10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

4/24/2015 10CommunicationSecretsofGreatLeaders

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10communicationsecretsgreatleadersdrtravisbradberry 1/46

10CommunicationSecretsofGreatLeaders

Apr22,2015 117,363 2,086 305

Nooneeverbecameagreatleaderwithoutfirstbecomingagreatcommunicator.

Greatleadersconnectwithpeopleonanemotionalleveleverytimetheyspeak.

Dr.TravisBradberryCoauthorEmotionalIntelligence2.0&Presidentat

TalentSmart

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Theirwordsinspireotherstoachievemorethantheyeverthoughtpossible.

Greatcommunicatorsareintentionalaboutit,andthereare10secretstheyrelyontodeliverapowerfulmessage.Putthesesecretstoworkinyourcommunicationandwatchyourinfluencesoar.

1.TheyKnowTheirAudience

Greatcommunicatorsdontworryaboutsoundingimportant,showingofftheirexpertise,orboostingtheirownegos.Instead,theythinkaboutwhatpeopleneedtohear,andhowtheycandeliverthismessagesothatpeoplewillbeabletohearit.Thisdoesntmeanthatleaderstellpeoplewhattheywanttohear.Quitetheoppositetheytellpeoplewhatsimportantforthemtoknow,evenifitsbadnews.

2.TheyAreExpertsInBodyLanguage

Greatcommunicatorsareconstantlytrackingpeoplesreactionstotheirmessage.Theyarequicktopickuponcueslikefacialexpressionsandbodylanguagebecausetheyknowthisistheonlyfeedbackmanypeoplewillgivethem.Greatcommunicatorsusethisexpertisetotailortheirmessageontheflyandadjusttheircommunicationstyleasneeded.

3.TheyAreHonest

Thebestleadersknowthatforcommunicationtobeeffectiveithastobereal.Theycanthavepeopleparsingeverywordtryingtoseparatefactfromspin.Whengreatcommunicatorscantsharecertaininformation,theycomerightoutandsayitbecausemakeshift,halftruthanswersbreeddistrustandanxiety.Ingoodtimesandbad,honestybuildstrust.

4.TheyAreAuthentic

Greatcommunicatorsdonttrytobesomeonetheyrenotjustbecausetheyvesteppedbehindapodium.TheresareasonMarkZuckerbergpresentedFacebooktoinvestorsinahoodieandjeans.Greatleadersknowthatwhentheystaytrueto



whotheyare,peoplegravitatetotheirmessage.Theyalsoknowtheoppositehappenswhenleadersputonanact.

5.TheySpeakWithAuthority

Greatcommunicatorsdonttrytocovertheirbacksbybeingambiguous,wishywashy,orunassertive.Instead,theysticktheirnecksoutandspeakverydirectlyabouthowthingsareandhowtheyneedtobe.

6.TheySpeakToGroupsAsIndividuals

Leadersrarelyhavetheluxuryofspeakingtoonepersonatatime.Whetheritsahuddlearoundaconferencetableoranoverflowingauditorium,greatleadersknowhowtoworktheroomandmakeeverysinglepersonfeelasifheorsheisbeingspokentodirectly.

7.TheyHaveEars(AndTheyUseThem)

Greatleadersknowthatcommunicationisatwowaystreetandwhattheyhearisoftenmoreimportantthanwhattheysay.Whensomeoneelseisspeaking,greatcommunicatorsarentthinkingaheadandplanningwhattheyllsaynext.Instead,theyreactivelylistening,fullyfocusedonunderstandingtheotherpersonsperspective.

8.TheyUsePhrasesLikeItsMyFault,IWasWrong,andImSorry

Whengreatleadersmakeamistake,theyadmititrightaway.Theydontwaitforsomeoneelsetofindandpointouttheirblunder.Theymodelaccountabilityfortheirwordsandactions,evenwhentheycouldhaveeasilygottenawaywiththemistake.Andtheydoitmatteroffactly,withoutdramaorfalsehumility.

