2015 Hamilton College NIght: How To Write Powerful Personal Statements

How To Write Powerful Personal Statements

Rebecca Joseph, PhD

[email protected]

@getmetocollege

Website/App: All College ApplicationEssays

How Important Are Personal Statements?

What do American colleges look for?

1. Grades

2. Rigor of Coursework, School

3. Test Scores

4. Essays/Personal Statements*

5. Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor

6. Activities-Consistency, development, leadership, and initiative

7. Special skills, culture, connections, talents, and passions

The Power and Danger of Essays

1. Give me two reasons why admissions officers value college application essays.

2. Give me two reasons why they often dread reading the majority of them.

Essays=Opportunity

ShareReflectStand Out

Do College Admissions Essays Matter?

"It's not a substitute for a rigorous curriculum, good grades and evidence that you're going to do well,”

Still, the essay can make a difference.

The 10% rule: "If you have 18- or 20,000 applicants, for some of those students, the essay makes a huge difference, both positively and negatively," says admissions dean at the University of Virginia, where admissions counselors read every essay looking for the student's voice.

The first challenge for the writer: picking a topic. Any topic can work — or fail.

The biggest problem for students is starting with too wide a focus. "By the time they get to the details, they run out of space. I'm all for cutting to the chase."

So….Tip 1

Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of completed coursework in many admissions office decisions. Don’t waste this powerful opportunity to share your voice and express who you really are to colleges. Great life stories make you jump off the page and into your match colleges.

A New Paradigm

Tip 2. Develop an overall strategic essay writing plan. College essays should work together to help you communicate key qualities and stories not available anywhere else in your application.

Remember: The package of essays counts…not just one.It’s the message that you communicate along with the power of your stories and

your writingIt’s your ability to take the reader into, through, and beyond your stories quickly

and memorablyTell stories that belong just to you. That’s why a narrow and powerfully, personal

focus is key.

Essays = Opportunity

Take control over the highest ranked non-academic aspect of the application

Realize the package of essays counts…not just one Share their voice Empower students to take ownership of their stories Express who they really are Show (not tell) stories that belong only to them and help

them jump off the page Challenge stereotypes Reflect on their growth and development, including

accomplishments and service Seek to understand what the admission officer is looking for

What DO Admissions Officers Seek?

ContextValues Intellectual curiosity, a playful mind, or a sense of humorCommitment/Depth of Interests Interaction with and/or perception by othersSpecial talents and qualities Realistic self-appraisal

Four Major Application Types: 1. The Common Application

Many private and some public American use the centralized Common Application with their own Writing supplements

It will go live August 1. More than 500 colleges use it. www.commonapp.org Don’t start writing any essays until you see all the essays required

for your top schools. My app-All College Application Essays has the requirements.

1. Common Application Essays

One Long/ 250-650 words –Paste in.

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again.

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Activities: The Common Application leaves room for 10 activitiesAdditional Information: The Common Application allows you to add additional information. Accepts

up to 650 words.Supplemental EssaysThey range from one line to 500 words. Some schools have one, while other have three. They can overlap.

If it says optional, view it as mandatory.

Common Application Writing Supplements

Some long– U Penn, U Chicago (300-650 words)Some medium—Stanford Some small— Columbia, Brown

Four Major Application Types: 2. Large Public Universities

Many large and most prominent public universities have their own applications. Universities of Arizona, California, Indiana, Maryland, Oregon,

Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin—to name just some They each have different essay requirements. They each have your report activities in a different way. But there are ways to use your other essays here as well. They have their own essays. You should gather their topics

and look for ways to use your common application essay as one of your essays for the public colleges, and visa-versa.

UC California

Two essays Respond to both prompts, using a maximum of 1,000 words total. You may allocate the word count as you wish. If you choose to respond to one

prompt at greater length, we suggest your shorter answer be no less than 250 words.

Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)-[Outside-In]Describe the world you come from – for example, your

family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Prompt #2 (all applicants) [Inside-Out]Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,

contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are.

University of Texas Essay Tips

Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear. The university’s essay readers don’t have a perfect essay in mind – as a matter of fact essays that sound like all the rest of them – the essay that is expected – is more likely to be overlooked.

Be yourself. Show us what makes you unique, how you’ve dealt with issues and problems, what you think about the topic at hand. Good writing teachers tell their students to write about what they know. That’s good advice for college essays, too.

Use a natural voice and style. Although it’s always important to use proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, diction, etc., don’t write to try to impress anyone. Use words and a style that are appropriate for the topic you’re writing about, for someone your age, and for someone who’s trying to communicate clearly and logically.

Don’t be overly informal either. Your essay will be read by an adult professional. In almost all cases, you should avoid using words or phrases that you might use when texting someone or on a social networking site.

Develop your ideas. Although the length of your essay alone technically doesn’t matter, developing your ideas completely does matter. If you can do that in a single page of text, that’s good; but if it takes you three pages or so, that’s alright, too (as long as you’re not just adding words to make your essay longer). It’s not realistic to assume that you can clearly communicate your unique perspective about anything in a short paragraph or two.

Organize your thoughts. All good writing has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That doesn’t mean you should be formulaic in your writing (this isn’t a high school exit exam), but you should introduce your idea, provide interesting examples and details in support of your idea, and come to some sort of conclusion at the end.

