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PREVIOUS
DUSTIN KOSKI MAY 3, 2015
Were so used to classic works of literature being put up on an
intellectual pedestal that
its hard to empathize with the critics who first encountered
them. With little or no hype
surrounding the work, they were able to publish reviews without
the burden of popular
consensuswhich meant that they often ended up dismissing a
masterpiece as complete
garbage.
10The Great Gatsby
While F. Scott Fitzgeralds 1925 work is one of the leading
causes of complaints among
high school students and has a fairly spotty record as far as
film adaptations go, the story
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of how Jay Gatsby threw grand parties in an attempt to draw the
attention of Daisy
Buchanan has captured the imaginations of generations of
readers. Not that there was any
indication of that when the book was first published. Fitzgerald
was extremely
disappointed to find that his masterpiece only sold around
21,000 copies, making the
author roughly the same amount of money as a short story hed
once written. With that in
mind, reviews such as this one from New York Herald Tribune must
have stung more
than normal:
The Great Gatsby is purely ephemeral phenomenon...a literary
lemon meringue.
After his $2,000 advance to write the book, Fitzgerald only made
around $13.00 in Gatsby
royalties during his lifetime. He died in 1940, completely
missing the period when his book
was rediscovered and elevated to the pantheon of American
literature. Even worse, he was
alive to see the 1926 film version. Rarely has such a classic
novel done more to disappoint
the author.
9Leaves Of Grass
Photo credit: poetryfoundation.org
Photo credit: Wikimedia
Photo credit: Petter73
Photo credit: Wikimedia
Photo credit: Wikimedia
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Walt Whitman is one of Americas most esteemed poets and Leaves
Of Grass has become
a touchstone of American literature. This is especially
impressive considering that the first
two editions of the poetry collection were self-published. When
it was finally going to be
professionally published, the American Civil War broke out and
effectively squashed the
third edition. As if that wasnt enough, the books revolutionary
style and frank sexual
content drew considerable ire and furious reviews. Take this
1855 effort from Edgar Allan
Poes archnemesis, Rufus Griswold:
It is impossible to imagine how any mans fancy could have
conceived such a mass of
stupid filth, unless he were possessed of the soul of a
sentimental donkey that had died of
disappointed love.
And that was still just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the
grief Whitmans work brought
him. In 1865, while he was working as a clerk in the Department
of the Interior, he left a
copy of the book on his desk, where his boss chanced upon it and
promptly fired him for
writing such stupid filth. Even in 1882, the book was still
controversial enough to be
banned in Boston as obscene literature. Still, it was probably
received better than any of
our attempts at poetry would be.
8Frankenstein
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Frankenstein grew from one of Mary Shelleys more vivid dreams
into one of the most
significant combinations of science fiction and horror in
literary history. Frankensteins
monster is one of the most popular and tragic creatures ever to
scare an audience, and it
must have been especially frightening when it was published in
1818, since a famous
public demonstration by Giovanni Aldini had recently shown that
something resembling
reanimation could be achieved by electrocuting dead human
tissue. But it seems that not
everyone was impressed, with the Quarterly Review decrying:
A tissue of horrible and disgusting absurdity...Our taste and
our judgement alike revolt
at this kind of writing.
The review goes on to blame the books shortcomings on the
liberal author William Godwin,
who is the patriarch of a literary family whose chief skill is
in delineating the wanderings
of the intellect. Godwin was Mary Shelleys father and she had
dedicated the book to
him, drawing the ire of many conservative critics in the
process. Even a timeless story like
Frankenstein got caught up in petty political squabbling.
7The Gettysburg Address
Like Us
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Abraham Lincolns 1863 tribute to the tens of thousands of Union
soldiers who gave that
last full measure of devotion has become one of the most famous
speeches in history.
Thats partly because its brief length (just 263 words) makes for
easy reading and
memorization in classrooms. But its intrinsic value, both in
terms of historical significance
and use of language, should be evident from a quick read. That
is, unless you were a writer
for the Chicago Times:
The cheeks of every American must tingle with shame as he reads
the silly, flat and
dishwatery utterances.
The word silly was also used by a review in the Harrisburg
Patriot & Union. That would
likely have stung Lincoln more than the Chicago Timess insults,
since Harrisburg was
fairly close to Gettysburg and would have reflected the views of
people whod lived through
the Gettysburg campaign more accurately. Still, 150 years later,
the Patriot & Unions
modern successor would print a full retraction of their original
review. As if they needed
to bother.
6The Grapes Of Wrath
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Ostensibly about the Joad family moving from Oklahoma to
California, John Steinbecks
classic 1936 novel is more like a printed docudrama, finding
plenty of time for vivid
portraits of figures like a mechanically dishonest car dealer.
