T also said .. " I will not love anyone else.. there willbe no future guys.. I will concentrate on my studies'.." from these twosentences.. K thought.. " She said she wants to have fun.. which means shedoenst want to be stuck with me in army... she wants to enjoy herself... thatmeans she wants tO have more choices.,. " but when K saw " I will not loveanyone else.. and there will be no future guys.." he could not understand it,.. he

didn't believe it.. How was he able to believe all that when T had confirmed thatshe had wanted to have more fun instead of being stuck with him?

F

So K said.. " no,.. u will find someone else... and one day.. u will tell him that u

cannot commit as well.,." That sentence hurt T again,.. K didn't believe whatevershe said....But if only she knew.. if only she knew that everything she did andsaid had been misinterpreted..,when T said the sentences that she wants to havefun and cant commit,.. she meant,, " I cant commit anymore... commitment toyou is too hurtful... I did so much.. but I didn't get anything in return.. I will nolonger dare to commit...why not just have fun and enjoy myself instead ofsuffering so much in love..," and when she said there would be no future guysand she wants to concentrate on her studies... she really meant it at that time....

But K once again didn't believe her. He didn't believe that she loved him.., so heasked her,." if u really love me why do u want to give me up?" then T said.. " Ilove you.. but I think we will be better off as friends..." no one could everunderstand this sentence.,. only T will.,. only T knew why,.. No one who everheard this sentence knows what it means... neither did K knew.,. but K know itnow.., but it is only now that he know it,.

At that time.. K thought to himself., " why is T still trying to lie to me? If she loveme.. why cant she commit? Why did she say that she loves me but want to be

only friends?" And so K didn't believe T.., although he knew that T had loved hima lot , but when she said that she loved him but only want to be friends, K couldnot believe the logic behind it... He didn't know that it was him who had hurt T sodeeply that made her feel that being in love hurts so much.. might as well be

friends... that was the real meaning that T was trying to say... but K didn'tknow.... So K replied.. " no.. you don't love me... if you love me.. u will be able tocommit,., if you lov me... u will not want to break up.... So I am going to hideinto my shell now.... To avoid all these... it is too painful..." T was sad again...but sh still spent her last time typingthese..she said,. " I don't know wther u believe me or not.. but I am going to sayit.. I still love you.."

But K could take no more of the lameness in her words. How would a girl want toleave him when she loved him? Nobody in this world could understand the logic...Maybe someone can,,. someone who had learned a lesson before.... Who is Know... finally he can understand the logic now.,. But once again.. its only Nowthat he understood....T had been waiting for K to come back to her and changefor her.,. till that day.,, that was the last time that she wanted to give K his lastchance,,.,

And so K became as sad as ever again,.. each day., K could do nothing but stonehis life away,. K spent his time thinkin and thinking.He sat in his office wholeday... he could not work... he affected the mood of his happy offi'ce.. he affectedthe mood of everyone.., He was so depressed that everyday he skipped lunch..he was so sad that he could only eat 2 mouthfuls of food before dumping therest. He was so hurt that he could only sleep after thinking about T every night.Each passing day made K weaker.. K became so weak and so weak that he hadno energy to do anything. Each time K had to do duty, he cried alone at ni9ht..he kept it soft... so that no one could hear her...Each night... he thought of WhyWhyWhy.. and why..,why did all that happened,.,K couldn't accept reality'Somehow he felt that he will never evdr forget T in his life. Each day passed andstill K thought of T. K couldn't forget her... Every day K went out with a differentfriend,,. females., males... anyone... K went out with anyone. K even wentclubbing with an irc friend...,, and got drunk.. in the end.. it was her who carriedhim and pulled him around. He was like a slump,.. where have u ever seen a guylike that? It was always supposed to be guys taking care of the girls in clubs.

F'

K was no longer the same K that each and every friend knew. K was emotionallyweak... he could not harden his heart and say.. " So what if T left me, I canalways find someone else better.." just like his friends say. K could only say in hisheart.. " why would I want to find someone else better? It is not about any girlwho is better or whatever... It is about the person I can really say love now.. and

that is T.." One day, K went out with this girl.. she was the most sensible girl thatK ever knew.. this girl,.. this girl taught K about something that he never knew..".Something that wai really imporatnt to'all guys in army...

she told K.. " the biggest problem that army guys face with their sweetheartswas.,. that they could not understand what their gf is going through outside. '

they always think that their Gf is happy and enjoying their lifes... but what theydon't know is that there is always stress and homework to cope with.. there is so

much the girl has to sacrifice in order to be with the guy, Weekends are spentwith their bf, which the guy will think is only right,. but on the side of the girl,they are giving up many many things and many activitiesor enriching stuff that might benefit themselves.."

When K heard all that... he found that it is really true.. he began to think.' he

began to think how T felt.. he began to feel... he began to remember how T feltand how she sounded when she called K after studying... He began to rememberhow T always spent her weekends with him.. and how he had taken it all forgranted... just like what that sensible girl was saying., when K thought about all

itrat.. he realised.. he realised how much T had sacrificed for him, How did thisgirl know? It was because this girl had scolded her friend's bf before and told himall that, and it helped the couple to strengthen the relationship'

And Now, K started to think.. he started to hear in his head.., how T said'. " can Italk to you for a while? I m really stressed up.." the voices were stirring in his

head.. he began to hear.. " can u accompany me to the airport to study? I reallywant you to be there.." " I need to get back to my books now,... Very Stressed.'"K heard all these.. in his head.. he began to realise how much t needed someoneto help her.. to at least show support and encouragement., at least show concernfor her... K realised how much T was suffering.. at that very moment his friendtold him. But it was all fated.,. If K didn't break up with T, he would never havegone out with that friend of his., it was because of his break up that made him go

out with other girls and other friends. It was because of him going out with themthat made him realise what did T went through, If T didn't break up with K, Kwould never know. But now T had broke up with K, and K finally realised it, K

finally knows how it felt.. but it was all too late.'

But in her heart. She still loved K.. she sent greetings to K on christmas and newyear... but K didn't respond., she wished him merry christmas.,. But K never feltone bit of merry during that time,., she wished her happy new year,.. but K didn'tfelt one bit of happiness,,,. Every single day that K passed without T was onlyfilled with sadness, But T.. T was feeling loved and cared for., T could find solace

with another person.. T felt the feelings that she had so long not gotten fromK,..T realised that K was so hopeless., although K was the one she loved so

deeply, in the end, the one that is hurt is her. Why was she so foolish to doeverything for K? She thought that she was the silliest person on earth, Manygirls are like that... when they have been hurt.. they can no longer show thesame level of commitment and the same amount of love. It is only natural thatfemales do that. But T although was not prepared to give , needed concern and

love,.. if the person could give her that"' it was enough..

So eventually.. T accepted the new 9uy....... T decided to give K up," and went

with the other guy...The minute she made the choice in her life, everything beginto change again,..

