Grammar Girl's™ 101 Troublesome Words You'll Master in No ...

Formymom,whowouldn’thave

wantedmetoshyawayfrom

somethingjustbecauseitwashard.

Contents

Introduction

Addicting

AfricanAmerican

Aggravate

Alright

Alternate

Alternative

American

BegstheQuestion

Bemused

Between

Billion

Biweekly

BringandTake

Cactus

Celtic

Companies

Couldn’tCareLess

Decimate

Dialogue

Dilemma

Do’sandDon’ts

Eldest

Else’s

E-mailVersusEmail

Enormity

Entitled

Flaunt

ForFree

FreeGift

Gauntlet

Gender

GoneMissing

Gotten

Graduated

Hanukkah

HaveGot

Healthy

Hopefully

I’d’ve

Jealous

LightedandLit

Momentarily

Myriad

Neither…Nor

Noisome

Orientate

OutLoud

Percent

Peruse

Plethora

Preventative

Smokey

ThanIVersusThanMe

Toward

TryAnd

Unique

Utilize

Verbal

Website

YouandI

AbouttheAuthor

Acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

Englishisalwayschanging,andthatleavesuswithtroublesomewordsandphrases

thatareonlysortofwrong.Somepeopleinsisttheoldwaystousewordsaretheonly

correctways,andotherpeopleusewordsinnewerwayswithoutevenrealizingthe

wordsarecontroversial.Likeitornot,onewayEnglishchangesisthrough

misunderstandingsandmistakesthatgainaholdinthemindsofenoughpeople.

Inotherinstances,wereallyhavenorules.Somewordshavetwoacceptablespellings

ortwoacceptablepasttenseforms.Sometimesexpertstakemoreofa“thiswayis

better,butthatwayisn’twrong”approach.It’sfrustratingforpeoplewhojustwantto

knowwhattowriteintheirpapersore-mailmessages.

Finally,somewordsaresoconfusingthatpeoplewishtheruleswouldchange,butthey

haven’t.

Inthisbook,Itacklemanyoftheseinfuriatingwords—mostofwhichIhaven’tcovered

inotherbooksbecausetheyseemedtootricky—andImakejudgmentsaboutwhich

onesyoushouldusewithoutguilttoday,andwhichonesyoushouldshunalittle

longer.Youlikelywillnotagreewitheverychoice,butatleastI’vetakenastand.In

confusingcaseslikethe101thatfollow,I’vefoundthatmostpeopleappreciate

someoneelsedoingtheresearch,measuringtheoptions,andmakinga

recommendation.

ADDICTING

What’stheTrouble?Addictingissometimesusedinterchangeablywith

addictive.

Sometechnicalormedicalbooksuseaddictingwhereatypicalwriterwouldlikelyuse

addictive:Parentsaretoldthesedrugsarenotaddicting.Nevertheless,addictiveis

themorecommontermfordescribingsomethingpeoplestruggletoquit.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwithaddictivewhenyouaretryingtosayanounsuchasdrug,videogame,food,

orloverhasanunhealthy,nearlyunbreakableholdonyou.

JOEFOX:Doyouknowwhat?Wearegoingtoseducethem.We’re

goingtoseducethemwithoursquarefootage,andourdiscounts,

andourdeeparmchairs,and…

JOEFOX,KEVIN:Ourcappuccino.

JOEFOX:That’sright.They’regoingtohateusatthebeginning,but…

JOEFOX,KEVIN:Butwe’llget’emintheend.

JOEFOX:Doyouknowwhy?

KEVIN:Why?

JOEFOX:Becausewe’regoingtosellthemcheapbooksandlegal

addictivestimulants.Inthemeantime,we’lljustputupabigsign:

“Comingsoon:aFoxBookssuperstoreandtheendofcivilizationas

youknowit.”

—TomHanksasJoeFoxandDaveChappelleasKevininthemovieYou’ve

GotMail

Reserveaddictingforsomethingorsomeoneactivelycausingaddiction.

Shouldcocainemomsbeprosecutedforaddictingtheirbabies?

—JetMagazine(headline)

AFRICANAMERICAN

What’stheTrouble?PeoplewonderaboutthedifferencebetweenAfrican

Americanandblack.

Acceptablenamesforpeopleofcolorhavechangedovertimeandarelikelytochange

againinthefuture.Today,bothAfricanAmericanandblackareconsideredrespectful

bymostpeopleintheblackcommunity.

AfricanAmericaniscapitalized,butblackisusuallylowercasedunlessit’spartofthe

nameofanorganization(e.g.,CongressionalBlackCaucus).

TheAssociatedPressrecommendsahypheninAfrican-American,butTheChicago

ManualofStylerecommendsleavingitoutinallcompoundnationalities(African

American,ItalianAmerican,ChineseAmerican,andsoon).

Finally,AfricanAmericansoundsalittlemoreformalthanblack,whichcouldplaya

factorinyourwordchoice.

WhatShouldYouDo?

ForAmericansofAfricandescent,useAfricanAmericanorblack.Ifthepersonyouare

describingisfromanothercountry,useanotherappropriateterm,suchasCaribbean

American.

OpeningtomorrowinNewYork,thedocumentaryfilmWhiteWash

exploresthehistoryofblacksurfinginAmerica,paintingacontrast

totheglobalsportthatisdominatedbywhitemales.

—JamesSullivaninUSAToday

AfricanAmericanmenlivinginareaswithlowsunlightareupto3.5

timesmorelikelytohaveVitaminDdeficiencythanCaucasianmen

andshouldtakehighlevelsofVitaminDsupplements.

—NorthwesternUniversitypressrelease

AGGRAVATE

What’stheTrouble?Someexpertsrecommendavoidingaggravatewhenyou

mean“annoy”or“irritate,”butsuchuseiscommonandhasalonghistory.

AggravatecametoEnglishfromaLatinwordthatmeans“tomakeheavier,”andthe

argumentthataggravatemustmean“tomakeworse”insteadofsimply“annoy”or

“irritate”hingesonthatorigin.InLatin,itmeanttomakethingsheavier,notjustheavy

—inotherwords,worse.However,peoplestartedusingaggravatetomean“annoy”or

“irritate”almostrightaway.

Theadjectiveaggravatingevenmoreforcefullytookonthemeaningof“annoying”or

“irritating.”Infact,you’llfindaggravatingusedinthiswaymorethananyother.

Ignorantpeoplethinkit’sthenoisewhichfightingcatsmakethatis

soaggravating,butitain’tso;itisthesickeninggrammarthatthey

—MarkTwaininATrampAbroad

WhatShouldYouDo?

Informalsituationsorifyou’refeelingespeciallysticklerish,avoidusingaggravateto

mean“irritate.”

Iknowyouhaveaninnatetalentforrubbingpeoplethewrongway,

Jack,butwhyfortheloveofGodwouldyouaggravatethevice

president?[Irritatewouldbeabetterchoiceunlessthevicepresidentwas

alreadyupset.]

—SashaRoizasParkerinthemovieTheDayAfterTomorrow

Usingaggravatingtomean“irritating”islessriskythanusingaggravatetomean

“irritate,”butsomepeoplemaystillobject.

QuickandDirtyTip

Whenyouhearcopsonyourfavoritecrimeshowtalkaboutaggravated

assault,remindyourselfthataggravatedassaultisanassaultthat’sworse

thannormal,justlikeanaggravatingcommentmakessomebody’smoodor

situationworsethanitalreadyis.

ALRIGHT

What’stheTrouble?Nearlyallusageguidescondemnalright,butitoccasionally

showsupintheworkofrespectedwriters,andmanypeoplewhoaren’tlanguage

expertsthinkit’sfine,oreventhepreferredspelling.

