A Piratical Legacy Chapter 33 Part 3 - Love & Bureaucrats

Chapter 33 – Love & Bureaucrats Part 3

A Piratical Legacy Chapter 33: Love and Bureaucrats - Part 3

"Okay, so there's ground rules for living in the Greek House, right?" Liv said excitedly to her new housemate, Erroneus Marius. Liv would be graduating soon and Erroneus had graciously agreed to be the placeholder/caretaker for the Buccaneer family's Greek house until the youngest members of generation six, Borusa and Spandrell, were ready to head to college. "Ground rules?" Erroneus blinked. "Ching Shih didn't say anything about ground rules." "That's 'cause she was head of the house when she lived her, so she

made the rules, and she didn't have any," Liv explained. "Now I'm in charge, so I get to make the rules." "Well, let's hear them," Erroneus said warily. "Okay," Liv said, taking a deep breath. "Rule one: no dating roommates." "I can live with that," Erroneus said. "I have a girlfriend." "Ooh, good!" Liv said, clapping her hands. "Is she fun?"

"Well, I certainly think so," Erroneus shrugged. "Otherwise she wouldn't be my girlfriend. She's a simself, like my mom. And she has red hair, like my mom. ... oh lordy, that sounds really pathetic, doesn't it?" "A little," Liv agreed readily. "But that's okay. My mom's a simself too, and my brother married someone the exact opposite of mom. So everyone's different." Erroneus blinked. "O...kay." He felt a little dizzy trying to keep up with Liv's mental processes and strove valiantly to get the conversation back on track. "I think I can live with the first rule. Any others?" "You must have at least three dates per semester," Liv said solemnly. "This is a FUN house. No BORING people allowed." "Gin's in town for a few weeks, so I guess that's okay," Erroneus said after a moment's consideration.

"Cool, that means I get to meet her," Liv said. "I like meeting new people. I've always thought if I wasn't a Pleasure sim I'd want to be a Popularity sim." "Gee, you're a Pleasure sim?" Erroneus said dryly. "I would never have guessed." "Oh, hush," Liv laughed. "No teasing roommates. Unless it's mutual. I think I'm going to like living with you, Erroneus." "Yeah, I guess it won't be too bad," Erroneus said. "Um... that reminds me. Which room is mine?"

"Oh, take any of the ones upstairs," Liv said. "Except the master bedroom. That's reserved for the legacy heir unless somebody doesn't have a bedroom and there's no heir in the house. There are two other rooms upstairs each with two double beds. You can shove the extra bed into the room you don't use. There should be room for it." "You're in the bedroom next to the front door?" "Yeah, I liked that room best. But I totally had to fumigate it after Toby moved out. He takes 'stinky boy' to a whole new level."

"Well, I guess that about covers it," Erroneus said. "I should move stuff around and get settled in. See you in the morning, Liv." "Sleep tight!" the legacy girl said cheerfully. "Oh, and don't forget--we're hosting a back-to-school toga party next week. Figured I ought to warn you." "Ah, good. I can get mentally set for losing all my dignity." "Silly Erroneus. Simply by living on Pirate Island you lose all claim to dignity." "Touché."

The next morning, Liv decreed it to be "Date Day". She wasn't seeing anyone in particular at the moment, especially since most of her previous boyfriends had gone off and gotten married over the summer, so she called up her old friend the Gypsy Matchmaker. "And vat can I do for you, Miss Pseudo?" "Same old, same old," Liv shrugged. "It's date day today, Val, so I want to get through at least a couple. Looks don't matter as much as FUN. I don't do well with guys who don't like to have fun." "Vell, you pay me enuff money. I vill gif you good date," the Gypsy shrugged. "Thanks, Val," Shih grinned.

"This one, he named Robi," Valerie Tse added. "Romance sim, but they usually get on vell vith Pleasure girls such as yourself. I think you like him." "As long as he's not a stick-in-the-mud," Liv nodded. "Thanks, Val. Stick around... I'll probably want another date around seven or eight, unless this one goes exceptionally well."

"So, are you fun?" Liv demanded once the introductions were complete. "Uh, I guess so," Robi said, flashing a wide mouth full of immaculate teeth at Liv. "You seem a little pale." "Err... too much bubble blowing back at the dorm," Robi explained. "See, it was snowing out, and I kind of lost track of time..." "Well, not too smart," Liv said critically, though she made sure Robi couldn't hear her. Liv's a nice person like that. "But he does seem fun if he likes the bubble blower." And, sure enough, the rest of the date was 'fun' enough to live up to Liv's exacting standards. There wasn't really a romantic spark, so the fun was limited to endless pillow fights, but that was just fine and dandy in Liv's opinion.

