HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRUCE! MAKE YOUR OWN BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP CANS BY DAVE MAASS • DESIGN BY CHRIS KALB ATTACH HERE ATTACH HERE ATTACH HERE NET WT. 10 3 / 4 OZ. (305g) BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANY JACKSONVILLE, OR COUPON PLEASE RECYCLE PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS ATTACH HERE ATTACH HERE ATTACH HERE NET WT. 10 3 / 4 OZ. (305g) BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANY JACKSONVILLE, OR COUPON PLEASE RECYCLE PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS Cream of Darkness QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER 1. Give it some sugar, baby. 2. Agitate with boomstick. 3. Intone the following words: “Klaatu barada nikto!” Bruce Campbell’s Cream of Darkness is based on an ancient recipe from the Necronomicon and made with only the finest ingredients from the gardens of medieval English peasants. For Deadite deliciousness, look for Cream of Darkness at your nearest S-Mart. • SERVING SUGGESTION: TO QUIET THE IMP IN YOUR BELLY, POUR IT BOILING DIRECTLY DOWN THE THROAT. 35 ¢ OFF Ghoul-Ash Another product from Campbell’s Necronomicon line! Groovy! Not just good... Nutrition Facts Serv. Size 1/2 cup (120mL) condensed soup Servings about 2.5 Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0 *Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 8% • Grade-A Ham 10% • Shemp 4% Amount/serving %DV* Badassium 140g 94% Zingers 45g 9% Attitude 20g Beatings 66g Stubble 4g Cultidium 100mg 23% Amount/serving %DV* Humor 90mg 22% Machismo 690mg 20% Sex Appeal 10g 18% Grooviness 6g 8% Sugars, Baby 4g Chin 40g Bisque o’ County Jr QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER 1. Add cheese. Lots of cheese. 2. Stir in steamed punk. 3. Served cold, like revenge. Bruce Campbell’s Bisque o’ County Jr is a southwestern soup that combines the flavors of the 56th century with a Wild West sensibility. Legend has it that it hasn’t been passed down for centuries, but stolen back and forth between bounty hunters, con women and bandits. • SERVING SUGGESTION: TRY IT WITH A SIDE OF FIRST SEASONAL X-FRIES. 35 ¢ OFF Daring Dragoon Stew or Half-off Cleopasta, $ 25.25 Very fancy! Nutrition Facts Serv. Size 1/2 cup (120mL) condensed soup Servings about 2.5 Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0 *Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 16% • Grade-A Ham 2% • Shemp 0% Amount/serving %DV* Badassium 75g 48% Zingers 0g 0% Attitude 16g Beatings 23g Stubble 36g Cultidium 2mg 0% Amount/serving %DV* Humor 45mg 11% Machismo 700mg 21% Sex Appeal 10g 18% Grooviness 2g 3% Sugars, Baby 8g Chin 30g
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HA
PPY
BIR
THD
AY,
BR
UCE
!M
AK
E YO
UR
OW
N B
RU
CE CAM
PBELL’S
SO
UP CA
NS
BY DAVE MAASS • DESIGN BY CHRIS KALB
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
Cream ofDarkness
QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS
MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER1. Give it some sugar, baby.
2. Agitate with boomstick.
3. Intone the following words: “Klaatu barada nikto!”
Bruce Campbell’s Cream of Darkness is based on an ancient recipe from the Necronomicon and made with only the finest ingredients from the gardens of medieval English peasants. For Deadite deliciousness, look for Cream of Darkness at your nearest S-Mart.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: TO QUIET THE IMP IN YOUR BELLY, POUR IT BOILING DIRECTLY DOWN THE THROAT.
35¢ OFF
Ghoul-AshAnother product from Campbell’s Necronomicon line!
Groovy!
Not just good...
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 8% • Grade-A Ham 10% • Shemp 4%
MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER1. Add cheese. Lots of cheese.
2. Stir in steamed punk.
3. Served cold, like revenge.
Bruce Campbell’s Bisque o’ County Jr is a southwestern soup that combines the flavors of the 56th century with a Wild West sensibility. Legend has it that it hasn’t been passed down for centuries, but stolen back and forth between bounty hunters, con women and bandits.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: TRY IT WITH A SIDE OF FIRST SEASONAL X-FRIES.
35¢ OFF
Daring DragoonStew or Half-off Cleopasta, $25.25
Very fancy!
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 16% • Grade-A Ham 2% • Shemp 0%
Another day, another defilement, another delicious soup! When you drop your grappling hook into a bowl of smooth Bruce Campbell’s Autolycus Cheese soup, you’ll know that the King of Thieves is also the King of Sieves.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: USE AS A SIDE DISH TO COMPLEMENT BEEF CAKES AND FREE-RANGE CHICKS.
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 6% • Grade-A Ham 20% • Shemp 4%
Ingredients: Artichoke heart of gold, testosterone. Not a significant source of modesty, self-control or common sense.
GumboHo-Tep
HEALTH WARNINGS:
Bruce Campbell’s Gumbo Ho-tep was said to be Elvis Presley’s second favorite food after the banana, peanut butter and bacon sandwich. This soup is just like the gumbo his mummy used to make and, as a significant source of Vitamin JFK, it is now served in all fine nursing homes throughout East Texas.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: FOLLOW A BOWL OF GUMBO HO-TEP WITH CHOCOLATE DING DONGS, BABY RUTH AND PAYDAY BARS.
35¢ OFF
Maniac Cupof Tomato Soup Protects & serves one.
Hunger has left the building!• Has not been found to shrink
growths on one’s pecker.
• May contain cockroach parts.
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 6% • Grade-A Ham 4% • Shemp 0%