90 Days To Communication Excellence - Unknown.pdf

ommunicationxce enceM

Genie Z. Laborde

©1985 Genie Z. Laborde

90 Days to Communication Excellence: A \\-orkooQkby Genie Z. Laborde

Published by Syntony Publishing ISBN 0-9613-: -r -:1450 Byron StreetPalo Alto, California 94301415/324-4550

This workbook contains concepts from Influencing with InTegri:y:Management Skills for Communication and Negotiationby Genie Z. Laborde

Published by Syntony Publishing

You may charge to Visa, Mastercard or American Express, or send check.Discounts for multiple orders.

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•••

NINETY DAYS TOCOMMUNICATION

EXCELLENCETM

GENIE Z. LABORDE

iPREFACE

Watching and listening to people who seem to have natural talent foreffective communication, experts have concluded that these people'sstrength is not what they say, but how: they say it. Most greatcommunicators have in common certain skills of influence.

This work-book presents some of these skills, which are useful in 95percent of the communication situations you face. The best method forlearning these skills is to select one skill to practice each day. Thiswork-book presents simple exercises at first then more complex ones.Space is provided for recording the successes which occur during theacquisition of these skills. Using this work-book for ninety days will giveyou a command of communication which may surprise you.

While the focus here is on business communication, the skills are usefulanywhere people interact. The recognition and practice of these skills leadto better choices, better decisions, and even better thinking processes.

In spite of its importance, most of us seldom think aboutcommunication. Talking (only one of many ways of communicating) islike breathing. We have done it as long as we can remember, and wecertainly do not know how we do it. Sometimes talking is morecomfortable than at other times, but basically words come, turn intosentences, and talk just happens. We may suspect sometimes that we couldbe better at communication, but where to start?

Effective communication begins with the recognition that each of us isunique and different. Sometimes we do not seem to be speaking the samelanguage even when we are using the same words. Good communicationskills bridge these differences. Bridging skills are influencing skills; theyincrease understanding and improve the quality of the goals of eachindividual in the communication process. Business people in seminarsacross the United States and throughout Europe are learning thesetechniques of influence. The result of a merger of psychology andlinquistics, this technology was first called Psycho-linquistics. From thisevolved the Neuro-linquistics model. Now comes the Syntonic model, anew science designed especially for analyzing and producing excellence incommunication. The name derives from the word syntony, which means tobe in harmony with self and with others-an appropriate goal for the useof these powerful techniques.

iiThe Syntonic model is concerned with the how (or process) of

communication, not the what (or content). Syntonics separates theintricacies of the communication process into discrete steps of easilyunderstood information. Knowing these steps enables you to interact withothers successfully.

The first step toward mastery of communication is to know what youwant. For many people, this is the most difficult step. Once you knowyour desired outcome (see Chapter 1), you need three skills in order to getit.

• The first skill is sensory acuity. You need to see more and hear morethan most people do. This is learnable. You may be surprised at thesensory skills you learn just from using this book.

• The second skill is flexibility. If you are not getting the response youwant when you talk, you need to be able to change your behavior untilyou do.

• The third skill is congruence. All of your sub personalities - the leader,the follower, the ambitious part, and the goff-off - need to agree onwhat you want. The alignment of all your different parts will producecongruence in communication.

You already have the skills necessary to begin. Some of you havedeveloped these skills more than others. No matter what level ofcommunication skills you have developed, you will find fine-tuning inthese pages. The work-book is designed to help you get what you want byusing your innate skills consciously as well as unconsciously.

Copyright 1985 Genie Z. Laborde 90 Days to CommunicationExcellence $9.95. Published by Syntony Publishing, 1450 Byron StreetPalo Alto, California 94301. Outside California call 800-228-4069. InCalifornia call 415-324-4450

This workbook contains concepts from Influencing' with Integ'rity:Manal(ement Skills for Communication and ~eg'otiation, $16.95, by GenieZ. Laborde, Published by Syntony Publishing,

You may charge to Visa, ~1asterCard or American Express or sendcheck. Discounts for multiple orders.

