80 Hours Training Module Index

8/13/2019 80 Hours Training Module Index

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Basic Table Manners

1. SIT DOWN AND CLAIM YOUR PROPERTY

There are so many rules about proper table manners that it would take forever to

list every item. So let's move right to the meal. But wait! Should a man draw out

a ladys chair before she sits? ell it depends. "f they are together at a nice

restaurant sure. But at a nice restaurant the person who seats the couple will

probably draw the chair out for her so you have nothing to worry about. This

leads to...

#$%$& ( T") *+

,or all -uestions involving eti-uette ust use your brains

/en don't have to get all 0ictorian and insist on standing up every time a

woman leaves or returns to the table. 1ust be polite. %ow if you're a guest at

someone's house don't sit until the host does 2unless the host has told you to

ust go ahead and sit down at the table3. "n fact when dealing with hostsremember4

#$%$& ( T") *5

%ever do anything until the host does it first

This includes sitting eating putting your napkin on the table and

leaving. fter all the host is paying for the event so at least make him6her feel

like 2s3he's in charge.

78 so we've overcome the enormous hurdle of sitting to dinner. %ow it's

time to take stock and figure out which tableware is yours. t some time or the

other we've all gone out to dinner and used the fork glass bread plate of the

person seated ne9t to us. $mbarrassing? So here's a shortcut so that you can

know e9actly what is yours: 2+3 ;our plate is in the center. 253 8nives and

spoons are on your right and forks and your napkin on the left. 2


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=ere's an e9ample of what the layout of cutlery and crockery in front of you

may look like:

There might be more forks knives or spoons depending on the type of

meal but you get the general idea. "f you need another shortcut remember that

your drink is always on the right because the first two letters in the word

> &ink> stand for > rink &ight.> @atchy eh? 1ust know that your bread plate is

on the other side and you're set!

7ne note if you happen to be the host: remember that all items 2e.g.

salad meal wine water3 should be brought to each diner's &"#=T and cleared

from each diner's ($,T. That's why the glasses are all on the right.

2. USE YOUR TABLEWARE CORRECTLY

78! ;ou know where your stuff is. But now it's time to know how to use

everything properly. Take your napkin and place it on your lap right away when

you sit down. 2"t should never be on the table.3 on't get fancy and try to snap it

open. 1ust put it on your lap 2%7T into your shirt3. "f you're a man do not put

your tie over your shoulder.

%ow you can take some bread from the breadbasket. Take only one slice

of bread. =ere's a common mistake: 7 %7T butter your bread at this point.

This is how to do it:

Take some butter and put it on your plate not on the bread. %ow you

have your own little pile of butter and won't continually fish from the communal

butter dish.

Tear off a biteAsi ed piece of your bread.

Butter that biteAsi ed piece from your own little butter pile.

$at it with delight.

The first part of the meal comes: the appeti ers. But what cutlery should you

use? ;ou can find the answer in4

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#$%$& ( T") *


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method consists of not switching hands and using the left hand for all forkA

related activities.

Before we move on remember the thing we said about not letting the knife

touch the table? That's because4

#$%$& ( T") *E: ;ou should never let any cutlery once used $0$& touch

the table again

This includes leaning a fork onto the plate or using a knife and putting it

back in its original place. The original reason is because the fork could dirty the

tablecloth 2a ma or fau9 pas3 and result in a cleaning bill for the host. So oncean item of crockery is used its lifespan is over. (eave it on the plate at all times.

7ne last note should be made about soup. /any people do not know how

to correctly use a soup spoon so we will supply you with4

#$%$& ( T") *F: o not put the entire soup spoon in your mouth

"nstead fill a soup spoon about GEH with soup bring it up to your mouthand sip it from the side with as little slurping as possible. hen your soup runs

low it's acceptable to tip your bowl away from you so that you can capture the

last bits of soup but don't do that more than twice. nd remember to lower your

spoon into your soup gently so that it doesn't clang against the bottom of the

bowl. "magine 5I noisy people eating soup!!

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3. EAT PROPERLY (AND REFRAIN FROM OFFENDING OTHERS)

So now you are sitting at a lovely dinner using your tableware in the most

proper way possible. nd then theres an enormous burp. hoops! There is a

lot more to table manners than ust using the right fork! ;ou also have to have

correct manners with regard to how you eat.

Postu !

lways sit straight up in your chairJ never lean backward nor forward. %ever

let your elbows touch the table 2though you may put your hands on the table.

hile eating do not bring your face towards the plate but bring the fork6spoonup to you. ;ou're the master! But what if you drop something? ;ou should

signal suavely to a waiter so that 2s3he can replace the item. 2 on't pick up the

dirty fork and put it on the table. That's ust gross.3 But if it's your napkin that

escaped ust e9cuse yourself as you lean down pick it up and continue with

whatever you were doing.

P"ss#$% stu&&

"f someone asks for something to be passed to him or her only reach for it if

you are the closest one to the item. "n that case take the one item and place it

directly ne9t to your neighbor. 2 o not pass it from handAtoAhand.3 @ontinue

passing the item in this manner until the original re-uester has the item. nd

oddly enough you are not allowed to help yourself to the item until the original

re-uester has had a chance at it 2after all 2s3he asked first3. hen that person isdone you can ask the item to be passed back to you.

S"'t "$ ! !

n additional note needs to be made about using salt and pepper: if someone

asks you to pass the salt do it in the same manner above but pass B7T= the

salt and pepper 2even if only one of the two was asked for3. gain do not

attempt to use the salt until after the original re-uester has had a chance with it.

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lso %$0$& use salt or pepper on your food until you have tasted it. "t's a

huge insult to the cook if you try to add flavor before even tasting it. nd while

we think it's blatantly obvious we'd feel guilty if we didn't remind you: don't

ever season a dish that everyone is supposed to share 2not with salt pepper

catsup parmesan cheese not with anything3. 8eep your own creative additions

to your own plate.

*E+," "ss#$%* Mo+!$ts

id you burp? id you spill something? To handle these little unfortunate

accidents ust try to assume the air of a 1ames Bond and think: be classy beclassy be classy. "f anything comes out of your mouth other than speech 2e.g.

burp hiccup chicken nugget3 ust e9cuse yourself -uietly 2to nobody in

particular3 and put your napkin to your lips. This is a good time to talk about

general napkin eti-uette. %ever smear your napkin all over your face or wipe

your mouth hard. 1ust use it to blot your mouth. But if you spill something then

follow4

#$%$& ( T") *G: "f you spill something don't make a big deal of it

"t happens. 1ust be calm -uietly apologi e try to prevent anything from spilling

onto the person sitting ne9t to you by using your napkin and get a waiter to

help you control the damage. "f something spills onto someone's clothes do

%7T try to get it off his or her clothes. That's technically known as a >se9ualharassment lawsuit waiting to happen.> )oint it out let them clean it up offer to

pay the dry cleaning bill and then let it go. =ey as we all learned when we

were two years old accidents happen and they can often be wet and messy. 1ust

keep your cool.

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Us#$% -ou $%! s

big -uestion regarding eating properly is when it's 78 to use your fingers

and when you must use a fork. hile we provide a small list of finger foods

there is a tip you can follow which is...

#$%$& ( T") *K: "f you're not sure whether or not you can eat something

with your fingers ust use the crockery

=ey we're not brain surgeons here but this ust makes sense. Better to be overA

careful than underAcareful. s for foods that you can eat with your fingers theyinclude:

Sandwiches

@ookies

Small fruits or Berries with stems

,rench ,ries and )otato @hips

=amburgers and =ot ogs

Take your time! on't fill your mouth with too much food. Try to eat at the

same pace as your host so that you all finish at the same time. "t is not a

compliment when someone leans over and says >Boy good thing you didn't eat

the plate> or > anna finish some time before the ne9t thaw?>

/omAisms

1ust think of this as the potpourri of things you've heard all your life about table

manners. /ost of them were +IIH correct:

ont grab food.

ont talk with your mouth full.

@hew with your mouth closed and without a sound.

$9cuse yourself if you get up to go somewhere 2e.g. washroom to make a call3

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ont pick something out of your teeth. 2 ust e9cuse yourself to go to the

washroom3

ont leave lipstick smears on anything.

ont put Lstuff on the table 2meaning a purse papers keys3

ont smoke.

ont tilt or s-uirm in your chair.

