1 Chapter 9 Supporting Supporting Inter-Act, 13 th Edition Inter-Act, 13 th Edition.

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Chapter 9SupportingChapter 9

Supporting

Inter-Act, 13th Edition

Chapter Objectives2

Explain the concept of empathyDescribe how to increase your ability to

empathizeDiscuss supportive messagesDescribe the characteristics of effective and

ineffective supportingExplain the four phases of supportive

interactionDiscuss the five message skills that will

enable you to provide effective support to others

Discussion Question3

Some people find it difficult to know what to say in times of crisis. Discuss appropriate and inappropriate responses to:

The death of a family member The death of a pet A divorce A bad date

Discussion Question4

Why do you think it is difficult for some people to provide helpful supportive

messages?

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The cognitive and affective process of perceiving the

emotions others are feeling and then acting on our

perception

Empathizing

3 Types of Empathy6

Empathic Responsiveness

Perspective Taking

Sympathetic Responsiveness

Guidelines for Improving Empathy7

Take time and make the effort to understand people.

Pay attention to nonverbal and paralanguage cues.

Pay attention to the emotional content of the verbal message.

Employ one of the three types of empathy.

Supportive Messages8

Social support: providing emotional, informational, and instrumental resources

Supportive messages: communications that provide intangible support for your partner, including emotional support, information, advice, and motivation

Effective Support Messages

Clearly state the aim to help the other.

Express acceptance, love, and affection for the other.

Demonstrate care, concern, and interest in the other’s situation.

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Effective Support Messages (cont’d)10

Indicate that you are available to listen and support the other.

State that you are an ally.Acknowledge the other’s feelings and

situation and express sincere sympathy.Assure the other that feelings are

legitimate.Encourage the other to elaborate.

Ineffective Support Messages11

Condemn and criticize the other’s feelings and behavior.

Imply that the other’s feelings are not warranted.

Tell the other how to feel.Focus attention on yourself.Impose advice on a relative stranger.

Supporting Positive Feelings12

Capitalization: sharing successes and leveraging the good feelings with the expectation that others will celebrate with us

Active-constructive: celebratory messages whose goal is to leverage partner’s positive feelings that stem from a happy event or accomplishment

Supporting Negative Feelings13

Comforting messages: active, constructive feedback whose goal is to alleviate or lessen emotional distress

Supporting skills include empathizing.

Supportive Interaction Phases

Phase One: Support ActivationPhase Two: Support ProvisionPhase Three: Target ReactionPhase Four: Helper Responses

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Clarifying Supportive Intentions

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Directly state your intentions by emphasizing your desire to help.

Remind your partner of your commitment to the relationship.

Indicate that helping is your only motive.Phrase your clarification in a way that

reflects helpfulness.

Buffering Face Threats16

Face-threatening act (FTA): a statement of support that a person in need may interpret as a threat to his or her public self-image

Positive facework: providing messages that affirm a person or a person’s actions in a difficult situation to protect his or her respectability and approval

Negative facework: providing messages that offer information, opinions, or advice to protect a person's freedom and privacy

Positive Facework

Describe and convey positive feelings about what the other has said and done.

Express your admiration for his or her courage.

Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation.Express your belief that the other has the

qualities and skills needed to endure.

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Negative Facework

Ask for permission before giving advice.Verbally defer to the opinions and

preferences of the other person.Use tentative language to hedge and qualify

opinions and advice.Offer suggestions indirectly.

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Using Other-Centered Messages19

Ask questions that prompt the person to elaborate on what happened.

Emphasize your willingness to listen to an extended story.

Use vocalized encouragement and nonverbal behavior to communicate continued interest.

Affirm, legitimize, and encourage exploration of feelings expressed by partner.

Demonstrate that you understand, but avoid changing the focus to you.

Framing20

The skill of providing support by offering information, observations, and opinions

that enable the receiver to better understand or see his/her situation in a

different light

Giving Advice21

Ask for permission to give advice.Word the message as one of many

suggestions in a way that the recipient can understand.

Present any potential risks or costs associated with the following the advice.

Indicate that you will not be offended if the other chooses to ignore your recommendation.

Social Support via Social Media

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Advantages Creates social distance Hear from people around the world Useful for introverted, shy, or lonely Easier to manage messages Crosses age/status/education boundaries Time/place less important

Gender and Cultural Similarity23

Desire to be comforted is universal.Both men and women place high value on

emotional support from partners.Little difference reported between genders

or among cultures

Culture24

European-Americans believe that openly discussing feelings is valuable.

Americans are more sensitive to other-centered messages than are Chinese.

Chinese view avoidance strategies as more appropriate than Americans.

Chinese and American married people view emotional support provided by their spouses as most important.