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INTRODUCTION

PICK a safe place to practice these Neuro-Iinguistic skills. Do not takerisks. The conscious mind can handle only seven plus-or-minus two bitsof information at one time. These exercises take up most of those bits.Carefully select the people to play with. Most important of all, enjoy theprocess. You are off to an exciting adventure, and the more you enjoy theadventure, the deeper your learning.

COMMUNICA TION EXCELLENCETM

._---~

DATE 1

Eye movements are not random. Eye movements help us retrieveinformation and "make sense" of our world.

Watch other people's eyes move in an upward direction today. Thesemovements may be quick flicks or they may last for some time. Simplynotice eye movements up and each time you catch one, say to yourself,"VISUAL."

Visuals sometimes look straight ahead and defocus. If you see thisoccuring, say to yourself, "VISUAL."

HAVE FUN

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?


DATE _ 2

Today, watch eye movements down right. Our language reflects theintuitive knowledge of this purposeful movement of eyes down right toretrieve or elicit feelilngs--emotions. The phrase, "He was downrightangry," is commun in certain parts of the United States. Our feelingsusually surface more easily when our eyes move down right.

This eye movement is the normal one for right-handed people. Thereare exceptions, of course. A few people's eyes move down left to searchfor emotions, even when they are right-handed.

Today, watch for eye movements down right only. When you find aneye movement down right, say to yourself, "Kinesthetic: this person iskinesthetic." Do not be discouraged if you do not find a lot of eyemovements in this direction. You are only beginning.

What sort of eye movements did you find today?

COMMUNICATION EXCELLENCETM

III,•••_-----

DATE 3

Today, watch eye movements at the mid-point of the eyes--Ieft orright movements of the eyes at the mid-point. This left-right shift is anauditory eye movement. This left-right shift may go fast or slowly. Whenyou see this, say to yourself, "AUDITORY: this person is auditory." S/helistens to the world to make sense of what is going on.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE 4

Today, notice whole bodies and their repetetive movements. Does theother person pace back and forth or swing one leg while sitting or tiphis/her body left or right? Do their body movements reinforce orcontradict what they are saying with their words? Also, notice when youhave rapport. Can you break rapport and re-establish it? Find a safeplace to practice this.

WHAT HAPPENED?

If you are having difficulty with these exercises, Influencin2' withInte2'rity: Mana2'ement Skills for Communication and Ne2'otiation willgive you additional insights, information and definitions. Fine Tune YourBrain, presenting even more strategies, will be published in 1985.Additional books are listed in the bibliography of Influencin2' withInte2'rity.


••


WHAT HAPPENED?

This day, pay attention to gestures, hand movements that occur atintervals. Do the gestures emphasize certain points the other person ismaking? Are the gestures seemingly random? Chances are the gestures arenot random. Can you find patterns, connections between the wordsspoken and the gestures used?

5DATE

DATE 6

These daily assignments fall into two groups: one group is forimproving your sensory awareness to the point of sensory acuity. Theother group of exercises is to help you sort out what it is you wantday-to-day. This latter is called the ability to set outcomes. What is yourmajor outcome for today? What would you like to accomplish, feel orgain today?

From now on each page will remind you that you can select youroutcomes for each day. Your day's outcome is in addition to mastery ofsensory acuity.

Today's outcome

Today, watch lower lips. Lower lips can swell, shrink, grow wider,disappear, change color, and quiver. What other changes, that lower lipsachieve, do you pick up? Do not correlate lip changes with content. Thatis for later. For now simply focus your awareness on lower lips.

WHAT HAPPENED?



