Stages of a Relationship Emotional Stages Development of a Love Relationship Six Stages of Love Couples Journey Stages 10 Stage Model of Interpersonal.
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Stages of a Relationship
Emotional Stages Development of a Love Relationship Six Stages of LoveCouples Journey Stages10 Stage Model of Interpersonal RelationshipsFive Stages from Beginning to End Stages of Marriage7 Types of Marriage
5 emotional stages – according to ages
1. 20-28: Getting into Adult World2. 29-34: Starting to question “Who
am I?”3. 35-43: Midlife scare – inner
changes4. 44-54: Rediscovering (apart of
together)5. 55+: Growth toward wisdom
Development of a Love Relationship(Jerry Braza)
Attraction: bring two people together, similarities draws them together. Differences allow them to grow.
Positive Feelings: most of the time when together. Strong feelings. Temporary and illusion (sometimes)
Development of a Love Relationship, cont.
Depth begins: Faith in each other begins to build Novelty continues/sexual attraction strong Communication is excellent, talk easily Little or no criticism, mutual discovery (feels
good) Stability: newness wears off
Develop rational strength through many activities
Openness is the KEY
Development of a Love Relationship, cont.
Crossroads #1 Assume friendship will last without any work
needed to keep it going Take each other for granted Don’t develop common interests (do most
things independently) Talk less and less – begin to be critical and
indifferent Tension increases, fighting, arguing – sex
becomes less enjoyable Relationship falls apart
Development of a Love Relationship, cont.
Crossroads #2 Develop and expand common interests Work at relationship/communication Do things for and with each other Shared journey Strong bond – can handle stress Relationship offers more fulfillment Lasting sexual enjoyment
Six Stages of LOVE (Judy & Jim Sellner)
1. ROMANCE: Love as a giddy, enthralling, passionate, and largely conflict-free condition.
2. EARLY COMMITMENT: high expectations, incomplete knowledge and understanding, the couple decide to become committed to each other.
Six Stages of LOVE, cont.
3. POWER STRUGGLE AND CONFLICT: the bloom is off the rose and reality starts to intrude, as two individual identities emerge.
4. RESOLUTION AND ACCEPTANCE: the couple learn how to confront each other constructively and resolve major hostilities.
Six Stages of LOVE, cont.
5. COMMITMENT OR ETHICAL LOVE: a transformation of emphasis from “What can this relationship do for me?” to “What can I do for this relationship?”
6. LOVE MADE VISIBLE or MATURE ROMANTICISM: you inspire each other to do creative things that have an effect on other people
Couples Journey Stages (Susan Campbell)
1. Romance: happily-ever-after2. Power struggle: accept each
other at end3. Stability: no risking, too
comfortable4. Commitment: love even though
don’t always like5. Co-creation: beyond relationship,
outer world
Couples Journey Stages (Berkeley Therapy Institute Stages)
1. Happy Time: romantic, enjoy togetherness
2. Conflict and Regrets: begins in disappointment, reality, disillusionment (question wisdom in being together), differences emerge, mutual disapproval
3. Reaching an Accord: give up blame, develop realistic expectation, mutual acceptance, accommodation, and attraction.
10 Stage Model of Interpersonal Relationships -Knapp
GROWTH Stages Initiating Stage
Impressions Checking out
Clothes Physical Attractiveness
Intelligence Testing Ideas Opinions Attitudes Beliefs
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
GROWTH Stages Experimenting Stage
Seeking common ground Testing the waters with self-disclosure Provide personal histories
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
GROWTH stages Intensifying Stage
Swap possessions clothes CDs
Use pet names for each other Increase self-disclosure Increase risks Increase openness
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
GROWTH stages Integrating Stage
Constantly nearby Share friends Others identify the dyad as a couple or
best friends
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
GROWTH stages Bonding Stage
Formal commitment Engagement Marriage Signing a lease Going into business together
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
DECLINE Stages Differentiating Stage
Focus on the differences Increased conflict Increased time apart
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
DECLINE Stages Circumscribing Stage
Superficial conversation Safe topics
Conflict avoidance Appear to be committed in public Focus on the relationship
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
DECLINE Stages Stagnating Stage
Lack of relationship growth Lack of communication on relationship Introduction of emotional pain
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
DECLINE Stages Avoiding Stage
Physical separation Direct communication Hostility Antagonism
Knapp’s 10 Stage Model (cont.)