But K didn't know. He didn't know that his beloved T was already with someoneelse... So one night,. when K was in tears again.. he sent 2 msgs to T... he said..

" I don't know what u are doing right now... But I am as usual, thinking of you,just like every other night since u left me.. I miss you T,,."

And he said., " Just want to let u know that I have not stopped loving you sincethe day we broke up... Its not so easy to forget someone like you.."

But T was already with the other guy... and she didn't remember those smsnow.... It had no meaning to her anymore.. But K didn't know. He was in thedark.. he thought to himself.. If T wanted to have fun and wanted to enjoy herlife and not wait for me.. its for her own good.. If T wanted to study hard and notthink about guys.. its also for her good... and so with that in mind.. K only feltsorrow and could not do anything.. If going back to the relationship is not what Twant.. K respected that.

But If the real reason that T didn't want K anymore was because she was givingup on him as he had hurt her, he would not have given T up.. He believed in thewrong reasons.. again and again...Throughout the time that he was sad... hethought that he could do nothing about it.... And that was the most heartbreakingpart of it all,.. K thought about the times when he was dreaming about building afamily with T... he thought.. Twas studying when he ORDed.. he thought... hewould get a stable job.. and start off with his accounting qualifications.., hethought how nice it was to one day be able to go to T's school and drive herhome...

He dreamt of many things. How he and T will get married once she finishedschooling... he remembered the times when T would blush and say she wants tomarry K.., he remembered the time when T cooked for him before leaving forindonesia.. just like his wife... he dreamt about how T and him will look like whenthey are older and had kids.. which would look exactly like them... how cute itwould have been,.. he remembered that sms from T.., that one which said " mustbe very cute.." and it reminds him how hopeful T was in their relationship....

But back to reality... he thought that T no longer want all that., T doesn't wantthe dreams anymore... Why is he still thinking about it? He thought he was a foolto think about all these, but no,, he wasn't a fool, He was in love... Love ishopeful.. K hoped so much that all these would not just vanish.. he hoped that itwill still be there., K didn't know why he didn't give up., He didn't know why hekept thinking about all these...

Many a time.. his friends.. seeing him in such agony.. told him.. " forget abouther, she is not worth it.., " and things like." No matter what happened, u shouldgo on with your life and not dwelling on such things... Its very unhealthy..."although T, had picked herself up to continue with her studies with the help andsupport of the guy and her friends, K was not to be.. K was still in the dumps. K

could not accept the emotional break up of him and T... as they had beentogether for a long time. K had dreams still... K dreamt that one day, everything

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willjust become normal again.,..

But all he could do was dream... dream wasn't reality. During the time when Kand T broke up, K dreamt of rat least 3 times a week,.. I gutss it is called "daythink, night dream" which means if u keep thinking about something in the day..u will dream of it at night....

K could not pick himself up.. K was weak with his emotions... he lost all meaningin his life. T was the reason why he did everything... T was the support of K,. themorale support and the knowing that T's love is still there for him was his basicneed,.. and he had lost his basic need... K wanted to study... to support her,. Kwanted to let T know that there was someone who will take care of her forever...Everytime K went out with T... he never want T to feel poor... although he is onlydrawing an NSF pay., he tried to pay for everything if he could., he thought aboutthe times when he was in JC,.. K went to take tuition then.... HE could remembera few times when T and him went out and he had to tell T that he had to go fortuition...' And T would wait below the block where K was teaching tuition to waitfor him.. It was so touching, so nice, so sweet.

K remembered the times when he and T sneaked out of school ,.. when they hadlessons... It was so exciting to run with T.,. it isnt the same like skipping schoolhimself... when he knew that r was following him close behind... he felisohappy..a feeling of running away from everything with the one u like...

And why did K take tuition at that time? It was not entirely for himself..,. All histuition money.., he didn't mind spending it on T... when K took his pay,,. hedidn't even think one bit when he used it to spend on T.,, no matter what it is,Every cent spent on T was worth it... Even till now, K feel the same way.. butnow... he has upgraded.... Not only monetary concerns would he spent on T...now". every min spent, every hour wasted to make T know that he still loves heris worth it...

But although T had set her priorities in life already, not K. K was still in agony.,. Kwas still thinkin about T. T may not have been thinking about K anymore, but X isstill there, thinking about r every single night... K couldn't go on... the pain wastoo much for him to take...

so one night.. he decided to send T an email.., He said something like " I cant goon with my life., can u tell me why? can u tell me the real reason that u aregiving up this relationship? Please provide some answers/ If u still want me as afriend... Everyday is like hell for me, please don't make me go through all thisand tell me the truth.."but what was the truth? K still didn't know the truth, andthat was the biggest joke in the world.

so T didn't bother to reply... and let K waited and waited,.. Every single day,,. Kchecked his email to see whetherT replied.. but there was no reply.. t was'reallycruel, but I guess this is the normal characteristic of a girl who is hurt before..They have a right to protect themselves, K checked and he checked... but there r:;

was never ever going to have another email from T anymore..

In K's agony, he began to like techno and trance.. i don't know why that sort ofmusic is associated with sadness and depression... But it is... It is a way ofshowing " life sucks " and that is quite true... Army guys go cheong at weekends..and listen to these... K always liked love songs.. he was a singer.. He joinedmany competitions before,.. and always, he sang love songs... he sangsentimental songs... But now, K only listened to techno and trance music...

Why was that so? It was a symbol of sadness. K wished for T to one day call himand say.. " lets not fight anymore.." or he wanted so badly to call r andsay., " Imiss u dear... I am sorry that I hurt u.." but he will only say that if he knewWHY... he didn't know why,,.

Life is often like that., one thing leads to another... when K and r broke uF, Kmet his friend, who taught him the problems that girls face when their guy is inthe army..,. And that was how he realises what r was going through... 6tir","same time". When K knew thatT had someone else, he reilised hlw imptTwasto him" he realised he could not lose T.,. T was his everything

But when K found out that T had gone with another guy, he didn't believe it atfirst".But it was also because that T had become another guy's gf that caused Kto find out the real reason...

One rainy night... K could still remember that night.. when it had been raining forthe whole day'.'K received a call at about 12 midnight... It was K's friend whowas studying in the same Uni as T... and she said..."K, give it all up... T is withsomeone else now..' dun take it too hard... " that was all she said.... But that oneshort sentence... meant a million things to K.. It meant.. " so T had another guyall along,." it meant " T lied when she said there would be no future guys.. ,'itmeant T lied when she said she would concentrate on her studies.., ii meant Tlied when she said that she wanted to be free and enjoy herself.,.. It meant thatit was because of the other guy that made T not reply x anymore... It meant whyTdoesn't want K anymore., it meant whyTcould be so hard hearted when shesaw K so sad and down on her birthday.. It meant everything....

