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June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 1 Dartmouth’s Only Independent Newspaper Volume 32, Issue 4 June 1, 2012 The Hanover Review, Inc. P.O. Box 343 Hanover, NH 03755 The Dartmouth Review Nemo me impune lacessit Inside this Issue: “A Non-Traditional Candidate” by Adam I. W. Schwartzman ‘13 Interview with Class Marshall Jacob Wijnberg by Thomas L. Hauch ‘13 Open Letter to Dean Johnson from the College Libertarians Sports! Arts! Laughs! Commencement 2012
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Page 1: 6-1-12

June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 1

Dartmouth’s Only Independent Newspaper

Volume 32, Issue 4June 1, 2012

The Hanover Review, Inc.P.O. Box 343

Hanover, NH 03755

The Dartmouth Review

Nemo me impune lacessit

Inside this Issue:

“A Non-Traditional Candidate” by Adam I. W. Schwartzman ‘13

Interview with Class Marshall Jacob Wijnberg by Thomas L. Hauch ‘13

Open Letter to Dean Johnson from the College Libertarians

Sports! Arts! Laughs!

Commencement 2012

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Page 2 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

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June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 3

In a recent interview, I spoke with Nate Fick ’99 about the search for the next president of Dartmouth College. He offered a compelling sentiment: “It would be easy for us as a community to be gun shy about non-traditional or young candidates.”

In many ways, he’s right. Dr. Kim remains the first and only Asian-American president of an Ivy League institution. He came from a background of health and medicine. He was a non-traditional candidate.

Despite the complains that can be levied against President Kim as an administrator, one cannot ignore his impressive record as a fund raiser. The Black Family Visual Arts Center, for instance, is indicative of his ability to galvanize active support from alumni.

Looking at past presidents of Dartmouth, pinning a non-traditional candidate proves difficult. Nine of the sixteen presidents before Dr. Kim were graduates of the College and one, David T. McLaughlin, was both Dartmouth ’54 and Tuck ’55. Bennet Tyler and Nathan Lord graduated from peer in-stitutions: Yale and Bowdoin, respectively. Jim Wright, John Kemeny, and Ernest Fox Nichols were all professors at the College before assuming the presidency.

Dr. Ernest Martin Hopkins, class of 1901, was somewhat non-traditional. He came to Dartmouth following six years as a business con-sultant and had limited postgraduate experience (although he was awarded a number of honorary degrees later in life). His two immediate prede-cessors had both been professors. By contrast, Dr. Hopkins had never himself taught a class. Predict-ably, his nomination to the presidency was met with resistance from both alumni and academics, according to his obituary in the New York Times.

But President Hopkins quickly gained the support and affection of the entire school, alumni included. He championed academic freedom and the liberal arts. He put enormous stock in the value of a strong faculty; when offered $50,000 by an alumnus to dismiss an outspoken professor, Hopkins not only rejected the proposition, but af-firmed his staunch support for the professor, telling him: “Don’t get excited. If you quit, I will too and we’ll split the $50,000.”

Like Dr. Kim, President Hopkins also found success in his role as a fund raiser for the College. During his presidency enrollment grew from 1,000 to 2,500, the physical size of the campus doubled, and the endowment grew from a few million dollars to nearly $30 million.

Nearly 20 years after his retirement, President Hopkins saw Nelson Rockefeller ’30 dedicate the Hopkins Center of Music, Drama and Art on November 8, 1962. In his dedication speech, Rock-efeller—at the time, governor of New York—turned to Hopkins and said plainly, “I came to Dartmouth because of you.”

John Sloan Dickey, President Hopkins’ suc-cessor and regarded by many to be Dartmouth’s greatest president, was much more of a traditional candidate. Educated at both Dartmouth and Harvard Law School, Dickey embarked on a career in law and public service be-fore becoming Dartmouth’s 12th president in 1945. Like President Hopkins, President Dickey considered the liberal arts—the “liberating arts” as he called them—of the utmost importance. “Your business here is learning,” he rou-tinely told freshmen as they matriculated. Dickey too was a prodigious fund raiser. For example, his efforts garnered

the $7,500,000 necessary for the Hopkins Center.The question of a traditional versus non-tra-

ditional candidate for the president of Dartmouth College is keenly felt in the wake of President Kim’s departure. History tells us that the school has found tremendous leadership in men from both sorts of backgrounds. It stands to reason that some may hold President Kim’s brief tenure as a strike against

the non-traditional can-didate and as reason to direct the search towards the Dartmouth community. Then again, don’t think the members of the search committee will have forgotten the buzz surrounding Kim’s

presidency; they will certainly remember the support and positive attention it garnered for the College. Perhaps when the Presidential Search Committee releases its Statement on Leadership Criteria in the coming weeks, we can catch a glimpse of the thought process at work. n

Thomas L. Hauch • George A. MendozaFeatures Editors

Editorial

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Benjamin M. RileyPresident

The DarTmouTh review is produced bi-weekly by Dart-mouth College undergraduates for Dartmouth students and alumni. It is published by the Hanover Review, Inc., a non-profit tax-deductible organization. Please send all inquiries to:

The Dartmouth ReviewP.O. Box 343

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FoundersGreg Fossedal, Gordon Haff,Benjamin Hart, Keeney Jones

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win great tri-umphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

—Theodore Roosevelt

Special Thanks to William F. Buckley, Jr.

Adam I.W. SchwartzmanEditor-in-Chief

The Review Advisory Board

Contributors

Mean-Spirited, Cruel and UglyLegal Counsel

The Editors of The DarTmouTh review welcome cor-respondence from readers concerning any subject, but prefer to publish letters that comment directly on mate-rial published previously in The review. We reserve the right to edit all letters for clarity and length.Submit letters by mail or e-mail:

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Ke DingSports Editor

Christina Chen, Alexandra Johnson, Blake S. Neff, Billy Strunk, Rebecca Hecht, Meghan K. Hassett, Sterling C.

Beard, Peter M. Hill, Martin J. Gatens, John Melvin

To copyedit or not to copyedit. That is the question.

Georgia B. Travers • Nicholas P. DesatnickManaging Editors

Elizabeth A. ReynoldsVice President

Sam A. TickerArts & Culture Editor

Coleman E. Shear • J.P. HarringtonExecutive Editors

William R.F. DuncanWeb Editor

Martin Anderson, Patrick Buchanan, Theodore Cooper-stein, Dinesh D’Souza, Michael Ellis, Robert Flanigan, John Fund, Kevin Robbins, Gordon Haff, Jeffrey Hart, Laura Ingraham, Mildred Fay Jefferson, William Lind, Steven Menashi, James Panero, Hugo Restall, Roland

Reynolds, Weston Sager, Emily Esfahani Smith, R. Emmett Tyrrell

TheDartmouth Review

Letters to the Editor Page 2The Week in Review Pages 4 & 5Our Grand Old Seniors Page 6Interview with Class Marshall Jacob Wijnberg ‘12 Page 7Musical Chairs at Parkhurst Page 8A Note on Same Sex Marriage & An Open Letter to Dean Johnson Page 9Williamson ‘12 Ends on a High Note & Nine Little Indians Page 10Dartmouth Symphony Orchestra & Beauty and the Beast Page 11Last Word & Mixo Page 12

Inside This Issue

Adam I.W. Schwartzman

Don’t think the members of the search committee have forgotten the buzz

surrounding Kim’s presidency; they will certainly remember the support and positive attention it garnered for the College.

Harry GreenstoneNews Editor

Chloe M. TeeterMedia Editor

Michael T. Haughey • Jay M. Keating IIIAssociate Editors

A Non-Traditional Candidate

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Page 4 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

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although market-participant claims have already far exceeded NASDAQ’s fund set aside for the purpose.

And then, of course, there is the issue of Facebook’s valuation itself. At the IPO pricing, FB was valued at over $100bn, a figure not only astounding in sheer size, but also perhaps in optimism--Facebook made a profit of only $1bn last year. Facebook would have to execute dramatic revenue growth to justify such a high price-to-earnings ratio, and while some market observers believe that Facebook’s stock represents a good value, Morgan Stanley’s own research de-partment lowered their projections of the stock’s long-term appreciation in value in the days before the IPO.

With everyone seemingly with egg on their faces, the only “winner” in this whole debacle may be Facebook itself, which was able to raise billions of dollars in capital at what may or may not have been an inflated valuation, benefiting from what some characterize as questionable underwriting, and despite NASDAQ’s gaffe. Well done, Zuck.

