It's Thought That Counts.
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© 2010 Copyright Chantal Beaupre
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Ali Brown The Great Power of Optimism 4
Ariane de Bonvoisin Come On, Get Happy 9
Carolyn Ellis Divorce Your Inner Critic 14
Chantal Beaupre It’s The Thought That Counts! 17
Eva Gregory Freeing the Voice Within 22
Guy Finley Living in Harmony with Reality 25
Hemal Radia The Secret to Your Light 28
Jackie Jones Happiness is Your Choice 33
Jeanna Gabellini What’s Your Stress Tolerance? 37
Jeanne Hounshell Is There a Silver Lining in Every Cloud? 40
Jim Donovan Your Life is What You Make of It 43
Joe Rubino How to Reclaim Your Life’s Happiness by Demolishing the #1 Self-Esteem Killer
47
Kathleen Gage Surrender to Know Deep Fulfillment 51
Kelly Sullivan Walden What If? 56
Linda Boertjens How to Apply the Power of Positive Affirmations the Most Effective Way
61
Lorraine Cohen Are You Flowing Downstream or Upstream? 65
Maria Erving How Are You Thinking Today? 69
Mary Allen 7 Keys to Profound Happiness 73
Michael Lee How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts in 3 Simple Steps
80
Mudd Lavoie I Spy with my Little Eye 83
Nina Ferrell Private Journey 88
Pat Mussieux When is the Last Time You Had Fun? 91
Pete Koerner 5 Simple Steps to Happiness Now 95
Sheri Kaye Hoff Your Path to Success 99
Tania Boutin Happiness and the Power of Your Thoughts 102
Chantal Beaupre Acknowledgements 105
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THE GREAT POWER OF OPTIMISM
Ali Brown
The power and force of optimism can never be underestimated. In fact, your personal
development and growth over your lifetime depends upon it. When you are able to
see the positive in every situation, you are better equipped to recognize and take
advantage of opportunities that come your way. In other words, you are more able to
spring into positive action in the face of life's challenges. Plenty of research has been
done that shows how optimism plays a big role in higher achievement.
Perhaps the most significant aspect of optimism is its power to transform the
negative thoughts in our heads. Negative self-talk completely limits our ability to think
creatively and get ourselves out of sticky situations. When we push forward in the
face of negative self-talk, we are practicing optimism. Positive self-talk greatly
increases our chances of success and of moving forward in tough situations. The
very fuel of success is our optimistic belief that we can impact situations and play a
role in the outcome of our lives. When things begin to look dark and your mind is
concocting every possible negative outcome, look for the rainbow of optimism that is
always available in your mind.
"Live Long and Prosper"
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There are so many aspects of your life that can be positively impacted with optimism.
Success in relationships, working environments, finances, and health are all
incredibly sensitive to your level of optimism. Take, for instance, sales: A study of the
sales personnel at Metropolitan Life Insurance were tested for optimism and success
ratios. Those who scored the highest level of optimism sold a whopping 37 percent
more life insurance than those who scored as pessimists (Seligman, 1990). There
was another study done on debt collectors in a large, competitive agency. The most
successful collectors in the agency were shown to have much higher scores in the
areas of optimism, independence, and self-actualization (Bachman et al., 2000).
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One very significant study shed light on the power of optimism to nourish healthy
relationships, physical vitality, and longevity. In the famous book by Dr. George E.
Vaillant called The Wisdom of the Ego, the Harvard medical professor talks about
individuals who have "both the capacity to be bent without breaking and the capacity,
once bent, to spring back." Vaillant talks about our greatest source of resilience
coming from our internal capacity for optimism.
In Dr. Vaillant's next book, Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life, he
takes it even a step further. The Doctor conducts three studies with 800 people of all
different backgrounds and genders who were researched for 50 years of their lives.
The study followed them from adolescence through old age, and it was discovered
that the most important factor involved in healthy aging was each one's ability to
"make lemonade out of life's lemons." That is the very simplest definition of optimism!
Research is still coming in proving that optimism is a huge factor in increasing
longevity. The last study done at Wageningen University in the Netherlands took 999
old Dutch men and women. The predicting factor of their longevity was their
agreement with the statement, "I still have goals to strive for." When subjects were
tested 9 years after their survey, the death rates of the optimistic men were 63
percent lower than those who had not agreed with the optimistic statement 9 years
earlier. Women were 35 percent lower. What makes the difference between
optimistic and pessimistic people in terms of longevity? It's generally believed that the
optimists avoided unhealthy life choices that pessimists might have gone for.
Our Optimistic Nation
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It is said that America was born in the spirit of optimism. After all, Thomas Jefferson
coined the term life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which is the very nature of
optimism. The Puritans valued self-help and optimism. The Godly life they pursued
was one that was built on the belief in themselves and in their society. Benjamin
Franklin was the great captain of individualism and self-industry. His value placed on
perseverance and self-initiative is still great inspiration for optimism today. In fact, the
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spirit of this nation is built upon the idea of the self-made man. This kind of man
knows no bounds. When life throws him for a loop, he gets on his horse like a true
cowboy and rides off to save the day. The founders of America were practicing
optimists—it was their religion.
As Americans, we naturally believe in happy endings. The American author Mary
McCarthy once said a "happy ending is our national belief." Our culture is naturally
very optimistic compared to other countries. McCarthy makes reference in one of her
books to famous children's stories like The Little Engine That Could. "I think I can, I
think I can" is what the train chants as it chugs along with self-assurance. Optimism
is thoroughly built into U.S. culture, and it has been from the very beginning.
So if a nation as big and prosperous as the U.S. was built on optimism, what could
the power of optimism do in our individual lives? The fact of the matter is that
everyone suffers and experiences tragedy—these things are naturally a part of life as
we know it, whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual. The good news about our
problems is that they're relative. There's always someone who has it worse. Things
always could have been more terrible. When we address problems effectively and
with optimism, we are able to see life's roughest challenges in a new light. We are
able to see what's possible amidst what seems never ending and horrible.
Look to the Future
There's a lot of buzz these days around the whole concept of the Law of Attraction,
which states if you feel the positive outcome you wish to achieve and believe it will
come to pass, you will eventually attract that reality into your life. This is a fancy form
of optimism. When you are optimistic, you believe that there will be a positive
outcome. When you believe that there will be a positive outcome, you are more likely
to act in the positive manner that will bring about the outcome you hope for. The
future is said to be determined by whether a person strives or yields. With optimism,
you always push ahead and therefore achieve what you're looking for.
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There was an interesting study done by Robert Shuman in 1979 that speaks about
the loss of optimism. When Shuman was practicing psychology at a children's
hospital, he suffered from great mental torment and was hospitalized for back pain.
He was later diagnosed with debilitating multiple sclerosis. He fell into a state of great
helplessness, anguish, and torment, and decided to document these feelings that he
knew so many others in similar chronic situations were plagued with. His notes
culminated in his book, The Psychology of Chronic Illness. Shuman's book was
significant because it brought to our understanding how chronic illness with no cure
ruins optimism in individuals—perhaps for the rest of their lives. Once power over our
own lives is lost, our optimism is lost as well.
The power of optimism is the power to successfully navigate and overcome life's
greatest challenges. Optimism can be learned. You need not be a born optimist to
experience the benefits of optimism. In reality, optimism is a choice that we can all
make. We all have the power to observe our negative thoughts and compulsive
actions. We have the power to be aware of ourselves and our past that influences
our current actions. When we are finally able to clearly see what we are doing and
understand what we are thinking, we then have the power to choose optimism.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ali Brown is fast becoming regarded as the voice for
women in business and success.
After launching her first business from her tiny New York
City studio apartment in 1999, she has grown it into what
is today Ali International, a multimillion-dollar enterprise
with 50,000 members that ranked in 2009’s Inc. 500 list of
fastest growing private companies in the nation.
Ali is dedicated to helping women start and grow their
own businesses via her coaching and publishing company the Millionaire Protégé
Club; her female-centric Ali Magazine; her online Ali Boutique; and Shine, her
annual fall conference where Ali delivers the best in business-building strategies for
entrepreneurs of all levels.
Website: www.AliBrown.com
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COME ON, GET HAPPY
Ariane de Bonvoisin
Happiness isn't a shapeless myth that hippies throw around like a Frisbee. Research
shows that happy people not only have a better attitude in life, but they tend to be
healthier and live longer. One study from University College London showed that
happiness improves certain bodily functions that help prevent cardiovascular disease
and diabetes. And a Yale University study found that optimists live more than seven
years longer than pessimists.
Being happier isn't all about money, parties, and social status. If you pay attention to
doing things that make you happier, keep an open mind, and put in the effort, you
can be well on your way to loving your life in 30 days. So go ahead and smile,
because you're about to embark on a change that can only end in sheer delight.
Training Your Brain
Being happier starts with priming your brain to think happier or positive thoughts.
"Whether you like it or not, facts are facts. You might not enjoy the fact you're facing,
but you can control your emotional response to it. Do it with a positive attitude and
you'll get through it a lot quicker than if you agonize and lament over it," says Michael
Anthony, author of the eBook, How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World.
Louise Bluth,* a 37-year-old sales manager, found it difficult to be happier after living
through an abusive childhood. "I was always told that I was a failure and a loser, and
that I was the shame of the family," she says.
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She decided she didn't deserve to be that unhappy and started volunteering for a
suicide helpline. Her training stressed the concept of getting into the mind of a
suicidal person to be able to show them possible solutions to their problems. "This
proved to me that your state of mind could be changed, and so you can become
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happier," she says. Louise started taking Buddhist meditation classes, where she
further learned how to prime her mind for happiness. "I learned that my happiness
was up to me," she says.
It's hard to change your mindset overnight, so you might have to draw your positive
brain waves out of hiding. One way to do this is by reciting a daily affirmation or a
mantra. This statement can be repeated daily to get your brain ready to think happier
thoughts.
Fear of Living Happier
There's a fear of failure that people encounter when it comes to being happier. Fear
can make you revert to some old, unhealthy habits and behaviors just to enjoy that
comfortable feeling again.
"Recognize that fear, recognize that you're human and just put it aside," says Debbie
Gisonni, author of The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly
Balance and Bliss. "Don't think about it. Instead of thinking about what could happen,
keep focusing on what you want to happen."
Another way to handle the fears of being happier is through volunteer work. As
Anthony says, when you're helping others, "you're being very positive with your time
and then there's that satisfaction—the feeling of greatness that comes from helping
others."
When Scott Harrison decided to change his life to be happier, he never realized that
he would question everything he held true. In 2004, the New York City resident
realized that his work promoting nightclubs and fashion events was utterly unfulfilling.
"I was one of the most miserable people I knew," he says.
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In order to live a happier life, Scott changed his life drastically. He re-examined his
faith and volunteered a year of service as a photographer for Mercy Ships, a non-
profit that offers free medical care to poor countries around the world.
"I had to see 5,000 people standing in a field with horrible tumors, cleft lips and
palates, the blind, the lame," he says. "I cried a lot, I prayed a lot, and I doubted a lot,
too. How could a God allow this stuff to happen?"
These tragedies didn't stop Scott from continuing to pursue his dream of helping
others. "I was lucky to be able to focus on what we could do—on the thousands of
lives we could and did radically transform," he explains. His change was so
successful that he started his own non-profit called "Charity," and Scott feels that he's
happiest when he's helping others.
Helpful Happiness Tips
"Active gratitude—counting your blessings and actually taking time during the day to
do so—is probably the single most important habit," says David Leonhardt, known as
"The Happy Guy" and author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: The 9 Habits of
Maximum Happiness. "From the paperclip to our cars to our health to our freedoms—
if we don't actively appreciate it, then we're not going to get all the happiness out of
any other habit or any other change we make."
Being grateful helped Katsuaki Tsukamoto be happier. The 35-year-old carpenter
had always felt a bit of emptiness in his life. "I thought I needed to have something or
own something to make me happy," he says.
He had an epiphany while on a bike ride one beautiful day. "I suddenly realized that
my bicycle was a gift, but more than that, I started feeling that everything was a gift in
some sense," he says. "I really felt appreciation for the miracle of the moment and
was grateful that I could experience it."
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For many, this epiphany doesn't come naturally in the first 30 days. A gratitude
journal documenting everything you're grateful for can often help remind you of all the
good things in your life. Every day, simply write three to five things that you
appreciated about that day.
Happier Living
Your success in the first 30 days and beyond will be dependent on how well you
make time for the things that make you happy. Whether it's completing a Sudoku
puzzle, catching up with a friend, or painting, you should always strive for a balance
between the things you have to do and the things you want to do.
Your success won't be measured in this month, but over your lifetime. For Scott, his
charity work is so connected to his overall happiness that he no longer views them as
mutually exclusive. "I don't really think about the word 'happiness,' but I guess I am,"
he says. "It's just what I do now. I love it and can't imagine ever doing anything else."
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* name(s) changed.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ariane de Bonvoisin is the CEO and founder of
First30Days, a New York City-based media company
focused on guiding people through all types of changes—
both personal and professional, and social or global. The
company, which launched its website in February 2008,
currently features 60 life change subjects, including those
relevant to our times such as losing a job, selling a home,
starting a business, dealing with depression, smart
investing, reducing debt, and living frugally.
Ariane has a monthly column in Redbook magazine and AdAge, is MSN’s Life
Change Expert, a contributing editor to BusinessWeek.com, a Life Balance expert for
Health Magazine, and has appeared on dozens of TV and radio shows including
NBC's The Today Show, the CBS Early Show, Fox and Friends, CNN Radio, and
ABC News Now. She is a Huffington Post contributor and has written articles for
media outlets including Town & Country, the New York Daily News, Reader's Digest,
Women's Health, and Media Bistro, among others.
Ariane's book entitled The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier
was published by Harper Collins in May 2008. Ariane embarked on a national media
and speaking tour for the book. A Spanish edition was published in December 2008
by Rayo, a division of Harper Collins, and the paperback edition of First30Days is
due in early May 2009.
Website: www.First30Days.com
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DIVORCE YOUR INNER CRITIC
Carolyn Ellis
Have you ever wondered if it's possible to divorce your inner critic? You know that
questioning, nagging little voice inside you that is never at a loss to point out your
flaws, highlight your doubts, and cross-examine you on your decisions? If you don't
know what I'm talking about, it's the part of you that just asked you, "What inner critic
is she talking about?"
Most human beings engage in ongoing self-talk, with researchers estimating as much
as 45,000 to 50,000 thoughts per day! The rare exception might be those few
enlightened masters who meditate on a mountaintop for 14 hours a day.
For many of us, most of that self-talk is negative—particularly when we've
experienced some kind of setback, like a business challenge, a rocky relationship, or
a health scare. Noted clinical psychologist, Dr. Lee Pulos, asserts people put
themselves in a "waking hypnosis" with this incessant stream of negative self-talk.
We're literally laying down programming in our consciousness that beats us up and
sets us up for failure and dissatisfaction.