K didn't sleep that night.. It was as if a lightning bolt had struck K... No one canunderstand how it feels.., That is exactly the same feeling that K didn't want X, tofeel last time.' K told X the truth.., K told X that there was someone else in therelationship instead of lying.. the pain is intense but truthful.., But this time... Kfelt the agony and sharp biting pain... The biting cold ate into his heart.. He feltlike he had been a fool... to cry for T, to be sad for T.,. to be depressed for T.., tospend all his money on drinking forT... to suffer so much for this kind of girl.., Ktook it really hard. He felt that he had been the fool all along.. to trust f ,inenshe said there would be no future guys.., what a joke it was to K... he hadbelieved T.. he felt so cheated, He felt like he was the biggest biggest emotionalfreak on earth.

That night he didn't sleep. He called a friend,,. and talked till he was so tired tillhe slept,.. for 2 hrs.... The next day... K had duty to do... and heaven laughed athim that day.. he stood in the rain for 4 hours.. not by choice... but K had nofeeling.. K was emotionless... he msged r,. ' if u have another guy, please tellme the truth, do not avoid" but still there was no reply. T didn't care'a damnabout how K felt, she couldn't care less anymore. The skies cried just like K wascrying in his heart.

Never had someone seen K looked like that before.. he looked like a zombie. Adead zombie... standing in the rain. It was such a terrible day that thinking aboutit makes K very bitter,.. And to add it all,, T didn't care about what K was ieelingright now,... she didn't bother to reply.... But have anyone wondered why Kbothered to ask T? it was because he loved T still..

Love means hope.. K didn't sleep last night... he thought... is T really this kind ofgirl as everyl said? Is T that bad? No.. he gave it a lot of thought... as that verymoment when K's friend told him the news... he thought everything in a flash...but he cooled himself down after talking to his friend.. and asked hTmself..,'Is T

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really like that? " K knew that T was not like that... In his heart.. T was the bestgirl that he ever had... T said before that she is going to be the best gf that Kever had..' and she had did it., K didn't show his trust to T last time.. but thistime"' he trusted her... but couldn't show it. It was reality and the cruel tradgedyof life.

So what K needed to do is to meetT and find out all the truth.... Tdidn't reply..But K called her house..,. And told her brother... to ask Tto call him... to clea'r upthe mess.... And so... T called K..... K said," Are u with someone else atreaayzAnd T replied... No...Someone is chasing me but we are not together" she lied toK"' till today.. K still doenst know why did she lie to him... does that mean that Thad lied to him before? T had said " I had never ever lied to you.." but if she liedthat time... does that mean that whateer she said cannot be trusted anymore??But K trusted his own instincts this time.,. he didn't believe T.. when he talked toT" he had so much to say to T.. but at that moment.. after so long of not talkingto T.., he was so happy to hear her voice again... he was speechless... he cantsay anything that he wanted to say for so many times he wanted to.., all hecouldwas keep quiet... finally.. after a long silence, he said,. can I call u later? I don'tknow what to say.... And T said.. " ok "

That day.. K was revived... he felt life breathing into him when he heard Tsvoice.. K was so dejected. when he heard ls voice, it seemed that it was thebest medicine for his wound. How much weight had he lost since T left him, atthat moment, he felt that he had eaten the most fulfiling meal..K had not beensleeping well every night.. but when he heard T's voice, it was like a potion thathealed his every wound and tiredness.., temporarily... every ounce of K'sstrength depended on T's love... This could be rather lame., but is very true. Kseemed to have lost himself when he lost T.he knew he had to talk to her andhave a heart to heart talk.. which he didn't ask for since the day they broke up....so when K reached home.. he called t.. he asked r,., "please,. can I meet utoday.. I really want to have a good talk with u for the last time...', But r keptrefusing K.,. she didn't want to have any more to do with K... she had given upon him.... But K still loves T.. K cant give T up.. he knows T is meant for him,..Maybe T may not feel that she is meant for K.. but certainly K felt that T wasmeant for him..,

it was that simple, if a person is the one u love, never give up.. That was K'slogic. So no matter how T rejected K.. K still wanted to meet her. At that time...K asked T,.. " please tell me the truth, do not lie to me anymore.. if u haveanother guy now.. just tell me.." and so T confessed. she said "yes I haveanother guy now, but it has nothing to do with our breakup,', K, although knew italready, but the feeling is different when he heard it with his very own ears andfrom T's very own lips. K was shatterred... he asked.. " didn't u say the othertime that there would be no future guys??" And r replied.. ,'yes I said so at thattime, but everything just happened.." she sounded so cold and unfeeling whenshe said those words. It was really hurtful for K, but still he persisted. H; asked "why? why did u lie to me when I asked u just now? why?" T replied " because Ifeel that you didn't need to know...he wasn't a third party.,," K was sad, andhurt. But he didn't put down the phone.. he asked ...can I go and talk to utonight? T kept saying no.,. K was in tears by that time.. but still he persevered...and put down the phone after a chat which left T agitated...

T was so cold towards K., it was no longer the T that K knew... but K didn't wantto give up just like that., he loved T... and he didn't know thatT had suffered somuch still at that point of time. Hethought that r might have been sad.. butdefinitely he is taking it even harder, he knows it., The person who took it harderis usually the one who still feels that there is a hope in the relationship,., T didn't

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feel that there was any more hope for the relationship and so she went intoanother one.

K went to buy T's favourite sweets.... But this time K didn't just buy the sweets..,he bought a few packs, took out all the sweets.. and took only the pink oneswhich were T's favourite.. and put them into a pack,.. Although this is only asmall gesture, K only wanted T to feel at least a little happier when she eatsthem.. K brought himself to T's block.. and called her...

On the way there, K kept thinking., " am I a fool? Why am I stll going afterher?Why cant I forget her? Why? Why? Why? Didn't she like someone else already?What am I doing? Why am I still taking this train to go to her place to look forher?" On the way there, it seemed like eternity... K was afraid that T wouldn'tmeet him....but he went... he went... dressed in the clothes that T first saw himin...

When K reached t's block... he called her.. and said that he was waitingdownstairs...T cam down to talk to K.. K remembers every word that T said....Every thing that T said.. on that day... when K saw T... he could not recognizeT... I don't meant thatT changed her appearance or anything.. K could not"recognize" the T that was like before... This T... had a different aura... It couldsound funny.. but its true. T was no longer the same T.. she seemed to be.. cold'K walked T to a bench where they had spent many times talking before... when K

hadnt enlist, K would always sit at those benches to chat with T till it was time forher to go.home.. The memories they had chatting., Hugging.. and kissin on thebench. But this time.. they were no longer going to do any of that... they were nolonger together,

K remembered the first time he sat on that bench... T was so reluctant to go

home... they talked and talked.. and each time T wanted to leave, neither couldbear to do so.. That was the feeling that the old T could give K.. but this T.. shegave K the feeling that "please get it over with, I dun have time foryou." She gave K that feeling... But K started... to ask why did T jump intoanother relationship so fast,.. K started to tell T how much he had went throughbelieving in the wrong thing...