TheOxfordEnglishDictionarycallsalrighta“frequentspellingofallright”—notquite

sayingoutrightthatitiswrong,butmakingtheimplication.TheColumbiaGuideto

StandardAmericanEnglishisclearer:“AllrightistheonlyspellingStandardEnglish

recognizes.”

Theword’shistoryislittlehelp.AccordingtoMerriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglish

Usage,veryearlyspellingsincludedbothone-wordandtwo-wordformssuchasealriht

andalrizt.

Withthepressuretosavespaceinstatusupdatesandtextmessages,alrightislikelyto

gaincurrencyratherthanfade.The“savesspace”argumentisnotnew;anearly

proponentofalrightoverallrightmentionedthecostsavingsofsendingcable

messagesusingalright.

UntilpopularusageguidessuchasTheChicagoManualofStyleandAPStylebookgive

theirstampofapprovaltoalright,thewordwillbeeditedoutofmostprofessional

work.However,onetellingsignisthatit’seasytofindquotationsonGoodReads.com,

transcribedbypeoplewhoarelikelytobeabove-averagereaders,thatsubstitute

alrightwhenallrightappearsintheoriginalbook.Ipredictalrightwilleventuallywin.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwithallrightunlessyouwishtobepartofthechargetolegitimizealright,which

rightnowisafringeposition.

IsBillalright?…CowleythinksI’maSimpleSimon.I’mafoolalright.

—JackKerouacinapersonallettertoAllenGinsberg,PeterOrlovsky,

WilliamS.Burroughs,andAlanAnsen

ALTERNATE

What’stheTrouble?Traditionalistshavesometimesmadeadistinctionbetween

theadjectivesalternateandalternative.

Althoughsomestyleguidestrytomakeadistinctionbetweenalternateand

alternative,mostconcedethatbothadjectivesareacceptablewhenyoumean

“substitute”:Findanalternateroute.Findanalternativeroute.

Whenpeopleoreventsaretakingturns,however,theonlycorrectchoiceisalternate:

Mr.BrownhashissononalternateSaturdays.Alternateisalsotheonlycorrectchoice

whenyou’reusingthewordasanoun:Hewasanalternateonthejury.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tfretabouttheadjectivesalternateandalternative.Eitherisacceptablewhenyou

mean“substitute”andmostotherusesareobvioustonativeEnglishspeakers.

BURTON“GUS”GUSTER:Howshouldweintroduceourselves?Don’tsay

“psychic.”They’llshutyouoff.Picksomethingvague,likeAlternative

TacticsDivision.

SHAWNSPENCER:HowabouttheBureauofMagicandSpellCasting?

—DuléHillasGusandJamesRodayasShawnintheTVseriesPsych

PENNY:Whatishedoing?

LEONARDHOFSTADTER:It’salittlehardtoexplain.He’spretendingtobe

inanalternateuniversewhereheoccupiesthesamephysicalspace

asus,butcannotperceiveus.

SHELDONCOOPER:Oh,don’tflatteryourself.I’mjustignoringyou.

—KaleyCuocoasPenny,JohnGaleckiasLeonard,andJimParsonsas

SheldonintheTVseriesTheBigBangTheory

ALTERNATIVE

What’stheTrouble?Afewpeoplesaythatalternativecanonlybeusedwhen

therearetwochoices.

TheLatinrootofalternativeisalter,whichmeans“theotheroftwo”orsimply“the

other.”Basedonthisetymology,someusagewritersinthe1800sbegansuggestingthat

alternativeshouldbeusedonlywhendescribingachoicebetweentwooptions—not

threeormore.However,fewmodernsourcessupportthenotion,andMerriam-

Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsagereportsthatsomehavegoneasfarastocallita

fetishorpedantry.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Feelfreetousealternativeforthreeormorechoicesunlessyouhavereasontobelieve

you’rewritingforsomeonewhohangsontotheoutdatedrule.

[L]ibrariesshouldbeopentoall—exceptthecensor.Wemustknow

allthefactsandhearallthealternativesandlistentoallthe

criticisms.Letuswelcomecontroversialbooksandcontroversial

authors.FortheBillofRightsistheguardianofoursecurityaswell

asourliberty.

—JohnF.KennedyintheSaturdayReview

AMERICAN

What’stheTrouble?Americanistheonlysinglewordwehavetoreferto“a

citizenoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica”(USican?),buttechnically,anAmericanis

“anyonewholivesinNorthAmerica,CentralAmerica,orSouthAmerica.”

We,thepeople,havebeencallingourselvesAmericanssincebeforeourcountrywas

evenfounded(ashaveourdetractors).AlthoughallpeopleoftheAmericancontinents

areactuallyAmericans,mostreadersintheUnitedStatesandEuropeassumethatan

AmericanisaU.S.citizensincethatishowthewordismostcommonlyused.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Despiteitsfailings,useAmericantoreferto“acitizenoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica.”

Nobettertermexists.Feelfreetofeelguilty.

TheConstitutiononlyguaranteestheAmericanpeopletherightto

pursuehappiness.Youhavetocatchityourself.

—BenjaminFranklin

What’stheTrouble?Thehandheldtoolforchoppingwoodhastwospellings:ax

andaxe.

ThestandardAmericanspellingisax,andthestandardBritishspellingisaxe.Axe

bodyspray,whichisheavilyadvertisedintheUnitedStates,wascreatedbyaBritish

companyandfirstlaunchedinFrance.

Ifyou’dliketofeelsuperiortotheBritish,theOxfordEnglishDictionarysaysthatthe

axspellingisbetterthanaxeintermsof“etymology,phonology,andanalogy.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

InAmerica,spellthewordax.

Inthiscountrypeopledon’trespectthemorning.Analarmclock

violentlywakesthemup,shatterstheirsleepliketheblowofanax,

andtheyimmediatelysurrenderthemselvestodeadlyhaste.Can

youtellmewhatkindofdaycanfollowabeginningofsuch

violence?

—MilanKunderainFarewellWaltz

What’stheTrouble?Backisoftenredundantwhenusedinphrasessuchasrefer

Sincetheprefixre-means“back”inwordssuchasretreat,revert,reply,andrespond,

toaddbackafterthesewordsisusuallyredundant.(Re-canmean“again”inother

words,suchasrepeat.)

Insomecases,however,backcansubtlychangethemeaningofthesentence.For

example,intheGatsbyquotationbelow,retreatbackgivesasenseoftwomonsters

brieflycomingoutofahidingplaceandthengoingbacktothesameplace.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyoucandropbackfromphrasessuchasreferbackwithoutchangingthemeaningof

yoursentence,doit.

Theywerecarelesspeople,TomandDaisy—theysmashedupthings

andcreaturesandthenretreatedbackintotheirmoneyortheirvast

carelessness,orwhateveritwasthatkeptthemtogether,andlet

otherpeoplecleanupthemesstheyhadmade.

—F.ScottFitzgeraldinTheGreatGatsby

BEGSTHEQUESTION

What’stheTrouble?It’sraretoseebegsthequestionusedtherightway.

Begsthequestioncomesfromformallogic,inwhichthepersonmakinganargument

doessoinawaythatsimplystatesthatthepremiseistrueinsteadofprovingitistrue.

Itcanbeapremisethat’sindependentfromtheconclusionor,inasimplerform,the

conclusioncanbeacircularrestatementofthepremise.

Itdoesnotmean“raisesthequestion”or“begsthatIaskthequestion.”

Forexample,let’ssaySquigglyistryingtoconvinceAardvarkthatchocolateishealth

food.Squigglywouldbebeggingthequestionifhearguedthatchocolateishealthy

becauseit’sgoodforyou.Hehasn’tproventhatchocolateishealthy;he’ssimplyuseda

synonymforhealthyashisargument.He’sbeggedthelistenertoacceptthequestion

(ischocolatehealthy?)astheconclusion(chocolateishealthy).Whendebatersbegthe

question,theybasetheirargumentsonafaultypremise.

