A Girl Named Mister by Nikki Grimes

0310720788_GirlMister_int-cs4.indd 10310720788_GirlMister_int-cs4.indd 1 6/9/10 2:59 PM6/9/10 2:59 PM

Other books by Nikki Grimes:

Dark Sons

Voices of Christmas


Nikki Grimes


ZONDERVAN

A Girl Named MisterCopyright © 2010 by Nikki Grimes

This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook. Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks.

This title is also available as a Zondervan audio edition. Visit www.zondervan.fm.

Requests for information should be addressed to:Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Grimes, Nikki. A girl named Mister / Nikki Grimes. p. cm. Summary: A pregnant teenager finds support and forgiveness from God through a book of poetry presented from the Virgin Mary’s perspective. ISBN 978-0-310-72078-2 (hardcover) [1. Novels in verse. 2. Pregnancy—Fiction. 3. Mary, Blessed Virgin, Saint—Fiction. 4. Christian life—Fiction. 5. African Americans—Fiction.] I. Title. PZ7.5.G75Gi 2010 [Fic]—dc22

2010010830

All Scripture Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Latin quotes are taken from Latin Quips at Your Fingertips, compiled and translated by Rose Williams. Published by Barnes & Noble Books, 2001.

Cover design: DesignWorksCover photography: ©iStockphotoInterior design & composition: Greg Johnson/Textbook Perfect & Carlos Eluterio Estrada

Printed in the United States of America

10 11 12 13 14 15 /DCI/ 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


Acknowledgements

This book had a long and circuitous journey, and many helped along the way. First, the manuscript passed through the hands of editors Donna Bray, Arianne Lewin, and Jacque Alberta. I thank each for her part in helping to shape the story. I owe a special debt of gratitude to Ginny M.M. Schneider and Gina Marie Mammano V. for reading early versions of the text. Your honest, intuitive response was a great encouragement. Thanks, always, to my agent Elizabeth Harding, the best partner and cheerleader an author could have. Finally, grateful thanks to Amy Wevodau Malskeit, who put in countless hours critiquing various drafts of this novel. Amy, words fail. I hope I did you all proud.


Prologue


9

Mary: When Gabriel Comes

I.A bright light turns the nightof my chamber into dayand pries my eyes open.What do I see?A being lit from within,a giant whose voiceis quiet thunder.“Fear not,” he says, too late.I quake, rubbing my eyesanxious to wakefrom this dream.“I am Gabriel,”says the voice, more soothing now.“I bring a message from God.”Trembling, I riseready to listen.Still, what am I to makeof his amazing words?That I, a virgin,am to be mother of Messiah?

II.All things are possiblewith God.The truth of itfalls on me like rain.I slowly drink it in,then lift my arms,surrendered.“I am yours, Lord.Do with me as you will.”


10

He wraps his lightaround me.

I am never the same again.


11

Mister: First TouchHow did it happen?I told myselfit’s only touching.I told myselfmy clothes are still on.But who was I kidding?Even throughmy rayon-cotton blendhis touchburned the world away.


Cave quicquam incipias quod paeniteat postea.

“Be careful about starting something you may regret.”

— Syrus, Maxims


15

A Girl Named MisterBlame it on my mother.She’s the one who named meMary Rudine.The name is some throwbackher old-fashioned thinkingcame up with.Nobody but Momhas called me Mary Rudinesince forever.First it was Mary,then it was M.R.Mister is all anybodycalls me now.

My boyfriend used to thinkit was cute,a girl named Mister.Used to think I was cute.Used to be my boyfriendwhat feels likea million years ago.Then again, I used to bea good Chris tian girl,the kind who would never, well . . .Just goes to showhow little people know.Even I was surprised by me.Now, I close my eyeshoping to seeexactly where I went wrong.


16

When It Was GoodWas it that long ago?I remember one morningsitting in church,keeping my eyes on Dante,the cutest boy in the band.Mom caught me.“Quit eyeing that guitaristlike candy,” she whispered.I laughed easy.In those days,Mom and me,we could talkabout anything.


