Learning Pool: Work life balance 1 the secrets to building confidence resilience & motivation
Post on 19-Oct-2014
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Confidence,
Resilience
& Motivation
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The key to all three is:
Story.
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My Story
From unfulfilling job, feeling trapped,being own worst critic,
having “brittle” confidence...
...to rewarding career(s), feeling free,being own best friend,
having real, lasting confidence
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Your Story?
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Confidence:
Before & After
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“Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're probably right.”
Henry Ford
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Confidence:
Worth + Ability
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What personality traits are you proudest of?
What would your best friend say was the best thing about you?
What skills are you proudest of?
What achievements are you proudest of?
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Blame v. Responsibility:
My BusinessYour BusinessAny Other Business
[Adapted from “Loving What Is”, Byron Katie]
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What personality traits would you like to develop?
What skills would you like to develop?
What values would you like to honour more?
What would you like other people to see in you?
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Who do you most admire?
What is it you admire most about them?
Do you already have this?
Do you want to develop this in yourself?
How could you emulate them?
Fake it – but only until you make it yours!
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Leave your comfort zone.
Regularly.
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Regarding doubt / warnings / advice you don't want:
Remember it is usually well-meant
...And it is sometimes well-judged
Appreciate the concern behind it
Try not to be defensive
“Thanks for that, I'll certainly think about it”, or
“I'm happy with my decision but thanks for your concern”
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Regarding criticism:
“Do you think so? That's interesting.”
In your own time, consider it for value
Keep / act on anything useful
Ditch anything else!
There is no failure – only feedback
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...That goes for self-criticism too!
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Other people may be scared of your changes.
Other people may be jealous of your changes.
Other people might say you're not
capable of change.
That's them – NOT YOU!
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Resilience:
Before & After
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“Resilience is the human capacity to deal with, overcome, learn from or even
be transformed by adversity”
[Edith H. Grotberg,1999]
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Attitude: thoughts, feelings, behaviours
Flexible thinking: choose your story
Determination to fully experience & grow
Perspective: mountain or molehill?
Find lesson or opportunity
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Prioritise – 'me' time and space is crucial
Say no without guilt
Say yes without fear (and even with it)
Get rid of 'should'
Use your energy for 'my business'
Accept that resilience is not constant or universal – go easy on yourself
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Vulnerability:
Risks v Benefits?
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Emotions – use as a guide
Don't bottle up or blot out
Look for thought behind the emotion
Choose a more supportive thought (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
Prioritise your values
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Create an exciting, inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be
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Support & resources?
Inner and Outer
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Enough Sleep (beat rumination)
Healthy diet – plenty of water
Exercise
“Interval training” - build in recovery
Supportive breathing
Meditation
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Family & Friends
Professionals
Forums, support groups
Books, articles, websites, courses, podcasts, etc
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Motivation:
Before & After
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Story:
“What sort of person am I,what sort of situation is this, andwhat does a person like me do
in a situation like this?”
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New story?
Create an exciting, inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be
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The Rider, the Elephant and the Path
(Rational, emotional & environmental components)
[“Switch!” - Chip & Dan Heath]
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Surround yourself with positive people.
Don't share your dreams with negative people.
Learn to 'firewall'.
This is your life – no-one else's!
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Your life is what you make it,
not what happens to you.
Own it.
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Recommended Reading
Developing Resilience: A Cognitive Behavioural
Approach - Michael Neenan
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
Loving What Is - Byron Katie
Switch! - Chip & Dan Heath
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Recommended Reading (continued)
Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in
Everyday Life - Thich Nhat Hanh
Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing
the Way You Think - Christine A Padesky and Dennis
Greenberger
Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power,
Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams – Debbie Ford
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Send your questions and comments to tracy@soulambition.co.uk
For ideas, inspiration,
useful links and motivation:
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