. FINISH WITH A FLOURISH

)hew! ;ou made it through the entire meal and you are ust about ready to

leave! So how do you end with a good impression 2aside from the one you lefton the seat3? ell since you read the section on pacing and everyone else is

ust about done here's the landing procedure: place your knife and fork on the

plate so that they are parallel to each other at the eleven o'clock position 2a

diagonal from bottom right to top left3 with the points facing away from you.

This is different from the >M> position with the knife and fork crossing like an

M over your plate which indicates that you are not done with the plate butmerely resting between bites. To correctly use the >M> position the fork bottom

should be on the left and the knife bottom on the right. )lace your napkin ne9t

to your plate on the table 2but again %$0$& until everyone is done eating and

drinking3. )lace it loosely on the table 2not twisted or crumpled3 and don't put it

on the chair 2or the chair might get dirty3. fter the bill is paid stand up make

sure you have your belongings thank your host and leave. )erhaps your hostwill leave with you. 7bserve the right eti-uette while e9iting the room.

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Business Etiquette

Et#/u!tt! 0$o '! %! B"s! Bus#$!ss Et#/u!tt! T# s

N. hat is the proper time to arrive for an appointment?

. lways arrive on time for an appointment. AAA%ever arrive late. AAA rrive

no more than five minutes early.

N. "s it impolite to ask an e9ecutive of a company for payment of

outstanding invoices?

. ,or services rendered it is not considered impolite to re-uest payment.

=owever you should first contact your billing representative before

approaching the e9ecutives or principals of the company.

N. @an " e9change business cards while dining?

. Business cards should never be e9changed while dining. This is true at

even the most informal dining situations.

N. hat is the proper way to display flags?

. hen displaying flags at business civic or social events the "ndian flagis placed on the speaker's right. State and organi ations' flags are placed

on the speakers left or to the audience's right.

N. =ow should " e9change gifts with my coworkers at the office during the

holiday season?

. ,irst always observe the company's specific gift giving policy. Second

employees should be discreet when e9changing gifts with one another.#ifts should be e9changed away from other coworkers so as not to

offend employees not receiving any gifts.

N. @an " hold a drink when in a receiving line?

. lcoholic beverages are inappropriate in a receiving line. %either the

>greeters> standing in the line nor the guests being introduced should

have a drink in hand.

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N. =ow can " get more privacy in my cubicle without being rude to my

coworkers?

. "f you are a cubicle worker who is constantly >challenged> by a lack of

privacy at your workplace propose to management that a '@ubicle

orkers @ode of $thics' be established for workers in a common area.

N. =ow much perfume6cologne is acceptable to wear at work?

. )erfume cologne or aftershave should be applied sparingly evoking a

subtle scent. Strong fragrances as well as ine9pensive or >cheap>

fragrances are often offensive to business associates and therefore

inappropriate at a professional venue.

Co++u$# "t! Et#/u!tt!

N. hat is the proper way to answer the phone?

. hen answering the phone at your desk say...>=ello this is /r. Smith>

o not use phrases such as >/r. Smith here!> or simply >=elloP.

N. hat is the polite way to leave a voice mail message?

. &epeat your name and telephone number twice when leaving a voice mail

message.

N. hat is the best way to utili e a homeAoffice telephone system?

. "f you have a homeAbased business..."nstall a second line for businessAuse

only and have an automatic answering system that picks up automatically

if you are on the other line thereby eliminating busy signals and

portraying a professional image to your clients.

N. hen receiving a telephone call at work should you say the name of the

company?

. "f you are answering the telephone at a business place it is polite to state

the companys name in your greeting.

N. @an " use my company letterhead for personal correspondence?

. void using business stationery for nonAbusiness letters such as personal

thankAyou notes and invitations to events that are not business related.

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N. "f you receive a retirement gift from a group of individuals should you

send a handwritten thank you card or use a wordAprocessing programme

and send a copy to the entire group?

. handwritten thankAyou card on nice personal stationery 2not company

letterhead3 would be more appropriate than a typed and signed letter. "f

the gift was sent by your previous company's department or unit you

could simply send a thankAyou card to the department head director or

communication contact. =owever if you knew each sender personally

you should send individual thankAyou cards to each person. This simple

act of kindness will show that you appreciated their gesture and valuetheir friendship.

N. "f you have received a phone call from someone whose number you did

not have originally but it was captured on @aller " 2no message was left

on your voice mail3 is it inappropriate to call the person back?

. ;es it is appropriate to call someone back only when he or she re-uests a

call back and leaves their return phone number.N. re speakerphones rude?

. %o simply ask permission before putting a person on the telephone's

speakerphone.

N. hen should a thankAyou card be sent after receiving a gift?

. lways remember to send a thankAyou note or card within two weeks of

receiving a gift. =owever sending a late thank you acknowledgingreceipt of a gift is better than sending a belated correspondence.

N. ho calls back when disconnected on the telephone?

. hen there is poor telephone connection or when you are disconnected

the individual who originated6initiated the call is responsible for calling

back the other party.

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N. Should you send thank you cards to family for @hristmas6holiday gifts?

. thankAyou card should always be sent if you did not open the gift in the

gift givers presence or anytime you wish to e9press sincere appreciation

for a gift received.

N. t my recent surprise birthday party " received some generous gifts and

some less valuable gifts. re thank you notes sent to everyone regardless

of gift si e?

. "t is customary to send a thankAyou card for all gifts received regardless

of gift si e or value.

N. hat is a polite way to turn down a dinner invitation?. hen replying to an invitation convey your sincere regret by responding

with something such as Thank you for the kind invitation but " will be

unable to attend as " have a previous engagement.

N. hen is it appropriate to address someone by their first name?

. Cse first names when addressing someone only after being asked to do

so.N. =ow should " respond to an invitation to a formal event when there was

no response card enclosed with the invitation?

. "f an &S0) with a telephone number is given on the invitation a

phone call with your reply is sufficient. "f however the formal invitation

was issued in the thirdAperson format a reply note written also in the

thirdAperson is appropriate. ,or additional information regarding &S0)s please consult the /anners 5III 0olume " Social #races and Table

/anners 0ideo.

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N. "s it necessary to apologi e for not immediately returning a phone call

that had originally been initiated by you?

. ll telephone calls should be promptly returned regardless of who

initiated the original phone call.

N. ;ou have sent out invitations for a sit down luncheon at a restaurant and

have still not received a response from numerous people. Should you call

the people and verify their schedule and how soon before luncheon

should you contact them?

. ;es it is appropriate to call the guests so that you may give the restaurant

an accurate head count. 7ne week in advance would be an appropriatetimeframe.

N. hat is the proper eti-uette when using @ (($& " ?

. hen using @ (($& " avoid greeting a caller by using his name

before he says >=ello> and identifies himself.

N. =ow soon should " reply to a holiday event or party invitation?

. &eply 2&.S.0.)3 to an invitation as soon as possible A preferably withinone week after receiving the invitation.

N. "s it rude to use your cell phone in a social environment?

. lways use discretion when using a cellular phone in a social

environmentJ refrain from making cell phone calls and only answer

cellular calls after e9cusing yourself from the immediate area.

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Effective Listening

=ave you ever spoken to someone and then felt the need to say > id you

hear what " ust said?> hy did you feel the need to ask? )robably because thelistener didnt respond in a way that indicated that you had been heard.

(istening is the most important yet often the most neglectedcommunication skill. "n fact the ability to listen is often rated one of the topfive abilities employers seek in their staff. "t's also certainly highly sought afterin the people who are dear to us.

=ere are +I ways to be an effective listener:+. &ecogni e the difference between hearing and listening A

There is a very distinct difference between hearing and listening. =earingis to merely perceive sound. (istening is the mindful conscious act anddesire to hear comprehend and respond to others.

5. Be willing to listen ABegin with a commitment to listen A be open minded and consider other

points of view. (isten regardless of whether you agree or disagree withwhat's said. &esist the urge to ump to conclusionsJ avoid being defensiveor argumentative with the speaker.