9.TheySolicitFeedback

Thebestcommunicatorsneverassumethatthemessagepeopleheardistheexactsameonetheyintendedtodeliver.Theycheckintoverifythattheirmessagewas



understoodcorrectly,and,ifitwasnot,theydontblametheaudience.Instead,theychangethingsupandtryagain.

10.TheyreProactive

Leaderswiththebestcommunicationskillsdontwastetimeplayingcatchup.Theyrequicktoheadofftherumormillbysharingbadnewsinatimelymanner.Theyalsogiveclear,concisegoalsanddirectionssopeopledontwastetheirtimeheadinginthewrongdirection.

BringingItAllTogether

Greatcommunicatorsstandoutfromthecrowd.Theyrehonest.Theyreauthentic.Theylisten.Theyexcelincommunicationbecausetheyvalueit,andthatsthecriticalfirststeptobecomingagreatleader.

Whatotherstrategiesmakeforgreatcommunication?Pleaseshareyourthoughtsonleadershipandcommunicationinthecommentssectionbelow,asIlearnjustasmuchfromyouasyoudofromme.

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR:

Dr.TravisBradberryistheawardwinningcoauthorofthe#1bestsellingbook,EmotionalIntelligence2.0,andthecofounderofTalentSmart,theworld'sleadingproviderofemotionalintelligencetestsandtraining,servingmorethan75%ofFortune500companies.Hisbestsellingbookshavebeentranslatedinto25languagesandareavailableinmorethan150countries.Dr.Bradberryhaswrittenfor,orbeencoveredby,Newsweek,BusinessWeek,Fortune,Forbes,FastCompany,Inc.,USAToday,TheWallStreetJournal,TheWashingtonPost,andTheHarvardBusinessReview.



Ifyou'dliketolearnhowtoincreaseyouremotionalintelligence(EQ),considertakingtheonlineEmotionalIntelligenceAppraisaltestthat'sincludedwiththeEmotionalIntelligence2.0book.Yourtestresultswillpinpointwhichofthebook's66emotionalintelligencestrategieswillincreaseyourEQthemost.

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NikitaSkuratovExpertSAPPMandonemore:11.Beyourself.Trueintegrityrequireslearningtobeyourselfthesameselfatalltimesandwithallpeople.Weveallseenthepeoplewhoshiftlikeachameleontobethepersontheyconsiderfittingforeveryoccasion.Thesuaveandentertainingpersonwhoislifeofthepartyandthengoeshometoyellataspouse.Thebosswhoshineslikeastarfromthepodiumandaftertheprogramisovershoutsabuseathisstaff.Thepersonwhofeignsreligiouspietyorpoliticalconservatisminfrontoftheparentorbossandthenbecomesadifferentpersonentirelyfortherestoftheweek.Greatcommunicationrequiresthatyoulosetheattitudesyouputonlikeacoatfromyourclosetandlearntoexistasthesameauthenticandintegratedpersoninthepresenceofeveryoneelseinyourlife.Whoisthatperson?Ifyouarentsureorthequestionissuddenlygivingyoupause,youhaveworktodo.

Like(7) Reply 1dayago

LisaLand,TanvirAhmed[PMP,ITIL,PRINCE2],EmmanouelaGavala,+4

EvelineBrownstein,MSHRMSPHRSHRMSCPDirectorHRandComplianceatTwoRiversTitleCompany,LLCGreatleadersdonotpromotehierarchy,butrathershowthattheyareasmuchapartoftheteamaseventhemostjuniorteammemberandtheytreateveryonewithrespect,regardlessoftheirpositioninthecompany,orinthecommunity.

Like(5) Reply(1) 1dayago

LisaLand,TanvirAhmed[PMP,ITIL,PRINCE2],Vasanthamugi.,+2

10CommunicationSecretsofGreatLeadersDr.TravisBradberry

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mamadoudiarrasalemanagerroadleersarlgreatEvelineBrownstein,MSHRMSPHRSHRMSCP

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HarryMcduffeeFormorInternationalIndependentDistributorTheyUsePhrasesLikeItsMyFault,IWasWrong,andImSorryNevereverbeafraidofbeinginthewrong."Toerrishuman,ToforgiveisDivine."


IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,andCindyZhang

CindyZhangStudentatSanMateoHighSchoolGreatadvice!Afterall,wecanalwayslearnfromourmistakes,andifwedenyanymistakes,wecan'timprove.

Like(1) 1dayago

IvonneTeoh

LisaLandRegisteredNurse,TelemetryLOL!Isaidallthewords"I'msorry,""Iwaswrong,"and"Itwasmyfault"today!Sometimesbeinga"leader"makesmefeellikesuchaloser!Ireallycareaboutmytraineesandreallywantthemtosucceed.Itrysohardtodothethingsyoulistedinyourpost.Isometimesfeelliketheworstnurseever!Ididn'tknowthatanswer,orIgavethewronganswer,ormymessagewasunclearandresultedintotalmiscommunication!!!Ahh!!!Thankyousomuchforyourpost.Thebooklooksveryappealing.


KarenCreighton,IvonneTeoh,andPhelekwaNyovane

IvonneTeohInternationallyRecog.SocialMedia/LinkedInExpert&Coach.TotalNetwork31MillionLisaLand,sayingyou'resorryshowsyou'rebigenough,strongenoughtoknow&dotherightthing.Notaloseratall!Changewhatyousaytoyourself(inside)&alsooutside.Youareagreatnurse,it'satoughjob&Isaluteyou!

Like(1) 1dayago



LisaLand

SanetteSmithPeerRecoveryWorkeratCommunityFirstInternationalLtd.Excellentarticle!Ihaveagreatmanagerwhoappliestheabovepointsallthetime.Whatanamazingwomanandwhataprivilegeformetolearnsomuchfromher.IfeelvaluedandappreciatedandasifwhatIdocontributestotheteam'ssuccess.Thisisagreatmotivatorforme.Thanksfortakingthetroubletoputthisarticletogether.Regards.


KarenCreighton,IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,+1

VioletaBalhasCommunicationspecialist|LABpractitioner|Wordwrangler|Storyteller|Author|PurveyorofbrilliantideasGoodlist,towhichIwouldaddempathy.Youneedempathytotemper#3,beinghonest.Honestywithoutempathycanbeahorrible,abused(andabusive)thing.


LisaLand,CindyZhang,andChristopherGarrett

MarkAllenCEOat3DMedia,MarketingandAdvertisingGreatarticleDrB.One'slevelofeffectivecommunication(verbalandwritten)willultimatelydeterminetheirlevelofsuccess.Aninterestingsidenoteisthesameistruewithinternalcommunication


LisaLand,JamesL.,andJackWagner

LisaLandRegisteredNurse,TelemetryMark,Icannotagreemore!IhavemadeaconsciousefforttoimprovemycommunicationskillsbecauseItoobelieveeffectivecommunicationissovitallyimportant!Seriously,Iamonamission!

Like 1dayago

Dr.TravisBradberry AUTHORCoauthorEmotionalIntelligence2.0&PresidentatTalentSmartVera,you'reabsolutelyright!Greatcommunicatorsareoftennotgreatleaders,butit'sveryraretofindatrulygreatleaderwhoisalsonotagreatcommunicator.

Like(3) Reply 2daysago



LisaLand,JamesL.,andVaroonAkolkar

StevenSchrieverContactCenterLeader|InsideSalesTeamManager|CustomerExperienceExcellenceAdvocate|EntrepreneurTheterm'authenticleader'comestomindwhenIreadthis.


IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,andCindyZhang

MargaritaBuffel,PHR,SHRMCPHRManageratThomsonReutersOneofthemosteyeandearopeningsreadsinquitesometime.Takeamomenttotrulylisten.Youwillsurprisedatwhatyouactuallyhear.


DanielMethner,IvonneTeoh,andLisaLand

MichaelKelleyArmyAviationMissionSurvivabilityProgramManagerIthinkacrucialaspectofgreatleadersisbeingabletoturnthingstheydidwrongordidn'tdoatallintoopportunitiestovalidatewhysomethingneedstobedifferentinthefuture.Thebeliefthatsomeoneelsecanlearnfromthoseinstancesandbecomemoresuccessfulbecauseofthem.


