100 Days of Meditation

100DaysofMeditationResults&Observations

TableofContents

Background OurSubject TheMethod Results&Observations

TheGood TheUnexpected TheReallyUnexpected

Background

FromJanuary1stthroughApril10thof2013Iparticipatedina100daymeditationpersonalchallengeorganizedbymembersofthe/r/meditationsubreddit.DuringthistimeImeditated3090minutesperdayandabstainedfromalcoholandcoffee(althoughIdiddrinkgreentea.)Also,inthetruespiritofmonasticism,Ididmybesttokeepcelibacy.IkeptanonlinejournalinthisGoogleGroupwhichtrackedassortedsubjectivedatapointsonmysits.

Ipresenttheresultshereinattempttobolsterthealreadyfairlywellknownhypothesisthatmeditationhasauniqueandpositiveeffectonmood,andalsotoputforthfordiscussionsomeotherunusualresultsofmypractice(seesection:TheReallyUnexpected)Finally,IwanttoencourageanyonewhoisinterestedinmeditationtopickupaZafuandablanket,andgiveitatry.Ifthismethodworkedforme,itslikelyitcanworkforyouaswell.

OurSubject

Iwasbornin1981andIliveintheUnitedStatesIhavea9to5job,Iamofaverageheight&weight,andIexercise13timesperweek.Idonttakedrugs,smoke,orhaveanymedicalorpsychologicalconditions.Ihaveawife,adegree,andIliveinasmallcityapartment.

WhenIwasfirstintroducedtomeditation,theconceptdidntmakeanysensetomeIcouldntunderstandwhatkindofbenefitjustsittingaroundcouldbringyouthatcouldn'tbehadinfargreaterformfrom,forexample,napping.Ibegantoinvestigate,butIfoundthatalotofthecontemporaryliteratureonmeditationisglommedtogetherwithwhatisknownas"newage"books,whichtendtobecomposedof99%nonsensethekindthatmakesyougenuinelyconcernedforthepersonwhowroteit(nottomentionwhomeverispublishing&purchasingit.)

Atsomepoint,however,Icameacrosstwoauthorswhoshedsomelightonthesubjectandalsoseemedtospeakfromtheauthenticityoftheirownexperience,whichrekindledmyinterestandmademethinkthatperhapstherewasmoretoitthanIhadpreviouslyrealized.ThesetwoauthorswerethelateGopiKrishna,andthecontemporaryauthorJ.J.Semple.ThroughbooksofSemplesandthroughhiswebsite,IdiscoveredanoldChineseTaoistmeditationmanual,TheSecretoftheGoldenFlower,oftendescribedasZenwithdetails(picturedright&henceforthabbreviatedasSGF),togetherwhichservedtopointmeinamethodologicaldirection.

TheMethod

Aboveall,Iwantedtofindacleanmethodoneasfreefromunscientificbaggageaspossible.Zazenseemedtoaffordthis,soItookafreeintroductoryclassmylocalZenCenter,which,whileitdidntgivemeanythingIcouldnthavegainedwithafewonlinesearches,helpedmefeellikeIwasatleastadheringtosomekindofacceptablestandard.TakentogetherwithSGFandGopiKrishnasbooks,IfeltIhadagoodstartingpoint.AftersometimeandadjustmentIsettledonamethodthatworkedwellformeitisasfollows:

1.Determinethebesthourofthedayforyoutosit.Thisisactuallyveryimportant,asthetimingofyoursitcanmakeorbreakit.Tworequirementsareimportanthere:

1. Thehouroftimeshouldbebeforeameal.2. Itshouldbemorethan4to6hoursafter

consuminganykindofheartratealteringchemicallikealcohol,caffeine(includingchocolate),sugar(althoughalittlesugarisprobablyfine),ornicotine.

Thereasonforthesetwocaveatsisthatyourmetabolismandheartrateareaffectedbydigestionandevenmildstimulantsordepressants,tothepointthatyouwillnotbeabletomanuallyslowdownyourmetabolism,whichinturnwillpreventyoufrommeditatingproperly.Thiscanbetrickytofitintoyourscheduledependingonwhetheryouareamorningpersonornot.

