1 Bad Game Designer, No Twinkie! Ernest W. Adams [email protected]+44-1483-237599 a.

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Bad Game Designer,Bad Game Designer,No Twinkie!No Twinkie!

Ernest W. AdamsErnest W. Adams

[email protected]@designersnotebook.com

http://www.designersnotebook.comhttp://www.designersnotebook.com

+44-1483-237599+44-1483-237599

http://www.ihobo.co.uka member of the design group

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Twinkie Denial ConditionsTwinkie Denial Conditions Bad Conceptual DesignBad Conceptual Design Bad Game MechanicsBad Game Mechanics Bad User Interface DesignBad User Interface Design Bad ProgrammingBad Programming Bad Level DesignBad Level Design Bad ContentBad Content

Note:Note: These are design errors, but they don’t always These are design errors, but they don’t always make a game bad! Many good games contain errors.make a game bad! Many good games contain errors.

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Bad Conceptual DesignBad Conceptual Design

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Adolescent ArmageddonAdolescent Armageddon ““Conquer the world!”Conquer the world!”

“Save the galaxy!”“Save the galaxy!” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we

have some games that have some games that aren’t aren’t teenage power teenage power fantasies?fantasies?

Better:Better:

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Kill Monster/Take Sword/Sell SwordKill Monster/Take Sword/Sell SwordBuy New Sword/Kill New MonsterBuy New Sword/Kill New Monster

I’m supposed to be a hero, so I’m supposed to be a hero, so why am I spending all my time why am I spending all my time bargaining with shopkeepers?!bargaining with shopkeepers?!

I’m not a hero, I’m an itinerant I’m not a hero, I’m an itinerant second-hand arms dealer!second-hand arms dealer!

Robbing corpses doesn’t feel Robbing corpses doesn’t feel all that noble, either...all that noble, either...

RPG’s need to break the RPG’s need to break the “Monty Haul” cycle.“Monty Haul” cycle.

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Conceptual Non SequitursConceptual Non Sequiturs Anything that a normal Anything that a normal

human being (not a gamer) human being (not a gamer) would say makes no sense.would say makes no sense. Medical kits hidden inside oil Medical kits hidden inside oil

tanks in FPSs.tanks in FPSs. Half-naked women who, Half-naked women who,

when killed in RPGs, drop when killed in RPGs, drop suits of plate armor.suits of plate armor.

Ordinary people moving 20-Ordinary people moving 20-ton stones in action games.ton stones in action games.

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Bad Game MechanicsBad Game Mechanics

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DeadlocksDeadlocks A situation in which a A situation in which a

process cannot continue process cannot continue without the resource that without the resource that it produces, or two it produces, or two processes are each processes are each waiting for the other.waiting for the other.

All games need a All games need a mechanism for breaking mechanism for breaking deadlocks – an additional deadlocks – an additional source of the resource.source of the resource.

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Too Much RandomnessToo Much Randomness Random bad luck that Random bad luck that

makes a long game makes a long game unwinnable.unwinnable. Poker is highly random Poker is highly random

but each hand is short.but each hand is short. Over time the better Over time the better

players win.players win.

Constant, irritating Constant, irritating random encounters random encounters that add nothing to the that add nothing to the plot.plot.

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Bad User Interface DesignBad User Interface Design

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No Save or Pause Game FeatureNo Save or Pause Game Feature Often used to make games Often used to make games

more difficult without any work more difficult without any work by the designer.by the designer.

““Saving is cheating” attitude is Saving is cheating” attitude is a sign of a weak design. a sign of a weak design. Saving isn’t cheating in Saving isn’t cheating in Monopoly Monopoly or baseball.or baseball.

It’s the player’s machine, not It’s the player’s machine, not ours. It’s not fair to punish her ours. It’s not fair to punish her just because it’s her little just because it’s her little brother’s turn to play.brother’s turn to play.

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Games Without MapsGames Without Maps Games don’t offer the same Games don’t offer the same

visual cues that the real visual cues that the real world does.world does.

Getting the player lost is a Getting the player lost is a cheap way to lengthen the cheap way to lengthen the game.game.

Better:Better:

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Bad ProgrammingBad Programming

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Games That Run Too FastGames That Run Too Fast If an old game runs too If an old game runs too

fast to play on new fast to play on new machines, it’s sloppy machines, it’s sloppy programming.programming.