Now you are ready for skin color changes. Look over pages 76C to76F in Influencin2' with Inte2'rity before you begin this assignment. If youcannot detect the changes on pages 76C to 76F, then you will need tospend several days on this task. If you are an artist, this will be easy.Today, label the colors you see in skins around you. Then notice whencertain spots in others' complexions change to other colors. If you arehaving difficulty with seeing skin color changes, pretend you can seethem, and name the pretend colors--rosy, greyish, bluish, sort of green,on the pink side, brownish, etc.--and then you may notice a shift in yourperception so that the pretend colors are indeed--real colors. They wereso subtle that your conscious mind was not sure. The conscious minddislikes being wrong.

DATE

Today's outcome _

7

DATE

Today's outcome _

8

Today, watch small muscle changes around the mouth. Tension,relaxation, lines, tumescence, hollows, smoothness, and sharpness arechanges that may occur.

Also today, you can look for the other auditory eye movement whichis down left. When you see someone's eyes move down left, say toyourself, "AUDITORY. This person is listening to an internal tape." Thencongratulate yourself for your sensory awareness.

WHAT HAPPENED?



WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, watch for small muscle changes around the eyes. Crinkles,crowsfeet, tension, puffiness, smoothness, and/ or wrinkles. Notice rapportand non-rapport around you. Notice rapport and non-rapport in yourown interactions.

9

Today's outcome

DATE

Today, watch for small muscle changes around the jaw line. Moresquareness, more roundness, more tension, more relaxation.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


10

II, ••• __ ••• ----

DATE

Today's outcome _

11

Today, watch noses and the muscle tone around them. Noses becomesharper, softer, pointed, and blunt; and noses change color as well.Become a nose expert. Your conscious mind will enjoy playing aroundwith noses for a day. Then you can forget noses, unless they are sendingyou an important message. In that case, you will receive the message on aconscious level as well as an unconscious level.

WHAT HAPPENED?

.••••••1"'tI.. •••••.• 7..,. .•. ..,.7".. .•. _ .•. .-. .•..•. -- .•. --- - -- - _.-

DATE _

Today's outcome _

12

•.•...

Today, watch chins, especially if they quiver. You may be surprisedhow many chins do quiver. You can watch shifts in chin outlines, in chinplacement in relation to necks, in relation to noses, and in relation to thecontent of the communication. You do know the difference betweencontent and process, do you not?

If you are chewing gum, the gum is the content and the chewing is theprocess. Here day by day you are learning to be aware of the processes ofcommunication. The most important parts of communication are usuallyin the processes going on behind the words. You probably do not believethis now, but if you complete all 90 activities, you may change your mind.Also, you will be a much more effective communicator.

WHA T HAPPENED?


'VHAT HAPPENED?

Today, watch the breathing of the other people with whom youcommunicate. Are they breathing in the upper chest, lower chest orIbdomen?

D.c-\TE

Today's outcome

13


DATE ---...;. 14

••.•.......

Today's outcome _

Today, watch breathing shifts. Are they suddenly breathing faster orslower, with pauses or steady? Does their visible breathing place shiftfrom lower abdomen to upper chest or vice versa? If you have difficultypicking up breathing, watch the line of the shoulder against a differentcolored background, if possible. The shoulder will rise and fall with thebreathing. Sometimes you can pick up breathing through watching thepulse at the temples, the wrist, or the neck. Breathing watching requiresmore skill than girl or boy watching.

WHAT HAPPENED?


_1III-1lIIIIII.",...1,1, ••• ----

DATE ---------Today's outcome _

Spend another day on breathing.

WHAT NEW SKILL DID YOU LEARN?


15

Today, begin to notice how breathing shifts correlate with the contentof the conversation. How many ways do you have to establish rapport?

DATE

Today's outcome

WHA T LEARNING OCCURED?


16

--iI

DATE

Today's outcome

17


Today, connect skin color shifts with breathing shifts. If you havedifficulty, notice this. You can try this again later. We never said this waseasy.

WHAT DID I LEARN?

DATE

Today's outcome

18

Today, connect skin color shifts with content (words and meanings ofthe other). Can you establish rapport non-verbally?