Here’sanexampleofthecommon,wrong,waytousebegsthequestion:

Beingpresidentofthiscountryisentirelyaboutcharacter.Forthe

record:yes,Iamacard-carryingmemberoftheACLU.Butthe

moreimportantquestioniswhyaren’tyou,Bob?Now,thisisan

organizationwhosesolepurposeistodefendtheBillofRights,soit

naturallybegsthequestion:Whywouldasenator,hisparty’smost

powerfulspokesmanandacandidateforpresident,choosetoreject

upholdingtheConstitution?

—MichaelDouglasasPresidentAndrewShepherdinthemovieThe

AmericanPresident

WhatShouldYouDo?

Reestablishingthetraditionalmeaningofbegsthequestionisalostcause,buteven

thoughalmostnobodywillrealizeyou’vemadeanerror,there’salsonoreasonto

misappropriatethephrase.Ifyoumean“raisesthequestion”or“begsthatIaskthe

question,”sayraisesthequestionorbegsthatIaskthequestion.

BEMUSED

What’stheTrouble?Bemusedcanbeconfusedwithamused.

Bemusedmeans“confused,bewildered,orbaffled,”andhasnothingtodowith

amusementorhumor.Theeighteenth-centurypoetAlexanderPopefirstusedtheword

todescribesomeonewhowasmuddledbyliquororhadfoundamuseinbeer.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Thinkofbemusedassimilartobefuddledanduseitonlytodescribesomeonewhois

confused.Avoidusingbemusedinsituationswherethecontextisambiguousenoughto

leavethereaderwonderingwhetheryoumean“amused”or“confused.”

Dracowasontheupperlanding,pleadingwithanothermasked

DeathEater.

HarrystunnedtheDeathEaterastheypassed:Malfoylooked

around,beaming,forhissavior,andRonpunchedhimfromunder

thecloak.MalfoyfellbackwardontopoftheDeathEater,his

mouthbleeding,utterlybemused.

“Andthat’sthesecondtimewe’vesavedyourlifetonight,youtwo-

facedbastard!”Ronyelled.

—J.K.RowlinginthenovelHarryPotterandtheDeathlyHallows

BETWEEN

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplebelievebetweenshouldonlyrefertotwo

things.

Popularusageguidesandschoolbookshavestatedthatbetweencanonlybeusedwhen

yourefertotwothings,andthatamongshouldbeyourchoicewhentherearemore.

See,theonlydifferencebetweenawinnerandaloserischaracter.

Everymanhasapricetocharge,andapricetopay.

—TaylorKitschasRemyLeBeauinthemovieX-MenOrigins:Wolverine

Althoughbetweendoesworkforsentencesinvolvingtwochoices,the“rule”isan

oversimplificationanddoesnotaccuratelyrepresentbroadercommonandhistorical

usesofbetween.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Betweenhasalwaysbeenusedtoindicateachoiceorrelationshipbetweenmany

differentindividualitemsorpeople.NativeEnglishspeakersnaturallymakethischoice

(notehowwrongamongwouldsoundintheexamplesbelow),andmodernusage

guidessupportthisuseofbetween.

BetweenMonica,Phoebe,ChandlerandRoss—ifyouhadto—who

wouldyoupunch?

—MattLeBlancasJoeyTribbianiintheTVseriesFriends

Ihadahardtimechoosingtherightadjectives.Icouldn’tdecide

betweenchildish,juvenile,andjustplainoldannoying.

—ValarieRayMillerasAgentBrynFillmoreintheTVseriesNCIS

BILLION

What’stheTrouble?Attimes,billionhasmeantadifferentamountinAmerican

EnglishthanithasinotherEnglish-speakingcountries.

Believeitornot,theworldhastwonamingsystemsforlargepower-of-tennumbers

suchasabillionandatrillion:theshortscaleandthelongscale.Inthelongscale,a

billionis1,000,000,000,000(1012)andintheshortscale,abillionis1,000,000,000

(109).Britaintraditionallyusedthelongscale,butAmericansadoptedtheshortscale.

Whatamess!

Fortunately,Britainandmanyothercountriesswitchedtothe“shortscale”inthemid-

1970s,andbillionusuallynowmeansthesameamountinallEnglish-speaking

countries(France,Germany,Italy,Spain,Denmark,Finland,andotherEuropean

countriescurrentlyusethelongscale.)

WhatShouldYouDo?

Today,youcansafelyusebilliontomean1,000,000,000.Whenyouarereadingoldor

translateddocuments,however,beawareoftheircountryoforiginandrememberthat

themeaningofbillioncouldbe1,000,000,000,000.Billions,plural,isalsooftenused

metaphoricallytodescribeanunfathomableamount.

Iknowthiswillcomeasashocktoyou,Mr.Goldwyn,butinall

history,whichhasheldbillionsandbillionsofhumanbeings,nota

singleoneeverhadahappyending.

—AconversationbetweenDorothyParkerandSamGoldwynrelatedin

DorothyParker:WhatFreshHellIsThis?byMarionMeade

BIWEEKLY

What’stheTrouble?Biweeklymeanstwocontradictorythings.

Theprefixbi-canmean“two”or“twice.”Thinkofabicyclewithtwowheelsorbifocals

withtwolenses.Unfortunately,whenthebi-prefixisaddedtoweekly,itcanmean

everytwoweeksortwiceaweek.

It’snotjustaproblemofpeoplebeingconfusedormisunderstandingthemeaning.

Dictionarydefinitionsforbiweeklyactuallyincludebothmeanings:“everytwoweeks”

and“twiceaweek.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Althoughit’salwayssadtoabandonwords,thesafestchoiceistoavoidbiweeklyand

bimonthlyandinsteadjustusetwiceaweekoreveryotherweek.

Iwasnothingifnotdetermined;atleasttwiceaweekIwouldwear

bright,prettyclothes.IwasafraidifIdidn’t,I’dforgetwhoIwas.

I’dturnintowhatIfeltlike:agrungy,weapon-bearing,pissy,

resentfulvengeance-hungrybitch.

—KarenMarieMoninginFaefever

Yeah,likehighschool.It’seasytodatethere.Imean,weallhadso

muchincommon.Beingmonsterfoodeveryotherweek,forinstance.

—CharismaCarpenterasCordeliaintheTVseriesAngel

BRINGANDTAKE

What’stheTrouble?Thestandardruledoesn’talwaysleadyoutoananswer.

Inmanycasesthechoicebetweenbringandtakeiseasy:Peoplebringthingstoyour

currentlocation,andtakethingsawayfromyourcurrentlocation.Bringmecotton

candy.Takeawaythisbroccoli.It’sallfocusedonaplace.

Therulesfallapart,however,whenyouconsiderthefutureoralocationwherenobody

hasarrivedyet.Doyoubringrumcaketotheschoolbazaarordoyoutakerumcaketo

theschoolbazaar?Itsimplydependsonwhereyouwanttoplacetheemphasisofthe

sentence—whichperspectiveyouwanttoadopt.

Ifyouwanttofocusontheschoolandwritefromtheperspectiveofthebazaar,you

bringthecaketothebazaar.Ifyouwanttofocusonyourkitchenandwritefromthe

perspectiveofhome,thenyoutakethecaketothebazaar(whichputsthefocuson

takingitawayfromyourhome).

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whenyoustartwritingaboutthefutureandhavetochoosebetweenbringandtake,

imaginewhereyouareinthescenario,andmakeyourwordchoicebasedonthat

location.