Liv wasn't the only one taking advantage of "Date Day". Erroneus' girlfriend Gin (gintasticnecat, Science of a Legacy) was in town and dropped by around the same time Liv's date was getting started. "Mmphm!" "Yeah, good to see you too," Erroneus grinned.

As evening fell, the two of them headed downstairs to play a little pool and hang out. Plus, since Liv liked to hold her dates on the front lawn, it gave them a little privacy. "How do you like Greek life so far?" Gin asked. "I see you're not wearing a sheet. And here you promised!" "Gin!" Erroneus blushed, slightly scandalized. "Someone might hear you!" "You're not that Squeaky-Clean, Erroneus," Gin smirked. "Squeaky Clean enough to not want to scar my roommate," Erroneus said primly. "I don't think Liv would be scarred," Gin mused. "I think she'd probably laugh."

"Good point," Erroneus chuckled. "Well, no toga today. But I think Liv's throwing a toga party towards the end of the semester. Come by then and you can ogle me all you like." "Ooh," Gin grinned. "In fact," Erroneus added, taking her hand and leading her over to the couch. "I could give you a preview." "You beast! Not Squeaky Clean at all!"

Liv's date with Robi ended and while he wandered off to amuse himself with some of the Greek House's many toys, Liv called Valerie back over to order another date. This time she upped the price a little. "Oooh! You vill like this one!" the gypsy said, sounding impressed. "Vonder vhy he didn't show up earlier?" "That would be due to my undead condition," the vampire lord said smoothly, rising to his feet and shaking his head to clear the effects of the gypsy's teleportation magic.

"Ah," Valerie Tse nodded sagely. "That vould explain it. Does zis bother you?" she added, turning to Liv. "Not really," Liv said brightly. "I think vampirisim is one of my turn-ons. As long as he doesn't bite me." "I never bite without an invitation," the count said smoothly. "Count Randy Fuchs, at your service." "Really," Liv's eyes widened. Then she burst out laughing. "What?"

"I wonder what's so funny?" Gin asked Erroneus curiously, gazing out the front window. Liv was doubled over laughing, and her voice was loud enough it carried into the house. "Never mind that," Erroneus said, catching her by the hand. As soon as he was sure he had Gin's full attention he dropped to one knee. "Gin Science, we've been dating for a year and a half now and I'm pretty sure you're the one for me. Will you marry me?"

"Oi, that's a big rock," Gin blinked.

Then she slipped it on her finger and leaped into Erroneus' arms. "Of course I will!" "Mother will be so happy," Erroneus said. "And father. He's always glad to Meet Someone New." "He already knows me." "Yes, but he doesn't know all your roommates." "Good point." The two lovebirds scampered off to make important phone calls and start planning their wedding, though it wouldn't happen for another few years when Erroneus would finally graduate.

"You shouldn't have taken the cake," the greenish spirit said to Robi. "But it had buttercream frosting!" "The cowplant is going to eat you!" "BUTTERCREAM!" "Well, if you really think it's worth it..."

Liv, meanwhile, hadn't even noticed that Robi was making friends with the cowplant. She thought the thing was still safe, since nobody had drunk the previous victim. And in the meantime, she was having way too much with Count Randy, though she still giggled intermittently. Author's Note: Apparently installing a new expansion pack resets the cowplants. Oops?

"You're an idiot, Liv Pseudo!" the ghost of Trisha McCullogh said just as Liv finished making a particularly witty dirty joke about the count's name. "Gah!" "What is it?" the count asked, puzzled. He'd felt a brief chill, but he was undead so that was nothing unusual. "The ghost just scared me into crushing on you!"

"Ghost?" Randy asked. "We've got a resident. Likes to haunt the hot tub." "Ah," the count nodded. "Well, perhaps you can show me that later. In the meantime... care to dance?" And without waiting for a response he pulled Liv into his arms and started twirling her lightly around the lawn while fallen leaves crackled and swirled around their ankles.

"Wow... this date has been way fun, and in a way I totally wasn't expecting," Liv said, a trifle breathlessly. "For me as well," the count said in a sultry voice. "I was not expecting someone so... appetizing." Liv's heart thumped a little faster as she leaned forward. And was promptly impaled by Stabby Death Nose.

"Ouch!" she giggled, pulling back and rubbing that part of her face gingerly. "My apologies!" Count Randy said hastily. "Oh no, it's fine," Liv said, smiling shyly.

The next thing she knew, Randy's arms were around her and she was being kissed more soundly than she'd ever been kissed in her life--and she'd been kissed a lot. "Alas, the dawn approaches," the count said when they finally came up for air. "I must flee. But... will I see you again?" "I still need one more date this month if I'm going to follow my own house rules," Liv said unsteadily. "It would be my honour to help you meet that obligation," the count said softly. Leaning in, he dared another kiss. Then, with a flip of his cape, he turned into a bat and flew off into the night.