And so the General Election Begins

With the economy hitting a hiccup on poor job numbers and further trouble in Europe, Mitt Romney has finally taken the Republican nomination (albeit not officially until the Convention in Tampa). A win in the Texas primary pushed his delegate count to the necessary level for the nomination. While President Obama would do well to focus on his job, particularly as the economic recovery faces challenges, instead he took the chance to hit the negative campaign trail right out of the gate. The same day of Romney’s “win” (and of course after a congratualtory phone call), Obama’s campaign jumped to running ads in swing states on topics as irrelevant to the economy as Planned Parenthood.

Of course, we have seen the same response from Rom-

ney’s campaign on a vairety of issues, and with the vast fundraising of this election cycle, we expect to see no less from either side over the next five months.

Occupy Movement Still Occupying?

At the time of press, Occupy Dartmouth still holds a prime piece of land in front of Collis, complete with an ap-propriately anti-capitalist army tent. However, in addition to lacking a clear message or goal, the movement has, in the last few weeks, seemed to be devoid of any activity, as evidenced by the complete quiet at their encampment.

The Grey Lady Has Something to Say

About Food StampsNew York Times columnist Maureen Dowd revealed some

interesting statistics about the nature of New York State’s food stamp program. While criticizing Governor Andrew Cuomo for his support of regulations that require recipients of New York State food stamps to submit fingerprints as part of a reformed application process, Ms. Dowd lamented that such an onerous requirement inhibits American families from “getting the help they truly need.” Citing the Gover-nor’s own report, she noted that more than 1.4 million or 30 percent of families in the state fail to receive the benefits for which they are eligible. Rather than explaining how the fingerprinting policy was responsible the lack of participa-tion, however, Ms. Dowd became far too preoccupied with pedantic bouts of asinine moralizing to make the connection

The Week in ReviewHanover Inn “Open” for Commencement

Renovations and additions to the Hanover Inn will continue slowly throughout this summer. Come Commence-ment, just 94 guest rooms, along with an unfathomably small 38-seat restaurant, will be ready for use. The original price tag of $21 million has, naturally, ballooned to $41 million over the course of its construction.

For those wondering what exactly is going on next to the Hop, the College decided a while back that the Hanover Inn needed a makeover: more capacity for guests and modern meeting facilities for visitors and conferences.

Cambridge Seven Associates has led the expansion, while the New York firm Bill Rooney Studio has handled the interiors. Perhaps the most striking feature will be a glass box connecting the Inn with the Hopkins Center to its east. The architects have taken inspiration from the Hop’s most prominent facade, reducing it down to size and lowering it to the level of Zahm Courtyard.

Though costs have gotten out of hand (as they always do), the College’s intentions were in the right place. The Georgian Revival Inn was never a striking design, and as anyone who has used the facilities will agree, meeting spaces are cramped and awkwardly arranged throughout the building. Though reretfully falling short for the Class of 2012, we hope the Inn will be complete in its improved form soon.

Deciphering Facebook’s Big IPOThe dust has finally begun to settle around Facebook,

Inc.’s bungled initial public offering; naturally, the finger pointing is only just beginning.

Morgan Stanley, Facebook’s “lead left” book runner, has attracted a fair bit of heat following the relatively poor show-ing of Facebook’s stock, which had to be heavily supported by the underwriters over the course of the day. In the days before the IPO, Morgan Stanley significantly increased both the size and price of the offering, citing investor demand, although market observers seem to blame this decision for much of the stock’s poor first-day performance - “FB” closed at only 23 cents (.61%) above its IPO price.

A large portion of blame has also been directed at NASDAQ OMX Group, the operator of the NASDAQ Stock Market, which was selected by Facebook despite a concerted effort by its larger rival, the New York Stock Exchange, to win the listing. During Facebook’s May 17 IPO, the automated NASDAQ exchange reportedly failed to inform traders if their orders had or had not been filled, which lead quickly to a sharp sell-off, which was only ar-rested by Morgan Stanley’s trading desks acting in support of their client’s offering. Days later, a NASDAQ executive publically conceded that the exchange should have cancelled the offering due to the glitches. It remains to be seen how much money was lost in the “black hole” period of trading,

-Col. James Donovan ‘39

“What did you get for ‘post modernism?’”

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June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 5

The Week in Review

apparent. Nonetheless, an implicit association emerged: by making the application more-fraud resistant, Cuomo and his allies in the Statehouse are working ceaselessly to withhold food subsidies from their constituents.

This editorial comes at a time when Americans’ participa-tion in food subsidy services is at record heights. A November report exhibits the meteoric rise in SNAP card recipients to an all-time high of 45.8 million people since October 2007. Currently, nearly 15% of the nation’s citizens receive some form of federal food assistance, and the numbers continue to rise. In light of the pressures on the system, the United States Department of Agriculture (who, as a result of a fluke of history, administers SNAP services), is quite proud of the job it is doing, but such self-regard is more than a little bit hypocritical.

As the body that oversees the U.S Forest Service, the De-partment of Agriculture is also responsible for the ubiquitous stands of signs and flyers that can be found throughout our national park and forest system. As anyone who has visited these preserves can tell you, one of the most prominently placed warnings cautions visitors against feeding the local wildlife. This request, ostensibly designed to prevent the animals from growing dependent on the largesse of oth-ers and becoming unable to fend for themselves in the real world, presents a painful paradox that is only made worse by the stance that Ms. Dowd has taken; it appears that the while the government and The New York Times acknowledge the danger of dependence, they have not stopped working to ensure it amongst millions of foodstamp recipients. In rebuking Governor Cuomo for tackling the rampant abuse of SNAP cards that results in nearly $750 million of fraudulent outlays a year, Ms. Dowd has misinterpreted the data in order to mischaracterize the pragmatic and philosophical strengths of our food assistance model as weaknesses that only more government munificence can solve.

Americans, by and large, are proud and self-reliant people. To most, the idea of dependence upon the taxpayer’s coerced generosity is repugnant and is in and of itself a strong incentive to avoid partaking in food subsidy programs. It is no wonder then, that millions of individuals and families abstain from registering for the government’s assistance programs as a way of preserving their autonomous dignity. In many respects, it is the American thing to do. Only at The New York Times, however, would less than total participation in a food subsidy system be seen as a horrible travesty that is the product of a rapacious governor’s conspiracy to keep assistance from the people who need it. Without a shred of supporting evidence, Ms. Dowd and her colleagues have used this assumption to impugn both Mr. Cuomo and his system without just reason or cause, misinterpreting the unwillingness of millions to accept food stamps as their inability to. And to what end?

Society’s urge to assist those in need is indeed com-mendable; making those same people dependent upon the munificence of the taxpayer, however, is not. Social welfare programs and food subsidies need to be the last line of defense that kicks-in only when the staying-power of individuals and the voluntary magnanimity of the third sector has been exhausted. It should be, above all else, a safety net, and the not hammock it has slowly become.

It is with this in mind, then, that we should cheer the same statistics that The New York Times has appropriated for its distortionary scheme. Rather than stemming from the

excesses of system designed to curtail fraud, it appears that absence of maximum food stamp participation is a product of American self-reliance. If the danger of dependence is something that U.S. Forest Service can grasp, why does the same conclusion continue to elude their colleagues at the USDA and The New York Times?

The Benefits of a Trustworthy Face

Dartmouth researchers have discovered that, in fact, people are far sillier with their money than was previously thought. Or at least, in deciding who to give their money to. Researchers from the College as well as University College London and Warwick Business School conducted a study to determine how human beings decided who to trust and who not to trust.

With one hand, the scientists used a computer program to create 20 faces of potential investment managers which were then shown to the participants in the study. Some were designed to seem more trustworthy than others, according to past research of human instinctual responses to the shapes and features of faces. With the other, the researchers provided information about the reputations of each of the possible investment managers. Some were given good reputations, others bad.

Yet, their reputations had no impact upon the decisions made by the participants. Again and again, humans chose to give money to those with trustworthy faces even if they had bad reputations. The trustworthy faces received an average of six percent higher investments. Apparently, trust, if not beauty, is skin deep. Perhaps all of those studious Economics majors and would-be finance gods at the College would do well to take note that at the end of the day, it will all come down to what they look like. Of course, we would not be surprised if plastic surgeons began taking out ads on Wall Street, promis-ing to make them look far more trustworthy. One wonders what the results would have been like if the researchers could have included the worth of a firm handshake.

Investing, Dartmouth Style

While the Trustees return to campus for graduation, a bit of a stir has been brewing in the business press, with Business Insider, DealFire, and others picking up on a story about Dartmouth College’s investing practices.

In short, a group of disgruntled Dartmouth College em-ployees are “blowing the whistle” on what they allege to be a compromised College Endowment investment process. In particular, they released an open letter to the New Hampshire Attorney General detailing their accusations—conflicts of in-terest arising from the presence of a number of asset managers on the Board of Trustees, and a disproportionate allocation of endowment money to their funds. The implication that board members are funneling assets into their stewardship—is by no means trivial.