K asked T,.," why didn't u have a heart to heart talk with me? Why didn't ubother to do so? If u still love me u should have done So... " and T replied. " Itried to get it across to u many times that I am hurt but I still love you.. it wasyou who rejected me so many times..."

K was at a loss for words... All along he thought that it was T who wanted toleave him.,, K asked.. " I thought thatt u didn't want to commit anddidn't wantme anymore... I thought that u wanted to concentrate on your studies... butwhen I heard that u are with another guy now, I can't help but feel cheated...Why did u do this to me?"

T said " when I told u that, I really meant what I said'. but things justhappened... I don't know if I am serious or whether he is just there at the correcttime, but I am with him now," K replied. " why are u with him? Do u really love

him? Is he the one that u really like?" T couldn't find an answer... T could onlySay.. " I don't know what to say and what I like about him.. maybe I cannotrememeber at this point of time.."

K asked T.. " Do u know how hard I took it when I found out that u are withanother guy? It was so hard to take it... i tried to tell myslef to be strong and

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forget it.. but cant.. why? Because I love you.,, I didn't know that u wanted tofind someone else.. I thought u will only concentrate on your studies.,, but u liedto me,,,"

T said,, " I wanted to concentrate on my studies.. and I am doing that now..." Kasked. " why is everything like that? Do u know what I thought? I thought that udon't want me anymore.. that was why i didn't try to salvage our relationship.. Ithought u wanted to be single.,,. "

K thought about the times when T said., " since I met you, I don't want to besingle anymore.." but now.. K could only hear.." Its better for us to be friends..."K was shattered... he was in tears for the whole time he was talking to T. Ksaid.," if I had knew that it was me who had hurt you so much, I would havecome n looked for u sooner.., I never knew that it was my hurtful words thatcaused u to become so cold... I love u dear... U will always be my dear.,. Withtears, K said the words in his heart... for the first time.,., He no longer used hismouth to speak from that day onwards,..

t was on the verge of tears,. but she didn't cry...

she said.. " why did u tell me this only now? Its too late.. K., its too late... If uhad come sooner and told me all these, things would have been different... I hadwaited for u for a long time.. since the day I broke up.. no i mean u broke upwith me, I have been waiting for u to do this,.. but when I said I loved u and udidn't believe me the other time, I was hurt once more... U werestill so defiant that it was my fault... U were so accusing, and u didn't believe aword I say...from that time on.. I decided.. to put away the photo in my wallet..I decided to treat everything between us as a memory.. that is only a memory tome now.. Its too late.,K.. Its too late.."

K asked T a question.." do u really love him and want to be with him? Do u knowthat I have not stopped loving u since that day? I love u.... I know he may likeyou... but I am the one that loves u . even if he loves you... I am the one thatloves u more.., No one loves u more than I do except your parents.., I am sure ofthat, now I can safely say it.."

K spoke from his heart again... he truly loved T,. Only when T left him did herealised how much T meant to him, But T said." Its too late k,. u came too late,. Iam with someone else now.. and I dun wish to hurt someone else because ofyou..." but K said.. " no,. its never too late T.,, K asked T... can u tell me that uhave no more feelings for me? Tell me that... tell me that u have no morefeelings for me in my eyes.. and I will give up..I will stop bothering you..."

But r couldn't do it.. T didn't look at K's eyes for even a second.. K remembersthe T that he saw,.. it was so heartbreaking.. T was looking so sad.. so hurt,.. sopitiful.. and it was K who had caused her to bevome like that.. T looked so weak..so shattered.. cold and emotionless... And it was all K who did it,... K was the onethat had made T became like that...and the worst part of it was... K didn't know,..till that day.. T could not do it... T could not tell K that she didn't have anymorefeelings for him..

K told T,. I will let u feel that i have changed.. I have really changed for you T,..No longer will I treat u like that... Let me tell you, human is like that.. they willnever change till something happens to them... and it is because of you, that Ihave changed. It is because of my love for u that made me change,I know itshard for you to believe me now.. but let me prove it to you that I have changed...the next gf that I have.., is going to be the luckiest girl on earth.. I will no longer

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get angry with her,.. no longer get jealous. No longer take her for granted.,. "

rememberthe phrase that defines love? Love is patient love is kind. It does notenvy does not brag, it is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self seeking, it is noteasily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil butrejoices with the truth.. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes,always persevere.Love never fails...

And K can now safely say that he LoVES T.. K continued.,. he said" but it isbecause of you that I have changed... my love for you made me change thistime.. I am sure of it.." And r said with wet eyes.. " maybe the next girl for youwill be really lucky..." But K said.." no., but there is no one that I want to be withme ...except for you... U will be the only one for me... so there will be no next girl"' U have caused me to change.. and I want you To feel the happiness that I cangive you..." but r said.. " its too late., I am with someone else now..." K said " IKnow u are with someone else now.,. he cares,. he is concerned., he give usupport.. I can do all that too... I know that... and on top of that... I love u morethan him..."

K knows that all these he is saying is useless to win T back... What K wanted isjust to let T know that he can do the same too... he wants to let T knows that hislove for her is really great enough for her to trust him one more time,.

But it is not easy for T to believe K again... T said.. "its too late,. why haven't ucome sooner? I might have risked everything again for the last time.. but now..its too late,. I have told myself to forget about you..."T was really hard hearted toK already... K cried in front of T.. the first time he had ever cried till so badly... infront of a girl.. but it was not any girl.. It was T.. K cried so bad....

He told r " I have never cherished you before.. and it was because pple don'tcherish what they have easily.. they only cherish something when they have lostit...But I m no longer the K that u knew.. I have change totally because ofyou...Please give me another chance, T.." Butr said " I don't know what thefuture holds for me, I might end up with him ,I might not. I cant say anything,but I cant give u chances, or it will be unfair to him.."

But T had never thought that if the guy had wanted to come in at this time... hehimself should be prepared for K to still go after T..,chasing T after a break upmight be easier... but there are the cons too.. but r didn't know that... K , wasburning within him, not because he was angry with T this time... he hadchanged.' this time.. he was angry at himself for letting someone else come intothe picture., if he had treated T well.. if he didn't neglect her, if he didn't enlist, ifhe didn't bought his computer, If if if if if... such a situation would not havehappened... he cuold only hate himself..

But K said.. " but r, I am the one that loves u most ,.. cant u give me one morechance on account of my love for u? Everyone of my friends told me to give uup.. they say u are not worth it... but in my heart... u are worth my everything...please give me one more chance..."

T was silent for a min.., before she said again... " I cant predict the future.. Idon't know.. but now.. I just want my life to go on... "

K knew that if he begged for T to give him another chance, nothing would comeout of it., so he decided to not force T anymore,,. he said.." T, take it that the oldK has died... the new K , which is me, is totally changed... and changed for you,the one he love most., can't u take it that it is a new person coming after u? If u

f..

I

cant... can u promise not to reject my calls or ignore my sms? Just try to replysometimes.. I would be more than happy..."