Morning,Noon,orNight?Thisauthorismostcertainlynotamorningperson,butdespitethat,Itriedseveralmorningtimeslotswithoutmuchluckbeforeultimatelysettlingonmeditatingintheearlyeveninghoursshortlyaftercominghomefromwork.InthemorningIfoundIwassimplytoogroggytofocusIwouldstarttofallasleepandcouldntcontrolit.Itriedothertimesaswell,butfoundthatbothafterdinnerandbeforebedwerenonstartersbecauseIwaseithertoofullortootired.Ifoundoutveryquicklythatsittingwithafullstomachorexhaustivelytiredismostlyawasteoftimeyoucantslowdownyourmetabolismandyouneverenterthemeditativestateyoudbebetterofftakinganap!

Thus,6or7pmpredinnerendedupbeingthebesttimeforme,althoughIfoundIhadtoeatalateishlunchinordertonotbebotheredbyhunger.Drinkingasmallglassofmilkorvegetablejuicehelpedtaketheedgeoff.

2.Findaplacethatisasfreefromdistractionaspossible.Inmycase,thiswasmybedroom.Here,Icouldclosethedoorsandwindows,pulltheshades,dimthelights,andapartfromoccasionallynoisyneighbors,bemoreorlessprotectedfromunwanteddistraction.

3.Findasittingpositioninwhichyoucanbemoreorlesscomfortableforanhour.Recliningisgenerally

abadideabecauseyourbodyassociatesitwithgoingtosleep,andyouwillfinditdifficulttostayawake.Standingdoesntreallyworkbecauseyoutendtoneedtoshiftonyourlegsoccasionallyinordertokeepthemfromaching,andthismeansthebestalternativeistosit.Aftertryingtositonabedpillow,thentwobedpillows,andfinallyacouchseatcushion,Icavedinandboughtazafucushion,whichworkedremarkablywell,elevatingmylegshighenoughforthemtobecompletelycomfortable(afteraboutaweekofacclimation)duringlongsits.Ialsodrapedaquiltovermylegsandfeetwhichhelpedtokeepthemwarm.Sittinginachairisanoption,andalthoughIdidnttryitpersonallyinthischallenge,itseemspossiblethatitmightworkaswellifsittingcrossleggedisuncomfortableforyou.

4.Focusonyourbreathing.Thisisoneofthosethingsthatpeoplealwaystellyoutodowhenmeditating,butnobodyeverreallyexplainswhyitssoimportant.Well,itturnsoutthatthereasonissimplybecausewhenyouarefocusingonyourbreathing,itdistractsyourbrainfromgeneratingotherthoughts,andthishelpsstillthemind.Itsespeciallyusefulwhenyourejuststartingout,becauseinitially,wranglingyourmindintostillnessisquitechallengingandcanseemfutileattimesbutbyrememberingtoreturnyourfocusbacktotheregular,calmingrisingandfallingofyourbreathing,yourbrainwilleventuallysettle.

PositionWithyourbackcomfortablybutnotforciblystraightened,eithercloseyoureyesorlowerthemsuchthattheyareaboutthesameangleasthetipofyournose(butdontactuallylookatthetipofyournosethiswouldmakeyoucrosseyed.)Againitsonlyimportantinsomuchasitreducestheamountofincomingstimulitoyourbrain.Forthefirst60days,Isatwitheyesclosed,whichhelpedpreventdistraction,butalsomadeiteasiertounconsciouslyslipintoadaydreamifIwasnotdiligentlyfocused.Afterabout60days,itbecameeasiertokeepmyeyesopen.Youcanprobablydowhateverworksbestforyou.