The inner critical voice is part of our psychological design that's intended to keep us
safe and have us pause before we act. It actually has great value in revealing some
of our limiting beliefs and unconscious programming that holds us back. Use these
strategies to partner more effectively with your inner critic.
1. You Don't Have to Know
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Life offers us possibilities much broader than we can possibly "know" if we're open to
seeing them. You don't know what you don't know. And that is good news! All you
need is a willingness to stay open and view your mistakes as wonderful learning
opportunities. Get curious and ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"
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2. Tune into Your Inner Dialogue
Awareness is the critical ingredient to building a more empowering mindset. Break
the state of "waking hypnosis" and choose new thoughts that support you. If you hear
your inner critic getting nasty with you, simply say, "Thank you for sharing!" or "Sure,
but I deserve to have a great life anyway!" Try walking around with a notebook and
jot down some of the dialogue you hear in your head. You may be shocked at how
quickly those nagging doubts will clear.
3. Don't Take it Personally
Everyone has an inner critic. Realize that it's just trying to protect you. You can even
visualize that part of you as a cranky old great-aunt, or as a scared little child, who
just needs to talk a lot. Having negative internal dialogue doesn't mean that you are
flawed or incapable. Let your wise, soulful self call the shots.
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Moms, take note! These tips work beautifully for our children as well.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Carolyn Ellis is the founder of Brilliance Mastery™, a
program that helps women entrepreneurs own their
brilliance so the mission of their business can be
communicated clearly, powerfully, and profitably.
Carolyn is a certified Money, Marketing and Soul Coach,
the creator of the THRIVE Principles™, founder of Thrive
After Divorce, and the award-winning author of The 7
Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your
Children Thrive after Divorce. She publishes Bits of
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Brilliance, a weekly e-newsletter that offers inspiration, wisdom, and support for the
woman entrepreneur or business owner who is committed to living her brilliance.
For more information and to get a copy of her special report, The 7 Secrets to
Unlocking Your Brilliance as a Woman Entrepreneur, visit Carolyn's website.
Website: www.BrillianceMastery.com
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IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!
Chantal Beaupre
For the last 6,000 years in recorded history, all the great philosophers, scientists,
industrialists, historians, and theologians have all agreed on one point: You and I
ultimately become what we think about.
In other words, many highly respected thinkers in various disciplines have concluded
that thought is the main determiner of how our lives will go. As a matter of fact, here's
what some of them have said about this crucial point:
• Buddha: "What we think we become. We are what we think. All that we are
arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world."
• Spinoza: "I saw that all things I feared, and which feared me, had nothing
good or bad in them save insofar as the mind was affected by them."
• Mahatma Gandhi: "A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks,
he becomes."
• Albert Ellis: "People and things do not upset us; rather we upset ourselves by
believing that they can upset us."
• Henry Ford: "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing,
you're right."
• Shakespeare: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
• Robert Collier: "Any thought that is passed on to the subconscious often
enough and convincingly enough is finally accepted. One comes to believe
whatever one repeats to oneself sufficiently often; whether the statement be
true or false, it comes to be dominating thought in one's mind."
• Ralph Waldo Emerson: "A man is what he thinks about all day long."
• Peace Pilgrim: "If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would
never think a negative thought."
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• Abraham Lincoln: "People are about as happy as they make up their mind to
be."
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• Epictetus: "Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinions
of the things that happen."
• Norman Vincent Peale: "Change your thoughts and you change your world."
• Ernest Holmes: "Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he
thinks into it."
• Jesus: "As you think, so shall ye be."
In summary, you and I relate to everything and everyone on this planet through the
mechanism of thought. It is not what is in the world that determines the quality of our
lives; it is how we choose to process our world in our thoughts.
Our future is formed by the thoughts we hold most often. Not only do we literally
become what we think about, but we are all given the gift of being able to write our
own story.
So, starting today, I cordially invite you to write a great story for yourself—one that is
filled with love, happiness... and fun!
Take 100% Responsibility for Your Happiness
While doing some research for this article, I stumbled upon the following piece... not
once, but twice in just a few hours!
Synchronicity, you bet! And not only have I now learned the many benefits of paying
attention to these spiritual signposts placed on my path to guide me in the right
direction, but I am pleased to be given the opportunity to share this piece with you!
As a matter of fact, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer first introduced this wonderful story in his
book, You'll See It When You Believe It. However, here's for you the same piece as
beautifully told by Jack Canfield in his best-selling book, The Success Principles:
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There is a wonderful story told about a man who is out walking one night and
comes upon another man down on his knees looking for something under a
streetlamp. The passerby inquires as to what the other man is looking for. He
answers that he is looking for his lost key. The passerby offers to help and
gets down on his knees and helps him search for the key. After an hour of
fruitless searching, he says, "We've looked everywhere for it and we haven't
found it. Are you sure that you lost it here?" The other man replies, "No, I lost
it in my house, but there is more light out here under the streetlamp."
Let's face it: Other people and things practically never upset us. On the contrary, we
are the ones who can choose or not choose to agonize about the unfortunate
adversities that these people and things may put in our lives.
It is time we stop looking outside ourselves for the answers to why we haven't
created the happiness we really want in our lives. It is time we take responsibility for
at least some of our acute and prolonged upsets.
Granted our disturbed feelings also have biological aspects. Granted as well our
brain and body chemistry may catapult us into a state of emotional disturbance when
few or no adversities are occurring in our lives. Nonetheless, the negative feelings
we now experience about these emotional and physical handicaps are still largely our
own doing—the result of our thinking.
And as late Dr. Albert Ellis kept noting, "You are lucky that you yourself help to create
and perpetuate your disturbances, for that means that you personally can stop them
in their tracks."
Most of us have grown up believing that we cannot control our own emotions; that
positive and negative feelings are things that simply happen to us; that when
adversities occur, not only do we naturally feel unhappy, but that "happy" events
must show up for us to feel good again. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
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Believe it or not: We do have the power to think whatever we choose to think. If
something just "pops" into our heads, we have the power to make it go away. We
may not have control over the thoughts that enter our minds, for we do not make
ourselves think. However, our thoughts are our own—uniquely ours to keep, change,
share, or contemplate. We control our mental world. Simple as that!
By the way, if we don't control our thoughts, who does? Our spouse, our boss, our
parents, or our children?
As Dr. Wayne W. Dyer ironically says in his best-selling book titled Your Erroneous
Zones, "If these people control what you think, then send them off for therapy and
you will instantly get better."
But we really know otherwise, do we? Do you?
You can achieve increased happiness in your life—that is, if you take your personal
power and use it!
Believe me: When you will fully realize the incredible power you have over your
thoughts, your feelings—your happiness!—not only will you be literally astounded,
but you will wonder why you took so long to use it!
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So go ahead... make yourself happy!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Chantal Beaupre is an Emotional Mastery Coach, a
Naturopath, an Independent Licensed LifeSuccess
Consultant, and a business partner of Bob Proctor—as seen
in The Secret movie. Her passion is to provide men and
women who are ready to raise their level of happiness and
improve the quality of their lives with practical tools,
challenging ideas, resources, and helpful information
through the power of the Internet.
Being herself a voracious happiness seeker, Chantal realized that being happy from
the inside out can be accomplished by learning from the masters—those who have
blazed the trail for others to follow. Therefore, she spent over twenty-five years
studying psyche, emotions, human behavior, and the mind, but it wasn't until she met
Bob Proctor that she gained the wisdom that she needed to make sense of the great
deal of knowledge she had acquired during those years. Her connection with the
world’s premier provider in personal development allows her not only to offer the
most extensive programs with the best curriculum, but also to be in a position to
assist her clients in achieving their heart’s desires.
Chantal's background includes work in the corporate world as well as a
psychotherapy practice. She started out in the financial services field (life insurance,
retirement products, and general insurance) in customer service and brokerage
accounts. For the past 10 years, she has been involved—on both personal and
professional levels—in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. In the transition from
psychotherapy to coaching, she weaves coaching happiness principles, structures,
and technology into her sessions, allowing her to offer her clients far more value than
before.
Website: www.ChantalBeaupre.com
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FREEING THE VOICE WITHIN
Eva Gregory
We each have an inner guide, that voice that has the right answer but is sometimes
overlooked. Our inner guides are always with us, but often muted. Later when it is
realized that the voice, intuition, or instinct should have been heeded, it's too late
to correct the initial decision. But we are at choice at every moment! Sounds a little
hard to believe, right? Who would choose to have a marriage dissolve, or a career
end? But a little investigation will often uncover a "feeling" that this person is not
exactly what was desired, but maybe close enough; or the job paid very well, so
even if some of the tasks were not in alignment with the idea of the ideal job it was
worth it. So in essence, choices were actually made to gag one's inner guide and roll
with the situation.
How many times have you thought "Man, if I had only listened to my instincts!"
That was your inner guide telling you which way to proceed and it was ignored. Do
you know who the largest population of inner guide listeners are? Children. That's
one of the reasons they tend to get in so much trouble with adults. Because they do
what their inner guide advises without thought to consequence, feelings, or safety.
Their one goal is to do what they believe will make them happy at any given point in
time, and they do. Children believe the world revolves around them. They have not
been taught that it's their job to make and keep everyone happy (a true fallacy in
today's society). If everyone accepted responsibility for their own happiness, which
is possible by listening to their inner guides, the world would be a more harmonious
place.
Madison was sitting in Pre-K and was bored. She didn't like "circle time," but
preferred free play. She looked longingly at the pots and pans and began to squirm
and fidget while Miss Karen discussed the story. Unable to stand circle time for one
more moment, Madison began to inch herself away from the circle, closer to the
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play kitchen cubbies. Madison finally made her way to the pots and pans and was
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 23
about to dive in when Miss Karen busted her. She was called back to the circle and
told to remain in place. A few minutes later, Madison again began to look at the pots
and pans, and decided that since she couldn't leave the circle perhaps Miss Karen
wouldn't mind if she brought the pots and pans to the circle with her. That didn't
fly either. Finally, unable to contain herself any longer, Madison jumped up from the
circle, grabbed a pot and spoon, and placed herself in the time-out chair! She knew
what she wanted, knew that it wouldn't be appreciated by her teacher, and that she
would be punished, but didn't care one bit. She got what she wanted... happiness.
She was tuned into her inner guide and did not stray.
Adults could take lessons from children. Remember the ultimate goal in life is J-O-Y,
and it is one’s responsibility to create for ourselves. But it cannot be done without
focus, intent, and practice. Learn to quiet the conscious thinking mind for no more
than 15 minutes each day and allow the inner guide to come through. Here's how:
• Focus on breathing, or the flicker of a candle, or use an audible sound like
"Om."
• Once the mind is quieted, physical detachment will occur and you will be in a
state of "allowing." This is when your inner guidance will take over. You may
feel an involuntary movement in your body, like just before you're falling
asleep and your foot moves, or you feel as if you're falling—this is THE state
where the energies are in alignment.
• Determine your path for allowing your alignment energies to come through. It
could be through blocks of thought, writing, a voice, or through some other
manner.
Everyone has the ability to do it. The key is to find the time to make it happen and
not censor what is coming through. Be consistent and a mere 30 days is all that it
should take to get into the swing of things. Simply learn to relax, allow, and receive.
Your happiness depends on it.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 24
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Eva Gregory is a master coach, speaker, and author of
several books and programs including The Feel Good
Guide to Prosperity, Ten Weeks to Your Cosmic
Connection to Source™, and Guidance On Demand:
Where Spirituality and Practicality Merge™.
She has instructed thousands on how to create a life
deliberately using the Law of Attraction. As co-host of her
own radio shows, she has interviewed some of the most
influential thought leaders today.
Her newest book, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction, co-authored with
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hanson, and Jeanna Gabellini can be found in
bookstores everywhere.
Website: www.LeadingEdgeCoaching.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 25
LIVING IN HARMONY WITH REALITY
Guy Finley
"The truth is that the only time we ever really ‘fail’ at anything in our life is when we
mistakenly walk away from it before we've allowed it to teach us its secret ways."
How do we normally develop a new skill? For example, how do we learn to high
jump? We listen to instruction, and perhaps we watch someone else; but for the most
part, we learn by doing; by trying it ourselves. Generally, with our first attempts we
end up crashing into rather than clearing the bar, and when we do, there's no
denying it. We can see, and feel, that we've come up short. Our collapsed condition
tells us, unmistakably, that we've done something wrong. So now, we try a new angle
of approaching the bar, or a new technique of leaving the ground. We do this over
and over. And each time we fail to hit the mark, we see we've made a mistake and
we alter our behavior, knowing that eventually our self-correction will lift us to the
success we desire.
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These elementary but exact laws of learning are the same when it comes to our
psychological and spiritual development. Each time we feel an emotional pain, we
should use that as a signal that we've made a mistake, that we've crashed and now
need to find and try another new way. For example, our presently pained position is
the proof that our past responses to personal crises are inadequate to clear the
barriers we still are crashing into—that we not only need a new way to meet life, but
that our old ways just don't work. The problem for most of us is that we rarely allow
ourselves to learn in this way. We have hundreds of experiences each day in which
our expectations crash into reality. Whenever this happens, we have a close
encounter of the truthful kind, because in that same moment of trial we see for an
instant that we really don't know what to do. These small and large self-crashes in
themselves are not a problem. They are, in a way, the school of life. The problem is
that we won't admit we don't know what to do. We don't use the event to learn a new
response. Instead, we become defensive and return to the same mindset that led to
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 26
our latest collision. We tell ourselves we understand the cause of getting hurt, and
that we know what or whom to blame. And once we've assessed fault through this
unseen faulty approach, then we know what to do. Some self pops up and tells us to
"act happy," "eat something," "call a friend," "think about it." But none of these
responses has ever made us better equipped to handle the next crisis. We persist in
our belief that we know what to do, and instead of trying something different, we just
return to the familiar route.
Until we understand where the true cause of our unhappiness lies, we can never be
happy. As long as our preconceived notions about life run into the reality of it we will
continue to feel like we're on the losing side, and since we do not learn from the
crash, the process continues. We feel that our lives are out of control, and they are.
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We start learning from life when we stop blaming reality, and accept that it was our
lack of understanding that created the perceived problem. Our sincere wish to learn
cannot fail to attract the healing truth we desire, which can then become a part of us
and act through us. This can only happen through our own self-work. No one can tell
us the truth, for then it would not become a part of our own nature. We must test our
beliefs and question our responses for ourselves. When we begin to understand the
truth about reality, and our own place in it (because we have actually entered into it
for ourselves), that truth, along with all its power, becomes our own.
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 27
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Guy Finley is the best-selling author of The Secret
of Letting Go, The Essential Laws of Fearless
Living, and 35 other works that have sold over a
million copies in 18 languages worldwide. His work
has been featured on hundreds of radio and TV
networks including NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR,
and PBS.
