Transcript
Dr.Arivalan DBA, PhD
NLP Coach (ABNLP. USA, Certified Master Hypnotherapist (IACT)
arivalankr@praxisynerg
Praxis Skills Training and Consultancy
Dear Respected Participants
This worskhop shall be customized
accroding to participants’ real life
scnarios and challenges therefor not all
the slides and cases will be covered in this
2 two days session. However, the
intentionaly skipped slides can be used as
notes for further references.
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Leading Oneself › Developing adaptability
› Increasing self-awareness
› Managing yourself
› Increasing capacity to learn
› Exhibiting leadership stature
› Displaying drive and purpose
› Developing ethics and integrity
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Leading Others
› Managing effective teams and
workgroups
› Building and maintaining
relationships
› Developing others
› Communicating effectively
4 Source: CCL website, www.ccl.org
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EXTERNAL
EVENT
RESULTS BEHAVIOUR
Time/Space
Matter/Energy
Language
Memories
Decisions
Meta Programs
Values & Beliefs
Attitudes
INTERNAL
REP
STATE
PHYSIOLOGY
FILTERS
DELETE
DISTORT
GENERALISE
2 Billion bits per sec
LEADERSHIP
Choices
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EXTERNAL
EVENT
RESULTS
Time/Space
Matter/Energy
Language
Memories
Decisions
Meta Programs
Values & Beliefs
Attitudes
INTERNAL
REP
STATE
PHYSIOLOGY
FILTERS
DELETE
DISTORT
GENERALISE
2 Billion bits per sec
LEADERSHIP
Choices
BEHAVIOUR ?
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1 Be
proactive
Genetic determinism (DNA)
Psychic determinism (childhood
experience)
Environmental determinism (boss,
spouse, economic situation,
notational policies)
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Three theories of determinism affecting our response
to a certain stimulus
Circle of
Concern
Circle of
Concern
REACTIVE FOCUS
(Negative energy reduces
the Circles of Influences)
PROACTIVE FOCUS
(Positive energy enlarges
the Circles of Influences)
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What prevents a leader to increase
his/her circle of influence? Give five
major points according to most
important to least important. Stay
focus on leadership traits (internal
factors) only.
Everyone has a unique model of the world. Therefore respect other peoples model of the world.
The map is not the territory. People are not their behaviour.
All behaviour has a positive intention.
There is no failure, only feedback
There are no un-resourceful people, only un-resourceful states.
The meaning of communication is the response you get.
Everyone can be taught to do anything
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Incremental Improvement - new skills, practices, doing things
better
Re-shaping Patterns of Thinking - revising frames of reference, how one sees the world, and assumptions about the way
things work
Transformation – a fundamental shift in how one sees oneself
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“You cannot lead, coach or teach anyone without his or her permission-even someone who reports to you. Sure, you can use all the authoritarian, heavy-handed tactics you want to make people accountable for showing up and doing certain tasks. However, it won’t make people feel responsible for the larger mission or be open to your teachable point of view. The ability to accomplish your goals depends ultimately on investing in your relationships until you have built a powerful partnership that can move mountains.
What you think?
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Transformational Leadership
– Emphasized the difference between sources of authority
– includes raising the level of morality in others
– Transformational (transforming) – “occurs when
one or more persons engage with others in such a
way that leaders and followers raise one another to
higher levels of motivation and morality” (1978)
– Pseudotransformational – personalized
leadership
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TRANSFORMATIONAL
Process of
engaging with others
to create a connection
that increases
motivation
and morality in both the
leader and the follower
Leader is attentive to the needs
and motives of followers and tries to
help followers reach their fullest
potential. Org. example - A manager or the
supervisor attempts to change
his/her company’s corporate values
to reflect a more humane standard of
fairness & justice – In the process
both manager & followers may
emerge with a stronger & higher set
of moral values
Coercive style
Democratic style
Pacesetter style
Coaching Style
Democratic style
Affilliative style
Authoritative style
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Four Faces of Frank
Analyst
Artist
Good Buddy
Task Master
Write beside each face, list the behaviors that tend
to get these personality types in trouble.