LegStyleLegstyleissomethingpeopletendtogethungupon,butitsbesttorememberthatthegoalhereisnottomasterasanaposes,buttobeabletositcomfortablyforextendedperiodsoftime.Thismeansitsokayifyouareinflexibleorweighmorethantheaveragepersonyoucanstillmeditate,youjustneedtofindwhateverzafu/chair/legpositionscombinationismostcomfortable.Initially,IfoundthatthemostcomfortablepositionwasactuallyjustthetypicallycrossleggedIndianstyle,thatmostofusarefamiliarwith,butthiswasonlygoodforaround20minutesorso,afterwhichitputunduepressureonmyankles.AfterafewdaysIswitchedtohalflotus(pictured)whichisthesamethingasIndianstylebutwithone

leg(anyleg)pulledupandoversuchthatitrestsontheoppositekneeorthigh,orwithinthespacecreatedbythekinkintheknee.

Inevergraduatedtofulllotus,nordoIthinkanyoneneedsto,unlesstheytryitandfinditscomfortable.Ivealsoneverbeenveryflexible,sodowhatworksforyou.Rememberthatthegoaliscomfortoverlongspansoftime,soyoudon'tneedtooverachieve.

5.Bepatientwhileyourbackandlegmusclesacclimatetothisnewposition.Thiswilltakeafewsits,mainlybecausethisisnotapositionpeoplenormallykeep,soyourlowerbackmuscleswillstarttoacheafter20minutesorso,andyourlegsandkneesmayfallasleeporbeuncomfortable.

Wheneveryoufeeluncomfortableduringasit,itsbesttoextendyourlegsorstandup/laydownifyouneedto.Itmaynotfeellikeitatfirst,butintime,trustme,youllbecompletelycomfortable,itjusttakesafewdaysforyourmusclesandjointstoadjust.Ifafteraweekortwoonazafu,yourkneesoranklesarestillsoreoryourlegsarefallingasleep,trysittinginachairratherthansittingcrosslegged.Youcouldalsotryleaningagainstabedorcouchorsomesurfacewhichwillofferbacksupport.Finally,ifyouhaventgotazafu,youreallyshouldgetonethefirmnessofthezafuwillgiveyourlegsadegreeofcomfortthatcantbefoundinapilloworcouchcushion.Yourlegsshouldneverfallasleepafriendofminewhodida30daysitcomplainedevenduringthelaterdaysthathislegsconsistentlyfellasleep,anditturnedouthehadbeensittingonapillow.Doyourselfafavorandbuyazafuearlyon.

6.Consciouslystopyourmindfromfollowingthoughtsthatitcreates.Thisisthekeystoneofmostmeditativepractice,andIfoundthatwhileinitiallydifficult,withevenasmallamountofpracticeitwasquicklyachievable.Itsdifficultyisduetothefactthatthemindinherentlyavoidsstillness,andatfirst,tothinkofnothingseemsimpossiblesurelyeventheactofnotthinkinginvolves

somethinking?Fortunatelythereisnoparadoxandnotthinking,Icanassureyou,iscompletelypossibleforanyperson,itonlytakespractice.ThecriticaldistinctionIfinallymadewasinrecognizingthedifferencebetweenperceivingthoughts,whichisapassiveprocess,versuscreatingthem.Theyaretypicallyverycloselybound,suchthateveryperceivedthoughtcreatesnewthoughts,andsoonindefinitely,totheextentthatevenaswesleep,ourbrainisrepeatingthisprocessindreams.Theonlytimeitdoesntiswhenweareindeepsleep,butourperceptionisturnedoffthenaswell,whichdrawsonetotheremarkableconclusionthatoutsideofmeditation,wemightonlyexperienceathoughtlessstateofmindformomentsinalifetime,howeverinmeditationweexperienceitforaslongaswelike.

AUniqueStateofMindTheabovestruckmebecauseitmeansthatthestateyoureachinmeditationreallyisagenuinelyuniquestateofmind,andonceIgottothedeeperstates,Irealizedhowtruethiswas.Atthosestatesyoucanclearlysensethatyouareinadifferentmentalworld,andyoucanpersistthereforaslongasyoulike,atleastuntilyourlegsgettiredor,say,yourdownstairsneighborsstartvocallyexpressingtheiraffectionsforoneanother.Forexample.

