1985-86_v08,n23_Imprint

Dimprint, Dec. 6, 1985 (Warning: Not to be taken

U W 9 S Robber finds

more ways to cash in by Geopol’ , \

“Waterloo’s funding problems are over!” cried an elated Jake Robber, U W Chief Economist, at last Monday’s press conference. “And not at the expense of students!”

According to Robber, the University of Waterloo has just con- cluded a series of lucrative deals with a number of the country’s largest commercial corporations allowing them to conduct widespread advertising on campus. In addition, Robber said, certain commercial ventures will be allowed to locate on campus.

These deals come at the end of months of intensive bargaining with such firms as WacDonalds, Bhoots, and IBM, conducted in private and without student participation in the administration’s Needless Hall offices, Dimprint has learned. /

“The university is going to make a fortune on these deals,” Robber explained. “With every billboard located on campus, and every hamburger or six-pack of condoms sold on campus, the university will receive an annual percentage of the revenue.”

“In the 1986-87 fiscal year alone,” Robber continued, “We expect to net over $50 million from this venture. This additional funding will be put towards constructing new computing and. research facilities here on campus. Any money left over will *be used to upgrade our existing computer facilities and ‘to improve student accessibility.” I

The plan, outlined in a 164-page docum-ent that Robber passed out at the press conference, is to totally bypass all provincial 1

.government rules and regulations and allow 23 major Canadian retailing firms to erect advertising billboards, posters, and booths at 729 different locations on campus. As well, WacDonald’s and Bhoots will both be allowed to open retailing outlets on campus property leased from the university.

When Grogg S.O.B. Ara, provincial minister, in charge of post- secondary education, was asked to comment on Waterloo’s plans, he said that he “was studying the issue very closely” but would not commit himself one way or the other.

“1 will not make a decision until the provincial government-university liaison committee has handed down its recommendations,” S.O.B. Ara said. “But I think it’s a good idea: it’ll allow more foreign students to attend Waterloo at subsidized rates.”

“Besides,” Mr. S.O.B. Ara continued, “with condoms available directly on campus, less guys will be getting themselves in trouble.” S.O.B.’ Ara would not elaborate on this point, however.

According to Wilfraud (Sunny) Flubagain, UW Federation of Students President, Robber’s plans will create a “dangerous prece- dent” for Ontario universities.

“By allowing the administration to unilaterally increase the university’s funding now, the province is relinquishing all control over the future of student fee hikes,” Flubagain declared somewhat arbitrarily.

“We’re going to fight this thing to the end,” Flubagaincontinued, “or at least until the administration threatens us. The Federation is calling for a student boycott of all the participating companies for the Wmter Term, and next week we expect all Waterloo students to rally around Needless Hall to protest Robber’s plan.”

Both the U W engineering society and the U W math society have declared themselves opposed to the Federation’s position on the issue.

“1 think it would be great to buy condoms on campus,” declared Alfred E. MacGowand, Engsock President. “Besides which, with more funding, the engineering faculty will gain much more than the other faculties, and that’s only fair.”

According to Mathsock President Turn Harpingon, the math society is only opposed to the Federation’s position “because Eng- sock is against it.”

We’re easily persuaded by other people,” Harpingon continued. . “We don’t really have our own opinion.”

At last report, Robber had invited his pal Dickless White to join him on his lOO-foot yacht in the Bahamas f.or their three-week

any exceptions --$iil be ma-de, _ except \ in - excepti.otial \ circumstances as spelled .out iti subsection 16, . . . ” By Nick Ribald Dimprint staff

, /

adressed by the governors. “ I’m sick of having to show up two hours early just to get a’seat for my Psychology class,” said first-year Arts student Sammy Sucker. “It’s very difficult to take notes from the

, According to senior university officials, there is no overcrowding problem in U W classrooms.

The U W Board of Governors (BOG) heard complaints last week from student delegations that they did not think they could get an adquate education in classes of 900. The Governors, however, were bogged down and unimpressed. “When 1 was your age we slept 10 to a bed and we didn’t have universities,” said Board Chairman T.E. Moneybags.

On hearing this, another Governor, Professor Edgar J. Shnitzelhoser, retorted, “Beds? You had beds? Bloody luxury! When I was young, my family was so poor we had to sleep on dirt floors and used large rocks for pillows!”

“You had a family?” asked John Redundant, UW’s vice- president in charge of nothing in particular. “1 used to dream of having a family.”

The discussion continued along these lines until many of the assembled students demanded that the problem of overcrowding be

hallway.” - 1. M. Verbose, U W’s vice--president for obfuscation and general

muddiness, responded to student concerns on overcrowding. “We are currently examining various methods of rectifying the situation vis-a-vis space demands under the conditions set out in the university’s Procedures Analysis Document, particularly as spelled out in subsection 1, paragraph 4, item 3, where it is explicitly stated, quote, ‘under normal circumstances hardly any exceptions will be made except in exceptional circumstances as spelled out in subsection 16, paragraph 5, item 1.’ An ad-hoc, sine qua non, ad nauseum committee will be formed to form a subcommittee to examine allegations of alleged overcrowding of some stupid, and thoroughly unnecessary artsie courses on this campus. Of course, there will be fiscal expenditure required to undertake this tremendous humanitarian endeavour, ~for which we will bilk students accordingly, via a non-refundable committee formation fee . . . 1 hope the explanation clarifies things.”

Christmas holiday, and would not comment any further..

Dr. Telly Saliva (in the middle of a throng of students) addresses his Philosophy 101 seminar (The Aesthetics of Non--Existence). “No problem here,” says V-P 1.M. Verbose. >

. ._ / . . Dimprint, Friday December 6,1985 .

UW’S tube monster: “I got&b be me.*

Tube monster invades unsuspecting campus // by Glenn Rubinoff Dimprint staff

Panic struck Waterloo yes- terday as a giant tube monster began its reign of terror. ”

From - out of the sky, it pounced on a naive and unsuspecting U W student heading for the Arts Library. The student

’ attempted to escape but was swallowed up by the merciless tube of contempt.

Where did it come from? Rel- iable sourees’state that it is a product of ‘Village Food’. Ap- parently, some food services technicians were experimenting with’ new forms of KD (Kraft Dinner) through radioactive

treatment. Somehow. a nopdle fell into a +ddlb of Village gravy and a chemical reaction caked an explosion which threw a noodle outside into a hole. The noodle began to expand and grow until it became a twisted and ‘not so pretty’ monster.

The tube monster, who refers to himself as ‘Raphael,: was on hand after the incident to give this reporter an exclusive interview.

When asked why he did it, he replied “I felt like it. Usually I‘m just a shy introvert but I decided to come out of my shell and see the world and just be.”

As the crowd of onlookers

gathered to see what was going on, Raphael looked around and

.asked “Do you know what it‘s like to be a tube monster? 1 want people to like me but they don‘t want to make friends with me.”

Raphael’s futuie plans include enrolling as a Dance major and “bringing joy to the world.”

U W students standing nearby commented that they could sympathize with the monster and would make him feel at home.

U W’s new student promised. not to pounce on anymore students . . . this term.

Wright,‘s Inferno __ ‘. .\ The ancients speculated about numbers of heavens, and

most of us have heard the expression “seventh heaven”, or “cloud nine” which have survived the ages wheri our ances- tors,concerned themselves with different matters. d.

Those who venture to campus from the south are immediately met by South Campus Hell, a utilitarian, ordinary,

hnd in every wayundistinguished Hell of a place to eat or buy books.

And of Curse, there is Arts Lecture Hell for those who like At ihe University of Waterloo, of course, in the late 20th ) a liberal and well-rounted eternal torture.

century, we have more base and down to earth concerns. - For the adventurous descending on the campus from the Have you ever counted the number of Hells on campus? _ true north strong and free, Burt Matthews Hell stands mute Firstly, and most auspiciously, of course there is Needless Hell, &here students are tortured, term by term, in tripli-

guard. Some exotic torments are hidden with its its dark, cavernous walls. but no-one suite knows what. as well-

cate, quadruplicate and quintuplicate, and forced to part with their life savings before being allowed to leave. Most notoriously, but nearly insignificant in comparison, is Feder- ation Hell, (otherwise known as Ciub $7.50) which you pay for (at Needless Hell) so others can go and get drunk. There is, too, the Campus Centre’s Great- Hell. Now we all know _ that the name is somewhat pietentious. In bygone years, before the new& Hells had been researched and developed here at Waterloo, it was moderately great. Today it is simply a place of perpetual, even, unchanging light in which to study or write term papers at 3:00 a.m. and drink cheap gutrot coffee. But Hell, it’s free! Unlike the computers you have to pay a fee for now, there is no Great Hell fee . . . yet.

dressed businessllike types loci it up securely- every day at 5:OO p.m., and it is never open on weekends. It seems to be very much of a 9 - 5 Hell.

To the east, in the maritimes of UW, are the two deepest Hells of 911, Karl Pollack Hell and, the deepest, darkest, lowest of them all, Engineering Lecture Hell. New dimen- sions of meaning are given to the phrase “eternal torment” and “gnashing of teeth”. Biblical references to the “pit”as the

, , home of the damned were obviously much on the designers’ minds as this magnificent Hell was dug.

While those who finally graduate sometimes speak of being in seventh heaven, most of them had to go through the seven hells of U W first.

Headlines- I - wanted: call - Imprint cc 140 by Glenn Rubindff Dimprint staff

3. Highlighter Book Markup Fee

Dimprint has learned from confidential sources that computer fees are just the beginning of a long list of student fees. “These fees are essential to the maintenance of quality educa- fion,” said a top ranking university official.

The following is a list of possible ‘additional’ fees for next year which are seriously being considered. 1. Rain Insurance Fee 2. Non Study-time FeC

4. Puddle Maintenance Fee 5. Pencil Sharpener Fee 6. Examination Marking Fee 7. Ring Road User Fee 8. Black Board Washing Fee 9. Library Bag Check Fee 10. Win#y Day Fee 11. Bulletin ,Board Thumbtack Maintenance Fee 12. Classroom Seat Rental Fee 13. Dispensible Water Fee 14. Crosswalk Flashing Light Fee 15. Faculty Appreciation Fee b

i

Staitiiig Your Own . Business

x A rumcredit courie for UW students who want to examine the idea of independent business us d cmeedmn&ve. I StartsJanuary 16, 1986 Offf3ed by the Office of P art -T ime Studies, Cowesporuknce and continuing Education in cooperation with the Faculq of Engineering.

. Whether or not you have any business training, this course will provide you with an understanding of the world of independent business so you &n seriously consider a career as an entrepreneur. You will learn how to identify entre- preneurial characteristics in yourself and others and the functions required to establish and manage a pfofitable business.

Other topics will include: , 0 Understanding different types of companies l Identifying and evaluating sources of financing l Deciding on a franchise, an existing business, or a new venture

,

The principles discussed in the course can be applied to all types and sizes of busine&es.

The course will be in a lecture format, complemented by notes, discussion, and an outstanding film series. The course instructor scripted the films and narrates and appears in each of them.

The course will meet for eight Thursday euenings from 7 - IO p.m., starting January 16 and ending ,March 6.

Course instructor: Robert Grasley, president of Kempdale Consultants Ltd., a member of board of directors of the Canadian Industrial innovation CentrejWaterloo, and an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Engineering. Course f& $80’ for students registered for full-time study in the 1986 Winter Term. _

Note: This course is not for degree credit.

To register Complete the form below, attaching a cheque foi $80 payable to the University of Waterloo, and send it to the address shown on the form. (No post-date cheques please.) Students withdrawing after January 13 will be subject to a $15 handling charge; no refunds will be issued for withdrawals received after January 16. Registration is limited and will be handled on a first-come, first-served basis. Register early! This course was uxn&ztely filled the last time it was offered.

I Registration Form: Full-time UW Students I

I I 1 Starting Your Own Business

I January - March 1986

I ? i

I

r

I I Name

I I UW I.D. Number I I I Faculty

I I I,

Address effective 6 Januav, 1986 ,

I I I I I

Postal Code ’

I

I I . I

Cl My cheque for the $80 registration fee is attached.

I Please mail my receipt and further details to the

I address above.

I . I Mail to: Office of Part-Time Studies,

I Correspondence & Continuing Education,

I

University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario,

I N2L 3Gl

I I J

I I I I I I I I I I I I I .

For further information call the Office of Part-Time Studies, Correspondence and Continuing Education, L -11mmm--.~-----~~II-II~. I’ .__ (519) 888-4002.

/ i

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I 1

by P.H. Red

As the term draws to a close, students are engaged in three . basic activities: writing.essays, studying for exams, and curs- ing professors. After all, professors are the%nes who-assign papers, make up -exams, and kdetermine students’ final

- grades. Profs defend themselves by saying that assignments are designed to teach us something, and that exams are held to make sure that we have actually learned something. Des- ~ pite these defences, however, I am convinced that their hidden, inner motives are to torture students.

Take, for example, the simple process of writing a term. paper or essay. Sure, you’re warned at the beginning of the term that you’ll have to write a paper before theterm is over, but how can you even start thinking of,choosing a topic if you still have~no idea what the curse is-all about. Some profs offer topic suggestions, but on!y with$the intention of further confusing’ students. Deadlines Zoom before -you and in a moment of inspiration‘in the middle of a sleepless night, you find some ridicuious topic remotely related to your course.

