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WELCOME
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Relapse“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins – he will confess them and forsake them.” D & C 58:43
In The Miracle of Forgiveness, Pres. Kimball tells us that until we can face and turn away from previous sins, we haven’t fully repented.
All 12 step programs practice
Faith in God (Step 1-3)
Repentance (Steps 4-11)
Serving others (Step 12)
Today’s Goals
• Outline 12-step repentance
• Present Evidence
• Common elements of addictive behaviors
• Most effective inventory method
5
7 8
9
10
11
4
6
TRUT H
CON FESS ION
TEST ING
WILLINGN ESS HU MI L IT Y
AME NDS
SEE K INGGOD’S WILL
CO NT INUI NGINV ENTORY
4th Step the Key
• Pic of BB open to pages 64-65
There is no PROOF!
• MY EXPERIENCE
28 YEARS
Before Process (BP)
11 Years
After Process (AP)
17 Years
2 meetings/week1160 meetings
BP1160 RELAPSES
1740 meetings AP
12 RELAPSES
• Why not everyone?
The Road Less Traveled
• It’s HARD!!!• A lot of WORK• Lots of nay sayers• Takes a long time• Gut Wrenching• NO EXCUSES!
SUBSTITUTION
• GROWING WITH THE PROGRAM
• 50 OR 100/200 LBS
• 50 = OVER-EATING
• 100 = GIRL FRIEND
• 200 = BOY FRIEND
I have now presented my evidence
We’ll take a brief recess to review and answer questions
The Savior tells us, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
Most addicts know they are addicts but that truth doesn’t stop them from acting on their addictions.
What is the truth that will set me free?
FREEDOM=WHY do I
do the things I
do?
• Humans are complex!
• Baa jillions of reasons. Right?
•WRONG!
• Only TWO reasons.
2
FEAR FAITH
Good Behavior
FAITH
FEAR
Bad Behavior
FEAR
FAITH
There are only a handful of channels through which human beings respond to any situation.
How Do Fear or Faith Drive Us?
–Self-esteem–Security (financial & physical)
–Ambitions–Personal relationships
–Sexual relationships
– SELF-PRESERVATION
HUMAN INSTINCTS
Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance
Why does someone put in the effort to develop her personal talents, whatever they are?
Self-esteem.
Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance
Why do fathers work long hours to provide for their families?
Security, both financial and
physical.
Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance
Why do people strive to learn more and to do more in their lives.
Ambitions.
Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance
Why do people adjust their behavior to accommodate other people?
Personal relationships.
Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance
Why do people get married?
Personal and sex relationships.
Examples of Instincts Out of Balance
Why does someone put in the effort to develop his personal talents, whatever they are?
Narcissism
Examples of Instincts Out of Balance
Why do fathers work long hours to provide for their families?
Examples of Instincts Out of Balance
Why do people strive to learn more and to do more in their lives?
Driven by pride
Examples of Instincts Out of Balance
Why do people adjust their behavior to accommodate other people?
Control – domination - dependence
Examples of Instincts Out of Balance
Why do people get married?
Philandering – pornography – etc.
Why the Difference?
• Narcissism
• Work-aholism
• Driven by pride
• Control – domination - dependence
• Philandering – pornography – etc.
• Fear of – being flawed, not good enough
• Fear of – not being financially or physically secure
• Fear of – not being good enough, not being better than
• Fear of – not getting what I want or losing what I do have
• Fear of – not being lovable, not being trusted, rejection
FEAR IS THE BASIS OF ALL SIN.
You say the church encourages and inspires us all to have greater faith…
WHY NOT ADDICTS?
REVIEW
FEAR starts all sin
Fear filters through our INSTINCTS
What isn’t he seeing yet?
He isn’t seeing how his behaviors are the result of fears filtering through the pathways of his instincts.
Almost every thought, emotion, word, and deed has been distorted by his
fears.
• He isn’t seeing how fear is causing him to desperately overreach to fulfill his instinctive needs.
He isn’t seeing that he has never trusted God enough to simply live the commandments and let God fulfill His promises.
• These are the insights that will break the pattern of lies keeping him trapped in addiction.
SELF-DECEPTION
• Chronic self-deception
• Prevents unaided discovery
• Help is needed from – God– Sponsor
Facilitating FormatPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dihe shonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Facilitating FormatResentments
Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Why Resentment?
• “And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, between thy seed and her seed…” Moses 4:21
Enmity“A state or feeling of hostility.”
•A Gift from God
REPENTANCE
Enmity - A Red Flag
Facilitating FormatResentments
Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Facilitating FormatIncidents
Dad Incident 1 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 2 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 3 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 4 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 5 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 6 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 7 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Mom Incident 1 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidMom Incident 2 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidMom Incident 3 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidKathy Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPhilip Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidNeil Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidRuth Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidGod Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Myself Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPolice Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
The church Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPolitical parties Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidTeachers unions Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Speed limits Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidLaw of chastity Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Word of wisdom Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidHonesty Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Facilitating FormatInstincts
Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Facilitating FormatSelfish
Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid
Please Listen
• IMPORTANT
SEX RELATIONS INVENTORY
• Saved for last
• Evokes the most fear
• Previous work has prepared us
• Nothing to fear – nothing graphic
Final Questions
•My Testimony
Thank You
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