WHA T OCCURED?


DATE ---------Today's outcome _

19

Today, connect skin color shifts with content and make some guessesabout what is going on with the other person. Your guesses may be rightor wrong. If the guesses contain useful or important information, checkthem out with the other person. For example, you might say, "When youwere talking about , I thought perhaps you were feelingsomewhat . Is this so?"-----

WHAT SHALL I REMEMBER ABOUT THIS?


DATE

Today's outcome

20

•Practice these exercises in a safe place where the shifts of attention will

not get you into trouble.

Today, connect hand gestures and breathing, if there is a connection.If not, notice that.

WHA T HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

21

Today, notice the correlation of lower lip changes to skin colorchanges.

Write down what might be useful about what occured.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome·

22

Today, notice the big body shifts and correlate this to the breathingshifts.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

23

Today, notice head tilts. How much information can I learn from headtilts?

WHAT DID I SEE?


DATE _

Today's outcome _

24

Today, notice head tilts and eye movements. Is there a correlationbetween the two shifts?

WHAT CORRELATIONS DID I MAKE?


II

Today's outcome

Today, listen for visual predicates.

Here are examples of visual predicates.

2S

shouttonesoundclear

noteringgrowlsingheardaccent

clearperspectiveflashoutlookglimpseshortsighted

DATE

picturefocusseebrightspectaclepreview

I HEARD THESE PREDICATES TODAY:


DATE

Today's outcome

Today, listen for auditory predicates.

26

noteringgrowlsingheardsay

clickrattlechordharmonizemufflealarm

accentshouttonesoundclearscream

staticaskamplifykeyvoicescreech

-



DATE

Today's outcome

Today, listen for kinesthetic predicates.

touch handlerubcrashthrow fingersmashsharpenshockstirtangiblecrawl

strike impressirritateticklemove

hitsoregrabgrope

impactcarryflatstroke tap



27

Today, listen for predicates and decide quickly what representationalsystem (V, A or K) the other person is using.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEM DID IPICK UP ON?

VISUALAUDITORYKINESTHETIC


28

••••


WHAT HAPPENED?

29

Today's outcome

DATE

Today, listen for predicates in a group of three or more people. Canyou remember the representational systems of each person present?Remember people can shift from one representational system to another.Are you noticing these shifts? Most of us use all three major systems nowand then.

DATE

Today's outcome

SYNOPSIS--

What have you learned in 30 days?

What do you still need to practice?


30

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, notice non-specific predicates.

think believe

What additional non-specific predicates did I hear today?


31

DATE

Today's outcome

What will you see?

What will you hear?

What will you feel?

How will you know when you have your outcome?

32

Today, when you hear a non-specific predicate, notice where theother's eyes are.

DID THE EYES INDICATE VISUAL, AUDITORY, ORKINESTHETIC ACCESS OF INFORMATION?

CO~f~fl-~ICA TIO~ EXCELLENCE'"

Today, notice sequences of eye movements. Can you find patterns inthe sequences? Eye movements are not random.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


33

DATE

Today's outcome

34

Today, watch for additional sequences in eye movements. Take notes ifnecessary.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

35

Today, pay attention to whole body movements. Correlate these witheye movements and content. If you have difficulty, mark this page and trythis again at the end of the 90 exercises. You will find this easy at thatpoint.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

Today, correlate skin color, representational systems, and content.

WHAT HAPPENED?


36

WHAT HAPPENED?

Now you are ready for voices. Today, listen to the shifts in volume ofthose with whom you are talking. Can you tell when you have rapport bythe voice of the other person?

DATE

Today's outcome


37

Today, listen to the speed at which the other speaks. Notice shifts inthe speed.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHA T HAPPENED?


38

J

Today, listen to the individual timbre of the other. Timbre is thecharacter or quality of each person's voice which makes it distinct fromeverybody else's.

DATE

Today's outcome

39

WHAT HAPPENED?