T said." ok.. if I pick up your call for the first time.. I wont reject it anymore.." Kwas crying badly by now... and he asked for a hug with T.... T gave K a quickhug..,and was very quick to withdraw... she gave K the feeling that she wasreally scared of him.., it was so fast.. but K could remember the times when theyused to hug tightly together for a long time... but this time, it was merely afriendly hug.. If K could hug T for one more time in his life.. he would rather failhis exams.. just like T would rather fail than leave K previously...

This tragic love story is an extreme case.,.. Before, T would do anything for K...and now.. K would do anything for T,.,. After the chat... K passed the sweetswhich he had prepared for T... and T took them... and left....

K was stuck there for a while.. watching T leave.. to watch T leave sap K of all hisenergy... Every step T took away from K, K could feel his life draining away..,finally, T was not in sight anymore... K had no more energy.. he sat there.,. anddidn't know what to do,., all that have happened seemed like yesterday.., Hishead was in a flurry of thoughts. But as he sat there.. he kept thinking.., how tomake T realise that he had changed.... So from that moment on.. he toldhimself.. " I am going to do everything I can to show T that I truly love her, andthat I have changed... no longer am I the immature freak that I was..."

K wanted to wait below T's block so that he could accompany T to school the nextday... So K called T and asked her what time was her lessons tml.... And T said10 plus.. K said... ok.. let me wait downstairs so that I can accompany u toschool tml... But T didn't want that. T told K to go home... T told K that if he didthat, he would only be forcing himself on her.. an she didn't want to feel that wayabout K...K said.. " if u want me to go..i will go..." and K went home... Kmessaged r a lot of times that night... telling her how much he had changed,.and how much he loves her.. but T was immune to everythinga lready.. T's heartno longer bear emotions... her emotions were suppressed by the very soul ofherself. But K knew it was all because of him that she had become like that....The sight of T last night is enough to make K sad forever. That was a T thatseemed so lost, so disillusioned, so hurt and so lifeless.. If it was because of Kthat r become like that... K was a sinner... K made up his mind.,. to try to get Tback...

The next day, K didn't book in, he took leave... early morning he woke up... andstarted to write a postcard to T,.. he wrote a short postcard,,. telling her what ishe doing now and thinking of.... An extract would be.. " just woke up... and startto write this thing to you... am going to the bubble tea stall later.. I don't mindtaking leave and bringing it to u ... its worth it." And K set out to the bubble teashop where they had spent happy times together.., when he reached there... thestall wasn't opened yet..,so K wrote another postcard to T... saying.. " I am atthe stall now... hope that u like the drink.,."

After K bought it,.. he decided to call T., the time was close to ten... T said thatshe needed to go to school at ten plus,... But when K called r., T had alreadywent out.,.. T was already in school with her bf...K said.. " I wanted to give usomething this morning...didn't utell me that u are going out at ten plus?" T said.." ya, but I decided to go out earlier.. go to school earlier... " K was so sad,.. hehad already bought the bubble tea forT.., so he said.. " can I bring somethingand pass it to you in your school?" This time,. T sounded harsh to K., she said., "NO, what am I going to do when he sees it? U are not making me any happier uknow."

And K realised one thing... the moment T had another guy... it would be 10 timesharder to make T realise that he had changed.,, and so,, dejectedly., K put downthe phone....but before he did it... with his last ounce of energy.,. he said... " canI bring it to your house and leave it in ur letter box?" T didn't say anything more,.she simply said.. " up to u" and put down the phone.... K had the first setback...he became sad again. Waking up in earnest to do something for K,. and was putdown.. this was the first time he felt so lousy,.. and useless.. He was nothing. Ttreated him like dirt.., but K loved T.. he didn't mind being treated like Dirt thistime... If he took so long to appreciate T, why should T appreciate him with hisfirst effort?

And So K travelled all the way... and left the postcards insideT's letter box.., Buton his way there.. he wrote a third postcard.., which werent decorated or drawnor colored.., he was too depressed to decorate it. It only had one sentence.,.which wrote., " Although I didn't manage to see you... it is still worth it..."Sadly... K threw away the bubble tea...

At night.. K send a message to T.. he told her.. " no matter how busy u are,. Ihope u open ur letter box... I went to ur place just to put that in ur letter box... "

That after noon.. K was the saddest man on earth, He felt so lousy.. he couldn'tdo any other thing,. He met his friend.. from the same school as T.. and talked toher about everything... K felt like dying.. he didn't have any more strength... andthis friend, told K to give up... its not worth doing all these while she is treating ulike dirt now.. please wake up K.. she said... but K couldn't give up,,

He thought about how T and him were together last time.. he thought about howgreat that relationship was before he enlisted.. he thought about all thosetimes...He went to have lunch with his friend..,, And while eating.., suddenly K'sfriend told K that the guy is a rich guy,. and could provide for K... n have a cartoo.,., When K heard this,. he was shattered again... He thought.. and hethought... when he heard that,, he could not eat anymore... he had only eaten amouthful...

K's friend lied to him. She wanted him to give up.,. Seeing K in such agony hurtsher a lot.. Everyone who saw K during that time couldn't bear to see him sufferanymore.. The only person that could bear to see K suffer was T.,.,. But also, theonly person that would suffer for K was T too. K's friend lied.,. She wanted K toknow the sad reality that T is already with someone else..

K thought in his head.. " what a happy sight.., someone going to lecturestogether with T.. someone going for lunch with her everyday.. someone whocould be there and take care of her everyday... drive her home.,. going out afterschool.. provide for her needs as he was rich... pay her bills... etc etc..."

When K thought about all these.. he realised that he could not give T anything...All he had was his love.. and T didn't trust his love anymore... He thought... " if Twas happy with all these, then he would give up.., and wish them all the best..."He hoped thatTwas really happy with him... So K picked up his handphone.,,and msged T " I know he is rich and have a car... if all these are important to uand u really like him, and have no more feelings for me,. I will give up ..." T tooksome time to reply K,,. but when she replied... she said.. " He is not rich anddoesn't have a car,. I will love him.."

When K saw this sms... it was as if a thousand stones crumbled on him...While hewas crossing the road,. he didn't even look at whether there was any cars,..

luckily.. K's friend pulled him back., or he would have met with an accident attown... T hardened her heart.. to make K give up.. But not K... he would not giveup.,. and so he called T,.. he said., " Do u really not want to give me anotherchance?"

T replied,. " yes..dun force me..," K said. " Is he really that good? I don't know,but if he comes in at this time.. either he is only playing with you.. or he is justtaking his chances.., The people that gets the girls are pple like these.,,please donot be fooled... " K didn't know why he said this... he was in pain,, intense pain..When T heard this,. she was pissed.,. and put down the phone abruptly...,.