17

Temple of My RedeemerA second home,as familiar as skin.Crammed inside its wallsmemories ofSunday school,all-church picnics,and vacation Bible schoolSword drills.My youth group meets there,and choir, of course.Even my old Girl Scout trooponce hung outon holy ground,meeting inthe church basement.I could alwayscount on the deaconsto take dozens of cookiesoff my hands.I’m just saying,God’s housewas cozy territory,no question.Until this last year.Don’t ask me why,but something in mestarted pulling away.


18

ChoirFor as long as I can remember,I have loved to sing in the choir.“Sing, Mister” folks call outas my voice does a high-wirereaching for heaven’s hem.I don’t know what my friend Sethanyconcentrates on,but whenever she singsabout the Lordher face gets this inside-out glow.That’s all I know.


19

Something’s MissingAnkle deep,my faith a thingI wade into now and then.Not like Sethany.She’s mid-seaand thinks I’mright behind her.


20

For MeI’m not sure when it happened,but one Sunday I woke upand for me,church was mostly abouthanging out with friendsat God’s house.And for the longest time,that seemed to be enough.After worship,Mom would fl ash me a smilethat said “Good girl!”as Seth and Itrotted offto youth group.


21

RestlessI turned the musicof the worldway up,my feet itching to danceto a new rhythm,something other thangospel.


22

Sophomore Shuffl eMom calls volleyballmy new religionjust ’causeI practice every day.How else will I get better?Let her razz meall she wants.I fi guresince I was good enoughto make the team,maybe volleyballcan help pay my wayto college.It could happen.You know what they sayabout miracles.


23

Then Came TreyIt was a Tuesday.It was almost cliché.He raced round a corner,rushing to class,and smashed into me.My books went fl yingand so did my temper.Thanks to this boneheadI was going to be late,which put me in no moodfor his apology,and I was all readyto cut him down to sizewith my eyes,until I caught his.Those long lashes got me,the way they softenedthe hardscape of his face.One look,and they softened me too.“Are you okay?” asked Trey.I said something, I think,or maybe I just nodded,or smiled.It’s not my faultI can’t remember.Blame it onthose stupid lashes.


24

OutsiderI asked around,found out Treyis one of those guyswho hangs out on the fringesof our group.He doesn’t go to churchbut seems to likeChris tian kids,so I fi gurehe probably believes in God.That’s one pointin his favor.


25

Just FriendsI never thoughthe was perfect.I won’t tell myselfthat lie.But he was fi ne,had a twinkle in his eyewith my name on it.And when he smiledI fell into himheadfi rst,got lost in his laughter.I saw no danger.After all,we were just friends.


26

Trey’s GirlI remember the fi rst timehe claimed me.We were at a partywith a bunch of kids from schooljust after Thanksgiving.I’d gone with Sethany.Trey had shown up on his own,like always.Seth and I were chatting awaywhen some guyfrom a school ’cross towncame up to me for a dance.Before I had a chance to speak,Trey threw me a look,then got all in this guy’s face,smiling thoughand saying nice as anything,“Excuse me, butthis is my girl.”


27

Dylan ThomasTrey found me in the library,surprised me with a kisson the back of my neck.The heat of itran up and down my spineand I’m thinking,Dylan who?“See you later,” Trey whispers.distracting me a little morefor good measure.So, of course,I had to go backto the top of the pageand start reading“Do Not Go GentleInto that Good Night”all over again.


28

Into HimI can’t usually stand know-it-allb-ball players,but I liked the wayTrey committed tosteering clear of drugs,and how he talked aboutkeeping his body pure — something we had in common,even though I knowit doesn’t mean the samefor him and me.Maybe, one dayit will.


29

DateTrey said he’d be happyto hang out with me wherever,so I invite him to video nightat church.Soon as the lights wink outin the rec roomand Princess Brideblinks onto the screen(never mind that we’ve all seenit a gazillion times!),Trey whispers in my earthat he wants me all to himself.No more of these group dateson video night,or lame trips (his words)to the local skating rinkfor spins around the iceand cups of hot chocolate.“Why can’t we,you know,go on a real date,just you and me?”Yeah, why not?I start thinking.Why not?