DEXTERMORGAN:Heyguys,Ineedyouraddressesfortheweddingand

Ineedtoknowifyou’rebringingdates.

ANGELBATISTA:Canwebringjustfriends?

VINCEMASUKA:Ineverbringdatestoawedding.Bestmanalways

hooksupwiththemaidofhonor.

DEXTERMORGAN:ThemaidofhonorisRita’sdaughter.She’sten.

[Notehowtheycouldhaveusedtake,butalsohowitwouldhavesubtly

changedthefocusofthesentence.Bringcausesyoutoimaginethematthe

wedding,whereastakewouldcauseyoutoimaginethemathomegettingready

orpickinguptheirdates.]

—MichaelC.HallasDexter,DavidZayasasAngel,andC.S.LeeasVince

intheTVseriesDexter

CACTUS

What’stheTrouble?Cactushastwoacceptablepluralforms:cactusesandcacti.

CactuscomesfromtheGreekwordkaktos,whichmadeitswayintoLatin(wherethe

pluralbecamecacti)andthenthroughLatinintoEnglish.

ForeignwordsthatbecomeestablishedinEnglishoftenlosetheirforeignpluralformin

favorofaStandardEnglishpluralthatendsins.Yet,theforeignformcancontinueto

coexistwiththenewEnglishpluralorcansurviveinisolatedcontextsasisthecase

withcactus.Althoughcactusesiscommoningeneralwriting,cactiisstilldominantin

botanicalwriting.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyouwriteforgardeningmagazines,nurseries,orbotanicalaudiencesusecacti.

Otherwise,usecactuses.

ThosewhohavenevervisitedtheAmericanSouthwesttendtohave

somemisconceptions.Themostcommononeisthatthewhole

placeisahotdesertstuddedwithsaguarocactuses.

—LesleyS.King,DonLaine,KarlSamsoninFrommer’sAmerican

Southwest

Thepropagationofcactifromseedsisoneofthosethingswhich

requireanimmenseamountofpatience.Mostoftheseplantsare

naturallyslowgrowersandthetimeneedfultoproducea

flowering-sizeplantfromseedwouldinmanyspeciesbeasmuchas

thespanofaman’slife.

—S.LeonardBastininScientificAmerican

CELTIC

What’stheTrouble?Peoplewhospeaklanguagesinthefamilythatincludes

Breton,Welsh,Irish,ScotchGaelic,andCornishcanbecalledCelticorKeltic.

AlthoughCelticisthemorecommonspellinginAmerica,you’llalsoseeKeltic,and

dictionariessaybothareacceptable.

TheargumentforKelticisthatitoriginallycomesfromtheGreekwordkeltoi,but

althoughthepeopletheGreekscalledtheKeltoimayhavespokenanearlyformof

Celtic,theydidn’tinhabittheBritishIsles—thelandswethinkofasCeltic.Instead,they

livedinalargeregionofWesternEuropecalledGaul.

Ontheotherhand,theargumentforCelticisthatthewordcameintoEnglishnot

directlyfromGreek,butthroughFrench,andtheFrenchwordisceltique.

It’sevenconfusinginScotland.GlasgowhasasoccerteamcalledtheCelticFootball

Club,eventhoughmostpeoplelivinginScotlandwouldrefertothemselvesasKeltic.

WhatShouldYouDo?

TheKelticspellingandhard-kpronunciationaregreatlypreferredbypeoplewhostudy

thecultureandlanguage,tothepointthatifyoucallitanythingotherthanKeltic,

they’relikelytolookdownonyou.Butingeneralwriting,Celticprevails,andifyouare

attendingabasketballgameinBostonorafootballgameinGlasgow,you’rerootingfor

theCeltics.

Aftertheconquest,withthespreadofRomancivilisation,LateKeltic

artrapidlydisappearedinthesouthofBritain,hithertoitschief

centre;nevertheless,itpersistedinScotlandandIrelandtillthe

comingofChristianity,whereandwhenitwasusedbytheearly

Christianstodecoratetheirmonumentsandmetalwork,andto

embellishtheirilluminatedmanuscripts.

—NormanAultinLifeinAncientBritain

WeIrishpreferembroideriestoplaincloth.TousIrish,memoryis

acanvas—stretched,primed,andreadyforpaintingon.Welovethe

“story”partoftheword“history,”andweloveittrimmedoutwith

coloranddrama,ribbonsandbows.Listentoourtunes,observea

Celticscroll:wealwaysdecorateouressence.

—FrankDelaneyinTipperary:ANovel

COMPANIES

What’stheTrouble?Peoplewonderwhethertorefertoacompanyaswhoorthat.

Companiesareentities,buttheyarerunbypeople.Anargumentcouldbemadefor

usingeitherwhoorthatasthepronounwhenyou’rewritingaboutacompanythat

takesanaction,particularlysinceU.S.courtshaveruledthatcompaniesarepeoplein

mostlegalsenses.However,thepreferredstyleistorefertoacompanyasanentityand

usethepronounsitandthat:Wewanttobuystockinacompanythatmakeshotair

balloons.

Ifyouwanttohighlightthatpeopleinthecompanyarebehindsomeactionordecision,

namethemandusewho:FloatingBasketswasdriventobankruptcybyitssenior

directorswhotooktoomanyexpensiveAlaskanjoyrides.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwiththepronounsitandthatwhenreferringtocompanies.

ThemovebroughtanendtoMr.Icahn’stwo-monthfighttosqueeze

morevalueoutofacentury-oldcompanythatisfacingtough

competitionfromgenericsbutwhichinvestorsgenerallyseeaswell

—PaulZiobroinTheWallStreetJournal

COULDN’TCARELESS

What’stheTrouble?Peoplesaytheycouldcarelesswhen,logically,theymean

theycouldn’tcareless.

ThephraseIcouldn’tcarelessoriginatedinBritainandmadeitswaytotheUnited

Statesinthe1950s.ThelesslogicalphraseIcouldcarelessappearedintheUnited

Statesaboutadecadelater.

Intheearly1990s,thewell-knownHarvardlinguistStephenPinkerarguedthatthe

waymostpeoplesaycouldcareless—thewaytheyemphasizethewords—impliesthey

arebeingironicorsarcastic.Otherlinguistshavearguedthatthetypeofsoundatthe

endofcouldn’tisnaturallydroppedbysloppyorslurringspeakers.

Regardlessofthereasonpeoplesaytheycouldcareless,itisoneofthemorecommon

languagepeevesbecauseofitsillogicalnature.Tosayyoucouldcarelessmeansyou

haveabitofcaringleft,whichisnotwhatthespeakersseemtointend.Theproper

couldn’tcarelessisstillthedominantforminprint,butcouldcarelesshasbeen

steadilygaininggroundsinceitsappearanceinthe1960s.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwithcouldn’tcareless.

JULIETO’HARA:Guesswhattodayis.

CARLTONLASSITER:It’snotoneofthosetouchy-feelyholidaysinvented

bycardcompaniestogoadmeintobuyingapresentforsomeoneI

couldn’tcarelessabout,isit?

—MaggieLawsonasO’HaraandTimothyOmundsonasLassiterintheTV

seriesPsych

What’stheTrouble?Dataisusedasbothasingularandpluralnoun.

AlthoughdataisapluralwordinLatin,it’smuchmorelikelytobeusedasasingular

nouninEnglish.TheOxfordEnglishDictionaryincludesbothpluralandsingular

definitions,althoughtheeditorsnotethatinLatin,datumissingularanddatais

plural.

