3leven11 magazine - APR - JUNE

FREE YOUR

MINDEDITION

An INVITE-With Executive Coach Karina Andersen

Richard Explains

The Mind Experience

The Garden Of The...our minds are fertile gardens

Stephen Light

FollowYour Passion

APR-JUNE 20151st EDITION

I Am...Im

age

by

Man

lmM

ac

Worthy.

Two WolvesAN OLD CHEROKEE LEGEND

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, in-feriority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, hu-mility, kindness, benevo-lence, empathy, generosi-ty, truth, compassion, and faith.

“The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grand-father, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee sim-ply replied, “The one you feed.”

Image by Bernd Stoeckl

You are the

OneStanding

In

Your Own

Way

Image by Tony Hammond

InspiredContents

April 2015

Features

10 An Invite To Concious Participation- Karina Andersen

16 Benefits of Life Coaching Zola Gule

20 Follow Your Passion Lungisa Sonqishe 22 Leaders Fail by Their Self-Imposed Limitations Stephen Light

26 The Garden of the Mind Stephen Light

30 The Mind Experience Richard J. Kossef

36 Blank Canvas Lungisa Sonqishe

38 What To Do with a Great Idea Dr. Maria Phalime

42 Your Story is Powerful Dr. Maria Phalime

Dear Reader

Welcome to our very first publication. This is the ‘Free Your Mind Edition’.I hope that you will find inspiration with-in these pages. It is packed with food for the mind. The aim of the 3LEVEN11 Magazine is to inspire, challenge and to share knowledge. There is great wisdom in this publication by contributors who are experts in their fields.

Often, we feel we need to be shown the right way when we are facing various crossroads in life. One of the best bits of wisdom I was ever given was that I should search within for wisdom, and that in stillness all things are known. I hope you find inspiration and encouragement in this edition.

3LEVEN11 Mag will be published quar-terly and will focus on self-development and improvement in most areas that we struggle with. You are welcomed to give us your feedback about this first edition or perhaps you wish to comment one of the articles. It does not matter, it would be a pleasure hearing from you.

Write to me at [email protected] subject: Magazine

I would also like to thank all the contribu-tors to this edition. THANK YOU!

CONTRIBUTORSIn no particular order

1. Richard J Kossef www.themindexperience.co.za [email protected]

2. Dr. Maria Phalime www.mariaphalime.com twitter.com/mariaphalime l inkedin.com/in/mariaphalime facebook.com/mariaphalimeauthor

3. Stephen Light www.peopleactive.com Stephen.peopleactive.com linkedin.com/in/stephenlight1 youtube.com/user/StephenLight001 peopleactiv.com/pages/39342

4. Zola Gule l inkedin.com/pub/dir/Zola/Gule

5. Karina Andersen www.smilingone.com facebook.com/SmilingOne.TheRe sponsibleIndividual

6. Lungisa Sonqishe www.eleven11.co.za facebook.com/LungisaPersonalBranding twitter.com/LungisaEleven11 l inkedin.com/in/lungisasonqishe

What Does

Your attituDe saY about You?

Image by Bosse Skansen

Driven by

LoveMeet Karina, a Danish national currently living in South Africa. She is an Executive Coach with an edge. Karina wears many hats in her life. She is a loving mother, an executive coach, the founder at SmilingOne and a passionate philanthropist who cares deeply for people and community devel-opment. Her most important work, is helping prisoners break their criminal cycle.

Karina did not wish for this article to be edited, she believes that when edited it loses its innocence and en-ergy. English is not her first language. It is about the message, not how it is deliv-ered.

This is her story….

Right: Kirana AndersenLeft: Her Duaghter Nathalie Andersen

AN INVITE to conscious par-ticipation with Executive Coach Karina Andersen

by Karina Andersenwww.smilingone.com

Follow the inner pull towards your purpose.

My coaching journey has shaped me from early on. I spend a couple of years in bank-ing back in 1992. My parents thought it was a great idea and it was. I wasn’t sure at that time what path to pursue and I did what they thought was best for me. Later I realised the great value of it as it provided me with some important early deposits in my business tool-box.

I left the banking world as something else was calling. An inner pull towards my purpose. The catalyst was challenges with my healthin my teenage years with bulimia which resulted in having a skew body and food awareness. On the journey of coming to grips with this and expanding my knowledge within nutrition I decided to pass on tools I applied for my own nutritional healing journey.

The world of coaching opened itself to me, invited me to build towards a full spectrum always taking me back into my personal expe-riences - my guidance was born in my ability to self-guide. Today it is fascinating to look back and make the dot-connects; how every puz-zle piece has added a special ingredient to the toolbox I have today.

I have had several catalysts! They are all equally important for the Journey of SmilingOne and what shaped me as an Executive Coach. In 2002 my partner, my best friend and the father of my children died in a car accident. My life was turned upside down in a split second. The event was deeply traumatic and a catalyst for what was to come, catapult-ing me further towards my purpose. I had no idea at that time.

I know the deepest pain but I also know the other side of the spec-trum; and an immense joy and gratitude for living fully and deep-ly every single day.