DECLINE Stages Termination Stage
Preparation to end relationship Indication of trying to "work it out“ Possible transformation of relationship
Rules for new relationship Seeking alternatives
Transitional person End of Relationship
Levinger’s Theory that Relationships Pass through Five Stages from Beginning to End
Stage of Relationship:
INITIAL ATTRACTION
Positive Factors
Proximity and repeated exposure
Positive emotionsHigh affiliation need
and friendship motivation
Negative Factors
Absence of proximity and repeated exposure
Negative emotionsLow affiliation need
and friendship motivation
Stage of Relationship:BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP
Positive Factors
Equivalent physical attractiveness
Similarity of attitudes and other characteristics
Reciprocal positive evaluations
Negative Factors
Nonequivalent physical attractiveness
Dissimilarity of attitudes and other characteristics
Reciprocal negative evaluations
Stage of Relationship:CONTINUATION
Positive Factors
Seeking ways to maintain interest and variety
Providing evidence of positive evaluation
Absence of jealousyPerceived equityHigh level of mutual
satisfaction
Negative Factors
Falling into a rut and becoming bored
Providing evidence of negative evaluation
JealousyPerceived inequityLow level of mutual
satisfaction
Stage of Relationship:DETERIORATION
Positive Factors
Much time and effort invested in relationship
Work at improvement of relationship
Wait for improvement to occur
Negative Factors
Little time and effort invested in relationship
Decide to end relationship
Wait for deterioration to continue
Stage of Relationship:ENDING
Positive Factors
Existing relationship offers some rewards
No alternative partners available
Expect relationship to succeed
Commitment to a continuing relationship
Negative Factors
A new life appears to be the only acceptable solution
Alternative partners available
Expect relationship to fail
Lack of commitment to a continuing relationship
Six Stages of Marriage (Mel Krantzler)
1. Now we are a couple: high hopes, great expectations (3 years)
2. What’s happening to my career: concern with status, income, achievement
3. Here we are parents: caring environment, now more than a couple, change in relationships
Six Stages of Marriage, cont.
4. Suddenly we’re older: disenchantment, aging
5. Is the past my only future (50-65): in touch with self, accepted by spouse as is
6. Summing up: shared interests
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE
The following seven styles were based on a 125 question survey of 8,385 couples.
by David Olson, Professor of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. Published in the “Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.”
(from article in Salt Lake Tribune, 11/22/93)
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE
VITALIZED These couples are most satisfied with
marriage and feel comfortable with their spouse’s habits and personality. They rank particularly high on scales measuring ability to resolve conflict and communicate. They tend to be older, married longer, more educated and have higher incomes and job status. More husbands work part time, and fewer of them have two jobs.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
HARMONIOUS They score moderately high on resolving
conflict, communicating and accepting spouse’s habits and personality. But they have drastically lower consensus on issues involving parenting, although they frequently have only one child. They tend to be older, married for a shorter period of time and have the fewest children of any group. They are more educated and have higher status jobs, but men have lower incomes more often than expected and women earn more. More wives work full time and are less often unemployed.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
BALANCED These couples communicate well and
are satisfied with problem-solving strategies. They also have higher than average agreement on leisure activities, child-rearing issues and sexuality. They value their nuclear family and try to balance family life with outside interests. But financial management is a problem in the relationship.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
TRADITIONAL Couples fitting this profile were most satisfied
of all groups in how they handle children and parenting duties. They scored above average on conflict resolution, communication and acceptance of spouse’s habits and personality. Scores were even higher on the part religion plays in their marriage. They marry younger, have more children and the wives tend to work less than in other couples. Most have never considered divorce.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
CONFLICTED Moderately low scores overall with relatively
greater agreement on egalitarian roles in the marriage and making religion an important part of the relationship. Their lowest scores indicate difficulty communicating and resolving conflict. They have less education, lower income and job status and more religious differences. Many couples consider divorce, but they are no more likely to be separated or previously divorced than other couples.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
FINANCIALLY FOCUSED Money, or financial rewards, appear to
hold this type of couple together. They are dissatisfied with six other relationship issues. A majority of both partners have considered divorce.
7 TYPES OF MARRIAGE, cont.
DEVITALIZED Pervasively dissatisfied with their marriages,
these couple tend to be younger, less educated and have lower status occupations and incomes. More husbands have two jobs. Their acquaintance before marriage is shorter. They are more racially and religiously dissimilar. They are twice as likely to be separated as conflicted couples and 10 times more likely to be separated than other types. Also, 20 percent of the partners have been divorced previously.
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