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A Resolution to make my home a welcome place to be.

Day 1

Living with Grace

Work days can be long and exhausting. Most of the time we feel as if we have nothing to show for all our efforts. We make due with what have have; every day striving to get a little bit more ahead. Ever had that moment when you switched the light switch and prayed that the light would turn on or the garbage would be picked up?!

We continue to do our household duties. Take care of the kids, do the laundry and search for something for dinner.

Imagine your lights were turned off; not because you didn't pay the bill.... but because you couldn't. How can you turn this dinner into something enjoyable?

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Following is a story of a woman who knew exactly what it is to be a woman living in grace in this situation.

A wife prepared dinner with care and dignity in the dim light of her kitchen. She set the table with candles which she lit to create an elaborate place setting. The scene was gorgeous. When her husband arrived, tired, and road weary, he found her and the children seated at the table, smiling and wanting to have dinner with him. Their home was full of peace and serenity despite the circumstances - circumstances the children didn’t even know about.

Neither did her husband.

Can you see the difference in what we would instinctually do to what this wife did? What would you do when your husband came home? Would you even call him at work and scold him?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I would expect them to talk it over after tucking the kids into bed, but look at what our wife in the story does.

He went straight from the table to collapse in bed, which also was lit with candles. She never said a word. It wasn't until the next day, when he arose to get ready for work that he realized there were no lights. Putting the mental pieces together, he realized what his wife had done - She’s preserved his dignity, how she’s opted for peace and beauty rather than friction and discord in response to the inconvenience.

As I read this I felt tears welling up... how humble of a wife she was. How selfless.

Could you pull this off? Is there anyway you could just sit there in candle light enjoying a dinner without letting him know he has failed yet again. “what are you going to do about this?” “ I told you this was going to happen.” ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By doing this selfless act, he was able to keep his dignity which is so important to a man. His kids didn’t see him as a failure and the wife did not treat him like one.

He walked to her, sweetly brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and whispered, “Thank you.” in her ear. He was so grateful to be sharing a life with a woman committed to being gracious, promoting peace, overlooking shortcomings, providing an environment in which her family could flourish, even when living in less than desirable circumstances.

What an intimate and precious moment that most have been for them. That is a picture of a woman living with grace. Whether you are married or single, your home is holy ground. And you are a holy attendant, bestowed with the responsibility and privilege of creating an atmosphere in which the essence of God’s grace can be felt and sensed through the grace you freely extend to others.

What are some ways we can achieve this in our homes? Do you think a house that is peaceful is possible with all that your life entails?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We as women hold the primary controls to the mood, spirit, and quality of life within our homes. It’s not about pretty pillows and scency candles. It’s about recognizing your power to change the spiritual climate of your home based on your Holy Spirit. Dispense grace whenever you can.

Grace: by definition is “Favor or kindness expressed to the undeserving.”

A Resolution to make my home a welcome place to be.

Day 2

Dispensers of Grace

When we, as recipients of God’s grace realize just how many bobbles and blunders off ours He lovingly forgives and forgets every single day of our lives, we suddenly find our motivation for extending that same undeserved favor to those around us.

His patience, His acceptance, His understanding, His kindness. By His grace, they become ours - not just to receive but to release.

On a scale from 1 to 10 (high) how are you on giving people grace? Give a specific example.

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When people in your home know you will not look down on them or lord their inadequacies over them, you will have given them a great gift.

Have you been the gift of grace in your past that has effected you today? Be specific. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A gift of being able to stay authentic, knowing they will be accepted just as they are.

Isn’t that the kind of freedom you want others to experience in their relationship with you; to be authentic and accepted?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Every problem, every issue, every possible disaster, every family member’s weakness and failure, every less than desirable circumstance - when viewed through the lens of grace - becomes a fresh opportunity for extending mercy and kindness.

Dispensers of grace are woman who resolve to put candles on the table instead of sulking in the dark. Who let the people in their home enjoy what they have instead of centering on what they don’t. Who welcome and celebrate authentic relationships.

What do you feel will be the primary challenge for you in extending grace in your home?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Make your home a safe place; a haven from this harsh world. Let serenity and peace cover anyone who enters you home. It’s revolutionary. Didn’t grace transform your life when Jesus gave it to you?

Grace overwhelms. What might grace accomplish when it comes gushing through your smile, your hug, your kiss, your tender pat on the back, your wink of forgiveness?

Think of at least one specific person you could shower with your grace; how can you be instrumental in their transformation with Christ?

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So take a personal inventory.

• Are you easy to be around?

• Do you make it natural for your loves ones to feel accepted?

• Do you jeep track of their mistakes and failures?

• When your family members do something with the intention of pleasing you. do they get to see a smile of gratitude brighten your face, or do you hardly even notice - wont give them the satisfaction?

• Do you hold others captive to your critical nature?

• Do you play the martyr because of all your required to do?

Or ...

Do you remember what Christ has done to cover every single solitary failure of your life, freeing you from the bondage that would have kept you forever unsettled and unable t live abundantly?

Do you eagerly express that same feeling of freedom to those in your home?

Give them a break

I know they don’t deserve it

But nether did you.

Grace came anyway.

A Resolution to make my home a welcome place to be.

Day 3

OK

We feel like our sentiments deserve the right to be heard, then understood, then agreed with and acted upon. And so we talk, and discuss, and quit listening, and run the other person down. Into the ground. Into submission.

Do you feel the need to always be right? Or do you deal with someone like this often?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

All because everyone wants to be right. But it wont be right. Not until someone is gracious enough to say OK. To finish it; once and for all. Not because their demands were met or their preferences catered to but because they prefer peace to madness.

