A ne w A ppr o a ch t o Poli t ics a s us u a l... 2012, an election year, brought out the best and the worst of the Gough family. It may come as no surprise to you but the Gough genetic profile contains DNA that can cause strong political opinions. This year, those opinions could not be contained to dinner table pontificating or snarky Facebook posts. The Goughs were hitting the campaign trail. As the year began, everyone was busy building their sup port base. Matt used his public position as an associate pastor to garner support. Teaching youth & young adults in addition to some extra preaching time due to a colleague on maternity leave, gave him a leg up and he led the polls among mainline suburban church goers and, inexplicably, dog- loving octogenarians. Christine soon surged ahead in the polls, however, when she positioned herself as a 4th grade job share teacher in a local Sunnyvale Public School. With the support of the teacher union, all other unions fell in line, save the Clergy Robe Seamstress Union (who endorsed Matt) and the Lego Engineers Union (who endorsed Alex). Their campaigns weren’t without scandal. The broken school laptop debacle tarnished Christi ne’s image and hurt her standing with the technocrats. Meanwhile, Matt’s cell phone rang while he was praying in church and he lost the piety vote. Alex jockeyed for support among the 4 year old vote and the grand parent base. While sometimes overbearing in his approach, many responded well to his “take charge”, uncompromising leadership style. Drew quietly observed the race and simply ran on the pledge, “Choo Choos for Everybody.” As Spring warmed the air, the campaign started to heat up. Mother’s Day and a birthday celebration gave Christine a short boost with moms and florists, but it was quickly overshadowed by a festive camping themed 5th birthday party. Alex showed a ruggedness and simplicity that scor ed well among America’s tent dwellers and park rangers. Matt strategically used the love of camping to try and distract Alex from the race by showing him Star Wars IV for the first time on an outdoor movie screen. Alex fell asleep in the tent within the first 10 minutes and Matt feared all was lost. Luckily, the seed had been planted and the next morning Alex left his tent and fell quickly into an unstoppable Star Wars addiction. Strangely, this obsession only endeared him to the Gen X and younger vote. Needing a boost in the polls, Matt showed his foreign affairs abilities by co-leading a group of 40 high school students to Mexico where they built three houses. Unfortunately, when pictures of Matt surfaced that showed him hoarding freshly-made Amor Ministries camp churros in his one man tent, he lost any lead he may have gained. The campaign was becoming contentious. Despite these setbacks, the fa mily committed to share campaign transportation as they traveled south along the Central California Coast. Beaches, missions, and culinary delights filled the tour as the Gough family were neck-in-neck to win the Gough family endorsement. While traveling, they were surprised by a visit from the party patriarch, Kerry Gough, AKA Machopop. He took Drew and Alex on a short tr ain and zoo tour and it was clear t hat some political maneuvering was afoot. It was then announced that a Gough