Today I stand in deep honour-ing of exactly this. Without the catalysts my life would have been completely differ-ent. I do appreciate the many twists and turns that contrib-uted.

Today they make sense even if there were some really tough mountains to climb along the way. I know the deepest pain but I also know the other side of the spec-trum; and an immense joy and gratitude for living fully and deeply every single day.

In 2005 after three intense years of healing I had seen the first pieces of my compa-ny’s (SmilingOne) vision and the first stepping stones for

my book, The Responsible Individual (TRI) had been shaped.

In November that year I registered the SmilingOne Domain. One year later I was in South Africa starting a very important chapter on my path of living into my purpose. I still only knew very little of what that meant - what I did know was that the inner pull had become stronger. Each day became about living into that. (TRI) had been shaped. In November that year I registered the SmilingOne Domain. One year later I was in South Africa starting a very important chapter on my path of living my purpose. I still only knew very little of what that meant - what I did know was that the inner pull had become stronger. Each day became about living into that.

After publishing my book in 2008 I spend five years build-ing 10,000+ hours inside SA prison coaching and research-ing the impact of TRI in one of the toughest environments imaginable.

This gave birth to another very important chapter on the SmilingOne Journey; the Circle of Change (COC) Col-lege and education of Change Agents. The results were and continue to be incredible. Rehabilitating and re-integrat-ing transformed (ex)offenders and reducing the recidivism rate significantly for those attending the COC, those10,000+ hours combined with

growing my own business, educating and managing the SmilingOne team of coaches in COC training, developing and executing strategies were instrumental for birthing me into the Executive Coaching space.

“We are all impris-oned, shackled by our limiting beliefs”

In 2012 the corporate world found me and knocked on my door. There is no big differ-ence coaching inside prison or in the corporate arena where my clients are Executives and their Teams. I use the same tools and concepts to unlock potential and maximise per-formance. We are all imprisoned, shack-led by our limiting beliefs - we find them deeply rooted in our personal strategy shaped during our ‘first 50 chapters’ and we subconsciously trans-fer these into the execution of tasks and our roles on so many different levels...

When do you stand in the way of something to unfold, an idea, a project, a business deal, the potential of one of your team members? Are you able to listen deeply into what motivates every step you take? Or do you find your-self drowning over and over again. Burn-out, self-doubt, emotional outbursts, the inner critic, a strong sense of want-ing to be in control, using

masks, judgement and

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difficulty to get the life/work blend ‘right’ can be some of the signs that something deeper is calling. I know these well myself. The angle in TRI is that ‘You have been invited’. There are multiple ‘invites’ along the way to ac-cess and unpack ‘the first 50 chapters of your life’ - that is typically what stands in your way! We tend to make up our mind very early in life and develop strategies that are limiting, not just for ourselves but also in our dealing with others. This impacts on busi-ness in a big way! We ALL deal with this!

Coaching for both the Exec-utive and the Team Members is a wonderful opportunity to address this. I often work in group scenarios within a busi-ness unit to shape conscious spaces…. Executive Coach-ing strengthens the ability to self-guide at all times which includes the ability to listen to the invites; to process deep-ly; to give space and to em-power the team to self-guide as well. It becomes a balance

of offering inspiration through role modelling own behav-iour and at the same time allowing the team their jour-ney and their unfolding. The Executive that knows how to self-guide and ‘cook with the teams ingredients’ offers a space that is supportive, em-powering and conducive for high performance - a win for any organisation.

This also impacts on staff turn-over. With the TRI tool-box the team and the Exec-utive becomes equipped to use every single challenge as a mirror, embracing the ‘You have been invited’ tool, to ‘zoom in’ and gaze inwardly, first getting in touch with the limiting belief and what real-ly ‘stands in your way’ when challenged. Very often ‘lack of self worth’ is in the way and projects itself into the situa-tion. The challenge becomes the opportunity to add more angles and ‘walk the plank of your perception’. Imagine life is a big table and instead of always choosing the same ‘known’ chair you now begin

to choose different ones to expand on your experience, question what you ‘know’ and build confidence in tapping into the possibilities of ‘the unknown’. Before making a choice about what you like/dislike in ‘your seat’ make sure you know what it is mo-tivated by! This opens up a much broader spectrum from where to create job satisfac-tion and growth opportunity.

Self Worth is one of the big keys to lead and perform suc-cessfully, allowing a contin-uous balancing of ‘Letting it Happen’ and ‘Making it Hap-pen’ - a unique way of being and doing that takes a busi-ness to the next level. The past three years in the corpo-rate arena has shown equally incredible and measurable results. There is a direct link between TRI coaching and individual and corporate per-formance.

Both ‘Letting it Happen’ and ‘Making it Happen’ has shaped my journey personally and professionally. To men-tion a few examples - coming to South Africa ‘found me’, the prison journey ‘found me’, the corporate world ‘found me’, executive coach-ing ‘found me’ and also this article ‘found me’… what I did make happen was answering the inner pull towards my purpose at all times.