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E. $mpathi e ABe sensitive compassionate and understanding A reali e it may be difficultfor the speaker to talk about this matter. $mpathy doesn't mean you have to

agree with the speaker. void thinking about how to >one up> the speakerwith your own tale of woe.

F. Be patient Ae often interrupt because we are afraid we will forget our point2s3. on't

interrupt A allow the speaker to finish what she6he has to say. on't finishthe speaker's sentences because you think they're taking too long to get tothe point. ,ocus on what is being said instead of what you think is goingto be said.

G. $liminate interruptions and distractions Ahen possible speak in a neutral location to avoid interruptions and

distractions.Be aware of and avoid interruptions A phones or pagers 2use voice mail3visitors 2close the door3 and distractions 2voice mail light overflowing in

bo9 incoming mail3.K. Seek Cnderstanding A

,ocus on the main points. )araphrase and seek clarification of points thatare unclear or that you don't understand.

O. Show you're actively listening A(isten with more than ust your ears. cknowledge and respond to thespeaker with facial e9pressions 2smile nod6shake your head make eyecontact3 and verbal comments 2>" see > >" understand > >okay > >yes>3 toaid the conversation.

+I. Simply (isten ASometimes our idea of listening is to ump in and give unwanted advice.(istening is not an open invitation to resolve a dilemma. 1ust listen

because often the speaker simply seeks a sympathetic ear.

hether you are a manager or employee husband or wife parent or child pastor or parishioner friend or foe listening is critical to the success of yourrelationships. Take the time to truly listen to others and discover that you'll not

only improve your relationships you will achieve a new level of overall successin your life. pply these techni-ues today so you can en oy a better tomorrow!

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Fostering a Positive Self-Image

W4"t #s s!'&6#+"%!7

SelfAimage is the personal view we have of ourselves. "t is our mental image or

selfAportrait. SelfAimage is an internal dictionary that describes the

characteristics of the self such as Lintelligent Lbeautiful Lugly Ltalented

Lselfish and Lkind. These characteristics form a collective representation of our

assets and liabilities as we perceive them.

Ho #s s!'&6#+"%! !5!'o ! 7

SelfAimage is a product of learning. )arents or caregivers make the greatestcontribution to our selfAimage. They are mirrors reflecting back to us an image

of ourselves. 7ur e9periences with others such as teachers friends and family

add to the image in the mirror. &elationships reinforce what we think and feel

about ourselves. The image we see in the mirror may be a real or distorted view

of who we really are. Based on this view we develop either a positive or a

negative selfAimage. The strengths and weaknesses we learn as children are

internali ed and affect how we act as adults today. e continually take in

information and evaluate ourselves. =ow do " look? e have a mental image of

our physical appearance. =ow am " doing? e have a performance image of

our successes and failures. =ow important am "? e have an inner sense of our

ade-uacy and value. ith a positive selfAimage we own our assets and potential

while being realistic about our liabilities and limitations. negative selfAimage

focuses on our faults and weaknesses distorting failure and imperfections.

SelfAimage is important because how we think about ourselves directly

affects how we feel about ourselves and how we respond to life. SelfAimage can

determine the -uality of our relationships with others. =ow we think and feel

about ourselves influences the way we react or respond to life stressors.

positive selfAimage affects our physical mental social emotional and spiritual

well being.

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Ho "$ ! !"t! " os#t#5! s!'&6#+"%!7

A selfAimage is not permanently fi9ed. )art of our selfAimage is dynamic and

changing. e can learn to develop a healthier and more accurate view of

ourselves thus changing the distortions in the mirror. change in ones selfA

image is a process that happens over a lifetime. healthy selfAimage starts with

learning to accept and love ourselves. "t also means being accepted and loved by

others.

S ! # st! s to &ost! " os#t#5! s!'&6#+"%!

;ou can take the following steps to begin fostering a positive image of yourself:

Take a selfAimage inventory

efine personal goals and ob ectives

Set realistic and measurable goals

@onfront thinking distortions

"dentify childhood labels

Stop comparing yourself to others

evelop your strengths

(earn to love yourself

#ive positive affirmations

&emember that you are uni-ue

(earn to laugh and smile

&emember how far you have come

W4"t #s ,o -6#+"%!7

BodyAimage is a part of selfAimage. 7ur bodyAimage includes more than our

physical appearance or how others see us. "t also refers to how we think feel

and react to our own selfAperceived physical attributes. BodyAimage

development is affected by cultural images and the influence of family peers

and others. positive bodyAimage contributes to enhanced psychological

ad ustment 2less depression positive awareness of self worth satisfaction with

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life less interpersonal an9iety fewer eating disorders3. istortion in our

thinking contributes to a negative bodyAimage.

Ho "$ ! !$4"$ ! ou ,o -6#+"%!7

body image is not fi9ed. 7ur body e9periences change as we grow older and

each stage in our life is associated with bodyAimage markers. Building a

positive bodyAimage is a lifelong process. @hanging bodyAimage means more

than changing our body. "t means changing how we think feel and react to our

body. eight management and surgery are two ways to alter the body. (earning

to have a positive relationship with an imperfect body increases the ability tolose weight. Surgery can be a catalyst for changing how we see ourselves.

$9tensive e9terior remodeling however also re-uires e9tensive interior

changes in bodyAimage.

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Goo !ustomer Service

"f you truly want to have good customer service all you have to do is ensure

that in your business dealings you consistently do these things:

+. nswer your phone.

#et call forwarding or an answering service. =ire staff if you need to. But

make sure that someone is picking up the phone when someone calls your

business. 2%otice " say QsomeoneP. )eople who call want to talk to a live

person not a Qrecorded robotP.35. ont make promises unless you "(( keep them.

%ot Q)lan to keep themP but Q ill keep themP. &eliability is one of the

keys to any good relationship and good customer service is no e9ception.

"f you say Q;our new bedroom furniture will be delivered on TuesdayP

make sure it is delivered on Tuesday. 7therwise dont say it. The same

rule applies to client appointments deadlines etc. Think before you make

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E. Be helpful A even if theres no immediate profit in it.

=ere is an anecdote that illustrates the above statement.

The other day " popped into a local watch shop because " had lost the small

piece that clips the pieces of my watch band together. hen " e9plained

the problem the proprietor said that he thought he might have one lying

around. =e found it attached it to my watch band R and charged me

nothing! here do you think "ll go when " need a new watch band or even

a new watch? nd how many people do you think "ve told this story to?

F. Train your staff to be helpful courteous and knowledgeable ( ;S.

o it yourself or hire someone to train them. Talk to them about good

customer service and what it is 2and isnt3 regularly. /ost importantly

give every member of your staff enough information and power to make

those small customerApleasing decisions so he never has to say Q" dont

know but soAandAso will be back at...P

F. Take the e9tra step.

,or instance if someone walks into your store and asks you to help themfind something dont ust say Q"ts in isle


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PERSONALITY GROOMING FOR GUYS

=aving a few good grooming habits and some fashion sense is pretty much

mandatory. Cnless you are an e9tremely cool person people will have a hard

time looking past a sloppy e9terior. )utting more thought into your appearance

is one of the easiest ways to improve your social prospects. nd why not live up

to the full potential of your appearance?

The biggest barriers to doing this are:

(a iness

,ear of change

Thinking it's all a chore

)oor selfAimage

To e9pand on the selfAimage point you may not be able to handle the idea of

changing your look. ;ou may believe that deep down you are a certain way and

changing your appearance goes against that. ;ou may also see looking better as

turning you into one of 'them'.

t the very least you should eliminate any poor grooming and dressing habits

you have. Those will actively turn people off.

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=ere are some basic tips to help you look better:

B"s# % oo+#$%

+. "t may seem condescending to say this but some people don't attend to

these basic things. "f you don't it's a pretty big turn off to other people.

5. #room facial hair. void the patchy beard long black moustache hairs.


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/ake sure your hair is looking good. #row it out or have a cool haircut. #ood

looking hair can attract a lot of positive attention.

Stand up straight. lways keep your mouth closed and breathe through yournose. hen you breathe through your mouth a more slouching posture is

re-uired for proper airflow.

#et your teeth whitened or straightened if you can. 7bviously this isn't

something you can do in five minutes. So identify the problem and work on it.