Althoughyouarelesslikelytobecriticizedbysticklersfortreatingdataasplural,

phrasessuchasthedataarecompellingarelesscommonthanthedataiscompelling

innewsarticles,andtreatingdataaspluralcansoundoddtoreaders.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Garner’sModernAmericanUsagecallsdataaskunkedterm,meaningyoucan’twin—

whetheryoutreatitassingularorplural,you’llgetintrouble.Trytowritearoundthe

problem,forexample,byusingdatapointorinformation.

Ingeneralwriting,ifinformationwon’tworkbecauseyou’reusingdataasamassnoun

tomean“informationcollectedinascientificway,”datacanbesingular;however,in

scientificwriting,alwaystreatdataasplural.

Rememberthecellphonethatwasneverused?Well,itwasused.

Onlyallthedatawashard-erased.[Informationwouldbeasaferchoice.]

—PauleyPerretteasAbbySciutointheTVseriesNCIS

Fewweatherstationsdotremoteandhigh-altitudelocalesand

wheretheydoexisttheirdataareoftenincomplete.

—BrianHandwerkinNationalGeographic

DECIMATE

What’stheTrouble?Somepeopleclingtothebeliefthatbecauseoftheprefixdeci-

,theworddecimatecanonlymean“reductionby10percent.”

TheRomanmilitarywasn’tasinterestedinjusticeasitwasinorder.Wegettheword

decimatefromitspracticeofpunishingmutinousunitsbyhavingthemendrawlots.

Thosedrawingtheunlucky10percentwerekilledbytheremaining90percentoftheir

comrades.DecimatehasitsetymologicalrootintheLatinwordfortenth,andshares

thatrootwithwordslikedecimalanddecimeter.

Becauseofthesehistoricalandetymologicalroots,somepeoplebelievethattheonly

properwaytousedecimateistotalkaboutsomethingreducedbyprecisely10percent.

Usageexpertsdisagree.Merriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsage(MWDEU),

forexample,notesthatdecimatehasneverbeenusedthiswayinEnglish.Although

thereisanentryforthe“reductionby10percent”meaningintheOxfordEnglish

Dictionary(OED),itcontainsnoexamplesentences,whichisunusual.TheMWDEU

editorsbelievethattheOEDdefinitionwasincludedmerelytobridgethegapbetween

theRomanpracticeandtheStandardEnglishmeaning,whichis“amassiveorsevere

reduction.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usedecimatewithoutfeartodescribeahugecullingorloss.Becauseofitsroots,

decimateisparticularlywellusedwhendescribingsignificantcasualtiesinapopulation

ofmilitarytroopsbutitcanbeusedtodescribeanyextremeloss.Bewareofusingitto

describeacompleteloss,however.Thatuseisincorrect.

Who,inthemidstofpassion,isvigilantagainstillness?Wholistens

tothereportsofrecentlydecimatedpopulationsinSpain,India,

BoraBora,whennewlips,tonguesandpoemsfilltheworld?

—LaurenGroffinDelicateEdibleBirds:AndOtherStories

DIALOGUE

What’stheTrouble?Dialoguehastwoacceptablespellings,andmanypeople

objecttotheword’sneweruseasaverb.

Althoughdialogisanacceptablespelling,dialogueismorecommon.

Therealcontroversyiswhetherit’sOKtousedialogueasaverbthatmeans“totalk”or

“toexchangeideas.”Theusehasbeenaroundforcenturies,butitseemstohave

becometrendyinbusinesscirclesinthelastfewdecades.Althoughusingdialoguethis

wayisn’twrong,manysourcescriticizeitasjargonorfaddish.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Avoiddialogueasaverbunlessit’scommoninyourcircles.It’snotwrong,butcanbe

viewedasannoyingorpretentious.

Reallifeissometimesboring,rarelyconclusiveandboy,doesthe

dialogueneedwork.

—SarahReesBrennan,Irishwriter

Incomingmonths,Texasairportswillcontinuedialoguingwitheach

othertolearnwaystobestservethepublicandthecommunities

thatdependoncommercialairservice.[Communicatingwouldbea

betterchoice.]

—HoustonAirportSystempressrelease

DILEMMA

What’stheTrouble?Somestyleguidessaydilemmashouldbeusedonlyto

describeachoicebetweentwounpleasantoptions,butabroadermeaningis

pervasive.

Thedi-prefixindilemmameans“two”or“double,”whichlendssupporttotheidea

thatdilemmashouldbeusedonlytodescribeachoicebetweentwoalternatives.The

AssociatedPressandGarner’sModernAmericanUsagesupportthatlimitation,and

gofurther,sayingthatdilemmashouldbeusedonlyforachoicebetweentwo

unpleasantoptions.

Nevertheless,Garner’salsoconcedesthatotherusesare“ubiquitous.”Merriam-

Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsageandtheColumbiaGuidetoStandardAmerican

Englishsayit’sfinetousedilemmatodescribeanyseriouspredicament,andThe

AmericanHeritageGuidetoContemporaryUsageandStyletakesanintermediate

position.What’sawritertodo?(Isitadilemma?)

WhatShouldYouDo?

Unlessyou’refollowingastyleguidethatrequiresyoutolimitdilemmatoachoice

betweentwobadoptions,it’sacceptabletousedilemmatodescribeadifficultproblem,

evenwhenalternativesaren’tinvolved,ortousedilemmatodescribeadifficultchoice

betweenpleasantoptions.Still,you’llseemmostcleverwhenyouusedilemmato

describeachoicebetweentwobadoptions.Inotherinstances,beforeusingdilemma,

askyourselfifanotherword,suchasproblem,wouldworkbetter.

QuickandDirtyTip

Torememberthatdilemmaisbestusedforachoicebetweentwothings,think

oftheidiomonthehornsofadilemmaandpicturethemascotofthe

UniversityofTexas—alonghornsteerwithtwohugehorns.

Youseethedilemma,don’tyou?Ifyoudon’tkillme,precogswere

wrongandprecrimeisover.Ifyoudokillme,yougoaway,butit

provesthesystemworks.Theprecogswereright.So,whatareyou

goingtodonow?[Particularlyniceuseofdilemma.]

—TomCruiseasJohnAndertoninthemovieMinorityReport

Therearetwodilemmasthatrattlethehumanskull.Howdoyou

holdontosomeonewhowon’tstay?Andhowdoyougetridof

someonewhowon’tgo?[Problems,questions,orquandarieswouldhave

beenabetterchoice.]

—DannyDeVitoasGavininthemovieTheWaroftheRoses

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplesayyoucan’tusedonetomean“finished”

unlessyou’retalkingaboutfood.

Althoughdonehasbeenusedtomean“finished”forcenturies,admonitionsagainstit

startedsurfacingintheearly1900s.Noreasoningwasgiveninthefirstpublishedstyle

guidethatmadethedeclaration.Merriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsage

speculatestheadvicewasbasedonbiasagainsttheusage’s“Irish,ScotsandU.S.”

origin.

The“rule”againstdonehasbeenwidelytaughtinschools,butnohistoricalpattern,

logic,ormodernusageguidesupportsit.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tbeafraidtousedone,althoughfinishedandthrougharefinetoo.

I’mcookiedough.I’mnotdonebaking.I’mnotfinishedbecoming

whoeverthehellitisI’mgonnaturnouttobe.Imakeitthrough

this,andthenextthing,andthenextthing,andmaybeoneday,I

turnaroundandrealizeI’mready.I’mcookies.

—SarahMichelleGellarasBuffyintheTVseriesBuffytheVampireSlayer

What’stheTrouble?Donutisasimplifiedvariantofdoughnut.

Adoughnutisliterallyanut(ball)ofdough.AccordingtotheOxfordEnglish

Dictionary,thenamewasfirstreportedbyAmericanauthorWashingtonIrving(using

thepennameDiedrichKnickerbocker)in1809.Thesweettreathewasdescribing

resembledwhattodaywe’dcalldoughnutholesratherthanthepuffyringswenowcall

doughnuts.

