Rifq / Gentleness

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Rifq: Rifq: Toward aToward a

Gentler CommunityGentler CommunityBy Taha Ghayyur

Master and the She-Camel

What is Rifq?

•Rifq: Defined as Gentleness, Kindness& Forbearance•Gentleness: Quality of True Character in many traditions•Opposite of Anger, Rudeness & Aggression•Aristotle: “Justified and properly focused anger is named mildness or gentleness”•In medieval times, Gentleness was associated with higher social classes: hence the terms gentleman, gentlewoman and gentry.

What is Rifq?

•Rifq can also be described in Arabic as Hilm (Clemency) & Anaah (Tolerance)

•Ra-Fa-Qa Rifq (Gentleness) Yarfuqu or Rifqan (to be useful) Raafaqa or Murafaqa (to accompany) Rafeeq (companion) Murtafiqan (resting place) Mirfaq (elbow)

What is Rifq?

Rahmah(Mercy)

Sabr (Patienc

e)

Rifq(Gentlenes

s)

Rifq(Gentlenes

s)

Weakness in Standing

up for Truth

Rifq(Gentlenes

s)Lack of

Confidence

Rifq(Gentlenes

s)

Anti-Social

Behaviour

Ikhlas(Sincerit

y)

Rifq(Gentlenes

s)

Naivety or

Foolishness

Why Rifq Matters?

1. Allah is Ar-Rafiq: Divine Quality

Why Rifq Matters?

2. Allah Reminds the Prophet to be

Gentle & Forgiving (at a Critical Time)

Why Rifq Matters?

3. Allah & the Prophet Spoke Highly of Those Who Repress Anger

Why Rifq Matters?

4. Two Qualities Beloved to God

Why Rifq Matters?

5. Allah Loves Rifq, Only Rewards Rifq & Doesn’t Reward Harshness

Why Rifq Matters?

6. Gentleness Beautifies, Harshness Leaves Ugliness & Defect

Why Rifq Matters?

7. Gentleness at Home – Gift from Allah!

Why Rifq Matters?

8. No Gentleness, No Goodness!

Why Rifq Matters?

9. Hellfire Forbidden for the Accessible, Gentle & Easy-Going

Why Rifq Matters?

10. Make it Easy, Not HardWelcome, Not Repel

Why Rifq Matters?

11. Gentleness is a Universal Language

Why Rifq Matters?

12. Gentleness = Strength

Why Rifq Matters?

13. Gentleness & Compassion are Like Muscles that can be Trained - Study

Why Rifq Matters?

14. Gentleness is Contagious: 3-Way Positive Effect - Study

Why Rifq Matters?

15. Kindness & Health Benefits•Children & Kindness: Happier; Increased Popularity; More Friends; Better Academic Performance; Positive Behaviour; Less Bullying•Random Acts of Kindness Help Mental Health•Gentleness and Random Acts of Kindness can Release the Stress•“Pay it Forward” Pays Off

What Happens When Rifq is Missing?

• Negativity • Mental Stress• Harshness &

Rudeness• Insensitivity• Spiritual

Weakness• Lack of Empathy• Lack of

Compassion• Uncontrolled

Anger• Aggression• Ego• Racism

• Disrespect• Name-calling• Sarcasm / Taunt• Divorce• Disunity• Violence• Domestic Abuse• Bullying• Crime• War• Terrorism

Why is Rifq Diminishing Today?

• “Busy” Lifestyle• Cut-Throat

Competition• Culture of Instant

Gratification• Video Games • Negative News• Violence in

Movies & Cartoons

• Lack of Humility• Lack of Sincerity

• Minimal Connection with Humans

• Minimal Connection with Nature

• Minimal Connection with Disadvantaged

• “Me, Myself & I” Culture – Youtube, Facebook & Selfies

• Schooling• Parenting

How to Become a Gentler Community

1. Study & Emulate the Exemplar of Rifq

How to Become a Gentler Community

2. Smile: It’s a Sunnah, Free & Irresistible!

How to Become a Gentler Community

3. Be Positive: Thought, Language, Tone & Gestures

How to Become a Gentler Community

4. Soften Your Heart with Dhikr (Remembrance) & Sadaqa (Giving)

How to Become a Gentler Community

5. Practice Random Acts of Kindness

How to Become a Gentler Community

6. Encourage, Appreciate & Reward Gentleness at Home, School, Work...etc.

How to Become a Gentler Community

7. Have Zero-Tolerance for Disrespect, Mocking, Rudeness & Hurt to ANYONE

How to Become a Gentler Community

8. Spend More Quality Time with Humans & Nature

How to Become a Gentler Community

9. Reduce Time with Digital Gadgets & News – Screen Time Rude Behaviour

How to Become a Gentler Community

10. Remember: Allah’s Mercy Partly Depends on Your Gentleness & Compassion

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