All game events and All game events and animations should be animations should be based on timers.based on timers.

If you have spare If you have spare cycles, use them cycles, use them intelligently, on AI!intelligently, on AI!

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Stupid MonstersStupid Monsters Hear player. Lumber Hear player. Lumber

mindlessly towards player. mindlessly towards player. Get shot. Die.Get shot. Die.

It’s time for some smarter It’s time for some smarter monsters!monsters!

Better:Better:

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Bad PathfindingBad Pathfinding Nothing makes an Nothing makes an

otherwise smart game otherwise smart game seem stupid than a unit seem stupid than a unit who can’t find his way who can’t find his way past his own comrades!past his own comrades!

Groups should stick Groups should stick together walking around together walking around large obstacles (hills) large obstacles (hills) but split up among small but split up among small ones (trees).ones (trees).

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Bad Level DesignBad Level Design

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Difficulty Moving in 3D SpacesDifficulty Moving in 3D Spaces Locations in 3D games Locations in 3D games

should either be clearly should either be clearly accessible (floors) or accessible (floors) or inaccessible (walls).inaccessible (walls).

People can climb very People can climb very steep slopes if they try, steep slopes if they try, so let them!so let them!

Give players a little slack Give players a little slack about where they can about where they can stand and jump from.stand and jump from.

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Boring and Stupid MazesBoring and Stupid Mazes Any maze that has to be Any maze that has to be

solved by brute force is solved by brute force is a boring and stupid a boring and stupid maze.maze.

Mazes need to be fun Mazes need to be fun and clever, organized and clever, organized according to a principle according to a principle that the player can that the player can deduce (with effort) and deduce (with effort) and then follow easily.then follow easily.

YOU ARE IN A YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE.ALL ALIKE.

– – a maze in a maze in AdventureAdventure

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A Switch Opens a Door Miles AwayA Switch Opens a Door Miles Away Another time-waster, Another time-waster,

designed to slow the player designed to slow the player down without challenging his down without challenging his mind.mind.

In the real world, doorknobs In the real world, doorknobs are usually in the door (!).are usually in the door (!).

If you want a door to be If you want a door to be locked, then lock it, and store locked, then lock it, and store the key somewhere the key somewhere reasonable.reasonable.

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Many Combinations, No CluesMany Combinations, No Clues A puzzle in which the A puzzle in which the

solution is one of a large solution is one of a large number of combinations number of combinations (with no clues about which (with no clues about which one) is a trial-and-error one) is a trial-and-error time-waster.time-waster.

InfidelInfidel ended with one of 24 ended with one of 24 possible choices and each possible choices and each time you died and had to time you died and had to reload!reload!

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Extreme Lateral Thinking RequiredExtreme Lateral Thinking Required Use the lampshade Use the lampshade

with the bulldozer?with the bulldozer? This is OK as a joke. This is OK as a joke.

Maybe. Once.Maybe. Once. Other than that it’s just Other than that it’s just

a designer playing a designer playing rather mean tricks on rather mean tricks on her audience.her audience.

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No Lateral Thinking AllowedNo Lateral Thinking Allowed I can kill stone trolls with I can kill stone trolls with

my axe, but I can’t break my axe, but I can’t break down a wooden door?down a wooden door?

With today’s deformable With today’s deformable environments, we should environments, we should allow more lateral thinking.allow more lateral thinking.

Better: Better:

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Obscure Knowledge RequiredObscure Knowledge Required Unless it is a trivia Unless it is a trivia

game, all the game, all the information needed to information needed to win a game should be win a game should be contained within it.contained within it.

When localizing, When localizing, beware cultural beware cultural differences!differences!

Q:Q: WHAT IS THE WHAT IS THE AIRSPEED VELOCITY AIRSPEED VELOCITY OF AN UNLADEN OF AN UNLADEN SWALLOW?SWALLOW?

A:A: AFRICAN OR AFRICAN OR EUROPEAN?EUROPEAN?

– – a Monty Python joke in a Monty Python joke in HauntHaunt

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You Have 30 Sec. Before You DieYou Have 30 Sec. Before You Die Puzzles that kill the Puzzles that kill the

player with an extremely player with an extremely short time limit are just short time limit are just another sign of designer another sign of designer laziness.laziness.