They didn't date again the next night, but when Liv got up in the morning there was a very expensive telescope sitting on the porch, along with a note. Delectable Liv, When I see you again, perhaps we can watch the stars together. Until then, study them with this. I look forward to our next assignation. -- Count R. Fuchs

Erroneus and Liv found each other to be agreeable roommates, though whether this was due to their personalities or whether it was due to their opposite class schedules, neither of them were certain. However, neither of them really enjoyed sharing Arravast House with the ghost of Robi. "Aaaah!"

"Hehehe," Liv giggled. "Robi getcha again?" "Yes!" Erroneus complained. "Aw, man... now I gotta go change. Gin will be over any minute!" "Don't forget to clean up your pee puddle!" Liv called after him as Erroneus stalked upstairs to shower. "Wouldn't dream of it," Erroneus muttered sourly. "Dude, a haunted house was not what I signed up for."

A few days later, Count Randy called again and he and Liv spent the entire evening cuddling under the stars in their winter coats. "There are so many stars in the sky," she breathed. "I wonder what life up there is like?" "More different than we could ever imagine, I expect," the count said. "Perhaps some day we shall visit them." "Oh, I doubt that," Liv said. "That kind of space exploration is way beyond what they'll achieve in my lifetime." "I could give you eternal life." Liv shivered. "The thought distresses you?"

"No," Liv said, shaking her head. "I'm just a little cold. It's nearly winter, in case you hadn't noticed." "Ah," the count said, smiling slightly. "Well, in that case... allow me to warm you up. I may be undead, but my blood runs hot enough in my veins." "Mm, that's nice," Liv sighed contentedly as Count Randy wrapped his arms around her. "Much better." They lay that way for a considerable time until Randy stirred regretfully. "It will be dawn in an hour," he said. "I must be on my way." "I'll walk you to the sidewalk," Liv said, getting up nimbly.

"Ooh! Leaves!" she grinned when they were standing out in front of the mailbox. With a glad cry she dove feet first into the pile. "Woohoo!" "That seems... untidy," the count said. "Nah," Liv grinned. "It's FUN! Why don't you try it?"

"I don't really have the time," the count said regretfully. "Though I would enjoy playing the leaves with you." An edge to his voice made Liv blush. "However," he added gallantly, "I can at least pile up a few more for you to have fun with after I leave."

As the dawn broke, Liv was still scampering through the fallen leaves. "I think I'm in love," she whispered to herself.

In what felt like no time at all, Liv's senior finals were over and it was time for her graduation party.

Of course she invited her family and all her closest friends, including Ching Shih. "Are you sure it's safe for you to travel right now?" she asked worriedly, reaching down to pat Shih's bulging belly. "You could pop anytime!" "Doc said it was okay," Shih shrugged. Then she smiled, though there was a sad edge to her smile that had never been there before. "Besides, I want to enjoy other peoples' happiness whenever I can."

They were still chatting outside when darkness fell. "Ooh, I guess I should go inside and mingle with everyone else before the party's over!" Liv said reluctantly; she'd been enjoying catching up with her cousin and her brother. "It wouldn't be FUN to miss out on all of them, I suppose." "I should think not," Shih chuckled

But of course the first person she wandered into inside was her brother Hugo. Who was stuffing his face with cookies. "Doesn't Lainey ever feed you?" she chortled. "She doesn't let me have much junk food," Hugo said defensively. "She says it will make me fat."

Liv just laughed and headed downstairs to bounce on the couch one last time.

"Hmm... maybe I have time for one last game of pool," she mused, racking up the balls. But then a familiar tingle hit her, from her toes to her nose.

"All right!" she grinned as the confetti flashed. "I'm outta here!" ***

It was very late when Liv's plane arrived on Pirate Island. But that didn't stop her from cupping her hands around her mouth and yelling as loud as she could from the sidewalk. "Uncle Nick! Uncle Green! I'm here!" A light flicked on in an upstairs window, and a moment later Liv was being swarmed by two elderly old men, one of them green. "Liv! At last!" "It's been so lonely the past few days since... since Rags died," Green added, his voice going suspiciously hoarse. "Well, I'm here now," Liv said, giving him and Will fierce hugs in turn. "So no more moping around, okay?"

It didn't take Liv very long to get unpacked and dressed in her new everyday outfit. While the pink dress she'd transitioned into was cute, it wasn't really 'her'. I think it's pretty safe to say this outfit definitely is.

"You got a fish tank!" she squealed a few hours later as she went over every inch of her new home. "Hooray!"

The puppies, Riches and Nell, were a bit apprehensive about the newcomer in their midst, but they soon accepted her as a member of their pack. And they were both welcome to join Liv in her bedroom any time--she had a double bed, and she was only using half of it!