#et in shape. "f you are fit people subconsciously pick up on it and think youlook better. Subtle differences in things like the si e of your chest muscles the

width of your shoulders or the 0Ashape in your torso show through. on't think

your only options are lifting weights or running on a treadmill. There are tons of

activities you can do that will make you fit. Take up rock climbing or kick

bo9ing or dancing. )ick something you en oy doing and that isn't an

unnecessary hassle to participate in. "f you truly don't like doing something orit's ust a pain to do it you'll -uit before long.

G!t ,!tt! 'ot4!s

This is one of the more important points. The money factor and the selfA

image factor can stop you. ;ou may think you don't know much about fashion

but possibly you have an idea deep down about what looks good. rigid selfA

image can make it hard to admit to yourself that you can wear these fabulous

clothes too.

#o to a store that sells nice clothes and start trying stuff on. ;ou can use

the staff's knowledge about style by asking them to help you pick out some

good outfits. ;ou may have some shirts that people often compliment you on.

nd yet you got them by literally walking into a good store and asking the staff

to help you >pick out some cool shirts.>

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D. elegate to the right person. on't always give tasks to the strongest most

e9perienced or first available person.

E. istribute delegation around and give people new e9periences as part of

their training.

F. 7btain feedback from employees to ensure they feel they're being treated

appropriately. simple >=ow's it going with that new pro ect?> might be

all that's needed.

G. Be sure to delegate the authority along with the responsibility. on't make

people come back to you for too many minor approvals.

K. Trust people to do well and don't look over their shoulders or check up

with them along the way unless they ask.

O. Be prepared to trade short term errors for long term results.

+I. hen you finish giving instructions the last thing to ask is > hat else do

you need to get started?> They'll tell you.

++. #ive praise and feedback at the end of the pro ect and additional

responsibilities.

5K


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Ho" to Get !oo%eration from &ther #e%artments

7ther departments may appear to slow you down. "n dealing with them

begin with an assumption that they are as competent as you are. $veryone isdoing his or her best and everyone is busy. &emember that ultimately you're all

on the same team. ;our positive attitude will get better results than antagonism.

Treat them as you would like to be treated.

=andle any special re-uests of other departments as you would handle a

task that you would delegate:

+. @larify the task to be done and the standards to be met.

5. $stablish a timetable.


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"f the person ob ects repeat the re-uest stating it slightly differently each

time. >1illian "'d like to get a copy of that report by tomorrow.> She answers

that she's too busy. >" can understand that you have a big workload. 2 void the

dreaded >but>3 " do need the report finished by tomorrow so can we find a way

to complete it somehow?>

sk > ould it be helpful if "4> Sometimes they can do a better ob if

you help first. ;our offer also displays genuine empathy.

Cse the phrase > hat would have to happen...> ,or instance >"

understand most of the staff has left for the day but what would have to happen

for this to be finished by tomorrow morning?> Sometimes the person mightsuggest a solution that you can help achieve: > ell "'d have to send it over in a

ta9i and we're not allowed to do that.> /aybe they can't authori e a ta9i but

you can.

on't appeal to a higher authority. "f you say >" need this done and " can

get my boss to speed things up if " have to > you may not succeed in getting the

ob done. "nstead build a relationship. Take an interest in things that areimportant to them.

"f problems persist keep a log of transactions. "nclude the date you sent

something to another department and the date you got it back. Cse this to

support process improvement not to blame someone.

@reate routines for standard re-uests from other departments that are

repeated. ,or instance automate your e9pense report. This isn't bureaucracy it'sefficiency.

7n the other hand get rid of routines that were created for occasional

e9ceptions that no longer occur. 7ld routines may be slowing other departments

down.

sk what the holdups are. @onvene a meeting to outline your concerns.

The other department might identify blocks that can be removed.


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Ho" to &vercome Team Tension

;oure working on a big pro ect. eadlines are approaching. /a or work

needs to be done. %umerous team members are involved. The goal is clear.t the beginning of the pro ect things go smoothly. But then trouble sets

in. "t starts out as a minor difference of opinion between team members. Then

theres a QstallingP in progress. =eels are dug in. )ositions become more firm.

rguments ensue and no one is happy. %othing gets done. "ts a case of team

tension.

)eople work on teams because collaboration allows productive activity toflourish. 7ne person doesnt have all the skills resources or knowledge to get

everything done. So teams are formed to foster synergy. The theory is that the

whole is greater than the sum of its parts. "ndividuals can make progress

whereas teams can make magic.

But difficulties can arise because not everyone sees a pro ect in the same

way. Team members bring different e9periences training and points of view totheir work. Sometimes these clash. The result is team tension.

R! o%$#8! t4! s-+ to+s

;oull e9perience team tension when you encounter the following symptoms:

Team members repeat points over and over to each other but no one

seems to be adding any new information that hasnt already been covered

numerous times. iscussions become more heated. rguments ensue.

;ou suggest options that are routinely re ected.

"ndividuals begin implementing one part of a decision theyve made

without informing other team members. This is progress by stealth.

;ou worry that there is an overwhelming issue no one has addressed and

that must be dealt with sooner or later. )erhaps you feel too intimidated to bring

it up.


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Someone threatens to -uit. This may not be an obvious threat R the hints

may be subtle. ,or instance you reali e that people arent pulling their weight

and progress becomes slack. 7r someone leaves a discussion with no

agreement or decision being made.

Team members use documentation to cover themselves. They write down

what they agreed to or what you did or didnt do or what they e9pect.

ocumentation is a useful tool but not when it masks unresolved differences.

Someone appeals to a higher authority to resolve the dispute. 7r they

suggest a vote. But bosses dont like to take sides and voting creates winners

and losers rather than consensus.So what are some practical ways to manage team tension? The first is to

simply acknowledge that it e9ists. This can take some bravery. "n the middle of

a meeting or in a oneAonAone conversation make a declaration: Q e seem to be

at an impasse here. "m sensing some tension about our differences. " wonder if

we could4P Then fill in the rest of the sentence with one of the suggestions

below.

TA0E A BREA0

llow the situation to rest for a while. Sleep on it. #o for a walk. Think it over

during the weekend. Share your thoughts with colleagues outside the team. "f

there has been a long buildAup to a disagreement it may not get resolved

-uickly. Be patient.

IN9OL9E A MEDIATOR

@onsider asking an ob ective outsider to help resolve differences. hen you do

be sure to present both sides thoroughly. Then listen for what your advisor has

to offer. void saying Q;eah youre right.P This often means youve heard

what is being said but you dont really get it and you plan to do nothing.

trained mediator can also help but only if both parties agree.


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DECIDE ON WHAT REALLY COUNTS

@onsider what you are really attached to. hat are your motivations for

pursuing a course of action? )erhaps what you think is of paramount

importance is not really essential to the pro ect. ,ocus on what makes a

difference and let the rest go. The conse-uences will probably be minimal.

LISTEN

o you really understand the other persons point of view? )ractice active

listening. This means hearing their comments in full rather than composing

your own response as they speak. Then repeat your understanding of what theother person said. @heck with her to see if you got it right. Sometimes your

empathy will encourage her to tell you more uncovering additional clues about

how to deal with her issues.

COMPROMISE

7ffer to concede a point or meet in the middle. ;oull be surprised at howaccommodating the other person can be when you Qblink first.P ont think of it

as backing down. Think of it as creating an opening towards a productive ne9t

step.

0EEP THE O:BECTI9E IN MIND.

"n a meeting remind everyone what the ob ective is. $nsure they all agree. Thenhelp them visuali e a picture of success. hen people reali e they are all

working towards the same goal they become less entrenched in their own

positions.


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LIST WHAT YOU AGREE ON

This techni-ue can work for two people or for a large group. (ist the sub ect at

the top of a piece of paper. Then write down everything you agree on. nyone

in the discussion gets a veto R if they dont agree on something it doesnt get

written down. (isting a series of agreements focuses peoples attention on core

values and common steps. nd when people discover items they agree on a

positive energy emerges that spurs further cooperation.

APOLOGI;E

=umility can go a long way to opening up conversations. pologi e for being bullish getting upset making accusations or even for not understanding

the ob ective properly. Then use one of the other techni-ues to find a genuine

path towards team commitment.