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
1. They never criticize
2. They fulfill worker’s “desire to be great/ important”.
3. They never kill enthusiasms
4. They talk what others want rather than what they want
5. They always win themselves a listening
6. They always uses right language
7. They always uses the right gestures
8. They never interrupt while others are talking
9. They have the skills of winning a person
by losing an argument
10. They use kindness correctly
11. They always talk something relevant to others
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Once upon a time there was bear
who was hungry and a man who was
cold, so they decided to negotiate in
a neutral cave. After several hours a
settlement was reached. When they
emerged the man had a fur and the
bear was no longer hungry.
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The main purpose of the innermost
part of the brain is survival.
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Amygdala is
deep within the most elemental parts
of the brain.
Positive Impact › High Empathy › Very Creative › Receptive to listening
to personal problems › Include human
elements in the decisions
› Learn from Mistakes › Trustable › Protective › Willing to take blames
Negative Impact › Anger › Moody › Unpredictable › Make decisions
emotionally › Practice favoritism › Take action without
facts › Easily influenced by
feelings › Workers can take
them for a ride
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Positive Impact
› Very rational
› Lingers on the facts and
not emotions
› Reports are very specific
› Less talk more work
› Likes expert power
› Very good in numbers
› Meticulous
› Likes to follow rules
› Preventive thinker
Negative Impact
› Cold blooded
› Lack of empathy
› Tried to avoid blames
› Difficult to trust – facts vs
people, fact wins.
› Uncomfortable to talk
with
› Poor teacher
› Less words more work
› No room to discuss
personal problems
› Usually will loose
elections
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Emotions will be revisited tomorrow.
The emotions-attitudes-
behavior model illustrates
that attitudes are shaped
by ongoing emotional
experiences.
Thus, successful companies
actively create more positive
than negative emotional
episodes.
Courtesy of CXtec
Social Awareness
Self-management
Understanding and sensitivity to the
feelings, thoughts, and situation of
others
Controlling or redirecting our internal
states, impulses, and resources
Self-awareness Understanding your own emotions,
strengths, weaknesses, values, and
motives
Relationship
Management Managing other people’s emotions
Lowest
Highest
Self-Awareness
Social Awareness
Self-Management
Relationship Management
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Self Others
Reco
gn
itio
n
Re
gu
latio
n
Positive impact
on others
The coercive style - “Do what I tell you”
The authoritative style - “Come with me”
The affiliative style - “People come first”
The democratic style - “What do you
think?”
The pacesetter style - “Do as I do now”
The coaching style - “Try this”
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SPIDER WEB DIAGRAM(Personal)
Transformational Leadership 37
Coercive style
authoritative style
0
10
affiliative style
democratic style
pacesetter style
coaching style
5
10
10
10
10
10
5
5
5
5 5
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Think of the leadership styles as the
clubs in a golf bag. In the hands of
a professional each is used in the
right place and circumstance, often
with unconscious competence.
SPIDER WEB DIAGRAM(Group)
Transformational Leadership 39
Coercive style
authoritative style
0
10
affiliative style
democratic style
pacesetter style
coaching style
5
10
10
10
10
10
5
5
5
5 5
Mr.Sam is a hardworking technician and have worked in a mining
company for more than five years. He is liked by the operators and his
colleagues well. He is very friendly and achieve the assigned tasks
without fail. Ramu joined the company 3 months ago and he is very
close to Ravi, their boss. Ravi and Ramu are childhood friends and Ravi is
the one who brought Ramu to the company. Even though Ramu is a
good worker, sometimes he seeks Sam’s advice on the technical
matters. Ramu is not friendly compared to Sam. Furthermore, Sam used
to guide Ramu on some technical matters. After one year, Ravi
promoted Ramu to become an engineer while Sam was given a normal
pay rise. Sam was very disappointed with Ravi and tendered his
resignation. During the exit interview he gave a nasty comments about
Ravi’s favoritism attitude towards Ramu. The management requested
Sam to reconsider his resignation and willing to promote him to higher
position.
Question: Who is wrong and who is right?
What will you do if you belong to a higher management team?
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How do we form our self talk? The way we talk to ourselves comes from our beliefs.
Beliefs form our opinions about our world and ourselves.
Our beliefs originate from the way our parents raised us and what they communicated to us plus additional life experiences. If we grew up being told we were shy and that shy is bad, we will believe that and turn that belief into a negative self talk. For example, you may tell yourself you are a bad public speaker because you are shy.