IvonneTeohandLisaLand

IvonneTeohInternationallyRecog.SocialMedia/LinkedInExpert&Coach.TotalNetwork31MillionInNLP,wecallitfeedback,notfailure.Failurehasstrongemotionalchargeformanypeoplewhichtheyresistinadmittingtheydidsomethingwrong.That'swhyapologisingissohardthen.Mistakesaremadeallthetime,noticethem,admitthemhumbly,moveon&improvelikeyousayMichaelKelley!

Like(1) 1dayago

MichaelKelley

IvetteK.CaballeroEntrepreneurial&StrategicMarketingCommunicationsProfessionalNotallleadersaregreatcommunicatorsandnotallgreatcommunicatorsare



leaders.


MiguelAngelPalma,JamesL.,andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC

SuzanneDuncanStrategicSportMarketingExpert/GlobalAcoountDirector/CorporateEventManagementIlovedthispostTravis.Itmakessensethatofyourlist,therearemany"goodleaders"thatI'veencounteredthat"almost"fitthebill,butfallshortwhenitcomestobeing"accountable"eitherbywayofapologizing,admittingmistakesorbysolicitingfeedbackinordertoimprove.IguessasMichaelBiebersaidsowell"whythegreatonesaresofondlyremembered"andrevered!


MiguelAngelPalma,JamesL.,andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC

DeniseR.MyersExecutiveCoachforWomanLeaders(CPCC)Careaboutyourpeople......morethanwhatthey"candonext"foryou!Outstandingarticleandthissubjectcouldnotbecoveredenough........thankyou!


JamesL.andSuzanneDuncan

MichaelBieberSalesManagerHealthcareTechnologyGreatpost...wowyou'vecompiledatalllistofsecretsthatseemtoevademostspeakers...guessthat'swhythetrulygreatonesaresofondlyremembered!


JamesL.andSuzanneDuncan

PramodKumarSrivastavaCEOIManagementConsultant|Thinker|Writer|Speaker|&CosmosCitizenOnlyonesecret"DilSe",Imean,fromheart.


JamesL.andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC

DuncanGriceDeputyHeadofCollegeatDulwichCollegeSuzhouAnexcellentarticle,succinctlyput.Ihavealwaysfoundthataskingforpeople's



opinions/ideastobeverypositive.Whetheracteduponornot,feedingbacktothemisthekey.Whenstaff,studentsandparentsknowthattheyhavebeenheardtheyaregenerallyhappy.Youalsogetabankofsomesuperideastohelpdevelopyourorganisation.



DiaRossidesPhDStudent,LeadershipGreatleadershavesituationalawarenessfirstandforemost.Theyunderstandtheculturetheyareleadingincludingitsunspokennormsandvalues.Greatleadersinfluenceothersbyappealingtotheirselfinterests.Thisrequiresadeepunderstandingofone'sfollowers.Greatleadersareeffectivecommunicatorswhentheyassumetheycoach,mentorandsupportoutofagenuinedesiretodevelopothers.Greatleadersareeffectivecommunicatorswhentheyarticulateacompellingvisionwithapositiveemotionaltoneinvitinginputandcooperationfromeveryoneontheirteam.(Coleman&Boyatzis,2008)



DiaRossidesPhDStudent,LeadershipAsIunderstanditeffectiveleadershipisbuiltonSOCIALintelligencewhichisnotequivalenttojustmeresocialskills.Assitionally,itgoesbeyondEMOTIONALintelligencewhichisgroundedinpsychologytheory.Socialintelligencehasbeenexplainedasasetofinterpersonalcompetenciesbuiltonspecificneuralcircuitsthatinspireotherstobeeffective.ThisdefinitionhasaBIOLOGICALunderpinningandinvolvesmirrorneurons,spindlecellsandoscillatorsthatcanreinforceneurallinksbetweenleadersandfollowers.



DanielSjgrenManagingDirectoratCarlsbergGroupGreatarticledemonstratingthatleadershipisnotdifficultbutitneedstobedeliberatewiththeaudienceinfocus.WhenIcoachpeopleindifficultsituationsIalwaysaskthemhowtheythinktheotherpartyfeels.Itisstrikinghowweoftenforgettothinkaboutthemostimportantpersoninanycommunication...theotherperson.