Guy has spent the last 30 years showing individuals the authentic path to a higher life
filled with happiness, success, and true love.
He lives and teaches in Merlin, Oregon, where he is Director of non-profit Life of
Learning Foundation.
Website: www.GuyFinley.org
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 28
THE SECRET TO YOUR LIGHT
Hemal Radia
When you are in alignment with who you are, you shine a light seen so brightly by the rest of the Universe.
Your true light has been with you for all time and you have seen it in glimpses. It is
available to you to see more and more of in your life. Many are seeking something
which is already here, now.
The Universe provides an echo of your vibrational offering.
In truth, in a spiritual sense, you are the physical manifestation of your light or "spirit"
(or whatever words you use to describe it). This universal spirit which is in everything
that you see, and in everything that you don’t see (which is so much more than what
you do see), is inherently well-being. You are whole and complete. And so, if you
are whole and complete, by definition, how can you not already be your "light?"
(Clue: You are!)
But what happens is we are very used to seeing only what is in the physical world
and do not realize our divinity, wholeness, and "completeness." If we only looked at
the head of something and not the body, we wouldn’t get a complete picture, would
we? That is the same as looking at your physical body and not realizing the much
larger spiritual aspect of yourself that is so much more, and whole, and complete.
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You already are all that you want to be, other than when you deny and block yourself
of it through your thoughts and beliefs (of which self-esteem and self-value can play
a part). Even if the physical manifestations are not here yet, you can be the essence
and embodiment of it. Then the physical manifestations and creations in your life are
expressions of your wholeness, rather than expressions from a place of
incompleteness and an effort to make up for any perceived lack.
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 29
Whatever you think, you magnify. If you believe you are striving for something (such
as to feel a certain way or have something), you will be striving for something. If
instead you realize that everything is here, even if not fully in form yet, and you
radiate THAT vibration, the Universe gives you the physical confirmation of it.
Who you truly are on a deeper level is literally beyond words. All the words in the world couldn’t go close to defining you. The most beautiful sights and experiences on this planet pale in comparison to you.
What you want is not something you strive towards, it is something you accept, allow,
and are in your now. If it is a physical manifestation you are looking for, you become
the emotional and vibrational embodiment of it in your now. It is about what you see
and believe of your reality, rather than waiting for a reality for you to see it. It is here
and now. And as you allow it, you see the manifestations of this vibrational offering
in what happens around you.
What are you striving for? What has to be, so that you can feel "happy" (or whatever
you are seeking in your life) and complete? We are used to seeing things in the
media that do not feel good. But that does not imply that you cannot feel good about
where you are right now, regardless of the things portrayed (or advertised) in the
media.
Let it be that the "things" are an expression and consequence (manifestation) of how you feel, more than a requirement or condition for you to feel how you want to feel.
For many people, when they feel they need to have something to feel "whole," by
implication, it can mean that they are not feeling "whole" right now. And so by
thinking that, they are focusing on lack and having that in their vibration—and they
are then not letting in the very thing they are wanting!
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 30
In every moment you are giving off a vibration and frequency from your thoughts.
You attract experiences, ideas, situations, people, and everything else, which is a
match to that frequency.
Being happy, being in love, and being loved are states of being. You can BE anything you like in any moment. The Universe responds to your state of being, and you get to have what is commensurate with that.
People talk about relationships and "you complete me." In truth, you are always
complete—although it is a lovely expression to say to the one you love, and of course
mean it. What actually happens in love (or anywhere else) is when we are with
someone and feeling so divine, they are reminding us of the beautiful aspects of who
WE are on a deeper level. They are reflecting that back to us. And that is why we
are appreciating them so much! And vice versa!
The lives we live are reflections of us, whatever we may experience. When we are
with someone and it feels so good, it is because they are very purely reflecting who
we are on a deeper level. The better you feel, the closer you are experiencing
alignment with who you are as a spiritual being. And the closer that alignment is, the
more "fulfilled" your life will be. The physical manifestations will occur as a reflection
of that also.
Your emotions are an indication of your vibrational alignment.
Follow your emotions—that is what they are there for.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Your alignment is about your congruency and match of your thoughts and emotions
with your desires. If you are wanting something but your thoughts are in
contradiction to it, you are, more or less, misaligned to it, and you will feel it
emotionally. It is like wanting prosperity and visualizing it but talking daily about your
fears about money, and it running out, and your worries of it. The stronger the
misalignment, the more severely you will feel it emotionally. The more aligned you
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 31
are in your thoughts and beliefs with what you want, the better it feels. Love, joy,
happiness, and the best emotions are synonymous with you being in your now and
aligned to what you want.
WAYS TO SUPPORT YOUR ALIGNMENT:
• Don’t doubt yourself. If you can’t have total faith, step back, let go, and have
faith in the bigger scheme of things or in the Universe, or God, or whatever it
is you believe in. By doubting yourself, you are just stopping your natural flow
and putting the brakes on it. If you can’t believe initially, don’t doubt at least.
Allow it to flow.
• Start to see yourself with what you want. Practice it in your reality. Make
that vibration familiar. Make it so familiar that you come to know that reality
more than the one that has been your reality, even though what you want
hasn’t manifested yet, but will happen as a result of you allowing it in.
• Realize that on a deeper level (even on an atomic level), you are connected to everything else. Remove the illusion of separation and realize
your inherent connectedness to everything in this Universe. This can be
liberating. And by affirming this connection and remembering that you are
connected to all that you want, and by your expectation of it, you bring it closer
into your reality.
You live in an abundant Universe where there are no limits to the well-being you can experience—within yourself, and as physical manifestations in your life.
It is not about giving yourself a hard time. That is just like doubting yourself. Your
alignment and your flow are from a place of faith and trust in yourself, and in the
workings of the Universe—not from doubt, fear, or mistrust.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 32
Your flow is far more important than any situation. From your flow, you have access
to all possibilities.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hemal Radia is a world-class expert on Manifesting
& Law of Attraction and has been described as a
"Super Coach." He is also an international speaker
and author who very elegantly simplifies the Law of
Attraction and makes it easy to understand and
apply. As a specialist at helping people find their
flow, Hemal has been rated as the best in bringing
out the best in those that work with him.
When you find the magic within yourself, you see the manifestations in your life.
Everyone has a powerful and natural flow; find out how to be best in tune with yours.
Blog: www.ManifestingandLawofAttraction.com
Two Free Law of Attraction Audios: http://budurl.com/TWOFreeLOAAudios
Work One-to-One with Hemal: http://budurl.com/Hemal1to1
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 33
HAPPINESS IS YOUR CHOICE
Jackie Jones
Have you ever gone searching for your glasses only to find them on the end of your
nose?
Finding happiness is just like that. It's already yours!
Well, happiness is not exactly on the tip of your nose. However, it's as simple to
realize, if you just take a few moments and truly think about it!
Most people float through the motions of an everyday routine, taking life as it comes.
We were never taught to search for happiness. If something is said or occurs that
causes us to laugh out loud or feel good, WOW! What a bonus!
Not long ago, that was my life.
Don’t get me wrong—I was bubbly, positive, and happy on the surface, and very
committed to leaving a trail of joy with absolutely everyone I came in contact with. It
was on the inside that I didn’t quite feel that totally fulfilling happiness. I expected
others to do that for me.
Now I know that happiness IS a choice!
In May of 2006, I was invited to attend a seminar with my two daughters. Call it "fear
of the unknown"—I had no interest in participating and there were many excuses I
could have come up with not to attend. However, spending memorable time with my
girls was more important, so off we went.
That day changed my life forever!
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It’s The Thought That Counts Page 34
The atmosphere was overwhelming with excitement as I walked in and took my seat.
The speakers were so positive, confident, and happy! I never wanted the event to
end and that feeling has never left me.
Within days, I was researching at bookstores and on the Internet for whatever
information I could get my hands on relating to personal growth and self-esteem. I
wanted to be confident, feel good, and be happy every single moment from then on.
My attitude changed with every page I read. I felt more alive than I had in years, and
eventually my reading and yearning to consistently feel good became a habit.
I do daily affirmations, I belong to a Mastermind group, I continue to take classes to
improve my life success skills, and I listen to music that I love—just doing whatever it
takes to keep me in that thrilling state of mind!
That's the key!
Your wanting happiness and to feel good needs to become a habit!
My family and friends want whatever it is that I have discovered! I share my
experiences and continue to pay it forward, helping in every way possible to make
the world a better place.
You see, there was something very unique taking place as I soaked up this valuable
information—one joyous article leading to another. I realized that what inspired me
the most was the feeling of gratitude. Although I have always been grateful for the
many blessings in my life, I began to feel gratitude in a whole new way! It seemed to
me that gratitude was by far the best way to get myself happy—that, and learning to
love and appreciate ME!
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Looking back on my childhood, I sincerely felt that if personal growth and self-esteem
had been a part of our curriculum, the world would probably be a much happier place
today!
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Studies have shown that "grateful" people are happier people. This is a vitally
important message for children as they learn to socialize and grow into adults.
To my amazement, an idea came to me which has resulted in my becoming a self-
published author and creator of G-Bugs (The Gratitude Bugs) stories for kids aged
3 to 7! (I had never, ever imagined writing children's books!)
As a result of my changing attitude, my life is a constant flow of happiness and
wonderful new experiences!
These are the steps I continue to take to create unconditional happiness in my life.
May you raise your sights and see the possibilities that happiness could bring into
yours!
1. Realize that happiness is a choice
2. Associate with positive people
3. Make a habit of finding ways to be happy
4. Research, learn, and pay it forward
5. Have a consistently good attitude
6. Feel the feelings of gratitude for what you already have
7. Love and appreciate yourself
"It‘s never too late to have a happy childhood."
Berke Breathed
"Thoughts of gratitude combined with a positive attitude
can only lead to unconditional happiness!"
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Jackie Jones
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 36
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jackie Jones, author of G-Bugs (The Gratitude Bugs),
children's books, is waking up the feelings of gratitude in
kids everywhere!
Just a regular wife, mom, and "Nana"—as well as
business partner with husband Henry, of Roadshow
Canada Inc., in Thornton (a huge Antiques Mall, just
north of Toronto) —Jackie continues to inspire kids of all
ages to love and appreciate themselves and others, in
spite of their differences... and so much more!
Jackie is the eldest of eight children, born and raised in Kingston, Ontario. Visit her
website and be sure to purchase a copy of your favourite G-Bugs (The Gratitude Bugs) story!
Website: www.G-Bugs.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 37
WHAT’S YOUR STRESS TOLERANCE?
Jeanna Gabellini
Have you ever tolerated pain in one or more areas of your life for way too long?
Sometimes we tolerate levels of success, wealth, or love that are barely okay, rather
than exceptionally fulfilling. I call that background pain that we ignore or we simply
don't know what to do so we continue on in the same old way.
Maybe you notice the pain or tolerance and just keep "wishing" it would go away. Or
maybe you seek a solution and implement it, but you have not changed your attitude
and you realize months later that you are still getting the same results. Why would
you tolerate anything less than desirable results? There are only two reasons: You
don't believe you can have what you want, or you believe you can have what you
want but there must be some suffering involved.
Suffering emotionally, physically, or monetarily does not need to be part of the
solution. Yes, you might have to do some self-management with your emotions. And
yes, you will need some other resources to get you through the bigger changes, but it
can be an expansive process. Some of the big tolerations I see clients having a hard
time letting go of are a job or relationship that does not bring them the joy they
deserve. They are afraid they will end up with less than what they have now, so they
think they might as well stay with what they know. Yikes!
How can you have something better if you don't make yourself available to receive it?
You can let go of anything that doesn't work for you in a peaceful way. Even when
you need to let go of a relationship, you can part ways in a fashion that has no
negative drama. The more focused you stay on what you are going to gain from the
change, versus what you might be losing, the more stable and open you will be. It is
not your job to make other people feel okay. You do much more good for them if you
are in a grounded and peaceful place.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 38
I do know that the period of time leading up to making a choice to actually handle the
toleration is the hardest. Once you get into action, you feel power and confidence
pulsing through your veins. I want to point out that the small things you tolerate, such
as a broken appliance in your home, are just as important to handle as some of the
bigger things. We usually have many small tolerations around and they add up to a
big impact.
Withholding your truth from someone is also a toleration. Any messes that are
created in your life that you are not complete with will have a negative impact on you.
Thought patterns that make you feel stressed are tolerations. These ARE the most
painful things you hang on to. It's the greatest sabotage technique. If you take an
action you know is not in your best interest, then you are tolerating self-sabotage.
When you lie and you feel guilt, or have guilt about anything, you are tolerating one
of the lowest vibrating emotions that exist. Guilt does not serve you in any way. Learn
from events and move on.
ANY STRESS YOU KEEP IN YOUR LIFE IS SAYING TO YOURSELF THAT YOU
ARE NOT WORTHY OF SOMETHING BETTER! Been there, did that, and never
going back!
If I have not sold you on clearing out anything you are tolerating, let me spell out the
benefits.
• R-E-L-I-E-F
• P-E-A-C-E
• F-R-E-E-D-O-M
• Openness to receiving something better
• Space in your brain and heart to focus on something that you are passionate
about
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
If you feel good, you are more aligned with receiving prosperity (Heck, you handle
tolerations for this reason alone!).
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Get to it and get rid of all those stressors. You are up to it. Handle them one by one.
Get support if you need it. Create accountability with someone. If you have to take
baby steps to get through, so be it. Think enough of yourself to treat yourself with
absolute respect, kindness, and abundance. You're going to feel soooo good!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who
assists high-achieving entrepreneurs and their teams
to leverage fun, systems, and intentionality for high-
octane results.
If you think that business is all about taking as many
action steps as possible in the shortest amount of time,
hit the pause button. Business is supposed to be
passion-filled, exhilarating, and profitable.
Jeanna’s coaching and seminars marry vision,
divine guidance, and proven strategies. You’ll ditch the mental merry-go-rounds and
overwhelm.
Jeanna also co-authored Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction with Eva
Gregory, Mark Victor Hansen, and Jack Canfield.
Website: www.MasterPeaceCoaching.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 40
IS THERE REALLY A SILVER LINING
IN EVERY CLOUD?
Jeanne Hounshell
We say that frequently. Yet, do we really believe it? When trouble comes, we
complain and often call it a tragedy. What is the truth? It's all in how you look at it.
You can look for the silver lining or you can look for the flood. Science is proving that
our thoughts do create our reality. It has proven that every thought is reflected in our
physical bodies. Could it be that illness is simply an opportunity to have better
health? That is a real possibility. That illness is simply a wake-up call that we are
doing something that damages our bodies.