Karina with inmates @ Brandvlei Maximum Prison

Karina Andersen Executive Coach, COC Educator,

Change Agent & Founder at SmilingOne www.smilingone.com Karina’s book is called

The Responsible Individual (TRI)

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ON THE RIGHT PATH?

Image by Michael Mitchener

Zola Gule

A Life Coach

and

Fascilitator

at

Nostalgia Life

EXPLIANS...THE BENEFITS

OFLIFE COACH-

let me first beginin by explaing what Coaching is. Many are still puzzled by the concept.

People generally confuse coaching with other modal-ities, therefore, I will start with what coaching is not. Coaching is not mentorship, counselling, psychotherapy,

or consulting even though some coaches may use some of the tools. Coaching works best when you are ready to be coached and you have clear goals or outcome.

Coaching helps you develop your mindfulness, efficiency, resourcefulness and resil-ience. You become crystal clear about where you want to be and how to get there.

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“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blos-som.” – Anais Nin

The quote from Anais Nin, is a perfect metaphor for coaching. Coaching is a personal enquiry, a growth tool for helping you move from a point of procres-tination and self-doubt to that of self-belief and great personal achievement.

Coaching is about shifting your mind set and changing your self-limiting behaviour. It is not a quick fix, a comittment and perseverence are a requisite.

A Coach will, therefore, pro-vide you with tools to make the necessary changes. The rest of the work is really up to you. You would have to want to take this journey to self-discovery. You will find that it is like peeling an onion, as you peel off layer by layer, you discover more layers.

We are such mysterious beings, even WE do not understand our-selves. This is why being com-passion goes a long way, partic-ularly to ourselves.

You never know what lurks beneath all the layers. Very often... a powerful individual waiting to be set free.

Coaching is a tool I use to make empowering choices; I do this through self-coaching or using the services of another coach. From time to time, I miss my own blind spots, and the only way to notice them is through someone else’s eyes.

The Benefits of Life Coachingby Lungisa Sonqishe

1. Digging through the clutter.

Most people are plain and simple...stuck. Life Coach-es are trained to sieve through the chaos and ask the right questions. These questions are designed to gently lead the you to come to a profound reali-sation about your situation.

For example, you may be feeling exhausted, over-worked, unhappy at work, uninspired and dispassion-ate. You know that some-thing needs to change in order to move forward. This is where Life Coaching tools and techniques are essential in helping you dig through the clutter. They provide you with the sup-port, strategy, clarity and a plan of action.

2. Heightened self-con-fidence.

Self-belief is one of the most powerful states of being. We constantly worry about what could go wrong and about whether we are good enough.

Fear of failure is our great-est bully. Life Coaching helps you see that you are the greatest person in your life and that you are the

CEO of your own destiny. All you have to do is show-up and take action.

3. Having clarity.

Most of us know what we do not want. However, we lack clarity of what we really want. Our minds are cluttered by vague ideas, imagination, self-doubt, self-bullying, self-sabotage and plenty of fear. Imagine that you can see your path ahead of you. That you know where you must go and what you need in order to get there. Envision that you know the right peo-ple to help you get there. Living with such clarity and having well defined goals, makes life a little easi-er. One of the benefits of working with a Life Coach is that you see clearer. The veil becomes lifted.

4. Motivation.

Once you are clear about want you truly want and you can see clearly ahead of you, nothing will stop you from reaching your goals. You become natural-ly motivated and you can not wait to get started.

Sometimes, feelings of self-sabotage creep up. However, a really good coach will provide you with the right tools to get you over these impediments when they arise. An ac-tion plan with clear goals makes it easier to stay on target.

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CHANGE Yourself,

Not t he World...

And the world will Change

Image by ManlmMac

FollowYour Passion

By Lungisa Sonqishe

Image by Mani Kandan

What is the big deal about having passion for what you do anyway? For one, when you are passionate about what you do, you are being truthful to yourself. You in-volve yourself in something that you approve of, and in something that comes natu-rally to you. You are utilising your talents, which you have for good reason. When you deny yourself your natural ability, you put society at a disadvantage.

A lot of people find them-selves performing mundane activities on daily bases as part of their chosen profes-sions. That is not necessarily a bad a thing, however, there are many who are frustrat-ed, bored, unfulfilled and just plain miserable at work. Are you always looking forward to Friday afternoons and find Sunday evenings depressing? Well, you are not alone.

Feeling obligated to do work that does not fullfill you can leave you feeling drained. Granted, even if you do enjoy your work, you don’t have to find everyday enjoyable. There will always be highs and lows, however, when you are passionate about your work, you look past the dull or stressfull days. You do this effortlessly. However, why do we choose different paths and abandon our talents?

Some people follow certain paths because they wish to please others in their lives. On one hand you have parents who have big dreams

for their children, and on the other hand you have children who have big dreams for themselves. Very often these dreams clash, and you are left with children who’s goal is to please their parents.

There are many other factors that contribute to why you would choose against your tal-ent or passion. Society, is one of them, you are expected to act a certain way and follow certain protocols. If your pas-sion is in music, well...forget it, that is not an esteemed ca-reer path. Other factors could be your spouse, your low self esteem, believing that you have no choice and so on.