-

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, listen to the tone of the other. High? Low? In between?

WHAT HAPPENED?


40

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, listen to the tone, timbre, tempo and volume all at once.

WHAT HAPPENED?


41


WHA T HAPPENED?

Today, notice shifts in volume of voices. Can you hear subtle shifts involume you could not hear five days ago? What happens to voices whenpeople are in rapport?

42

Today's outcome

DATE

It........


WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, notice shifts in the timbre of the voice of the other. Have youincreased your awareness of small changes in the sounds coming fromanother?

43

Today's outcome

DATE

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, notice shifts in the tone of the other.

WHAT HAPPENED?


44

Today, notice shifts in the tempo of the other. Also, notice rapportand non-rapport in your communication interactions.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


45

DATE _

Today's outcome _

Today, notice the pauses of the other.

What do you learn from the silences of the other?


46

Today, listen to the pauses which indicate the difficulty for the otherperson of finding the right words.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


47

DATE

Today's outcome

48

Today, listen to those times when the others begin to say one thingand then change directions.

WHA T HAPPENED?


------- -----.- -------------

DATE _

Today's outcome _

49

Today, listen to the double messages the others are sending. When thewords say one thing and the voice says another, this is a double message.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

Today, check out your guesses on the double messages.

so

Double messages are a sign of incongruence in the other person. Theother person mayor may not be aware of the incongruence. Your guessabout incongruence may be incorrect. Check out your guess if it isimportant. You can use words. You do not have to rely solely on sensoryacuity. Words can be useful.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE

Today's outcome

Today, begin to correlate eye movements with tone/tempo.

How does an auditory sound?


51

DATE

Today's outcome _

Today, correlate visuals' eye movements with tone/tempo.

How do visuals sound?


52

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, correlate kinesthetics' eye movements with tone/tempo.

How do kinesthetics sound?


53

DATE

Today's outcome

54

Today, pick up on a shift from one representational system to anothersimply by voice tone/tempo shifts. This may take more than one day.Keep this in mind.

WHAT HAPPENED?


Today, guess another's representational system within one minute of atelephone conversation while keeping track of content.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


ss

WHAT HAPPENED?

Do not necessarily count on the answer of the other as being correct.Much of these processes go on outside the other's awareness.

Do not count on your own guesses either at this point. Later you willfind your own guesses are usually correct, no matter what the verbalresponse of the other. But not yet.

56

Today's outcome

DATE

Today, check out your one-minute telephone guess (yesterday's task)of the representational system of the other with a question such as, "Wereyou making a picture when you said ?" or "What were youfeeling when you said ?" or "Were you listening to an internaltape when you said ?"



WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, correlate eye movements, representational system predicates,and tone/tempo of the other. Is s/he staying in one system for oneminute, then shifting, or is s/he using several systems in one sentence? Or,is the other stuck in one representational system?

57

Today's outcome

DATE

DATE

Today's outcome _

58

Today, correlate eye movements, representational system predicates,tone/tempo and content. Is there ambiguity or incongruence?

WHAT HAPPENED?



WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, correlate body postures, eye movements, tone/tempo withcontent. Make some guesses about the other person'sperceptions/thinking /behavior sequence that would not ordinarily beavailable as conscious information. Do not count on your guesses as true.This is practice.

59

Today's outcome

DATE

DATE

Today's outcome

SYNOPSIS--

What have you learned?

What are three outrageous successes in outcomes?

What do you need to work on?


60

Today, begin to play around with eliciting the strategies of your familyor close friends. Strategies are sequences of visual, auditory andkinesthetic perceptions or memories that lead to a decision point. Thedecision point is called the exit of the strategy. What perceptions andthinking processes do they use to

DATE

Today's outcome

get out of bed?

know when they are hungry?

decide to have a picnic?

Here is a good strategy:

Visual image -- sounds -- feelings -- 2'ood feelinf! -- EXITless-good feeling

WHAT HAPPENED?