• Too much stress
• Too much fast food
• The wrong kinds of fats
• Too much sugar
• Not enough exercise
• Not enough laughter
• Not enough pure water
• Not enough sleep
• Too much negativity about everything that happens
• Not enough fruits and vegetables
• Too much meat
The list is endless—the things we do to our bodies. Change any of those and you will
start to return to health.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
And how about the other hard things that happen? They happen to everyone:
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 41
• Divorce
• Death of a loved one
• Loss of a job
• Automobile accident
• Coworkers you don't like
• Becoming overwhelmed by too much to do and not enough time
Again, the list is endless. You can't avoid stress. What you can do is change how you
see it. You can look at how it will help you grow. How it can help you make better
decisions in any area of your life in the future. You are not a victim. You always have
a choice. And the choice you always have is how you see what is happening to you
right now.
Experiment a little. Next time you start to complain or feel hurt, ask yourself:
• How could I see this differently?
• What good could I find even in this situation? And what could I learn?
• Is there any way I could see it even a little bit differently?
I think you'll find your body getting healthier and your life becoming happier. It might
even help you get that promotion you'd like or have better relationships.
Affirmative Meridian Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique is similar but slightly
different) helps you change any difficult situation. It can erase hurt, stress, anger,
illness, poor self-esteem, negative thoughts, and the feeling of being a victim. It may
do that in seconds, or it may take longer. It does work. It just doesn't always work
exactly the way we expect it to. It can help bring health, joy, success, prosperity, and
love into your life. Hundreds of thousands have used it.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
At the least when using the Affirmative Meridian Tapping you feel good at the end.
And that helps you make better choices. A cloud with a silver lining is one of the most
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 42
beautiful sights there is on this earth. Maybe life could be that beautiful too. It's worth
trying to find out.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Jeanne Hounshell is a holistic health coach, a
nutritionist, a retired doctor, an author, an inspirational
speaker, a life coach, and—above all—a teacher. She
believes the body knows how to heal anything. And we
can help it do just that. She grew up on a cattle ranch
in the Nebraska Sandhills, graduated from Nebraska
Wesleyan University and Los Angeles College of
Chiropractic. She’s spent her life helping others.
Aside from work, she loves singing to her granddaughters, laughing with her
husband, playing bridge, having a long talk with a friend, and walking on the beach.
Website: http://DrJeanne.net
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 43
YOUR LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT
Jim Donovan
An article in a business magazine (prior to the current Wall Street fiasco) asked the
question, "If the economy is doing so well, why does everyone feel so bad?"
There are a lot of very sophisticated answers to this question like:
• Jobs are moving out of the country
• There is a war in Iraq
• The cost of living is rising
• etc., etc.
I feel that there is one simple reason that is more responsible for people's bad
feelings than everything else. There is one simple reason why people are feeling
down even though the economy is booming. There is one simple reason why, despite
all the positive economic indicators, many people are still living in fear and are
experiencing depression in record numbers.
You've probably guessed it by now, it's our attitude which is controlled largely by
what we focus upon and what we tell ourselves. We think a thought, which produces
a feeling, which leads to an action, which produces a result. It all starts with the
thought we choose to think.
If you watch the TV news or read newspapers with their never-ending barge of
negative stories, you can't help but feel bad. I'm not suggesting that you give up
news all together, although it's not an entirely bad idea, but that you limit your news
intake and especially avoid it prior to going to sleep. It is a well-accepted fact that
what you read, watch, or listen to within a half-hour of going to sleep will carry over
into your dream state and will affect how well you rest and ultimately how you feel.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 44
News items aside, what else are you focused upon? Do you regularly engage in
conversations about how bad things are, or are you looking for what is right and
what's working in every situation? The former will increase your bad feelings and take
you further in that direction, while the latter will open your awareness to the good that
already surrounds you.
My wife Georgia and I have been engaging in a "what's working" exercise every
week for several years now and I am amazed of the benefits that have resulted from
it.
While so many people are caught up in talking about everything that is wrong in their
world, thereby causing themselves to feel bad, you can choose the opposite, you can
choose to increase the good in your life by focusing your attention and conversation
on the good that's already there. To paraphrase the Bible, "To he who has, more is
given."
On a recent Monday morning, I was feeling "less than great." That's about as close
as I get to feeling bad. Georgia, having learned the value of shifting to a more
positive focus asked, "So what's working?" I struggled to list one or two things that
were going well and "working" in my business on that particular day. I wrote them
down in my journal. I don't think I had written more than three things in total—as I
said, I was not having a great day.
Then, a very interesting thing happened. By mid-day I was able to add a couple of
more things that were working and by the close of business that day, my list had
grown to three times its original length. By shifting my focus, I was once again in a
state of mind to attract more good into my life.
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Lynn Grabhorn, author of Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting refers to it as your "valve"
being either open or closed. Are you open to attract what you want by focusing your
attention and thereby your perception on what you want, or is your valve tightly shut
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 45
by a steady internal dialogue of gloom and doom? It's your choice how you
experience your world. You get to decide what you want to create in your life.
If you want to learn more about using a "what's working" approach, I suggest reading
Kurt Wright's book Breaking the Rules.
EXERCISE:
• List everything in your life that is working, that is right, and that is good. Dig
deep down and list everything that you can think of.
• What would the ideal vision look like if everything were working perfectly?
• What's not quite perfect yet? What needs tweaking?
• What resources do you need? Who can help? And how can you add to what's
already working?
If you do this exercise each week, with your spouse, co-workers, or coach, before
long you will begin to see significant shifts in your life.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 46
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jim Donovan, a native New Yorker, has implemented the
timeless principles in his books to first, turn his own life
around, and then to devote his life to helping others do
the same. Jim practices these principles every day and is
living proof that they work.
A world-renowned author and highly sought-after
motivational speaker, he has touched the hearts of
thousands of people, just like you, who want a better life.
Crossing all ethnic, age, and gender barriers, his simple message has been
embraced by teenagers and seniors alike. From business leaders to single parents,
people throughout the world are improving the quality of their lives by following the
simple techniques in his books and programs.
Jim’s seminars inspire audiences to take responsibility for their lives, provide them
with transformational ideas and strategies for their success, and motivate them to
take charge of their destiny and create the life they were born to live.
Website: www.JimDonovan.com
Blog: www.AgelessAndAmazing.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 47
HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE’S HAPPINESS
BY DEMOLISHING THE #1 SELF-ESTEEM KILLER
Joe Rubino
Extensive studies show that more than 85% of the population suffers from some
degree of diminished self-worth, lacking self-esteem and insufficient confidence. For
most of the people who lack a positive self-image, the future looks like a mere
extension of their troubled past. Their expectation of what is to be is consistent with
what has been—with a slight and predictable level of improvement.
Because of their lacking self-esteem and confidence, most are resigned to a life that
lacks the excitement and passion that characterizes the lives of those who feel
worthy of tapping into the best things life has to offer. People who possess a positive
self-image typically have an optimistic expectation of what is ahead of them and as a
result, they realize this expectation as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In contrast to the state of resignation that typifies those with diminished self-esteem
and lacking confidence, consider the possibility that the future lives as the realization
of a promise—a promise you make to yourself and to the world. The future will result
from your expectations and the quality of your future will be impacted by the
commitment you have for it. It lives as a possibility. In other words, you get to invent
it. In fact, you are the sole designer and architect of what is to be. And the result will
be entirely consistent with your expectation and your self-image.
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In other words, our future will be directly related to what we expect for it to be. If we
doubt our self-worth and expect our future lives to be worse than our current
situation, we will sabotage ourselves into making it turn out in alignment with this self-
fulfilling prophecy resulting in diminished self-esteem and self-confidence. If we limit
our expectations and plan on more of the same results we have to date experienced,
our apathy will generate a future consistent with this expectation. To the contrary, if
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 48
we believe in ourselves and our expectation is that our future will be better than our
present situation, self-motivation will result to bring about the positive outcome we
envision.
If we feel good about ourselves and expect to live happy, fulfilled, and successful
lives, we will take the actions consistent with realizing that expectation. We will
therefore generate the opportunities that will result in rich relationships, abundance,
and joy being attracted to our lives—because we believe we deserve it and act on
this belief.
We get what we expect and attract prosperity or lack, joy or sorrow, rewarding
relationships or angry, frustrating ones all as a result of whether or not we feel
worthy. Just as we can doubt our abilities to succeed and our attractiveness as
worthy of rewarding friends and intimate relationships, we can also instead choose to
take full responsibility for expecting all aspects of our lives to be the way we want
them to turn out.
Realize that you have consciously or unconsciously attracted everything that shows
up in your life to you. If where you are in life, the relationships you have attracted to
you, your physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual states are not what you desire,
decide now to alter your course. Decide that you deserve better. Get in touch with the
erroneous decisions you made at an early age. Reframe how you see yourself and
resolve to act from a declaration of who you are (just because you say so) instead of
the unlovable, somehow defective or unworthy image you made up or bought into
long ago.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Change your expectations. Design a life plan consistent with your new expectations.
Make requests to those who can support your efforts in some way. The future exists
for each of us as a possibility. When we do the necessary work to heal our troubled
past and put the self-interpretations that do not support us behind, we can
courageously decide to design our future lives deliberately to be in alignment with
joy, abundance, fun, fulfillment, and self-love. When we train ourselves to first expect
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 49
positive results and then to act in accordance with what we expect, we set the stage
for a bright and promising tomorrow. We have the personal power to create our
future on purpose. The future can unfold out of our declaration of how we see
ourselves and what we expect it to be like. To the extent that we take responsibility to
expect great things in our lives, ensure we give off positive, attractive, loving energy,
and then get into action to bring about our expectations, we will be the force behind
the realization of a rewarding happy future characterized by soaring self-esteem and
confidence.
So, my challenge for you today is to write out a clear and specific vision of exactly
what your life will be like in every area including your relationships, health, wealth
and finances, occupation, recreation and social life, and personal and spiritual
development. Commit to resolving any past issues that continue to erode how you
feel about yourself. I wrote The Self-Esteem Book and the accompanying The Self-
Esteem Workbook to support you to learn the tools that will allow you to reinvent your
life and how you see yourself. Know that all that it takes is the courage to begin the
process of restoring your personal magnificence and start living full of self-esteem
and confidence.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed
personal development trainer, life-changing success
and life-optimization coach, and best-selling author of
11 books available worldwide in 23 languages.
He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention,
an organization that has impacted the lives of more
than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs,
providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem,
communication skills, productivity, and personal effectiveness.
Website: www.CenterforPersonalReinvention.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
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SURRENDER TO KNOW DEEP FULFILLMENT
Kathleen Gage
Several decades ago, I began studying goal setting as if my life depended on it. I was
committed to learning anything and everything I could about how to set goals and
"have it all." I was certain that having it all would bring me a very deep level of
happiness.
My motivation was the fact that in my twenties I had reached a point where my
greatest goal was to merely get through another day. With many of my childhood
dreams shattered, my life consisted of going to a job I despised, being newly
divorced left with no apparent way to support myself, and living from day to day
wondering if this was it.
More than three decades ago, all I wanted to do was survive the harsh realities life
had put in front of me. And survive I did. I barely got by each day, feeling like the
world was against me and wondering why all the lucky breaks happened to others
but not to me. I nurtured the belief about how tough life was and as a result never got
any breaks. So much in fact that I lost my assembly-line job with the inability to get
another. I became more disillusioned with each passing day and felt stuck with no
way out.
That is until a small miracle happened. (Reflecting on that day 30 years ago, I would
say it was more of a big miracle disguised as something small.)
I found a book that changed my life forever—The Magic of Believing by Claude M.
Bristol. From the first page to the last, I was captivated by what I read. Written in
1948, the information is as powerful today as the day the book was written.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 52
In essence, the author wrote that we create our reality by what we think and believe.
Feeling as if I had found the holy grail of knowledge, I was fascinated that I had never
heard this before. Or if I had heard it, I had never paid attention to it.
Amazingly, as I applied what I read, a few small things shifted. The shift was enough
to encourage me to learn more about the power of thought.
Because I didn't have any disposable income at that time, I found one of my favorite
hangouts to be the local library. I read anything and everything I could get my hands
on to do with changing the circumstances of my life. There was no shortage of
information on setting goals, reaching achievement, accepting "believe and you will
achieve", and other such topics.
As much as I had no desire to do much of anything prior to the discovery of The
Magic of Believing, I now had a thirst that no amount of reading, learning, or
searching could quench. I was fascinated with what I heard about "What you can
believe, you can achieve."
Now my quest was to turn my life around, acquire whatever I wanted on a material
level in order that I would be fulfilled. Little did I realize the lessons life had in store. I
would learn that fulfillment was not about acquisition but rather something completely
different. You see, there were many times I acquired just what I thought would be the
"golden ticket" to happiness. Although some things did bring me a sense of
satisfaction, often it would be short-lived.
So what was the answer? When would that deep sense of fulfillment be mine?
Having placed so much emphasis on acquisitions, awards, and outward recognition
(and having achieved a great deal), I wondered why there were times when,
regardless of the outward trappings, a deep level of fulfillment would often evade me.
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Over more than a 30-year journey of discovery, my experience and definition of
fulfillment has morphed more than once from something superficial to something that
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 53
words cannot begin to express. Something that one comes to "know" rather than
define with words. Yet, words are often all there is to convey to another what the
experience is.
Happiness and fulfillment had very little to do with what was manifested on the
outside. There is no doubt whatsoever that happiness is an inside job. Granted, there
are outward things that do invoke feelings of joy, but it is something that manifests
from the inside out, rather than from the outside in.
Ironically, when we are on a quest for the deepest level of fulfillment, life will give us
exactly what we need. It may appear as if it has nothing to do with what we want, yet
when we give ourselves permission to step back, observe all that has occurred, and
recognize the gift in even the most difficult situations, we realize we have been given
exactly what was needed in order to reach the deepest level of appreciation,
fulfillment, and joy life has to offer.
Yet, it takes more than simply knowing this. It takes surrender and willingness to
allow life to unfold in such a way that we are given the opportunity to become who we
are meant to be. It takes a willingness to know that often we just don't know all there
is to know.
This is counterintuitive to much of what many people are selling as the "key to
happiness." How ironic is this? For years we can search for "the knowledge" only to
discover the greatest knowledge is that we just don't know all there is to know.
It is in surrendering to this fact that we are in a position to know more. What actually
happens is we become okay with letting go of the need to do, know, and be
everything. We simply move in the space of being in concert with what is. We reach a
place of showing up to the miracle of what each day has in store.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It has been said that a miracle is a shift in perception. It is in the ability to recognize
the shift where the greatest miracle resides—the miracle of who we are meant to be.
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 54
Make no mistake, there will be experiences in our day-to-day living that at times may
seem more than we are equipped to handle. Yet, when we move in the space of
appreciation for what is in front of us, life holds amazing miracles—miracles that no
amount of money can buy; miracles that create the tapestry of our lives; miracles that
take us to the deepest place of surrender that makes life have more depth than we
ever dreamed possible; miracles that allow us to love in ways we never dreamed we
would or could; miracles that allow us to become the person we are truly meant to
be.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It is in the surrender to something beyond what we can see, feel, or touch that all we
had hoped for will manifest.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kathleen Gage, known as The Street Smarts Marketer™,
owns and operates Turning Point, Inc. and Maxwell
Publishing. She is an author, an Internet marketing and
publicity advisor, and an award-winning keynote speaker.