Now -that you’ve found your topic, you research it. You spend hours in front of the library’s card catalogue merely to I find virtually nothing on your t epic. If by chance you happen

_ to-come across a usefuldbook or two, just as you’re-getting to valuable materiat, you find that ten pages&are torn out. No doubt you will think that some other student has used them, but I strongly suspect that profs spend most of their time trymg to ,figure out topics students might write about and then destroy any material these students might use.

If you. overcome these basic obstacles, you can actually sit ’ ,down to write the paper. This activity generally takes place either on the day the paper is due or on the following day. One word of advice: do not attempt to use a comp.utei; last time 1 tried, the computer died (Pm still convinced that the machine knew that .I was a first-time user and self-destructed ’ on purpose, eating up half my essay in the process.) If you get .

o’clock ‘deadline: you’ve still got al”1 ,your :exams .to face. -’ . Exams, if anything, are even worse thanessays; for they’

cannot be written in the comfortable confines of your room.’ t You are herded into a room with othersweaty and trembling students, and$ youlwait to be handed your sentence. Profes- ’ sors have spent years observing &udents;and they know

\ exactly what material students are least likely to studyf-then, they base the entire exatn ‘Q-II that’obscure point. Piofs are well aware of the trauma that this creates for students:’

. Even before you step into the exam roo’m,‘;you khow,that despite your hours of studying, something wih go wrong: Just as you find a question thatyou think. y$u can actually answer, every pen you-own runs out &ink. pou manage to borrow or steal another pen, but as you glance at the time, you realize that you’ve just wasted half,your time. You start< I. I writing frantically .and the sweat pours down you. The pen keeps slipping in your .hand as’ drops of’perspiration drip down your palms and onto the e’xam paper. just as youbegin . to relax, feeling that maybe you’hget through this exam atter all, you run out of time. .

Worse than any of this are the oral exams so popular in language courses. For days. beforehand, you spend -every waking and sleeping moment trying ta force yourself to,think . in some bizarre foreign ltiguage (like French or Russian). All the while<‘you know that there is absoltrtely no way for you to prepare yourself, for the professor is bound to ask you

I to talk about things in no way related to the term’s material. You sit there, and you are literally put on the spot; you cannot come back to a question later+ you cannot think

c,about ways to get around the question, you just have to come ._ _ :_

insane asylums. .But before we denounce profs completely, ‘let’sgive credit where it’s due: in terms of devising efficient methods of torture, professors are far ahead of the,Nazis: . . up wrth the right word then and there. \ *

And then people wonder- why so many students go around ’ 1 I ‘I . cursi-ng professors. The fact is, that once the term is over, those few students who have survived go on a four month work term to recuperate. The rest are shipped off to

by Crass Woodscum . j Dimprint staff

Singing -star Frank Sinatra has given birth to se>tuplets in what one physician terms, “a

medical,. rnjraple’:.., They /were delivered -five hours after Slna- tra, w,ent into labour, .by *his personal physician; Dr, Vincente

_ ,Petracini, by Sicilian. section. Sinatra had nothing but praise for Dr. ’ Petracini; ~ and later showed his gratitude by kissing

.his stethoscope.

Dr.. Petracini said that the pregnancy was one of the most unusual he has ever dealt with. “It isvery uncommon for a man of; Sinatra’s age to have .a success;g ful pregnancy and thiswas onl$ complicated by the-fact that he+

-had been taking fertility drugs - which resulted in the multiplic- ity of the babies conceived.”

. When asked by reporters about whether there was’ any

danger early in the pregnancy because of the stress on Sinatra caused by the allegations in the, comic strip, Doonesbury, about Sinatra’s supposed Mafia con- nections, Sinatra became vis- ibly“irate and ‘shot back te;sely; bb\To;l ‘ihiI;k 1 ‘ r e a l ‘ ~ y c~‘ie- what that disrespectful. bastard has to, say about me? It’s all just a dirty pack of lies. Now get the heil out of my way before somebody breaks your. kneecaps.”

The septuplets, ranging in

-weight from three lbs:, four ozs. to five Ibs., seven ozs., are all. reportedly ‘doing well. Sinatra commented that the babies wi,ll be. named after relatives and “business associates” with the exception df’the.Qrst-born son

*. “iblib;$i$ i+iiJ q&lg$ Carmine :

prlGiS0~ after Sc&&(’ Gia: no&, ‘Sinatra’s‘ “fin’ancial con- sultant”. Mr. Gianotti was also named as the child’s godfather in order to “honour some obli-

.gation$. . ’

- Some of Sinatra’s friends .come to the ,h&pital to help him celebrate. ’ Photo by Jimmy the ,Weasel

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/ /NE,wS _ L ,’ 1;’ ,. -;‘I ‘-, >a Dimprini, Friday December 6,198s

-Women ,to be seen and not head .

by &ho Else? and Guess Who? /

Dimprint staff ’ 1%

The writers of Enginews (seen here) on their way to Wa- terloo County, Court House to defend the tabloid, which is CUT; rently undergoing a civil suit brought about by the U W Radi- cal Feminist Bitches Society.

“1 don’t understand why the chicks on this campus are re- sorting to this,” said Alvin McGoon, representative of En- ginews and defender of the cause. “They’ all must be ART-

SlES. They’ certainly do not know how many logarithms there are on a slide rule. 1 still Stan4 by the old engineering adage that ‘women at UW should be seen and not heard’, and I know. that I have‘the un- dying _support of the UW administration. Mr -McGoon ’ maintained that there will always be an Enginews as long as there were women to exploit.

Dimprint attempted to contact Dr. Right, UW President, (who is paying for the Enginews lawyer), but he was- busy at a

Springsteh in’ paternity suit by Mik~O’Driscoll - , perfect example of the responsibilites that can be heaped upon

‘Bruce Springsteen - singer, songwriter, and as of late, husband- young innqcent ostriches. Cindy’s not doing this for her‘self, it’s for has b.een named in a paternity suit that has brought the eyes of the the fledglings. Sand and edible refuse don’t come cheap you know.” music world to bear upon him; After.being contacted.*bv the moth- When questioned about Cindy’s true origins, hei- lawyer merely er’s lawyers, Springsteen is said to have been severely distraught. The offered “No-comment,” and looked guiltily up at the sky. And w,hy a suit, naming the rock star as father of’Ralph and Dweeble,Black- two-hetided baby ? “Must have been something in his genes. It

,feather, may invdlve up to $l,OOO,dQO in support payments. certainly had nothing to do with her.” Cindy Blackfeather, the mother, was not atiailable for comment Results from a query made by this reporter indicate that the baby

btit: her lawver did release this statement: “Cindy is yet another is in fine feather and is reported to be honking for up to four hours u

victim of ,flagrant promiscuity _ -

of these musician types. This is 3

To the edit06 *

If God had wanted men to think, he would have given them brains. So tliere. J. Schredder Dept. of Simple Engineering P.S.- your mother wears army boots. .’

To the editor: ’ Piss me’off. Here 1 was, enjoying a nice greaseburger at the Food

Services outlet, when all of a sudden 1 sink my teeth into a toolbox. NOW, 1 can under%nd a pair of long-nosed pliers or even a Phillips screwdriver; but 1 was personally insulted that I had been subjected to the degrading experience of consuming more tools than my ’ father has itilhis shop, inc!ud@

1’11 &at my- 0% eyebills .be P a COmplete se!-@ sqeket wrenches.,

dre”‘l ‘p&son myse##.%Vit.h?the Qffals pawned off 36 “foo&’ at :thaF greqty-pqop-scoo_p. ‘:+: II, _, Signed, _ - .~

I .

Max (grossed out to the) 1

at a time. . A source close to Bruce was quoted as saying “Well, Bruce is just

that kind of a guy. You know, six beers and any bird looks like a chick. Besides, you can’t blame Cindy, just listening to Bruce sing is like aural sex.”

Bruce’s wife was not available for questioning and is said to have he; head stuck in the sand somewhere. However, we did talk to Bruce.

Cindy claims that she met Bruce in a hotel bar in Kenya. A meaningful, trusting relationship developed but ended in the morn- ing when Bruce caught g plane -back 1.0 the U.S.A. Bruce’s reply to this: “Look, I’ve never been to Kenya, and 1 never met any ostriches when l.was there. Besides, you can:\1 even fit one of those in the back seat of a ‘59 Caddy.’ ” \

In response ‘to questioning regarding his alien associations Bruce _I said;; ,?t;Jhat’s- -g&-bage,$ waF-tboJ? ,,in the v,.!$&? _ 1 got !; !pcial

,security card and ey&-ything.” 1. :

‘. “’ .Resuits from’the blotid test are sr~ll-.~en‘iiin~~*but:fornow de’11 just say that ostriches are born to run.

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K-W Oktoberfest Beauty Page- ant board meeting. His se&e- tary did tell Dimprint that Dr. Right had all the bound vo: lumes of Enginews from the last _ 25 years in his office and that he was certainly well-read on -the Enginews issue.

The UW Dean of Women was asked to comment on the recent civil suit; but since UW has no Dean of Women or no women deahs for that matter, it - made this writer’s investigative journalism that much more difficult.

case -Women’s Commissioner,

Katy Stuart maintained that she didn’t agrei: with censor- ship, but she did believe that “the writers of Enginews should be shot and pissed-on!” She said she was not surprised that ,En- ginews plagarized Gloria Stei- num’s article, because that group is know’n for its lack of originality and lack of regard for anyone or anyt’hing except their own discipline.

Dimprint will keep ‘abreast’ of the outcome of this legal \ac- lion.

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NEWS -, - I- s 5 , Dimprint, Friday December 6, 1985 -

Engineering through by Frank van Biesen

For years now a question has been asked around campus by students in all faculties (including engineeing): “What is engineering, and where did it come from? (and how do we get rid of it?).” Throughout our history courses, we hear of the engineering greats: Henry Ford, designer of the automobile; Dr. Ferdinand Porsche, designer of the working automobile; James Watt, designer of the steam kettle (or was that engine?); Thomas Crapper, designer of the toilet; and Jackson K. Sewer, designer of the system which uses Crapper’s invention along with some ingeniously connected pipes to turn the Humber River (and the rest of Lake Ontario) into the swimmer’s paradise it is today.

These people were not, of course, the inventors of the concept of engineering. This appeared long ago in forms which the history books neglect to mention. For example, you can often hear people saying “Civil engineering is archaic.” This is referrring to the fact that civil engineers existed in the stone age. Little-known facts such as these make up the actual history of engineering which is summar- ized here to enlighten those who find themselves repeatedly asking the above-mentioned question. Civil: Long, long ago (back around the time Thor and the rest of the B.C gang were roaming the Earth), man developed the technology to build such things as caves, pyramids, etc. Available materials were limited: pebbles, stones, rocks and boulders. After a few initial construction attempts, it became evident that merely slapping to- gether a few rocks to make an enclosure tended to have disastrous effects on those who dared to step inside. it was decided that certain experts were necessary who would be able to determine the safety of the structure without it having to collapse. Naturally, these experts did not exist and, ‘after many years of trial and error, was born the civil engineer.

Now this civil engineer was an intelligent fellow. You see, he really did not know whether the structure was safe anymore than anyone else did. But he had seen so mny collapse, that he had an idea of when the stones used were too small or improperly placed. 1 his, ot course, was a guessing game, and if anyone had known that

at the time, the civvie would have been sacrificed to thedinosaurs. So he developed a decoy. Whenever he was asked to judge a structure’s safety, he would stretch out his arm, hold up his thumb, sight along it, and say something like: “Kaboo. Zefak tir mo dera- lem.” Translation: “Yup, Looks OK to me.” This had people baffled for centuries, and they give him the nickname “Magic Thumbs.”

Nowadays we are far too smart for any of this. But the civils are still one step ahead in their capicity to justify their existence. They now have what is called a transit & level, an expensive set of words describing an optical thumb. They look through these devices, and make possibly life-threateningdecsions based on what they see. Not bad for binoculars on a tripod. Mechanical: The mechanical engineers got started somewhat later than the civils, and as a result they had the opportunity to adapt some of the progress made by the civils to their work. This amounted to absolutely nothing, and this the mechanicals may just as well have been the first ones around.

Their first major.accomplishment was the design of the square wheel. They promptly discovered its limited range of use but through some strategic planning, managed to sell all they had to

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the civil engineers (They sold them as building blocks). The process of re-inventing the wheel then began; first came a hexagonal design, and, after a number of iterations, the round wheel was born. Although this was to revolutionize the transportation industry hundreds of thousands of years later, it put the mechies out of business at the time since the civils would no longer buy the wheels.

As a result ofI this unfortunate occurrance,the mechanicals sufi fered a relapse of nonexistence which they have yet to pop out of (i.e. the wheel design has not been improved since that time). There was, at one time, a rumour that a mechanical engineer designed the internal combustion engine, but it has since been proven that it was actually invented by a garbage man who got tired of the wheelbar- row method. Chemical: The chemical engineers have the distinction of being the first to discover fire. The development stages of this discovery included trying to fry everything in sight, making the chemmies an unpopular group at the time. Over the years they made many important discoveries, such as how to control rampant tree growth by way of incinerating entire forests.

