2016-10-19 Actionable Approaches to People Problems

Thrive. Grow. Achieve.

Actionable Approaches to People Problems Anne Collier, Arudia October 19, 2016

Actionable Approaches to People Problems

Anne E. Collier, MPP, JD, PCCExecutive Coaching & Development

AMP UP PERFORMANCEWORKPLACE TOOLKIT

© MMXIV ARUDIA arudia.com

What would be most valuable for youto learn today?

POLL EV. . .

A TEAM IS . . .

3

© MMXIII-MMXIV ARUDIA www.arudia.com

##


10 5 3 17 5

© MMXIV ARUDIA www.arudia.com

Hmm . . . what’s in here?

MINDSET: BE CURIOUS

© MMXVI Arudia arudia.com

##

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Rumi, Persian Poet 1207-1273 AD

36

© MMXIII-MMXVI ARUDIA arudia.com

Win-Lose

Appropriate Good Right

Win-Win Needs Unmet Needs Met

Inappropriate Bad Wrong

MINDSET: YOUR FILTER 38


WIN-LOSE MINDSET

What happens in communication when the mindset is right v. wrong?

Inappropriate Bad Wrong

Appropriate Good Right

38


WIN-WIN MINDSET

What happens in communication when the mindset is that all needs can be met?

Needs Unmet Needs Met

38

NEED/GOAL V. STRATEGY 34

© MMXIII ARUDIA www.arudia.com

Win-Win 46


Win-Win 46


Win-Win 46


Win-Win 46


WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM

Win-LoseBlame

Win-WinAwareness

Self Others

Sense Own Feelings & Needs

GuiltObligation

ShameDepression

Anger

Sense Others Feelings & Needs

44


WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM 44

44WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM

Win-LoseBlame

Win-WinAwareness

Self Others


SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP!

STIMULUS

Internal Reaction

42

Pause/Reflect . . . Choose BestExternal

ReactionResponse


PRINCIPLE #1: ALL NEEDS MET

RIGHTor

WRONG

47

PRINCIPLE #2: NEED/GOAL V. STRATEGY 47


PRINCIPLE #3: SELF AWARENESS 47


PRINCIPLE #4: AWARENESS OF OTHERS 47


PRINCIPLE #5: REQUEST

47


PRINCIPLE #6: CHOOSE TO RESPOND 47


Win-Win

Just the facts Like a movie camera Avoid judgment Be concise

“Just the facts, ma’am”

49


Win-Win

Notice what is purely factual

Notice the embedded judgments

WHAT ARE MAKING IT MEAN?

50

COMMUNICATION FOR THE WORKPLACE

ADD SILENT VIDEO OF SOMEONE GETTING YELLED AT -- ADD OLD TIME PIANO MUSIC

LADDER OF INFERENCE

I TAKE ACTION based on belief

LATE

DRESSED NICELY

INTERVIEW

NOT HAPPY

UNRELIABLE

LEFT OUT

I ADD MEANING

I ADOPT BELIEFSabout the world

I DRAW CONCLUSIONS

I SELECT DATA fromwhat I observe

I OBSERVE DATAfrom the world

51

(UNMET) NEEDS

FRIENDSHOMEWORK

BEHAVIOR

FEELINGS

LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE





LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE

MORELESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE LESS IS MORE



LESS IS


Exercise:Neutrally and without judgment, briefly describe something that happened to you that you did not like

Win-Win

Switch: 2 minutes each

“Just the facts, ma’am”

STATE THE FACTS

50


Win-Win ##

✓Feelings checkConcernStress ✓ i

56


Coaching Skills 56

Step 2


Win-Win ##

Evaluations

Feelings

56

Anticipate Prepare

Deal With Your OWN Defensiveness

ReflectDon’t be pushed

Ask Yourself What am I making

it mean?

56-57


Hmm . . .

57

what’s in here?