With more than 30 years of experience in sales,
marketing, and promotions, Kathleen’s experience ranges
from having developed programs for the US Marine Corp
to corporate training for organizations such as the LA
Sheriff’s Department, AT&T, and GTE, to now choosing to work primarily with
solopreneurs.
Kathleen is a member of the Independent Book Publishers Association and a past
president of the National Speakers Association Utah Chapter. In 2004, she was
recognized as the top home based business for the State of Utah.
Now living in a rural community in Central Oregon with a menagerie of animals,
Kathleen is recognized as one of the leading authorities on how spiritually-minded
speakers, authors, coaches, and consultants can attract more business, gain better
market position, and increase their revenues exponentially by applying proven
business and utilizing the power of the Internet.
Website: www.KathleenGage.com
Internet Marketing Blog: www.TheMarketingMindset.com
Spiritual Blog: www.DailyAwareness.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 56
WHAT IF?
Kelly Sullivan Walden
When I think about sustainable happiness, I feel a rebellious part of me say:
• What if I don’t want to be happy?
• What if being happy all the time means letting go of being real, genuine, and
authentic?
• I don’t want to be one of those fake happy people… and you can’t make me!
Hmmm… My Higher Self recalibrates in order to respond to what feels like a dense,
lower, and very human aspect of myself:
• What if the essence of happiness is your natural state?
• What if happiness is what we humans look like and act like when we are being
real, genuine, and authentic?
• What if this is true? Aren’t we, after all, made from miraculous, divine,
supernatural stuff?
I was given a compliment recently by a former member of my Goddess Queen
Gathering. Patricia told me how thrilled she was I was moving back to LA from Santa
Fe, because since I’ve left she’s attended other women’s circles in the hopes of
finding a supportive space for her spiritual growth—to no avail. She lamented she
had not found a circle to meet her in the way the Goddess Queen Gathering had.
She went on to say that even in a spiritual women’s group, there could still be a thick
ego wall veiling the genuine heart-to-heart connection she was craving. She
continued on about this superficial connection that—unless there is a deliberate
intent to (gently) shift the ego—will continue to take up space, or worse, take over the
gathering. She said it felt like trying to place new dishes on a dusty shelf… ewwww!
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What if unhappiness in our lives were momentary opportunities for contrast?
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 57
What if, once we dusted off the debris of fear, doubt, worry, lack, and limitation, we
realized a radiant, jubilant, blissful version of ourselves waiting in the wings?
At the beginning of my gatherings, I do the "Releasing Candle" ceremony. I ask each
participant to close their eyes, take deep breaths, and give their cares, concerns,
negativity, and worry to the candle. Give it ALL to the flame… any better than / less
than thoughts and judgements, all the dense and subtle layers of fear around our
hearts are exhaled into the fire. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I ask everyone to imagine this
flickering wick is a blazing bonfire with the strength to gratefully consume everything
they no longer wish to carry.
What if being happy on a regular basis was about having a trustworthy release valve
for our daily dramas?
As the candle is passed from person to person and each one hears what the other is
releasing—continually hearing the word, "Ho"—I jokingly say this does not mean we
are calling each other a "ho." "Ho" is a sound Native Americans use as a way of
expressing that my heart relates to your heart. In other words, "Ho" is shorthand for
"Me too!" or "You took the words from my mouth!"
By the time we have gone around the circle and we’ve heard "Ho" over a dozen
times, there are giggles and belly laughs at the ridiculousness of our fears. And
because we bravely voiced them and released them to the flame, we have allowed
our ego walls to melt. When we do this, we realize we are not alone and we have
nothing to hide.
What if being happy isn’t an issue of conjuring up something akin to a degree in
astrophysics, scaling the Himalayas blindfolded, or finding the cure for cancer?
What if all we have to do to be happy is recognize the sunlight of the spirit is always
there?
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 58
From a profound place of embracing our humanity, the alchemy takes place and we
are then light enough to elevate the spiritual ladder… all the way to the mountaintop
of clarity, purpose, power, love, and co-creation with the Universe. In other words,
new dishes get placed on a sparkling clean shelf.
What if it was COMPLETELY NORMAL to get upset?
What if the difference between the average Joann and Joan of Ark is in the ability to
allow discomfort, upset, and even pain to be seen as a gift to learn, grow, and glow
into a more enlightened version of ourselves?
On the days life throws me a curve ball, when my defenses are low and someone’s
snotty remark gets under my skin—and there is no Goddess Queen Gathering or
"releasing candle" to come to my emotional rescue—I have a plan B: a Best Friend
Download. I have an agreement with my dearest friends that in a moment of distress
we can pick up the phone and spew, hurl, and rant a voicemail message that sounds
something like this:
"Hi, it’s Kelly, and this is a Best Friend Download. I am so pissed, hurt, upset,
angry, embarrassed, enraged at (fill in the blanks) for doing (again, fill in the
blanks)." Blah, blah, blah… until the bee has left the proverbial bonnet.
I usually conclude the message by saying:
"Thank you for letting me vent. I feel so much better, calmer, peaceful, sane. I
can see clearly now that the rain has gone! I think I have half a clue about
what I can do about this situation. Thank YOU!"
What if the secret to sustainable happiness is simply space to not be happy when
genuine pain or disappointment occurs?
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 59
What if we could be more like the child that falls down in the sandbox, wails for 30
seconds, takes a breath, and resumes building their sand castle?
As I write this, I realize there is more than plan B, C, D, E, and F. Other pillars that
uphold my "happiness temple" include journaling, taking a walk around the block,
rolling on the floor with my dog Woofie, crying my eyes out, making a gratitude list,
taking a nap, being of service to others, surrounding myself with people I love, and of
course, following my inner navigational system that always leads me—like a bee to
honey—to the perfect people, in the perfect place, at the perfect time.
What if happiness wasn’t the goal?
What if we don’t have to teach the sun how to shine?
What if happiness was the bare bones baseline state of being from which we can
create our lives from a higher place of service to humanity, co-creativity with the
Universe, and the opportunity to truly explore this rare opportunity to be a spirit
incarnated humanly?
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
What if?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kelly Sullivan Walden is a Dream Expert, a Certified
Clinical Hypnotherapist, and the author of the best-selling
book, I Had the Strangest Dream... the Dreamer’s
Dictionary for the 21st Century, as well as Discover Your
Inner Goddess Queen... an Inspirational Journey from
Drama Queen to Goddess Queen, and Zone Golf. Kelly
is featured regularly on FOX, NBC, CBS, and ABC news,
and in the magazines you love such as Cosmopolitan,
Elle, Bride, Seventeen, and US Weekly.
To find out more about Kelly’s gatherings, click here. You can read Kelly’s weekly
dream blog on AOL.com’s LemmonDrop.com. She is the creator/founder of The
Dream Project, a non-profit organization bridging the gap between the United Nations
and inner-city school kids.
Website: www.KellySullivanWalden.com
Website: http://DreamProjectUN.ning.com
Blog: http://www.LemonDrop.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 61
HOW TO APPLY THE POWER OF POSITIVE
AFFIRMATIONS THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY
Linda Boertjens
Brainwashing is a term perceived in a negative way by most people. But you know
what, I think our brains could actually do with a bit of a washing sometimes!
You see, everyone comes into this world with a clear mind and a belief that
everything is possible. All is positive and well. Remember as a child, you could do
and become everything—without any boundaries! As we grow up however, we pick
up beliefs, fears, and limitations from our surroundings and peers that gradually form
the person we are today. A lot of these beliefs unfortunately are negative and as we
build our lives, they limit us in our actions and being. Very often they therefore
contribute to unhappiness or feeling unfulfilled in our lives and business.
It can be the smallest—seemingly harmless—remark from a mother like, "Just let me
handle that, you are no good at that" that can convince you that you are not good at a
certain task. A teacher who calls a pupil "the clumsy one" can do more harm with this
remark than he realizes, when repeated often enough. With every remark, the belief
is harnessed further in the child that he/she indeed is clumsy. Even though a remark
is said with a smile or with an intention to be funny, it still leaves a legacy in the belief
system.
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This programming, of course, doesn't stop at adulthood; it keeps influencing people
in all stages of life. We are being influenced by our parents, kids, partner, friends,
colleagues, television, newspapers, and magazines, and so on. Sometimes this is in
a positive way, but very often we get influenced in a limiting, negative way. No
wonder we limit ourselves in so many ways! Belief is the key to your success. If you
believe you can do something, you can. If you believe you can't do something,
chances are that you will be right too.
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The good news is we can "reprogram" our mind and replace our negative, limiting
beliefs for positive contributing ones. Positive brainwashing is what I like to call it!
This can be done by the use of so-called "affirmations."
An affirmation is a positive self-talk statement stated in the present tense, that covers
a goal or mindset you want to achieve, and that "overrules" that limiting mindset or
those negative beliefs towards that goal. An example is, "I can easily do 10 sales
calls a day," or "I deserve to be happy and wealthy." Another example is, "I am an
excellent negotiator."
By stating this positive affirmation regularly during your day, you will achieve the goal
you have set for yourself easier and quicker. This positive self-talk helps your mind to
overcome beliefs that you have about yourself and that limit your success and
actions. You can compare your mind with a computer: when you change the input,
the output will change accordingly.
So, if you have the limiting belief that you are no good in public speaking—probably
because of negative experiences in the past—you can actually reprogram your mind
by stating the following affirmation, "I am an excellent public speaker. I love to speak
for huge audiences and people are excited to hear me talk." By affirming this belief
over and over, you will start to believe it and your mind will find a way to make this
statement a reality. At some stage, you might decide to do a course in public
speaking, or someone might ask you to speak at some kind of seminar—which
forces you to work on your speaking skills. Somehow, this positive affirmation helps
you to reach the "goal" you have set for yourself and open doors for you that normally
would have been kept closed. This works for virtually everything. Believe, and it will
happen. Let me illustrate this a bit more.
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Imagine standing before a big river with a heavy stream. You have to cross it, but you
don't think you can actually do it. Your belief is keeping you from crossing, although
you physically should be able to do it easily. It just looks too hard! Then, someone
else comes up from behind you, and without thinking starts crossing the river and
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 63
gets to the other side. His belief was positive, and he knew he could do it. The
interesting thing is that this will probably influence your belief—"If he can do it, I can
do it too"—and you will then cross the river without any problem at all.
Similar things happen when a group of people is introduced to the phenomenon of
fire walking. At first, a big group of people will say that there is no way they will walk
on fire… until other people with higher beliefs go first, and then all of a sudden
everyone else rushes over to do it as well.
So, think about YOUR beliefs, and try to discover which beliefs are actually holding
you back from reaching your full potential in your life. Then, one by one, start
eliminating these beliefs from your system. Formulate a positive affirmation that
counters your negative belief, and reaffirm it daily. Write them in your diary, on your
bathroom mirror, next to your computer—anywhere you see it often—and say the
affirmation out loud as often as possible. Make sure you create an empowering
Vision Board and include your affirmations. You will be happily surprised by the
results!
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Linda Boertjens is one of the cofounders of
OrangePeel Systems, an innovative company dedicated
to helping others achieve their goals and dreams in life
by offering their unique Vision Board Studio product—
the unparalleled leader in visualization systems. It
enables the user to create a dynamic Vision Board
using their own images, text, and audio, and display it in
a variety of ways as a constant reminder of their vision.
Linda is passionate about inspiring the world and
educating others about the power of visualization and
Vision Boards via OrangePeel, and writes a free weekly Splash of Inspiration email.
Website: www.VisualizeYourGoals.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 65
ARE YOU FLOWING DOWNSTREAM OR UPSTREAM?
Lorraine Cohen
Have you ever had one of those days where everything just seemed to fall into place
easily? It might have been a singular experience within the day or it felt like it was the
entire day. If you have (and you noticed it) you probably found yourself wishing that
every day had that same ease to the things you felt and did.
What is different about those days?
In May, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop called "The Art of Allowing"
facilitated by Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham-Hicks). They are well-known in the
spiritual community for their teachings on the Law of Attraction.
They introduced the idea of attracting what we want in life as going with the flow.
When we are going with the flow, we are moving downstream.
Have you ever gone rafting or tubing? Imagine what it would be like to paddle or float
against the current. It is the flow of water that determines how fast or how slowly we
arrive at our destination. Our emotions affect the intensity of the flow. (This is my
interpretation.)
Do you complain when things show up that you don't like and want?
For example:
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Can you recall an experience you expected (or hoped) would go a certain way and
you found things going in a different direction; perhaps one you weren't prepared for?
What did you do? Did you try to redirect what was happening to go the way you
wanted? Were you successful or did you create more stress and emotional turmoil
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for yourself? Or... did you let go, staying curious and resilient so that you could be
open to new possibilities?
In the end, how did things turn out?
You might not realize how much energy you are using to struggle against something
that is happening or has already happened. Your reaction does not change the
outcome that has already happened. It is what it is. Your attitude and emotions affect
how you deal with what is. Embrace the moment (flow downstream) or wrestle with it
(upstream).
As a child I had a little toy I'll call a Chinese puzzle. I'm not recalling the actual name.
It looked like a cigar and was woven out of a straw-like material that was flexible. The
inside was hollow. It had openings at either end and you put both index fingers into
each opening. If you pulled, the openings tightened on your fingers and you couldn't
remove them. It was only when you relaxed your fingers that you could slide them
out.
How might your life be different if you felt a greater acceptance of each momentary
experience rather than struggling against it?
Imagine how much energy and good feelings you could generate to attract what you
want?
Look, we're all human and not always at our best. So many things can get in the way
of being able to embrace whatever happens in life with a positive attitude.
Every experience, wanted or unwanted, has value to your personal development and
business success.
Next time you find yourself struggling against the moment, ask yourself:
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1. How does this person or situation challenge me? (To grow as a person, to
improve your business...?)
2. What can I learn from this experience that will improve the quality of my life?
3. What can I appreciate about this situation? What are the gifts? In other words,
find the value to you from the experience.
A friend of mine says that when she feels highly reactive to something (and can
recognize her reaction) that the person or situation is really working for her—
challenging her to look more deeply inside at her beliefs and behaviors. She sees
that situation as serving her to grow as a person, which is one of her core values.
She can then choose to continue to react (upstream) or integrate what she has
discovered into feeling better (downstream).
I have a note on my computer and refrigerator that reminds me I am the Source of
my attitudes, feelings, and experiences. I can reach for a better thought so that I can
embrace each moment (be okay with what is) and move forward to what I desire... or
not... well, you get the picture, right?
If you are feeling unhappy with your life, you've most likely been going upstream.