In the interest of reporting the news and providing meaningful commentary, the Review notes that this represents

yet another group of disgruntled folks who blame private equity for job loss: “unsustainable [endowment] spending,” facilitated by outsized private equity returns, were used “to justify layoffs.”

Now that that’s out of the way—is this actually a bad thing?Not the layoffs of course, but the potential argument fol-

lows. The whistleblowers focus their attack on the relationship between Trustee giving, and endowment allocation—i.e. the more you give to the College, the more the College lets you recoup via management fees on endowment funds alloca-tions. And for some of the ten named trustees, there might be a case to be made.

But for most of the names, just because a portion of our Alumni happen to be highly regarded alternative asset man-agers, does not mean that the College should shy away from their funds. To the contrary, the College should embrace them. If you look at causation from the other side, the College is actually maximizing its returns. In theory, it goes like this:

First, among top managers, find the Dartmouth alums. Then, invest with them, and eventually realize your gains (hopefully). And finally, receive gifts from these alumni, and after running through these steps a couple of times, make him or her a Trustee.

While the logic sounds sinister, the benefit to the College is embedded in the very fees the whistleblowers deride. As-suming that an alum will give ‘X’% of annual income to his Alma Mater, the resulting increased fees paid to him or her at the very least bump up in proportion to the management fee structure. For the sake of simplicity, assume that the traditional two-percent management fee and twenty-percent fee on investment gains this represents the Trustee’s income for the year. If you break out Dartmouth’s investment, and multiply it by the Trustee’s rate of giving to the College (which, as a Trustee, is probably pretty high):

(X%)*[(2% of Dartmouth’s stake)+(20% of gains)]Admittedly, this is a pretty diluted kickback, but it none-

theless represents more flowing into the College’s coffers. Assuming a $5mm investment appreciating 15% in the first year (before fees—which is not entirely unreasonable), with a Trustee who gives at a rate of 5%, the College ends up with $13,250 in extra cash.

Scale this up across the eight accused Trustees who manage funds, and the multiple concurrent funds that most of them offer, and you have the amount of a professor’s salary.

None of this is to say that shenanigans necessarily did not occur, and that the College deviated from whatever pru-dent, disciplined process it has in place. But all things equal, we should be investing with alums, and to maximize these kickback gains, we should probably make them Trustees. Or maybe the Trustees steering cash into their own funds rationalize themselves in exactly these terms (doubtful). Of course, Dartmouth could just go the traditional route in endowment investing, and then possibly match the returns of its peer institutions with their less “connected” boards.

“SWAT-ing” Targets Conservatives

It is not an easy time to be a conservative blogger. Months after the death of the popular Andrew Breitbart, a number of bloggers have had their own lives put at risk by a new phe-nomenon called “SWAT-ing”. The practice consists of a prank 911 phone call, placed by an outside individual, calling and hoping to send police to the target’s home with violent force.

The terrifying prank played out last year against Patrick Frey, a deputy district attorney and blogger. The 911 caller claimed to be Frey, and, acting as Frey, confessed to killing his wife, calling police to the home. Of course unsuspecting, Frey was greeted in his own home by a police team at gunpoint, handcuffing him for allegedly killing his wife. When his wife was found alive and well the prank call nonwithstanding, Frey was released.

Such tactics are obviously a significant threat to the victims, essentially powerless to do anything except stand by shocked as they are momentarily treated like suspected murderers. The specific targeting of these attacks against conservative bloggers has led some, such as Robert Stacy McCain, into hiding or secrecy in their writing.

One common thread among the blogger-victims has been their writings about an activist and convicted felon, Brett Kimberlin. Reached for comment by Fox News, Kimberlin denied any affiliation with the attacks, but he is a common point among the cases.The writers at the Review hope respect for freedom of speech will prevail and bloggers will be safe from harm.

-Col. James Donovan ‘39

“Top of the Hop?”

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Page 6 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

Our Grand Old Seniors

Mr. Mendoza is a freshman at the College and Features Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

By George Mendoza

It’s the end of the year, the few days separating the exiting class and sober reality. Here at The Dartmouth Review, the seniors have contributed immeasurable time and energy to continue the tradition of the publication. Sterling Beard and Miles Van Kopp leave Dartmouth having made their mark on our small publication. Former staffers have gone on to become among the most influen-tial in their fields, ranging from art to law, journalism to conservative figureheads. Taking the conservative values they eagerly displayed, and likely screamed about, in their college years, Review alumni have undeniably influenced their professions. It is a testament to the intelligence and conviction of the men and women of the publication that after only thirty years of a small staff, so many are at the top of their fields. They were fish swimming against the stream when they wrote for the controversial publication as were the two seniors graduating in a few days. Sterling and Miles leave big shoes to fill for the current staffers and the Review a stronger publication than when they came in, with opinions that continue to provide unabashed com-mentary on campus events, raise eyebrows, and spoof the strange events that happen at the College, exemplifying conservative values along the way.

Sterling C. Beard

Sterling Beard calls Abilene, Texas home. At Dartmouth, Sterling was involved in diverse activities. He competed in Dartmouth Idol, Dartmouth’s big singing com-petition in the Winter, performed in numerous Dartmouth theatre productions, and is a member of the Phi Tau co-ed fraternity. He sang as a member of X.ado, Dartmouth’s only Christian a capella group, and the Glee Club. Sterling will be spending the next year as the Collegiate Network Fellow at The Hill, a Washington, D.C.-based publication. It focuses on business and lobbying, political campaigns and other events on Capitol Hill. Sterling has already been published, having written an article on the Texas Senate race

between David Dewhurst, Texas’ Lieutenant Governor, and former Solicitor General and Ivy-Leaguer Ted Cruz. The Hill has the largest publication circulation of any Capitol Hill publication, producing around 22,000 papers a day during Congressional sessions. Sterling will be learning from and working with: Juan Williams, former contributor to National Public Radio, author and journalist to multiple newspapers nationwide including The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal, and contributor to Fox News Channel; Judd Gregg, the 76th governor of New Hampshire and international advisor to Goldman Sachs; Alexandra Brandon Stoddard, commentator on MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, BBC, and CSPAN; and David Keene, president of the National Rifle Association and former chairman of the American Conservative Union.

His fondest memories of the Review are in the little moments. Writing commentary and outrageous articles provided tangible highlights, but the verbal dialogue and camaraderie during the weekly meetings gave Sterling the experiences that will look back on with the most fondness. Sterling loved “co-writing some insane articles under various pseudonyms” that satirized the events at the College. He enjoyed the sometimes-raucous meet-ings and the conversations that could steer in any bizarre and outrageous direction that some of the staffers would take it. Every meeting has a story that ends with the room laughing and often Sterling would narrate, smiling while he spoke and basking in the nostalgia. Not everyone stuck with this publication through these last four years, but Sterling came with a vision in mind and began his term as Editor-in-Chief the spring of his junior year. From everyone at The Dartmouth Review, we wish Sterling the best as he begins the rest of his life, one that will begin with the memories at Dartmouth and on the Review fresh in his mind.

Miles Van Kopp

Miles Van Kopp is from Bakersfield, California and will be graduating with a math and philosophy double major. He accepted an offer last September from Dean and Company, a strategy consulting firm based out of

Washington, D.C., after interning there last summer. Dean and Company caters to Fortune 500 companies and small, high-potential small businesses including cable companies, some of the top banks in the United States, global pharmaceutical firms, telecommunication firms, some of the top energy providers in the United States and private equity firms with value in the billions of dollars. After a few years of work experience, Miles hopes to go to business school.

Miles first got involved with The Dartmouth Review his sophomore year when he focused on advertising for the paper. After calling hundreds of businesses in the Upper Valley area and beyond, he did not sell a single advertise-ment. He learned an important lesson from the failure. “The Review faces more challenges than older school-sponsored newspapers at acquiring advertising revenue,” Miles said. “Being a younger niche paper provides us with the liberty to write about whatever we want but also restricts us in revenue-producing activities due to our restricted readership.” After a term as Vice-President, Miles shifted from advertising to a focus on distribution and management of the financial aspect that comes with running an independent newspaper. Miles marks the transition from traditional paper distribution to a new digitally minded focus as one of his most rewarding accomplishments while being on the paper. When Miles began his term as President of the Review, the paper shifted from snail mail to email distribution and multimedia through the website’s blog and article posts. Miles got the Review through ambiguous financial times to a very comfortable financial state. Miles, along with Sterling and a few other members of the paper organized the Thirty-Year Gala. The gala connected past editors, contributors, and supporters to current staff members, connecting today’s staffers with the men and women who started the paperback in the 1980’s and staffers in between.