In a sign of the times, the
bestseller was actually widely banned, burned, and critically
savaged when it was
published. In particular, the way the dust bowl victims are
exploited throughout the book
seemed suspiciously like Communist propaganda to some people.
(Ironically, the book was
briefly banned in the Soviet Union under Joseph Stalin.) This
review in the San Francisco
Examiner is typical of the time:
The arguments are selected from the customary communistic
sources and
arguments...Consistency is not, and any informed reader knows
that it cannot be, a
quality either of the Communistic mind or Communist
propaganda.
The negative buzz couldnt have been all that bad thoughthe book
would go on to receive
one of the most acclaimed Hollywood film adaptations of all
time, just four years after it
was being widely burned.
5Wuthering Heights
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A sprawling, non-chronological romance about the orphaned
Heathcliff pining for the high-
born Catherine, Wuthering Heights was the only book Emily Bronte
wrote (under a male
alias), but it was more than enough to secure her reputation as
a literary great. It has been
adapted into several movies, most notably the 1939 version,
which is still considered one
of the most romantic films ever made. It was also considered a
very edgy and controversial
book in its day, notable for the cruelty many of the characters
display toward each other.
Still, even if it was a bit much for its time, this 1848 review
from Grahams Lady
Magazine reads like a parody of a stuffy 19th-century
reviewer:
How a human being could have attempted such a book as the
present without
committing suicide before he had finished a dozen chapters, is a
mystery. It is a compound
of vulgar depravity and unnatural horrors.
Grahams Lady Magazine is now most notable for briefly being
edited by Edgar Allan Poe,
and for being one of the highest-paying magazines of the day.
There seems to be no
indication that the critic was being satirical in such a
hysterical denunciation of Brontes
novel.
4Moby-Dick
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Herman Melvilles 1851 classic is very different in print than
its many adaptations and
cultural osmosis would lead you to believe. The revenge-driven
Captain Ahab, generally
considered much more compelling than the protagonist, Ishmael,
doesnt appear until 28
chapters in. The dense, digressive, literary prose is likely to
be dismissed as boring or
gratuitous by readers more used to genre fiction. And even in
its day, the book attracted
prominent bad reviews, such as the one printed in both the
London Spectator and the New
York International:
Where it takes the shape of narrative or dramatic fiction, it is
phantasmalan attempted
description of what is impossible in nature and without
probability in art; it repels the
reader instead of attracting him.
It is also worth noting that Melville was, in this early regard
at least, hampered by
technology. Another portion of the review mocked the book for
having a first-person
narrator even though all the characters died at the end. Of
course, Ishmael is actually the
only survivor, but this is revealed in an epilogue that was
chopped off the end of the
original UK edition by a printing error. Although the reviewer
might have considered that
cut a good start rather than a defect.
3The Raven
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In 1848, the publication of The Raven made Edgar Allan Poe
famous in America, but still
only netted him the standard $15. It also drew a particularly
scathing review from the
magazine Southern Literary. Apparently, the writer was so
incensed that Poe described
the protagonist as being scared by such things as a rap at a
door and fluttering curtains,
he reached a conclusion that sounds more like the sort of user
rating that youd see on
Amazon than a 19th-century literary review:
It seems as if the author wrote under the influence of
opium.
The review did have some grudging praise for Poes use of rhyme
and meter, but the
insistence that the events of the poem could only affect a child
frightened to the verge of
idiocy by terrible ghost stories make a stronger impression. At
least one literary authority
from Poes time was determined to make sure his horror
masterpiece was nevermore
considered frightening.
2Winnie The Pooh
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By now, stories of the silly old bear and his dim-witted friends
in the Hundred Acre Wood
have enjoyed nearly a century of popularity in numerous formats,
even though author A. A.
Milne eventually came to regret writing the series. But his
hatred of the books was no
match for that of Dorothy Parker, who reviewed 1928s The House
At Pooh Corner for the
New Yorker under the pen name Constant Reader. She was
especially incensed by a
passage where Pooh announces he has added a tiddely pom to his
favorite song in order
to make it more hummy. According to Parker:
And it is that word hummy, my darlings, that marks the first
place in The House At Pooh
Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Some fans of Parkers have felt the need to explain this
sentiment by observing that she
was going through a particularly rough time when she wrote the
review and would have
hated any book with the slightest hint of sappiness. Others have
noted that her articles as
Constant Reader were more like comedy routines than serious
reviews. So fans of Pooh
need not feel defensive over Parkers harmless words. On the
other hand, its also possible
that The House At Pooh Corner was treacle.
