Self in Interpersonal Communication

Self in Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 3, Part 1Devito 10th ed.

Chapter 3Who are you….really?

Objectives: Self-Concept

1. Define self-concept; explain how it develops.2. Explain how culture influences self-concept.3. Define & give examples of ego

boosters/busters.4. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.5. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.6. Explain why self-concept is often distorted.7. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be

changed.

I. Self-Concept

A. Definition1. How you view yourself;

self-image

2. Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses

3. Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.

B. How the Self-Concept Develops

1. Others’ Images of Youa. Looking Glass Selfb. Reflected Appraisal: c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters

2. Social Comparisonsa. Superior/Inferiorb. Same/Different

3. Cultural Teachings4. Your Own Interpretations &

Experiences

Other’s Images

Social Comparisons

Your Interpretations &

Evaluations

Cultural Teachings

Self ConceptConcept

Sources of Self Concept

Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise

• Recall an “ego booster” who helped enhance your self-esteem.

• Recall an “ego buster” from your life.• Recall a time when you were an

“ego booster” to someone else.• Recall a time when you were an

“ego buster”.

Cultural Influences on Self-ConceptIndividualistic Cultures

• Self is separate, unique indiv; should be inde-pendent, self-sufficient

• Should take care of self & immediate family

• Reward individual achievement; value individual decisions; individual credit/ blame

• Value autonomy, youth, change, individual security, equality

Collectivistic Cultures• Emphasize extended

families or in-groups; “we” orientation

• Should care for extend-ed family before self

• Reward contribution to group goals; group decisions valued; shared credit/blame

• Value--duty, order, tra-dition, age, group se-curity, status, hierarchy

C. Characteristics of Self-Concept

1. affects communication.2. is subjective.3. resists change.4. is flexible, if it is healthy.5. is multi-dimensional

The self-concept:

1. Self-concept affects communication.High Self-EsteemHigh Self-Esteem

1. Likely to think well of others2. Expect to be accepted 3. Evaluate own performance

more favorably4. Perform well when being

watched5. Work harder for those who

demand high standards6. Feel comfortable with those

perceived as superior7. Able to defend self against

criticism

Low Self-EsteemLow Self-Esteem1. Likely to disapprove of others2. Expect to be rejected3. Evaluate own performance

less favorably4. Perform poorly when being

watched5. Work harder for undemand-

ing less critical people6. Feel threatened by those

perceived as superior7. Have difficulty defending self

against criticism; easily influenced

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

1. We make a prediction based on a belief.

2. We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true.

3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true.

4. We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.

a. Obsolete information

b. Distorted feedbackc. Emphasis on

perfectiond. Social expectations:

Modesty vs. “Egotism”

2. The self-concept is subjective.

a. Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows it’s obsolete

b. Cling to negative outmoded self-perception—whether negative or positive

c. Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth

3. The self-concept resists change.

“Can’t” Exercise• Write a sentence which states

something you can’t do.• Cross out the “can’t” and replace it

with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”.• How does this change the meaning

of this sentence?• What does this have to do with self-

concept?

a. We change:-from moment to moment.-from situation to situation.-over longer periods of time.

b. We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.

4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.

Changing the Self-Concept

• Have realistic expectations• Strive for a realistic

perception of yourself• Have the will to change• Develop the skill to change

The self-concept is multidimensional.The self-concept is multidimensional.

• PRIVATEPRIVATE ME• Perceived self • Person you believe yourself

to be.• IDEALIDEAL ME

• Desired self• Picture of person you wish

you were

• PUBLICPUBLIC ME• Presenting self• Face you try to show others

5. The self-concept is multidimensional.

Defining My Three Selves Exercise

• Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be.

• Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be.

• Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others.

• Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.

(Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)

1. Explain the Johari window.2. Compare & contrast Johari window for two

different relationships.3. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.4. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.5. List & explain guidelines for responding to

self-disclosures of others.

Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem

II. Self-Awareness• Johari Window -- a tool that

represents your communication behaviors

Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate.

Known to Not Known Self to Self

Known to Others

Not Knownto Others

Johari Window

Open Self

Blind Self

HiddenSelf

UnknownSelf

III. Self-Esteem – your own evaluation of worth

A. Attack your self- destructive beliefs.

B. Engage in self-affirmation.

C. Seek out nourish-

ing people.

E. Work on projects that will result in success.

CLUES?

IV. Self-Disclosure -- sharing previously unknown personal information with another

A. Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure

1. Who You Are

2. Culture

3. Gender

4. Your Listeners

5. Topic

WOMEN

MEN

Weigh the rewards against the risks before deciding to self-

disclose.

B. Rewards of Self-Disclosure

1. Get to know self better

2. Increases communication effectiveness

3. Increases physiological health

C. Dangers of Self-Disclosure

1. Personal risks

2. Relational risks

3. Professional risks

Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website

Guidelines for Self-Disclosure

• Consider the:–motivation.–appropriateness.–disclosures of the other.–possible burdens.

Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosures of Others

• Use active listening skills.• Support & reinforce the discloser.• Keep disclosures confidential.• Do not use disclosures as

weapons.

Objectives: Apprehension

1. Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension.

2. List 7 apprehensive behaviors.3. List & explain 7 influences on

apprehension.4. Explain how cultural differences impact

apprehension.5. Briefly describe 3 apprehension

management theories.

V. Apprehension

A. Nature of comm. apprehension1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation3. State apprehension--specific to a

given comm. situation

B. Apprehensive Behaviors1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm.2. Less willing to volunteer3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating4. Talk less & avoid leadership5. Disclose less6. Avoid jobs requiring comm.7. Less likely to get job interviews

C. Influences on comm. apprehension1. Degree of evaluation

2. Subordinate status3. Degree of conspicuousness4. Degree of unpredictability5. Degree of dissimilarity6. Prior success & failures7. Lack of comm. skills & experience

D. Culture & apprehension

1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity

2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices

3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation

E. Apprehension Management Theories

1. Cognitive RestructuringCognitive Restructuring--change unreal- istic beliefs which cause fear of failure

2. Systematic DesensitizationSystematic Desensitization--unlearn apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior

3. Skill AcquisitionSkill Acquisition--a. Prepare & practiceb. Focus on successc. Familiarize yourself w/situationd. Try to relax

The End

Presenting Self?

NOT!!!!!NOT!!!!!Appropriate Self-Disclosure?

Surveys/Exercises• *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self-

Disclosure• Self-Concept Scales• Locus of Control Scales • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons &

stories• Self-Actualization Survey• Self-Disclosure Survey• Self-Monitoring Survey