It wasn't long before life in the little cottage settled into a routine. Liv declared herself the feeder-of-uncles and insisted on serving dinner every evening, since she hadn't managed to find a job in the Gamer career yet.

"Are you sure you're ready to settle down into a career already, though?" Nick asked when Liv voiced her annoyance at not finding a job after a few days. "You're young! Spend some time seeing the world! Nick and I certainly don't need you to bring in any money." "I want to feel like I'm contributing to the household," Liv said plaintively. "I don't wanna be a freeloader. That's not fun." "You're contributing plenty," Green said warmly, reaching across the table to squeeze his niece's hand. "You're bringing a lot of happiness to two old men who had nothing better to do than grump about the weather."

"How could I not make things fun wherever I go?" she grinned. "It's just who I am! And of course everyone around me is going to have an absolutely fabulous time. Obviously!" "And that's important enough a contribution," Green insisted. "Don't worry about settling down into a life of responsibility yet. In fact, why don't you think about doing that quest the freaky bear is so insistent on? Find the Captain's Rum!" "Oh, I forgot about that!" Liv said, eyes widening even further, if that was possible. "That'd be wicked fun."

"There's the spirit," Nick said jovially, sitting down to join them. "At least you'd get away from this infernal rain we've been having lately. If another tree gets hit by lightning..." "Yeah, that's the only un-fun thing about this place," Liv said emphatically. "Forest fires are not cool. Maybe I will go off to look for the rum. In a little while, anyway. I want to spend some time with my nephew and nieces."

"Welcome to the house!" "Aaah! Ghost!" "Love you, Livy!"

The next morning, once she was quite recovered from her grandmother's visit, Liv decided to suit actions to words and invite over the family. "Well, the toddlers are being pains in the neck," Orikes laughed, "but your father and I will come by with Orlando if that's okay." "That'd be fabulous!" Liv grinned. "Oh, this is going to be--" "Fun!" her mother finished for her. "See you in an hour or so."

Sure enough, Orikes, Will and Orlando were waiting by the mailbox to be greeted within an hour's time. "Aw, you don't have to stand on ceremony around here," Liv said, giving her hesitant nephew a healthy hug. "Just walk right in! None of us mind!"

"Were you waiting for us to visit, Auntie Liv?" Orlando asked, his eyes wide. Thus far his exposure to Liv had largely been over the phone and during a once-a-year visit, and he was still a little shy around her. Plus, she'd been living in France. That made her something beyond the ken of ordinary mortals as far as he was concerned. "Of course, 'Lando!" Liv grinned. "I missed you so much while I was at college. I'm so happy to be back!" "Even if Grandpa insists on smustling on the sidewalk?"

"Even if," Liv said fondly. "So, 'Lando, why don't you tell me about yourself? You're getting so big so fast, I feel like I hardly know you. What's your favorite thing to do?" "Play catch with dad," Orlando said automatically. "Or with mom, but she's usually too busy with the girls." And he wrinkled his nose. "They still have accidents all the time, so they smell." "Well, they wear diapers," Liv shrugged. "That's what diapers are for." "Yeah, but I can't wait til they can play games with me."

"Well, until then how about I do that job?" Liv said with a smile. "Have you ever played airplane?" "Not since I was little," Orlando said scornfully. "That's a little kid's game." "Not when you play it like this!" Liv whooped. Catching Orlando about the wrists, she startled whirling in circles, faster and faster. "Wheeeeeee!"

It was a very reluctant Orlando who finally said goodbye several hours later. "Can I come over again soon?" he asked as he gave Liv a fierce hug. "Whenever you want," Liv said. "Just make sure you ask your parents or your grandparents first, so that somebody knows where you are. Okay?" "Deal!"

The next day, Will stayed home with the toddlers so that Hugo and Lainey could come to visit with Liv. "It's so good to see you again, sister," Lainey said happily, giving Liv a hug. "And you," Liv agreed. "How have you been? My brother still treating you okay?" "Better than ever," Lainey said with a sly smile and a wink towards her husband. "Good to know," Liv said, making a face. "You did ask, did you not?" "Yes, I didn't!"

"D-does Nellie bite?" Orlando asked apprehensively as the overgrown puppy came over and sniffed him cautiously. "Of course not, dear," Lainey responded with a gentle smile. "She's known you since you were a baby." "Oh yeah," Orlando nodded. He cautiously reached forward and scratched Nell behind the ears. "She's way bigger than Lila." "Yeah, but she's a lot younger," Lainey cautioned him. "She's still pretty much a puppy, so don't be too rough with her. You can go out into the back yard and play if you like."