This would be notated:

V -- A -- K -- K+ -- EXITK-

61

You will have to make educated guesses for strategies of others. Havefun.


-----

Today, discover your own learning strategy. How do you know youknow something?

II

Il

DATE

Today's outcome

How do you know that you do not know something?


~-

62

WHAT HAPPENED?

People perceive, think about perceptions, then act on their conclusions.

or A -- V -- Kor K -- V -- A

63

Today's outcome

DATE

Today, you will begin to notice the sequences of the perceptions andthe thinking processes that are the most comfortable and habitual for theothers. Today, make notes in a safe environment of someone else'sperceptual sequence. Does s/he get the picture then talk it over, then get afeeling? Ask someone how s/he decided to buy a car, a house or the lastexpensive purchase. Watch his/her eyes, postures, gestures: listen topredicates and tone/tempo. Make notes about a possible sequence used asa buying strategy. For example

If this assignment is too difficult, look back over the last 60 pages andpractice some of those exercises again. You select the exercise that will beuseful for you now.


DATE 64

Today's outcome

Today, repeat yesterday's task with someone else. Notice the exit pointof the decision to buy. Usually people compare two images or two feelingsand select the best to exit. Some people select the least painful. Thisnotation is for the strategy the other person uses to exit from the decisionmaking process.

compare

compare

compare

V+ -- ExitV-

A+ -- ExitA-

K+ -- ExitK-

iIl

If this assignment is too difficult, select an easier assignment tocomplete again.

WHICH COMPARISON DID I FIND?


Today, notice people who are in rapport and people who are not inrapport.

DATE

Today's outcome

Take a break from strategies.

WHAT WERE THE EXTERNAL SIGNS OFRAPPORT AND NON-RAPPORT?


65

DATE

Today's outcome

What is your own buying strategy?

HOW COULD I IMPROVE MY BUYINGSTRATEGY?


66

DATE

Today's outcome

How do you get yourself out of bed in the morning?


67

DATE _

Today's outcome _

How do you decide to take up a new hobby, task or activity?


68

Today, talk as little as possible. Notice how much you cancommunicate non-verbally?

DATE

Today's outcome

Write down your successes.


69

Today, do not talk unless imperative. Discover how to establishrapport with someone without words.

I

•••••••••••• u_

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT DID I LEARN?


70

Today, talk only when spoken to, and only if you have not been ableto find a non-verbal response.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


71

DATE

Today's outcome

72

Today, do not talk unless you absolutely must. Notice the effect ofsilence on others. Notice skin color changes.

WHAT HAPPENED?


WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, do not talk unless absolutely necessary. Notice body postures,skin colors, minute muscle changes, lower lips, and· breathing changes inothers. Correlate this information with content. Make guesses. Do notbelieve your guesses are necessarily accurate.

DATE

Today's outcome

73


DATE

Today's outcome

74

Today, speak when necessary. Become creative in non-verbal gestures.Notice your own perceptual sequences.

WHAT HAPPENED?


Today, begin talking again. Speak no more than three sentences andwait for a response.

DATE

Today's outcome

How is your communication different than four days ago?

Are you more effective or less?

Are you getting your outcomes?


75

•••••

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, get your outcome without using words.

WHAT HAPPENED?


76

Today, talk too much and notice your energy level and the energy levelof those with whom you communicate.

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


77

DATE

Today's outcome

78

•.....

Today, slow down or speed up your speech to match those aroundyou. Then mis-match your speech in a safe place.

WHA T HAPPENED?



WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, lower your voice or go to a higher pitch to match those withwhom you communicate. Do not take risks with this. Do it with safecompanions.

79

Today's outcome

DATE

Today, match finger gestures with those with whom you communicate.Know your outcome for the day.

-

DATE

Today's outcome

WHAT HAPPENED?


80

DATE

Today's outcome

Today, elicit other people's outcomes.

WHAT HAPPENED?