Whatyoullnoticeasyoupersististhatyourmindwillcometorestverynaturallyif,foraslongas30minutes,youdontfollowthethoughtsorfeelingsthatwillconstantlybearising.Those30minuteswillseemlike300,anditwilltypicallystartwithalotof"oops,IjustrealizedIwasdaydreamingagain"and"crap,Ijustreviewedaneventfromworkinmyhead",untilyouremembertocomebacktoyourbreathingthisisthe"hack"thatwilldistractyourmindfromitselflongenoughforittosettle,andonceitssettled,itsmuch,mucheasierforittostaysettled,butuntilyougetthere,itcanbepainfullyhard.Itsalsonotasgradualaprocessasonemightimagineitsastairstepgraphwherefor25minutesorlongeryousimplywillnotnoticeanychange,andthen,atacertainpoint,younoticethatyourenotwhereyouwerebefore.

TheimagethatcametomindwhenIfirstgotthehangofitwasthatofthebrainasthoughitwerealargejugofwater.Yourthoughtsandfeelingsbehavelikewavesthattravelthroughit,sowhenyouthinkaboutsomethingorsubmergeyourselfinafeeling,youareagitatingthejug,whichcreateswaves,andsoon.Thisprocessisvery,verysubtlebecauseyourbrainissensitiveeventothequietestofthoughts,andonceyoucreateone,thewaveswillbouncearoundyourbrainforseveralminutesuntiltheysettle.But,assoonasyoustopcreatingnewwaves,justasthejugofwaterwouldverynaturallysettle

andbecomecalm,sotoodoesyourmind,exceptthatwhilethejugwouldtakeonlyafewsecondstosettle,yourbraintendstotake3045minutes.Itsasensitiveinstrument,afterall.

Amusinglyenough,duringthisinitial"waitingperiod",Ialwaysthoughttomyselfevenatthe100thdayItisntworkingthistime,whyIamIsittinghere?Icouldbedoingsomethingelse

rightnow!andsoon,andsoforth.Butnevertheless,afterthe3045minutemark,IwouldslipintowhatIbegancallingTheDeep.

TheDeepTheDeepisapointatwhichyourealizethatnotonlyhasyourmindsettled,butyouveenteredintoanothermentalstateentirely.Fromaphysicalperspective,itcouldbethepointatwhichyourbrainwavesactuallyshifttoalowerfrequencystateatleast,thatswhatitfeelslike.Itshallmarkisstillnesstothepointwhereyoufeelasthoughyouaresuspendedunderwater.Ididn'talwaysgetthere,andittookseveralweeksbeforeIwasevenabletoapproachit,butbeforelong,gettingtherebecamethegoalofeverysit.Itmadetheexperiencerewardingandfascinating,becauseIsensedaprogressionthatIcouldgofurther.

Breathingandheartratewerekey.Ihadtoslowmybreathingnevertothethepointofdiscomfort,mindyouandindoingso,verygradually,myheartratewouldslowdown.IfIateaheavymealorwastired,Inevergotthere,buteverytimeIdid,itfeltgoodonadeeplevel.EverytimeIcameoutofTheDeep,Iexperienced,forlackofabetterword,ablissful,tranquileuphoriathatlastedseveralhoursandwastheprincipalbenefitofpractice.KnowingthatIcanbeinthatstateifIwanttohelpsmedealwiththestressesofeverydaylife.

7.Repeat.Adheringtotheregimenandnotbreakingthechainwaschallenging,butrewarding.KnowingthatIabsolutelyneededtobehomebetween67pmeverydayorIwouldntgetmysitinputaframeworkaroundmydaysactivitiesandmotivatedmetogetworkdone.Italsochangedmysociallife,forbetterorforworseforexample,onethingIcouldnolongerdowasgooutforhappyhourdrinksfollowingworkorrather,thefewtimesItriedtogotoabarandnotdrinkmademefeellikeitwasntworththeeffort.ItwasinterestingtofindthatIreallydidntcareforsocializingunlessIwasdrinking,andthatdrunkpeoplecanbereallyobnoxioustobearoundwhenyourestonesober.Furthermore,knowingthatmeditationwouldrequireacertainamountofenergy,Ifoundmyselfmoderatingmyworklevelduringtheday,suchthatIdidntendupcompletelywornout.