There'sOnlyOneGuaranteedWaytoBeMoreConfident,andThisIsIt

Apr23,2015 250,392 1,295 277

Confidenceisnotsomethingyoueitherhaveoryoudon't.

Takeme.StickmeonabicycleatalocalgrouprideandI'mconfident.I'mselfassured.IfeellikeIbelong(which,ifyouthinkaboutit,isanicedefinitionofconfidence.)

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JeffHadenGhostwriter,Speaker,Inc.MagazineContributing

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Butstickmeonabicycleatagranfondosurroundedbythefastguysandsuddenlyeverythingchanges.I'minstantlyshyandinsecure.Ifeellikeaverysmallfishwayoutofhiswater.

Unfortunatelyformeandmaybeforyouconfidenceismuchmoresituationalthanabsolute.Insomesettingwe'reselfassuredinothers,notsomuch.

That'sprobablynatural...andthat'sprobablywhymanytipsforhowtofeelconfidentoftenfallshort.Muchofthatadvicecanbeboileddownto,"Youcanbeconfidentallyouhavetodoisdecidetobeconfident."

Evidentlyit'seasy:suppressnegativethoughtsandrepeatsomereallycoolselfaffirmingstatementsandvoila!I'mlikeDonaldTrump.

Ornot.

ABetterWaytoThinkAboutConfidence

AccordingtoDr.TomasChamorroPremuzic,aprofessorofbusinesspsychologyatUniversityCollegeLondonandauthoroftheoutstandingbookConfidence:OvercomingLowSelfEsteem,Insecurity,andDoubt,thereisanotherwaytolookatsupposedlyconfidencebuildingselftalk:

Forexample,ifyouarefeelingworthlessandtrytosuppressthosefeelings,youwillneverbeabletodowhatittakestoimprove.If,ontheotherhand,youcometotermswithyournegativeselfviewsandacceptthefactthatyouarenotasgoodasyouwouldliketobeand,especially,thatyouareunhappywithyourself,youwillbeabletofocusonwhatyouneedtodotoimprove.

Dissatisfactionisthemotherofchange,andonlychangecandriveimprovement.

Thechoicebetweenthetwooptionsisanobrainer.Deliberateattemptstoincreaseyourconfidenceareboundtoresultinfailureanddemoralizeyou,whereasattemptstoimproveyourperformancecanresultinnotjustcompetencegainsbutalsoagenuineboosttoyourconfidence.Theanswertothequestion,"Whatshould



Idoaboutmylowconfidence?"canhardlybesimpler:

Embraceit.

Thinkaboutit.Lackofconfidenceisn'ttheproblemlackofconfidenceisactuallythemeanstoasolution.Whenyouactuallyacceptyourweakpoints,yourflaws,andyourimperfections,thenyoucanmotivateyourselftomakechangesandimprove.

Inshort,hidefromyourweaknessesandyou'llalwaysbeweak.Acceptyourweaknessesandthenworktoimprovethemandyou'lleventuallybestrongerandmoreconfident.

Sowhatistheonlyrecipeforfeelingmoreconfident?

Success.

Improvementbreedsconfidence.Competencebreedsconfidence.Successinyourfield,orsometimesinanypursuitbreedsconfidence.

Takemeagain.YearsagoIwasinvitedtospeaktoanaudienceofaroundathousandpeople.Awesome,right?Well,maybenot.Ihadneverspokentoanaudiencelargerthanabout150peoplebefore.PlusIwasaskedtospeakonatopicIdidn'tknowthatmuchabout.

Evenso,theopportunitywastoogoodtopassup...

...andIbombed.

Badly.

Oh,everyonetoldmeIdidfine.(Toaspeaker,beingtoldyouwere"fine"islikeateenagerbeingtoldyouhaveagoodpersonality.)Iwantedtobelievethem.Iwantedtoignoremyfeelingsofincompetence,disappointment,andfailure.



