. \ \ I l MERRITT PATTERSON \ . '. \ 7th-Graders I Must Face Naked Truth i Showering in groups surely scars our kids I thought that seventh grade at Highland Park Middle School couldn't be too drastically different than fifth and sixth. It's just on the other side of the same building, right? But now, when I look back on that naivety, I kind of . wince.. Dear Highland Park. Middle School assistant principal Mr. Bohac, I'm new to your side of the school, and I have a couple ofquestions, mainly about the dress code and . · those poor naked boys. First, the dress code seems very clear. One of the guidelines states spe- cifically that tank tops are not permitted. So why =does-every female student - argue in the Abercrombie dressing room, "MOM! I know it says that, but it just means the strap can't be' less than two Bohac fingers wide." How do they know this? Where is it written? · And if this is true, can you either meet me at the mall or provide the exact mea- surement of two of your fingers? And is there any wiggle room on this mid-thigh .requirement for shorts? It's sonot fair.Boyslookfinein frumpy lengths, but girls are wearing jeggings, and it's 195 degrees outside. I'm thinking the rule could use some editing, like: "fash- ionable shorts, nothing sleazy." And of course, if · anyone abuses the update and shows 'up looking like a pole dancer in training, they'd be issued cheap scrubs fresh out of abox in your office. Or something like that. Also, is there anything we can do for the boy moms about the no-athlet- .ic-shorts rule? Foot Locker doesn't sell khakis, and I don't think boys at this age even know how to walk in clothing without an elastic waist. Maybe the admin- istration can iocate a few comfy brands of pr 'ppy shorts and offer the n in the supply shop, bec use I'm hearing this is a s rper- huge problem. Next, I realize that (;om- munal showering faciiities for boys are not excl sive to HPMS and that it was a widely accepted thing when we were grow- ingup. But so was ge .ting whacked by a coach with a .ginormous wooden pa Idle, and that practice was out- lawed. So I'm wand' ring r-r- why do we still re uire n-to-is-year-old boj sto be naked in front of ach other without even, the slightest partition? I don't care what anyone sm s- there's something p etty traumatic about that. . I watched The Tudors; they were totally nuts and chopped people'S h !ads off for ridiculous s :uff. That's exactly what e're going to look like in _ iov- ies 50{l vears fro ow .. FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 3. 2010 MIS/HPMS ($3.5 million of which was used for the gym and athletic areas} could have been used for a few flimsy half-walls. I'd appreciate it if you could pass that along to the higher-ups. Let me know what day you can meet us at the mall! Until then, thanks for allyou do. Sincerely, .Merritt Patterson E-mail merritt@ peoplenewspapers.com when they feature junior- high boys showering~vith- out privacy as an ex ple of our era's most barbaric customs. Seriously. We spend all this energy fighting bt lies andprotectingthe rights of victims, but then we strip 'em down and throw them in abig shower together. I'm not callingl for another big construction project on the boys'locker • room or anything. I'm just sayin' that maybe some of the $20.5 million we just spent on improvements to ot fair.Boys look :finein frumpy lengths, b It girls ........ 'are wearing j eggings and it's 195degrees outsi .e:' -MERRm PATTERSON(,iee Page lB.) ,; I