81

DATE

Today's outcome

82

•••••

Today, guess other people's real outcomes that they could notarticulate. Your guesses may not be accurate, but they probably are.

WHA T HAPPENED?



WHAT HAPPENED?

Today, dovetail. This means you seek obvious ways to gain youroutcome. At the same time be sure the other person or other peopleinvolved gain their outcomes as well.

83

Today's outcome

DATE

DATE

Today's outcome

84

-

Today, dovetail. Be creative in finding ways for both or all of you toobtain your outcomes.

WHAT HAPPENED?


DATE 85

Today's outcome

Today, dovetail. Try a thinking process you've never tried before (suchas pretending to be your potential adversary) in order to dovetail withsomeone who seems to be blocking you from your outcome.

If you do not interact with a potential adversary, then save thisexercise for a day when. you will have a potential adversary. Repeat a pastexercise that would be useful for you at this point in your training.

WHAT HAPPENED?


•.... --

DATE _

Today's outcome _

Today, dovetail using a thought process you have not tried before.

WHAT HAPPENED?


86

•


WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?

Today, dovetail with your boss, your spouse, your waitress at lunch.Notice what happens to the energy level of those involved in dovetailing.Look up the word, synergy, in the dictionary.

87

Today's outcome

DATE

~

DATE _

Today's outcome _Today, dovetail in a new way.

WHAT HAPPENED?


88

•

DATE

Today's outcome

89

Today, dovetail in a way that S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S your skills to theutmost. Enjoy the challenge.

WHAT HAPPENED?


How will this new level be better than the usual way we communicatein our culture now?

Congratulations on completing ninety days of exercises towardcommunication excellence.

What is your best fantasy about a new level of communication betweenpeople?

90

Today's outcome


What will you feel?

What will you hear?

What is the most important thing you've learned in the last 89 days?

What will you see in this new level?

DATE

SYNOPSIS--

PRACTICE FOR PAYOFF

SKILLS

SOME NEW SOME OLDRAPPORT

Have you noticedWhen you had rapport?When you did not have rapport?

Have you triedMatching predicates?Matching voice?Mirroring?Crossover mirroring?

RECOGNIZING STATES

Do you recognize confusionunderstandingacceptancerejectionof those you work with?

CHANGING STATES

Have you changed an internal stateto one more appropriate for your outcome?

Have you changed another's internal stateto one more useful for them and for you?

OUTCOMES

Have you used the ABC's of Outcomes?

POINTERS

Have you used the pointers?Which ones?

91

•••

PEGASUS

Have you tried the meeting format?the relevancy challenge?the evidence procedure?the outcome made visible?

METAPHOR

Have you used a metaphor?a simple metaphor?a point of view metaphor?a complex metaphor?

MARQUEEING

Have you established a Q-key (stimulus for a new response)?recognized a Q-key?used marqueeing (anchoring) on yourself?

NEGOTIATING

Have you used any of the negotiation tactics?restate?validate?clarify?probe?

Did you look/listen for the intentbehind the demand?

Did you look/listen for the outcomebehind your opponent's attack?

Did you avoid irritators?Did you label questions and suggestions?Did you use "I" languageDid you state your reasons beforemaking you proposal?

Did you give few reasons, not many?Did you use the summary at importantpoints?

Did you use sensory acuity whensummarizing?

Did you express your feelings?

92

I'i

fl

•

Did you decide on your outcome beforethe negotiation?

Did you use the As If for findingtheir outcome?

Did you find an outcome large enoughfor both opposing outcomes?

Did you look for options?Did you use any of the Change Realitytechniques

on yourself?on your opponent?

Were you able to dovetail outcomes?

93

90 Days To Communication Excellence - Unknown.pdf

Documents

selectone skill

orkooqkby geniez

goodcomm improvethe

goalsof eachindividualin

mastercardor americanexpress

discountsfor multipleorders

iithe syntonic model

seldomthink aboutcommunication