AndthenIrealizedIwouldnevergetbetterifIdidn't1)acceptthefactIhadfailedand2)workhardtoimprove.SoIwentbacktothedrawingboard.Iwrangledinvitationstolocalcivicgroups.Ispoketostudentsatlocalcolleges.IforcedmyselftospeakontopicsoutsidemywheelhousesoIcouldlearnthemechanicsofcraftingagreathookandagreatstory.SometimesIdidwell,sometimesIdidbadlybutovertimeIgainedskillandcompetence.

Andconfidence.

AmIstillnervousbeforeIstepoutinfrontofbigcrowds?Ohhellyeah.I'mahotmessofinsecurity.ButIcanworkthroughthosefeelingsnotbecauseIengageinalotofhappyhorse(manure)selftalkbutbecauseIknowI'vebeenthere,donethat,andcandoitagain.

I'mconfident,becauseIhavesuccessinmypocket.

YetI'malsoinsecureenoughtoalwayswanttogetbetter.

EvenUnrelatedSuccessHelps

Oddlyenough,successinonepursuityieldsgreaterconfidenceinotherareasoflife.

Backtomybicycleexample:ThefirstmajorgranfondoIrodewas100mileslongandincludedover11,000feetofclimbingoverfourmountains(twoofthoseclimbsondirt/gravelroads.)Itwaslong.Itwasendless.Itwasphysically(andwillpowery)harderthananythingIhadeverdone.ButIfinishedit.

AndevenweeksafterwardIgenerallyfeltmoreconfident.Iworriedlessaboutwhatpeoplethoughtofme.Ihaddonesomethinghuge,atleastformeanditliftedmeforalongtime.

That'sbecausewhileconfidencemaybesituational,somedegreeofconfidencecanalsospillover.Whenyoufeelgoodaboutyourselfinonewaywhenyouachievesomedegreeofsuccessinoneaspectofyourlifeyoutendtofeelbetter



aboutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Afterall,ifyoucandoonethingwell,youcandolotsofthingswell.

Allyouhavetodoisworkatit.

HowtoBeMoreCompetentandThereforeMoreConfident

Soforgettheselftalkandpsychoanalysis.It'sallaboutaction.Here'sTomasagain:

Mostpeopleliketheideaofbeingexceptional,butnotenoughtodowhatittakestogetthere...everybodysaystheywanttobeslim,healthy,attractive,andrich,butfewpeoplearewillingtodowhatittakestoattainthosethings,whichsuggeststheydon'treallywantthosethingsasmuchastheysayorthink.

PaulArden,formercreativedirectorofSaatchi&Saatchi,sumsthisupnicelybyexplainingthattypicallywhenwesaywe"want"something,weactuallyjustmeanwewanttohaveit,butwithnoimplicitassumptionthatwe'rewillingtodoanyworktogetthere.Inreality,wantingsomethingshouldequatewithbeingpreparedtotakethenecessarystepstoachieveit.Ifyouareseriousaboutyourgoals,thenyouwilldowhateverittakestoattainthemyourconfidenceissecondary.

Whatmattersisthedesireyouhavetoattempttoachieveyourgoals.

Sodon'tsayyoulackconfidence.Allofuslackconfidence.Allofushaveinsecurities,doubts,fears...allofus.

Justpickagoal,agoalyoutrulywanttoachieve,andtakeacleareyedlookatyourweaknessesnotsoyou'llfeellessconfident,butsoyoucandetermineexactlywhatyouneedtoworkon.

Thengettowork.Celebratesmallsuccesses.Analyzeyourweaknesses.Keepgoing.

Asyougainskillyou'llalsogainafeelingofgenuineconfidence,onethatcanneverbetakenawaybecauseyou'veearnedit.



IalsowriteforInc.com:

10OrdinaryBeliefsofExtraordinarilySuccessfulPeople

HowtoBeMoreCharismatic:10Tips

10BodyLanguageSecretsofHighlySuccessfulPeople

9EssentialHabitsofExtremelyEffectivePeople

7ThingsRemarkablyHappyPeopleDoMoreOften

Checkoutmybookofpersonalandprofessionaladvice,TransForm:DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,Business,Relationships,andLifeOneSimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversionhere,Kindleversionhere,Nookversionhere.)

Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'llrefundyourmoney.

Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...andeverythingtogain.

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JamesAltucherEntrepreneur,Started&soldseveralcos,Author11books(latest"ThePowerofNo"),AngelInv

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Apr23,2015 52,626 864 195

Ifeelinadequate.Andthere'snotmuchIcandoaboutit.Orevenwanttodoaboutit.Iactuallylikethefeeling.

IhadalunchtodaywithaguywhoworkedinthemailroomatHannahBarberawhichmadeallmycartoonfavoritesfromthe70s:TheFlintstones,ScoobyDoo,TheJetsons,andsoon.

HeusedtopitchideaseverydaytoJoeBarbera."IwasworkinginthemailroombutIkeptcomingupwithideasforcartoons.IwouldsendthemuptoJoeBarberaandIhadnoideaifhewouldlikethemornot.TheneventuallyhepulledmeoverandIstartedhelpingonallthescripts."

Imentionedsomeofmyfavoritecartoonsfromthe70s."YouknowthatonewithScoobyDooandtheHarlemGlobetrotters?"Isaid."Iwroteallofthose,"hesaid.

"WhataboutSpaceGhost?"

"Iwrotethat.

"WhatabouttheJetsons?""Wroteit."

Andsoon.Impressiveguy.Hekilledhimselfatonethingfor30yearsandwrotealltheseclassicsIgrewupon.

I'vemetorinterviewedsomanypeopleinthelastyear.Inthelastfiveyears.Inthelast25years.Peoplewhohaveamazedme.ItrytolearnfromthemandsometimesIcanlearnalittlebit.

WhenImeetsomeoneItrytolearnonethingthatIwillneverforget.Itaddsup.

Likehowsomeonegotinspiredbyapenciltobuildahundredschoolsinthirdworldcountries(AdamBraun)oraboutsomeonewhowrotelyricseverydaywhile97%ofhisfriendswerekilledbythetimehischildhoodwasoverandthenhemadethebestsellingsongof1995(Coolio).



OrtheCongressmanobsessedwithmeditationOrtheothercongressmanwhoisnowrunningforPresident.Orthe72yearoldwhorunsthelargestbeercompanyinthecountry.

Orpeoplewhowork90hoursaweekchasingtheirdreams.

Iadmit:I'mnotreallythatdriven.Iliketoread.Iliketowrite.Iliketotellmystory.

Youknowwhatmybasicstoryis?Fear.

IwasdesperatelyafraidIcouldn'tfeedmyfamily.Imadealotofmoney.IthoughtIwouldneverhavetoworryforever.ThenIfellinlovewithsomeone.ThenIlostitall.Madeitback.Lost.Made.Lost.Made.

Whatarollercoaster!Iwasn'tmakingdreams.Ijustwantedtofeedmyfamily.

IthinkIcameupwithastrategytokeepmebalanced.Toallowmetogrowandflourishinsteadofjustworry.Butreally,pastthat,Idon'tcare.

I'mhappyIfeedmyfamilynowaftersucharollercoaster.Idon'twanttoownabasketballteam.Orendaging.Orgotothemoon.

AtsomepointIgavemyselfpermission:

It'sokifyoudon'tknowwhatyouwanttodonext.

It'sokifyou'rescared.Scaredshitless.

It'soktonotwriteabestsellingnovel.

It'soktoleaveearly.

It'soktonotbeabillionaire.

It'soktonotstartacharitythatendsmalaria.

It'soktogetfiredortofail.Orevenworse,tolosesomeone'smoney.Thathappenssometimes.

ItryhardateverythingIlove.WhenIlovesomethingIwanttoobsessoneverypartofit.ThishascausedmeproblemsinrelationshipswhenIobsess.



It'soktobeinhardsituationsthatyoucan'tsolve.

ThisiswhyIhavetoremindmyselfeverydaytofocusonhealth.Bearoundgoodpeople.Becreative.Begrateful.OnceadayIsavemylifebyremindingmyselfofthat.

That'sokthatIhavetoremindmyselfofthatorloseeverything.Again.