And yet, anyone who has ever succeeded in their endeavours would tell you that their rea-son for success is the passion of what they do. If I have heard this once, I have heard it a million times. However, regardless of this constant recurring theme, you are still terrified of following your passion. You may even argue that, “my passion does not pay bills”. It is definitely wise to have employment while you are working towards your real goals, but never give up on them. This is your ticket to a more fulfilling life.

Giving up your passion is giving up yourself. Come alive and be true to yourself. You have that talent for a reason. Use it. If you do not know what it is, find it. Choose it, why choose anything else. Choose YOU.

Many in society are just making-do. living one day to the next without any passion at all. Are you one of them?

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LEADERS FAIL BY THEIR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS

bY stephen Light

We start out life with curiosity and potential. We learn fear and we shut down our poten-tial. We become slaves to our self-imposed lim-itations. This defines who we are in the world and how we will lead.

“We are born geniuses and conditioned to be failures,” - Albert Einstein

What has been your experi-ence of leadership? Guaran-teed you have had amazing leaders that have inspired you and leaders that have left you wondering how

they were promoted to their position.

What did they do differently? Whatever they did it was a reflection of their inner state; how they saw themselves. Leadership starts with self and is reflected in the im-pact you have on others.

Great leaders create safety, they have the ability to see past peoples behav-iours and work with peo-ples potential. They connect people with their own inner greatness and allow them to grow and thrive in the world.

People who are connected to their own self of self-worth and who feel empowered are people who are effective and productive in all areas of their lives. This is the out-come of great leadership.Why do leaders fail? They have self-imposed limitations as a result of their condition-ing through life experiences. We all have limitations we have come to believe and these drive our behaviours.

Great leaders are people who have worked on them-selves. They have recognised that they have limitations and realised they are self-im-posed. They have challenged themselves in service of be-ing a better person.

Our self-imposed limitations create fear. They start as whispers like, “I cannot do this’, and end up as beliefs that have us firmly en-trenched in a way of being.

This place becomes our pris-on preventing us from grow-ing and helping others grow.

People who lead effectively have travelled the path of self reflection and contin-ue to do so. They face their fears and work with the be-liefs that create them. They challenge these beliefs and become better people who show up as better leaders.

Where to now for you as a leader?

Your journey begins. The process is simple:

1. Identify an area of your leadership where you strug-gle

2. Write down what is going on and all your thoughts you have about it

3. Separate the thoughts into positive and negative thoughts on a page

4. Ask yourself: ‘What do I fear most?’ and write it down

5. Now for every negative thought write a positive thought that counters it

6. What is the opposite thought of your fear? Exam-ple: People will discover I am a fraud. The opposite can be; I am a great leader who faces her/his fears

7. Choose three of these new statements and repeat them to yourself as often as you can to counter the negative statements that serve your limitations

This process is designed to shift your inner talk from negative and limiting to positive and affirming. Facing fears becomes easy when we believe in ourselves. Great leaders believe in them-selves.

If you want help working through your leadership limitations then connect with me. Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. Stephen Light Bringing The Light Certified Professional Co-Active Coach Professional Certified Coach PCC ICF ORSC & CRR Global

www.peopleactive.com Stephen.peopleactive.com

Stephen Light iS a LeaderShip expert who uSeS neuroScience aS a pLatform for being more effective at underStanding and changing SeLf. he aSSiSt LeaderS in finding more effective wayS of Leading peopLe through changeS reSuLting in the objectiveS of teamS being met.

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Integrity & Accountabilityby Lungisa Sonqishe

Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, gen-erosity, moral cour-age and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people”. - Dennis Prager

Image byFernando Sassone

how many times have you promised someone that you would do something at a certain time and failed to do it? A lot of peo-ple trust in our word, in-fact our word can, in some cases, be the only hope to those who depend on it. How, then can you deliberately and without shame not stand by it?

Either way, someone always gets disappoint-ed and perhaps even lose faith in humanity. All the empty words and broken promises, do harm, not only to the victims, but also to the offenders. One’s reputation becomes tainted as unreliable, devious, uncaring and narcissistic. We breed this attitude of, “why should I keep my word then”, one more unwanted contribution to the place where no one’s word mean anything.

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.” – Thom-as Paine

This is what it means that, ‘what you do to others, you do to yourself’. May we have the integrity and respect to keep our word, and if we can not, may we have the courage to say so. Let’s hold ourselves accountable and remember that ‘what we do to others, we do to ourselves’.

The Garden of the Mind

By Stephen Light

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cul-tivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivat-ed or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind” – James Allen

I have discovered in life that our minds are fertile gardens and the flowers we grow are the ones we plant. Some of our gardens have roses and some have weeds. It all comes down to how much of our attention we focus on roses versus weeds.

“When I look at peo-ple who have amaz-ing lives I get curious. What is it that they do that has them cre-ate these amazing experiences?”

Our thoughts are the seeds we plant in our minds and this is where we have control of what we create in our lives. If you look at your life right now you will get a snapshot of just how great a gardener you have been or haven’t been.

A very close friend of mine, Brett, said something really profound to me.