After being persuaded by the mechies and’civvies not to turn the Earth into a flaming supernova, the chemmies finally arrived at the antidote to fire: water H-TWO-O, they called it, since it was made by carefully combining two atoms of Hydrogen and one of Oxygen. Billions and billions of them had to be combined in this way in order to produce any visible amount. A rather dubious procedure, considering the stuff can be obtained in substantial quantities from your kitchen tap. Electrid: This flavour of engineering has not really jumped into the limelight until recently. This is because they have spent most of their time chasing something no human has ever seen: the electron. The usefulness of these tiny items is quite extensive: they can light your lightbulb, heat your home, power your lawnmover, and even crunch your equations (the latter is rumoured to be costly).

These seemingly insignificant particles have been used in discov- ering the tube transistor (which led to television). Now, however, the same tube has been miniaturized to a point where no human can see it (a classic example of the “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em syndrome). Thse micro-sized transistors now make UP the guts of the computer. M\odern breakthroughs in electrical engineering are virtually all computer-related and thus hardly worth mentioning. Systems Design: The latest edition of engineers. This discipline is based on the theory that no system is purely mechanical, or civil, etc., and thus an engineer with a background in all these areas is required. A person such as this is known as a generalist, a fence-sit- ter, or just plain confused. Basically their studies involve learning

the i : ages

less and less about more and more until they know absolutely nothing about everything. This makes them very versatile, however, and they can approach virtually any problem with the comfort of having seen it before, as well as the enigma of not having a clue as to its solution.

As for discoveries by engineers in this field, this is very difficult to say. You see, behind every seemingly succesful systems designer is a mechie, an electrical, a civvie, and a chemmie telling him/ her what is actually going on. Their individual contributions have been rather limited.

Now this entire profile has the hauntingly familiar ring of a politician to it. These people would make excellent candidates for public office, giving the government the command of technical buzz-words it so sorely lacks.

There you have it, in a nutshell. So the next time someone comes up to you and asks you what engineering is and where it came from, just tell them this story. They are sure to go away satisfied, having been re-assured that engineering really means as little to them as they thought it did . . . .

’

Having sold his 12 year-old Sister into Slavery and mortgaged his grandmother’s dialysis machine to pay his computer fee this term, Tgm Packman (4A BS) gathers up his worldly be-longings and heads off to his workterm.

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by Marie Sedivy . ?being reassigned to Central Dimprint staff America. A few pages later in

each other on phones while they are. in the same office. Every-

the paper, some bouncing Czech thing is ge,nerally done back- ,

._ A serious epidemic has hit the wrote about the mastication ex- wards; before going down for a s Imprint staff. During the past ploits with pink-haired room- beer at the Bombshelter, staff /

\ few weeks, . several staff mates. members down a couple of cups members have-exhibited bizarre and irrational behaviour. No one can identify the disease, but it is believed that extreme work load, boredom, and Wednesday night proofreading are all con- tributing factors.

,- . The first indication , that

something was seriously amiss came in the November 15 issue of Imprint when Gord Durnin, normally a serious and respec- table news editor, reported on the general meeting of the Fed- eration of Students. No doubt suffering from severe boredom and a heavy work load, Durnin

’ felt‘compelled to embellish his news story by describing, drop - by drop, the,sweat he imagined pouring down the faces of the comatose participants. As Rick Nigol, Imprint% editor-in-chiec

_ has already noted,’ Durnin is /

The following week, things did not improve. Doug Thompson Imprint’s head typesetter, con- fessed to having shot his T.V. The paper also carried a story about a local politician who fixes stalled cars on Ring Road without knowing why.

of coffee. * The’ seriousness of the epi-

demic .was revealed in Nigol’s . comments. When - asked what he thought of theepidemic, the editor-in-chief replied “I’m all for it.” He went on to say that, in his job description, there is no mention of doing anything

Things went downhill from ’ there. cast week, Snuffy, Tom York’s dog, took over one of the columns in Imprint, leading some staff members to state that “the paper is going to the llogs.” .

Although these are the most visible symptoms, there are some “behind the scenes” signs of illness. Wednesday night hys- teria has resulte’d in one staffer doing cartwheels between ty- pewriters. Two other staffers succumb to pressure and call

to solve it. Evidently, he too, has become a victim of the illness.

Experts have been unable to - pinpoint the cause and nature pf the disease, but because it has spread so quickly am,ong Im- print staff, there is reason to believe that it is highly contagious. In order’ to protect the general student population, it was thought best to quarantine the Imprint office for a month. Therefore, Imprint will not be published until January 10, 1986.

,

EtevelZitionS iil. WC? by Christine Fischer n I ’ the ‘wide variety of topics co- - constitute at least half of a do&

<Dimprint staff vered. A female collegue visited torate. the women’s rooms, and came Further delving into the

One of the most spectacular up with the same conclusion. strange phenomena, thev nro- discoveries of the Gntury has They convened for . several I been uncoxered in the lavato- * weeks and decideb that there ries of the University of Water- ,- - - are indeed budding philo- 100. /

A visiting philosopher was astonished to find such, revelations on the walls of the ba- throoms campus-wide. So great was his interest that he spent an entire week visiting all the lava- ’

sophers whose theses can be sited on many bathroom walls. They also commended the discipline of these students, some of whose writings in any one particular place must have taken at

tories taking extensive notes. least 2 hours to complete, and He was furthe.r ,astonished by which would belong enough to

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posed a-reason for the bl&e- _ m e n-t of these divine

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This new discovery will prob- ably change the world as we know it. People will now be able to go to the sacred toilet oracles of Waterloo for divine sooth- sayings. Hopefully, the large volume of people, who will’undoubtedly be attracted, will not

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by Qdell- Washington ’ Ooh yeah: Ooh yeah: r Dimprint staff ’ l&q nded a holiday.”

I’m sure that a lot of you oGt: was what kh&was sayingi I

.‘%Ioliday. Qzlebrate. Holiday: Madonna \- thqT.$hink, that there is nd- subgaiice at ail to Madonna’s

was so moved, I neiir&ried. l::: felt really ‘close to her,,:‘as

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E yadoncq sings*ahdut a lot of deep, it wds almost like a tq,H- L- t&th ~>++in~faII things, ya+ _ b&k or some#ing - --“Z . . . . Y U . , . . .S‘ u1 ‘,

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“Afier aboul!%& Go.iisieti- ‘ing+I finailj uj@erstqqa the lyrics tb the&%&@jxandit 1 tiasJike;‘a r~aiiy‘ti~sticai’ti& ment,for r6e: Iffelt as thou@- Madonna && spl’ * -’ iectiy to me arid’ that ‘I ha<! ta I -

tell everyone - Jhe- imporgan++, -, stbff in this Song. - , 4. -: _

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- :’ T&ail’ $& petipie ‘who can’t . gee the tied&q in this song: I pity you, becaus$ it, /s really

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by Retep Noswal \ _ Dimprint staff

The tiord came out &at the review of the oboe/.piano coi-

* laboration a couple of wtieks qo was dull, bqri& _utiexcit- irig ..;ho-hum. Well let me stit the record straight. . I - The’ reveiw may .qot have

.&served a Pulitzer Prize but. ,.&at. was because. I failed to :report that the oboist and pi- hnist played iri*he-nude.‘Yes, the nud&!’ -‘-, We,, the .Dimprinters,” do

.%ot stoop to press sensation- - aiism; we do not haveZEn-

classical. concert. *as. p&r; . formed unclad would be ‘be- ..

geath us. , L +I vieaed ‘&e&i&s (in

: many wziys) irrelevent iLie-’ viewi&-the music presented. The observ&ion’s, that these

-women of cult&e Jbunced their breasts to the’ beat, or

* that the high sqciety audience found this ‘display m&e%-&-

1 orating than nude voile~bali, had not place in,:,a ,Dimprint classical conceq r&&w. ~

In closing, I Giish ‘$0 scold s * anyone who dares to critisize

an articleof cuituye, and will make no mentior) of the iude

. actsperformed tiith the oboe.

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- ’ . L < A - i ‘by Lois’ Corbett i c - Lof Canadian Urhverqity Press’

d. proac.h ~ o.f ‘*ihG, f*orxp;er 1 governmentiT. . *

. I - H&LIFA’X (CUP) -I’ Ontario’s

‘What happened &the new e,ra in federal-prbvincial e’j+zia-

David Peterson iied a pack of tions?’ he a-Sked. \ pfemiers at last week’s first-min- i . Gawky ~-4kd on Muhoney

isters conference in denouncing to *immediately suspend action ’ Ottaw@‘s!-plan to cut $6: biLlion -on any cuts to; federal -+pro-’

from feaer-1 transfer payments’ grammes affecting the provic _ to the provrces. q ces for thenext t&o years. ’

I . ,Peterson said. reductions to ’ -Johnson, in, Halifax only fot

.I the federa! gbvernment;s contri: the first day &the conference ; butibns’ to health and., posts+=

, condai-y .:education --‘$mding ’ because o&*nd@s pr@i$c~a~~ electi@‘n @Quebec, said’the cuts _

would “Cut’ right into. the 1 bone.“‘.,. _-- .- -

*‘are,,unaccepta.ble.‘2 . - - ‘, I Johnson.also’crrt~ .sed “uni-’ ’

I “They will cut right into:our I ability to provide faculties, li-

latera+ r-e-opening-oft he present

braries , . *and. . . state-of-t he-art fiscal arraiqernertts~ one year .

” equipment,.t$& is- needed s,o before-t her! expiry date.” -

.Pa@#y 3aid ,h;lulr&peyk ar- ‘: teaeh +nd tram the next genera-? _ ‘18 ‘Wument ~hat:.~~~p~ovfnces.h~~e

‘to: bear a’ f& share in order to ” tion of Capa#ia.ns,:” said. ‘Peter4 : SQP..’ * i.,. . _

Peterson joined ~Ma%oba . . iedqje ,;thtt. feder@ jaefic$‘.$ , . ” ~4~.‘l”“phoriy,:’ ,_ :. y : ,-%. I+

premier Howard Pawley and “The provinces all, face finan-

government‘% actions were _“in- distinguishable from the ap-

” \ /

Cotirse otitline must be’follbwqid~ . - 1. .

aisgrunrrea witn rne way a in IYUI-~4. r-i7 was expeueo governmg qyersull uu LFUL C A - racysneu. Y es; yqu can sue Ior a :I xuql,-r_ irimq IL s mat mg a ‘“WtyC%? agi~c~ wry me LWU raw- course is taug‘ht’can sue the in- from the progr$mme. t _ elude courts ’ from deciding breach/of ~a course o~.$l$e,? .he de$* ,&he said: “In the final yers that education malpraqice 2 % 1 stitution offering it, an Ontario court hai ruled. .

Provincial court. Judge Pam; ela Thompson Sigurdso$%on- h eluded recently t’hat., a

: 37-year-old former styd,ent at Ryerso’n Polytechnical’lnsiitute , here can sue the school because

\one .of its professors allegedly .- departed% from. the’programme, -:,:~ . Hughes.,uChicoiiie, a profes-

sional photographer.-in an up- grading .,programme, -failed - a .

said. .L.._\ -_‘- . I Hubsch&~~co~uidn”t speculate

analysis 1, dop’t think> -care. enough about;Qthe.,course

-. C hicoine ap’pealed using in- ternai ~uni~ers?ty ’ ‘procedures

breach ‘of contract; “The purpose of Ryerson In- ‘/

and w&s eventu’ally~~offered the chance to repeatthe’course.

stitute -is to provide pro- ’

Unsatisfied, ‘he took the-case grammes and course of study in

to small claims court to.recover a variety of areas;,-not to adjudi-

I ’ about $63O”in tuition. and some’

cate _ co-mplaints arising student/university

-from ’

‘ ’ relittions,” .

‘$800 in studentkdans. she said ,i-n her judgment. :, Ryerson chauenged. j the c?d;jrt~~~ju~~sdictio~~~i~ @#‘case:

Chicoine’s jawyer, Frank.~ J$ul&k!~~~ said th$:- &&iGin’ :

plth’ough~ &&rts:’ tra&ion- ! ~‘tcertainly opens up the.situa- ally stay out of,internal i&&r- &. tion” for stud&$hts’to*‘t’ike legal ,, I- sity disp,iieq - Judge Thomson

_* , ~T”Y< _ . . \ ., ’ , action against~their‘schools, L “r-l < I- /

, ’ --L.L ‘1 -- __ II -_: % :

on boy., widespread--the u$@act. outlinebeing ,adhered to.” of the judgment will be,. but-he I’- said his phones ‘:have< beenring--

1 -’ Young< s+d that having. gOhe through the university appeal

come,” he said -of Chicolne’s \ lawsuit. *.J

ing off the hook’from students who Want to, retarn,, my: seq+;-

process; Chic&e should not He said universrty.presidents. ’ -.” _

lav@uits but. ’ .aftirward she a.: ““l stitution hasn’t-kept its ,part -of _’ i _ .’

. .a Council of<Qntario Unfversr- A the.bar$in., :’ I %f , I; . ;

,’ j to’continue’totrike action againt the,tabloid-e)ien tothe,ex.tentof.a;.. ,f-iyil suit:- ._ _ - l ’ -j _ I_ . . ‘, ,, .C ,.

ptres, Cole: give The, topic of pornography .in-rock videoswas ais; iidd.qssed :

,’ - .m _.- Cole&id “Rock music has beeneffective. in reproducing p&-r&‘:~ I, ;:

Co-Op Ordeal: - . ‘.