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Negative self talk affects us in many ways. It can lead to depression, stagnation, self pity, and many other negative influences. All of these combined lead us to not live our best possible life. Some examples of Negative self talk are:
I don’t think I can trust him
He is talking behind my back
He is mixing with my enemies therfore he must be one of them
I don’t think I can allow him to be better than me
I should torture him because he always speaks he knows everything
emoto on water.ppt
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Positive self talk on the other hand can lead a person to live the
best life that they can. If instead of saying you are not good
enough you say “I can do this”. Not only will you achieve your
goals, but you will be happier and healthier. Positive self talk
gives you a permanent cheerleader in your corner! One that
carries positive messages to all areas of your life and helps you
move forward. Other examples include:
He needs time to learn.
I need to change my style so that he listens
I have to get some evidence before taking any actions
I cannot be biased towards him because of one silly mistake
Let him mix with my enemies, It doesn’t mean he is like that too.
I am emotional, therefore should not let my emotions to flare up
and make irrational decisions
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Case on Cognitive Behaviour - self talk.docx
Understand the INTRINSIC values and the
metaprogram of the subordinates.
Then match their pattern of the
metaprogram
Thirdly, Build rapport using their own
pattern.
Finally, They will be receptive to your
instruction
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Intrinsic values are accumulated as a result of our life experiences.
Underlying these are some deeper-rooted values that determines the way you approach life.
Intrinsic values are easily recognizable because they show themselves as patterns in what you say, how you say it and what you do.
Leaders are able to change their personal patterns to match with the others to build strong RAPPORT.
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Extrinsic Factors/
External Stimuli
Intrinsic Factors/
Psychology
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Towards To (TT) Away From (AF)
Procedures Optional
Proactive Reactive
Internal External
RED BLUE
Sameness Difference
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Self Others
Independent Cooperative
Detail General
RED BLUE
My/My You /My
Person Thing
Tony Wong enjoyed his job as a technician. He admired the top engineers who are in high positions after producing the results the management wanted unflinchingly. And he aspires to be like them.
The way to do this was to engage and improve the job and people skills at the workplace.
Tony would come up with all kinds of silly excuses to procrastinate rather than to make the changes to be what he wanted.
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An awareness of your intrinsic values is very often enough to create change.
Sometimes however, awareness is not enough and circumstances may suggest that a change in behavior could be beneficial. As the majority of the behavior is
habitual, the challenge lies in breaking the old habits and developing new ones by repetition.
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5Interactive Case on Organization
Conflict - Intrinsic values.docx
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Structure of Rapport:
Professor Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D., of the
University of California, Los Angles (UCLA), in 1972 in a series of controlled experiments was able to demonstrate that non-verbal signals were significantly more influential than other stimuli (see numbers below).
He found that more than 90% of our ability to influence lies outside of the actual words we use.
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A state of trusting and openness.
A perception of liking and being liked.
A state of feeling of closeness and safety.
A state where a person is less critical of ideas offered to them.
1 to1
1 to many
Many to many
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93% of our
communication
takes place on
the
subconscious
level
Physiology Posture/ Stance
Gesture
Facial Expression
Breathing
Eye Movement/ Blinking
Tonality Volume (loudness)
Tone (pitch) Tempo (speed)
Timbre (quality/ clarity)
Resonance
Words Predicates Key
Words
Common
experiences &
associations Content
chunks
Matching
Mirroring
Crossover Mirroring
Posture
Gestures
Facial Expression and Blinking
Breathing
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Before we go into how we can elicit
someone's values, let's ensure that we
understand what we mean by
someone's values. (Next slide includes
excerpts from my unpublished
manuscript on Meta-Programs entitled
"Patterns of Influence"
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Before we actually get into Eliciting and Creating Emotional States, let's review a little of what I call working theory or what is it that makes this work so well and so easily. We'll briefly look at these important concepts.
Start with an outcome in mind. What is the "emotional state" you want to produce in yourself and in the other person.
Almost anything is possible when you are in rapport with someone.
To create an emotional state in someone else you must first put yourself in that state.