“There is no place on earth I would rather be right now than here.” So I thought he was talking about being with me and yes he was. And more...

“Imagine having weeds in your garden and then watering them. “

He was talking about his life. He has learnt to embrace each and every moment and loves his life. The seeds he plants are what he wants and his choices reflect this. He is hap-py and at the risk of sounding cliché, his life is truly a garden of roses.

When I look at people who have amazing lives I get cu-rious. What is it that they do that has them create these amazing experiences? This is what stood out for me. These people have realised that where they focus their atten-tion, they focus their lives.

If they want to create an amazing life, their focus and attention is on amazing expe-riences and not on the things that bring them down. They grow roses.This does to dis-count the fact that they have

challenges in life. I call these the circumstances of their life. I call these the circumstances of their life.

I call these the circumstances of their life. They have learnt to accept these challenges as lessons and have

put the necessary steps in place to deal with them.

They are very clear that they do not want to focus on these issues as this just creates more of them.

Imagine having weeds in your garden and then water-ing them. This is what we as people do when they focus all their attention on the circum-stances of our lives.

People who have amazing lives have learnt to appreciate each moment for what it is? They do not waste their moments wishing they were somewhere else or wanting something else. They have cultivated an inner peace of acceptance for who they are and where they find themselves at any given moment.

Their focus is on what they want and not on what they do not want...

Continues on page 34...

Inspiration

27

The Goddess

Image by Brian Donavan

WiThin

Free Your Mind

Free Your MindLungisa Sonqishe Interviews Richard J Kossef about

“The Mind Experience”

Hi Richard, give us a little background about yourself and what you did before your cur-rent work.

I grew up in Johannesburg where I matriculated and obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Commerce through UNISA. I started my business career with an investment fund, but later moved on to the Stock Exchange where I spent 10 years trading and finding out all about the business world. How was ‘The Mind Experience’ born?

After that (at the age of 36) I took break for a year from society and went into Nature. I travelled to the Tsitsikamma and lived off the land with a few friends. Coming back into society, I began to develop my experience from the previ-ous year. A lady I helped, told me her session with me was an experience. This gave me the understanding that Life is about experiencing the “me”. And so The Mind Experience was born. What is ‘The Mind Experience?

The Mind Experience is the ending of mind control. It is the understanding of our-selves. The Mind Experience heals bad memories, heals emotions, repairs thoughts and sets people free. Would you say that in today’s society a lot of people are suffering from depression and emotional pain and don’t even know it? And why is that?

In today’s society it seems like everything is happening all at once, at such a fast pace. With all the demands that are placed upon us there is no time nor space to reflect upon ourselves . We work hard and play hard, but there is little “me” time. Many people are suffering from emotional pain and depression and think that is normal. We are told to take a pill to calm down and relax. Many of us also love alcohol but this is a temporary solu-tion and our problems will not go away, in fact they will get worse. Once we are addicted to anything and do not deal with the problem, we are in serious trouble. Why is it important to acknowl-edge how we feel, rather than just resist and get-on with our day? We are stressed after-all and with deadlines to meet.

It is vitally important to ac-knowledge how we feel and to look after our emotional/psychological well being as a priority. The fact is you are the most important person in the world because without you there is no world. There is a saying that goes.. what we resist persists.. and that is so true. it is, therefore, important not to resist what we feel, but rather to under-stand it. With understanding comes more energy to face immediate demands and meet deadlines. Without under-standing Life becomes so much more difficult. Depression does not happen overnight, it comes about in stages.

Richard J Kossef www.themindexperience.co.za

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Image by Dejenee Shiflet

When a problem is not at-tended to it grows and fes-ters. After time this leads to a major amount of stress which leads to even more depres-sion and the mind and body start to grow tired with little positive energy. Our minds can make our bodies ill, but conversely a healthy mind keeps our bodies healthy. We need to attend to our stress levels before they accumulate and explode. “Society has made Life into a competition, a race of winners and losers but Life is much more than that.”

Why is it so important to be aware of our thoughts? And how do we do this?

We think from the moment we wake to the time we go to sleep. In reality, ‘Thought’ is the power that controls our lives and we need to start to pay attention to our thoughts, their fears and demands, so that we can better under-stand ourselves. Understand-ing of our thoughts gives us the ability to cope with out-ward pressures. Repetitive thinking is often negative and it wears us down. We need to find the best way for our inner world to relate and cope with the outer world. How best to join the 2 worlds. Thoughts and emotions need to comple-ment each other and not tear each other apart.

To be aware of our thoughts requires the act of attention. Not listening to the words but experiencing the demands, fears, anxieties and pressures that thought places on us. Also experiencing the feelings and emotions that thought produces in us. The “I” ego in motion.

How does one ‘change their mind’ or their line of thinking and choose differently con-sistently even when they do not particularly feel positive?