&emember that team tension is natural. "f your team consists of a variety

of strong individuals disagreements will naturally occur. "f they dont your

team may have too many conformists who are unwilling to challenge the status-uo. Strive to keep the differences minor and not longAlasting. hat you should

hope for is a situation where team members say Q e often disagree with each

other but we can always go out for a beer afterwards.P

"t isnt easy admitting that team tension e9ists. By breaking the ice you

allow others to admit that there is tension. 7nly then can you move towards a

better solution. $ventually someone on the team will thank you for being soforthright.

nd remember to keep in mind the perspective of time. /inor

differences today will eventually form the histories the stories and the

anecdotes that you will look back on as the team celebrates its success.


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Ho" to Plan 'our #a(

+. 0isuali e your long term picture of success and put it in writing. &eviewyour goal fre-uently. ;our goal should be specific measurable achievableand compatible with where you are now. There should be an end date aswell. Steven @ovey calls this >Begin with the end in mind.>

5. Try to do your planning at the same time every day. Cse this time toreview past accomplishments as well as things to do in the future.

"'m sorry " already have an appointment.>

O. on't pack your day with activities. (eave time for emergencies specialopportunities and thinking time.

+I. Be your own manager. sk yourself if you have met your goals and what

changes you plan to make to achieve them.++. o it now. )eople will often say >@all me ne9t week and we'll book an

appointment then.> &espond by saying >(et's save ourselves a call and doit now.>

+5. lways plan time for other areas of your life like family fitnessrecreation social and spiritual activities.

+


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Ho" to Pre%are For Meetings +. Try to call up people two or three different times to ensure their

attendanceJ5. /ake a formal invitation usually in person or by telephone at least two

weeks in advance.


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Ho" to Prevent Interru%tions

+. )revent interruptions from walkAin visitors by isolating yourself. @lose

your door. )ut up a sign. ork in a conference room. "f you work in an

office take a day to work on important pro ects at home if necessary.

5. on't feel obliged to have >an open door policy.> This allows people to

manage your time on their terms not on yours. >7pen door> means you're

generally available for honest communication from any level. "t doesn't

mean >always> available.


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W4!$ T4!- W"'< I$

hen someone asks for a few minutes of your time respond with >Sure

how about if " come by your office at 5 o'clock this afternoon?> This gives you

more control.

"f they insist that it's urgent ask them how many minutes they need then

agree to that time 2or tell them how much time you can give them3.

Stop people from telling stories. "nterrupt them and say >@an you

summari e how " can help you in one sentence?> "f they ramble on say >78 so

how can you sum up what you need from me?>

"f they're asking for help ask them what solution they propose?gree to help them with their re-uest but schedule a specific time to do it.

)revent Them ,rom Staying

hen someone walks into your office or cubicle immediately stand up.

That way your visitor is less likely to sit down and get comfortable.

"f you must place a binder or a briefcase on visitors' chairs to discourage

people from sitting down if they happen to drop in. 27r remove chairsaltogether.3

"nvent a meeting that you have to go to. @onfess that you promised to call

someone back about a confidential matter at e9actly this time. #o make some

photocopies. This will bring a meandering discussion to an end.

Set a time limit. Then check the time in an obvious way and make sure to

announce the end of the allotted time when it occurs.sk subordinates to >save up> items of importance and deal with them in

a bunch at an appointed time.

Be careful that your tactics aren't counter productive to the organi ation.

hat may benefit you as an individual may be detrimental to the team. "solating

yourself might frustrate others or cause them to waste their own time because

you weren't available for help.


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Ho" to )e uce Stress "ith the SP*)+LE Formula

S = S'!! !''.

;our bed is for sleeping reading and intimacy.hen your head hits the pillow its time to sleep not think

;our bed should %7T be for: watching television balancing your checkbook

planning the ne9t day arguing with your spouse checking your eAmail or

making phone calls.

hen in bed books are 78 laptops are not.

P = P'"$ !5! - "-.

@reate a toAdo list every morning. This gives you a3 a roadmap of what you

need to do at the beginning of the day b3 a reminder of what still needs to be

done throughout the day and c3 a place to check off your accomplishments at

the end of the day

A = A$t# # "t! '!ss.&ecogni e the false assumptions you make that lead to an9iety. ill things

really turn out to be as bad as you think? )robably not.

hen you look to the future visuali e success rather than failure. fter all you

really dont know which it will be. So why not e9pect the best?

R = R!'">.

Breathe deeply when you feel stressed. #et up and change your environment if

only for a short time.

#o for a walk at lunch.

&ela9ation means taking a break from what you were doing not ust Qvegging

out.P ,or instance watching television isnt always rela9ingJ it can be dumbing

and dulling. ,ind activities that calm your body and stimulate your mind.

@reate a time for your own kind of meditation. ,ind a -uiet space and a -uiet

time thats ust for you.


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0 = 0!! A$%! u$ ! o$t o'.

Be empathetic and forgiving to others when they make mistakes. (ike you

theyre trying to do their best.(earn to give constructive feedback rather than destructive criticism.

hen someone makes you angry remember that you have a choice in how you

react. "nstead of yelling at that bad driver who cut you off do a running playA

byAplay on his erratic driving techni-ues. "ts more fun.

L = L"u%4.

Cse positive affirmations to keep yourself on track.

ffirmations should use the D )s A personal positive passionate and present.

,or instance Q" am a confident and successful manager who always runs an

ama ing team.P

,ind time to share a oke. (augh at the curves life throws at you rather than

fretting over them.

E = E"t W!'' "$ E>! #s!.

;our body needs to be a wellAtuned machine to manage all of the stresses that

act on it.

void eating packaged snacks R anything that comes in a wrapper or plastic

bag. Try natural fruit instead.

dd more colored vegetables to your meals.&educe caffeine in your diet. "ts a stimulant and can e9acerbate physical

symptoms of stress that you may already have. @hoose water instead.

void the escalator or elevator and take the stairs.

,ind opportunities to go for a walk. "deally get e9ercise that causes you to

sweat for twenty minutes at least three times per week.

DI


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Ho" to Sa( ,o

+. e say >yes> to others because we want to please them. But when

eventually we can't continue we let them down and we feel guilty. Both parties suffer. &ecogni e that a desire to please often prevents us from

saying no.

5. Stick to your plan. "f you have a written set of goals and strategies this

gives you a reason to stick to your course. 2>Thanks but " already have an

investment plan so you don't need to send me a newsletter about stocks.>3

s " have already said our policy is to donate to charities

that help children only.>3

D. /ake sure you understand e9actly what is being asked of you before you

respond. )erhaps the task is more time consuming than you thought. 7n

the other hand it may not take much effort at all.

E. $9cel at ust a few things rather than being ust average at many. on't tryto do everything.

F. ;ou have a right to say no. &emember that others may take you for

granted and even lose respect for you if you don't.

G. Be polite but firm in saying no. ;ou only build false hopes with wishyA

washy responses. ,or instance the phrase >"'ll try to be there> in response

to a party invitation is giving yourself an e9cuse to avoid a commitment. "t

doesn't do anyone any favours.

K. hen a superior asks you to do a new urgent taskJ

a3 &emind her that you are working on other pro ects that she has already

identified as priorities

b3 sk for help in deciding where the new task should fall on the list of

priorities

c3 )oint out that you might be able to do everything but not to the usual

high standards that are e9pected.

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O. Some e9perts recommend keeping your answer short. This way you can say

no without feeling the need for a lengthy ustification. 2>"'m sorry "'m not

available that night.>3 7n the other hand others say that giving a longer answer

with reasons reinforces your credibility. (et the situation decide.

+I. )rovide suggestions or alternatives to the person who is asking. 2>" can't do

that task today but how about ne9t week > or >=ow about asking 1ohn

instead?>3

++. hen in doubt it's easier to say no now then change your mind to a yes

later rather than the other way around.