K took the mrt home... The train was so crowded, yet K felt so lonely... Everyoneseemed to revolve around K... he was getting smaller by the minute... He satthere motionless for the whole journey... thinking and thinking.... Never onemoment did he stop thinking or regretting.,.. K's friend had to meet a client...and so she left,... So K was all alone,.. alone in the whole wide world...

WithoutT., K had lost the most important thing he ever had.. That night.. K

called the friend who told him about the situation of army guys and their gfs inuni,...,. and talked... and asked for advice... She told K., " it is not that easy K.. uhave to show her that u have changed.... But even if u have changed, she mightnot believe u anymore... because u have hurt her before.,. "

K said.. ""i know I am wrong.,, but I know she still has feelings for me.... If shecould trust love again,.. nothing is impossible.., " but K's friend, who was such agreat analyser.. said.. " Even if she still loves u in her heart, she is alreadysuppressing it.. she doesn't want to come back to u for fear that she might sufferlike before.. .Even if one day the things u do manage to touch her... she may stillnot come back to you... because she might feel that the other guy would dobetter to take care of her.,, and even if one day the guy left her... she might stillnot come back to you... u have hurt her too much.,. eventually she might end upwith another guy....

Are u sure u really want to still not give up? Do u know what that means? Thatmeans .., if u give and give and give and give,. and in the end its all to no avail,can u take it? Can u take the pain? The hurt? And its not going to be a few weeksor 1 month.. It could take so long.,. It could take so long.. and are u sure u cando it? Its not easy K..,"

K was perplexed.. but he knew what he wanted to do.... He thought... poorT...she had become like that.. all because of him.. that look of T when he saw herkept flashing into his head... she had become such a freak.. and it was allbecause of him.. She had turned into a girl afraid to love... all because of him..and she, T, had given so much into the relationship but got nothing in return.,.If she can do it for so long.,. K could do it too.,. K loved T ... It was then did herealised how much he loved T.., T loved K, and so she could giveunconditionally... and now.. it was K's turn,.. it was K's turn to giveunconditionally,.. whether or not T is going to be moved., or touched..,

Another friend of K sent him an sms.., she said,, " don't give up. If last time shecan wait so long for u, hoping that u would learn to appreciate, then now its timefor you to wait for her.." This message, although simple.,, is what had kept Kgoing ,,.. Till now...And so K replied.. " I will... I will'touch her one day.. nomatter how long it takes,,.. "

One morning..K woke up... he woke up very early.. in tears... and started towrite a letter to T... K said many things in the letter... all about how he felt..,,

Hew he took it'. how he got past that horrid time.. but K made it very clear to T...he said that he would wait for her no matter what it takes... And with that... Kkept the letter and put it into a present wrapper that r had given him.., K was asentimental guy..he keeps all of T's presents wrappers in a paper bag...so hetook one of it.. and wrapped the ugly looking piece of paper.... Althor-igh it was anugly piece of paper.,. It was the foolscap pad that r had bought for him .. fromher school.. It was the last gift that T had bought for K besides the mouse... itwas the last meaningful gift.., K still remembers why T bought the paper for him..cos K said,. "I want your school foolscap pad.." and r bought a foolscap pad fromher school.,. a normal foolscap pad that courd be bought from any popularbookstore.... But T wrote... with her handwriting... the initials of her school onthe cover page of the foolscap pad... K would never use the foolscap padanymore,.. he would only use it .,. on T... he will never finish using it... hecouldn't bear to.... K brought the piece of paper and wanted to give it to T thatnight.... That day.. K thought what could he do to let r know how he feels... sohe thought and thought...

K remembered a song.. which he and K loved very much when they just fallen inlove... the song title was "everytime"... K was a good singer... so he decided.. tosing the song for T that night.... K and T had never went to a karaoke before....And since the day K and r broke up.,,K visited the karaoke at least 3 times aweek... to sing ....

This is what life means... when u have a chance to do it.,, u don't.. and when uhave lost the chance, u no longer have the chance to do it anymore.,.. So K wentto find out the lyrics ... as he found out,. he typed it into a document..... thelyrics were so meaningful for K... K chose this song to sing to her.. because of thelyrics....

It goes like this...

Everytime

Lately i'm not who i used to beSomeone's come and taken mewhere i dont wanna goIf i knew.. exactly what i have to doin order to be there for uwhen u are feeling low

And all the things we ever wantedwere once yours and mineNow, i know we can revive itall the love we left

Everytime i kiss i feel ur lipsEverytime i cry i c ur smileEverytime i close my eyes i realise thatEverytime i hold ur hand in mineThe sweetest thing my heart could ever findAnd i have never felt this waySince the day i gave ur love away

Save me, i fallen from my destinyU and i were meant to be i've thrown it all awayNow u are goneIt's time for me to carry on

But baby i just cant go onWithout u by my side

We can survive itAll the pain we feel insideU relied on me and now i've let u downNow,ipromiseuforeverI will be the best i canNow i know we can revive it all the love we left

K went to look forT.,... while going to look forT., he felt really terrible.... He wasso afraid that T wouldn't meet him... He thought to himself.. what should I do if Tdoesn't want to meet me? Wait below her block? Wait till the next morning? Kprayed and prayed...why was he doing that? He asked himself... If T didn't wantto see him then he would have to leave it to the letterbox again.... he called Twhen he was at the mrt station... butr said she would call him back,..

So K began to walk the 15 mins walk..... halfway thru walking, T called... K said.." can u come down to meet me now?" But r said.. " no I cant,. its too late atnight for me to go out..." but the time was only ten... so K asked.. " please, Icome all the way to pass something to you... please meet me for a while k? 5mins is all it takes..." But r was determined not to meet K... T said.," no...don'tmake me feel like u are pestering me..." but K said,.. " if u r not going to meetme,.. I will wait downstairs for you.,. no matter how long u take.. I will wait,. " Tsaid.. " like that, u are forcing me again.,. " but K said,, " no., I am not forcing u,.if u dun wish to come down.. don't come down,.. " and T said,. " fine, u can waitfor all u want, let me tell you, I will not come down to meet you., u will only bewasting ur efforts... I am goin to bath now.. bye.. "

K didn't know what kept him going.. he just walked and walked .., every step hetook drained his life away from him., it was depressing to know that T would say.." no matter how long u wait,. I will never come down... " it struck him hard... butnot hard enough for him to turn back, Never in his life had K become so madbefore... he never never written love letters.. he had never do things like bringingthings to a girl like that before... he had never waited for anyone below herhouse... he had never did such things to a girl... but now, he is doing it.. K's lovemade him change.. When K reached T's block., he didn't know what to do again.,.He knew that r would never come down to meet him... and so he sat there.,. hewaited... he waited... but he didn't know what was he waiting for, he was notwaiting forT.. he was waiting for nothing. Tdidn't care that he was there., heknew it.... But still he sat there like a fool,...