Society has made Life into a competition, a race of winners and losers but Life is much more than that. Life is a once in a life-time experience. In order to change our mindset we first have to acknowledge that change is needed. To un-derstand ourselves we need to explore what about us is causing our negative thoughts and feelings. The positive ones look after themselves. “Numbing the pain through medication cause major health problems and the more numb we become the less we are able to feel who we are.” Changing a negative thought for a positive thought by pos-itive thinking seems at first as a solution but can actually lead to all kinds of problems because we are forcing our-selves to have a different thought . Every thought pro-duces its own repetitive

feeling. This is the trap we the human race are caught in. Force is not what mental and emotional well being is all about.

“The collective con-sciousness of human-ity is more than one’s personal thought. It includes the thoughts of all humanity...”

Being aware of the “Self” in motion, is the process that connects our minds to our bodies, positive and negative and this creates a healing force that is natural, power-ful and permanent. We were made to feel pleasure and pain, not only pleasure. Our fears and anxieties need to be experienced and understood. Numbing the pain through medication cause major health problems and the more numb we become the less we are able to feel who we are. Is the ego - personal and col-lective - keeping us primitive and standing in our way to self-discovery?

This is a clever and very in-teresting question. The ego, a term we love, that Freud invented, is the content of our personal thoughts that makes up who we are, from all of our past experienc-es. The “me”. Our repetitive thoughts that refuse to leave us alone often times cre-ate turmoil in our emotional state.

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The collective consciousness of humanity is more than one’s personal thought. It in-cludes the thoughts of all hu-manity, and more than that it includes mechanical thought. All thoughts throughout the history of humankind make up our collective conscious-ness . Life is a mysterious Intelligence Force replicat-ing itself in this moment and we try to understand this movement with our thoughts but our thoughts, which live in past memory, can never understand a living moving Force. Our senses and feel-ings are needed for that. We need to recognize that the ego lives in yesterday, but Life lives in this moment. So the ego will always stand in the way of self discovery, in the way of evolving. We are a lot more like each other than we would like to imagine. We all share the primitive memory of our ancestors in our conscious-ness. It is part of the content that makes up our collective consciousness, our make up. In the same manner, as we evolve individually, we affect the collective. Is, therefore, the ego re-sponsible for our negative thoughts, emotional turmoil, anxiety and fear?

Thought is memory and per-sonal thoughts are the mem-ory of our past experiences which in turn project with hope, desire and fear into the future.

The inner turmoil we experience is created by a number of situations. First there is the genetic code of memory we are born with in our DNA. Recycled molecules from the chain of our ancestors that eventually became us. Then there is our conditioning from our upbringing, our parents, and how they repeated the same action as their par-ents. Also society’ condi-tioning upon us is huge. And then there is our day to day life with all the problems it brings us.

People are differ-ent and unique and though we all have such different prob-lems, in the end we all have a deep seated con-nection. Thinking breeds and gener-ates all this because it is the place where the information for our conditioning and in-doctrination is stored. Society puts so little emphasis on our thinking process which is the core of our emotional and mental problems. Changing the subject ever so slightly, tell us more about the typical person that comes to see you.

I find that the typical person that comes to me is either desperate or inquisitive. I have worked with a variety of people, ranging in age, gen-der and religion.

People are different and unique and though we all have such different problems, in the end we all have a deep seated connection. The first session is always the most important and the most pow-erful one. What about your workshops, what is their general content? When & Where is your next one?

Before a workshop I need to do a session with a per-son face to face. Skype also works incredibly well. There is a lot of new information that needs to be shared from one mind to another.

The content of the workshops vary, and depends on whether it is for a business organiza-tion or individuals in a group. The basic information is for a mindset change.

Our website contains some links to the type of content in our courses. When there is a need for a workshop, I give it, for companies or individual groups.

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Richard J Koseff+27 (0) 72 420 [email protected]

...Continues from page 27

They live their lives for themselves and find a balance between being selfish and selfless. They have carefully planted the right seeds and are reaping the rewards of it.

I remember coaching an amazing guy who had so much going for him in his life. He had his own business, a beautiful family, he was a great sportsman and yet had circumstances that had start-ed weighing him down. He had created this life because he had learnt to focus on what he wanted.

“We are the gardeners of our lives and we need to learn to plant and grow roses and not blame the world and the circumstances for our weeds.”

He now found himself in a ‘Rut.” The circumstances of his life started becoming very prevalent in his day-to-day experiences and the more he focused on them, the more they showed up and the more the quality of his life dimin-ished.

He eventually realised that he was focusing his attention on the wrong things. We identi-fied what the issues were and put plans in place to deal with them. He could now comfort-ably focus his attention on the roses he loved and not the weeds he struggled to get under control.

“We need to take re-sponsibility for our lives.”

The important life lesson here is that our minds are a garden and we create the future we want through the focus and attention we place with our thoughts on the various areas of our lives.

We are the only ones who get to choose what we think so we are constantly creating our futures, with every thought in every moment.