Ready to change direction?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Reverend Dr. Lorraine Cohen, creatively inspiring and
innovative, is recognized as cutting edge expert in the
fields of personal growth, spiritual awakening, and
conscious entrepreneurship. Founder of Powerfull Living,
she is a gifted spiritual life coach and advisor, published
writer, speaker, and popular radio broadcaster.
For more than 20 years, Lorraine has coached thousands
of spiritually-aware business owners, entrepreneurs, coaches, mentors, and authors
to create a prosperous business, meaningful career, and fulfilling life that align with
their life path. She guides people to find their way home to "who they are" so they
can hear and follow the calling of their soul.
An expert in Transforming Fear into POWER and removing barriers to success, she
helps people shift from being a victim of their circumstances to being the hero of
their own life story.
Website: www.Powerfull-Living.biz
Website: www.ISayYesNow.com
Website: www.AligningwithDestiny.com
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HOW ARE YOU THINKING TODAY?
Maria Erving
Who do you choose to be? A lot of people go around and make excuses for
themselves and never grow out of the rut that they have placed themselves in by
saying things like, "This is just the way I am," "I have always been like this," "It's who
I am," and so forth… but I disagree. It is what and who you CHOOSE to be, in THIS
moment. And we can always change that.
So instead of asking you, "How are you feeling today?," I'll ask you, "How are you
thinking today?"
You choose the thoughts you have and your feelings are the guides that will—
provided you listen—point you in the right direction. Rather than suppressing or
denying negative emotions, look at them in a different way.
They are telling you when something is off and when something is right.
So, choice is always available in every situation, and the way you behave in the
world illuminates what you really think of yourself. If you are doing drugs or abuse
yourself in other ways—like, for example, staying in an abusive relationship—I know
for sure that you are not paying any attention to your emotions that are there to help
you make the right choices for yourself.
So, how are you thinking today?
When you think of your dreams and goals, how are you thinking about them?
Honestly. Do you think that they are not really attainable because that is not who you
are, that you don't really have what it takes because that's just not for somebody like
you? Do you really believe in your own greatness, or is it only a nice concept?
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Or, do you feel excited and powerful, thinking that you will know when it is your turn
to do something in the process of manifestation, just by turning your attention to the
way you feel in every given moment and really trust the messages your feelings give
you?
That when something feels right to do, you do it immediately… or when something
feels negative, you go and have a drink instead of paying attention?
The shift in perspective and attentiveness is what makes the difference. Not physical
strength, not intellectuality, nor having a lot of money or friends who can help you. It's
all in your mind, in the way you think about yourself and life.
What if you didn't take your thoughts that seriously just for today, just to see how
ridiculous they actually are most of the time? What if you—just for today, instead of
believing every thought—just decide to observe them and not get involved in them as
much as usual?
You would then be able to see very clearly how you actually think, and even laugh
about them. It really is an eye opener, because most people are not even aware of
the kind of thoughts they have. They just believe them to be true and never question
them. And what if you did? Question them I mean. Ask yourself if your thoughts are
true, how you know they are true, and who told you that.
There are invisible rules and regulations in the world that mediocre people / the
masses live by—unconsciously, most of the time—that say that becoming a
millionaire, or even a billionaire, by doing what one loves is impossible, and that it's
only for a few lucky ones in the world.
They are never even questioning themselves why they can't be one of them. Who
taught them that they are not the ones? And is it really true?
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To not follow one’s dreams and do something grand with our passions, saying things
like, "I cannot be a photographer/dancer/writer (you name it) and make good money
from it because it's a tough business" is tough only for the people who think it is
tough! For some, it's an easy business. Why can't it be that way for you? Because of
your perspective.
Shift it and things begin to change.
When you do something you absolutely love, when it feels like breathing to you, your
passion will drive you forward—no matter what. No matter if the world tells you to
stop that nonsense and jump into the water instead and drown like everybody else.
When you are driven by your passion, you can't let yourself be governed by the outer
confusion, but wholly by your inner realization—but you have to be the one who
activates the power within you and you do so with your thoughts. By only being
WILLING to consider that there might be another way of living life. Your willingness is
enough. The power of your intention to challenge your way of thinking will open up
your mind to higher levels of existing.
Set your new intentions with focus on Love and other people, and you're on the path
to success!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Maria Erving is a gifted personal development teacher,
author, and inspirational writer. Throughout her life, Maria
has been interested in the variety of universal laws and
principles, and how they directly and indirectly impact our
lives. In her book, Energy Awareness: How to Use Energy
to Change Your Life, Maria explains the importance of
living from a place within where all manifestations come
from. She is dedicated to teaching and raising energy
awareness, and to inspire and empower others to live life from a space of freedom
and joy.
Originally from Sweden, Maria has enjoyed the privilege of living in Spain and
Finland, and currently resides in Norway—which she has called home for the past
ten years. She is educated in a variety of alternative therapies such as Neuro-
Linguistic Programming (NLP Master Practitioner), life coaching, Reiki (master),
Bach Flower Remedies, and several types of bodywork therapies such as energy
massage, acupressure, and even massage for dogs!
Maria's life is all about spiritual and personal growth, and her studies over the years
have included A Course in Miracles, the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, and Science
of Mind, among others.
Website: http://MariaErving.com
Website: www.EnergyAwarenessBook.com
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7 KEYS TO PROFOUND HAPPINESS
Mary Allen
These days my happiness quotient feels like it's sailing off the charts. Maybe it
seems I'm always rather cheerful. Trust me, I've ridden my share of emotional roller
coasters. I've prided myself in being "very human," which—in my mind—meant
feeling every human emotion. But, maybe my husband is right. Maybe HAPPINESS
IS the default state. Maybe if all resistance is simply removed from life, happiness
naturally emerges. Somehow, it seems to be flowing steadily into my life.
So why AM I so deliriously happy? Great question. This is the very question I was
asking myself last week. What is different? There are several distinct elements which
have come together. I imagine if you focused on these elements, you'd be deliriously
happy too.
1. Weekly Check-ups. For my Success and Inner Peace Bootcamps, I recently
created a weekly preparation form supporting participants to integrate key
elements of the program. Participants share progress toward top goals and
elements relating to "inner peace." After seeing participants share for several
weeks, I committed to completing the form too... and now send it to the group
each week.
There is something profound about reporting your life to another, whether to a
coach or group. This is where the happiness started to swell for me.
Some of my favorite questions on the Bootcamp Prep Form include:
• What has contributed to my sense of "inner peace" over the last
week?
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• What "inner peace culprits" interrupted my connection? How could I
eliminate this "inner peace culprit?"
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• How have I responded to Spirit over the last week?
• What new distinctions, realizations, or insights have occurred to me
over the past week?
• Where is my next opportunity for a breakthrough? (i.e. shifting a
limiting belief, etc.)
2. Daily Gratitude. This isn't a new concept. However, putting it
CONSISTENTLY into practice IS new, at least for me.
At the Mega-Book Marketing conference in March, I heard Jack Canfield
speak about the "gratitude rituals" of featured speakers in The Secret.
Apparently, each morning, before Rhonda Byrne gets out of bed, she connects
with feelings of "gratitude" until a tear comes to her eye. When James Ray
gets out of bed in the morning, as his right foot touches the floor, he says
"Thank." As his left foot touches the floor, he says, "You." And, all the way to
the bathroom, he says, "Thank," "You," "Thank," "You," "Thank," "You"... Jack
writes several "gratitudes" in his journal each morning before he gets up. I also
know Oprah has been flexing the "gratitude" muscle for years. She writes
down at least five things she's grateful for at the end of each day. Hmmmm.
In my book, The Power of Inner Choice, and in my Bootcamps, I talk about the
importance of keeping your energy vibration high. One of the most effective
ways is through "daily gratitude." I haven't always been consistent. But, I got
inspired. And, the Bootcamp Prep Form asks, "What Daily Ritual(s) did I
thoroughly enjoy this past week?" And, "What Daily Ritual would I like to give
special attention to over the coming week?"
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At the end of EACH day, I go to a Word document in my computer called
"Gratitudes.doc." I type in my "gratitudes," which for me, also includes the big
and little successes of the day. Completing the day on a high note of
appreciation is amazing. And, it's much harder to forget the good stuff pouring
in when you're writing it down each day. The compounding effect of this simple
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choice each day has contributed significantly to my happiness. And, it seems
to be attracting more and more items to include on my ever-expanding
gratitude list.
If you like to journal, you may want to pick up the 365 Days of Gratitude
Journal by Sherrie Austin. On her website you may also sign up for a "daily
dose of gratitude" at http://www.365DaysofGratitude.com (She's also a
Bootcamp participant!)
3. Focus on your STRENGTHS. One of my coaches, Ken Abrams, MCC, was
raving about Marcus Buckingham's latest book, Go Put Your Strengths To
Work. Next to this book was Strengths Finder 2.0; I bought both. Like many
people, I've put A LOT of attention on my areas for improvement, and glossed
over the strengths. Wouldn't it be egocentric to focus on your strengths? As
silly as it sounds, it didn't seem obvious to me what my "strengths" were.
Thank goodness for Strengths Finder 2.0. Seriously.
At the back of Strengths Finder 2.0 is a code, allowing you to take an
assessment online. There are 34 strength categories; they call "themes." The
test reveals your top five themes. It turns out my top five strength categories
are:
1) Connectedness. Hopefully, you feel my authentic "warm and fuzzies"
beaming at you through this article. Those with "connectedness" as a
strength have faith in the links between all things. We believe there are
few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
2) Input. This means I like to take in and archive LOTS of information and
input. That fits. I love gathering mass amounts of information to
empower and enlighten. I love hearing about people's lives. And, ask
my husband, I love "talky-talk" time.
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3) Futuristic. As much as I teach "living in the present," I am inspired by
the future, and love to inspire others with their visions of the future.
4) Relator. Hmmm. This one fits too. Those with the "relator" theme enjoy
close relationships, and find deep satisfaction in working hard with
friends (or clients) to achieve a goal.
5) Ideation. I never recognized myself as a big idea person; although it's
true... I'm fascinated by ideas. (Look at me go on strengths!). Our
strength is finding connections between seemingly disparate
phenomena. And, I guess creating my new program Conversations with
the Masters of Coaching reflects that strength.
I've found focusing on strengths allows me to own them on a deeper level. Life
feels easier. I feel even more authentic. It's certainly one of the key elements
which has boosted my happiness factor. Funny how we can resist our
strengths. I'm also recognizing and owning other strengths (why own just
five?).
4. Grounding in Stillness. A few weeks ago, my husband and I attended
Adyashanti's Five Day Silent Meditation Retreat. I've NEVER been a big
meditator. It's actually been my intention to meditate as a "daily ritual" for well
over a decade. However, spending five full days in silence with Adyashanti is
a great way to kick-start a meditation practice. It was for me.
There were six 30-40 minute meditations and two satsangs each day. At the
satsangs, Adya spoke, and then answered questions from the group. The
focus was simply to relax into the silence and stillness, without resisting any
thoughts. Since my life is typically rather intense, I was ecstatic to turn my
brain off for several days. I left in a rather dreamy, peaceful state.
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Once home, impulses would call me to meditate—which was a bit surprising at
first. However, I've come to realize that "grounding in silence" is one of my
keys to happiness.
Several days after the retreat, I was on a training call where I was inundated
with information. I got off the call, and instantly wanted to go meditate. But, I
didn't. I continued to work and work through the end of the day. Finally, before
going for a walk with my husband, I said, "I must meditate first." Fifteen
minutes of silence and stillness, and my profound happiness returned. Now
when I finish a long series of coaching calls or hop off of an intense training, I
claim 10-20 minutes of silence. From this "connected space," happiness
naturally emerges.
5. Honor Your Spirit's Guidance. How have I responded to Spirit over the last
week? Being attuned to my "inner voice" AND responding to it is another key
to profound happiness for me. By honoring our "inner guidance" consistently, a
natural rhythm emerges. My intellect believes it knows what my best path is.
However, the "real me" knows better. I've learned to listen for it, trust it, and
respond accordingly. My recent website launch, new Conversations with the
Masters of Coaching, inspiration to take the Strengths Finder 2.0 assessment,
and impulses to meditate are all a result of honoring my Spirit's guidance.
By the way, it's easier to recognize this voice when you’re grounded in
gratitude, stillness, your strengths, and you report in once a week about "How
you've been honoring your Spirit."
6. Intention. I remember reacting to my husband early in our relationship. I was
upset. "You want me to be happy ALL the time! You want me to be like
Elizabeth." (Elizabeth is the friend who introduced us, and she seems happy
all of the time.) In my mind, this wasn't realistic. My reality was ups and downs.
How could he expect me to be happy ALL the time?
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Fortunately, I investigated this assumption more objectively. Hmmmm. "John
wants me to be happy all the time." That's rather sweet. If I'm not all busy
reacting to this thought "He wants me to be happy all the time," maybe I would
appreciate that he cares about my happiness. I turned the statement around, "I
want me to be happy all the time." At the core of my being, this IS true. I hadn't
really thought about this possibility. Somehow, this idea stuck in my
subconscious mind. An intention was born.
I actually forgot about this mini-realization until I began writing this article. Just
creating the possibility of "being happy all the time" sets intention in motion.
7. And EVERYTHING. I could go on and on about other elements contributing to
my happiness (but this is getting a bit long!). When you're profoundly happy, it
seems that EVERYTHING is adding to it. Some of the other biggies include
laughter, living squarely in the present moment, aligning with reality (however
it unfolds), being silly, snuggling on the couch, watching sunsets, having daily
walks, reading inspiring books, staying at choice, and being surrounded by
people you love.
One of the biggest bonuses of being profoundly happy is seeing the look on
my husband's face as he witnesses my happiness. I'm not faking it. Nor am I
"trying" to be happy to please him. It's the natural result of intention +
responding to spirit + grounding in stillness + focusing on strengths + gratitude
+ weekly check-ins. It's the natural result of dropping all resistance to life.
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Maybe next month will be different. But for now, I wouldn't trade any of these
elements from my life. Maybe they'll work for you too. Enjoy!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Allen, CPCC, MCC, is America’s Inner Peace
Coach, author of The Power of Inner Choice, and host
of Conversations with the Masters, interviewing best-
selling authors, speakers, and coaches including Dr.
Wayne W. Dyer, Caroline Myss, Debbie Ford, Ken
Wilber, Dr. David Hawkins, Byron Katie, and others.
Her clients include transformational leaders,
entrepreneurs, and even a couple of billionaires.
Seven years ago, she had a profound experience that
changed her life forever, giving her access to a serene inner peace she’d never
known before. She now helps "conscious achievers" awaken to greater everyday
inner peace, as they realize their inspired goals.
Mary leads the annual 4-day Inner Peace Immersion Retreat and is currently in the
middle of a 5-city tour.
You can learn more at: www.AwakeningBeyondAchievement.com.