Thedonutspellingappearedaboutonehundredyearslaterbutdidnotimmediately

thrive.However,itsusehasgrownsteadilyandsignificantlysinceDunkin’Donutswas

foundedin1950.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwithdoughnut(unless,perhaps,you’rewritingadcopyfordeep-friedsugary

dough).

Aparadox,thedoughnuthole.Emptyspace,once,butnowthey’ve

learnedtomarketeventhat.Aminusquantity;nothing,rendered

edible.Iwonderediftheymightbeused—metaphorically,ofcourse

—todemonstratetheexistenceofGod.Doesnamingasphereof

nothingnesstransmuteitintobeing?

—MargaretAtwoodinTheBlindAssassin

DO’SANDDON’TS

What’stheTrouble?Thespellingofdo’sanddon’tsisinconsistent.

Generally,youdon’tuseapostrophestomakewordsorabbreviationsplural(e.g.,CDs,

1970s,hats),butwehaveafewexceptions.Forexample,youcanuseapostropheswhen

theyhelpeliminateconfusion,whichhappensmostoftenwithsingleletters.Mindyour

p’sandq’sisthetypicalspelling,andwewritethatthewordaardvarkhas3a’s,not3

Do’sanddon’tsisanespeciallyunusualexception.Theapostropheinthecontraction

don’tseemstomakepeoplewanttouseanapostrophetomakedoplural(do’sand

don’ts)butthentobeconsistent,you’dalsohavetouseanapostrophetomakedon’t

plural,whichbecomesdownrightugly(do’sanddon’t’s).

Styleguidesandusagebooksdon’tagree.TheChicagoManualofStyleandothers

recommenddosanddon’ts,theAssociatedPressandothersrecommenddo’sand

don’ts,andEats,Shoots&Leavesrecommendsdo’sanddon’t’s.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Unlessyoureditorwishesotherwise,ifyouwritebooks,spellitdosanddon’ts;andif

youwritefornewspapers,magazines,ortheWeb,spellitdo’sanddon’ts.Ifyou’re

writingforyourself,spellitanywayyouwant.

Whobetterthana16-year-oldgirltohelpnavigatetheexhausting

socialnetworkingworldofloveandthedo’sanddon’tsof

relationshipstatuses?

—AlisonBonagurowritingforCMT.com

What’stheTrouble?Draggedistheproperpasttenseoftheverbdrag,butdrug

isacommonvariant,especiallyintheSouth.

Dragisaregularverb,whichmeansthepasttenseisdragged.Englishtendstolike

regularverbs,andirregularverbstendtobecomeregularizedovertime(forexample,

thepasttenseofchideusedtobechode,butnowit’schided).Yetanoddthinghas

happenedwithdraginAmericaandespeciallyintheSouth:peoplestartedusingdrug

(theirregularform)insteadofdragged(theregularform)forthepasttense.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Althoughdrugisclearlypartofsomedialects,it’snotconsideredStandardEnglish.

Avoidit,especiallyinwriting.

Andashedroveon,theraincloudsdraggeddowntheskyafterhim

for,thoughhedidnotknowit,RobMcKennawasaRainGod.Allhe

knewwasthathisworkingdaysweremiserableandhehada

successionoflousyholidays.Allthecloudsknewwasthatthey

lovedhimandwantedtobenearhim,tocherishhimandwater

—DouglasAdamsinTheUltimateHitchhiker’sGuidetotheGalaxy

What’stheTrouble?Earthisn’ttreatedlikethenamesofotherplanets.

InEnglish,thegeneralruleisthatwecapitalizetheformalnamesofthingsandplaces

(e.g.,GoldenGateBridge,SanFrancisco),sowecapitalizethenamesofotherplanets:

Jupiter,Mars,andsoon.Forsomeunknownreason,however,wetreatearth

differently.Sometimesit’scapitalizedandsometimesit’slowercased,andtheredoesn’t

seemtobeahard-and-fastrule.

Typically,whenearthisproceededbythe,it’slowercased;andtypically,whenearthis

listedwiththenamesoftheotherplanets,it’scapitalized—butyoucanfindexceptions

toeventhesepatterns.

Ofcourse,whenwe’rejustusingearthasanotherwordfordirt,it’salwayslowercase.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyou’reaprofessionalwriter,checkyourpublication’sstyleguidetoseewhatit

recommends.Ifyou’rewritingforyourself,checkastyleguideordecideonyourown

whenyouwillcapitalizeearthandbeconsistent.

Forinstance,ontheplanetEarth,manhadalwaysassumedthathe

wasmoreintelligentthandolphinsbecausehehadachievedso

much—thewheel,NewYork,warsandsoon—whilstallthe

dolphinshadeverdonewasmuckaboutinthewaterhavingagood

time.Butconversely,thedolphinshadalwaysbelievedthatthey

werefarmoreintelligentthanman—forpreciselythesamereasons.

—DouglasAdamsinTheHitchhiker’sGuidetotheGalaxy

Itcanhardlybeacoincidencethatnolanguageonearthhasever

producedtheexpression,“Asprettyasanairport.”

—DouglasAdamsinTheLongDarkTea-TimeoftheSoul

ELDEST

What’stheTrouble?Englishhastwosetsofwordsyoucanusetotalkabout

relativeage.

Theadjectiveselderandolderandeldestandoldestmeanlargelythesamethings.You

canusuallyusetheminterchangeablywhenyou’retalkingaboutpeople;however,you

can’tuseelderandeldesttodescribethings.Elderandeldestalsotendtosoundmore

formal.Elderisalsomorecommoninsetphrasesthatimplysenioritysuchaselder

statesman.

Dotakecaretousethemintherightcontextthough.Elderandolderarecomparatives,

soyouusethemwhenyouarecomparingtwopeople.Ifyouhavetwodaughters,you

wouldtalkaboutyourelderorolderdaughter.Eldestandoldestaresuperlatives,so

youusethemwhenyou’recomparingmorethantwopeople.Ifyouhavethree

daughters,youwouldtalkaboutyoureldestoroldestdaughter.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Useelderandolderandeldestandoldestinterchangeablywhenyou’retalkingabout

people.Onlyuseolderandoldestwhenyou’retalkingaboutthings.

Theoldestandstrongestemotionofmankindisfear,andtheoldest

andstrongestkindoffearisfearoftheunknown.

[Notehowonlyoldestworkshere.]

—H.P.Lovecraftin“SupernaturalHorrorinLiterature”

Ruin,eldestdaughterofZeus,sheblindsusall,thatfatalmadness—

shewiththosedelicatefeetofhers,nevertouchingtheearth,

glidingovertheheadsofmentotrapusall.Sheentanglesoneman,

nowanother.

[Notehowoldestoreldestwouldwork.]

—HomerinTheIliad

ELSE’S

What’stheTrouble?Spellcheckersconfusepeoplebyerroneouslymarkingelse’s

incorrect.

Intheearly1800s,theapostrophewentonthefirstpartofsomebodyelse,asin

somebody’selseproblem.Usageshifted,however,andtodaytheapostrophegoeson

thesecondpart.Theonlycorrectformtodayissomebodyelse’s,anybodyelse’s,

everyoneelse’s,andsoon.

Unfortunately,electronicspellcheckerscan’tseemtogetthisoneright.Theyregularly

markelse’sasincorrect,causingsomepeopletodoubtwhetherthewordsthey’veheard

theirwholelifearecorrect.Neverrelyentirelyonspellcheckers;theyoccasionally

makebigerrorssuchasmarkingelse’sincorrect,andtheycan’ttellwhenyou’veuseda

homonyminsteadofmisspelledaword(e.g.,itsforit’s).Thinkofyourspellcheckeras

somethingthatmerelyhighlightswordsyoushoulddouble-check.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ignoreyourspellcheckerwhenitmarkselse’sincorrect.