I coukjri’t decide whether to title this Co-Op Sadness, or ColOp Madness. So I ended up with a corhprbmisc as unsatisfactory as the Co-Op program itself. It’s only three months since we said good-bye to our summer term co-op friends, and only a few weeks un?il we will be welcoming their return. For most UW students, a school year is almo‘st eight months, September to April, with a few juggling in a “spring” term (&lay-August) now and then. It’s mid-year now, time ,to tbke stock of the past three-nionths, make sdmle mid&urse’adju&tinents for the next f&r and wonder’ wh’iit t&d@ with the summer.

that occurs in a class, a.constanf group of people, under the I leadership of a single prof, is shattered just as it is -beginning to bear fruit.

@irt fdr CoiQp students, nb sooner h&s the school year Jegun than it’s over, Friends going hpme.for Christmas witi

not be Seen again, in most cases,for eight or 12 months. By then everything wili be different, hard to pick up where you left off. Resuming the friendship will almost require starting over, but then, realistically, you’ve\only got three months to do it in!

Educators oft&n talk of “educating the whole person” and of the importance of friendships between students, and the relationships between students and profs. Yet the Co-Op system almost seems. conSciously. designed to undermirie those ‘priceless assets to university education,

, for both Co-Op and regular students. Many graduates say they learned more outside--the classrooti than in.

Community of scholars? Most profs, even, laugh at the idea. At UW the concept is nearly meaningless outside a few od+ball corners of campus. y I The’merits of mixing work and study are well-k&&n. The

.advantag& of woik experience tb any student able to secure employment are blear.. What’s not clear is the advantage ‘of scheduling thi&as if life occurred in four montli chunks. What is‘clear. is that evervone would be , better off if the basic unit of time were eigh; or 12 months

* .,4 month term &tr~s&f.ul’s t i’nstead* c Waterloo,has a reputation for student apathy, and the r I Co-09 students take first place in the apathy competition,

/’ , % . I The reasons are obvious: it’% nearly impos.sible to- get

And it’s the Same on Gvork term. No sooner do you stait getting to know peo@l+han you’re whisked. away.”

Sure, studies and work-terms can be sliced up into th’ree or ‘rour month segments, as a minute can be divid& into 60 seconds. But life< can’t be sliced. up like that. Life doesn’t occur in mea&abie units of time, Iif&.oc&rs iti gestalts, (a Gerban word for which there is nd English equivalent) - meaning wholes, qr a -series of interconnected events, cause-effect relation?hips with a beginning, a- middle and an end G giv& and take.interactions, which almost alwgys take more than four moriths to work themselves out.

Stress studies show’ that the shock to the system of changing residence takes about six weeks, in, ideal circumstances,, tb abate. When. changes in primary .’ m

relationships and daily activities occur, ‘the adaptatiqn . ,

’ per&d is even longer. In other words, a- human-being who Even /the senior folks in Needles Hall recognize the changes his residence, and, .his daily routine, and his problem. UWIs Fourth De&de Planning Report comments primary relationships ev&y four,months, is psychologically on the importance of cultural and academic activit’ies other always off balance, always under excess stress. . than scheduled classes, and notes the negative effect. of

$Vhat happehs ..is psychological arid social isola!ion. .the co-op program on that. Btit what are they doing about $fiem&hips ) are bar-d or impossible to sustain virhen it? Nothing, of Course. Geographical dislocations occur So frequently and so ‘ ,Problems of student housing are also aggravated by the predictably. Getting involved with the people, places and . constant need to relocate, find new roommates, or get to evbnts of your environment is hard or impossible, when know and learn how to get along with new peapIe. ’ you know you’ie going to be leaving soon.‘Even for regular We have seen frpm the Senate and Boaid of Governors of students, the Co-Op program has adversely effected the this university a chronic and cpnsistant disregard of the

-- quality ‘of -student life. Year courses are almost human needs and values in education., We can’t expect non-existent. it takes about four months to begin to get to them to do anything about it .unless students take some know people in your, classes. And j&i %IS you begin, it’s responsibi!ity for our collective tife and demand a sane and over. Sure yqu may encounter some of thesame people in humarie approach to eduiation’frdm the administration. other classes, but the whole community building process Doug Thompsoti

, * . . , ,_( .,- < . I_. r x “- _ . . I”’ .’ ” _I -- <v- ,, ” I *. ~ S”.1” . -- ,.-, t ’ _-

if?volved .to change things when you’re either about to leave in a few weeks, or you just arrived and are still getting settled in. Such efforts take tin&, time-Co-Op studerits don’t have; they take commitment, commitments that the Co-Op program doesn3 give time needed 6 develop; and concern, coircern for: others as well as yourlself, concerns <which t‘he Co-Op program almtist prevents you froin. becoming Fware of, because you’re always off balance, or looking for a job, pr looking for a place to live, or sa$ng .- goodbye.

Administration unresponsivk ’

Imprint. is *e studeit newspaper at the University’ “‘of .’ Waterl’do? -It * .is an editorial@ iqdependerit newspap& published by Imprint Publications, -Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint ti a member of the Ontario Comn~‘Newsprapar Association (OCNA), and a member of Canadian UntversiQ Press (CUP). Imprint publishes every second Friday during the Spring term and every Friday during the regular terms. Mail should be addressed tg “Imprint, Campus Centre Room 140, University of JjG&erloo; Waterloo, Ontar&’

_ Imprint kerves the right to screen, edit, and refkse ++vertising. Imp3Wt: ISSN 0706738C . w

EditoM3aahiaf . , Rick Nigel

Assisfant EBitor Chri.~ Jinot -

DoaTait BxdxwsslKa~ger Janet Law@33

HeaaTypes&er ’ Doug Thompson

Aluh3sistant S-la Gunter brews E&&or Gord Durnin Arta EUitorl

- Chris Wodskou AkdstbtArtsEUitor ’ ’ Darlene Zimmerman Sports’ Editor Jo-&nne,Lon&y Photo l!Mtor

5 Richard CliZipn ’ t idh&tmt Photo EBitor Preet KhalBa oi!aeMaIumger ._ ’ Maureeti GoldbePg . . i .‘ (, -~ / z

, . , .-y ** -c Imgriaxt Conttiibuting Staff

Mary 8-5~ Aitken, Neasl Bonnor, 3.D. &nser, Eron Boyd, Harald Bransch, Adaxn Chamberlain, Paulina Chin, Donna, Chow, Derrick Chua, Brenda Croxnpton, Paul Done; Christine Fischer, Nicole Gnutzxnan, .X4@ Harris, Bru&e Head, M&rk Holden, Jack Kobayashi, P&r ,X,awqn+ W@ g Laq&ck Lefcourt, Ian Lipton, Michael Loh, DanIqons, Unda M&ord, M&e O’Driscoll, Grwme &eppler, Ghannon mll, Bwgen Fbdferm, Satindei, Sahota, kulr6iv fhikaili, Todd

r ‘Schneider; Peter &a$hopiiz&& Ad&n St&ens; Mike. Strathdee, Tony Sturnwi, Maxjka Ta~mm, Su Te@wco, Daq Trexxiblay, Mike Urlocker, Gem Watts, Sagah Wells, Simon Wheeler, Thomas Whiti, Michael Wolfe, Kevin ‘Wopd, TOEI. Yqk, Alan Yoshioka, John Zachariah, Glenn Rubinoff, J&f Nugget, Carol Davidson, Colin McGillicudQr, Andrew Dyk, Marie Sedivy, Denise Roeleveld, Ctidy Long;

. Steve Hayman, Pati Ha;~ms, Dave’ Hudgins, Cathy Somers. 1.

tn)pritit Alcomeq ~okntits and opinion &ecm froni oirr reader@. The FOruti page’ ‘is d f&Me 8n opportunity io. present views- on v8rioul issues. Opinions- expressed in letters, or! other articles .on this p8ge represent those of Wit. iiUth6rq 8nd not imprint. L$ters s

’ typed, double-sprced, and signed with name and teiephone number, -and Nbmitted t0 CC 6~00 p.m. Monday. Miaximum _ length , of letten: s2W 1 words. Anyone wishing _ to write :

-opinionated 8rticies _sbu!d contact the ed#or-i_nqhief. Aii is subject t? editing:,

.

-PAC staff tinfriendly ‘. .’ by Christine Fischer *. b - , r’

Last Saturday night I had a rather disconcerting experience when’ I went to the PAC to play squash: What I encountered was a hostile atmosphere, made up of a sar- castic staff and several jocks who believe that they know it .-all .

It was the first time I had playedsquash at the PAC, and ibeing a. first-year student, I still find the PAC a rather

I confusing place. When L found the tote room, I thought that if I asked.a few questions, I would soon-have ‘my

’ bearings. I askedthe staff member who was working the tote room that night where I couldrent-a racket. He replied in a snarky tone that the vending machine, was around the corner. Unfamiliar with this manner of renting a’racket, I went around the cotier,‘expecting to find a large vendin\g machine filled with rackets; Not finding this. 1 went back and asked him to clarify himself. He growled that the vending machine was AROUND THE COR-NER. I looked again and found a tiny machine which dispensed paper tickets good for the rental of a racket. ’ ’

When I went back to ask for change, he’said that I’d h.ave to go to the Campus Center to get it, but his tone conveyed extreme impatience. So, I went to get the change, came back, and got the ticket,.only to find out that I had to give the ticket to the same guy in the tote room in exchange for a racket. When I presented the ticket, he looked at me in a way that told-me I needed something else, and eventually he grunted that I’d need my student I.D. card to rent a racket. ,- . -..

Having gone through all this, I arrive’d at my*rksertied court and knocked on thedoor, only to be faced with a pair who informed me that I was too late to still have thecourt

-reserved. Naturally, not having played-here before, I was unaware of this rule , but by now, something like ‘this could not .deter me. By the time we got on the court, ‘my friend and I were able to play squash for a whole 15 minutes: . ..* I

Admittedly, I am not a professional squash player, nor do I profess tobe one, but I feel I have the same rights to, use the court as any other UW student. My friend and I go

j out and play squash for the fun and exercise. I got the distinct impression that both the staff -and several athletes in the PAC at the time felt that it is meant mainly for the,use of the talented athletes and that I had no business being there. The staff in-the tote room were not helpful, were unfriendly and gave me the bpression that I was wasting their precious time. One staff member in’particular made several snide comments to another staff member, loud enough to be intended-that I hear them, like”.,.some people don’t find this place ‘till December...” in a very rude manner.

I am not asking for special treatment; I onl,y question the .fact that all students should automatically know all the rules and jechnicalities about the PAC. It would have been nice if m-y friend, who attends Conestoga College, got the same good impression of the-U of W’s sport camplex as I got when we played at Conestoga. The sports staff there was friendly and helpful, in direct contrast to what we

‘encountered at the PAC Saturday night. My friend has no desire to play here again, and quite franklg, nor do’ I. I think we’ll play at Conestoga next time. J

L

.

fhdibility damaged , To the editor I 1 emissions just because Onta-

Like Chris Jinot, (Iinprint, rio Hydro produces 30%.of On? November 29) I am also op- tario’s SOZ. Unfortunately, posed to nuclear power for en- that deduction, damaged the vironmental’reasans. . credibility .of an otherwise However, he should not con- sound argument. elude that nuclear reactors Mike Thomas contribute to sulphur dioxide 4A S.D. Eng.

KAOS t6 go campus-wide next term. ” At UW this fall more than 4w KAOS agents from the Vi-

ways. Henry Casper and1 Dan

. .lfages;,using only a photograph’ Gyokery won ‘$75 each for elim-

of their assignment, &tempted mating the most agents. Each

to track him/her down while eliminated I1 people. -

Jit Bose won $SO for the most trying to remain anonymous. In original elimination. He was in this game, once’ a vi,ctim has downtown Toronto in the Ea- been symbolically shot with a--ton’s Center when he spotted soft rubber dait, he surrenders his assignment to his assasin.

his assignment.‘ After trailing his, victim for -three hours Jit

The object of the.,game was to boarded a-bus to Waterloo with be the last person left and win him and.sat beside him. Just as the grand prize of %3qO.O0. This term the winners were :.

they approached the city it was game over. ’

- Shawn MaIall$ won $300 for -Next term KAOS is going * being the last perS~n~t0 remain . &npus-wi;de and the Brand active. . .’ *_ prize wiI1‘ be ,a trip for two to - Second prize was. split two : Florida. -

To the editor: _ . ‘( Hall once a week but I had decided to wait until after Reflections Now I’m not a hard core fan of any period of music and can, in

fact stand anything from country to opera. However, I found in order to show that an evening of songs that date pre-1970 can provide a refreshing change in dance music. Unfortunatelv. this J

Reflections at Fed Hall, Saturday November 23 a great disap- ---- -----

pointment. opportunity didn’t-present itself. Whomever organized this ’

a I have p~edy enjoyed CHYM’imGolden (rldies weekends

event, in their prejudiced view; decided that an entire evening

when, for t*wo solid days, oldtime favourites are heard on the without at least one or t&o 1985 songs would be a disaster.

radio and was excited to hear they were presenting Reflections.’ Surely,people can’t dance to OLD MUSIC!! -

Arriving at Fed Hall, we discovered that the goldan oldies by . Well, I’d-like to prove that people can and do dance to it but the

such idols as Elvis, The Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Chubby - evidence I was waiting for wasn’t provided. My boyfriend and I

Checker and The Hollies were ignored in favour of Hackneyed had beenlooking forward ta Reflections, a chance to really dance our feet off, for almost a month. People who want new-music an

“radio music”. Again we were subjected to YOU Spin Me Round .j go to Fed Hall any Thursday or Friday night but there’s not a - and.Shout, Fed Hall’s faithful standby’s. I won’t deny that these - place where people can go to relive those days when love was all

_

are good dance songs, but PLEASE, let’s have a break,once in a while. ’ you needed. Reflections .could have provided that atmosphere if a ,~

i I had been considering suggesting an .“Oldi&Night” at Fed not invaded by 1985 songs. E. J. Husrst /

. ’ - :

one ‘loves’. Itis strangling, deadening, sufftiatlng, killing, not life-giving. What people call love is mostly a misuse of &t&word, in order to hide the reality of their not lo\iing.”

