Slytherin 101: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Slytherin 101Denise Paolucci

Dreamwidth Studiosdenise@dreamwidth.org

slides at: slideshare.net/dreamwidth

Positive traits

•Cunning

•Ambitious

•Clever

•Rational

Negative traits

•Overly complex

•Manipulative

•Self-centered

•“Rational”

“A Gryffindor will jump off a cliff. A Slytherin will push someone else off. A Hufflepuff will call in five hundred other Hufflepuffs, and they'll carve a stairway. And a Ravenclaw will get hold of a flying carpet.”Transfigurations, by Resonantao3.org/works/59676

“Smart kids in Ravenclaw, evil kids in

Slytherin, wannabe heroes in Gryffindor, and everyone who does the

actual work in Hufflepuff.”

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, by Eliezer Yudkowsky

hpmor.com

What a Slytherin wants

•Power: having your decisions respected

•Influence: having your wishes respected

•Optimization: exert the minimum effort necessary to achieve your goals

•Subtlety: keep attention on your goals and accomplishments, not on your methods

The route to achieving all those

goals:

People

People are complicated

And have no manual

But there are basic rules

•We are social creatures

•Our brains lie to us

•We fixate on things

•Even when we’re aware of the bugs in our brains, it’s incredibly hard to patch them

Also, we are vulnerable to cute things.

DISCLAIMER:Don’t be evil.

A lot of these techniques can be readily abused.

People tell themselves stories•People are the heroes of their own

stories

•It’s easier to work inside someone’s story than to work against it

•Stories can change over time

•Sometimes people’s stories don’t mesh with their actions; believe the story

Communication styles

•“Ask”/“Guess”, direct/indirect, qualified/confident, receptive/absolutist, and more

•Gendered, classed, geographic/dialectical

•When dealing with a mismatch: set expectations, raise awareness

Using communication

styles•To establish rapport, match styles

•To perform confidence, go slightly more direct

•To perform authority, go much more direct

•Not matching expectations can backfire

Build up relationships

•Spend time doing “social lubricant”

•Keep track of people as individuals

•Be human (and vulnerable) with people

•Authenticity > constructed persona

Rules for mediating disputes

•Don’t get in between the sides if the conflict hasn’t stopped yet

•Don’t side with each person against the other

• Look for points of empathy, but don’t fake them

Getting Commitment•Some of these can be Dark Arts; use

sparingly and with mindfulness

•People hate saying ‘no’ to a direct request: ask someone personally, and tell them why

•People hate looking bad: get the commitment in front of the group

•Give people something or do them a favor before you ask them to do something

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