I’vebeenmakingalistofthethingstheydon’tteachyouatschool.

Theydon’tteachyouhowtolovesomebody.Theydon’tteachyou

howtobefamous.Theydon’tteachyouhowtoberichorhowtobe

poor.Theydon’tteachyouhowtowalkawayfromsomeoneyou

don’tloveanylonger.Theydon’tteachyouhowtoknowwhat’s

goingoninsomeoneelse’smind.Theydon’tteachyouwhattosayto

someonewho’sdying.Theydon’tteachyouanythingworth

knowing.

—NeilGaimaninTheSandman,Vol.9:TheKindlyOnes

E-MAILVERSUSEMAIL

What’stheTrouble?Somestyleguidesrecommende-mail(withahyphen)and

otherstyleguidesrecommendemail(withoutahyphen).

E-mailstandsfor“electronicmail,”anditwasoriginallyhyphenatedbecauseitwas

usuallyacompoundmodifierinelectronic-mailmessage.Today,althoughsomepeople

objecttoemailalone,suchuseiswidespreadandstandard:Igottwentye-mailsinthe

lasthour.

Emailhasbeenwidelywrittenwithoutthehyphenforyears,andin2010,the

AssociatedPresschangedtheirrecommendedspellingfrome-mailtoemail,saying

theywerebowingtocommonusage.

Atthetimethisbookwaspublished,somenewspaperswereholdingoffonadoptingAP

styleandwerestillusinge-mail.TheChicagoManualofStylestillrecommendse-mail,

eventhoughthewriterofChicago’sQ&Asectionhadindicatedafondnessforemail.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whetheryoulikeitornot,fightingfore-mailisalostcause.Ipreferit.Istilluseit.But

itwillbearelicintentotwentyyears—likepercent.Ifyou’rewritingforapublication

thatusesaspecificstyleguide,followtheirstyle.Ifyou’rewritingforyourself,it’s

generallysafetousewhicheverspellingyouprefer.

Inanemail,[Mark]Malkoffsaidofhisvisit[totheNetherlands]:

“Didyouknowtheyhaveurinalsonthestreet?Ihadnoclue.Some

ofthefunstuffIdidincluded:askingDutchcitizenstodonate

moneytohelppayofftheU.S.debt,gorunninginwoodenclogs

(turnsoutithurts!),hangadrawingIdidinthebathroomatthe

VanGoghMuseum,coveringmyselfinbirdseedinDamSquare

whiledozensofpigeonsateoffofme,anddescendingtheEuromast

328feetonarope.

—JackBellinTheNewYorkTimes

IntherecentBeangatecaseatChipotle,MaximeditorSethPorges

startedane-mailandTwittercampaignwhenhe,anon-porkeater

“forreligiousandculturalreasons,”discoveredthatforthepast10

yearshehadbeengettingbaconalongwiththepintobeansinhis

burrito.

—JoeYonaninTheWashingtonPost

ENORMITY

What’stheTrouble?Enormityisoftenusedtomean“enormousness,”butsome

peoplethinkthat’sanerror.

Enormityisregularlyusedtodescribesomethingofstaggeringhugeness,but

enormousnessmeansthesamething,andsomepeople(includingsomerespected

usageguidewriters)thinkenormityshouldbereservedtomeansomethingakinto

“atrociousness”or“wickedness.”

Garner’sModernAmericanUsageseemsto(grudgingly)giveupthefightonenormity,

andMerriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsage(MWDEU)makesacompelling

argumentforallowingenormitytodescribeavastimmensity.Besideshighlightinga

largenumberofexamplesfromthe1800stotodayofwritersactuallyusingenormityin

the“prohibited”way,theMWDEUeditorsexplainthatthereisnohistoricalbasisfor

thedistinction.Nevertheless,TheChicagoManualofStyleandStrunk&Whitewant

youtostickwithenormousness.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Avoidambiguitybyavoidingenormityincontextswherethemeaningcouldbeeither

“huge”or“horrible.”

Unlessyou’rerequiredtofollowastyleguidethatfavorsenormousness,useenormity

tomean“hugeness”withonlyatwingeoffear.Althoughenormitywillsoundmore

naturalthanenormousnesstomostreaders,acadreofpeoplestillexistwhowillthink

you’vebrokenarule.Onlyyoucandecidewhentheriskisworthtaking.

Thedateitself[September11]isaloadedtermthatevokesthe

enormousness,andtheenormity,ofthedeedthatredefinedour

times.

—ACanadianChronicleHeraldeditorial

ENTITLED

What’stheTrouble?Bothentitledandtitledcanmean“havingthetitleof…”

Webster’sCollegiateDictionaryandTheAmericanHeritageDictionaryoftheEnglish

Languagelistentitleandtitleassynonymswhentheyareusedasverbs:theyboth

indicatethatsomethingisbeinggivenatitle.

Entitledcanalsobeusedtoindicatethatpeoplehaveacertainright(suchastheright

toanopinion)orfeelasenseofentitlement(thattheyareduesomething).

WhatShouldYouDo?

Althoughentitledisn’tincorrect,stickwithtitledwhenyou’rereferringtoatitle.

EMDSerono,abiopharmaceuticalcompany,hasproduceda

campaignonFacebooktitled“BirdsandtheBees:TheRealStory.”

Partofthecampaignfeaturesamusicvideo,“EarlyBirdCatches

theSperm,”reminiscentofadigitalshorton“SaturdayNightLive.”

—JessicaRyenDoyleonFoxNews

DR.NILESCRANE:[Maris]droveuponthesidewalk,andwhenthe

policeranhernamethroughthecomputer,theyfoundquitealittle

backlogofunpaidparkingtickets.

DR.FRASIERCRANE:Whatelsewouldyouexpectfromawomanwho

thinksherchocolateallergyentitleshertoparkinahandicapped

space?

—DavidHydePierceasNilesandKelseyGrammerasFrasierintheTV

seriesFrasier

What’stheTrouble?Fishhastwoacceptablepluralforms:fishandfishes.

Fishisthemostcommonpluralformoffish,buttherearesomeinstancesinwhich

peopleusefishes.Scientistswhostudyfish(ichthyologists)forexample,oftenreferto

differentspeciesasfishes.InthebiblicalbookofMark,Jesusfeedsthousandsofmen

thefiveloavesandtwofishes.Finally,themovieTheGodfatherpopularizedthephrase

sleepswiththefishestodescribemobkillingsinwhichacorpseisdumpedinthewater.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usefishasthepluraloffishunlessyou’rewritingaboutbiologyormakingreferencesto

TheGodfatherortheBible.

[TessiobringsinLucaBrasi’sbulletproofvest,deliveredwithafish

inside]

SONNY:Whatthehellisthis?

CLEMENZA:It’saSicilianmessage.ItmeansLucaBrasisleepswiththe

fishes.

—RichardCastellanoasClemenzaandJamesCaanasSonnyinthemovie

TheGodfather

Thepikeisoneofthefewfisheswithbinocularsight;botheyeslook

forwardandthevisualfieldsoverlap.

—LenCacuttinFishes

Whenyougofishingyoucancatchalotoffish,oryoucancatchabig

fish.Youeverwalkintoaguy’sdenandseeapictureofhimstanding

nexttofourteentrout?

—JustinTimberlakeasSeanParkerinthemovieTheSocialNetwork

FLAUNT

What’stheTrouble?Peoplesometimesconfuseflauntandflout.