She guides audiences in "radical awakening" and "radical releasing," resulting in
expanded success, inner peace, and freedom. Mary also leads several group
coaching programs including Momentum Mastery Monthly and Ultimate Impact for
Transformational Leaders. Mary is a graduate of University of Wisconsin (Madison),
and both CTI and Coach U.
Website: www.LifeCoachMary.com
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HOW TO STOP AUTOMATIC NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS
Michael Lee
Automatic negative thoughts can cause serious damage to your confidence and your
decision making skills. They can keep you from doing the things you've always
wanted to do and from saying the things you want to say. And, well, that's not much
of a life at all, is it?
Fortunately, there are ways to stop these automatic negative thoughts before they
take over your life! Read on to find out how!
Step 1: A Positive Thought a Day
Thinking negative might be second nature to you, but that doesn't mean you can't
think positive thoughts either.
As your assignment, I want you to think of at least one positive thought each day. It
doesn't have to be something remarkably grand like being promoted or winning the
lottery. It can be as simple as having a good breakfast or having a roof above your
head.
Do this everyday without fail and soon positive thinking will be as natural as eating
and breathing!
Step 2: Live in the Now
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Automatic negative thoughts usually center on what has already happened and what
might happen in the future. To keep those thoughts out, invest yourself in the
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 81
present. Concentrate only on the now so you won't waste time worrying about the
past and the future.
For example, if you're meeting a blind date tomorrow night, don't waste your time
thinking about whether the whole thing is going to run smoothly or not. If you're at
work, focus on your work. If you're at home, focus on finishing your chores. And if
you're already driving to meet with your blind date, focus on your driving.
Before you know it, you're already face to face with your date! And since you didn't
waste your time thinking negatively, you are much more prepared to just experience
the present.
Step 3: Counter Your Thoughts
If you really want to get rid of those automatic negative thoughts, there's no better
way to do it than to counter them with positive thoughts. Good vs. Evil.
Every time you find yourself thinking, "I am fat," tell yourself, "Cancel! Cancel!
Cancel!" Then say something like, "I choose to become fit and healthy." (Note:
Saying something like, "I am sexy and desirable" might not be accepted by your
subconscious mind immediately, so use the word "choose" to make it more
acceptable.)
Or every time your mind thinks, "I'm not going to win this race," think, "I choose to be
a winner!" Doing this helps steer your mind in the right direction and pretty soon, it'll
get the hint.
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Automatic negative thoughts are normal. Everyone gets them, but now you know
how to stop them from being a constant presence in your life!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael Lee is the author of the highly acclaimed How To
Be An Expert Persuader which has dramatically changed
the lives of several thousands of people. He has
undergone years of intensive research and personal
experiments in the field of persuasion, motivation, and
self-development.
He is also a professional copywriter and co-author of
101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life, Vol. 3 along with Mark Victor Hansen, Les
Brown, Ken Blanchard, and other personal development experts.
Website: www.20DayPersuasion.com
Website: www.20DayPersuasion.com/GoldAccess.php
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I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
Mudd Lavoie
Once upon a time, more or less long ago, you and I were born with a treasure chest
snuggled deep down in the fuzzy part of our hearts, and this treasure chest was jam-
packed with the most wonderful happiness one could ever wish for.
Because we were such precious beings, the gods and goddesses, angels and fairies,
leprechauns and other magical creatures rallied together to scatter keys to our
treasure in gazillions of places. They wanted to make sure we could find the keys at
any time of day or night, at any place here or there, in every city and village around
the world.
How easy it was to find the first key in the arms that cradled us as we sucked our
warm milk; the next in the brand new diaper that softly wrapped our tender pampered
buns; and the very enchanting one contained in the lullaby that was sung to us as we
slowly drifted into slumber.
The weeks and months went by, and we discovered with mounting excitement the
keys hidden in our teddy bears and Barbie dolls, and in all the toys and games that
filled our days with fun. Thus it became natural for us, as soon as we woke up in the
morning, to think about having as much fun as we had had the day before. And as
soon as the thought of having fun popped into our heads, the keys to create it
popped up all over the place.
Little did we know, in the early stages of our journey, that the act of focusing on what
we desired worked as a magnet to attract the keys that unlocked our treasure chest
of happiness. But day in, day out, we focused… we imagined… we pretended… and
we embraced with laughter and joy the many magical moments that made up our
burgeoning lives.
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Oh how happy we were! How passionately we lived every single one of our days,
bright-eyed and amazed.
Even when it rained, or when we were stuck in the car on our way to grandma's, or
woe is me when we were sick in bed, we found the key to instant happiness through
a game that was then widespread: I Spy with my Little Eye.
How thrilling it was to explore our surroundings; to scan in detail what made up our
teensy-weensy world; to look for everything "red" or "blue" or "green." Was it the red
apple in the basket… the blue numbers on the dashboard… the green stripes in the
wallpaper? I Spy with my Little Eye prompted us to be still―in the moment―and to
sharpen our awareness… all in the name of fun.
But as we grew and our world broadened, the game changed and the plot thickened! In our teens, our little eye was deviously driven to spy on less amusing things: the
pimple on our nose which we were certain had begun to glow; the tooth in the middle,
on the right, that had gotten crooked overnight; and our thighs―geez!―the way they
rubbed together and made this squishy noise that was no doubt heard throughout the
cafeteria as we walked towards our table, staring at the floor, thinking everyone was
mocking us.
And now decades later, our adult spying eye has become an expert at zooming in on
not only our personal faults and mishaps, but also on those of the people in our
family and the ones at school, in the office, on the street... Eager to feed our hungry
eye, we scrutinize the news for more: murder, fraud, famine, poverty, bigotry, racism,
war... Evidently, it’s all gloom and gore!
And just when we think we’ve reached the peak of horror and disappointment, it turns
out the purple drapes we ordered don’t match the purple in our duvet cover.
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Disenchanted, we cannot help but recite to our stressed-out self:
I spy with my little eye
no keys, no chest,
no happiness.
What to Do? I won’t ask you to stop playing the game―by now, it’s deeply ingrained. I won’t tell
you to turn a blind eye on the state of your nose and the world around you―people
will claim you’re letting yourself go or, worse, that you’re an insensitive jerk.
We don’t want to hear that, do we?
No… there’s enough drama as it is.
So the only solution I’ve found―and believe me, I’ve lived through numerous
pimples, pitfalls, and pffft―is to play the game, see the drama, but focus on the
humor underneath the tumor.
The Ultimate Key I’m sure you’ve heard people declare, when something unfortunate happens to them,
"One day, we’ll look back on this and laugh." Well I say why wait, let’s laugh right
away!
Because my karma has taught me the following lesson: Our level of happiness is
directly proportionate to the time elapsed between the unfortunate event (pffft) and
the burst of laughter (lol), i.e.:
happiness = pffft-lol
In this equation, the hyphen represents the shortest elapsed time possible between
the disaster and the roaring laughter.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
This is precisely what we are shooting for. This tiny line is the key to our happiness.
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 86
Now I don’t know how long your line is at the moment, but if it takes you a few years
to finally be able to chuckle about something that hurt you or broke your heart, I’d say
your line is pretty long. Don’t worry, though: your humor is alive and well and growing
under your pile of manure.
If it takes you only a month or two before you crack up and laugh―during which
period you complain, bicker, rage, and have either migraines or heartburn, BUT you
also either meditate or jog, read about Buddha or study the Torah, take up fly fishing
or watch Oprah―then this means you are determined to snap out of your rut and quit
tormenting yourself. Bravo! For this, I give you 500 Giggle Points and a bamboo back
scratcher.
Eventually―and this I know for sure―you will reach a point where immediately upon
hitting a bump in the road, you will accept, forgive, let go, relinquish control, trust in
the journey, and spy with your little eye something that is funny.
That day, sweet soul, you will roll on the floor, laughing your heart out. And you will live happily ever after.
~ THE END ~
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 87
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mudd Lavoie decided to honor her creative roots and
started to blog in both English and French, in 2007,
after decades of unfulfilling jobs in fields such as
banking, housing co-op development, advertising, and
even the film industry. An avid doodler and
consummate dreamer, she created "Oza Meilleur," her
cartoon character alter ego, and together they
embarked on an imaginary road trip to find happiness
in all the nooks and crannies of everyday life.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
When she isn’t "on the road," Mudd devotes herself to being a Certified Giggle
Coach—a title she bestows upon herself with great humor. But rest assured that
underneath all this whimsy lies a gal who takes her mission seriously: to help people
find their own happiness… one giggle at a time!
Website: www.OzaMeilleur.com
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PRIVATE JOURNEY
Nina Ferrell
I was sitting on my usual spot on the low wall near the Kalk Bay harbor this morning,
having my coffee, accompanied by my little miniature Doberman who was straining at
her little leash to get away, frustrated by my not wanting to move from the spot.
A large short-haired Belgian Shepherd which I had seen wandering in the
neighborhood the day before, passed by in front of us, with a wire-haired terrier
following him closely. I did not pay much attention to them, but a short while later one
of the elderly fishermen who was also sitting on the low wall in the sunlight said in my
direction, "He is on his own private journey… did you see him?" I enquired of him
what he meant, and he said this, "That big dog lives up at that house up there, you
see the house against the hill with the pointed roof? Well, he knows this whole area,
and every so often he comes home with another dog or two following him, like new
friends. He is on his own private journey."
Somehow these words resounded in me, and as I sat in the sun watching the world
go by, looking at the sea and the blue sky, I thought about our different private
journeys—how we are so sure we live in a world populated by others, but we actually
live in a world of our own individual making, where we have certain events and
backdrops in common.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It remains my and your private journey, always. We are responsible for how it looks,
what happens in it, and as we become more aware of our ability to manipulate it, our
ability to change it, we DO change it surreptitiously in a way that we do not even
notice. You are not the same person now that you were this morning, nor is your
world the same. And it all has to do with your changing viewpoint of it, either seeing it
as a less welcoming place, feeling less empowered due to something which you
have perceived or experienced, or seeing it as happier every day, more welcoming,
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through your understanding of your ability to control it simply by controlling your
vibration—your emotional set point, the way you feel every day.
There is nothing wrong with feeling unhappy, feeling bad, except that that is not what
we came here to do. And our acceptance of the inevitability of an unhappy life by
seeing ourselves as powerless, unable to affect our fate, makes it so.
Our lives are truly modeling clay in our hands. We choose the colors and the shapes,
we decide what to do with it.
And what we decide is to be, becomes so. So why not try happiness? And why not
get into the mindset that happiness can be ongoing? And that the tree you run into at
200 miles an hour when you run into contrast can also be a big mound of
marshmallows lying in your path. You can change even that.
It is your private journey.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 90
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nina Ferrell grew up in South Africa, born to a very
conservative family. She had the disconcerting ability to
see "dead people" as a little girl—and of course, when
she realized that other people did not see and live with
that dimension, she found it surprising, later on in her
life. During 2004, she went through some astounding
contrast which, as a result, opened her up to an entirely
new world: the discovery of the Law of Attracting, understanding that she was in fact
a channel, very psychic, and a healer as well. It took some time for her to integrate
this. At the moment, she is enjoying being a professional channel and medium, a
spiritual coach, a healer, and a motivational writer.
Nina is cofounder of the Law of Attraction Club website, along with Robin Retallick.
She currently lives in a tiny mountain village called Gouda, in the Western Cape of
South Africa.
Website: www.LOA-C.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 91
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD FUN?
Pat Mussieux
How many times, lately, have you told yourself, "I'm just having TOO much fun!"? I
don't hear this often enough from women—in fact, many of us don't even make the
time for fun in our lives. We are much too serious! Our schedules are full. Business
has taken over our lives.
I have been guilty of that. Often, like sex in a marriage, it comes down to the cold
hard fact that fun must be scheduled—or it doesn't happen at all! I know that women
feel that is taking it a step too far. Fun should be spontaneous. Well—yah—of course
it should. But, really, when is the last time you had too much fun?
I advise my clients to start thinking about the months of June, July, and August.
Summer in Canada can be short and, before we know it, fall is right around the
corner. Now, I'm not rushing things but I do know that, unless you plan ahead and
write things (in ink!) in your calendar, it's just not going to happen. So, I want you to
begin, right now, to develop the habit of scheduling fun in your day—yes, starting
today!
This is a great habit that can easily be transferred into your business and/or career.
People don't seem to be having fun at work anymore. We can change that! You do
have the power and you are in control of your calendar.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
When I was on my world tour, I had a job to do. I was there as a Tour Leader, to
assist and guide the passengers and write the travel blog for the trip. That, in itself,
was fun enough for me! And while the itinerary was full of educational and interesting
things to do and places to go, we did have a ton of fun too! In Asia, we—the tour
leaders—had decided, while in Hong Kong, to go to the market and get some fun
wigs which we would wear at the time of the bush party. The shopping was a whole
new experience for me—late at night, in the streets of the big city, looking for fun
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 92
wigs, of all things! Then, while in Japan, we visited some of the most amazing
temples and also had fun there. My good friend, Susan, was one of the few who
were able to get through the little hole in this column. The point of this was if you
were able to get through the hole, you would then be able to enter the kingdom of
heaven! Well, in my dreams... that's for sure! It was all good fun!
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father."
Roger von Oech
So, whether it's trying a new fitness class, learning a new language, or getting out
there and partying, it's essential to our health and well-being to have fun. In what I
believe is the first edition of Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen's Chicken Soup
for the Soul book (which, to this day, is my most favorite book), there is a story about
a man by the name of John Goddard. At the age of 15, he sat down at his kitchen
table in Los Angeles and wrote three words at the top of a piece of paper, "My Life
List." Under that heading, he wrote 127 goals.
Since then, he has completed 108 of them. Now, I'm not necessarily telling you to go
to that extreme. However, I am suggesting that, this coming (long) weekend, you sit
down with your family and make your own list of "My Fun Things to Do List." Let your
mind go wild.
Some of the items John listed included: (just to give you food for thought!)
• Learn to fence
• Appear in a Tarzan movie
• Become a ham radio operator
• Become proficient in the use of a boomerang
• Watch a fire walking ceremony
• Perform 200 sit-ups
• Visit the birthplace of my grandfather
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
• Ride a horse
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• Explore the Nile River
I love to watch Dr. Oz on TV—that man obviously loves doing his show. If a
prominent heart surgeon can host a show where he has so much fun, each and
every day, why are you being so darn serious in life? He knows good heart health
and obviously "playing at what you do" is a very good thing!
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
1. Make time, today, to begin your list of "Fun Things to Do."
2. Share this list with your family and hold yourself accountable by putting dates for
each item.
3. This weekend, do one fun thing that "you have always been meaning to do" and
pay attention to how that makes you feel. And hey, if it was that much fun… then
do it again!
Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life.
When you add more fun to your life, you are developing the confidence and courage
to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live. You also become much
more fun to live with!