N Wilma did not love Robert. She wanted to have Robert, to own him, because she really loved Wilmaand she wanted Robert to\

A newspaper story of some years b&k tells of Wilma and . Robert Smallfield of Los Angeles. Wilma and Robert. were dl-

vorced, but Wilma objected td Robert dating other women. One day tile drlvlng down the street ‘in his new car, Robert was rammed from behind. He looked back and there was Wilma in her Buick At the n&t intersection when he paused’for a traffic love Wilma too. Pare& can manifest that same kind of selfcen- light, he was rammed again. The the third time he was rammed teredness in relation to-their children. The &lid becomes an from an angle. It was Wilma who shouted at him to-turn arid fight extension of the self. But when the child is. ot@an extension-of like a man. Wisely, Robert sped off. But a few blocks later he was the self, what is called Parental love becomes something other hit for a fourth time as Wilma zoomed out at him from a hiding than and less than. certainlv different from. love. place. Robert left hi-s car to call the police.-Whenthey anived, he God Ioves without quest& absolutelv. f&d because He loves was pinned against a wall and she was at him with a two-by-four. In absolutely, He suffers: when we Suffer because we love, we are’ @iI, she explained, “1 only wanted tofrighten him. I did it all for c’losest to God: we experience love ourselves and others observe love.” - love -in US. . ’ i ’

In a Peculiar way, Wilma was right about love, as she under- God is certainly foolish about us, like a fond father. And when .., stood iSc,#@-do~~*rigs fiar,*t*~+ love;@@ dtw% tall love i&&$@epyown, toba$&;‘6possesi; i;o c&r& AS %ltih

. Fromm.has written, “When lOVe is &Per&&d in the mode of hating, it implies confiniiig, lmpnsoru’ng or controlling the object

-New types of- <Vu <on., riS:e, ’ , -.

by Dan Andrew, M.D. f ,-Directoi - UW Health and’ Safety

thxt-carries sperm froin the testicle to the penis. i

A newly recognized sexually transmitted disease (STD) called .Sexual partners of persons with genital Chlamydial infections

have themselves a high incidence of Chlamydial infections. This is Chlamydia trachomatis, causes infections which are the most prevalent and among the most damaging of all sexually transmitted

in the range of 30 - 70%. Many of these contacts are asymptomatic.

diseases. An estimated 34million Americans suffer from a Chla- Therec is a high co-existence of Chlamydia with other sexually.,

mydial infection each year. The. incidence-of these infections has transmitted diseases. 1530% of heterosexual men with gonococ&l

doubled in England and Wales in the last decade. urethritis have simultaneous urethral infection caused by.Chlamy- dia trachomatis and an even higher percenttige‘ of women with ’

Chlamydia trachomatis causes a variety of diseases. It causes an ,.. gonorrhca have Chlamydia trachomatis infection of t.he cervix.’ - estimated 2.5 times more urethritis in men ,than does gonorrhoea Because mucopurulent cervicitis (MCI+), nongonocbccal urethritis (The urethra is the tube through which-urine is passed). Chlamydia (NGU), pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) -and epididymitis are - is also responsible for approximately 250,000 cases’ of acute infec- also commonly associated with gonorrhoea, patients with these

* tion of the’epididlmis seen each year in the United States. (The epididymis is the tube that carries sperm from the testicle to the

syndromesshould also receive treatment effective against gonococ- cal infection. _ -

penis). Because contacts of people’with syndromesassociated with Chla- Chlamydial infectii)ns among’womeu are more important. M.ost mydia may be-asymptomatic, individuals exposed through sexual’

are asymptomatic (6~. withqut symptoms) in women, but do cause contact within 30 days of the onset of any of the above mentioned diseases such as cervicitis and acute pelvic inflammatory disease syndromes -should be evaluated for STD and treated for pre- . - (PID). Chlamydia accounts for 250,000 - 500,000 cases of PlD in isumptive Chlamydial infection.. the United States each year. These infections, in addition tp infections of the Fallopian tube &used by .Chlamydia trachomatis,

For some other reasons, women and heterosexual men with

contribute to an increasing number of women having ectopic preg- confirmed gonorrhoea infections as well as sex partners of members of both of these groups are often treated with an antimicrobial

nancy or involuntary infertiiity. 1.. ~ --. regimen that is effective! against both gono,rrhoea and Chlamydia ~ . 1. . . .- . . . Each-year more than 155,000 infants are born in-the United . frachomatis !nIection.

States to Chlamydial infected mothers. These newborns areat high’. risk of developing conj’unctivitis (inflammation of the eyes), p&t-.

To summarize, we are qow faced with 4 very prevalent. and

monia, and more likely to develop ear infections &d bronchiolitis. potentia1ly ,damaging newly recognized sexually trausmitted dis-

Chlamydiae are unique micro-organisms whose specific proper- -ease called Chlamydia trachom&is. lt is frequently asymptomatic,

ties have been delineated largely in the last two decades. They are therefore carried by unsuspetiting people, and it is frequently’associated with other sex,ually transmitted diseases. _-. ,

classified as bacteria, but share propertics with viruses and bacteria.> It is; therefore, important for patients to clearly understand that For this reason, they are diffidult to identify and they are not as I they must take medication according to schedule. This included the

‘susceptible to many antibiotics. dosage, timing, and length of time of the prescription. This is to be Genital infection- rates due to Chlamydia trachomatis are inver- strictly followed; despite abatement of symptoms.

sely related to age and positively @related with the number ofsex The doctor, should be notified if there is difficulty with the ’ partners, Sexually active women under 20 years of age have Chla- medication, for example in regard to side effects, ,or if there -gre mydia infection rates 2-3 times higher than those for women over 20 continued or ,worsened* symptoms. A follow. up and test of cure is .’ years of age, and- the rates for women 20-29are higher than those of sometimes indicated- women 30 years of age and over. Similarly, the, rates for urethral

-infection among teenage males are higher than those for adults. The patient shduld’absta’iii from sexual a’ciivity until ,medi&ti&

Risk of infection increases with the number of sex partners. Most is completed for both the patient and the j#lrtner. If this’is not

women with cervical Chlamydial infection, most homoiexualmen . possible, the patient should use condoms, until treatment IS corn-.

pleted. , c

with Chlamydial infection, and asa many as 30% of heterosexual ’ Sexual activity should be stopped immediately if the same or men with Chlamydial .urethritiS have few or no symptoms. These are three ,more Chlamydial associated syndromes common among

other sexually transmittedsymptoms recur, and the patient should return to the doctor or clinic with the sex partner. _

women: (1) Muco-purulent cervicitis (MPC); (2) Urethral syn-- drome orurethritis; and (3) Pelvic inflammatory disease.(PlD); The

A way of preventing sexually transmitted diseases including Chlamydial infection is to regularly use barrier methods of contra-

first, MPC, produces, no,symptoms in most women, but may pro- ception, particularly condoms., duce a foul ‘smehing or. staining or itchy v,aginaI ditiharge. ;The second, the urethral syndrome or urethritis, .eauses lower abdom-

’ Realize that the risk of Chlamydial infection intireases when, multiple partners are involved:

inal pain. It frequently leads to sterility due to subsequent scarring \ of the fallopian tubes.

The results of untreated Chlamydial infection include-infertility, . ectopic pregnancy and newborn -infant illness; ’

-There are two Chlamydia associatedsyndromes common in men: ’ Even if medication is taken strictly according- to instructions, - -.nongonococcal urethritis, .and aoute epididymal orchitis. The

former is an Inflammation of the inside of the peni; with pain on Chf&myd:lal infections may reeur.&fter treatmerit‘is completed. This may be due to resistauce of Chl,amydia trachomatisto,theantibiotic

pass,ing urine, the seFond.-is,,a swollen a,@ painful-t~st,ic~~..~d:tu~~ -. ;,u@,, or may be, due to t,heie,~e~~iipn,.froi5I one’s partner- . . .,,_ I 1 . ,J, “‘I. - :- .’ .-

.

by Patil Done lethargy by Go, the Tones On Tail hit and Ball At least flashpots and a dry ice machine F Imprint staff . of Confusion, their own unbearable castra- ‘might have relieved the boredomlof the lack-

Love and Rockets -brought their own dis- tion of the Temptations classic. _ lustre performance. tinctive brand of heavy metal to Fed Hall 0i7. Visually, the band was even less’appealing Registered Trademark, a _ local band, November 30. Playing before a packed house than their music, with David Jay and Daniel opened the show and they were an inapprop-

of adoring fans, they proved once and for all Ash standing, almost unmoving, at the front riate choice. Their brand of late-70s mod-rock that their musical roots lay not in the dark of the stage while Kevin Haskins bashed away, beauty of Joy .Division and the Birthday Party monotonously at his Simmons synth-drum

a, la Jam was a real contrast to the repetitious fare served up by L & R. Their set, a-mix of

but in the bloated excesses of the likes of‘Led kit. - Zepplin, Deep.Purple and early Pink Floyd. With both the music and the visuals being

originals and covers, showed good pacing and a marked improvement over some of their

-Like men on quaaludes, the band played sorely lacking, it was time to listen clo’sely to - past shows. . with neither intensity nor conviction.. This the lyrics in an attempt to salvage some sort of translated into an.audience which. was quiet ._... respectability for the band: Again, Love and and unresponsive; hardcore Bauhaus fans Rockets were found to be lacking. The band

Oh well, once the commercial viability of ,Love and Rockets has disappeared they can

and the little girls staring raptly at Daniel resorts to platitudes such as “Don’t take it all always form under a new name, release Ash’s gaunt frame and high cheekbonesex- too seriously” as a pale substitute for intellec- another. bad cover version of a classic song

. cepted. The crowd w&s only raised out of its tualor emotional content. and make a few bucks in the process. ’ , /

and war-m-tip band Registered _ Trademark (upper right). Photos by

Bubba Washinston

Albe.& Collhs: provides guitar *ma3ic ‘; \ by Doug Tait’ \ . way through the crowd carry-

- ‘Imprint staff Whats this, rockabilly at a

blues, concert? That’s exactly what the

packed,house heard at the Al- - bert Collins show last Thurs-

day at the Canadian Legion. The rockabilly was played by a trio named The Hawk Shop (two of the guys used to play with Ronnie Hawkins). Their set, despite some sound problems, featured some good guitar work from vocalist John Lewis. A few covers of old

ing his guitar and greeting pa- trons. “Hey how you feeling tonight. Good to,see ya man,” Albert said, as he passed by tables. A lot of people didn’t recognize the man; then as he passed by a table full of guys building a pyramid out of beer cups; they all rose simultane- ously yelling “Albert.”

The man stopped in his tracks gave a wave and a smile then went or-i his way.

Yes, Albert Collins is a j

Ike and Tina Turner), Soke Richardson (former John Maya11 band member), John Gayden, Abbe Lock, Gab Fleming and Hugh Williams, got a chance to play some solos. They warmed up the crowd by delivering some great solos on the sax, trumpet and, unfortunately, an inaudible organ solo, due to sound problems.

Suddenly the place started

istandards like Caledonia and If there was a problem with #difficulties. some of his more famous .material such as Frosty. He

this concert, it was the sound. ~ At. times you couldn’t hear the Last Thursday’s sho.w was ’

even took a walk around the band as a whole, but the au- the Southern Ontario Blues hall, sitting at differe-nt tables, dience didrr’t seem to care. Al- Association’s last show untili all the while wailing on hisgui- b&t’s Texas-style blues guitar the new year. Look forward tar as the band kept playing and magnetic stage presence to some more “bad ass” blues up on the stage. compensated for the sound next season.

Handel’s Messiah uplifting

/ rockabilly -’ tunes put the I crowd in high spirits before viewing the master. * ’ . During the ,break; Albert Collins made his entrance via * the front door. He made his

down to earth guy, no preten- tious rock star bullshit here, he’s just one of the boys.

Later on, the Icebreakers . took the stage minus Albert. The six-man band, consisting of Leon Blue (who played.with .I

to sound like that sickening commercial on’T.V. with the hockey player. “Albert, Al- bert,” the crowd yelled as he took the stage.