"And what's my favorite cousin who is green and has no nose up to these days?" Liv asked, pouncing Borusa eagerly. "As opposed to your favorite cousin who is green and does have a nose?" "Exactly!" "Not much," Borusa shrugged. "I graduate at the end of this school year, and then it's off to college." "That's cool!" Liv grinned. "Paris is uber nifty. I'm just sad that you won't get to meet Erroneus while you're there. He's moved in a new

placeholder and he's graduating early so he can get married." "Erroneus? Getting married? Cool!" Borusa said. "You know him?" "Yeah, he was a senior when Spandrell and I were freshmen," Borusa shrugged. "We hung around sometimes. He's a nice guy." "You could have married him if you wanted," Orikes said loudly. "Mom!"

"Mother playing matchmaker again?" Hugo teased. "As long as she doesn't try to set me up," Borusa said emphatically. "I'm a confirmed bachelor." "Oh really?" Liv asked, a note of teasing disbelief in her voice. "I'm a romance sim," Borusa explained. "Settling down with just one woman is not for me." "Oh? Then how come I've been hearing rumors about you and a certain Ms. Traveller all over town?" "It's only settling with one that I'm opposed to," Borusa smirked.

"You just haven't heard about any of the others." "Riiight," Liv said. "I know how teenaged boys talk. She's the only one who's let you kiss her, right?" "Just the only local," Borusa said defensively. "I'm a frequent user of the matchmaking service." "Me too!" "Really?" "Just a hint--Val really likes flowers. She'll go the extra mile for you if you bring her flowers."

"Auntie Liv, why does Borusa like girls so much?" Orlando asked as he practiced his best 'hang loose'. "Because he's a Romance sim who likes girls," Liv said, shrugging. "It's just who he is. But you're a bit too young to be worrying about girls..." she paused for a second. "Or boys." "I just don't understand why he likes lots of them," Orlando said, sticking his lip out as he contemplated the idea. "I wanna get married someday, and they only let you marry one person."

"And why do you want to get married?" "So I can have a family and a motorbike and a puppy and a--" "You've got a lot of big dreams," Liv grinned. "Well, stick to 'em, 'Lando. If you follow your dreams you can do anything." "What's your dream, Auntie Liv?" Liv was thoughtful. "I don't really know, yet."

"You know, you're not really setting a very good example for your nephew."

All too soon, the evening of camaraderie and friendship came to an end. "Come by and see us soon," Orikes said, giving Liv a quick hug. "Of course I will!" Liv said. "Soon as Shih's baby is born, I'm heading out on a quest to find the Rum, so I'm going to be spending as much time with all of you as possible until then." "Would that include babysitting?" Lainey asked hopefully. "Hugo

and I would not mind getting away for an evening, and I am certain your parents would like a break too." "Of course! I've got all kinds of mischief I can't wait to teach Orlando and the girls." "That is what I was afraid of," Lainey said, but her smile was wide. "You busy Friday?" ***

When Ching Shih woke up, she found herself in a rare good mood. Quickly, she made her bed and then checked her watch. Five in the morning--she'd woken exactly on time.

"Jim?" "Beloved!" "Am I still your beloved?" she teased. "What do you think, my sweet wife-to-be? I cannot wait until I can see you again. Have you any news on that front?" "Not yet, I'm afraid," Shih sighed. "But... I'm sure we'll hear something soon. After the baby is born." "I wish I could be there."

"So do I," Shih sighed. "But unless Uncle Jack's law-ninjas produce a miracle, that won't be happening. I don't think it's going to be very long now." "Even though I am not there... I am very excited." "I'll call you as soon as anything happens... or tomorrow. Whichever happens first. I love you, Jim." "I will be counting the seconds. I love you both."

"Okay, so what do you think? Double date after work today?" Spandrell asked his twin. "Ehh... sure," Borusa shrugged. "I haven't seen Tina in a few days. You asking out Hades?"

"Yeah," Spandrell said excitedly. "I really like him. I just feel kinda awkward having him over where our parents might meet him." "Why? He's been over before." "Yeah, but he wasn't my boyfriend before. You and Tina will totally gross everyone out with your PDA and then it won't be nearly as awkward."

"Them's fightin' words!" Borusa said, making a fist and socking his brother on the shoulder. "You can't deny the truth!" Spandrell smirked. "You drive mom and dad nuts with worries you'll get some girl knocked up. Meanwhile, I'm free to conduct my own romances at my own pace... all without being spied on or hovered over by overzealous 'rents."

"Hey, you totally know I'd never get some girl knocked up in high school," Borusa scowled. "And so do mom and dad!" "Well, yeah, but you're a Romance sim... and it so works out to my advantage." "I thought we were supposed to be the nice kids of this generation." "Nice doesn't mean incapable of deviousness."