STAY CURIOUS


CAUTION: WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM

OPTION 1: Let it go

57

OPTION 2: Address it

57


NO “BEACH BALL” RULE 29

59Win-Win


Win-Win ##

Unmet need created the unpleasant feeling

59


Win-Win ##

another’s

actions or

failures

59


Win-Win ##

your desire

for a

strategy

59


Exercise:

*Refer to Appendix A and B for list of Feelings and Needs (120)

Switch: 3 minutes each

State (i) how you felt when a need was met and (ii) the need that was met

State (i) how you felt when a need was unmet and (ii) the unmet need

60

AWARENESS OF SELF

Win-Win


Win-Win ##

Remember: Your request is for just 1 strategy

Specific, Doable,Positive

DEMAND

61


Win-Win ##

Would you be willing to . . . ?

61


PRINCIPLE #6: CHOOSE TO RESPOND 47


Exercise:

61Win-Win

1: Facts

2: Feelings

3: Needs/Goals

4: Request

FOLLOW THE STEPS

3 minutes eachSpecific, Doable, Positive

MAKE A REQUEST


Win-Win ##


Win-Win ##


Win-Win


WIN-WIN

“NO” Opportunity for

Awareness of Others

6247

(UNMET) NEEDS

FRIENDSHOMEWORK

BEHAVIOR

FEELINGS


Win-Win

Every “NO” is a “yes”

Identify underlying “yes”

Be persistent!

62


FIND THE WIN-WIN

Step 4: Make Another Request

Step 5: Agree on Strategy

63


COMMUNICATION FOR THE WORKPLACETHE CHILLING EFFECTS OF HIERARCHY

74


Coaching Skills 74

BE OPTIMISTIC


Win-Win ##

OTHERS’ NEEDS

76-77


Coaching Skills

ACCOUNTABILITY

76Step 5


Win-Win

ASK YOURSELF . . .

Asking or demanding?

Asking in a way that can be heard?

How do you respond to “no”?

80


Win-Win

SIGNS OF OLD PARADIGM

Focused on a strategy/“the right way”

Unaware of your own and others’ feelings, needs, and goals

Experience guilt, blame, or judgment

80

PATIENCE AND PERSISTENCE 81


84WIN-WINMOVE FORWARD 81

Deal With OTHER’S Defensiveness


TIP #1: FRAME IT UP 72


TIP #3: RESTATE YOUR GOAL 72

TIP #4: FOCUS ON MUTUAL GOALS 72


ON “SEND”

What Gets In The Way of Listening? 77

© MMXIII-MMXIV ARUDIA www.arudia.comCORRECT OTHERS’ PERCEPTIONS

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY OF LISTENING? 77


YOUR RESPONSE/REBUTTAL



OTHER THINGS ON YOUR MINDWHAT GETS IN THE WAY OF LISTENING?

Email Kids

Sports

77


YOUR OWN FEELINGS



NOT ENOUGH TIME


CHOICE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SPECIAL WAY

© 2014 ARUDIA arudia.com

SUMMARY SLIDEBody Line One

• Body Line Two

• Body Line Three

• Body Line Four

##

Actionable Approaches to People Problems

Anne E. Collier, MPP, JD, PCCExecutive Coaching & Development

AMP UP PERFORMANCEWORKPLACE TOOLKIT


WHAT DISTINGUISHES

MANAGING

FROM COACHING?

Coaching Skills 89


Coaching Skills

THE BLEND

Tell What to Do

Give Advice Offer Guidance

Make Suggestions

Support In Creating

Own Solutions

Coaching

Managing

Tell Ask

90-91


Coaching Skills

Tell

Quick

Easy

Control

Ensure quality

Consistent process

PROS

CONS

Resistance

Micro-manage

Less buy-in

Lack of creativity

Fewer ideas

Feel controlled

Engages/buy-in

Empowers

Builds confidence

Feel valued

New ideas

Takes time

Give up control

Must be open to other perspectives

May not get what you want

Credibility

Ask

89


Coaching SkillsUSE OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Open-ended questions cannot be answered with:

YESorNO

ABC

94


QUESTIONS THAT WORK

Does that meet your needs?