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1The Work Of William Shakespeare
One of the first surviving comments on Shakespeares work comes
from the popular
Elizabethan writer Robert Greene. It was written in 1592, when
Shakespeare had already
had several plays performed. Except for perhaps Richard III and
The Taming Of The Shrew,
none of them were the classics that the person on the street
would come up with if you
asked them to name a Shakespeare play today. Nevertheless,
Greene was astonishingly
dismissive:
There is an upstart crow, beautified with our feathers, that
with his tigers heart wrapped
in a players hide supposes he is as well able to bombast out a
blank verse as the best of
you; and, being an absolute Johannes Factotum, is in his own
conceit the only Shake-scene
in a country.
For good measure, Greenes pamphlet went on to insult Christopher
Marlowe. Greene died
before his harsh words were published, which spared him a rather
unpleasant response.
Shakespeare and Marlowe were already so popular that the
pamphlet sparked widespread
outrage, to the point where Greenes editor, Henry Chettle, had
to publish a groveling
retraction apologizing to the pair of them. (Greenes publisher,
sensing the way the wind
was blowing, had added a clause to the pamphlet saying that he
took no responsibility,
and was only printing it upon the peril of Henrye Chettle.) It
seems unlikely that
many writers working today could motivate a fan response like
that.
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Dustin Koski hopes all negative reviews of his short story Sarah
Cant Be Real will become
novelties once it achieves classic status.
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64 Comments Listverse Login
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Hillyard 8 hours ago
A bad review is just the critic saying I didn't like this. It
all boils down to does the reviewer
like the genere, the author etc. I've read books, watched movies
that were panned by the
critics and loved them, I've read critically acclaimed books,
seen movies recommended by
every critic in the world and thought they were shit. The only
critic that anyone needs to
listen to is themselves.
11
Reply
Jude The Dude 4 hours ago> Hillyard
I agree with that. They're pretty useless and if I want to know
what a movie is about
to see if I like it I just read a small summary of it. I have no
need for little men with big
words to tell me what to read, watch, or listen to.
2
CesarFelipe 2 hours ago> Hillyard
Well maybe, but that doesn't mean people should go read Twilight
or 50 Shades of
Grey themselves because they don't believe critics when they say
they suck... I
know I won't....
Recommend
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Reply 1
Reply
Hillyard an hour ago> CesarFelipe
If you know that the genre is not to your tastes then just
ignore it. You won't
see me reading a Harequin Romance novel or listening to rap
music
because I already know I won't enjoy it.
1
Reply
percynjpn 2 hours ago> Hillyard
Hear him!
1
Reply
Lead Faun 4 hours ago> Hillyard
Exactly, it's the reviewers opinion, and wether or not you
thought the review is
truthful is your opinion.
1
Reply
Moon Musician 6 hours ago> Hillyard
Wow!
You are now honored with the statement of the century award.
1
Reply
inconspicuous detective 8 hours ago
everybody's a critic. this is why i pay them no mind. you have
to try it yourself to make a
judgement call.
if you're familiar with literature even on a general level,
you'll notice that so much of it is luck.
me being into fantasy lit, i can tell you right now that
something like harry potter was one of
so, so many wizard or witch tales that could easily have been
the one in the garbage can by
the editor's desk, while the book just after it got published
and was turned into million-dollar
blockbusters. it's some skill and tons of luck to win that
draw.
6
Reply
OldBoris 6 hours ago> inconspicuous detective
I tried to write a book once. Then it turned out it already
existed. It's called Camp of
the Saints, and it was published before I was born.
Reply
lonelydisco an hour ago> OldBoris
Your only chance of it getting a movie adaption is if you add
lots, and lots of
porn.
1
percynjpn 2 hours ago> OldBoris
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Reply
percynjpn 2 hours ago> OldBoris
Talk about coincidental - what 'ya gonna do? Was a shame,
anyway.
1
Reply
Vlad Dracula 9 hours ago
Anyone who criticizes Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe's anything
is dead to me. DEAD
TO ME!!!
4
Reply
Hillyard 8 hours ago> Vlad Dracula
Poe's protagonist in 'The Tell-Tale Heart' is a wimpy little
turd that couldn't deal with
one ghostly heart/bad conscience long enough to fool the idiot
cops that would have
let him go scot free. He deserved to hang. And I loved the
story.
6
Reply
Vlad Dracula 7 hours ago> Hillyard
For a minute I was offended (dunno why), but totally agree now.
If only he
waited a little longer, maybe bit his lip and didn't think about
it would he have
not been dramatic and ruined everything. Poe doesn't work that
way though,
I guess.
3
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> Hillyard
Probably OCD-related.
Reply
Moon Musician 9 hours ago> Vlad Dracula
Don't forget Lovercraft.