"Who's devious?" Ching Shih asked, skipping down the stairs. "Hi Andrew!" "Nobody," Spandrell and Borusa said in unison, their voices completely innocent. "Andrew thinks these two are plotting again," Andrew said, crossing his arms over his chest and attempting to look stern. "The last prank was most difficult to clean up after. Please do not repeat it." "I didn't know the fish would die if I put it in the bath tub!" Borusa protested. "I thought the tub was full of water!" "Yes, but the tub was not full of fish, and when Andrew went to use the potty he stepped on the dead thing. Dead fish is very hard to get out of rugs. And feetfur."

Pretty soon the boys left for school and Ching Shih settled herself in the dining room with second breakfast. She felt like a hobbit these days, with her rounded belly and her constant need for food. Assuredly, she'd be hungry again for elevenses, luncheon, dinner, supper, tea, and whatever other meal she could think of. Although it was nice being able to eat anything she wanted without worrying about losing her figure. As athletic as she was, she still had a sweet tooth and had to work hard to stay in shape most of the time.

Both Borusa and Spandrell's dates were amenable to coming over after school, and Borusa and Tina provided plenty of PDA to distract watchful chaperones from embarrassing Spandrell and Hades.

"Your brother's got good taste in girls," Hades said, eyeing Tina critically. "If I wasn't dating you, I'd totally go for her." "Yeah, that's a nice thing to say when you're out with someone else," Spandrell said, mock-pouting. "Yeah, but I am dating you," Hades shrugged. "So it's moot, really. Plus, your brother's cool. I wouldn't want to muscle in on his chick." "Every chick is his chick," Spandrell pointed out. "Even the ones who don't know it yet. I don't think he's been shot down since Rakshasi gave him the cold shoulder." "Didn't think he was into furries."

"Gah! You don't have to whip it at me, Tina!" "I saw you flirting with Rakshasi at lunch today," Tina Traveller grumbled. "It's a small school. I can see the whole lunch cafeteria!" "'Shasi and I are just friends," Borusa shrugged. "We were talking about homework. Besides, she's going out with Terry." "And if she wasn't would you be flirting with her?" Tina demanded, flinging the kickybag back at Borusa. "What? No! Not when I've got you," Borusa added, fluttering his eyelashes. "You're a dork," Tina grinned, evidently deciding to believe him. "But you're a cute dork." "Does that mean I get a kiss?"

"They sure argue a lot," Hades said. "It's Borusa. He likes to make the chicks think everyone wants him." "But they do." "Yeah, but I think he's only going to date one while we're in town. Our class is too small--if he pisses off one of them, all of the women on the island will hate him." "Ah, the drawback of being a Romance sim in a small town." "Yep. Hey, want to come on inside and see my room? I think all the adults are busy watching those two."

Hades looked around consideringly. "In a minute," he said at last. "First, I'm going to kick your butt at Rock Paper Scissors." "Are not!" "Am too!" ***

Ching Shih deserves to be the Piratical heiress. Don't you think? She tub-pirates before and after nearly every shower or bath. It's quite endearing. ***

The next morning, Ching Shih was up at the crack of dawn so she could talk to her fiancé as usual.

Their phone bill was getting a little high, so they decided to chat via IM instead.

"I see somebody has finally emerged from the computer room long enough to socialize with the rest of the family," Grace teased. "I even showered!" "Will wonders never cease!" Gertie chuckled. "How's Jim doing?" "He's good, or as good as can be," Shih said gaily. "I think we're both so excited about the baby that we're not letting ourselves be sad or discouraged." "That's good to hear," Grace nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," Shih grinned. "If Junior wants to come today, I'm more than ready. I've never felt so good in my life." "First babies are usually late," Grace cautioned. "Just because today's your due date doesn't mean anything." "Oh, I know," Shih said breezily. "I just hope I don't have to wait too much longer. The sooner the baby is born, the sooner I can help Jack more with the search for a solution."

"In fact," Shih added, stretching and beating her arms against her chest, "I think I may go down to the library to research today anyway. I feel healthy enough to eat an ox." "I don't think that would be a good idea," Grace warned. "If you go into labour there, they'll probably sue you." "So? We have plenty of money! A few thou isn't going to break the bank."

"Well, make sure you wear a jacket," Grace said finally. "It's cold out there." "Is there a particular reason you're pumping your fist in the air like that?" Gertie asked. "Stretches keep the body limber even in our old age, little sister." Just then, their conversation was interrupted by a loud cry.

"Baby coming! BABY COMING!"

Some very frantic moments later, it was all over.

"It's a BOY!" Grace hooted. "Woohoo! We haven't had one of those in the family in ages!" "A boy!" Gertie echoed excitedly. "And is that blond hair I see?" "And gray eyes like daddy," Shih said fondly, but tiredly. "Oh, mom... Auntie Gertie... I'm so happy I could cry! I just wish Jim was here to see his son." "I'll take a picture and email it to him," Grace said. "Do you have a name picked out?" "Yeah," Shih smiled. "It was Jim's suggestion. Balthier."