After aboutT/2 an hour... K decided to call the girl whom had analysedeverything so well for him... he asked her.. " how? what am I going to do now?she wont come down,... " The girl said.. how did she sound when he said shewont come down?? K said.. " she sounded very stern,, and harsh.,. " then the girlsaid... " ok,.. she will not come down, dun bother to wait... just go put the stuff inher letter box.. and leave... or u could go up her house and leave it at the door..and wait for her to open then talk to her..,"

K decided that this is what he is going to do .., and so he left the stuff outside thedoor and stood there n waited for T. he wanted to sing the song for T too., that iswhy he wanted to meet her..., K sent r an sms.., " I left it at your door.. " And soK waited... he waited n waited.,. when he waited, he thought about the times hewas at T's house... there was once when K went to her house ... when her cousinwas in... and T let K sleep on the floor as he was tired... there was once when Kwent to her house for a meal cooked by T's sister in law.... It was a salty beef

steak.... Those were the times when he felt like staying over at Ts house....During exactly the same time last year, K had went to T's house for chinese newyear too.... T's mom cooked lots of nice food for them... and gave K a redpacket"' which was exactly the same amount as whatT received from K's dad...,It all flashed in K's mind....

But suddenly... K realised that those were only past images, the present was theexact opposite... K kept looking downwards at the area below ... he looked andhe looked.. he thought at that time... if T didn't bother to come to the door.., whydon't he just jump down and die? But that was just a stupid comtemplation. Kwould not do that., if he did that.. it wasn't dying for love.. it was dying forstupidity.., if he died, he will never get T back ....

so K waited., and waited. He waited for T to open the door,. he knew shewouldn't expect him sitting outside.... so when T opened the door, she wasshocked.. T was wearing a dark colored nightee.. the type that she always wore..and T had a pimple on her face... K remembered everything about r.. but theyhad broken up. when T saw k.. she said.. " please don't do this... my parents areat home.. " But K replied.. I am here only because I wanna sing u a song...please... Just as K was about to start, T said.." no..please don't sing... myparents are at home.. " K said... ok... I don't sing... but can u call me so that Ican sing to u?

And T replied.. ok....

K waited for what seemed like eternity.. he waited for T to call her.. he didn'tknow how long that was.. but it seemed a very very long time..before T called..and when T called.. K was silent. He couldn't start singing right away... he wasvery emotional at that time.. when he sung., he had tears in his eyes., but he stillsang.. he sang from the first word to the last... and when he finished,,. he putdown the phone... without saying bye... Just as he was picking himself up toleave... he received an sms.. which said.. " thankx, you can go home now.." andthat was it,. that was all T said,.. T also said.. " please don't sit outside my door,,go home... "

For all the time that K was looking forT, T kept asking him to go home... K didn'tknow what that mean then... now he knows.. T didn't want K to do all these forher, she thinks its all too late... But no, nothing is too late,, K knew T too well..she was not a hard hearted girl,. she was a nice girl who had to protect herself asshe was hurt.. T said before.. " I know u only too well.. if I had gone back to uwhen we just broke up, u will never have changed.."

But K had something to say too... it is.. " Happiness is not that difficult toachieve.., if u can trust love once again " ... K took his leave,.. and went home...

Although K did all these, it was just as what the girl expected, it is not goin tohave any effect on T... K knew it ... but he did it... just like T did last time.. it wasnot returned... T kept telling K that she knows how it feel to give and be hurt...and she doesn't want to hurt the other guy... but K knows how it feels too-believe me. K knows how it feels ,,. now.

The feeling is simply heartbreaking... now he finally realises it. He had become astronger person... at the expense of T's wounded heart. K knows.. in t's heart, he

r

is still there... but T would not give K another chance... for fear that she will gethurt another time.. but only if she knew ... if only she had a magic mirror to seewhat was K like, how he dealt with things, how he talk to ppl now, how he carrieshimself, how he changed, she will know,.. she will trust him once more...

Every single night,. K sent T sms... good night sms... each single day., K wouldwait till it was night., before sending her an sms.." To show that he is still therewaiting... From then on.. K changed his Mp3 playlist. No longer was it trance andtechno... it had only a few songs.,, songs that describe his feelings.... And one ofit is.. " right here waiting.. " he will be right here waiting for her no matter howlong it takes... " K changed his Icq nick too... he changed it to rightherewaiting...,He hopes one day, one fine day, T would call him.. and say... lets be togetheronce more.,. he knows his destiny with T had not ended yet...,

But as time goes past... K slowly began to nurture the pain... each day, he livesto type this story,. each night, he lives to send T one sms... each second is livedon to know that there is still T living,... K doenst know how much he love T, hejust know it by his actions... Never had he had such actions before... It was likeas if he was living for her... but what aboutT? T had become someone who keepsstudying.., K talked to a mutual friend of them... from there.. he learnt that T hadbecome someone who concentrates so much on her studies.....

So one day... K msged T... K said.. " If u can change till u are someone whokeeps studying, It is also possible that I have changed..." butT replied.,. " I havenot changed.. I only placed my priorities right..." Each single day passed.. andeach time K hoped that T will msg him at least a good night... Every time Kreached home., the first thing he would do is to send T emails ... emails thatdoenst demand but show that he cared.., Everytime K is missing T, he wouldwrite down on a piece of postcard....

There was one postcard tht he had given T... it is something like that.. " I can seethat u are happy now.. I can picture u going to lectures with him.. I can picture ugoing out with him ,,. it is really a happy picture... I cant give u anything now, soI just hope for you to be happy... but please remember... that I will always beright here waiting for you.. u will always be the one I love most... and the wordsXX, XX, are the words that mean everything to me...." XX is T's name...."

There was once when K's good friends talked with T,.. they found out abouteverything,.. for K... when they asked T whether she still had feelings for K... Toften said evasive replies... like I don't know what the future holds... and replieslike.. take it that I don't.., but deep inside.,. K feels it.. K feels that T still loveshim.. whenever K talks to T.. he can sense it.. he can sense the feelings that T isforever trying to suppress.. this hurts him a lot... The T that he knew neversuppressed her feelings.. from the first day that he knew her, he knew she wouldnever do such a thing... from everyone , K knows.. K knows that T is unable toforget the hurt that he had caused.. .the hurt that T had gone through had built abarrier around her... Not daring to love again..,

T herself said.. " I also don't know why I became like that.. I became someonewho is afraid to love,I never liked to study.. but now what am I doing? I amimmersing myself in my books and projects, trying to numb myself.. studying isso horrid, I don't like it at all.. but I would rather study that remember the hurtthat u have caused me.,"

K remembered every word thatT said.. K knows how hard it is on her.. and heloves her dearly and wants to change that.. If T would give K another chance, shewould know how easy it is to ease the pain.. and relieve the hurt. The more T

rI

I

tried to suppress her feelings.. the more horrid she would feel.. she will neverfind real happiness. K knows it.. K knows what T is suffering emotionally.. shemay not show it.. but she is not truly happy... she always say that she is happynow.. but K knows.. K knows when she is all alone and lonely and doenst haveanything to keep her occupied , her sadness flows in again.. If K could take thepain from her and live it himself.. he would do it..,.