5
Reply
Arjan Hut 8 hours ago> Moon Musician
Yes Lovecraft is DEAD TOO!
4
Reply
Hillyard 8 hours ago> Arjan Hut
Is he? Or is he sitting at Cthulhu's side waiting for the proper
time to
return?
6
OldBoris 6 hours ago> Moon Musician
Ah, yes, H.P. Lovecraft. The man who took the ol' racism to new
heights.
"When, long ago, the gods created Earth
In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth.
The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;
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Reply
The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;
Yet were they too remote from humankind.
To fill the gap, and join the rest to Man,
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan.
A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger."
2
Reply
Moon Musician 6 hours ago> OldBoris
He took imagination to new heights. He created the great race of
yith
and cthulhu.
3
Reply
lonelydisco an hour ago> Moon Musician
MASTER RACE
1
Reply
lonelydisco 7 hours ago> Vlad Dracula
One of Shakespeare's most famous work is his collection of
sonnets.
They vary from definitely classic to yucky-yucky.
3
Reply
Mike 7 hours ago> Vlad Dracula
Shakespeare was the Beatles of playwrights in his day. A lot of
the criticism directed
towards him wasn't entirely unjust. And not all of his plays are
created equal. My
favorite play is Othello.
1
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> Vlad Dracula
So you mean you're truly nuts?
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> Vlad Dracula
Totally?
Reply
percynjpn 2 hours ago
All of which typifies the arrogance and usual
self-aggrandizement that is the foundation of
most Western "journalism" - both then and now.
1
lonelydisco an hour ago> percynjpn
Well, not most, but ... okay, most.
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Reply
Well, not most, but ... okay, most.
1
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> lonelydisco
Let's go for about a third or so, then.
1
Reply
lonelydisco an hour ago> percynjpn
How generous.
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> lonelydisco
Baah!
Reply
lonelydisco 14 minutes ago> percynjpn
Humbug?
1 Show 1 new reply
Reply
El 5 hours ago
The definition of a critic, 'a person who judges the merits of
literary or artistic works' or, to
paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, 'a person that has a million reasons
for failure, but not a single
excuse.'
It seems that the second kind of critics made the original
reviews of the works of literature
on this list!
1
Reply
Moon Musician 9 hours ago
I never really get the Great Gatsby, it is bizarre. O_O
1
Reply
Big Dick Jerry 7 hours ago
8# Well the critics are obviously sexist since they don't like a
book written by a woman.
Reply
Arjan Hut 5 hours ago> Big Dick Jerry
Women write books?
5
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> Arjan Hut
Heresy!!
5
Hillyard an hour ago> Arjan Hut
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Reply
I've never heard of such a thing.
4
Reply
Moon Musician an hour ago> Hillyard
Yeah, me too.
2
Reply
Mike 7 hours ago
Grapes of Wrath is, indeed, communist propaganda. Hollywood
embraced it because it
was infested with communist ideas. Communism was trendy among
authors and film
makers at the time. Still is, actually. And though you can read
it any way you want, it
renders itself to Marxist literary theory astonishingly well. I
hate the book, but not because of
that. I just don't find it very interesting.
Reply
El 4 hours ago> Mike
'The Grapes of Wrath' is a communist propaganda as much as
'Harry Potter' is
history! The events described were very real, and much worse
than most people
think!
2
Reply
Mooncat 8 hours ago
Literature critics are people who can't write themselves, so
they judge the people who can.
Reply
lonelydisco 7 hours ago> Mooncat
It's easy to demonize critics, partly because many of them are
demons.
3
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> lonelydisco
Too hard on yourself, my dear - but fair!
2
Reply
lonelydisco an hour ago> percynjpn
Demons are often fetishized. I am not so lucky.
3
Reply
percynjpn an hour ago> lonelydisco
That seems slightly disappointing, in a way - somehow. .
1
Reply
lonelydisco an hour ago> percynjpn
That is how people react to my face.
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percynjpn 22 minutes ago> lonelydisco
Well, seeing how the face you display is in constant flux, it's
a bit
difficult to have a definitive reaction. But in any event
"cutie" usually
comes to mind -*ahem* - as does DANGER!! So it would seem to
be a good balance. 'Night!
2
Reply
lonelydisco 15 minutes ago> percynjpn
You think "transsexual John Stamos" is cute?
Reply
percynjpn 11 minutes ago> lonelydisco
Good question - I have no idea who John Stamos is; sorry.
Reply
Red_Ruffensor 5 minutes ago> Mooncat
It's like that with everything. As the saying goes, "Those who
can't do, teach. Those
who can't teach, teach teachers."
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