We are the gardeners of our lives and we need to learn to plant and grow roses and not blame the world and the circumstances for our weeds. We need to take responsibility for our lives. Here are a few simple things you can do to ‘grow roses’ in you life:

1. Create a Vision board of the life you want using pho-tos, pictures and words

2. Use positive affirmations as the fertilizer for creating great experiences

3. Notice how you feel by bringing awareness to the moment. If it’s Fear vs. Love then change your thoughts. Do this consistently and being aware of the moment be-comes second nature to you

4. Day dream and create with your heart. The mind creates limitations and the heart is free

5. Journal about greatnessand what an amazing life you have. Celebrate your life

If you want a great life thenstart being a great gardener. Take responsibility for your life and change the way you think because every thought is cre-ating something.

I say to people who don’t change what they don’t like in their lives; “When the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change, then you will make the change. I will be waiting for your call.”

Stephen Light iS a LeaderShip expert who uSeS neuroScience aS a pLat-form for being more effective at underStanding and changing SeLf. he aSSiSt LeaderS in finding more effective wayS of Leading peopLe through changeS reSuLting in the objectiveS of teamS being met.

For more info on Stephen Light please go to page

“The mind is a powerful force.

It can enslave us or empower us.

it can plunge us into the depths of misery

or take us to the heights of ecstacy.

learn to use the power wisely”~ David Cuschieri

Image by Leszek Leszczynski

Blank CanvasBy Lungisa Sonqishe

Ilove the idea of a brand new start. Starting over, with an absolutely clean canvas. Sort of like when we are born, free of ideas, concepts, beliefs or notions.

The idea that, we have learned everything we know from any-one and every

one who has ever come in contact with us, is intriguing. Moreover, the thought that we have absorbed information from everything that we have ever seen, heard, felt, touched or tasted, brands life as even more mysterious.

Now, to think that we are who

we are -or think we are – be-cause of all these interactions, experiences, relationships and contributions, is mind-bog-gling. Some of this learning or knowledge must have been ab-sorbed subliminally, some must have been accepted voluntarily and some was enforced, sure-ly.

Painted PicturesWe are now painted pictures, no longer blank canvases. These pictures portray learnt rules, regulations, guidelines, princi-ples, opinions, doctrines, dog-mas and the different ways of BEING. However, none of us are characterised by the same de-piction. We are unique, part of

it is because our canvas-es were painted by different painters trying to illustrate their discernment of the big-ger-picture.

“As long as you’re true to you, you believe it and you make others believe, then what you’re doing is just art. If you give everybody a blank canvas and some paint, not everybody’s pic-ture is going to be exactly the same, but it’s still art. I just do what I do.” - Jake Owen

Since birth, as blank canvases, we had everyone that came our path; pick up a paintbrush saturated with the colour of their choice, paint away on our lovely pure selves. Some of these artists are very skilled at their craft and they careful-ly painted lovely mirages as they perceived them. Some are not really sure of what they are doing, but try to do their very best. Others, how-ever, do not know what they are doing and they do not care how they are doing it, they just add their brush strokes to the canvas anyway.

Why paint differentlyNow here we are, beautiful canvases, with different art forms depicted by many dif-ferent artists. I must also add that some of us share the same artists i.e. the same parents, the same country, same school teacher, same culture and so on. However, as pointed out, even the artists we share, paint differently each time, they never paint the same image. Why is that?

After all, we could be sitting in the same class, listening to the same teacher, telling us the same thing. Then why is she painting differently on each and every one of us?Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we all came bearing different pic-tures already depicted on our canvases. Consequently, the next artist works with the available space on the canvas and uses the available colour on the colour palette.Here is a question, what hap-pens when we wake up one day and suddenly we are aware of the labels and identi-ties that have become synon-ymous with who we are? What if one day we strongly feel that the painting does nothing to represent who we believe we are?

Who do I choose to becomeHow do we start over? How do we erase the picture and paint something that we be-lieve characterises our true essence? Is the desire to start over with a clean canvas de-nies who we are and where we came from? Or are we truly defined by rules, culture, laws, race, regulations, opinions and belief systems? Finally, what about our part as creative artists…how do we paint on canvases that come our way at any given moment?Perhaps we are meant to be great artists. Perhaps it all de-pends on what kind of paint-ers we choose to be. Do we choose to paint beautiful man-sions with many doors and windows that lead to many different possibilities, or do we choose to paint dungeons with no way out?

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Image by Henry...

What to Do With a Great IdeaBy Dr. Maria Phalimewww.mariaphalime.com

We’ve all met them; some of us might even be them. The people with the great ideas.

You listen attentively to them while they tell you their idea, and you think: that’s genius! Secretly you feel jealous that you didn’t have the bright idea yourself. You imagine that this fabulous idea could really change the way peo-ple do things, not to mention have a major impact on your bank balance.

Some time passes and the next time you see your idea friend they enthrall you with the details of another idea.

“What happened to the first idea?” you ask, perplexed.

They respond with a blank expression, as if you im-agined it all, and then quickly shake their head to dismiss your question. Meanwhile you are left wondering wheter you

are losing your mind after all. Or perhaps you were naive to

think that their first idea was all that wonderful.

But after a while, when you have sat through the elabo-ration of yet another genius idea, the penny drops: this person is big on ideas; that’s all.