From then on Collins dis- played his guitar magic, pounding out solo after solo. He played a lot of old blues

by Jo-Anne Longley range of notes for great the Messiah, which speaks of Imprint staff lengths with seeming ease. the resurrection of Christ and ’

The ten minute ovation for Heppner, though less expe- the rule of God, .passed al- last weekend’s performance rienced than his contemppr- most as a whisper. The au- of Handel’s Messiah by the K- aries of the evening, matched dience, which traditionally W Philharmonic Choir, four with Bennet and the result stands up for the chorus, al-. guest soloists, members of was the same‘as Relyea’s duet most missed their cue. It the K-W Symphony Orches- with the trumbet. seemed that the members of tra, proved the evening was’a Soprano Heidi Geddert the orchestra played with success. The manner in delivered every note with clar- their hearts on their sleeves, which they achieved this ity and emotion. Deddert while the choir -kept their credit was- unexpected, yet played the part and believed hearts too much from view.

delightully enjoyable. ’ in it, as ‘did Relyea and The Hallelujah Chorus, as . The third part of the perfor-

‘mance, which speaks of the redemption of the world I _ >

Albert1Collins: The Pmbassador of Blues ,,, , \

through faith inChrist proved to be the most vibrant and energetic part of the evening. It was a true grand finale from start to finish which made the Centre in the Square come

Hallelujah chorus coines up short /

alive and which brought the ovation. . ’

The energy, volume a-nd va- Bennet. Heppner, however,._ riation of soloist bass Gary seemed t.o be lacking in some . Relyea matched ’ superbly with the trumpet playing pro- wess of that section’s soloist. This parlay between the two* caused the ‘heart to ,pound and the spine-to tingle.

quality or another, seeming-a little bland and unamused. t ,

The voices of tenor Ben Heppner and mezzo-soprano Linda Bennet, executing the only voice duet of the evening’s performance, rang ; strong and true. Bennett’s voice ’ carried well, holtlihg a

The first and second parts \ came across as, at times, dull. The orchestra* often overpo- wered the choir, under the di- rection of Howard Dyck. As a result, the power and beauty of Handel’s voice went at times, virtually unnoticed.

The Hallelujah Chorus, one of. the most famed pieces of

expressed, is famous. One , expects’ to hear about the re-

surrection and the light of God and the spreading of that light. The third part speaks of hope, of the-worlds redemption. Perhaps in such dire times with S.D.I., famines here and there and general

I .disruption everywhere, the performance of the Messiah should concentrate more on I( the latter part, expressing

, hope and our virtuaf re:‘ demption. d

Siouxsie and the Banshees Cities in Dust

Polygram

by Chris Wodskoul Imprint staff

The first lady of death, decay and doom is ‘back with a vengeance. Cities in Dust, Siouxie and the Banshee’snew four- track E.P.; isn’t half as good as the rich intensity Siouxie & Se;erin & Co., achieved on their classic singles Christine and Spellbound, but it is a healthy move away from the dank, tuneless gloom that prevailed on their last album, Hyaena:

Cities In Dust, apparently inspired by a trip to the ruins of , Pompeii, uses the band’s greatest asset, Siouxie Sious’s rivet-

ing voice, to its full potential for the first time in years. Her passionately mournful death howl transports the listener to a vivid re-enactment of Pompeii’s dying moments. But instead of degenerating into the gratuitious morbidity which has marred so much of their previous work, the focus is on the sad irony of the destruction of a great human civilization in seconds in one of their best and least oblique lyrics.

If titles mean anything, then at first glance it would seem that Quarter-drawing of the Dog is a return to their excessively rancid imagery. From the bubbling maelstrom of bass and guitar at the outset, the suspicions appear to be confirmed, but then a positively bright synth riff breaks into the fore which is almost twee in its cheerfulness (yes, cheerfulness), showing that somewhere on their dark journeys, they seem to have picked up a sense of humour. .

They might never make another Christine, but as long as Siouxie & The Banshees continue to make records of the calibre of Cities In Dust, I don’t think anyone, can complain.

Sleeping Bag Records’ Greatest Mixers Collection Various Artists

Johnny The Fox , Tricky Tee

Tonight Hanson & Davis

Sleepin,g Bag/Fresh Records

a screaming guitar aria which is a good finish to an unbal-

a good motif was not resolved

anced album. or developed and, instead,

The album does not war- was convoluted or dragged out. Check out the Shadow-

rant the two finger gag award fax albums issues in the 80s but it does not equal the and leave the ‘75 reissues for music being currently per- the historians. formed by Shadowfax. Often .*lrJr*****************************

:: *

Top Ten Records/Tapes for the Week Ending November 29, 1985

g

f 1. Depeche Mode - *

Catchina UD With C E

. . ____ 2. Echo & The Bunnymen - Song to Lear; an2 Sing *

N 3. Artists United Against Apartheid - t 4. Pete Townsend - .-

Sun City $:

* 5. Clash - White City N

c 6. Sade - Cut the Crap *

+t 7. Starship - Promise X

g 8. Ministry - Knee Deep in the Hoopla

c 9. Spandau Ballet - All Day (EP)

N

The Singles Collection x * 10. Cult - * - - Just Arrived

Love g

* 1. Annabella - *

$ 2. Husker Du - Don’t Dance With Strangers (EP) N

+ 3. Various Artists - Flip Your Wig f

Music Sampler of the State of N

~****~+****+~****~****.*-*~~~~*~

by Paul Done Imprint staff

The dance-music market is one which remains virtually un- known to most record buyers. It is a market where club play- lists and DJ record pools rule supreme. The one constant in the dance music market is change: the length of a record’s life is measured in weeks rather than months and most DJ’s would retch at the though of playing a record which is three months old.

The Sleeping Bag Records’ Great&t Mixers Collection is the first compilation that Sleeping Bag has released and it contains a sampling of their releases from their 1981 debut Go Bang to Your Life by Konk, possibly their biggest hit to date.

As the title indicates, the stars of the album are the mixers - the likes of Francois Kevorkian (who did the fabulous New York mix of This Charming Man) and Mark Kamins, who produced Madonna while she was still only big on the dance- floors. As if to empasize the effect mixers can have on songs, two different versions of Weekend by Class Action, are included.

One of the finest dance-music labels of the last few years has been New York’s Sleeping Bag Records, which at one time or another has distributed records by Scottish funksters APB and Bonzo Goes To Washington, a collaboration between Funka-

It is a pretty fine record with the best tracks being Need Somebody New by Jamaica Girls and the aforementioned Your Life; a dense mix of latin rhythms and New York funk.

Johnny The Fox by Tricky Tee and Tonight (Love Will Make it Allright) by Hanson & Davis are the two latest releases from Sleeping Bag and they maintain the high quality .associated with this label.

Johnny The Fox offers a new twist on the old rap theme. It takes the usual rap and fuses it with the heavy percussion and

Shadowfax Watercourse Way

Windham-Hill Records (1975) Reissue

by Peter Lawson ’ Imprint staff

The joy of listening to another Shadowfax album lasted until the needle pressed the vinyl and the notes on the album were heard. Watercourse Way, a reissue from 1975, lacks the

’ splendour of The Dreams of Children (Shadowfax 1984) which delights the ear. The music on Watercourse Way is void of the varied textures, instruments and the melodic joy that marks the Shadowfax’ of the 80s.

The first two cuts, The Shape of a Word and Linear Dance, written by guitarist G.E. Stinson, are riddled with the cliches of “acid rock”, “progressive rock” or “fu- sion” (your pick). Lengthy, jagged guitar solos pierce through these songs and leave little impression.

- A song such as Petit Au- bade sounds like a study ex- cercise of Renaissance music. the sound is pleasant but not fresh.

Westmount Place Shopping Centre Waterloo

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The album gains respecta- - bility as it progresses, with the

concluding songs, Water- course Way and Songfor My Brother, being the best moments. Watercoursti Way

*begins with a spunky rhythm as a textural base for a woodwind topping, then it shifts to a guitar and congo drums duo, and then returns to the woodwind ensemble. A little redundant at the start, Song for My Brother blossoms into

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delic bassman Bootsy Collins and Talking Head Jerry Harri- pounding bass shake of Go-Go emerging with a great sound son. which manages to free itself from the usual rap cliches.

On the other hand, Tonight rests solidly in the mainstream of N.Y funk with its sparse instrumentation, heavy sequencer lines and intense vocals. Nice groove.

Green On Red No Free Lunch

Mercury (Import )

by Tim Perlich Of all the groups that have recently forsaken. past images and hopped the first boxcar to Nashville, (or Athens), Green On Red’s change-over has got to be the ugliest yet.

It is truly unfortunate for a group who showed so much promise on their garage-inflenced debut to have sunk so low.

No -Free Lunch represents some of the most horrific displays of pseudo-country music ever committed to vinyl. The over-exaggerated southern drawls, gratuitous references to “dusty roads” and “train tracks”, as well as chord progressions lifted directly from a Flying Burrito Brothers’ songbook, might be seen as parody if the songs were at all humourous - they’re not. The saddest *part of all is I don’t think they realize how ridiculous they sound.

I

be This cartoon stereotype of the rural American persona could

excused in part because of ignorance, had they been European. However, they’re from California and have the musical ability to accomplish something far more substantial than make feeble attempts at covers,

be Their own songs are so ruthlessly insipid that they just can’t taken seriously: . . . “Heading down a dusty road / Looking -

for a horny toad.” (Time Ain’t Nothing). I’m sure Yosemite Sam could come up with something a little

less trite . . .the American Eagle on the cover should have _ .tippedAme otf.

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Crabe Tamb~~r, a French film that has received very lit- cl, ,cc,.mc:,.e 1’1 I- -1 -~ A LIP: CILLCIILIUII unw lasr year. n romantic film about war, honour, atid empire, it is the first commercial release in North America by Pierre Schoen- doerffer. The film is a series of

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Opening Friday December 13 at a premier Theatre near you, aheck local listings. ’

B-Ball Warriors lose to Stanford but ranked ‘#l by Steve Hayman Imprint staff

the pressure well.” And the Warriors went on to win by Il. Obviously Stanford was in a different league than the other three

Last weekend was one of extremes for the Warrior basketball schools, whomping the Warriors 112-72. As McCrae says, “It’s team, when they participated in U of T’s Can-Am Challenge Tour- almost impossible.for a team of our calibre to play two Division 1 nament. schools on consecutive days. We just don’t have the juice.”

First, they beat an American Division 1 team, something they haven’t done in ten years. Second, they were crushed by a Division 1 school in their worst defeat ever. Finally, on Monday, the team was ranked number one in Canada by CIAU.

Kind of intersting. Toronto’s tournament followed an unusual format. Two Canadian school played two American schools, with tournament standings determine on a country vs. country basis. Sort of like Rocky IV.

“Stanfords a big, solid team. People who follow basketball will remember Tom Davis who coached Boston College to the NCAA final 8 a few years ago. Now that he’s at Stanford they’ll finish in the top 2 or 3 of their league. But they don’t have a dominant big man,” McCrae remarked.

Division I is the top classification for Amercian schools. Water- loo and Toronto each played American U.. of Washington D.C., and Stanford, of Palo Alto, California. In the tournament’s opening game, Waterloo solidly defeated Amercian U. 100-89.

Is there any way we could ‘have beaten Stanford? “Well, 1 was shocked by how much they could score off their pass and fast break. If we could get them to a half court game . . . but we couldn’t”, said McCrae.

Undoubtedly a tremendous confidence builder this early in the season, the game was clearly a delight for McCrae. “An outstanding game. We played a wonderful first half, but they hit six points in the last minute to take a 47-44 halftime lead. That took the wind out of our saild. We down eight early in the second half, and it looked like they were rolling over us, but we actually wore them out, we had them in trouble.” ’ McCrae says of American U.: “They were surprised. They had nobody ,who could handle Randy Norris - when they doubled on him, Paul Boyce filled in with jump shots. And our guards handled

Toronto also got whomped by Stanford, but managed to beat American by two points in double OT. Toronto thinks big - their two tournaments this term have been the “Canadian National Invitational Tournament” and the“Can-Am Challenge”. In spite of all this, the Blues fans don’t seem to be responding to the keenness of their tournament organizers.

The Can-Am Challenge was set up partly ,as a means to bypass strict NCAA rules on number of games played. If the two Amercian schools had played each other, the game would have counted as one of the 28 they’re allowed to play in a year. But international games are outside this scope. Kind of a strange format. “The format had no meaning to any of the players. We know we finished second”, McCrae analyzed. It remains to be seen if this tournament will be

Best, team in ten years:

Squas 1 team places second

With it’s strongest squad of ‘the past 10 years, Waterloo’s squash team challenged number one ranked Western this weekend, and finished three

,points behind in second place.- In the best match of the tour-

nament, Western narrowly defeated the Warriors 4-2. UW entered the tournament without the’services of their number one player Mike Costigan. This forced every player to move up one position. Rob Bowder played ,in the -top spot and defeated WLU and McMaster 3- 0. In his match against Guelph’s Ross Harvey, a Canadian Ra- quetball star, Bowder lost his first two games only to come back and defeat Harvey, who defaulted from fatigue after losing the second and third games. Western’s number one Glenn Murray defeated Bowder in three closely contested games.

Ed Crymble, Waterloo’s second, was suffering from a heavy cold, and was disappoint- ing in his loss to Western’s Lahey and Guelph’s ,Anderson 3-O. He later redeemed some points by defeating WLU and McMaster 3-O. ’

Warrior’s number three and four positions filled by Jamie Allen and Ron Hurst respec- tively, won three of their four matches, losing only to West-

ern. Allen started strongly, winning the first game, but Western’s experienced Jim Bacon finally out-manouvered him in a tough 3- 1 match, giving the Mustangs the deciding points.

Waterloo’s number five player John Curran and number six Rob Ayer had perfect records winning all four matches over their Western, WLU, Guelph and McMaster opponents. John Curran defeated Western’s powerful Scott Leggat 3-O in an excellent display of intelligent squash. Leg- gat had earlier won the “B” Division of the Canadian lnter- University Championships in Otto ber and is a former U.S. Junior Champion. Sophomore Rob Ayer showed a great deter- mination in winning over West- ern’s smooth-stroking David Coons in a marathon match, 3- 2. Ayer hung on to win the fifth game 10-8.