The End of Something

Farewells are always tough. For the exiting class it will be no different. The real world presents problems not many of them have faced before. Reality and difficult events will come their way. As a professor of mine told the class, there are a few truths in life: One is good things will happen to you in your lifetime; another is bad things will happen to you in your lifetime. Dartmouth graduates know a lot of success and not a lot of failure. High-intensity young adults like Dartmouth graduates don’t take kindly to failure and probably have yet to experience a whole lot of it, but it may come sooner or later. The simple truth that good times are ahead is promising; the simple truth that difficult times are ahead is equally foreboding and daunting. To quote Conan O’Brien, “disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.” Any way you slice it struggle will become a big part of everyone’s life and it’s those moments that build character. The Dartmouth Review bids farewell to these two seniors who have made a world of difference to this publication and served it well through the difficult times, good times, and everything in between. Because the arduous times are surely ahead, may they not have a lighter burden, but broader shoulders to help them carry the load of the strains of life outside of the College on the Hill. n

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June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 7

An Interview with Class Marshall Jacob Wijnberg

Mr. Hauch is a junior at the College and Features Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

By Thomas L. Hauch

Recently The Dartmouth Review sat down with Jacob Wijnberg ’12, a cadet enrolled in the College’s Army ROTC. We talked about his motivation for joining ROTC, his experi-ence within the program, and his plans for after graduation.

The Dartmouth Review: Thanks very much for taking this time. To start off, could you please introduce yourself?

Jacob Wijnberg: I’m Jacob Wijnberg. I’m a ’12 graduat-ing on June 10th. I grew up partly in New York and partly in Lousiville, Kentucky. I went to high school at Hotchkiss boarding school in Connecticut.

TDR: Do you have any family in the military?

JW: I don’t actually have any direct family in the military right now, which I guess makes me the first since my grandparents. I came to Dartmouth considering it, but I wasn’t totally sold on it. Over the course of the four years I’ve been here, it’s been something that has really given me structure and purpose. I ended up contracting my sophomore year.

TDR: What are you studying, and how does that fit in with ROTC?

JW: I’m a philosophy and Arabic double major– phi-losophy because I was interested. Arabic was a little more practical given my career path. I spent three months in Morocco my junior year studying Arabic. I branched infantry in the Army, which has some opportunities for language use. But I’m hoping later on to switch career fields into something with a little more to do with language and cultural interaction, like a Foreign Area Officer, which is sort of a military at-taché.

TDR: Do you do anything else around campus?

JW: I’m a member of Phi Delt. I was the social chair until the last winter, although I’m definitely happy to be relieved of that responsibility.

TDR That sounds like a tough combination with ROTC. What are the typical demands from week to week?

JW: Yeah. The structure of ROTC can get pretty demanding at times. We have physical training Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7:00 in the morning, normally for an hour, and sometimes an hour-and-a-half depending on what we’re doing. Mostly it’s in the Leverone Field House, because of poor weather. We might run up Balch Hill or use the track on good days. We have classes, and the time commitment depends on what year you are. Freshman it’s one hour, sophomore it’s two hours, and so on. On Friday afternoons, normally from 3:00 until 6:00 or 7:00 depending on what we’re trying to accomplish, there’s something called Mil Lab with all the cadets in the program. We’ll go out and do something that has to do with land navigation and try to find some points out in the woods. We might do first aid or tactical exercises, practice recon and ambush using paintball guns. Twice a year- fall and the spring- we have a big field training exercise (FTX) with Norwich University, our host institution. The FTX is Thursday through Sunday, either up in Norwich or at Ethan Allen Firing Range. It’s basically a bigger version of what we do week-to-week here. That’s how the schedule works during the school year.

TDR: What about during the summer?

JW: The only required summer activity is during the summer between your junior and senior year. There’s this thing called LDAC (Leadership Development Assessment Course). Basi-cally all the junior cadets go out to Ft. Lewis in Washington State and spend a month to a month-and-a-half being evaluated on different warrior skills and on leadership capacity. You’ll be tested during patrols and based on your tactical knowledge and performance of different garrison responsibilities. In addition to that, I had the opportunity my fresh-man summer to go down to Fort Benning in Georgia, to

go to Army Airborne School and get my jump wings. It was great both as an early career step, since I’ll be in an airborne division next year. It also helps for me because it was my freshman summer, and I hadn’t even contracted. The program was free of charge with absolutely no obliga-tions. It was a good way to go outside a traditional cadet environment, to see what the actual army is like, and to see what the day-to day military life is like. I was able to rub shoulders with some pretty interesting people from all around the army. My “rackmate” from Airborne School is in the 75th Ranger Regiment right now, currently deployed to Afghani-stan. The other guy that I shared a room with is a Special Forces Medic in 5th Group. Then there was me, the lowly cadet.

TDR: To step back a bit, how exactly did you get involved freshman year?

JW: I first started thinking about the military the summer before going to Dartmouth. It was an idea borne out of work-ing at a cubicle-based internship. This was something that was completely incompatible with my desired way of life. I could never work the typical 9-to-5 where I’m just sitting in an office, bored out of my mind. Plus on top of that, the major reason that really pushed me over the fence was my paternal grandfather, who had served in the Royal Navy during WWII. He was on his deathbed at the time. He didn’t talk much about the war itself– there was a lot I don’t think he felt comfortable reliving. But he talked about his military service as being the singular formative experience that made him into the man that he was, that instilled in him the character that I had deeply respected. It was the combination of already thinking about alternate things to do after college, as well as in college really, along with my grandfather. Having my grandfather at the end of his life and me at the beginning of mine planted the seed in my head. I did some research on Dartmouth ROTC and contacted Chris Koppel, a ’09 Chi Gam who stayed on for his BE. He’s currently down at Fort Hood and a good friend of mine. When I showed up to ROTC that first Friday for Mil Lab, I got issued a PT uniform and some regular ACUs, the “cammie” uniform. From then on, it was show up, do what you’re told, and have fun because you aren’t contracted yet. After that, I was convinced that this was something I wanted to do for the first four years out of college, possibly longer. It was just a matter of convincing my parents.

TDR: Were your parents receptive to the idea?

JW: They were pretty reticent at first, and reasonably so. I hadn’t really talked about it before coming to Dartmouth. They were worried that this was just some kind of “idol wor-ship” fascination. I was going to sign something, and then later totally regret it. Obviously, as well, we have been at war for about the past 11 years, give or take. That’s something family and friends think about, especially because I’ll be in the infantry, which bears the brunt of the war. It’s definitely

a cause for concern. What brought them around was when they saw my gradu-ation from Airborne school. They really saw how being in a military environment totally changed me for the better. Not that I was a bad kid before. But they were definitely surprised to see me with such focus. I was always your typical rebel, hippy back in high school. I had passions- I wrestled and was very interested in creative writing. But after coming to Dartmouth and joining ROTC, for me at least, it all made sense. Before, there was a very strong feeling of ambivalence. I could try to go to law school, or try something else, but it all seemed very generic and unclear.

TDR: What’s the schedule for next week and on to next year?

JW: My commissioning ceremony is June 9th at 2:30 pm at the DOC house. It’s me and one other person, Aaron Capelli ’12.

After that, I have about five months of doing nothing or whatever I want. The army schools are backed up because they’ve tried to churn out so many officers since the buildup of the military. I report December 2nd to what’s called IBOLC (Infantry Basic Officer Leadership Course). That’s 16 weeks long. After that, I have ranger school, which is pretty much expected of all infantry officers at this point. That’s 61 days, knock on wood, provided I don’t get “recycled.” You can fail a phase, and depending on how badly you fail, they either “recycle” you- you start over at the beginning of the phase, or at the beginning of Ranger School, or they toss you out altogether. That should never really be an option for anybody. By July or August of 2013, I’ll be at my first duty station, which I recently found out will be the 173rd Airborne in Vicenza, Italy. I’m pretty excited about that. I’ve got two to three years of being a platoon leader with the 173rd, possibly getting a deployment or two. It’s pretty unclear with how the US military

is going to go forward after 2014. Part of the attraction of the 173rd is that they’re the

strategic reaction force for the entire Mediterranean region- Lybia, Syria, Iran, etc. They do deploy pretty frequently. Of course, given the current climate, there is a chance that I might get sent to Afghanistan as a trainer for the Af-ghan Special Forces. That’s the one position that Obama has definitively outlined. It would be as a trainer in a non-combat role, but if the Afghans we’re training come into contact, things change very quickly. After that, I’d probably transition to another duty station or continue on with further training at the Captains Career Course. I’m also looking forward to possibly coming back up to Dartmouth and working with the ROTC during the fall.

