1 Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. 2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida 33760 Phone: (727) 523-1130 Toll free: (800) 825-8687 E-mail: [email protected]@fndfl.org.

1

Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc.

2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida 33760

Phone: (727) 523-1130

Toll free: (800) 825-8687

E-mail: [email protected]

Website: www.fndfl.org

Parenting Styles

Jim Fay2

Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. (FND) is:

• Family Driven

• Non-Profit 501(c)3

• Membership Organization

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The PIRC is YOUR….

Parent and Information Resource Center.

We are funded by a grant from the U.S.

Department of Education, Office of

Innovation and Improvement as part of

the NCLB legislation.

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Agenda

• Parenting Styles

• Love and Logic

• Problem Solving

• What It All Comes Down To

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Goal:

• To increase and emphasize parents’ knowledge of effective parenting styles

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Objectives:

• Learn characteristics of effective parenting styles

• Learn how to combine love and logic with children

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Today’s Families: What Worked When We Were Kids

May Not Work Today!

WHY?

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Parenting Styles

• Helicopters:

“These parents hover over their children, constantly rescuing them and constantly protecting them from their teachers, other kids, and the rest of the cruel world out there!”

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Parenting Styles

• Drill Sergeants:

“When these parents tell their children to jump, they better jump!!”

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Parenting Styles

• Consultants:

These parents are always willing to share alternatives and describe how they would solve the problem themselves. They leave it up to their children to decide what to do and then hold the children responsible and accountable for their decision.

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Unspoken Messages…

• Helicopters: “You can’t help yourself. I have to do things for you.”

• Drill Sergeant: “You can’t think. I have to do your thinking for you.”

• Consultant: “You are capable and can make wise decisions. You are a responsible person.”

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Love and Logic

Using love and logic to help children find solutions to problems…

“Love allows children to grow through their mistakes.”

“Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices.”

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Four Principles of Love and Logic:

1. Shared Control –

Parents gain control by giving away the control they don’t need.

2. Shared Thinking and Decision-Making –

Parents provide opportunities for children to do the greatest amount of thinking and decision-making.

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Four Principles of Love and Logic:

3. Equal Shares of Consequences and Empathy – An absence of parental anger causes a child to think and learn from his or her mistakes.

4. Maintaining A Child’s Self-Concept – Improved self-concept leads to improved

behavior and improved achievement.

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Love and Logic and Problem Solving

• Helicopters tend to rescue kids from the consequences of their actions.

• Drill Sergeants tend to avoid giving kids opportunities to make decisions or mistakes.

• Consultants allow kids to makemistakes and to live with the

consequences.

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Children raised by consultant parents grow up to be adults who:

• Know how to respect and take care of themselves • Are able to determine who “owns” the problem• Know that they have some control over their lives• Know that you gain control by giving away the

control you don’t need• Know that the quality of their lives depends upon

the decisions they make

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What it all comes down to…

You know your child best – you may need to be a helicopter at one time, a drill sergeant at another time, and a consultant in between!

Spending time with your child and showing your child that you care

is the most important thing a parent can do!

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For More Information…

Call 800-338-4065 or go to

Parenting with Love & Logic

and refer to the

Helicopters, Drill Sergeants,

and Consultants book

by Jim Fay

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Please Complete Evaluation

For more information contact:

2735 Whitney Road

Clearwater, Florida 33760

Office: 727-523-1130 or 800-825-5736

Fax: 727-523-8687

www.fndfl.org