Saturday represented the first time in recent years that the OUAA Champions, Western, have lost a match to Waterloo. * It gave great encouragement to the Warrior coaching staff, who think that Waterloo has an excellent chance of finishing with a gold or silver medal in the OUAA team championships in January 1986.

around next year. What’s ahead

.The team breaks now until the Ryerson tournament in Toronto. On Friday December 27, the Warriors play McGill at 9:00 pm. Other opening round games include Toronto-Victoria, McMaster- PEI and Ryerson-Guelph. Watch for the Waterloo-Victoria final. Unfortunately, all teams will have to pIay after a long pre-Christ- mas layoff that may make some of the results less than informative. the next home game is Saturday Jan 4 against Toronto Estonia, a strong senior team that beat the Warriors 89-78 earlier, but Water- loo is now much improved. The regular season begins shortly thereafter. The Rankings 1) W,aterloo

2) Saskatchewan 3) St. F.X 4) Calgary 5) Victoria The Vikings dropped out of first after a pair of losses last weekend. A Look Back

After a somewhat sluggish start, the Warriors are now playing some good ball. “We’ve capped off a satisfactory pre-season with much improved ball the last 2 weekends”, a happy McCrae said. The Warriors are 9-4 on the preseason, but 7-O against Canadian universities, the only competition that really matters. How long can they stay in first place? Up to and including the final? I think so. It’s going to be an exciting season. See you at the PAC.

_ - -- - ----- The team is currently in fir& place with a 9-2-l record.- Warriors Peter Croise, Dave Cole, Andrew Smith and Steve Linesman were selected for the OUAA West All-Star Team. Photo by Satinder Sahota

Free Ice Time There is limited FREE ice time for Campus Recreation teams

available on a first come first serve basis the week of January 6-12 only. Sign up immediately at PAC reception desk.

\

Ball Hockey Highlights The fall ‘85 hockey season is now a thing of the past and here are

its final:outcomes and some of the term’s highlights. The four Divisional Champions are as: follows: A Division:

Bombers, 5-3 over Who Cares; B Division: Screaming Stemmers, 5-2 over SJC Ballers; C Division: Licence to Kill, 14-2 over 9 Whops & 2 White Guys; D Division: SJC Gumbeys, 5-2 over South E-Rot- its. Congratulations to all the champions.

Vancouver

Saskatoon

TORONTO

h % $369 Edmontbn I

$309 Winnipeg

Halifax $199

Calgary $339

$199 -

Refunds- ! To all competitive teams (men’s and women’s basketball, men’s

and women’s vollyeball, hockey and ball hockey): please come and pick up your performance deposit refund vouchers-from the PAC receptionist and take your voucher to the cashier’s office in Needles Hall and cash it in. Note: All refund vouchers must be picked up by the end of this term.

Referee’s Pay Attention all hockey, ball hockey and basketball referees. Your

pay can be picked up at 3:00 p.m. at the cashier’s office, Needles Hall, on Friday, December 13.

. r“

Sky Diving Club . . On January 9, 1’986, UW’s SkydrvmgClub will have their first

organizational meeting of the new year. Approximately 30 first- time jumpers make their first leap from 3,000 feet every term. Trips to Grand Bend are often arranged for jumping weekends.

The Januarv 9th meeting will take mace in CC 113 at 5:30 pm.

,HAVEAVERYMERRY CHRISTMAS_ AND

BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR FINAL EXAMS

78 Francis St. N. COJX& of Weber & Water fl

‘*. .spolTrs * .- , ’ Imprint, Friday December 6, 1985 ’ _ i

dav 0 hfe As she makes her way into the gym all her dreams and aspirations of _ _ _ being #l on the Campus Ret competitive teams begins to come true. by Mary Melo and Nancy Massey

Photos by Simon Wheeler With the new craze over health and fitness it has come to our

attention that diet centers and diet pills have become predominant in-our society. Contrary to popular-belief, there is still-the good old fashioned way of trying to get in shape. Our typical Rec. Buff (demonstrated in the photos)-& a perfect example of fitness in the eighties.

We decided to prove that Campus Recreation provides fitness for everyone without having to empty your bank accounts. Through Campus Recreation you too can be transformed (as was our Cam- pus Rec. Buff).

; As a-treat for all the hard work she has done, our Rec. Buff indulges in a nice cool swim in the pool.

Our candidate started off being a little out of shape, but by the time she took advantage of all Campus Recreation had to offer-

, . ..Well. the pictures speak for themselves. -

As her strength begins to improve, she starts to fantasize about becoming an all-round athlete.

Our Rec. Buff has shown Campus Rec. can do for you. So let’s get fit through Campus Rec. Make sure to pick up a winter calendar.

At 7:00 am. our Rec. Buff began to work on her new image. Coming back down to earth, our Campus Rec. Buff realizes she will Athletes Of The Week ’ Although determined, there are some things the body cannot do. have to work hard to reach her goals.

_-

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tower on Times Square display was set off at m forAtra;elers and revelers alike on every New Year’s Eve.

Why You’ll Like The Times Square Hotel %nart visitors to New York stay here because they get the most

hotel for their budget. Clean rooms start at just $30.00 for a single, $35.00 double. Lowest rates mean no frills, but plenty of clean linen and fresh towels. And the best of the City is just steps away. See Broadway shows and first-run movies weeks before friends back home! Full service and parking available for modest fees. New York’s Best-Buy Hotel. ,

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Cindy Poag Athena Basketball

Cmdy is being commended for her outstanding performance in both the league game against Western last week and in the Tait McKenzie Baske- tab11 Ciassic at York this past weekend.

Cindy played excellent basketball throughout the tour- namnent. She was a consistent , point-getter, scoring a total of 34 points over the weekend.

Dave Ambrose Volleyball

Dave played a big part in the Warrior’s tournament victory in Guelph this past weekend. He hit 28 kills‘in the semi-finals which led the team to a 15-l 1 win over the Western Mus- tangs. -

Contiorclia University Graduate Fellowships* Value: $6,500 to $10,000 Application deadline: February I,1986 Announcement of winners: April I,1986 Commencement of tenure: September 1986 or

January 1987

For details and application forms, contact the Graduate Awards Officer, S-202, Concordia University, 1455 de Maisonneuve Blvd. West, Mont&al, Quebec H3G 1 M8. Tel: (514) 84&3809.

ni The Times Square Hotel 255 West 43rd Street, New York, NY 10036

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* Includes the David J. Azrieli Graduate RWwship, the Stanley G. French Graduate Fisllowship, the John W O’Brien Graduate ’ IWnwhip,. and the Alcan Doctoral K&wship in Commerce and Administration. ’

FRIDAY DECEMEBR 6 \

1030 am., in I-iH 280. Student led services. Sermons mostly by Chaplain Graham E. Morley. L All Welcome. -

~Z)N&DAY DECEMBER 1 1 Holy Eucharist, 1230 p’m, Renison C&qe. Bible Study. Renison College, 10~00 pm. _ -_ __ ____... -.

Holy Communion: (Anglican and Lutheran) 9:30 The Conrad ~&d Collme Choir _ Carol sing for

Chinese Christian Fellowship Bible Study: & 11:30 am., St. Bede’s Chapel, Renison College. everyone. Jake Willms will lead. Ail W~CO~, THURSDAY’DECEM&R 12

Imitating Christ’s Humility. Phil. 1:29--2:ll. Lutheran Holy Communion WLu Seminary, Refreshments & Fellowships afterward. Keffer Chapel, Albert & Bricker Sts. 11:30 am.

1215-l ~00 pm., Modem Languages foyer. Huron Campus chc\-. .* Y~=-w r~ubunnf-f~cyIUIl. LWIUUh auuul

Everybody welcomed. 7:30 pm., WLU Seminary Ministry night fellowship. Plough. h f amc watmrl-.RM:AI P--C-,&

Rm 201. For further information please call 884- Common meal 4:30 pm., meeting time 5~30 pm.. Central America? Join us - vkwina the film, “The dining hall, and Wesley Chapel at St. Pal

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LuthGan Hohr Communion Candlbliaht servic,, p& Ah3-t __

0 muen as., wma Ail Welcome Friday nyghts. Good food, good music, good

Q- Regula; meeting of the Board of Directors of the 10~00 pm., WiU Seminary, K&let Chal

company. 8:30 pm., Campus Centre. . Graduate Student Association in HH 334 at 7:30 1 & Bricker %a ’ pm. All graduate students are welcome to attend. GUW cdikehm Con

CIlNnAV nFPEMRI=R Q Apple Users come to the Waterloo Regional ~~~~~~~ ’ lo’ Cc 8z00 I

---, II’S Americas in lhnsition”. Diiss& with Rebecca

Yodm-Neufieid, former El Salvadoran &se - rn

Fbentes. 7;30 pm, Adutt Recreation Centre, King c ?A,,-- PI- - .n I -= l - I -

neand--a -AL-----J- rr~~otnerswno 3m. Cal II 884~GLOW for

FRIDAY DEcEElEBER 13

!rmon, 430 pm., Chrisbnas party! Tree trimming, carolling, all tk sentimental stuff. Call Uda at 888-6913 or ext. 6331 for details. -

vu, ,L/rx. YL--wLI\ u Apple Mat& (WRAM) meeting. Agenda - a I.“‘b II I,“.

Executive elections, Q & A period and public Evening b*r with choir and s Christian Worship on campus: Every Sunday, domain software. M&C 1058, 7:30 Conrad Grebel College. ,

hltttne-fUllhf?store~llt, balcony. $1641 month + utilities. Located just off King S t next to Waterloo sq. - 25 min walk from camws. Call John 744- 7111 ex: 491 (workj, 7438901 (home).

Summer: one or two roommates needed for 3 bedroom partially furnished

townhouse. May return winter 87. Back ard walk r

for summer sunning. 20 min 5 min bike ride. Call Leanne 885

Java torever, although it’ kills. Mark-* Enjoyed mags, let’s do it again * sometime. Llew’s CUL- When do we get online circulation? And a special grin to

everyone else! Merry Christmas. Matthew B .

To the girl in the choir, back row, 4th from the end, Alto section: I saw you Sunday night, and I would r&lly like to meet you. Call me -579-3 I 21 . Mark. P . S . - Love your smile!

FASS: the writers welcome all of FASS to our Christmas party Friday Dec. 13. Call Linda at 888-6913 or University extension 6331 for details.

poTARi\wiil miss you terribly next term! . . .

Blue Knight! Herzlichen Geburtstag, 22, wishing happiness and eyebrows ’ up...always. When and how to celebrate? Af ter Deutschland, your choice. 1’11 miss

Lo ou so much...just come home safely.

n Voyage...1 love you Shamaroon!!

Lisa, *Noonan. Laurie. What’s the definition of a fashion risk? Knee high socks, pilgrim wear and a hockey stick. This is costing us a fortune. Figure it out soon!! Big Chill.

Ted and Greg. When do we get our end of 2A hugs and kisses? Love Pumpkin and Muffin. (Anxiously awaiting your reply!)

Merry Christmas Everyone! Especially: Janette; Sue; Wendy; Lorraine; Scott; Paul; Steve; Don; Larry; Mike; Sheila; Dave; Tammy; Elaine; Vanessa; Lydia; Lenny; Donna; Mike J.; Maureen; Simon; Lee and the Boys; Jamie; Jack; Rob; Imprint staff and all my other close friends! Send my x-mas gifts to Oakville, love Carol “Herb Tarlick * Fletcher.

Kidney-Beans - Paranoia will destroy ya. Leave the worrying to me. Keep smiling and good luck on your exams - Chicken.

Dear HG & FM Gotch (remember that ,contest) I .

Attention Male Frosh. Horny health student seeking unique relationship(s). . Fully experienced in all types of social i

disgases. 884.755? .

Desperately seeking any male. Frustrated Kin student needs it badly. Willing to positions. 884- %

rience pny idea on 5? *

Congratulations Bernadette and Jim on the recent arrival of your triptets, Niaill, Andre’ and Brian. Good luck, Love Aunt Paula.

Gk What does every Math-hole geek want? A : To become president of { ; : : I . Congradulations Geek

S . S . - Special thoughts for my special friend. Now that your feet are wet, finish

climbing that mountain. Thanks for putting a huge smile on my face and in my heart all term. Love ya, M.

To my fellow homosapiens; Stew?- I f Gumby was Pokey, he would be like a horse. Stu. Call me when our kids are old enough, like 17. Peter- &o n’t run around superglueing rhinestones on hard hats! John- Haagen-Dazs forever!! Chris- -with your guts, who needs the marines? (don’t answer). 0: eazy cum, eazy goo. Den.- Beware, snow tyres leave scars! Shiva- Have you tried Fresca on pantyshields? Pep.- Hdd back more water. Bruce- Go easy on the Crisco. Uew- Leather jockstraps? I bet you like F hand pup strobe Ii

B R

ts. Doug- Stay away from the ts, please. Tee- Here’s to the

sound o flipping pa Tot- GWM, 5’ I I “ , I6 8

es over the phone. Ibs, wishes to meet

same, age unimportant. JAS- Mocha- I

PERSONALS Rooms avaiiabk at S t Jeromes Coilege Men’s Residence for winter ‘86. For more information call Frank O‘Connorat 8848110

f3enibk shifts to act- cias scheduk. Midnite and evening shifts avaihble.AppraK3Oto35hoursper ;&T&y=

Kitchener. For f&her information. phone’893378 1.

on &eke&s f&n Tom& to Lundon or Kitdlener next term. Phone Al 7460663.