TDR: It’s obviously tough to know at this stage, but have you given thought towards a possible career path through all of this?

JW: A lot of it depends on the climate and where my career goes in the military. Because it is the biggest of the armed services, there definitely is much more of a possibility of getting what you want out of it, provided you know what you want and who can get you what you want. That’s something I’ll be cognizant of the entire time. As a junior officer, I’ll make sure to seek out and find a mentor early on. I could see myself staying in, in which case, the goal would be to switch over to being a Foreign Area Officer, which is like a military diplomat. There’s a ’92 alum, Colonel Richard Outzen, who is doing just that. He was the commissioning ceremony speaker last year. He speaks three or foreign languages fluently and has traveled around the world. In a lot of cases, like dealing with the border between Turkey and Iraq, the Kurdistan region, he is the senior US official, and he has a tremendous amount of responsibility If I decide the military doesn’t work out for me, I’ll go into something security-related: risk consulting or the CIA. It needs to have that element of traveling to slightly dangerous places.

TDR: That’s a major appeal to you?

JW: Yes, I think so.

TDR: Thank you very much for your time, Jacob. n

—Class marshall and all around bad boy Jacob Wijnberg ‘12—

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Page 8 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

Musical Chairs at Parkhurst

Mr. Peppers is a junior at the College and an amalga-mation at The Dartmouth Review.

By Clinton Peppers

As our President, Dr. Jim Yong Kim, prepares to leave Hanover for his new job/upgrade as the 12th President of the World Bank, Parkhurst has shifted around nu-merous positions in a game of musical chairs in order to assure that all roles in the admin-istrative ranks remain suitably filled. Within 24 hours of Kim’s formal election to the World Bank this April, the Board of Trustees an-nounced its appoint-ment of Provost Carol Folt as the College’s interim President. A few weeks later, the College announced that Vice Provost for Research and physics professor Martin Wybourne will take on the role of interim provost when Folt as-sumes the Presidency. Vice Provost Wybourne’s position will be filled by acting associate provost for international affairs and linguistics and classics professor Lindsay Whaley. It seems as though President Kim’s departure is finally allowing everyone to obtain the promotion that they’ve always dreamed of. Dr. Kim leaves Hanover on June 30 (although you can’t really leave a place when most students haven’t seen you there), and the formal changeover to interim President Folt and Provost Wybourne will be on July 1st, about a week into the summer academic term.

As the College’s senior academic officer and second highest College administrator, the Provost’s office occupies an important interface between students, faculty, trustees and the administration. Responsible for “overseeing the overall academic integrity of the entire institution,” (according to the College website), the Provost spearheads projects that tran-scend any single faculty, working closely with College deans, as well as the deans of Tuck School of Business, Thayer School of Engineering, and the Geisel School of Medicine, to improve teaching quality and resources.

The Provost also chairs the College’s Budget Committee, a position fraught with tension over the past year, as Dr. Folt and Dr. Kim have worked to close the College’s $100 million budget gap without signifi-cantly cutting staff or diminishing the qual-ity of undergraduate education. Closing the budget gap was one of the main is-sues that the Kim administration made headway on and held out on despite intense criticism from the lo-cal SEIU and liberal faculty members. As Provost, the budget has been a particular challenge for Folt, who has been under pressure over the last few years to finance and oversee a number of facilities building projects, such as the new Life Sciences Center, King Arthur Flour Café in Baker-Berry Library, Visual Arts Center, and of course, the renovation of our beloved Foco (sometimes referred to as ’53 Commons). Under Folt the Provost’s office has also branched out taking on responsibility for improv-ing and expanding sustainability initiatives on campus. Folt

has been criticized in the past for her focus on vast visions involving “strategic planning” committees. Like most com-mittees at Dartmouth, it is unclear what these committees actually are responsible for, but what they do seem to have

in common are a lot of unclear visions and buzzwords. The Strategic Planning Initiative has covered a hodgepodge of is-sues ranging from women in the sci-ences to the creation of the new Dartmouth Student (sounds kind of like the creation of the New Soviet Man Gender Neural Individual).

I t has been reported in The Dartmouth that many students and faculty expect that Folt will stay the course with Kim’s policies. She has already con-

firmed with the Board of Trustees that she will not seek the Presidency and will act as a placeholder. Hopefully Folt will make necessary changes focusing on issues that matter to faculty and students such as the oversubscription for certain courses, improving the level of service at Dick’s house, and reforming the DDS meal plan. Hopefully Folt does not simply focus on playing the typical Dartmouth administrator’s political game where the last one standing wins. It would be great if we could have an Interim President who can focus on concrete measurable goals like President Kim’s health care policy initiative rather than focus on vague politically correct issues such as retaining minority hires as was mentioned in the Press Release as one of Folt’s major accomplishments as Provost. While having a diversity of opinions and backgrounds on any campus is important to building a liberal arts environment, it should not be the top priority of any high ranking college administrator.

Folt will play a major role in establishing the priorities of next year’s annual budget. Folt has already expressed a strong

interest in building a research center for the study of Women and Gen-der. This could potentially include building a larger facility dedicated to support of and research on the experiences of Dartmouth women, particularly in light of the recent student emphasis on sexual assault awareness and prevention. It has also been reported that Folt would like to involve other departments in the Center’s initiatives and not just the Women and Gender Studies Department. While sexual assault remains an important issue on cam-pus, it is unclear what expanding the Center for Women and Gender will actually do for this issue un-less the Center plans on acting as an alternative social space (such spaces have proven to be very suc-cessful at Dartmouth). The Women and Gender Studies Department has received criticism in the past from The Review mainly for the fact that the department does not seem to be for the traditional liberal arts educa-tion that Dartmouth was founded on, but instead seems to stand for

everything that is politically correct to the point of absurdity. The building of such a center could be Folt’s lasting legacy at Dartmouth.

Folt has a strong academic background earning her PhD from the University of California, Davis, studying aquatic biology and metal toxicity, Folt began teaching at the Col-lege in 1983. In 2006, she was appointed dean of the faculty and, after serving for three years, became the provost of the College in 2009. In that capacity, Folt launched the first College-wide academic strategic planning process that focused on improving administrative support to faculty, expanding academic opportunities – particularly internationally – and

maintaining Dartmouth’s preeminence as both a liberal arts and a research institution.

In a statement to the College announcing her appointment, Chairman of the Board of Trustees Steve Mandel confirmed that the Board decided against appointing an interim president from outside the ranks of the College, who would lack the “institutional knowledge” to transition smoothly. Folt’s long tenure at Dartmouth has certainly given her extensive and intimate familiarity with the College atmosphere. Mandel said of Folt in his statement, “She has earned deserved recognition at Dartmouth and beyond for her impressive record of aca-demic leadership and innovative research. She is passionate about Dartmouth and its students, faculty, staff, and alumni. She understands our history, our people and our approach, and brings vital continuity, experience, and enthusiasm. The trustees all agree that Dartmouth will thrive under Carol’s leadership through this important transitional period.”

Folt clearly understands the innerworkings of Parkhurst, but it remains unclear whether she will focus on changing the college for the better or focusing on wedge issues that matter to very few students. Folt and many administrators need to appreciate Dartmouth for what it is, and not try and make Dartmouth into a Harvard located in the wilderness.

Folt’s successor, Vice Provost for Research and physics professor Martin Wybourne, began teaching at the College

in 1997 and assumed his position as Vice Provost in 2004. Wybourne earned a PhD from University of Nottingham, in the United Kingdom, and has extensive research experience studying nano-scale technology. Additionally, as interim Pro-vost Wybourne will takeover Folt’s critical role in devising the College’s annual budget.

After the announcement of Folt and Wybourne’s ap-pointment, the Board of Trustees subsequently announced that Trustee Bill Helman ’80 will serve as Chair of the Presidential Search Committee with Trustee Diana Taylor ’77 as vice chair. According to its mission statement, the Committee aims to conduct “an open and inclusive search while respecting the confidentiality of candidates.” While no specific timeframe for selecting the College’s 18th President has been publicly established, we expect the final decision to be released during the next academic year. One hopes that Dr. Folt embarks on her new Presidency with the goal of changing Dartmouth for the better, which will involve doing things that might be unpopular, rather than trying to build a legacy based on committees, faculty consensus, and political correctness. n

—Interim President Folt—

—Interim Provost Wybourne—

—Interim Vice Provost Whaley—

One hopes that Dr. Folt embarks on her new Presidency with the goal of

changing Dartmouth for the better, which will involve doing things that might be unpopular, rather than trying to build a legacy based on committees, faculty consensus, and political correctness.