+5. Sometimes saying no is simply unavoidable. =ere are some techni-ues touse:

a3 Tell the person you can agree to their re-uest this time but ask how the

two of you might plan better for the ne9t time.

b3 Say yes but remind them they owe you one. ,or e9ample they might

cover you for a shift ne9t time you need time off.

c3 Say yes but take control by saying you'll come back to them with atimetable. ,or instance say >" e9pect "'ll be able to do that for you by the end of

the week.>

d3 )ut a tough condition on your agreement. >"f it would only take an hour

"'d be able to help but " can't give you more than that.>

D5


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Ho" to Set Goals

The ne9t time somebody tells you that setting goals is really a lot of hype

tell him this: if life is a ourney how will you get there if you dont have anitinerary?

So have a plan of attack. sk yourself:

+. hat do " know about this?

5. hat information do " have?


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richP but those would seem as far away as the %iagara ,alls viewed from

=awaii. "nstead try making tiny goals for different aspects of your life one or

two for each even more if you like. These areas are: family and home career

social physical mental and spiritual. "f you say Q" want to be a successful

dad P then try to make goals towards the development of your family life while

still keeping an eye out for ways to improve your career and other areas of your

life.

ont underestimate yourself. "ts tempting to sometimes ust slack off or

let yourself off too easy. "f you want to write the definitive merican novel

then dont try to churn out ust a page or two a day when you know you aremore than capable of writing five pages even ten. The fear of failure is

sometimes to blame for setting our goals too low. =ow often have we said Q"

dont really want to volunteer for that pro ect because " might fail and then my

colleagues will make fun of meP.

&emember that some fears are unfounded. =ow do you know youll

actually ruin it? nd how do you know for sure your coAworkers will laugh atyour effort? "f you try to reason with your fears more often than not youll

reali e that there really is no reason for you to be reluctant and that in fact you

can do it.

W #t! #t o $.

list of long term goals arranged as steppingAstones set down on paper

is more than ust memori ing it. ;ou are actually confirming your willingness

to make it come true. written list of goals is an effective reminder of what you

need to do and once youre done a good review of your accomplishment.

simple list on a piece of notebook paper is fine or using a computer program to

really a it up works ust as well. ;ou may want to hang it up somewhere as a

constant reminder to work toward your goals: inside your closet the door of

your medicine cabinet or on your bulletin board near your desk.

DD


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ffirm it. ffirmation is really more than writing down Q" am going to

buy my &s. G EI III home by @hristmasP twenty times. "ts actually being

conscious not only of your thought processes but also of your actions during

the day.

"f youre trying to save money and then you pass by a shop window

where a great pair of shoes seems to have your name on it think Q"f " buy those

shoes would " be making my goal of saving easier? ill " be able to meet my

deadline if " splurge ust this once? few months from now if " dont meet my

deadline because " didnt save enough would " feel good about it?P

Stop procrastinating. So youve heard this before. Big deal. ell it is.Time wastage is one of the greatest crimes in history. "f =enry ,ord put off

studying and tinkering with machines for another time someone else would

have improved on automobiles and he wouldnt have gone down in history as a

pioneer. "f youre used to procrastination being bullheaded about a goal can

seem scary at first. Try to set a schedule and then reward yourself each time you

meet it.

DE


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Ho" to Sim%lif( 'our Life

Think about your values and write down those that really matter to you.

hat is most important?+. Spending time with family?

5. ccumulating great wealth?

3

Stop being a slave to communication tools. o you really need an office

phone a home phone a cellular phone pager fa9 eAmail and internet

technology?

#ive away clerical tasks to others who can handle nonApriority activities.

Stop spending time to save money. "nstead spend money to save time.

on't drive across town to save a few cents on a grocery item. "t's not worth

your time. o hire someone to do chores you're not fond of.

DF


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@ancel subscriptions to maga ines you never get around to reading. 7nly

read one newspaper per day.

@ut back on television time. 7nly watch those shows you decide on

beforehand. @ircle them in the televisionAlisting maga ine. Then turn off the

television when the program is over. @ancel e9tra cable television packages for

channels you rarely watch. #o for broke. #ive up watching television

altogether.

@lean out your basement or your office. "f you're not using something

get rid of it. )ut an e9piry date on items when you can't decide to keep them or

not. #et rid of them when the e9piry date arrives.Nuit organi ations that aren't contributing to your advancement your

network or your fun

utomate repetitive clerical mechanical tasks. ,or instance set up

automatic bill payments. "nclude your automatic savings plan as part of your

monthly spending.

/ake a plan for the weekend that doesn't involve work. )lan to spendmore time with your family or with people who make positive contributions to

your life. Stop spending time with people who are a drain on your energy or

vitality.

@arry a smaller wallet or purse. Start by cleaning out the one you've got.

#et rid of unnecessary credit cards and other clutter that you don't use regularly.

Stop checking up on your financial portfolio every day. /ost peopleinvest for the long term. @hecking your results daily adds to stress and might

lead to e9pensive and unnecessary changes.

/ake time for yourself. Set aside time each day to reflect -uietly go for a

walk plan for your future or meditate. 0isit the park instead of the mall.

DG


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@ut back on debt. @onsolidate your different debts into one and pay it off.

)ut your credit cards in a spot where you won't be able to use them until you're

debtAfree. Track your e9penses for a month then cut back spending on items

you don't need. ,or instance pack a lunch rather than buy one at work. /i9 and

match your outfits rather than constantly buy new ones.

@onsider renting a vacation home rather than buying. ;ou won't be

burdened by time 2and money3 spent in maintenance. lso this allows you to

visit a different spot each year.

)lan time for a vacation every year. Some people claim >" haven't had a

vacation in three years> as if it were a badge of courage. "t isn't.@ut back on your children's planned activities. "f they have to use a time

planner to schedule their activities and you spend all of your time ferrying them

around they're probably too busy.

(ive closer to your work so you don't have to drive.

Take a moment each day to be grateful.

DK


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Ho" To Sto% Procrastinating

&ecogni e that procrastination stems from habit. %ew habits will be

needed and these take time and commitment to develop.=arold Taylor defines procrastination as the intentional and habitual

postponement of an important task that should be done immediately.

Cnderstand the cause for procrastination then develop strategies to fi9 it.

&ecogni e the difference between an appropriate decision to delay and

an irrational postponement without ustification.

,i9 procrastination by working on a3 tasks and b3 your environment:

TAS0 STRATEGIES

U$ '!"s"$t t"s


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F!" o& &"#'u ! ('" < o& s!'& o$ !$ !)

)eople don't want to face the conse-uences of failure so they delay. 2Some

people suffer from fear of success too!3

evelop a clear mental picture of the completed task and how you will feel at

that time. /aintain a focus on the end result not ust the process. &emind

yourself how good you'll feel when you're finished.

L" < o& #$t! !st

;ou are tired or la y. ;ou're ust not very interested in the task.

&eward yourself for accomplishments. #o out for special lunches when ma or pro ects are completed. "f you don't earn the reward don't take it.

Schedule the task for when you will be at your peak.

P! &! t#o$#s+

)eople delay because they want to get the pro ect perfect.

Set deadlines for yourself. Tell other people your deadlines and encourage themto check up on you.

/aintain your high standards but recogni e that sometimes KIH for you may

well be +IIH for someone else. on't spend hours conducting a detailed cost

breakdown when a rough estimate would suffice.

Host#'#t- to " s " ,oss)eople delay because they don't like the person who assigned the task.

&eview with your boss what e9actly is needed. @larify the e9pectations.

/ake a game out of unpleasant tasks. #ive yourself points or do a running

commentary on yourself as you do the task.

EI


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D#st " t#o$@ '" < o& &o us

Sometimes losing concentration causes delays.

@reate a QToA oP list with priorities.

Block your time for pro ects.

s you get distracted from a work pro ect make a rule that you are not

allowed to move out of your chair make a call surf the net pick up a book etc.

until you return to your task.

@omplete something. /ake a very small task for yourself and finish it.

0ery small. Then make another one.

EN9IRONMENT STRATEGIES

Tailor your environment for work. @lose your door clean up the clutter

on your desk.

&emove distractions such as water coolers snacks inAbo9es coffee

machines and maga ine racks.

"f you work at home treat your office as an office. on't go out to lunch before lunchtime or watch television before the end of the day.

Tell your family that you are not to be disturbed in your home office.

E+


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Ho" to se E-mail Effectivel(

+. Block off times to process your eAmail. Twice per day should be enough.

void the temptation to check eAmail more fre-uently.5. @heck the spelling of your eAmail before sending it. Spelling errors seem

generally accepted in eAmail. But go beyond acceptable. im for

e9cellence.