One little OK makes the difference.

A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. (Proverb 15:1)

In order to protect and preserve relationships a wise woman chooses a soft, delicate, gentle response in place of one thats sharp and explosive, harmful, and wounding.

How do you think your friends would describe your need to be heard or validated by someone? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She is patient. She brings calm to the storm. And that is what makes her a picture of wisdom. And grace. Not a pushover. Not a doormat. She isn't caving or being run over. Neither is she cocky or arrogant with her OK dismissal. There is no air of sarcasm in her comment. No sinister smirk on her face. She’’s just strong. God produced enough courage in her to prefer the long-lasting sweetness of deference over the small, fleeting, unsatisfying victory of winning this momentary battle.

So she says OK. Not easily but purposefully, powerfully, poignantly. In the end she wins the greatest victory of all.

Prayerfully consider how you can apply the message of these verses in your life today.• “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit”. - Proverbs 15:4• “Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones.” Proverbs 25:15

Off Broadway

How many of us plan out a conversation, every person involved. What they will say and do and how you will reply. Just like a broadway production. Only problem is no one knows that it exists! The actors never signed up for this play. And now they are all enslaved by your expectations, held captive to the roles you wrote for them without their consent. They would like to be themselves, but you have it scripted.

Do you plan how the conversation should go? Do you feel you know what the people in your life think, feel or how they will respond?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We’ve all done this to some degree. We have unknowingly brought our expectations into this relationship, into this situation, into this arrangement of circumstances. Once we are honest without ourselves, it’s not so hard to see the damage our assumptions have caused.

In what ways in your household does your assumptions cause conflict?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So the woman resolved to live with grace, while not lowering her expectations, does intentionally recalibrate them. Rather than basing them on a fantasy delusion and forcing everyone else to fit in, she looks at her reality first and then shapes her expectations accordingly. She seeks to discern the true needs of her loved ones and then adapts her own view of things so that she can do what is best for them, nurturing an atmosphere in which they can genuinely flourish.

How hard is it to let that control go? We want authenticity more than scripted story lines so how can we change our expectations without lowering them but allowing our loved ones to be authentic?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Resolution to make my home a welcome place to be.Day 4

Sabbath Spaces

Imagine there is a snow storm and our power is out? To tv, no school, no errands to run the streets are closed. At these times do you get stricken with cabin fever, so bored and annoyed by your kids that you cant wait to get back to work?! Or do you think of these times as a delightful interruption to our otherwise overcrowded schedules; a gift that we have to stay home and enjoy the rest and relaxation?

Have we grown so accustomed to having no peace that we cant truly appreciate the beauty of it?

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Worse yet, what are we showing our next generation - that there’s nothing at all attractive about stillness, simple fun, and family time? The woman resolved to live with grace rebels against our cultures resistance to rest. She understands that peace can only be experienced in her home if she purposefully, finds some occasional time away from the hectic, demanding schedules.

“Be still and know I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Looking at your schedules from work, kids sports, and church activities; do you take that time to just be still?

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“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy”. Exodus 20:8

God was requiring His people to do something exactly opposite from what they’d grown used to do doing. Instead of endless working, they were to stop - to purposely carve out time to be still and enjoy Him. And although we are no longer subject to the Old testament law, this principle of Sabbath still carries vast impact for us.

We become slaves to busyness just as Israel were slaves to the Pharaoh.

We have grown so accustomed to constant activity that even when the opportunity arises to be still, we cant help but feel unsettled.

On the rare occasion that you find yourself with nothing on the calendar, what do you tend to do?

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What tends to take up most of your time? What have you become slave to?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So in order to protect ourselves from being controlled and enslaved by our chaos, we must become woman who intentionally create “Sabbath spaces” in our lives, that are left purposefully clean and clear so we can enjoy the liberty we’ve been granted by God Himself.

Now this does not mean just being home and you as a mom run around cleaning and barking orders. You know we all do that! This rest time is not meant for work. Letting your family just be and enjoy life is a real challenge for some people. Make is a discipline.

What could you do to help yourself and your family rest and enjoy each other?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Resolution to make my home a welcome place to be.Day 5

14 Challenge

Priscilla says to start with a “14 Challenge” Look at your calendar and block out 14 minute Sabbath space each day. Doesn’t sound like much, but you might be shocked at how difficult this may be for you to achieve and maintain. You may also be amazed at how much this block of time could rejuvenate you.

This goes for your kids as well. They do not need to be constantly entertained by technology. They can take 14 minutes and go read or play quietly in their rooms. You’ll be teaching them a valuable lesson.

What could you take a break from in your hectic life in order to do some of the more simple things that you never have time for; like visiting a relative, scrapbooking, or cleaning out your closet?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Beyond de-cluttering your schedule and mind we also need to plan time to tidy up your house. Take 14 inches of space that is out of control (like your closet) and clean it daily. Deliberately own that small section of your world until you’ve transformed it from piles of junk into peace and joy.

Where is the perfect place to start this 14 inches of cleaning for you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Only the woman living with grace and pursuing peace will prioritize enough to see the value in Sabbath spaces. Instead of being afraid of the silence or of what fall through the cracks, she guards and embraces her margins. She sees them for the gift they are.

So take a few minutes to look carefully at your time and space, then determine that claiming peace is more important than hanging on to all this stuff that is slowly, methodically claiming you. Let go and usher in an environment of peace for your home. It can be a place to be enjoyed, not burdened, not enslaved to.

A Sabbath place.

Living with Grace

I will cultivate a peaceful home where everyone can sense God’s presence not only through acts of love and service but also through the

pleasant and grateful attitude with which I perform them.

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