If the player will have to If the player will have to reload the whole game, reload the whole game, one-third of the possible one-third of the possible solutions should lead to solutions should lead to safety.safety.

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Bad ContentBad Content

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Not Enough Voiceover ClipsNot Enough Voiceover Clips Players get bored and Players get bored and

turn the sound off.turn the sound off. This was often the This was often the

case with cartridge case with cartridge games, but there’s no games, but there’s no excuse any longer.excuse any longer.

My rule of thumb: no My rule of thumb: no fewer than 5 audio fewer than 5 audio clips for any given clips for any given situation, even the situation, even the rarest.rarest.

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Fantasy-Killing ElementsFantasy-Killing Elements I just saw my father I just saw my father

murdered and now I’m murdered and now I’m supposed to solve supposed to solve otherother people’s problems?!people’s problems?!

Anachronisms, bad writing, Anachronisms, bad writing, inside humor, and irrelevant inside humor, and irrelevant mini-games all help to mini-games all help to destroy a fantasy.destroy a fantasy.

HarmonyHarmony is a key quality of is a key quality of the best computer games.the best computer games.

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Pointless SurrealismPointless Surrealism Surrealism is not just Surrealism is not just

weirdness for the fun of it!weirdness for the fun of it! True surrealism has an True surrealism has an

underlying point, to cause underlying point, to cause the viewer to think.the viewer to think.

Better: Better:

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Poor Acting (and Writing)Poor Acting (and Writing) Bad acting destroys Bad acting destroys

suspension of disbelief.suspension of disbelief. It ruins emotional tension.It ruins emotional tension. Good writing is cheap, so Good writing is cheap, so

there’s no excuse.there’s no excuse. Better: Better:

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Neat, Tidy ExplosionsNeat, Tidy Explosions If the game industry has If the game industry has

anything to learn from anything to learn from September 11, it is that September 11, it is that explosions are not good explosions are not good clean fun.clean fun.

Bombs Bombs ruinruin things: things: buildings and lives. Let’s buildings and lives. Let’s tell the truth about them.tell the truth about them.

Any explosion should Any explosion should leave some wreckage.leave some wreckage.

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Low-Poly Trees (and other things)Low-Poly Trees (and other things) A good-looking sprite is A good-looking sprite is

better than a bad 3D better than a bad 3D model any day of the model any day of the week.week.

If you can’t do something If you can’t do something well, don’t do it at all. well, don’t do it at all. Don’t ask me to pretend Don’t ask me to pretend that some weird blocky that some weird blocky green umbrella thing is green umbrella thing is really a tree.really a tree.

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Huge Breasts & Other JuveniliaHuge Breasts & Other Juvenilia Yes, it makes money.Yes, it makes money. But it also gives normal But it also gives normal

people the impression people the impression that games are only for that games are only for drooling adolescent drooling adolescent morons.morons.

Juvenile content hurts Juvenile content hurts the entire industry the entire industry because it discourages because it discourages non-gamers from non-gamers from starting to play.starting to play.

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Twinkie Denial Conditions ReduxTwinkie Denial Conditions Redux

Challenges solvable only by trial and error.Challenges solvable only by trial and error.(Not to be confused with exploration or practice.)(Not to be confused with exploration or practice.)

Non sequiturs and pointless illogicality.Non sequiturs and pointless illogicality.(Not to be confused with necessary simplification.)(Not to be confused with necessary simplification.)

Designer egotism, vanity, or showing off.Designer egotism, vanity, or showing off. Confusion between “hard” and “enjoyable.”Confusion between “hard” and “enjoyable.” Laziness: making the player work so you don’t.Laziness: making the player work so you don’t. Sloppiness and inattention to quality.Sloppiness and inattention to quality. Deliberate, needless offensiveness.Deliberate, needless offensiveness.

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Bad Game Designer,Bad Game Designer,No Twinkie!No Twinkie!

Ernest W. AdamsErnest W. Adams

[email protected]@designersnotebook.com

http://www.designersnotebook.comhttp://www.designersnotebook.com

+44-1483-237599+44-1483-237599

http://www.ihobo.co.uka member of the design group