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++. There is a convention to intersperse someone else's original message with

points of your own when you reply. @onse-uently it takes a while to

figure out what is original and what is new. void wasting people's time.

@reate a proper response as you would a business letter. "nstead of leaving

an entire message that you received intact ust make a reference to it. They

don't need to read everything they wrote when you respond to them

+5. @onsider carefully what you writeJ it's a permanent record and can be

easily forwarded to others. %ever accuse people call them names suggest

they aren't being smart or critici e their spelling. ssume their intentions

are genuine. void sarcasm. Be polite and assertive if necessary 2i.e. tospammers3 but not vindictive.

+


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Ho" to Han le Pa%er"or$

+. @reate a block of time during nonAprime hours to handle paperwork.

Schedule this in your planner and stick to it.

5. Sort through and handle the papers in your inAbasket no more than twice a

day.

"'ll ust put this

here for now> habit.

D. Throw away previous drafts. They serve no purpose.

E. ,or items that will reach you ask your assistant to a3 sort it according to

urgency b3 highlight important aspects such as maga ine articles and c3

attach relevant files or information.

F. sk subordinates to submit recommendations along with important

reports. %othing should be sent to you without a summary or indicated

action.

G. (imit the length of letters recommendations responses meeting re-uests

and other correspondence to one page.

K. Try not filling out redundant sections of forms to see if anyone is reallyusing them.

O. sk people if reports they prepare 2or you prepare3 are really necessary.

)repare them only when needed not as a regular routine.

+I. on't keep copies of all your re-uests to others unless there are legal or

personnel reasons to do so.

++. o something with every piece of paper that reaches you and put it in its

proper place not ust back on the pile.+5. =andle routine re-uests or tasks immediately whenever you can.

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+F. @reate different file folders:

a3&eading files for long reports and maga ines. "f you read everything

when it arrives you will never get through your inAbasket. b3)ersonal file for those wacky interAoffice okes you want to keep 2but

will probably never look at again3

c3Training file for useful items on personal or professional development

d3Supplier file for information on products and services

e3,iles for each subordinate for items to pass on or discuss

f3"nvoices to pay

g3Cpcoming events to attend h37ne folder for each subordinate and for your manager

i37ne for each ma or pro ect you're working on

+G. Throw out last month's copy of a maga ine when this month's copy arrives.

"f you must save them only keep a year's worth. Stop subscriptions to

maga ines and newspapers you don't read anymore. This saves you money

as well as time and guilt.

+K. Schedule ma or reading for twice a week during nonApriority times. Tryreading on the subway bus or train while waiting for appointments or at

breakfast instead of reading the paper.

+O. hen you find items you keep putting off reading ask >=ow likely am " to

read this and how valuable is this information?> Throw it out.

5I. $9tra storage space ends up getting filled up -uickly. Try reducing or

throwing out e9tra paperwork collectors. (imit your stacking trays to two:

one for incoming papers and the other for outgoing papers.5+. &educe your credit cards to one per adult two if you use one for home and

one for work. This reduces statements and billApaying time.

55. &educe your bank accounts if you have several. "f you find yourself

dealing with multiple bank statements every month this is a good place to

start.

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Im%rove 'our Self Image

"mproving your selfAimage like improving any skill takes time and practice.

eveloping good selfAesteem involves encouraging a positive 2but realistic3attitude toward yourself and the world around you and appreciating your worth

while at the same time behaving responsibly towards others. SelfAesteem isn't

selfAabsorptionJ it's selfArespect.

By working from the inside out 2focusing on changing your own way of

thinking before changing the circumstances around you3 you can build your

selfAesteem. The goal of this positive thinking is to give yourself a more positiveselfAconcept while seeing yourself honestly and accepting yourself and

removing the internal barriers that can keep you from doing your best.

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Pos#t#5! T4ou%4t St "t!%#!s

A5o# !>"%%! "t#o$s.

@orrect your internal voice when it e9aggerates especially when it e9aggerates

the negative. Try to avoid thinking in e9treme terms 2>" always make that

mistake> or >"'ll never get that promotion.>3

%ip negative thoughts in the bud.

Sometimes putting a stop to negative thinking is as easy as that. The ne9t time

you start giving yourself an internal browbeating tell yourself to >stop it!> "f

you saw a person yelling insults at another person you would probably tell himto stop. hy do you accept that behaviour from yourself?

A !$tu"t! t4! os#t#5!.

"nstead of focusing on what you think are your negative -ualities accentuate

your strengths and assets. /aybe you didn't ace the test you were studying for

but maybe your hard work and perseverance led to a better grade than youwould have had. /aybe you felt nervous and selfAconscious when giving a

presentation at work but maybe your boss and coworkers respected you for

getting up and trying.

A ! t &'" s "$ ,! 4u+"$.

/aybe you did get nervous and blow that presentation at work A so what? Talkto your boss about what went wrong try to address the error in the future and

move on. ll people have flaws and make mistakes. ;our boss coworkers

friends family postman politician and favorite movie star have all made

mistakes. They've forgiven themselvesJ so can you.

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A ! t #+ ! &! t#o$s.

)erfection is a high goal to aim for AA you don't need to start there or even end

there. /ake doing your best your ideal AA what more can you realistically do?

,ocus on what you've gained from the process and how you can use it in the

future. void focusing on what wasn't done or 'should have' been done

differently. llow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try

laughing instead of critici ing.

Do$ t ,u''- -ou s!'&

>Should have could have would have ... > Try not to constantly second guess

yourself critici e yourself for what you >should> have done better or e9pect too

much from yourself. on't put standards on yourself that you wouldn't e9pect

from others. "t's great to want to do well but e9pecting yourself to be perfect

2which is impossible3 and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious

cycle. Csing e9pressions like >" should have> is ust a way of punishing yourself

after the fact.

R! '" ! #t# #s+ #t4 !$ ou "%!+!$t.

"nstead of nagging or focusing on the negative 2in yourself and others3 replace

your criticism with encouragement. #ive constructive criticism instead of being

critical 2>maybe if " tried to do ne9t time it would be even better> instead

of >" didn't do that right.>3 @ompliment yourself and those around you on what

you have achieved 2>well we may not have done it all but we did a pretty great

ob with what we did>.3

Do$ t &!!' %u#'t- ",out t4#$%s ,!-o$ -ou o$t o'.

;ou are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a

problem. pologi ing for things and accepting blame can be a positive -uality

if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn't feel

responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone isupset.

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Do$ t &!!' !s o$s#,'! &o !5! -t4#$%.

1ust as everything is not your fault not everything is your responsibility. "t's

okay to be helpful but don't feel the need to be all things 2and do all things3 for

all people. This is taking too much of a burden on yourself % limiting those

around you. (et others be responsible for themselves and their actions AA you

shouldn't feel responsible for their happiness.

Do &!!' !s o$s#,'! &o -ou &!!'#$%s.

1ust as you can't >make> other people happy don't e9pect others to >make> you

feel happy or good about yourself. "n the same way they shouldn't make youfeel guilty or bad about yourself. ;ou create your own feelings and make your

own decisions. )eople and events may have an effect on your emotions but

they can't control them.

T !"t -ou s!'& stupid>

>ugly> or >loser>? ould you use those terms to describe a friend? &emind

yourself that you deserve to be treated as well as you treat others. o something

nice for yourself sometimes AA either in thought 2give yourself a compliment3 or

action 2treat yourself to a nice dinner or new book.3

G#5! -ou s!'& " , !"


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C4oos! t4! , #%4t! s# ! o& t4#$%s.

;ou can choose how to interpret comments and events so try for the more

positive interpretations. "f someone says >;ou look good today > don't ask

yourself > hat was wrong with the way " looked yesterday?> ccept

compliments graciously 2don't ask yourself why you haven't been complimented

before.3 (ook at temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth.

Fo %#5! "$ &o %!t.

Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings A this is a surefire way

of encouraging negative thoughts and bad moods. ;our past can control you ifyou don't control it. "f you can forgive past wrongs and move on. 2 on't forget

that forgiving yourself is an important part of this process too!3 "f you have a

hard time forgiving or forgetting consider talking through your emotions with a

good friend or counselor but try not to dwell on the matter. "t's important to

work through things but you can't let the past determine your future.