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2006 NSBA Convention 64
1. “Tank”
Confrontational, pointed & angry
The ultimate in pushy behavior
2. “Sniper”
Rude comments, biting sarcasm
Attempts to make you look foolish
2006 NSBA Convention 65
3. “Grenade”
After initial calm, explodes into uncontrolled
ranting & raving
4. “Know-it-All”
Has a low tolerance for correction and
contradiction
2006 NSBA Convention 66
5. “Think-They-Know-It-All”
Attempt to fool some or all of the people
most of the time
Really an attempt to get attention
6. “Yes Person”
Say “yes” without thinking things through
An attempt to please people and avoid
confrontation
2006 NSBA Convention 67
7. “Maybe Person”
Procrastinates in hope that a better choice
will present itself
8. “Nothing Person”
No verbal feedback
No non-verbal feedback
Nothing
2006 NSBA Convention 68
9. “NO Person”
Able to defeat big ideas with a single
syllable
Deadly to morale
Throw cold waters on good spirit
Complainers
Clams
Ultra-Agreeable
Perpetual Pessimists
Indecisive
* Clearly not every DP fits neatly into one of these simple categories
Transformational Leadership 69
Coaching that:
› supports the achievement of operation outcomes
› augments the leadership capacity required to drive business results
› enables systemic change
› is sufficiently process driven to be repeatable
› is measurable
› is accountable for a positive ROI
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What do experts do? Must be Develop
(good practice) effective expertise
(application)
Why? Education
(Research) (Break into
key elements)
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FIVB
Perceptual positions
› Position 1 – Self
› Position 2 – The other person that do
not have good relationship with you.
› Position 3 – Appointed consultant
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1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Have genuine interest in people
3. Give a gesture how pleased you are to meet or talk to people
4. Throw a real smile
5. Remember the names which is the most important sound
6. Be a good listener by encouraging others to talk about
themselves
7. Talk in terms of other person’s interest
8. Make the person important and do it sincerely
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The Case For Mentoring
• Seventy-one percent (71%) of Fortune 500 and private companies use mentoring in their organization.
Business Finance Magazine, 2000
• Seventy-seven percent (77%) of U.S. companies surveyed in 2000 said mentoring improved both retention and performance of employees.
Business Finance Magazine, 2000
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The Case For Management
Mentors • In a survey it was found that 73% of
organizations used mentoring, yet only 21% provided any guidance or training.
TrainingZone 12-Feb04
• “ A good …….mentor can make a massive difference to individual and organisational performance. But a bad one can be an ‘UNGUIDED MISSILE’ and do considerable damage”
TrainingZone 12-Feb-04
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Best Practices & Standards
• 8 Core Standards identified in:
– Design
– Implementation
– Matching
– Training
– Program Management
– Program Evaluation
– Quality Control
– Role of the Mentoring Program Manager
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Formal & Informal Mentoring
• Informal Mentoring
– Goals unspecified
– Outcomes unknown
– Access limited & may exclude employees
– Mentorees/Mentors self-select
– Mentoring lasts a long time
– No training/support
– Organization benefits indirectly
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Formal & Informal Mentoring
• Formal Mentoring
– Goals established
– Outcomes measured
– Access open to all who qualify
– Mentorees/Mentors matched
– Training and support provided
– Mentoring time limited (9-12 months.)
– Organization benefits directly
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R - RESPONSIBLE
A - APPROVE
S - SUPPORT (DOES THE WORK)
I - INFORM
C - CONSULT
LEGEND
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IDENTIFY POTENTIAL MARKET
IDENTIFY SURVEY POPULATION
DEVELOP SURVEY
TEST SURVEY ON SAMPLE
FINALIZE SURVEY
CONDUCT SURVEY
COLLECT SURVEY
ANALYZE DATA
REPORT RESULTS AND SUGGESTION
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RASIC Method
R - RESPONSIBLE
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S - SUPPORT (DOES THE WORK)
I - INFORM
C - CONSULT
LEGEND
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POWER REQUIREMENT ASSESSMENT
VENTILATIONS: ASSES CHEMICAL
COMPOSITION OF FUME/SMOKE
PROCESS WASTE MANAGEMENT:
TYPE OF FLUIDS, MAX DISCHARGE
VOLUME AND FLOW RATES
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R - RESPONSIBLE
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I - INFORM
C - CONSULT
LEGEND
RASIC Method
Ex: Listening to dinner conversation between two people in a restaurant. It was clear to us that neither could possibly know what the other was talking about, but they thought they did. You can have very “meaningful” conversations and arguments without ever knowing what the other person is talking about.