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June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 9

In 1971 I received a phone call from the Nixon White House asking me if I would like to be chairman of the National Endowment For The Humanities, a four year term. I declined because that would entail administrative duties and would probably be incompatible with teaching

at Dartmouth. Instead, I was appointed to a position on the National Council of the NEH, which met quarterly to ap-prove or reject proposed grants.

The NEH has four divisions: Fellowships, Scholar-

ship, Institutional Grants, State Projects. I was assigned to Fellowships. Simone Reagor, a permanent member of the NEH, was in charge of the Fellowships division. The quar-terly responsibility of the Fellowships division was to award grants to applicants deemed worthy, and to make the case for its selections to the National Council. Simone wanted to consult with me the Monday evening before the National Council meeting the following day. Her goal was to anticipate questions and objections.

I flew to Washington in time to check in at my hotel and meet Simone for dinner at Tiberio’s restaurant on K Street. She was intelligent and excellent company. She had been connected with Harvard/Radcliffe – how was

not then clear to me. We went over the problems that might arise at the meeting of the National Council the following day.

I did not know that Simone was a lesbian until she had what approached a nervous breakdown when she broke up with her partner. They had to sell their townhouse in Wash-ington, and also their summer place on the Cape. This was a marriage in every sense except its formalization.

During the 1970s she phoned me in Hanover and we arranged to have lunch. She met me with another woman: “re-married.” Of course churches, synagogues and mosques have their own rules, but my experience with Simone changed my earlier resistance to same-sex marriage.

Reagan appointed me to the National Council again. By that time Simone had returned to Harvard, I think, judging by the important posts listed in her obituary. She died in the Hyannis Port Hospital. n

Professor Hart is a Professor Emeritus of English at the College and advisor to The Dartmouth Review.

A Note On Same Sex Marriage

By Jeffrey Hart

Of course churches, synagogues and mosques have their own rules, but my

experience with Simone changed my earlier resistance to same-sex marriage.

The NEH has four divisions: Fellow-ships, Scholarship, Institutional

Grants, State Projects. I was assigned to Fellowships. Simone Reagor, a permanent member of the NEH, was in charge of the Fellowships division.

An Open Letter to Dean JohnsonEditor’s Note: This letter was sent by the College Libertarians to Dean Johnson on May 7, 2012.

To Dean Johnson and whom it may concern:

The Dartmouth College undergraduate experience has taught the members of the Dartmouth Libertarians the importance of initiative, personal responsibility, and stewardship. In light of these values we hold congruently with the college, the Dartmouth Libertarians call for a reassessment of the College’s policy on keg use. As an independent organization unaffiliated with the Greek system, we do not oppose the keg use policy to perpetuate the “frat-boy-against-the-administration” mentality. Rather, we have reviewed the facts on the ground and the simple and rational conclusion is that the current keg use policy does not accomplish what it sets out to do. Below, we will identify the criteria of a good alcohol policy and then show the failures of our current keg use policy on all three points.

SAFE DRINKING

Firstly, an alcohol policy should promote safe drinking habits because it is in the best interest of the college to nurture healthy social spaces. To this end, the rate of distribution of alcohol should be slow and controlled, and using methods that decrease the rate of distribution should be favored. In this way, fewer drinks, both at a single time and over the course of an evening, will be available to students. On this point kegs are as safe as it gets. Compared to cans, which can be handed out quickly, kegs require pumping, and even after they are pumped sometimes require time to let the head dissipate. To reiterate a fact from a critical 2006 article in The Dartmouth, “Usually, cases just get left out for people to take cans from as they see fit, which is probably the most dangerous means of distribution anyone could fathom, short of everyone being required to drop a ‘quick six’ upon entering the basement” (Sturges, “Rethinking Dartmouth’s Keg Policy”). Distributing beer cans from cases is astonishingly more efficient than distributing beer from kegs, and fraternities currently purchase a number of cases, which makes beer distribution much more dangerous and harder to track.

Fact on the ground: using kegs decreases the rate of alcohol distribution and potentially the rate of consumption leading to a safer drinking space.

SUSTAINABILITY

Secondly, an alcohol policy should be sustainable. Anyone who has recently walked down Webster Avenue is acutely aware of the number of beer cans a fraternity goes through in one night. It is hard to imagine The Big Green, with groups such as the Big Green Bus, Ecovores, chalk walkers objecting to bottled water use, and the Sustainable Living Center, turning a blind eye to the mountain of waste generated by a single fraternity in a single night—but they do. However, kegs are reusable, in itself a much more environmentally friendly characteristic, and are not likely to be strewn about Webster Avenue causing both environmental and aesthetic harm.

Fact on the ground: kegs are reusable and cans are not; therefore, increasing keg use supports the college’s sustainability goals by lowering waste.

COMPLIANCE

Thirdly, an alcohol policy should incentivize cooperation. After all, if no one is following the policy, the entire exercise is moot. If the policy is too burdensome or convoluted for fraternities to follow, it will be circumvented. One factor is fiscal practicality; forcing fraternities to purchase cans drives up dues, which acts as a barrier to entry for lower-income students who wish to become affiliated; additionally, more expensive alcohol reduces the incentive for fraternities to be open to the campus at large, further dividing the affiliated and unaffiliated communities. If a fraternity chooses the fiscally responsible approach of purchasing kegs (as many already do), it is constantly in fear of being discovered. This constant state of risk is exactly the reason the fraternities and administration are at odds with each other. The fraternities are always at risk of getting caught for making a responsible decision, and the administration is always wasting its time dealing with violators.

Fact on the ground: removing restrictions on keg use will be a show of good will and understanding, leading to an increase in cooperation with the college.

CLOSING REMARKS

The Dartmouth Libertarians call for an open discussion, and subsequently, a serious reevaluation and liberalization of the current keg use policy. Cans are more expensive, less sustainable, and more dangerous than kegs. Admittedly, removing all restrictions on keg use sounds like bad PR. However, the current restrictions on kegs are simply bad health policy.

The facts on the ground are clear and speak to the need for amendment to current alcohol policy. We do not wish to reprimand or protest against our administra-tion. Instead, we wish to prompt the Dartmouth community to make a simple, practical, effective change to its everyday procedures. We demand a dialogue and we implore a community response.

Sincerely,

The Dartmouth College Libertarians

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Page 10 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

By Martin J. Gatens

Unlike most sports, crew is in season for the entire academic year, as guys get their feet wet in the fall with one or two longer races and then train arduously through-out the winter for weekly sprint regattas in the spring. To swimmers and track runners, this may sound very familiar, as those sports also involve hundreds of hours of training for very short races. Do not be fooled by this similarity, however—unlike training for crew, training for swimming and running can actually be fun. In the words of walk-on Maximillian Kinne ‘15, “What we do actually makes no sense. I’ve been an athlete for all of my life, and I can honestly say there is nothing more difficult than erging and rowing.” (For those unaware, an erg is an indoor, stationary rowing machine, widely considered to be the most inhumane device envisioned by man). Only this kind of training can fully prepare rowers for the painful, yet exhilarating races they experience each spring.

Through trials and tribulations, the freshmen heavyweight Indians have truly shown a valiant effort this season. Their first race of the spring went astoundingly well, considering

the team’s loss of Brett Nicholas ‘15 to a shoulder injury earlier in the winter. The Indians slid past Columbia, Holy Cross, and MIT with ease, setting the stage for a successful season. However, only a week later, the team suffered an unfortunate loss at Yale, which most of the team attributed to their inexperience in neck-and-neck races. When asked why he didn’t “just row harder,” freedom-loving American Henry Franco ‘15 replied, “You know, I just didn’t think of that.” This loss marked an unfortunate turning point in the crew’s season, as the freshmen consistently brought their A-side game against crews such as Wisconsin, BU, and Brown, but they also regularly fell short of winning races, sometimes by mere fractions of a second. The crew’s accomplished coxswain Alexander Steele ‘15 commented, “It was rough losing to those other coxswains, especially because most of them were drop-dead gorgeous. We have to give Dartmouth shirts to the crews that beat us, and giving away shirts to those girls was pretty distressing.”

Luckily, the Indians had an opportunity for redemption at Eastern Sprints in May, arguably their last chance to show the rest of the Ivy League how far they had come. In an in-credible display of athleticism and determination, Dartmouth

was able to finally defeat Yale. Twice. Finishing in a respectable 9th place out of 18 “Sprints

schools,” Dartmouth was able to hang its hat on defeating their season rivals with style. Richard Newsome-White ‘15, known by many around campus for his seductive Australian accent, gave his thoughts: “I think it was simply a matter of rowing harder. That’s really what this sport comes down to, so I’m glad our hard rowing paid off.”