Results&Observations

TheGood

Meditationcompletelyeliminatedall(eventrace)feelingsofstressandanxietyafter3040minutes.Thiswasoneofthemostsignificantobservationsofthechallengeperiod,anditmadeanincrediblemeasureofdifferenceonethatIdidn'tanticipatewouldbeaseffectiveasitwas.KnowingthatIhavetheabilitytoreliablyremoveallstressfrommymindhasmademegladIinvestedthetimeintolearningtheskill.

Meditationtriggeredspontaneousfeelingsofhappiness,bliss(no,seriouslybliss),andtranquilityforaperiodof23hoursfollowingasitinTheDeep.EverytimeIenteredTheDeep,aftersittingIwouldgetupandwalkaroundinwhatIendedupcallingtheforcefield.Evenwhenwalkingoutontothebusycitystreets,itfeltvivdlylikeIhadabubbleofprotectionaroundmethatnothingcouldtouchme.Icantemphasizehowprofoundthisfeelingwasitwas

notjustregularhappinessorcontentment,itputmeintouchwithadeeperstrataofemotionalexperience,thekindofwhichisonlytypicallyencounteredperhapsinfleetinginstantswhilewatchingapicturesquesunset,ortheviewfromanairplane.Thisstatepersistedforhoursatatime.

HappinessanEmergentPropertyoftheStillMind?Iwassurprisedthatinadditiontothecalmingaspectofthesits,whatemergedspontaneouslywashappiness.Thisresultwasinterestingbecauseitraisedthequestionofhowbeingcalm

andbeinghappyarerelatedie,whetherthiskindofhappinesscansimplyemergefrombeingcalmforalongenoughperiodoftime.Inanycase,itwasawonderfulexperienceand,althoughittookmeseveralweekstofirstgetthere,madeeverysitajoy.

TheUnexpected

Meditationdidnothelpmecontrolmystressmuchoutsideofthetimeofsitting.Asidefromaffordingmeafewhoursinsidetheprofoundlysereneforcefieldofthestilledmind,afterIgotupthenextmorningandarrivedattheoffice,thestressesandtumultwerestillthere,andIwasstilljustasaffectedbythemsomeonewouldsaysomethingaggravating,orahoboonthebuswouldbeyellingandscreamingandmymentalandemotionalreactionswerejustasupsettingasthey'vealwaysbeenlivinginthecity.

SerenityNow?ItremindedmeabitoftheofthisSeinfeldclip.IfIwerelivingorworkinginamorepeacefulenvironment,orevenifIdbeenmeditatinginthemorning,perhapsIwouldhavebeenabletokeepthegoodfeelingsgoing,butasitwas,theblissonlylastedsolong.Evenstill,knowingthatIhadeventheabilitytogettoTheDeepmademefeellikeIatleasthadsomedefenseagainstthestressesofeverydaylifethecitywaslessoppressivebecausenowIknewcouldescape.

Meditationmadetheexternalworldseemabitlessimportant.Thiswasasubtleeffect,butalsoworthmentioning,andcouldbeeitherbegoodorbad,dependingonyourresponsibilitiesandgoalsinlife.Theprocessofstillingyourmindhastheeffectofreturningyoutoasortofzeropoint,whichcanactuallybebadif,forexample,therearepressingdecisionsthatyouneedtomake,orifthereissomethingthatyougenuinelyshouldbeworried,upset,orfranticabout.PuttingmymindintoneutralinthiswaymeantthatIoccasionallyhadtoremindmyselfthattherereallywasaworldoutsideofmymeditativeforcefieldthatmightdemandmyattention.OccasionallyIwouldfindmyselflettinglittlethingssliphere&there,ornotworkingasactivelywiththeteamasIfeltIcouldhave.

