1 How to Use Emotional Control and Observation Skills To Become a Better Negotiator! James W. Haile Jr., C.P.M. Procurement Manager McNeil Nutritionals.

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How to Use Emotional Control and Observation Skills To

Become a Better Negotiator!

James W. Haile Jr., C.P.M.

Procurement Manager

McNeil Nutritionals

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Purpose

• This interactive session will help you build up your personal capabilities in managing your emotions and perceptions toward achieving your business results when negotiations occur.

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AGENDA• Negotiation Basics

• Rational Thought and Critical Thinking

• Perception and Observation

• Listening Skills

• Negotiating Hints and Tactics

• Summary and Questions

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Who are We? Why are We Here?

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Negotiation Basics

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Definitions: Negotiations• To move or shift a belief, a position or course

of action by creating a new set of values and behavior by providing relevant and believable information.

• A discussion of two or more parties’ respective wants and needs which aims for a mutually satisfying agreement.

• To create a need to obtain a product or service in exchange for something of value.

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Creating The Negotiating Environment to Achieve Profitable Results

• Integrative (aka Win-Win)

Outcomes that is highly acceptable to both parties

• Distributive (aka Win-Lose & Lose-Win)

Outcomes that have one party exceeding their goals and the other party falling short of their goals

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Negotiation is not by definition a process

where one party must win and the other

party must lose, although all too often it

ends with that result.

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• Remember, the objective is to obtain profitable results.

• The purpose is not to embarrass, step on or kill the other party!

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Criteria For Excellent Personal and Professional Behavior

• Emotional Control

• Rational Thought

• Critical Thinking

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What Influences Emotional Control, Rational Thought and

Critical Thinking?

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Emotions

• Negotiation processes and outcomes may create both positive and negative feelings

• Joy, pain, happiness, anger, hate, impatience, competitiveness, bias, good vibrations, sadness, feeling bad, loss of face, liking a situation and stubbornness are some of the emotions that can be generated.

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Positive Emotional Impact on Negotiations

• Integrative process more likely to be exhibited during the negotiations

• Creates a positive attitude toward the other side

• Promotes persistence

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Negative Emotional Impact on Negotiations

• Leads to a Competitive or Distributive situation

• May undermine one’s ability to analyze the situation accurately which adversely affects desired outcomes

• Negotiators may escalate the conflict

• Parties may feel the need to retaliate and thus thwart integrative outcomes

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Items that Influence Our Thinking

• Our personal needs

• Our upbringing and experiences

• The way we view life

• The value programming that we place on ourselves and others

• Our personality

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• List five items that some people exhibit or have that really turn you off

• List five items that some people exhibit or have that you really admire

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• Gain an understanding of your “likes” and “dislikes” because these are your “hot buttons” that can affect your thinking in negative ways when negotiating

• These items can be the color of someone’s clothes, their manner of speech, words actually used, the way they sit, the way they shake your hand, their celebrity status, actions taken, their age or many other characteristics or behaviors.

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• Hot buttons can be good or bad. Examples: 1. That new salesperson is a former professional athlete who was my idol when I was growing up. I can’t wait until I do business with him

2. He dresses too nicely. Must be making a fortune!

• Learn how to manage your thinking

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Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results!

If emotional control and focus is lost, you will never ACHIEVE your

goals and objectives!

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Engaging Your Brain!

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Controlling Your Thoughts and Emotional Responses!

Rational Thought Process

Keep your eyes on the prize. Objectives, Purpose, Goals, Vision or Mission !

Self remember and Self observe!

Instinct Ego

Focused

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Observation and PerceptionWhat Am I Looking at?

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Observation and Perception

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• What you see is not what you always get?

• Don’t go for the obvious. Ask questions and challenge!

• Do not be a Surface Observer or Learner.

• Be aware of everything that is around you!

• Be Focused! Don’t get faked out of the game!

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Non-Verbal Observations

• Definition: Any information that your senses perceive that is not written or spoken

• Examples: Physical Gestures and Attitudes

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• Not looking you in the eyes (mistrust, fear)

• Watching the clock/watch (impatient or going somewhere)

• Yawning (Bored, not focused, inattentive)

• Sitting on edge of seat (paying attention, interested in what you are saying)

• Arms folded across chest (defensive)

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• Stroking Chin (evaluating)

• Packing their bags (I’m out of here!)

• Stepping aside or backing away (deference)

• Head in palm of hand (bored)

• Hands on Hips (ready, set, go)

• Hands behind head and leaning back (territorially dominant, has answers already)

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Listening Skills

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Why is Listening Important?

• Builds respect and trust!

• Courtesy: Treat people as you want to be treated!

• Information gathering purposes!

• Understanding and Alignment (U&A)

• Supports creativity, flexibility and quick thinking on the feet during the negotiations.

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Listening Skills

• Completely focused vs selective listening

• Did you understand what you heard?

• Is the speaker saying one thing, but meaning something else? Words and Music aligned?

• Are you talking too much to listen to others? Silence is Golden!

• Listen, don’t evaluate!

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Listening Skills

• Don’t be distracted by gestures or mannerisms!

• Be patient and understanding to the speaker!

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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

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• Make sure that when negotiating, keep all discussions around the Purpose/Goals of the meeting. If discussions go off-track, bring them back to the Purpose/Goals

• Keep the conversation at the organizational level versus the individual level. Stay away from the personality and behavior issues at this time

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• If you reach the “Brink of Insanity”, call for a caucus with your team. Take a break!

• If you get an impasse or things break down to a personal level, ask for another member of their team, as well as your team to comment or sit in as a straw man to participate to reduce the personality tensions.

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• Avoid reacting to “smart remarks”! Stay focused on the Purpose and your position. Ignore and disarm them by not reacting to rants and ill advised remarks.

• Resolve the easy stuff first. If you hit a snag, move to another item and park the difficult one for later on in the meeting.

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• When you go back to the difficult item, determine what this issue means in terms of everything else that has been negotiated.

Ask the question, “How much energy do you have on this issue?

Negotiate appropriately from there.?

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If the impasse continues, ask these

questions:

-What is the basis for your position on this issue?

-What is your perceptions or beliefs around this issue

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Probe their comments with questions that

indicate genuine interest and understanding.

Discuss faulty perceptions/beliefs, as a shift

in time, conditions, resources or faulty facts.

• Share your own beliefs and get him to walk in our shoes. Try to resolve again.

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How to be Successful in Your Negotiations!

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Summary• Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results

• Understand Your Own Emotional Hot Buttons

• Be A Good Listener

• Silence is your Friend

• Be Observant and Understand

• Stay Focused on your Goals

1 How to Use Emotional Control and Observation Skills To Become a Better Negotiator! James W. Haile Jr., C.P.M. Procurement Manager McNeil Nutritionals.

Documents

persistence slide

personality slide

profitable results negotiation

thinking list

negotiating environment

critical thinking perception

positive emotional impact

negative emotional impact