It'sokifnoteveryonelikesme.Sometimesitsurprisesmewhodoesn'tlikeme.IthinkIgetsurprisedlikethatatleastonceaday.Igotsurprisedlikethatyesterday.

It'soktobe"stuck"sometimes.Toknowthatyouhavetalentsbuttohavenoideahoworwhenorwhytoapplythem.Beingstuckisahugesignalit'stotimetochange.That'snotabadthing.It'sagoodthing.

It'soktotaketimeordering.

It'soktonothaveopinions.

Wheneveryouargue,peoplearealwaysreadywithpointysharpfacts.IfonepersonhasthefactsforX,thenanotherhasthefactsforX.

There'slotsofintelligencetestsoutthere.Like:Googleasksthesequestionsatinterviews.Howmarbleswouldfitinallofouterspace?Ilookatthosequestions.Ican'tansweranyofthem.That'soktoo.

SometimesIforgettoreturnanemail.IreallylikedapersonandtheysentanemailandthenIforgettoreply.IlookbackmonthslaterandseeImadeadraftbutneverhitsend.Sometimesthat'sok.ButsometimesitpreventsmefrombeingfriendswithpeopleIlike.

Ilikebeatingmy13yearolddaughterattennis!Butguesswhat?Weplayedforthefirsttimeinmonthsthispastweekendandshewashittingstrongerandfaster.

Prettysoonshewillbeatme.Iguessthat'sokalso.Childrenshouldgetbetterthantheirparents.

Afriendofmineisasupergenius.Hestoppedbyyesterdaytoshowmehislatest



invention.Hecameupwithanewmoleculetoputintoa"vaping"device(anelectronicdevicethatletsyousmokewithouttheactualsmoke.)

Hemadeaspecialconcoctionsoinsteadofsmokingnicotinehe'sthefirstpersontoeversmokevitamins.WeloadeditupwithvitaminB12andeachtookabout10,000timestherecommendeddailyallowance.

Hetookhisbloodbeforeandafter.Sureenough,10,000timesmoreb12wasinhisbloodthanbefore.

Hesaid,"thisgoesrightintothebloodstream.Asopposedtotakingitinpillformwherenoneofitgoesintothebloodstream.Thatwhole$28billionvitaminindustryisascam."

WevapedVitaminB12foraboutanhourandthenIwenttomycartoonistlunchandthenovertodoapodcastwithStephenDubnerwhowroteFreakonomics.

Iwasthinkingtomyself,"I'mthesecondpersoninhistorytosmokeVitaminB12.I'mliketheBuzzAldrinofthatvitamin.

Claudiaincidentally,wasnumberthree.We'revitanauts.

DubnerandIweretalkingaboutwhatthesaddesttruthinlifewas.Hesaid,asifitwereobvious,"youmeanotherthandying?".

Isaiddyingtomesoundedlikethehappiesttruthaboutliving.Thatbeingbornwasaprettysadtruth.

Onceyourbornyouhavetoexcretefoodfortherestofyourlife.That'slikeGod'spunishmentforeatingthatapple.Oncewewereeatingappleswehadtoshitthemout.

IsaidIwouldn'tmindifIdiedtomorrow.I'mnotdepressedoranything.ButlifehasbeenprettygoodtomesoIdon'treallysweatdying.

It'sokifIwanttodieoccasionallywithoutbeingdepressed.Whocares?Weallhavetodiesometime.



DubnerandIdidsixstraightpodcastsinarow.We'reprobablygoingtoreleasethepodcastsinamonthorso.Ihadalotoffun.Notbecauseofthepodcastsbutbecausewe'vebeenfriendsfor15yearsalmost.I'mvaguelyaheadinabackgammonmatchthatwestartedin2003.

Whatareyouuptonext?hesaidwhenwewereleavingthestudio

Isaid,Idon'tknow.Probablygohomeandgotosleep.I'mprettytired.It'sokifIgotosleepat7pmifI'mtired.

Andthat'sexactlywhatIdid.

Adayinthelife.

(Inphoto:ChooseYourselfvsFreakonomicsauthorStephenDubner)

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