Ideas are great; they really are. Every innovative solution or breakthrough invention started with an idea. The essential difference, though, is that Isaac Newton didn’t simply move on to the next idea after the apple fell on his head. He ruminated over the mechanics of this occurrence, worked on the mathematical formulae to describe it, and ultimately arrived at one of the most important scientific discoveries in history - the Law of Universal Gravitation.

Are you an idea person? Do you find yourself coming up with game-changing ideas all the time? How many of those have even seen the light of day? Ultimately something can only be a game-changer

if it makes it onto the field of play in the first place.

The world is full of people with great ideas. Unfortunately far too many of those ideas are fleeting; they don’t survive long enough for their merit to be tested.The number one killer of great ideas is asking “how” too soon. And when the answers to “how” aren’t immediately obvious - or they seem too complex or ardu-

ous to pursue - the idea is re-placed with another.

What if your idea is the solu-tion everyone’s been waiting for? What can you do to make sure that it doesn’t end up in the ideas graveyard before it’s even had a chance to show its face?

*Sit with it for a while. Of-

ten this process of incubation and evaluation will make the “how” obvious.

*When you are clear about the first step to take (the first is all you need), get in the game by taking action. It’s the only way you’ll know whether your idea will fly or bomb.

*Learn from the process;

make adjustments where nec-essary. And if it looks like you have really hit a dead end, let go and move on.

The truth is it doesn’t real-ly matter what you do with a great idea, as long as you do something. That way you get a shot at potentially changing the world.

Image by Catalina Briceno

Fear Of Judgement

Image by Dejenee Shiftlet

By Lungisa Sonqishe

“Perhaps judging less frees you from judge-ment.

Perhaps the judgement you fear from others is really in you.

Perhaps you are, essen-tially, your greatest judge. You are the one you are really petrified of.

Think about it, what would really happen if someone judged you?

Yet, here you are, beat-ing yourself-up about it Over and over again. But Who’s doing the beat-ing-up? The one who judges you ot yourself?

In truth, you Fear Your own reaction to judgete-ment.”

When I started writing my memoir three years ago I didn’t realise the far-reaching impact it would have. Not only has the process helped me to understand and ultimately make peace with a very chal-lenging chapter of my life, the book has also brought the shortcomings of the healthcare system under public scrutiny. To think I simply set out to write my story!

Our stories are valuable. They are treasure troves of insights, and they help to shed light

on the many mysteries of our lives. They may even shed light on the challenges faced by other people and our socie-ty as a whole.

So how do we uncover this treasure? It starts with the understanding of our lives as a narrative. Steve Jobs once said: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will some-how connect in your future. You have to trust in something

- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

With narrative as the underly-ing premise, we can begin to understand our lives and expe-riences through the following practices:

Attention: Our lives will nev-er make sense unless we pay attention to the events and experiences which shape them.

Your Story

is Powerfull

By Dr. Maria Phalimewww.mariaphalime.com

Checkout her award winning memoir:

Postmortem- The Doctor Who Walked Away

In a previous post I wrote about the value of journaling and reflective writing, and this can be a valuable tool for paying attention and keeping track of all that’s going on in our lives.

Honest enquiry: It’s easy to get sucked into life’s dramas. However, in order to piece together a coherent narrative, we’ve got to allow ourselves to ask questions. Why is this happening? Is this an isolated event or is it part of a pattern? By asking these types of ques-tions - and answering them

honestly - we start to construct the thread of the story which runs through our lives.

Non-attachment: Now this is a toughie. Many of us have clear ideas about what we want in life, so we are often resistant to indications that our paths may be moving in a different direction to what we had envis-aged. When we are attached to certain outcomes we continue to bash our heads furiously against doors which refuse to open, and we ignore those that seem to open effortlessly for us. Non-attachment requires

that we are willing to go where life leads us and trust that this is part of our story’s unfolding.

It may feel unsettling at first but once you embrace life as narrative it becomes quite thrilling to watch it unfold. Even when you are in the middle of a crisis at the back of your mind you will know that it’s all part of the sto-ry and that there is value in everything that happens. It actually feels a lot more em-powering than living like every moment is a shot in the dark..

Image by Bruno Taddei

My old FRIEND withinBy Anonymous

I mould myself to meet YOUR expectationsI don’t know what those arePerhaps I am presumptuous I know, for sure, that I crave YOUR acceptanceAnd I keep changing myself… without

Without… I search for home I seek for contentmentI accumulateI consumePerhaps if I look further, and if I obey more

I feel overwhelmedI am overcome by anxiety I keep looking, I keep changingI still can not find YOUI search, without, for YOU…

Emotional turbulence and chaos takes me on a pathWithin… I am petrified, but there YOU areSo close, I did not know it was trueMy dear friend how warm you are I AM at AWE

Within… YOU are inexplicably calmSo Innocent that nothing, without, stands a chanceFrom within everything without is beautifulSuch bliss is in YOUR DwellingI do not wish to leave

Image by Daniele Franceschini

Image by Jofel Tobias

Friends

Forgiveness ☆ Respect ☆ Inspiration ☆ Empathy ☆ Nature ☆ Dependability ☆ Selflessness

unleash Your inner PoWer

COURAGE

Image by Hemant Kumar