Self-Coaching & Culture, September 2014
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Self-coaching
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
& cultureSeptember 12, 2014
Ed Batista
Concepts #1Self-coaching
Self-engagement
Mindset
Emotion management
Mindfulness
Coaching team
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
Self-coaching
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
99% of coaching = self-coaching
Not a solitary experience
But self-directed
ReadMore
Self-engagement
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
ReadMore
Starting point
Two aspects
1. An attitude toward ourselves
2. A dialogue with ourselves
Self-engagement
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Open to learning
Capable of change
A work in progress
Growth mindset*
Attitude
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Carol Dweck
Perceptions shape reality
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset
Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
ReadMore
Talent & intelligence are inherent traits
Mistakes are failures or character flaws
Negative emotional response to mistakes
Talent & intelligence can be developed
Mistakes are learning opportunities
Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more
Fixed Growth
Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
ReadMore
Step outside our experience
Observe ourselves and reflect
Alone and with others
Regular practices
Dialogue
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Practical steps
Observe our mindset
Dedicate time for reflection
After-action reviews and journaling
Coaching conversations*
Self-engagement
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Emotionmanagement
Regulation ≠ suppression
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
Emotionmanagement
Four stages
1. Sense
2. Understand
3. Disclose
4. Express
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
Emotionmanagement
1. Sense
Physiological experiences
Physical self-awareness
Know our “tells”
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
Emotionmanagement
2. Understand
Conscious knowledge
Label and name (Vocabulary matters)
See our patterns
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
ReadMore
Emotionmanagement
3. Disclose
Can I talk about feelings?
With you? Here?
Culture and norms matter*
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
ReadMore
Emotionmanagement
4. Express
Emotions influence
Using our complete toolkit
Taking action
AND refraining from action
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
Emotionmanagement
Practical steps
Self-care (exercise and sleep)
Talking about feelings
Mindfulness*
Photo by Samantha Marx [link]
MindfulnessNon-judgmental
awareness
and acceptance
of experience
MindfulnessTHE self-development tool
Critical to emotion management
Executive function
MindfulnessMeditation
A workout, not a break
Neuroplasticity
Impact in just a few minutes…
…with regular practice
ReadMore
MindfulnessMeditation
Journaling
Time in nature
Regular reflective practice
MindfulnessPractical steps
Meditate 1 minute a day
(Increase over time; commitment is
key)
3 bullets at the beginning & end of the
day
Spend 1 hour a week in nature
Coaching teamNot a solitary experience
We need partners
Borrow a pre-frontal cortex
Key is knowing what we need
Photo by Mitch Barrie [link]
Coaching teamPractical steps
Use your colleagues
“10 minutes of questions”
It takes practice
Photo by Mitch Barrie [link]
Concepts #2Feedback-rich culture
Safety, trust, intimacy
Stress management
Positive feedback
Normalcy
Accountability
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
Feedback-richculture
Individual skills ≈ genes
Environment determines their expression
Feedback is a function of culture
Photo by Kennisland [link]
Feedback-richculture
Norms determine the culture
And YOUR behavior sets the norms
Individual skill = necessary but
insufficient
Photo by Kennisland [link]
ReadMore
Safety, trust
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
& intimacy
Safety, trustTHE foundation
Safety = Will we hurt each other?
Trust = Do we believe each other?
Intimacy = Can we make the private
public?
& intimacy
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
ReadMore
Safety, trustThink about this team
What behaviors make it safer?
What behaviors make it less safe?
What behaviors build trust?
What behaviors erode trust?
& intimacy
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
Safety, trustPractical steps
Invest in relationships
(Emotional bank accounts)
Respect—and expand—your comfort zone
Make it OK to say “Not now”
& intimacy
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
Stressmanagement
Feedback is stressful
Critical to reduce stress (our own &
others’)
Stressmanagement
Remember our models
SCARF
Avoid triggering a threat response in
others
Reframe and manage our own threat
responseReadMore
Stressmanagement
Remember our models
The net
Don’t assume we know their intention
Don’t assume we know their response
Focus on behavior and disclose OUR
response
Positive feedbackOften unsaid
Missed opportunities
Balance over time is key
Express more heartfelt appreciation
ReadMore
Positive feedbackPractical steps
Start small
Praise effort and persistence
Offer some positive feedback…and stop
NormalcyMake feedback normal
Not a performance review
Leaders = role models
You make it OK (or not)
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
NormalcyPractical steps
Don’t wait for special occasions
Work in public
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
Accountability
Photo by Hector Alejandro [link]
AccountabilityWe can empathize
AND hold others accountable
We can offer support
AND challenge people to grow
AccountabilityThe ultimate goal
Efficient learning and growth
With minimal stress
AccountabilityBut hold yourselves accountable
Be transparent
Ask for feedback
(Subordinates won’t offer it unless you
ask)
To sum up99% of coaching is self-coaching
Mindset & emotion management
Mindfulness & reflection
Your coaching team
To sum upThe culture matters
Norms set the culture
Safety, trust, intimacy
Stress management
Make feedback normal
Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Thanks &good-bye!
www.edbatista.com
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