To demonstrate the approach, the therapist brought to the stage a woman who had a problem with her husband. She explained that he often had to work late at the office and, though he was very good about calling to let her know, she still felt annoyed about it. The session proceeded approximately as follows:
Therapist: Where does he call you from?
Client: His office.
Therapist: How do you know that?
Client: Well, he says he's still at his office.
Therapist: Could he have been calling from somewhere else?
Client: (in obvious growing distress) It's possible, I guess.
A technician is having a disciplinary problem. He often comes
late to work, often putting his supervisor in trouble. Even though
the supervisor is kind enough to cover up for the technician, the
news has gone to the higher management. The management
called the technician for inquiry:
Manager: The HR record shows that you came late to work for 5
times last month. How can you improve yourself?
Technician: I am sorry sir, I need to send my son to school every
morning that causes me the delay.
Manager: Do you think, the company should set precedence to
allow you to come late regularly?
Technician: No sir, I know it is not possible
Manager: Since you know it is not possible, How could you
promise that you will come on time to work?
Technician: I will try my level best to come early sir next time.
Manager: Is trying your best means there will be chances that
you will come late still?
Technician: No sir, I didn’t mean that way.
Manager: What action do you think the company should take if
you repeat the mistake again, please suggest?
Technician: No sir, I shall not repeat it again, promise!
Manager: ?????
Rahim’s (Manager): You are meeting with Ahmad – a supervisor who has
been with the Department for about six years and understands how to get
things done – to review his performance on a recent production project.
Ahmad is a skilled supervisor and works tirelessly. However, his people skills
are bad and the operators’ morale are on high time low and requiring
interference from Rahim.
You ask to meet with Ahmad to provide him with positive feedback and
guidance about the appropriate level of people management.
Ahmad (Employee): You were frustrated by Rahim’s constant interference in
your job. You wish that Rahim had more clearly explained what he was
expecting up front, as well as why explain why he is not happy with you for
doing your job well.
A state of anxiety that occurs when an
individual’s beliefs, feelings and
behaviors are inconsistent with one
another
Most common when behavior is: › known to others
› done voluntarily
› can’t be undone
An adaptive response to a situation that
is perceived as challenging or
threatening to the person’s well-being
A complex emotion that prepares us for
fight or flight
Eustress vs. distress
Stage 1
Alarm Reaction
Stage 2
Resistance
Stage 3
Exhaustion
Normal
Level of
Resistance
Behavioral
Psychological
Work performance, accidents,
absenteeism, aggression, poor
decisions
Dissatisfaction, moodiness,
depression, emotional fatigue
Physiological Cardiovascular disease,
hypertension, headaches
Stressors are the causes of stress -- any
environmental condition that places a
physical or emotional demand on the
person.
Some common workplace stressors
include:
› Harassment an incivility
› Work overload
› Low task control
Repeated and hostile or
unwanted conduct, verbal
comments, actions or gestures,
that affect an employee's
dignity or psychological or
physical integrity and that result
in a harmful work environment
for the employee
Unwelcome conduct -- detrimental
effect on work environment or job
performance
Quid pro quo
› employment or job performance is
conditional on unwanted sexual relations
Hostile work environment
› an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working
environment
Work Overload Stressor
›Working more hours, more intensely than one can
cope
›Affected by globalization, consumerism, ideal
worker norm
Task Control Stressor
›Due to lack control over how and when tasks
are performed
› Stress increases with responsibility
© Photodisc. With permission.
Different threshold levels of resistance to stressor
Use different stress coping strategies
Resilience to stress
› Due to personality and
coping strategies
Workaholism
› Highly involved in work
› Inner pressure to work
› Low enjoyment of work
Remove the stressor › Minimize/remove stressors
Withdraw from the stressor › Vacation, rest breaks
Change stress perceptions › Positive self-concept, humor
Control stress consequences › Healthy lifestyle, fitness, wellness
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