One(1)Chem22OPmf.Mustbeabkto speak write clearly and tell funnyjokes Contact present Chem 220 ctass. C2- 080.1030 -113Oa.m.

0836.

tinter: Roommate needed for 3 bedroom furnishe4 townhouse beginning January. May stay summer or return in Fall. Churchill S t . (20 minute walk). Call Leanne 8850836.

Furnish apartment available May- August, 3 large bedrooms, dishwasher. washer/ dryer plus all utilities included - across from Westmount Plaza 746-3825.

Summer sublets: Clean, close and comfortable, $99-s l25/ month. Call Sam’s 576-88 18.

Super House: 3 rooms available Janua route, r

Washer + dryer.,On main bus 160 each plus heat & utilities. 300

Wellington S t 578 1093.

Residence rooms, both single and double, are available at Conrad Grebel College for Spring term, 1986. For more information and an application, contact

Eio& Eby. Dean of Students, at 885

One Single,$l90, and one double, $3do. available, both on Albert Call Marita anytime at 746-4755. .b

Ottawa no lease! 4 bedrooms in 5 bedroom house on 2nd ave off of bank Close to downtown. $230 monthly plus utilities. Semi-furnished. Jan 1 (you can move in early) 613237-3320 after 6, 6 13726-2039 8 to 4.

Spend winter in a beautiful Victorian Mansion. 1 room available for female. Close to Waterloo Square, $180/ month. 1 Washer G dryer. phone Donna or Carol 885-0092.

Fed Buses to London &Toronto on Dec. 13/85 has been cancelled. H the 2 people

who purchased tickets would come in to the Fed Office, we will make suitable ar- rangements for your trip.

Gord Odrowskk in 0 cor@ct old friend Jill 886

tometry? Please -0060.

Cheesers of S D ! Thanks for a great term, but lets have an even better one in January! To all those cheesers who are leaving us, come back & visit, we’ll miss rdE7-a great x-mas! Love your major

Hey “Pokey” I love my Kmart coat! Lots of love and kisses for Chrismas. “Gumby”.

Avaibble Spring term/ 86, May to August 3 bedroom townhouse. 20 minute walk from UW. Call 8865577.

Working in Ottawa? Nice two-bedroom apartme?lt for Jan term. Cl buses, downtown(s). 575/ m. ruck “ r T” available for move to -Ottawa on December 20th or 2 1 S t . Brian or Helen: (613) 237-3911. I

TYPING

Medical Secretary will do your typing. 9OC per double-spaced page. 664-2105.

Quality Typing and/or word processing. Resumes stored indefinitely. Punctuation

-and spelling checked. Fast, accurate service. Delivery arranged. Diane, 578

1 wL--~ will do fast, efficient typing of student papers on Smith Corona typewriter. Reasonable rates. Lakeshore Village

area. phone 886-6 124.

25 years experience. 75C per double page. Westmount area. Call 743-

One roommate needed to share two bedroom furnished apartment for May- August ‘86. Near Cdumbia G Holly ( IO min. from UW). parking and iaundry k%ize3noker preferred. Call

. BummerAccomodations.Cheap!Ckan and roomy five bedroom house, ample parking. Large outdoor patio from kitchen. Fifteen minute walk from Laurier. $148/ month/ room plus utilities (price negotiable). Lease available to

E5xer in September. Telephone 746-

Female roommate wanted. Jan to April ‘86. Unfurnished master bedroom in

completely furnished Sunnydale house. $125 plus utilities per month. phone 746-

8518.

Roommate wanted, May&g ‘86. 2 bedroom apartment, bus route to UW. bakony, swimming pool, sauna, $210/ mo., indoor parking available, Westmount and Vii phone no. 745 8779 ask for Ron. A

FOR SALE

Question: what’s curly and blond, pretends to share an apartment with a brother,isin~andandata

k .f?;tgYa: ~fi~~z~~~~~~;o~

had a great term baby - I did. diqn’t see you much though. Well, call me in T.O. and we’ll do lunch at Gatherinas or some other nauseatingly trendy y.mrspot. Luv, the Big S . with the smile.

1985 Conquest’Mountain %ike, Norco’s too d the iine. Suntour X C deraiiers, st;ifters and bo&m bracket Suzue sealed hubs, Special&d Stumpjumper tires, Dia Cornpe GC982 brakes, Sugino atCmnksetWdotheFtOpd~ii~ components. Only ridden one month, so its truely in impecabie condition. Lists [email protected]! 5763008 (before 10 p.m.1 ask for Don andmakemeaseri&oJfer.

oak aurlhlg set, 5 pcs, 46. round, gdestd, light finish, very solid and handsome. Excellent condition. Must

Same day word processing (24 hour turn around if you book ahead). Draft copy always provided. Near Seagram Stadium. $1 per doable-spaced, page. phone 885- 1353.

Experienced typist will do fast, accurate work, I B M Selectric. Reasonable rates. Close to Sunnydale . Lakeshore Village.

Call 885-1863. sell, -5.7424750. - -

4%radng Bowlelang. Beatiul fiighc accumteretunl.wonderfulstweage IiJn. Great gift only $495. P.ii E Q X

-1685 Atiicoken. Ontario Pm- 1co. Appkucompatiblecornputerwith64k, 80 cd. card Monitor. 2 disc drives and

To mom: Thanks for all the advice, good- times and hippie talk this term. Cherry incense and fish without bicycles; Fn a!! Don’t go to co-op. You wo’t be able to fid your bed. A t least you have a path cleared for you here. Great x-mas babes: Come back ready for another groovy term.

Remember. Anthro at nine-thirtv! Wake me up D&ore you take a -shower! Sincerely, luv and all-that crap, Daughter. Attention Coop Hosebags; it was a grrat term. Have a good work term, come back and visit. Merry Christmas from your fellow H . B . S .

G . H . B . -thanks for being m friend. Have a good work term, Merry C h. nstmas and Best Wishes, I . R . S .

Maggie Can Type it! Essays, theses & letters, $1 per page. Resumes $5. “Free” pickup & deliver. phone 743- 1976.

Typing. Reports, theses, manuscripts, etc. Statistical and Math a specialty.. 16 . years experience. Also photocopies. phone Nancy 576-790 I .

- Typing- fast, professi6nal service, typed on computer, very reasonable rates. please call 886-3036 after 530 p.m.

Student house for Rent: 6 bed&m house available May-Sept 85. Erb and Westmount area, @JOO/ term, cdl 746 0876.

Serious. non- grad student seeks same (or simular) to share in 2

rtment (Westmount &

2083 or drop by P A S 3045. Male or female is 0-k

zBo.~rd.btsdsdhare:games and busiriess, $1,000 M best offer. printer ah avaibbk with card, $200. Call Eddii at 8846749.

Typ%WiklBM.sl+Xbk~ Qpewikr in exc&ent Co&lion. I f interested phone 74665 14.

Smith-Corona electric. typewriter, excenent condit.ion. New: Iii t?xixss~of $?OO.askinu:~l2O~lfinterrded.caU885-

S E R V I C E S I _ *To sirblet. l-bedroom apartmqnt in

Waterloo Towers. ( 137?) University ave. W) one month free. Jan 86-Aug 86 with option to take lease. Call Steve 746-0336.

One bedroom available in a townhouse with three other students, Jan- ‘I. Bedroom furniture available, $1 % /

month plus utilities. Albert street, 20-25 minute walk. 746-1044, Barbara or Donna.

HOUSING WANIED

Ottawa - Jan-Ap ‘86 - looking for female to share townhouse with 3 others. Bedroom furnished. Full use d house.

On excellent bus route to downtown + Hall. Call collect using ,last name Peterson. 6 137442549.

AccomodaUon wanted for 24 upper year co-q~ students durin#aJa-$$6. phoneGetzcdiect613

* LOST

Male roommate needed to share one bedroom apartment. partly furnished.

S%wandgiasscolouredbiacektlostat

137 University Ave (Waterloo Towers). Fed Hall on Friday. Nov. 22. if found.

Call 746-0569. pieasecontactlizat746-0444.lthasa lot d sentimental value. Reward giver!

Townhouse for summer ‘86 with pool. Directly behind Parkdale plaza. 5 min.

bike ride from UW. Furnished. washer, dryer, 3 bedroom. phone 8854955.

Furnished room with cable, phone, light cookin& Twenty min. walk to campus. No pa ng. Jan-Apnl. $175 per month. 886-9366 or ext 2909.

WANlED

Want teaching experience whileearning exba money? Craft instructors required by leading needlecraft company. Craft experience heipful but not necessary. Fkxibk hours, generous commision. For interview, call Maryann. ?42-f#13.

Infrarouge: One damn good time coming up on the 14th! Can’t wait! (eh) P . S . Will send the cheque as soon as I aet the fe@ s@tement. M&&o amor. -

Viux. Here’s to candles and apple pie at 3 a.m. and “matching sets” and firecracken (you were magic) Tu me manaues. Witch.

__ Need Help with Math and C S courses? The key to good exam marks is understanding. I am a computer science grad, so I can give you personal instruction in all Math and C S core courses. Rates cheap,

T otiable. I

uarantee you will see results. Call Alan: 88 5-0836.

The Birth Control Centre offers confidential and non-judgemental information and counselling on all

. methods of birth control, planned and un lanned pregnancy, subfertility and S&s . Drop by CC206 or call ext. 2306 for an appointment.

What am I noina to do? How can I be sure I am pre&ianc how should I tell my family. Can 1 continue in school, keep my job. Where can I obtain good medical care? Call Birthright 5793990.

We wish you Peace, Joy G Love during the Christmas Season. I f you are troubled by an unplanned pregnancy, you have a

friend at Birth Right. phone 5793990.

Will do liaht movina with a small truck. Also junk-@ken awaG. Call Jeff 8842831.

Laura. card, Love &o.

Shirk Meny Christmas!

Lisa. Noonan, Laurie: Frosty the snowwomer! were jolly, happy souls. Thou

9 h they could type, the time was

ripe, or them to roll in the snowl. (We didn’t say we were poets) Big Chill.

Glen (The Womanizer) Hauer. How are you.spending Christmas?!? A hot time will be had in Quebec!!! Saunas, fireplaces,slopes & more! Jab!Jab! Se ya in January!

South 4, thanks for a fantastic term, I wouldn’t have made it without a group like you. To those of us returning, Oh Mama! the good times are going to continue. Merry Christmas to all, Love Mom.

Conection: Last weeks Imprir%>as Steve Murdoch as the newly elected Mathsoc president. This should hake

.read “Math-hole President . . . Geek Murdoch.” Sorry for any inconvenience.

H O U S I N G AVAILABLE _ Room_avai@le at S t . Jerome’s College

Rooms available for summer ‘86 in beautiful old house. Kitchen, bath,

JANUARY IE X T E N ‘D E .D STATIONARY - SPECIALS. _ I BOOK. STORE -HOURS c

U of W Crested Binder Black or Gold . . . Reg. Price $2.49 Sale Price $2.29 U of W Crested Spiral Notebook Reg. Price $1.55 Sale Price $1.25 U of W Crested Clipboard Reg. Price $3.45 Sale Price $1.75 200 SHEET REFILL . Reg. Price $2.15 Sale Price $1.75 400 SHEET REFILL Reg. .Price $4.15, _ Sal& Price $3.89

Monday to Friday: 9:00 am. - 500 pm. Daily

I WE WILL BE OPEN ,EVENINGS

January 7th and 8th 5:00 to 1O:OO pm.

JanuarQ 9th 5:00 to 8:00 pm.

Saturday January 11th I 10:00 to LOO pm SHAEFER 5 m.m. MECHANICAL k’ENCIL

SPECIAL PRICE .qw r

(This Term use the’ Main Entrance only)

JANUARY 6th to- JANUARY 17 The Open-Door Gift Shop will be open Mondy to \Friday, 9:00 am. to 5100 pm. . at the

u of a BOOK STORE ‘.SOtJTH CAMP& HALL UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO IBOOK STORE

The Federation of Studeqts invites applications for the fdllowirig Executive positions

for the Winter 1986 term: .

Women’s Commissioner

Chairperson, Board of Academic Affairs / /

For further information, inquire at the Federation Office,

Campus Centre Room 235.

Appizcatzon deadlzne: Mclay, UecemDer f ml. B

. . . .

. . I .

ACCotiODATION ACCOtiODATION I ‘. 1 1 AVAILABLE ON CAMPUS ILABLE ON CAMP

FOR WINTER TERM 1986 FOR WINTER TERM 1986

AT ST. JEROME’S COLLEGE MEN’S RESIDENCE ,ROME’S COLLEGE MEN’S RESI .

FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL

FRANK O’CONNOR . p

WARNING: Health and W&fare Canada advises that danger to health increases with amount smoked -avoid inhaling. Average per Cigarette- Expoit “A” Extra Light Regular “tar” 8.0 mg‘., nicotine 0.7 mg. King Size “tar” 9.0 mg., nicotine 0.8 mg.

1985-86_v08,n23_Imprint

Documents

campus property

s robber

waterloo students

university of waterloo

elated jake robber

u w engineering society

u w math society

u w chief economist