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One Mans Opinion
Part I
Im really ready for this year to end. You know the challenges Ivefaced this year so I wont repeat them here. Even my year reboot to2012 2.0 which started out fine then things fell apart once again.Even now as I write this, Im alternating between chills and sweats
as I go through the Head and Chest Cold of the Century. I havenot had one this bad in many, many years. So good riddance 2012. I know you were just doing your
thing and myself and my family just happen to be your victims this time. So please just leave usalone for the next few days.
Thanks for reading. Ill tell you what we have planned for 2013 in the next issue. I really dont feellike writing any more so..
Just, One Mans Opinion.Live Long and Prosper
Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher
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Laughs
When a physician remarked
on a new patient's extraordi-narily ruddy complexion, hesaid, "High blood pressure,Doc. It comes from my fam-ily."
"Your mother's side or yourfather's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It'sfrom my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "Howcould your wife's family giveyou high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet'em sometime, Doc!"
Laughs
A young boy and his doting grand-mother were walking along the sea
shore when a huge wave appeared out
of nowhere, sweeping the child out to
sea. The horrified woman fell to herknees, raised her eyes to the heavensand begged the Lord to return her be-
loved grandson.
And, another wave reared up and de-posited the stunned child on the sand.
The grandmother looked the boy overcarefully. He was fine.
But still she stared up angrily toward
the heavens. "When we came," shesnapped indignantly, "he had a hat!"
Laughs
Jack has died. His lawyer is standingbefore the family and reads out Jack's
Last Will and Testament:
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave thehouse, 50 acres of land, and 1 million
dollars.
"To my son Barry, I leave my Big
Lexus and the Jaguar.
"To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht
and $250,000.
"And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who al-
ways insisted that health is better thanwealth, I leave my treadmill."
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Website: Scribd.com Keyword: The Hot Spot
Laughs
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my an-ticipated evening meal and, as I answered, I wasgreeted with, "Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?"
This didn't sound anything like my name, so Iasked, "Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber-band-Powered Freezer Company or somethinglike that and then I asked him if he knew Wil-hiam personally and why was he was calling thisnumber. I then said, off to the side, "Get really
good pictures of the body and all the blood."
I then turned back to the phone and advised thecaller that he had entered a murder scene andmust stay on the line because we had already
traced this call and he would be receiving asummons to appear in the local courthouse totestify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to
his name, address, phone number at home, atwork, who he worked for, how he knew the deadguy and could he prove where he had beenabout one hour before he made this call. Thetelemarketer was getting very concerned and his
answers were given in a shaky voice.
Then I proceeded to tell him that we had locatedhis position at his work place and the policewere entering the building to take him into cus-
tody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and thescurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me, as I returned to the table,why I had tears streaming down my face and so
help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen min-utes.
My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.
Laughs
Does your organization struggle with theproblem of properly fitting people to jobs?Here is a handy hint for ensuring success injob placement. Take the prospective employ-ees you are trying to place and put them in a
room with only a table and two chairs. Leavethem alone for two hours, without any in-struction. At the end of that time, go back andsee what they are doing.
- If they have taken the table apart in thattime, put them in Engineering.
- If they are counting the butts in the ashtray,
assign them to Finance.
- If they are screaming and waving their arms,send them off to Manufacturing.
- If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel isa good spot for them.
- If they are writing up the experience, sendthem to Tech Pubs.
- If they don't even look up when you enterthe room, assign them to Security.
- If they try to tell you it's not as bad as itlooks, send them to Marketing.
- If they've left early, put them in Sales.
- And if they're all bullying each other, they'reManagement material.
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Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com
You Tube: SavHotSpot
Watch Our Videos from HOT SPOT TV
On the HOT SPOT Channel
Laughs
In the traffic court of a large Mid-western city, a young woman was
brought before the judge to answerfor a ticket she received for driving
through a red light. She explained
to the judge that she was a school
teacher and requested an immediatedisposal of her case so she couldget to the school on time.
A wild gleam came into the judge'seyes. "You're a schoolteacher, eh?"
he said. "Madam, I shall realize my
lifelong ambition. I've waited yearsto have a schoolteacher in thiscourt. Now sit down at that tableand write 'I will not drive through
red lights' 500 times!"
Laughs
A rookie police officer was out for his
first ride in a cruiser with an experienced
partner. A call came in telling them to dis-
perse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and ob-
served a small crowd standing on a cor-
ner.
The rookie rolled down his window and
said, "Let's get off the corner people."
A few glances, but no one moved, so he
barked again, "Let's get off that corner...
NOW!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to
leave, casting puzzled stares in his direc-
tion.
Proud of his first official act, the young
policeman turned to his partner and
asked, "Well, how did I do?"
Pretty good," chuckled the vet,
"especially since this is a bus stop."
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Website: Facebook.com Ronald Gilliard
Website: Facebook.com The Hot Spot Magazine
Keep in Touch and Find Out Whats
Going On in the Clubs and at Events,
Laughs
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven,where he meets the Lord Himself.
The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and ifthere is any way I can make your stay in heaven more
comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life Ihave lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hardwooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and awonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farmingaccident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, the Lord isthere to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even womenwith brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired ofrunning. Do you think we could have roller skates so thatwe don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse withbeautiful new roller skates.
About a week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat andfinds him snoozing on the pillow.
The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How arethings since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderfulhere. Better than I could have ever expected. And those'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
Laughs
A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted'
sign in a window.
He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-
waannn-t the j-joooob-b."
"I don't know if this job would suit you because ofyour speaking impediment," said the owner.
"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-
kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!"
said the man.
"O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell
them." said the owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later.
"H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man.
The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a
dozen more Bibles and sent him out. The mancame back in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-
yooour m-m-money."
The owner said, "This is fantastic. You sold more
Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a
week. Tell me, what do you say to the people
when they come to the door?"
"W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door
bell, a-a-and s-s-say 'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-
maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t-t-to buy
thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-
want m'me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?"
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You know what Youre doing, but Nobody else does.
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Sudoku Solution
LaughsLaughs
5 6 3 7 2 4 9 1 8
8 9 7 5 3 1 2 4 6
1 2 4 6 8 9 7 3 5
9 3 6 1 4 7 8 5 2
2 8 1 3 9 5 4 6 7
4 7 5 8 6 2 1 9 3
3 5 2 4 1 8 6 7 9
7 1 9 2 5 6 3 8 4
6 4 8 9 7 3 5 2 1
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1998-2012
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