Ching Shih talked to Jim for a few minutes on the phone to tell him the good news while Grace emailed a picture of baby Balthier. Then Shih headed upstairs to collapse on her bed while Grace took over care of her grandson. "An extra bottle never hurts," she clucked as she cuddled the little boy. "Though I wish your father was here to give it to you."

"So what's this I hear about a grandson?" Lee asked proudly when he got home from work later that day. "Congratulations, love." "Thanks dad," Shih said, smiling beatifically. "He's so beautiful. Have you seen him?" "I was hoping you would show me yourself," Lee said. "I just walked in the door." "He's sleeping right now," Shih said.

"I don't need to hold him just yet," Lee shrugged. "There will be plenty of time for that. I'll be very, very quiet." "Well then, come on," Shih said, smiling and leading her father into the nursery.

Of course, when they got there, nearly everyone else was clustered around the little baby. It's pretty safe to say that the entire family was head-over-heels in love with Balthier. If ever there was a wanted baby, it was this one, despite the sad circumstances surrounding his father.

Ching Shih spent a lot of time with her son, but she also threw herself into researching a possible way around the restrictions on Jim's immigration. For his part, Jim had applied for temporary residency in each of Singapore, Canada, and France. Should they find no other solution, at least they were working towards one of the more long-term ones. And temporary residency was the first step towards citizenship. While Shih worked, the rest of the family fought over who got to feed Balthier and give him his baths. The diapers, though, they tended to leave for the baby's mother. "You're the fifth baby I've taken care of now," Gertie said fondly, nuzzling Balthier's nose with her own. "And I think you're the cutest so far! I can't believe Shih went and had a blond baby!"

Interestingly enough, it was Borusa who felt the closest bond to Balthier of the two boys. He was the only one who didn't hand Balthier to Shih as soon as a diaper was dirtied, for one. And he was always offering to babysit so Shih could go to the library or Jack Thayer's house.

"You need to drink up so you can be big and strong for when your father finally gets to meet you," he said, bouncing Balthier in his arms as he fed the infant a bottle. He eyed the bottle critically. "But I don't blame you if you don't finish this thing. It's the same size you are!"

Putting the bottle away, he raised the baby to his nearly non-existant nose and looked him in the eye. "And you're going to be a Romance sim when you grow up, aren't you? Yes you are! Yes you are!" "Borusa!" Spandrell called from the study, where he'd been reading. "Yes?" "Are you trying to subvert our nephew again?" "No... why would you think that?"

"Because you try to subvert everyone," Spandrell chuckled, putting down his magazine and walking into the kitchen. Crouching closer to Balthier, he began playing peek-a-boo with the baby. "So what if I do?" Borusa said. "I just think he's a little young for that," Spandrell grinned, crossing his eyes. Balthier laughed delightedly. "See? He likes me best."

"Whatever you say, little brother." "Little? You know very well that I'm five minutes older than you!" "You just keep telling yourself that, Spandrell. I know the truth." ***

Time passed, and Ching Shih felt herself growing despondent once more. Sometimes it seemed like she'd never see Jim again--it had been almost three years, and she still missed him more every day. He was her other half, and he was missing the formative years of his son's life to boot. Even worse, she was growing old and he wasn't. This bothered Jim more than it bothered her, to be sure. She heard the phone ring and levered herself out of bed with a sigh.

"Slow down, Jack! You use so many big words I can't get what you're saying! ... Really? REALLY?!? Ohmygosh, that's excellent! When can you get here? A few more hours? .... Well, it's Balthier's birthday party tonight. Why don't you stop by for cake and you can tell me all about it."

That night there was a parade of cousins to the Buccaneer family manor. Everyone had made it to see the birthday of the apparent generation seven heir to the family legacy. Even Toby had flown in from out of town. As for Ching Shih, she was bubbling over with joy. She hated to rush through things, but at the same time she was nearly breathless with anticipation and could hardly wait for the formal events of the night to be over. With a coo and a tickle, she held Balthier close to the cake and blew out the candles. "Happy birthday, sweet one," she sang. Lowering her voice, she whispered in his ear: "I think you're going to get to meet your daddy soon. And that's the best birthday present I can give you."

Balthier grew up into possibly one of the most adorable toddlers I've ever had in my game. If the family hadn't already been enamoured of him, they certainly were now. And he was a scamp right from the get-go! As soon as his mom put him down he was off scooting along the hallway like a flash. "Not so fast!" Grace chuckled, trailing after him.