Don’t respond to the prompt as though you’re answering a question. Again, we don’t have a perfect essay in mind. The prompt is supposed to get your mind churning, to make you want to tell us what you think about something that’s important to you. Your essay is your opportunity to do that.

Four Major Application Types: 3. Private college specific applications

Fewer and fewer major private universities are not on the common application

But there are still holdouts.Georgetown and MIT to name a view.

Make sure you don’t write unnecessary essays as Georgetown essays are like The Common Application.

Four Major Application Types:4. Other systems

Some large public systems have their own applications which do not require long, if any essays. Yet their applications for financial aid or academic support programs add in those requirements. Washington State, for example, several short essays which they share with other state systems.

The Universal Application is another system. It has fewer colleges on it than The Common Application.

Develop A Master Chart

Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each college, including short responses and optional essays. View each essay or short response as a chance to tell a new story and to share your core qualities.

I recommend three sheets. 1. Major deadlines and needs. Break it down by the four

application types 2. Core essays-Color code all the similar or overlapping essays. 3. Supplemental essays. Each college has extra requirements

on the common application. Again color code similar types: Why are you a good match for us? How will you add to the diversity of our campus?

Write the Fewest Yet Most Effective Essays…

Tip 4. Find patterns

between colleges essay requirements.

Use essays more than once.

UC 1 or 2=Common App =Scholarship Essay

Where to Begin: Brainstorm

Brainstorm

Tip 5. Share positive messages and powerful

outcomes. If you want to include challenges, lead

quickly to who you are now.Some states can use only socio-economic

status, but not race, in admissions, but in your essays, your voice and background can emerge.

Brainstorming Tips

1. Starting by writing three short activity statements

2. Reading model essays from actual college websites

3. Looking at other college’s essay prompts-U Chicago, Tufts

4. Writing a “Where I’m From” piece

5. Creating a letter to future roommate or an amazing list of what makes you you.

6. Looking at 5 top FB and Instagram Pictures

7. Reading models from other students

What Did You Do Last Summer?

Daniel-UC 1

…they hurriedly filed past me. Most would not even make eye contact, and the few who did, quickly looked away, once I asked the question, "Would you like to register to vote?"

I repeated this mantra for hours on end, while working to register newly naturalized immigrants to vote in downtown Los Angeles this past summer. Standing in the lobby of the LA Convention Center, I dodged balloons and confetti so that I could greet new citizens and their families as they left their naturalization ceremonies. Multiple generations all beamed as they clung together in joy.

Most people I approached turned away. Like a used car salesman feeling out his customers, I persisted through the rejection and tried many different approaches from foolishly and over-enthusiastically urging them to register to calmly and professionally directing directly them to fill out the proper forms. I did begin to experience some success. At one point, a slight, gentle Peruvian man expressed his desire to vote for the Republican Party in broken English. He then asked, “That’s Obama, right?” While it was beautiful to see a brand new American so quickly inspired by an American political candidate (despite not knowing his party), I wondered about the hundreds who turned away. I did not understand how these brand new citizens did not share my enthusiasm for participating in our democratic political process.

Late in the summer, as yet another day of rejection after rejection left me drained and exhausted, a large Nigerian woman became another in a long line of refusals. Her two young children, however, grew wide-eyed at my pitch. They tugged and pulled on her sleeves, urging her to reconsider and walk over to the registration booth. The smiling mother gently nudged them along, amused by their enthusiasm, but undeterred in her quest to make it outside the broad Convention Center doors and into the bright Southern California sunshine. Finally, my confusion subsided. I though about my own grandparents, who, after emigrating from Iran almost 40 years ago, found involvement in government a more foreign concept than learning English. When they arrived in 1970, they were not as concerned with actively bettering this country as they were with bettering the lives of their children. During their naturalization ceremony, there could easily have been a passionate young teenager imploring them to register to vote. And most likely, they rushed past him, eager to burst out into their new country and make a better life for their children and grandchildren. Because of the society they were brought up in, my grandparents were taught not to interfere with their government. But, because of their dedication to their families, they made sacrifices that have enabled their children and grandchildren to grow up in a country that encourages activism. And there I now stood, thinking back to the two children, understanding that hope and participation in government cannot be magically instilled with balloons and confetti, but rather, are cultivated in families throughout generations.

Into, Through, and Beyond Essay Approach

Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond approach.

It is not just the story that counts.

It’s the choice of qualities a student wants the college to know about herself

Into,Through, and Beyond

Into

It’s the way the reader can lead the reader into the piece—images, examples, context. Always uses active language: power verbs, crisp adjectives, specific nouns.

Through

What happened…quickly…yet clearly with weaving of story and personal analysis Specific focus on the student Great summarizing, details, and images at same time

Beyond

Ending that evokes key characteristics Conveys moral Answers ending prompts of two UC essays

UC 1”and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.” UC 2 “What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it

relate to the person you are”

Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and incorporate power verbs. Show when possible; tell when summarizing.

Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside readers read your essays. Make sure you have no spelling or grammatical errors.

Take the Time With These Essays

Free Write

Thinking of how Daniel started his essay. Think of a way to begin one with one of your activities or accomplishments.

Final Thoughts

Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive throughout this process. Write about yourself as passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your life and accomplishments. Sell yourself!!!

Students often need weeks not days to write effective essays. You need to push beyond stereotypes.

Admissions officers can smell “enhanced” essays.

You can find many great websites and examples but each student is different.

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