What is important to you about that?

How have you handled similar situations in the past?

Who can you get support from?

By when will you . . . ?

What can you do with that insight?

How can you hold yourself accountable?

93-94


Loadedquestions

AVOID

Shouldand

Should Not

Words likeinconsiderate

94


80/20 RULE

Coaching Skills 94


COACHING DEMO: LISTEN FOR . . .

Active listening & focus

The steps of the model

Open-ended questions

Paraphrasing what the coachee said

Suggestions v. advice

Neutral language

ULTIMATE GOAL

96


Performance issue

Expectations/directive

Safety/emergency

Process/procedure

New employee training

New information

Expert

Development

Awareness/growth

Independent thinking

Build confidence

Learning opportunity

Engage and empower

Facilitate collaboration

COACH / ASKMANAGE / TELL

Coaching Skills 92


Coaching Skills

COACH / ASKMANAGE / TELL

Usually manager’s solution

Authoritative/command and control

“Make do”

Best for “what” and “why”

Coachee generated solution

Collaborative

Coachee takes responsibility

Supports the coachee in identifying the “how”

YOU CHOOSE

92


Coaching SkillsYOU CHOOSE

“Pure” coaching

Variety of situations

In full or part

Tell What to Do

Give Advice Offer Guidance

Make Suggestions

Support In Creating

Own Solutions

Coaching

Managing

Tell Ask

91


COACHINGWHEN TO USE COACHING 90


Coaching SkillsWHEN TO USE COACHING

90


COACHINGWHEN TO USE COACHING

90


Coaching SkillsMINDSET: CURIOUS NOT JUDGMENTAL

98


Coaching SkillsMINDSET: BE PATIENT

98


Coaching SkillsMINDSET: BE DELIBERATE - CHOOSE TO COACH

98

DISCOVER THE INSIGHT

Insights

Open-ended questions

98


Topic

Current Reality àGoal

Takeaway

Needs

104


Exercise:

Coaching Skills

What are open-ended

questions to support the coachee in Establishing

the Focus?

???

Exercise: COACHING SKILLS PRACTICE

107


COACHING SKILLS

Scenarios 1 and 2

Topic

Current Reality àGoal

Takeaway from this Conversation

Needs

106


COACHINGNEXT STEPS

107


Generate possibilities

Suspend judgment

Paraphrase

Share personal experience

108

Sugges

tion n

ot “sh

ould”

GIVING ADVICE

Neutral language

Not “right answer”/strategy

112


112GIVING ADVICE

Have you thought about trying Strategy A? ”“

“When I was in your situation, I tried Strategy A and

it worked”

“ ”Another option is to . . .

“ ”I have seen Strategy A work for others


Coaching Skills

Focus on the goal and need

Break down into steps

Set target dates

114


Exercise:

Coaching Skills

What are examples of open-ended questions

to support the coachee toCreate An Action Plan?

???

Exercise: COACHING SKILLS PRACTICE

115


Step 4

Clarify action to remove obstacles

Explore resource needs

State support for coachee

Acknowledge feelings and needs

116


Exercise:

Coaching Skills

What are examples of open-ended

questions to support the coachee in Removing Obstacles?

What are examples of workplace obstacles?

What are examples of personal obstacles?

???

Exercise: PRACTICE

118


119Step 5 Establish accountability

Coachee reviews & commits to actions

Reiterate support

© MMXVI ARUDIA www.arudia.com

Reports resultsKey learningsDo differently?

Coaching begins again

121

INSIGHTS 122

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SPECIAL WAY

© 2014 ARUDIA arudia.com

SUMMARY SLIDEBody Line One

• Body Line Two

• Body Line Three

• Body Line Four

##

FOR MORE INFORMATIONPlease contact Anne Collier at

[email protected] or

202-449-9751

THANK YOU!

© MMXVI ARUDIA www.arudia.com

2016-10-19 Actionable Approaches to People Problems

Business