Meanwhile, the other guests were enjoying spending some time mingling. Even Jack, who was as eager as Shih to get to the business at hand. "This is a most curious amusement, the like of which I have never experienced," he said, pondering the llama with its stack of straws. "Whoever first conceived of the notion to add and extricate drinking tubes to and from the posterior of a Chilean dromedary..." "Havin fun, ur doin it rong," Shere Khan pouted. "Analysis--Do. Not. Want." "And yet you are possessed of a remarkably keen and analytical mind yourself, nephew," Jack said. "I would cogitate that you would be interested in the origins of such an ... odd ... pastime." "Birthday party kitteh is havin fun," Shere Khan corrected gently. "Not thinkin'. Bsides, there are caek. Caek is not a lie! I must nom now." "As you wish, my be-furred relation."

"Left! LEFT!" Toby shouted, making wild gesticulating motions at the TV screen. "No! Not there... see? You crashed into that tree! If you just listened to me you'd get the high score, but noooo."

"Has he always been like this?" Spandrell asked Liv as they waited for the level to reset back to the beginning. "Always. He's a textbook example of a backseat driver." "Back seats aren't for driving!" Toby said automatically. "Toby!" Liv scolded. "There are children present!" "Hey!" "I was talking about Balthier." "Oh. Well, I guess that's okay. Ooh good, done loading. Hold on to your socks, Liv, 'cause I'm going to kick. your. a--"

Having finally caught up to her scampering son, Ching Shih promptly irradiated him with smart milk. "Wha dat?" "It will help you learn more quickly," Shih said. "Mommy has things she has to do and she might not be able to help you do this tomorrow... and I don't want anybody else to teach you, unless it's your father. Come on, Balthier... time to go potty."

Balthier couldn't talk much yet, but I think his face said plenty. He was definitely unsure about the whole glowing green thing, and he felt the same about potty-training. Diapers were infinitely easier, from his end of things.

The rest of the party guests hadn't really noticed the absence of the birthday boy and his mom. They were too busy mingling and having fun. And teasing Lainey and Hugo, who had obviously just popped the party up to roof raiser all on their own in the hot tub on the deck.

"Mama!" Balthier repeated obediently. "Y-you said it!" Shih said, her face breaking into a huge grin. "You said mama!" "Mama!" "That's good enough for me," Ching Shih smiled. "You'll pick up plenty more words now. How about we try walking next?"

"Hey Will, what's that?" "Where?" **SPLOOSH!** Some sims never grow up, matter how many birthdays they have.

"Okay," Ching Shih said, settling Borusa on unsteady feet. "I know you've stopped glowing, but the effects should last until you hit teenager. Just how the stuff works. So you can do this. Just put one foot in front of the other and come to mama."

Hesitantly, Balthier tottered the three steps from where he stood into Ching Shih's waiting arms. "You did it!" Shih crowed exultantly. She cuddled Balthier fiercely for a moment. "And now it's time to sleep, baby. Okay?" "No' tired." "Yes you are. Come. I'll even sing you a lullaby first." Ching Shih tucked her son in with the song he loved best and then, closing the nursery door behind her, rejoined the rest of the party.

Shih was surprised to see that most of the guests had gone and suppressed a momentary pang of guilt. "Okay," she said, approaching Jack. "Spill it." "There is no logic to flogging about the thicket: I shall be succinct. I believe I have found a solution to your dilemma. Or, more accurately, the haunted felted ursine presented an intriguing alternative." "And? What is it?" Shih tapped her foot a trifle impatiently. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"It is quite understandable, given the circumstances," Jack said with a forgiving smile. "In essence, there is an aperture through which you and your betrothed should be able to evade that most schismatic ordinance you face. To be frank, I am somewhat redfaced at the necessity of being reminded of the possibility by an undead soft toy. "In essence, you and your betrothed must become citizens of a nation that is not forbidden by the edict of immigration."

"But... I thought every country on earth was listed in that stupid book?" "Indeed," Jack affirmed. "However, there is one other location that is generally considered a sovereign state of its own for international purposes in our time." "What do you mean?" And then a lightbulb went off. "The sea!" "Indeed: you are possessed of extreme acumen. To elaborate, aboard a sailing vessel." "That sounds easy enough."

"There is, however, a catch," Jack added. "To my reading, it must not be any sailing vessel. It must be one owned by the family, of which you or a duly appointed family member is the lawful captain, so that there can be no charge of evading the law wilfully." "But that means..." Shih blinked. "I have to find Grampa Jack's ship? The Pearl?" "Again, your sagacity amazes me. I believe that to be the solution." "But it's been missing for generations," Shih said. "Where do I even start looking?"

Jack didn't respond in words, which was unusual for him. Instead, he slipped a sheet of paper into Shih's hand. She looked down and read it. A smile twitched at the corner of her lip. "Thanks, Uncle Jack," she said, drawing him into a tight hug. "For everything." Then, excusing herself, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone.

"Toshiko? It's Ching Shih. I need a favour..." To Be Continued... -------->

"Mama? Where you go?"