Fo us o$ 4"t -ou CAN o@ $ot 4"t -ou CAN T.

void >can't> thinking or other negative language. "f you say something often

enough you may start to believe it so keep your statements positive not

negative. on't be afraid to seek help in accomplishing things but remind

yourself that you don't need approval from others to recogni e your

accomplishments. ,ocus on what you're able to do. &emind yourself of all your

capabilities and positive -ualities.

Csing ust one or two of the above strategies on a regular basis can greatly

increase your positive selfAimage and selfAesteem. /aking these internal

changes will increase your confidence in yourself and your willingness and

ability to make e9ternal changes and improve your life.

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Ma$e a Lasting Im%ression

+. s you prepare for a function come up with three things to talk about as

well as four generic -uestions that will get others talking. "f you've met thehost before try to remember things about him6her such as his6her passion

for a sport or a charity you're both involved in.

5. Be the first to say >hello.> "f you're not sure the other person will

remember you offer your name to ease the pressure. ,or e9ample

>@harles Bartlett? (ynn Schmidt... good to see you again.> Smile first and

always shake hands when you meet someone. ttendance looks higher than last year how long

have you been coming to these conventions?> ;ou can also ask them abouttheir trip to the event or how they know the host.

E. Stay focused on your conversational partner by actively listening and

giving feedback. /aintain eye contact. %ever glance around the room

while someone is talking to you.

F. (isten more than you talk.

G. =ave something interesting to contribute. 8eeping abreast of current

events and this will provide you with great conversation builders leading

with > hat do you think of...?> =ave you heard...?> hat is your take

on...?> Stay away from negative or controversial topics and refrain from

longAwinded stories or giving a lot of detail in casual conversation.

K. "f there are people you especially want to meet one of the best ways to

approach them is to be introduced by someone they respect. sk a mutual

friend to do the honors.

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O. "f someone hands you a business card accept it as a gift. =old it in both

hands and take a moment to read what is written on it. hen you're done

put it away in a shirt pocket purse or wallet to show it is valued.

+I. atch your body language. )eople who look ill at ease make others

uncomfortable. ct confident and comfortable even when you're not.

++. Before entering into a conversation that's already in progress observe and

listen. ;ou don't want to s-uash the dynamics with an unsuited or illAtimed

remark.

+5. =ave a few e9it lines ready so that you can both gracefully move on. ,or

e9ample >" need to check in with a client over there > >" skipped lunchtoday so " need to visit the buffet > or you can offer to refresh their drink.

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Memor( Im%rovement

0irtually every day we are re-uired to remember a name a face a

number or some other piece of information. ,or many people it is a struggle. "tno longer needs to be so A here is a list of ten great tips to improving your

memory.

1. P"tt! $s

n e9cellent way to remember a large number or phrase is to look for

patterns. =ere is a simple e9ample:


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3. A' 4",!t#8!

e are all very familiar with the system of alphabeti ation A we see it

every day in phone books online directories and a variety of other places. "f

you have a list of words to remember put them in alphabetical order. "f you

wanted to learn a very long list A such as the States of the CS start with one

state per letter. 7nce you have that memori ed go back and add another state

for each letter. &epeat until the whole list is stored in your mind. ;ou would be

surprised how much more effective this is than ust trying to remember the

whole list at one go.

. C"t!%o #8!

"n a way alphabeti ing is categori ing but with this method you can go a

lot further. "f you have a big list of things to remember you can find similarities

and group them. ,or e9ample a shopping list:

pples Shampoo @heese /ilk Sugar Bananas Soap @oconut ,lour

%ow put them into categories and we have this:,ruit: pples Bananas

ried #oods: @oconut Sugar ,lour

airy: /ilk @heese

Bathroom: Shampoo Soap

nother great way to remember your categories 2especially in the case of a

shopping list3 is to remember your categories in the order that they are found inthe supermarket. ,or e9ample if your first aisle is ,ruit remember the fruit first

and think of the fruit aisle while you are doing so.

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. C4u$


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,or e9ample if you need to remember a list of vegetables put each

vegetable in a different place in the room. hen you need to recall the list

move in your mind through each location in the room and see what you put

there. "f you find this one especially helpful you can e9pand on it by adding

additional floors to your location.

. Sto - M!t4o

This one can be fun. /ake up a story and include all of the things you need

to remember in it. The story can be totally ridiculous. (ets say you need to

remember to buy a bucket a do en apples a hairbrush and some kitty litteryou might make a story like this:

fter 1ane emptied the kitty litter from ,eli9s dirtbo9 in to the red bucket

she gave him a good brushing with his new hairbrush while she ate an apple for

lunch.

"t is not the most thrilling or original story but it can be very effective in

helping you to remember your list.

. M$!+o$# s

mnemonic is a word or short phrase that you can use to remember

something because it is like a key to the rest of the information. ,or e9ample if

you learned music as a child you probably remember the phrase: Qevery good

boy deserves fruitP A each word stands for a note on the musical staff A $#B ,. %o doubt you were also taught a mnemonic to remember the colors of the

rainbow as well.

nother slight variation is to use a phrase: desert and dessert: the sweet

one has two sugars. e also use this to remember daylight savings time: Spring

forward fall back.

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1 . S!$s!s

"f you have to remember a word try remembering it with your other

senses. ,or e9ample if you have to remember to buy soap try to con ure up an

image of soap and whilst doing so imagine what it smells like. ;ou can also

use your other senses in the same way: to remember to buy an alarm clock

remember the sound it makes when it goes off in the morning.

ll of the items on this list can be used on their own or in con unction

with the others to help you improve your memory. The more you practice these

tips the better you will become.

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THE POWER OF THE MIND

These are things that you can do in your mind to help you cope with a

situation. hat you think about a situation shapes your response to it. Thismakes your thoughts one of your most powerful coping skills.

M! #t"t#o$

/editation helps settle the mind so you can think calmly throughout the

day. The goal is not for immediate rela9ation but to increase serenity.

/editation puts you in control of your thoughts by forcing you to be present inthe moment and to observe your thought processes. There is no point in starting

to meditate unless you intend to make it a habitJ you won't reap its benefits

unless you practice it on a regular basis.

"n the early stages meditate for +I to +E minutes once or twice a day.

"ncrease this to 5I minutes no more than twice a day. void meditating ust

before going to bed or you'll be too energi ed to sleep.

There are several meditation techni-ues. o some research at a library if

you're interested in learning methods in addition to the one that follows.

@hoose a -uiet room where you won't be interrupted.

Take time to rela9J don't rush into it.

hen you are thoroughly rela9ed and breathing slowly and evenly close

your eyes. Slowly repeat a pleasantAsounding word over and over in your mind

as you breathe in and out. @ontinue in this state for +IA5I minutes.

To come back: begin saying your word out loud deliberately and slowly.

)ay attention to your breathing. Be aware of your body and your posture. 7pen

your eyes and look around the room. fter a minute or so stand up and stretch.

ith practice you will eventually reach the point when you'll feel

detached from your body and your physical surroundings while meditating. The

word will fade from your awarenessJ you'll be in touch with your innermost self

deeply rela9ed and thoroughly energi ed.

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NOTE /editation can be overdone to the point where you are

completely cut off from feelings of an9iety. This isn't healthy. $veryone needs a

certain amount of stress in order to function.

Social iversional and Spiritual Skills

Social skills involve relationships. )eople and pets are an important

source of comfort: spend more time with them. iversional skills are

distractions. These don't re-uire dealing with the problem directlyJ but are a

way of taking your mind off what's happening.

Spiritual skills involve getting in touch with yourself to find meaning in

your life. Tending to your spiritual life is an important way of dealing withstress particularly if you e9perience a sense of loss in direction or meaning.

Spirituality is not limited to religion. Take some time to connect with yourself

and with nature.

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B. P o% !ss#5! R!'">"t#o$

This is a techni-ue to help rela9 tense muscles.

Sit or lie down on your back in a comfortable -uiet room. @lose your eyes.

/ake tight fists hold for five seconds and then rela9 your hands.

80 Hours Training Module Index

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