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 94
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pat Mussieux, heralded as "The Queen of Networking,"
has x-ray vision for seeing relationship-building
opportunities and the creativity to convert them into
clients! Pat delivers high-impact, low-cost, customized
mindset and marketing strategies for turbo-charging
women entrepreneurs and small business owners to
great profits.
Pat is the author of The 7 Steps to Growing Your
Business by Getting Out of Your Own Way, teaching
women entrepreneurs how to get their message out and enjoy massive results,
removing the self-imposed barriers of habits, attitudes, beliefs, and expectations!
Recently, Pat was nominated for the 2010 RBC Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of
the Year Award.
Through her coaching programs and products, Pat shows her clients how to
experience freedom inside and out and create the life they truly want to live—now!
It's a "no excuses" approach!
To begin experiencing Pat's coaching, you can enjoy some of her high content, easily
applied mindset training products, at no charge, beginning right now at:
www.ConfidenceAndCourage.com. You'll love Pat's high content mindset and goal
setting training products to help you get past barriers and on to living your best life—
at any age!
Website: www.ConfidenceAndCourage.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 95
5 SIMPLE STEPS TO HAPPINESS NOW
Pete Koerner
Everyone is seeking happiness. This is a truth that supports the food, drug,
entertainment, self-help, retail, automotive, and every other industry. People are
seeking happiness; and, when they can't find it, they seek to escape their discomfort.
Of course, there are those who are seeking happiness through misery, and some
who are miserable no matter what they do—but happiness is the ultimate point. And
happiness is right here, right now—not someplace else, or some time in the future.
People who are unhappy and wish to be happy need to find their way from where
they are to where they wish to be. Oftentimes, there is a "payoff" to our self-sabotage
and self-imposed misery; some part of us always thinks it is benefiting from carrying
an extra burden—as if we were collecting "points" we can cash in later for an
equivalent reward (payable in happiness). Well, before you take another step, you
must realize that "victims" are not happy people. The plan of happiness through
martyrdom is a fundamentally flawed concept—as evidenced by the obvious lack of
happy martyrs.
Happiness is the result of being in alignment with, or in harmony with, the natural flow
and order of your life. Happiness is not simply the absence of intense negative
emotions; many people think they are "happy" simply because they aren't sad or
angry. Happiness is the energy of positive expectancy, joy, contentment, faith, love,
and gratitude. You do not need another person, or external circumstances, to
experience these things; but, if you are seeking something you don't already have,
you will need a guide, or a map—and maybe some help—getting there.
Here are five steps you can follow as a basic guide for "turning that frown upside
down," or turning unhappiness into happiness:
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 96
1. Let go of, release, and forget the victim identification. If you aren't happy
and you think you have reasons, then you have a victim consciousness. There
is no reason for winter and summer; there is no reason for happy or unhappy.
But there is a recipe for these things; and the recipe for happiness does not
include victim hood, blame, regret, remorse, or self-pity. What happened
happened, and you can't change it; but it can change you for better or worse.
Being a victim is a choice you make AFTER something happens to you. This
isn't to minimize whatever happened in the past; it is actually to put it back in
the past where it belongs—taking only wisdom and growth and leaving
judgments, limiting beliefs, fears, and emotions.
2. Decide that you are happy. Decide and declare that you are reading this and
doing these things for one reason and only one reason: to be happy. And you
are! This is your decision. The truth is not "things are as they are and that
makes me unhappy." The truth is that "things are as they are and I am
choosing how to respond with my thoughts and emotions." Happiness is a
choice. Make that choice now, or there is no point wasting any more time
trying to be happy.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
3. Find an incentive to be happy. Why should you be happy? Why should you
try to change or do things differently? What is in it for you? What good is it for
you to be happy? I have some answers to these questions, but you'll need to
find your own incentive if you're the one doing what it takes to be happy. But if
you need some help getting started, happiness is as good an incentive as any.
No matter what you do in life, happiness is somehow going to be at the root of
your actions—the quest for happiness, at least. Being happy is the whole point
of life; but there are other practical benefits as well. When you are happy, your
body isn't in the stress response. The stress response, according to the
American Psychological Association (APA) could be responsible for up to 90%
of all trips to the doctor's office. Stress is responsible for unwanted weight
gain, ED, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and most other
medical problems. Besides medical benefits, happy people age slower, live
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longer, and have better access to their mental faculties (they're smarter...).
And while they're here, they enjoy it more. Keep in mind: happy people are in
the same world as unhappy people; they've just decided to look at it in such a
way as to be happy.
4. Find something to be happy about. The song says, "Grey skies are GOING
TO clear up, put on a happy face..." and not, "Wait until the weather changes
to be happy." If you wish to master your emotions and be happy, then you
need a strategy for "rainy days." Anticipating the "sunshine" you know is
coming is more than enough to be happy about—unless you are simply
clinging too tightly to a painful memory or a great fear. If this is the case, you
may need to look into some of the new Energy Psychology techniques, such
as Z-Point, EFT, or TAT, that you can use at home, by yourself, to eliminate
fears and obstacles to happiness. Otherwise, you can recall a happy memory,
a funny event, something you are excitedly looking forward to in the future, or
something you are grateful for, or happy about, now. Just look around and
imagine everything disappearing if you have forgotten how to be happy for
what you have.
5. Do something different. Do something to shift your attention—and your
polarity—from negative to positive. Do whatever it is you love to do, and if you
can't think of anything you love, try: helping someone; being grateful; saying
affirmations declaring your happiness; studying spirituality, personal
development, personal growth, emotional self-management, enlightenment, or
energy psychology techniques; reading, or doing anything that expands your
heart or mind. Go for a walk or to a park, lake, river, or beach; but do
something with the intention of enjoying it.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Also practice reframing your complaints from negatives to positives. If you can
assume that things are happening to hurt you, you can just as easily assume they
aren't. Find something—an animal, a person, a place, a thing, a job, etc. —to
appreciate and be happy about, and write it down in a positive way so you can refer
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back to it as a "homing thought" as often as you need to. Happiness is right here,
right now—right where you are. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to be
happy; you simply need to choose to be happy and let it be.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula and an
expert in the fields of Peak Performance and Stress
Management. Over the past 15 years, Pete has helped
countless individuals learn to recognize and manage the
chronic and acute stress in their lives, so that they can
achieve Freedom from Stress and find the Happiness we
all seek.
In addition to writing, speaking, and teaching on the
subjects of health, happiness, and stress management, Pete is also a member of the
Camden County Fire Rescue Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) Team and
operates a private practice in St. Marys, Georgia, with his wife and partner, Jennifer
Koerner—who also specializes in helping people overcome fears, phobias, grief, and
other stresses in their lives.
Website: www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com
Website: www.TheBeliefFormula.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 99
YOUR PATH TO SUCCESS
Sheri Kaye Hoff
"Inner happiness actually is the fuel for success."
Dr. John Hagelin
You might feel like you are doing and thinking the right things. Maybe you have a
goal poster, affirmations, a strong vision, and you are action oriented, but you have
some goals that seem to remain elusive.
There are a few things you can consider:
• One is that the joy and happiness need to be in place first
• Two is that you may have a limiting belief in play (I am not worthy, I don't
deserve this, etc.)
• And three, you may need to expand your capacity to receive
Create your happiness first. Feel good and think good thoughts. Sounds simple,
but in reality is challenging for many. You can raise your level of happiness with
techniques like using an appreciation journal, be loving, moving your body, listening
to music, meditating, praying, getting close to nature, refusing to indulge in things like
complaining, circular thinking, worrying. The more you practice these techniques, the
more you will notice higher levels of happiness in your life.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Release limiting beliefs. The first part to releasing limiting beliefs is to be able to
recognize them. Use your emotions to help you see limiting beliefs. If you are feeling
"bad," you often have a limiting belief that is in play. The belief might be some version
of "I am not worthy," or "Good things never last," and the list could go on.
Recognizing the limiting belief is sometimes enough to release it. Other times, a
belief can hang on stubbornly. In these cases, you can write down all of the thoughts
and feelings you have around that belief. Then tear it up and rewrite the situation and
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 100
thoughts the way that you want them to be. Fold up the paper and carry it with you in
your wallet and read it often. When you release a limiting belief, you feel freedom and
create room for manifesting your goals.
Expand your capacity to receive. Do you have trouble accepting gifts? Do you say,
"Oh, you shouldn't have" instead of "Thank you" when someone presents you with a
gift? Maybe you love giving, but have a hard time accepting gifts. This is an area
where I have struggled. Here is a fun exercise. Write down one of your goals. Then,
write down "I am receiving (your goal) now." Do this for each aspect of your goals or
vision statements. Notice your feelings and thoughts as you do this. Do you feel a
shift in your energy?
Practice cultivating happiness, releasing limiting beliefs, and expanding your capacity
to receive. You will begin to see those elusive goals manifest in your life.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 101
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sheri Kaye Hoff, MA, CGCL, is a Life Coach, Author,
and College Professor.
Coach Sheri suffered the tragic loss and pain of
discovering her brother after his suicide death, and she
eventually rediscovered what it means to live a life of joy
and success.
She authored and published Keys to Living Joyfully,
which is available on Amazon. Ms. Hoff is the author and
publisher of the eBook, Coach Sheri Kaye Hoff's Top 25 Life Coaching Tips.
Additionally, Coach Sheri is the author of several blogs, numerous articles, poems,
and short stories. She has been interviewed in the Chicago Sun Times, The
Chronicle of Coaching / The Coaching Commons, How to Sell Your Book, and over
20 other blogs.
The creator of How to Write a Book Fast and Fabulously Workshop, Your Path to
Success: Jump Start the Joy in Your Life Coaching Progam, and the Coaches
Corner: Grow Your Biz Workshop, Coach Sheri possesses a unique creative process
and is able to teach and inspire others to tap their creativity and inner joy. She works
with individuals to find their path to success and also coaches writers and other
coaches. She presents her programs to individuals, groups, writing clubs, life
coaches, non-profits, and many others.
Coach Sheri has an MA in Organizational Management. Additionally, she teaches
ethics and business classes at the collegiate level. Coach Sheri is ready and waiting
to inspire you.
Website: www.LifeIsJoyful.org
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 102
HAPPINESS AND THE POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Tania Boutin
Have you ever wondered, "Why can’t things just go easy for me? How can we be
happy when there is so much negativity out there? How do I become happy?"
Your happiness and unhappiness are created internally. How you feel by way of
happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, is not a reflection of your success, failures, or
other external factors. Happiness and fulfillment are determined by your opinions and
beliefs in your mind. Even your successes and perceived failures are your beliefs in
your mind, and that can be changed with circumstances and time.
Life is only what you make of it and you choose your happiness. Now you might be
saying, "Well, I didn’t choose this or that to happen to me." All I can say to you is,
"Yes you did!" Maybe not consciously, but the mind is such a wonderful powerful tool
that your thoughts have brought you to where you are today.
You and only you are in control of your life and happiness. Only you can control your
thoughts and emotions and beliefs. If you are not going to make you happy, who will?
You have the choice to either live your life the same way you have been or change
what you don’t want into actions that you do want. If you are happy with the way
things are and are living to your potential, then just keep on doing what you are
doing—as pure happiness is what we all strive for.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
Everybody’s definition of happiness is different. What makes one person happy might
not make the next person happy. You need to take a look on the inside and ask
yourself, "Am I doing what I need to do today to live my life to the fullest and to
achieve the level of happiness that I want? And if not, what can I do today to align
myself in the right direction of accomplishing that?"
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 103
We all can have happiness in our lives; we just have to DECIDE that we want it and
that we will not accept anything less than that. Negativity can be sent out the door
and replaced with positive thoughts.
You may be asking yourself how you can stay positive when there is so much
negativity around. How can you stay positive when your circumstances are bad or
you are going through problems? Regardless of what is going on around you, there
are also things going on inside of you. There will be feelings and thoughts that you
will continually experience. These feelings and thoughts are what leads you to take
action.
When you become aware of the way you think, you can take action to use positive
situations to your advantage, and reshape the negative ones. The goal is to think
positively, regardless of the situation, and make a conscious effort to see
opportunities instead of obstacles.
Positive thinking means you replace all negative thoughts with hopeful, faith-filled
thoughts. You should dwell on the good, not the bad. You should talk about what is
right, not what is wrong. You should focus on the possibilities and not on the losses.
You need to keep on practicing and practicing until these steps become part of you.
Positive thinking must be reinforced with positive actions. When you have a solid
foundation and genuinely believe in the best and not the worst, you are ready to step
out and take some positive action. If you fall, get back up and renew your faith.
Practice positive thinking—act on it and you will succeed!
You can be positive for life, and it begins with you. What kind of life will you choose?
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
It’s The Thought That Counts Page 104
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tania Boutin, CLTC, NLCS, is a Certified Life
Transformation Coach who loves to inspire
"Mompreneurs" to live the authentic, happy life they
deserve—guilt free!—by assisting them in
discovering who they really are above and beyond
the roles they play as mother, daughter, sister, wife,
and by transforming their life story to the way they
are longing it to be.
Her Happiness Generator Workshops and
Authentically You! Groups offer support and encouragement to all Mompreneurs,
allowing them to grow together in a safe, non-judgemental environment, and from the
comfort of their home or office.
Tania is also a co-author in the book Mompreneur Extraordinaire being released in
the Fall/Winter 2010.
Website: www.TaniaBoutin.com
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This eBook was a collaborative effort in so many ways! I feel deeply grateful for the
extraordinary support I received and for the invaluable contributions of friends, family,
colleagues, and the 24 leading experts who have so generously shared in this journey
with me.
First and foremost, I extend my deepest gratitude and thanks to Ali Brown, Ariane de
Bonvoisin, Carolyn Ellis, Eva Gregory, Guy Finley, Hemal Radia, Jackie Jones, Jeanna
Gabellini, Jeanne Hounshell, Jim Donovan, Joe Rubino, Kathleen Gage, Kelly Sullivan
Walden, Linda Boertjens, Lorraine Cohen, Maria Erving, Mary Allen, Michael Lee, Mudd
Lavoie, Nina Ferrell, Pat Mussieux, Pete Koerner, Sheri Kaye Hoff, and Tania Boutin, for
enthusiastically and wholeheartedly granted me permission to reprint your material.
Words can never convey how much I appreciate your contribution and participation!
Annie Ayotte (www.Ayoweb.qc.ca): for your wholehearted dedication, graphic design
genius, skillful artistry, and website wizardry.
Kathleen Gage: for having seen me through this entire eBook creation process with love,
grace, encouragement, incredible patience, and consummate skill. Thank you for
holding my hand and nourishing my heart. You are the best mentor in the world and a
most extraordinary friend.
Gaetane Beaupre: for being the best mother in the world, for your unconditional love, and
for always believing in me.
Daisy and Fanny (my dogs) and Sandy and Chanelle (my cats): for having opened my
heart in ways I never would have imagined. Thank you, my sweet angels.
www.ChantalBeaupre.com
And finally, and most important, I thank God—the Divine Force that continues to guide
my life.
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