Itwasnotamajoreffect,butitwasnoticeable.Ishouldnotethatyoucanprobablytweakthemeditativepracticesuchthatyoufocusyourthoughtsonaparticularthingratherthanstillingthemtothezeropoint.Thiswouldlikelyhavetheoppositeeffect,givingyoumorementalcyclestodevotetoyourworkorcreativepursuits,howevertomethatwouldntqualifyasmeditationsomuchasitwouldbeconcentration.

TheReallyUnexpected

Myforeheadcaughtonfire.Noreally.Thiswasthesinglemostremarkableeventoftheentirechallenge,andIhavenoexplanationforit,butwhattookplacewasthatafterabout30days,thecenterofmyforeheadfeltlikeitwasemittingorradiatingwhatIcanonlydescribeakindofheatless,lightlessflame.IcallitaflamebecauseitproducedIsh*tyounotthedistinct,tactilesensationofflickeringlikeacandleoverthesurfaceofmyforehead,tothepointwherewhenitfirstbegan,IactuallygotupandlookedforawindowIthoughtImusthaveleftopen.

Ithoughtitwasaflukeuntilitneverwentaway(!),soafterdays,weeks,andthenmonthsofincreasingintensityandrangeofmotion,IhadtoconcedethatitA)wasnotaheadacheorsideeffectof,forexample,withdrawingfromcaffeine,andB)wasrelatedtothepracticeofmeditation,asthemoreImeditated,overweeks,thestrongeritgot.Beyondthat,Ican'tspeculate.Ithadzerootherapparenteffects,positiveornegative,butpersistedasakindofweirdmeditationexhaustpipe.Afteraroundday60,Ifeltitconstantly,everysecondoftheday,exactlyinthemiddleofmyforehead,pulsinginandoutinanunobjectionablebututterlymystifyingway.

Itactuallypersiststothisday,however,asIeasedoffonmeditatingafterthechallengeperiodwasover,itisnownotasstrongandgoesinandoutofbeingofitsownvolition.Itseasytoignoreanddoesnotimpairmyfocusoraffectmeinanywayitjustsortofis.Still,itisremarkabletomethatithaspersistedforwhatisnow9monthsafterIstoppedmeditatingonadailybasis.TheSGFbooktalksaboutitinmetaphoricalterms,andthefactthatBuddhistandHinduiconography,bothofwhichhavecenturiesoldhistoriesofmeditativepractice,showadotorflameinthesameregionmakesmethinkitisperhapsacommon,benignartifactofpractice.Idcertainlyliketoinvestigateitfurthertoseeifanykindofmeasurementscouldbetakenofit,whethertopicalorviaEEG.(Doesanyonewithequipmentwanttomeasuremyforehead?Imserious!Letmeknow!)Ofcourse,itwouldntsurprisemeifitwassimplypsychosomatic.

Celibacywaspracticallyimpossible.Iprobablyshouldnthavebeenshockedbythisfinding,consideringthatlibidoisanevolutionaryimperativeandall,butitwashumblingtofindthatitwasntpossibleformetogiveupcompletely.Instead,myrepeatedattemptstoremaincelibateforlongerthantwoweekswasactuallyaratherfrighteningexperiencewhichcertainlygaveme

someinsightinto,forexample,thedifficultiestheCatholicChurchhashadwiththeimproperconductofsomeofitspriestsitsimplydidnotseemhealthytoresistthisprocess100%,andputtingguiltontopofitcantbegoodforonesmentalhealth,either.OntheoccasionswhenIdidbreakcelibacy,itwasbecausetheresistancewasactuallycausingmyentiremoodandpersonalitytomorphmeintoanilltemperedbeastofaman,distracted,irritable,andunabletofocus,whichcausedittobeimpossibletoevenenterintoameditativestate.Becauseofthis,Icantrecommendcompletecelibacyunlessyoufindthatithasnonoticeablesideeffects.InsteadIfoundthataweeklyscheduleseemedbalanced.(Yes,TMI,butitsforscience.)