Rowing is yet another Ivy League tradition that seems to have fallen to the wayside in recent years, likely due to lack of interest and stiff competition from schools on the west coast. Colleges less concerned with academic standards such as Washington, Cal, and Harvard utterly dominate the sport, as they are able to attract boatloads of the best foreign and American recruits, while Dartmouth is stuck with a bunch of brains on sticks. Even still, it would be a shame to allow something so important in Dartmouth’s athletic history go completely unnoticed. So next year, instead of making the trip down to the river once every spring term to illegally tan on the S&S dock, try making it down to the race course to cheer on our Indians, lest another one of our old traditions fails. n

By Michael T. Haughey

Peter Williamson saw his Dartmouth golf career come to an end this May after finishing up play at the Ann Arbor Regional Golf Tournament, capping one of the most illustrious and successful athletic tenures Dartmouth has seen.

Williamson headed to NCAA Regionals at the University of Michigan Golf Course to compete in the regional competi-tion, hosted from May 17-19. After three rounds of competitive play, he birdied his final three holes to end the weekend with a 6-under score of 207, tying him for fifth place. His play over the weekend was awe-inspiring, as he ended with an eagle, thirteen birdies, thirty-one pars, and nine bogies. This was the best finish for Williamson at the regional in his career, as he missed qualifying for the National Finals by only four strokes, falling to North Carolina State’s Albin Choi, the sophomore who posted a 10-under 203. Moreover, Williamson came in third among individuals not playing in the team competition, an impressive feat for the only Ivy player at the competition.

Earlier this Spring, Williamson competed in the Ivy League Championships, where he won his third Ivy League Individual Title by an impressive eight strokes, shooting an even par at the difficult Galloway National Golf Club. Despite his individual dominance, Dartmouth failed to capture the team title, floundering in the final round and eventually falling to Penn in a three-hole playoff. Although the disappointment robbed Dartmouth of its first title since 1983, it comes as the team’s best finish since their second place effort in 1995. This last tournament was a special one for Williamson as he was unanimously named the 2012 Ivy League Player of the Year, his third such honor solidifying his supremacy among his Ivy Peers. Williamson’s sophomore year was in fact the only time he was not crowned the Ivy’s best player, but he was still named to the First Team All-Ivy, a place he has held all four years at Dartmouth. Perhaps most impressively, Williamson was named both rookie and player of the year, the only Ivy player ever to do so according to the Ivy League Sports archives. Only one other Dartmouth Men’s Golfer, Lee Birchall who played from 1999 to 2002, has been named first team all four years since the honor has been in place. Clearly, Williamson’s on the golf course put

him in rare company.But these come as no surprise, as Williamson came to

Dartmouth on the heels of an impressive golf career at Ha-nover High School, thriving as a leader on the Marauders Golf Team. There he won four straight team titles and captured the individual title his senior year, gaining an appreciation for the courses he played at Dartmouth as well. Living in Hanover and as the son of an alumnus, Williamson dreamed of having a chance to compete in Dartmouth athletics. Yet despite the Hanover native’s impressive resume, no one could have really predicted his success as he traded in his high school uniform for the Dartmouth colors. Through his dedication, Williamson

racked up countless accolades, and has given to and progressed the pro-gram incredibly over his four years.

Williamson was recently hon-ored at this year’s Dartmouth Celebra-tion of Athletic Excellence with the Kenneth Archibald Prize, presented every year to “the member of the

graduating class who has been four years in attendance, who has been the best all-around athlete, regard also being had to moral worth and high standing in scholarship.” Wil-liamson beat out every other athlete this year to garner the award, performing on the course, in the classroom, and in the Hanover community to exemplify a scholar, an athlete, and a gentleman. Dartmouth’s top athletic prize was well merited, as the senior captain led his team both on and off the course, and was a fitting recognition of four years of accomplishment.

Although Williamson’s collegiate golf career has come to an end and he is set to graduate along with the Class of 2012, he has left a string of accomplishments behind him. In April,

he was named among the finalists for the 2012 Byron Nelson Award for his accomplishments not only on the golf course but also in the classroom and in the community. Only five golfers in the entire country were honored as finalists, a testament to Williamson’s

holistic success not only among his conference competitors but also on the national circuit. Williamson graduates with a major in Studio Art, concentrating in architecture, but will postpone pursuing these fields to continue his golf career.

This summer, Williamson will travel south to play the National Amateur Circuit in hopes of improving his game and gaining exposure with an increased level of competi-tion. Playing a year round golf game will help improve Williamson’s consistency with his long game, as the harsh, cold, and windy Northeast has honed his short game on and

around the green exceptionally. The road will not be easy as an amateur, or even if he turns professional, which is Williamson’s next aspiration. There are no contractual guarantees of making any money on tour; the only way to do that is win. Even on the Pro Tour, many players have to pick and choose their tournaments because travel, hotel, and caddy costs can be expensive. Williamson will have to battle for every tournament birth he can get, but based on his previous accomplishments, the future is bright for this young star. And even if golf doesn’t work out for him, the degree from Dartmouth won’t hurt either. Peter Williamson has represented Dartmouth remarkably over the past four years as a man and as a golfer. For that, we thank him. n

Mr. Gatens is a freshman at the College and a contributor to The Dartmouth Review.

Mr. Haughey is a freshman at the College and Associate Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

Nine Little Indians

Williamson ‘12 Ends on a High Note

Williamson’s play over the weekend was awe-inspir-

ing, as he ended with an eagle, thirteen birdies, thirty-one pars, and nine bogies

Perhaps most impressively, Williamson was named both

rookie and player of the year, the only Ivy player ever to do so.

“What we do actually makes no sense. I’ve been an athlete for

all of my life, and I can honestly say there is nothing more difficult than erging and rowing.”

Luckily, the Indians had an opportunity for redemption at Eastern Sprints in May,

arguably their last chance to show the rest of the Ivy League how far they had come. In an incredible display of athleticism and determi-nation, Dartmouth was able to finally defeat Yale. Twice.

Colleges less concerned with aca-demic standards such as Washing-

ton, Cal, and Harvard utterly dominate the sport, as they are able to attract boat-loads of the best foreign and American recruits, while Dartmouth is stuck with a bunch of brains on sticks.

The road will not be easy as an amateur, or even if he turns pro-

fessional, which is Williamson’s next aspiration. There are no contractual guarantees of making any money on tour; the only way to do that is win.

Page 11: 6-1-12

June 1, 2012 The Dartmouth Review Page 11

By Stuart A. Allan

For many, finals week is a stressful time of arduous studying. With most students having trouble finding enough time to sleep it was surprising to see so many found time for a little bit of culture. The Bentley Theater was overflowing with eager audience members there to see “Beauty and the Beast.” This musical showed on Tuesday and Wednesday the 29th and 30th respectively. The crowd was disproportionality women with a substantial showing made by 15’s. This performance was put on by Dartmouth’s Theater Department and The Displaced Theater Company with Diane Chen ’14 directing.

Amber Porter ’14, the Artistic Director, decided to forgo the standard glitz and glamour found in the play and instead focus on the characters, specifically the love story between Bell (Alison Falzetta ’15) and The Beast (Michael Zhu ’14). Unfortunately, this minimalistic approach was carried to an extreme and harmed the performance. While I understand that budget constraints may have forced the issue, “Beauty and the Beast” requires extensive visual components to succeed and elicit the desired visceral responses from the audience.

The main message of the play is that physical beauty is less important than inner beauty. However, if you simply ignore the visual component, as was done in this per-formance, the message becomes significantly weaker. Without the visual component, the dialogue and story needed to be substantially improved to compensate. This did not happen,

consequently Belle and The Beast felt underdeveloped and their romantic feelings less than genuine.

The Beast and his servants simply wore half-face masks to indicate their enchanted status. This made character iden-tification difficult at first and the audience’s visceral reaction to seeing a hideous beast and dancing furniture none existent.

This lack of costume made the finale rather underwhelming when the curse was lifted and the characters simply removed their masks. This minimalistic ap-proach added some value to performance

when it came to the creative use of lighting to set the mood and using dance to explain the prologue and some plot points. Seeing Kate Shelton ’14 gracefully leap across the stage showering it with rose petals to indicate the wilting of the enchanted rose was particularly effective. While this use of dance seemed out of place at first, it definitely added to the performance.

Whoever rewrote the script for this play was a prodigy. The updated script was hilarious and was made much more relevant for the audience by including numerous college appro-priate topics and a modern vernacular. Unfortunately,

more serious character development was needed to make Belle and The Beast seem fully flushed out and their relationship natural in the stripped down setting. The musical numbers were well-written and choreographed, however, many of the numbers were off-key and out of tune. Many actors had dif-ficulty attaining the vocal range required of them. This is not

a reflection on the effort of the cast members as, for a student performance, they did an excellent job. Nevertheless, the lack of innate musical talent noticeably affected the audience’s enjoyment of the performance.