30

Don’t Remind Me“Careful,” Seth warned me.“I see the way you look at Trey,the way he looks at you.Remember, we both promised Godwe’d wait.”“We’re not doing anything,” I told her.We’re not doing anything,I told myself.Still, I couldn’t help but noticehow the purity bandon my ring fi ngerseemed loose lately.Like any day now,it mightjustslipoff.


31

Just UsAlone at his house,his parents I don’t know where,we sit on the sofa,the TV watching the heatrising between us.I tingle all overas Trey closes the distance.It’s okay,I tell myself.I won’t let it gotoo far.But before I know it,his hand is rubbing my inner thigh,racing toward my waist,reaching underneath my — What am I doing?“Stop!” I tell himusing what little breathI have left,too trappedin my own frustrationto worryabout his.


32

ExposureI switch on the TV,see this boy and girlplastered against the wallof some fi ctional school,kissing their brains out,then sneaking inside the boys’ room.Together.I shudder, slightly disgusted,and turn away.Still, I start to wonderif all the otherkids are right.Am I Miss Priss?Am I making too big a dealabout waiting?


33

The “L” Word“You’re so beautiful,” says Trey,his hands busywith my buttons.I fi nger the crossround my neck.A voice inside me chidesRemember:You’re saving yourself for true love.Trey must’ve heard.How else to explainhim suddenlycupping my face in his handsand whispering,“You’re killing me, girl.You know I’m fallingin love with you.”


34

MTVNelly’s “Body on Me”fi lters through the window.I close my eyes,wait for the music to end,but I still can’t sleep.The beat of my thoughtsa rhythm I can’t getout of my head.I just want you.I just want to beyour addiction — lines from a songstirring in meand the CDisn’t even on.


35

Losing GroundLike a summer showerfalling in silver sheetsthick as curtains,love rains down on me.Loveand loveand loveand Treyare all I see.


36

In the Name of LoveI can’t explain it.I think Treyand feel as ifI’ve swallowed warm honeyand a spoonful of sun.I’m not that pretty,still I’m the onehe wants.Don’t ask me why.I only knowit makes me happy.And isn’t that what love is?And isn’t love what God is?So how can wanting more of thisbe wrong?


37

AmnesiaTrey strokes my bare shoulder

and I shudder as

once-familiar words burst

like fi reworks in my brain.

Something Pastor said about

temptation, and God’s help.

What was it?

I start to push away,

to study the words before

they fade.

“You’re sweet as

a chocolate Sunday,”

whispers Trey.

I smile, close my eyes,

and wait for more.

Before I know it,

my eyelids are screens

fl ashing the words

Your body is a temple

of the —

“Silk wishes it were

as soft as you,”

Trey interrupts,

blowing hotly in my ear.

And after that, I swear

I don’t remember

much of anything.


38

Trey’s PlaceOh, God, oh, God! His handsmapping every inch of me,journeying where they shouldn’t bebut, ooooh!Lord, I know you’ll understand.You made my skin, Trey’s hand.I never knew it could feel so — What’s he doing?Mmmm. He’s tracing my nameacross my belly,Mister, each letterwet from his tongue.God, I’m sorry butI can’t stop,don’t want to — Oh God, oh God, OhGod will forgive me,right?Right?


39

LaterHe sleeps, guiltless.I slink out of bed,slither into wrinkled shirt and jeans,pretend I’m a shadowcreeping across the fl oor,slipping out the door,racing home quick as feetcan meet the air.But no matter how fast I fl ee,step by stepguilt gains on me.


40

Thoughts on the Long Walk HomeI.It’s not that I thoughtangels would sing,or the sky would part.I’m not a kid.But I did thinkthere’d be this trade,that I’d give something upand he would too.Instead,I’m somehow lessand his moreis still locked awayin a mysteryof bone and skin,and the sin of itis that I’m empty now,and keyless.

II.It wasn’t worthall the guilt,I know that much.Besides, once he got pastthe feeling-up part,it was mostly pain.Why do all thosestupid songs saythe fi rst timeis the best?


41

III.What would Seth say?I’m not ready to tell her, yet.Not ready to see the look in her eye,the one that saysWhat happened to the promiseyou made to God?


A Girl Named Mister by Nikki Grimes

Documents

rst time

visit www

nikki grimes

video night

trey whispers

mary rudine

gods house

girl