2014 Kevin Lonsdale Ageism: Pitfalls & Challenges confrtoning Elder mediators

Ageism: Pitfalls & challenges confronting Elder mediators

Kevin Lonsdale

Elder mediation is based on a wellness and empowerment model -

• any decisions arising from the mediation are made by the participants themselves,

• with the active support of the Mediator in exploring possible options and reality-testing all decisions. (Mediators

Institute of Ireland).

Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

What is Ageism? • It is a process of systemic stereotyping

of and discrimination against people because they are old (Butler) [Palmore & Nelson have similar definitions]. (ABS data Old is a person 45 - 65+).

• It is learnt early in life; • It is reinforced during our life time; • It can restrict an elder mediator’s ability

to explore possible options and reality-test all decisions with the participants.

• It can be overcome by elder mediators not being bound to their current thinking. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

I want to tell you a fictitious story, with some facts intertwined, that I hope will emphasise the challenges for elder mediators where the media and others subtly infiltrate our thinking. Interspersed between the different scenarios I have suggested some ageist thinking that could be had by the elder mediator. These scenarios and ageist thinking have been shared with me by a number of people and portrayed in the media. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Location: Canberra Parents: Fred (67), Jane (65). Children: Matthew, Sam and Helen Dog: Dog Elder Mediator: Tony Also present: Madeline (Local Care Agency) Reason for mediation: Children concerned about long term welfare of their mother and father.

Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 201

Jane & Fred want to stay in their own home. Both say, ‘the only way we are leaving here is in a box’. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

• Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

“Wow the lawns and roses look spectacular. How long can they keep looking after the garden” thinks Tony. Ageist Thinking: They’ll have to sell. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Tony sees a new car in the garage. Tony thinks, it must be one of the children’s cars. I noticed an advertisement for one of those the other day and there were only young people in the advertisement. Ageist Thinking: Advertising has you believing that these cars can only be purchased by young people. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Inside the house. Tony sees that Fred has recently had a birthday. There is one of those cards that says that “he is over the hill”. Tony mentions the card to Fred, Fred tells Tony that he hates being stereotyped, “after all I am still sky diving”. Ageist Thinking: he must be joking, how could he be sky diving at his age. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Helen says, “Mum, you look great in that dress. Where did you get it?” Jane says, “Well, I now avoid the local shopping mall. They started advertising women’s fashion for ages between 20–30, 30-40, 40-50, and seniors. I was appalled, the seniors dresses, were sack like and unflattering.

Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Jane continues, “I do not want to be invisible and desexualised I will make my own choices. I’m not having the advertising people tell me what to wear. I now shop where retailers acknowledge my existence & taste.” Ageist Thinking: Jane should not dress younger than her age. Jane is now an older consumer and older women wear dresses that lack style and are purely functional. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Matt says, "Mum and Dad, we think you should downsize to a smaller house,”. “Everybody else of your age is doing it, the government is providing incentives. Why not go with the flow?

Jane says, “We are staying put. We are not the only ones wanting to stay in our own home”.

Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Ageist Thinking: They really do need to downsize. They are getting older. It will be harder to move the later they leave it.

“Research published this year by the National Seniors Productive Ageing Centre states the exact opposite to what you are saying, do you want me to get my tablet and show you?” Ageist Thinking: How would they know where to look on the web? Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

“You have a tablet” says Helen condescendingly! “Oh yes says Jane”. I train people, my age and older, in how to access Facebook so that they can see photos of their grandchildren or read news in their native tongue. Ageist Thinking: Tablets and new technology are only for young people. Older people don’t adapt to new technology. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Fred says “we do not want to move, this is where our friends, social and medical network are. This is a quiet street, we have this solar orientated house. We would have no room for you and the grand children to come and stay if we downsize. The coffee shop is only a short walk away. Sometimes we take the dog with us. “Don’t you know that research shows it is important for our health to have these social networks”? says Fred. Copyright:

Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Sam asks, “But Dad what about the lawns and the edges. There is so much. How are you going to trim the edges or prune the roses if you get arthritis in your knees or hands?”. Fred says, “We have the option of paying somebody to do the gardening or I’ll improvise, check this photo out, I can make this at my Men’s Shed”. AGEIST THINKING: Be realistic, the garden will become over grown, the lawns will be unmanageable. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Helen says, “Mum and Dad we regularly see and hear the news on Twitter & Facebook that tell us that older people are being mugged. We are concerned if you stay here that this will happen to you. I don’t expect you to know about social media or what information we can get from it.” Ageist Thinking: Older people don’t have a clue about social networks. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

“Well you kids might know about social media BUT I have used my tablet and searched the web to find out the facts. QLD DEPT. of COMMUNITIES has researched this issue. They found that both Australian & International studies show that older people are less likely to have crime committed against them on a percentage basis than other sections of the population” says Jane. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 201

“Dad we know that older people are having more accidents. We see the news every day that an older person has had a crash. They smash into another vehicle, house, shop front or car park wall says Matt. Ageist Thinking: Yes older people have more accidents. There is NO WAY to prevent them happening. They shouldn’t drive. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

“We have ordered one of those vehicles that will automatically apply the brakes if you are going to collide with another car or a wall. It’s called smart brake support (SBS)” says Jane. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

There is a list of 40 cars available in Australia with standard or optional SBS. I have googled the list on my IPad. Would you like me to send you the URL?” says Fred. Fred says to himself, ‘these young people they think we can’t do anything for ourselves, we are past being able to think for ourselves and make our own decisions”. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

As Fred and Jane want to stay in their house, Madeline from one of the local care agencies has been invited to attend this mediation. Madeline’s organisation provides help under the Federal Government’s Home and Community Care (HACC) and other support schemes for older people. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

“Madeline, Can you provide dog walking if we need it?” asks Jane. “No” says Madeline. “But we provide help to a lot of older people who want to stay in their homes. We manage a program that does everything for older people so that they do not have to worry about anything. “We know what you need. We will provide meals and home help but no dog walking” says Madeline. Ageist Thinking: The professional carers know what Jane & Fred need and that does not include dogs. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

BUT pets contribute to an owner’s good health, lower blood pressure & lower their pulse rates”, says Jane. Copyright: Kevin Lonsdale 2014

Conclusion Pitfalls A few of the same stories heard does not make them true. Challenges Is your current thinking and knowledge past its used by date?

References Car advertisement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SClj0y92tUY; Adults Media Use and Attitudes Report 2014. Ofcom 29/04/2014 Discourse of successful aging in The Globe & Mail: Insights from critical gerontology. Oh, Grow Up! Four Ways to Fight Ageism, http://blog.aarp.org/2014/07/01/oh-grow-up-four-ways-to-fight-ageism/ Ageism and Home and Community Care (HACC), What Impact does it have? O’Connell H, www.clinicalsenate.health.wa.gov.au/.../doc/Mar09_HOConnell.pdf

Archinal M, Animal Wisdom, Pan Macmillan, 2013 Adair T, Williams R, Menyen T, Downsizing decisions of senior Australians: What are the motivating and discouraging factors?. National Seniors Productive Ageing Centre. 2014. Butler R, ‘Dispelling Ageism: The Cross-Cutting Intervention.’ The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science. 1989 Edger P, ‘In Praise of Aging’ Text Publishing Company Melbourne 2013 Lewis D, Medvedev K, Seponski D. ‘Awakening to the desires of older women: Deconstructing ageism within fashion magazines’ , Journal of Aging Studies 25 (2011) 101-109

Nelson D, Ageism: Prejudice Against Our Feared Future Self’, Journal of Social Issues’, Vol 61, No 2 2005, pp 207 – 221). Palmore E, Ageism: Negative and Positive, Springer Publishing Co Inc. 30 April 1999.