The supporting cast did a superb job. Gaston (Nate Reznicek ’14) was a highly enjoyable character with some very witty lines. Mr. Reznicek had a commanding stage pres-ence and excellent vocals. His quality acting made Gaston an instant hit with the audience. I was captivated by Laruen Gatewood’s ( ’14) delivery of Babette. She fit the part perfectly and came across as a very real and believable character. It was a shame that such a remarkable actress with exquisite

vocals did not have more stage time. Freshmen Eli Howey, as Cogsworth, and Andrew McKee, as Lumiere, performed admirably. Both brought their characters to life by bringing their own personal style and take on the characters into the performance. The overall strength of the supporting cast ended up detracting from the play as they overshadowed Belle and The Beast who were supposed to be the main characters.

It is a real problem when the main characters are less interesting and real than the supporting cast. This was due in large part to minimalistic setting and the lack of time spent developing Belle and The Beast as characters. Without the usual rich visual aides to illicit visceral reactions for the audience, much more content was needed to develop the main characters and plot. Despite this major pitfall and the musical mediocrity, the performance was rescued and made enjoyable by the exceptionally strong supporting cast and the clever writing. n

By Meghan K. Hassett

The Dartmouth Symphony Orchestra had their spring term concert in Spaulding Auditorium over Memorial Day Weekend. The performance was spellbinding. As with most Spaulding events (for example, the showing of the film noir classic Laura), I was one of the few students in the audience. The program was spectacular—both Bernstein’s Symphonic Dances from West Side Story and Prokofiev’s Fifth Symphony are engaging and powerful pieces. I may be biased, as they also happen to be two favorites, but the quality of musicianship

was also mind-blowing. Each section sounded with one voice, the violins moved with one bow, and the precision of pitch and rhythm was impeccable. The evening epitomized class, professionalism, and beauty. Seeing fellow Dartmouth students in tuxedos, playing timpani and bassoon, performing a piece that came out of 1944 Soviet Russia was a welcome respite from a weekend otherwise filled with cheap champagne and sorority formals.

Conductor Anthony Princiotti is not only a talent who leads the orchestra with visible joy, but also one who is warm and responsive to his students. Prokofiev was included on the program simply because a ’12 in the orchestra asked to play his Fifth, and the accompanying Bernstein piece was suggested by another student member. It would have been nice to see more student representation in the orchestra, but

regardless, the DSO provides a wonderful way to connect the College to the Hanover-area community, as audience members or as instrumentalists.

The Dartmouth Symphony Orchestra opened its spring program with the Bernstein, a stunning work of music from the classic Broadway musical. The piece showcases the lyrical ability of the strings and the fiery power of the

brass in a passionate, jazzy, fun piece that conjures vivid images of the Sharks and the Jets, and the lovers Tony and Maria caught in the crossfire. The viola solo in “Some-where” was heart melting. I loved the versatility of the orchestra; its seemingly effortless ability captured all the sweet legato longing of that movement as well as the fire and fun of “Mambo.” The intense violence of “Rumble” was astounding. The intricate percussion was handled with mastery, and strings, woodwinds, brass, and keyboards all had a chance to shine. The “Mambo” is always a

crowd favorite—the energy skyrocketed as the brass commanded the audience’s attention with the upbeat music. I was immensely impressed with the sheer quality of sound and depth of emotion the orchestra could wield and convey.

After the intermission, I was eager to hear Pro-kofiev’s Symphony No. 5. The DSO expertly captured the Soviet and Russian flavors. The incredible talent of the Dartmouth Symphony was riveting for the entire duration of the near-forty minute piece. The technique shown in dynamic contrasts, cohesiveness, and amazing tone quality and variety in tone color contributed to the overwhelmingly beautiful sound the orchestra achieved.

My recommendation to not miss another Dartmouth Symphony Orchestra while at Dartmouth is of the most strength imaginable. It is an opportunity to see a high caliber symphony orchestra perform truly fabulous works for five dollars. I commend

the Dartmouth Symphony Orchestra for the obvious dedication and ability of its members and hope to see a much higher proportion of younger faces in the audience come fall. n

Mr. Allan is a sophomore at the College and a contributor to The Dartmouth Review.

Ms. Hassett is a freshman at the College and a contribu-tor to The Dartmouth Review.

A Minimalist “Beauty and the Beast”

Symphony Orchestra Holds Spring Concert

The supporting cast did a superb job. Gaston (Nate Reznicek ’14) was a highly enjoy-

able character with some very witty lines. Mr. Reznicek had a commanding stage presence and excellent vocals. His quality acting made Gaston an instant hit with the audience.

The main message of the play is that physical beauty is less important

than inner beauty. However, if you simply ignore the visual component, as was done in this performance, the mes-sage becomes significantly weaker.

Freshmen Eli Howey, as Cogsworth, and Andrew McKee, as Lumiere, performed

admirably. Both brought their characters to life by bringing their own personal style and take on the characters into the performance.

—DSO conductor Anthony Princiotti—

Conductor Anthony Princiotti is not only a talent who leads the

orchestra with visible joy, but also one who is warm and responsive to his students. Prokofiev was included on the program simply because a ’12 in the orchestra asked to play his Fifth, and the accompanying Bernstein piece was suggested by another student member.

I loved the versatility of the or-chestra; its seemingly effortless

ability captured all the sweet legato longing of that movement as well as the fire and fun of “Mambo.” The intense violence of “Rumble” was astounding. The intricate per-cussion was handled with mastery, and strings, woodwinds, brass, and keyboards all had a chance to shine.

I was immensely impressed with the sheer quality of sound and depth of

emotion the orchestra could wield and convey.

Page 12: 6-1-12

Page 12 The Dartmouth Review June 1, 2012

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Barrett’s MixologyBy Benjamin M. Riley

There are days to read Parmenides and then there are days to drink. I’m sure there are other days I’m forgetting but I’m already drunk and the last thing I can really remember is Parmenides and I’m pretty sure he believed in drinking too, so maybe there’s only one type of day and all else is a second-order reality, mere illusion hiding a fundamental truth in some cave with shadows. I think that was Plato, actually. But hey Plato definitely stole from Parmenides and wait how did I even get here? How did I end up hammered in the Tower Room with an open book of ancient Greek philosophy and a dubious red stain on the collar of my shirt? And why am I the only one here? Have I passed into the realm of the forms? Is the Tower Room the Platonic [or is it Parmenidean??] ideal of a library? Probably not but god-damn look at that molding. What’s the difference between crown molding and regular molding? These are the questions that haunt me as the room starts to spin and now I’m definitely on the floor. But that’s fine because my, my is that oriental carpet exquisite. What did Said say about oriental carpets? Did he say anything? And should we care if he did? Probably not but you know what I do care about? Where the rest of my beverage went. That’s what I care about because the room has stopped spinning and it’s about time it started again. I locate my flask and take a long swig. Ah yes now I remember exactly what I was drinking. It was scotch, cut with a few drops of sparkling water. Have I ever told you about the gradations of sparkling water? We’re talking bubble structure, bubble intensity – you know what I could use is a bubble bath. Well I could use a lot of things right now but first order desires, et cetera, et cetera. This little session has really resulted in more questions than answers come to think of it. One thing I do know is that this is the best of all possible worlds, me on the floor of the Tower Room, world spinning. I think it was Candide who said that or maybe Leibniz or maybe it was Parmenides. I really need to sober up.

gordon haff ’s

the last word.

Compiled by Elizabeth Reynolds

Lots of Scotch

Little bit of Soda

Drink surreptitiously.

Scotch & Soda

A graduation ceremony is an event where the com-mencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.

Robert Orben

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. Aristotle

People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don’t hear often: “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

Bill Cosby

Hitch your wagon to a star. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. Confucius

You have brains in your head.You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.You’re on your own.And you know what you know.You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

Theodore Geisel

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

Albert Einstein

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

Judy Garland

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

Nelson Henderson

The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed.

Henry Ford

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

You miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take.

Wayne Gretsky

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

E.E. Cummings

Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

Arnold H. Glasow

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.

Michelangelo Buonarroti

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

Henry David Thoreau

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

Anne Frank

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you till it seems you could not hold a minute longer, never give up then for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one’s self entirely.

Soren Kierkegaard

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Knowledge and timber shouldn’t be much used till they are seasoned.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Gary Trudeau

A commencement is a time of joy. It is also a time of melancholy. But then again, so is life.

Paul Tsongas

Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Roger Babson