On the 3rd of february,2O02, K called T in the morning... he asked T... whthershe would accept his valentine's day gift.,.,. And Tsaid . I will accept it.. like anynormal friend who gave me.. And K asked.. " then can I meet u on that day topass u the present?" and T said.. " I have school on that day.. I don't know, I willtry to see whether I can meet you ... as a friend." T specified as a friend... but K

was more than happy..." Hearing T's voice was more than enough... he hadchanged totally,.. They chatted... and K was tearin in his eyes again.. K wasnever such a crybaby, but whenever his emotions is evoked when talking with T,he will tear... he had become such a freak...

K said., " I don't know if it sounds lame to you.. but if one day u will die unless Idie, I would do it... " and guess whatT said? T said.. " and I would rather diethan live through the hurt again,.. It is too terrible., too horrid... I cant evenremember anything happy about us,. the hurt covered it all.., " when K heardthis.. tears flowed down his eyes... He knows how hard it was forTto take... hewould never cause another pain to someone he loved so dearly again...

If time could be turned back, K would rather suffer himself than make T suffer...he said.. " U were L/2the reason why I live on... so when u have left me, it wasas though I had lost my other half.. I couldn't go on anymore.. I really wish thatwe could turn back time, and things could be changed totally..." but K knows, ifhe hadnt gone through all these, he would not have learnt... he wouldn't havechanged.. now he has.. and its only because he is made to go through the loss ofT...but K was happy that T is willin to accept his present..

KaskedTaquestion,.."DoubelievethatItrulyloveU?"andTreplied.,"Yes.,."K can sense the suppressed love T still bears for hlm... he knows it., but everysecond, every min, the hurt had covered it all up,,. after they put down thephone., K msged t.. " I hope we can go back to the times where I hadntenlisted... we were so happy then... " T replied.. " if only u had not enlist, thingsmight have been different..." K didn't know what she meant to this day.... But nomatter what she means/ K will still be right there waiting for T...

Everyday K was sad.. but in his heart, there is still T who kept him going.. Everysecond, every minute, K goes on forT.. many a time.. he thought about what canhe do to show that he truly loved T,... and he began to type this story... day andnight. Each part of this story took tears and pain to write... Each part of it leftmany emotions stirring within him....

The next day... K reached home... and received a message from t... it said... " Iam sorry I cant accept your present " It shook K. K could not do anything else..he stopped doing whatever he was doing and was stunned... He couldn't thinkstraight. The only thing he could do is to call T... and they talked.,. K asked.. "canu tell me why u cant accept my present?" T replied.. " I asked him, and he saidhe would not be too happy about it... I can understand how he feels.. how jealousand sad he would be, so I chose to respect him and not accept your present.."

K felt that pain go through him,. he felt it hard. lust because of a single sentencehe said.. K's efforts for many weeks are all wasted.., Is this fair, K asked in hishead.,. but K said.. " why? Please don't do that, I have spent a lot of effort into

making it foryou... " butT said.. " I can fully understand how u feel, I know u putin effort, but if u want me to be happy, u shouldn't make my life difficult...,'thatwas what r said.. and K , felt an intense pain deep within... He said, " justbecause I have hurt you, u didn't want to take my present.. just becaule I havehurt you, its ok to waste all my efforts from doin it.. Just because I have hurtyou/ u have all the reason in this world to hurt me back...,'when K said this, hewas just saying what he felt... butr said something that put him down evenmore...

T said.. " so u are still like before, tinking that I am hurting you cos u have hurtme?" this sentence hurts K so much.. T sees him as such a person...why would kever think that way? It was the most insulting thing that T coutd have said to K...Up till that moment T still couldn't see how much K was suffering when he saidthat... But K beared with it.. he said.. " no, I don't mean that.. I meant that all Iask for is for u to accept the present which I had put in so much efforts in... uhave a right to hurt me, yes you do, cos I have hurt u before, and I knowwhatever I say is useless, so I just hope that u will accept my present just likesomeone who likes you,,

butrsaid.. " no... I can't.. I can't make him sad, I am with him, I should makehim happy.. If I am Very enthusiastic about getting your present, I wont carewhat he said.., but the fact is.. I am not .."

This put K down again.,. but he realised he is just a piece of dirt to T now...Tsaid., " please don't waste anymore time on me.. at the end of it, when its allfutile, u will feel like u are the silliest person on earth..." so K put down thephone... with a grief that no one knows except him... But he could take it.. Hecould take everything that T threw at him... because.. because he love T.. justlike T took them last time.., this is really a tradgedy... After putting down fhephone... he msged r.. " yes I am silly, but I have only been silly for a month,while u have been silly for 1.5 years."

T replied.. " maybe I was too harsh, but I still wont accept your present, stopwasting your time on me.. good night. ".., It was so clear cut, so cleanly putacross.....

K thinks about T all the time.. he thinks about how T is passing her life... how sheis feeling inside... deep inside.. K want so much to touch her inner feelings .. Kknows T is still the same T.. she is only suppressing her feelings and trying toimmune herself by studying.. no matter how long it takes.. T would neverlindreal happiness till the day the hurt is removed..,,but for K, he will never find realhappiness too,. till the day the hurt that he had caused,. is removed from T'sheart. K is still here., waiting for T.. he will love her.. cherish her and treat herwell.. all these are no longer empty., the only thing that is empty is K's life,without T.....

So when T read this story, all K hope... is forT to know.. who is the one that trulyloves her.. and trust love once more... it isnt that difficult to find realhappiness.... with someone u love... the path of true love never did ransmooth....

There is no ending to this story yet now.. it all depends on the only and only onewho deserves to end it.... Happily or sadly, and that is T..,, when T reads thispart, K knows in his heart, that his heartfelt words, had all come across to T.... It

is not easily fabricated... it took pains to piece all of this together... when T readsthis line, hopefully, she knows that K is still there waiting for her.... K hopes thatwhen T finished reading this story, she would just give him a call... not todemand for anythinE... just to hear.. what she would like to say to K...

The end

Ppl,

For those who want closure, at the time this story was being typed out by -=K=-, he said that what he written didn't get them back to-gether,

This was written two years ago, and for those who wonder about the peoplebehind the story, I think summing up with -=K=-'s words is the best.

Quote:

Originally posted by -=K--it was all real. but no matter anymore after so long.. so treat it as fake ?

I sincerely hope nobody goes to disturb him on, say, friendster with "Hey you'rethat guy who wrote the story in the mindef forum right?", or similar cases. Iwould be doing him an injustice, if my posting of this story leads to peopleopening up old wounds for him.

Whether they ultimately got back together, whether K moved on etc etc etc I donot know, and I don't think anybody who isn't a friend of his personally has aright to know.

One thing is for sure, his story touched me with it's simplicity when I first read itas a new forumner 2 years ago, and it still does today.

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