Flauntandfloutsoundsimilarbutdon’tmeanthesamething.Whenyouflaunt

yourself,yourwealth,oraccomplishments,you’reparadingtheminfrontofpeople—

showingoff.Floutmeans“todisregard,scoffat,mock,orshowscorn.”Arebelflouts

rulesandlaws.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Rememberthatflauntmeans“toshowoff”andfloutmeansto“disregard.”

QuickandDirtyTip

Rememberthatyoufloutlawsbylinkingtheoutinfloutwiththeideaofbeing

outsidesociety.

That’sit,baby!Whenyougotit,flauntit,flauntit!

—NathanLaneasMaxBialystockinthemovieTheProducers

The[flapper]assertedherrighttodance,drink,smoke,anddate…

tolivefreeofthestricturesthatgovernedhermother’s

generation….ShefloutedVictorian-eraconventionsandscandalized

herparents.

—JoshuaZeitzinFlapper:AMadcapStoryofSex,Style,Celebrity,and

theWomenWhoMadeAmericaModern

What’stheTrouble?Peoplearen’tsurewhetherpaperswithinformation,or

“handbills,”arefliersorflyers.

Supposedly,flieristheAmericanspellingandflyeristheBritishspelling.That’swhat

Garner’sModernAmericanUsageclaims,andthatclaimisbackedupbythe

AssociatedPress(anAmericanorganization),whichrecommendsflier,andThe

Economist(aBritishpublication),whichrecommendsflyer.

Ontheotherhand,whenaddressingthe“handbill”meaning,Webster’sThird(an

Americandictionary)saysthewordisusuallyspelledflyer,andtheOxfordEnglish

Dictionary(adictionarywithBritishroots),saystheU.S.spellingisflyer.AGoogle

BooksNgramsearch(whichisn’trestrictedbymeaning)showsthatflyerismore

commonthanflierinbothBritishEnglishandAmericanEnglishandthatboth

spellingshavecoexistedsinceatleast1800.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyou’refollowingAssociatedPressstyle,usefliertomean“handbill.”Otherwise,pick

thespellingyoupreferanduseitconsistently.

We’rebarelymakingenoughtosurvive,withnohopeforanything

better.Icouldn’tdreamanymoreaboutschool.ButwhenIsawthis

flier,Ifeltlifegettingbackintome.

—MackenzieAstinasWillStonemaninthemovieIronWill

FlyerseemstobepreferredinthenamesofbusesandtrainssuchastheMidnight

Flyer,andflierseemstobepreferredwhenyoumean“onewhoflies,”butit’seasyto

findexceptions.

FORFREE

What’stheTrouble?Forfreeiscommon,butsomeusageexpertsdisparageit.

Typically,forisfollowedbyanamount:Youcanhavethatteacupforfivedollars.I’ll

giveyouthatsaucerfornothing.Freeisn’tanamount;it’sadescriptionthatmeans

“withoutcharge”or“withoutcost.”YoucouldanswerthequestionHowmuchdoyou

have?byresponding,Fivedollars,orNothing,butnotbyrespondingFree.

Nevertheless,forfreeissocommonthatsomepeopleconsideritanidiom,andthere

areinstancesinwhichyoucan’tswapfreeandforfreewithoutmakingyoursentence

soundawkwardorcausingconfusion.

KevinWilliamscan’twaittogetoutontothefieldwithhis

MinnesotaVikingsteammatesforthefirsttimethisseasonafter

missingthefirsttwogamesbecauseofasuspension.

He’salittlelessexcitedaboutplayingthenexttwogamesforfree.

[Freealonecouldhavebeenconfusing,perhapssuggestingthatheisafree

agent.Withoutpaycouldbeabetterchoice.]

—JonKrawczynskiwritingfortheAssociatedPress

We’renotgoingtobreakanything.Don’tthinkofitasbreakinginto

SeaWorld.ThinkofitasvisitingSeaWorldinthemiddleofthe

nightforfree.

[Freealonewouldbeawkwardsinceitisatsuchadistancefromwhatitis

modifying:visiting.ThesentencecouldbefixedbywritingThinkofitasafree

visittoSea-Worldinthemiddleofthenight.]

—JohnGreeninPaperTowns

WhatShouldYouDo?

Theinstancesinwhichyousimplycan’tdroptheforfromforfreearerare,andforfree

stilldrawsenoughnegativeattentionthatit’sworththeextraefforttorewriteyour

sentencestoavoidit.

FREEGIFT

What’stheTrouble?Freegiftisusuallyredundant.

Giftsshouldbefreebydefinition,right?It’srarelynecessarytowriteaboutafreegift.

Giftaloneshouldsuffice.

Ontheotherhand,althoughit’sredundant,freegiftissocommoninadvertisements

thatit’shardtocallitanerror.Let’sjustsaythatitshouldbelimitedtothedomainof

advertisersbecausetheyseemtofinditeffective.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Avoidthephrasefreegiftunlessyou’rewritingads.

Sospeakup,America.Speakupforthehomeofthebrave.Speakup

forthelandofthefreegiftwithpurchase!

—ReeseWitherspoonasElleWoodsinthemovieLegallyBlonde2:Red,

White&Blonde

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplethinkfuncan’tbeusedasanadjectiveand

otherpeoplethinkit’sfinetousefunnest.

Funoftenmeanssomethingdifferentdependingonhowoldyouare—bothliterallyand

linguistically.Literally,aneighty-year-oldmayfindfuninacrosswordpuzzle,whereas

aneight-year-oldmaycravearollercoasterride.Linguistically,everyoneagreesthat

funisanoun(e.g.,everyonehadfun),butolderpeoplethinkthefunstopsthere,

whereasyoungerpeoplethinkfuncanalsobeanadjective(e.g.,itwasafunparty).

Althoughfunhasbeenusedasanadjectivesincethemid-1800s,therewasaburstof

talkaboutfuncars,funclothes,funparties,andfunpeoplestartingrightafterWorld

WarIIandtheusecontinuedon.Morethanonelanguageexperthascommentedon

thelinkbetweenageandhowacceptablepeoplefindfun,theadjective.

Oneargumentagainstallowingfuntobeusedasanadjectiveisthatthecomparative

andsuperlativeforms(funnerandfunnest)arestillconsideredobjectionable(orat

leastwildlyinformal)byalmosteveryone,andit’saproblemtohaveanadjectivethat

can’ttakethesamenormalextendedformsasotheradjectives.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Feelfreetousefunasanadjectiveunlessyou’rewritingforapublicationwhose

audienceislargelyolderreaders.Avoidfunnerandfunnestunlessyou’retryingto

soundlikeadudeordudette.(OrareveredtechCEO.Don’tforgetthatSteveJobs

introducedthenewiPodTouchin2008bycallingitthe“funnestiPodever.”)

Ifyouneverdidyoushould.Thesethingsarefunandfunisgood.

[funasapredicateadjectiveandanoun]

—Dr.SeussinOneFishTwoFishRedFishBlueFish

ASupposedlyFunThingI’llNeverDoAgain

[funasanadjective]

—TitleofaDavidFosterWallacebookofessaysandarguments

Youwannatalkfun?Publicbus.Youmeetthefunnestpeople.

[funnestasthesuperlativeoffun]

—NicholasBrendonasXanderintheTVseriesBuffytheVampireSlayer

GAUNTLET

What’stheTrouble?Manystyleguidesrecommendgantletinthephrasemost

peoplewriteasrunthegauntlet.

Manyusageexpertssaygauntletandgantlethavedifferentoriginsandthatagauntlet

isonlyagloveandagantletisonlyapathlinedwithattackers.Therefore,youthrow

downthegauntlet(glove)tochallengesomeoneandpickupthegauntlet(glove)to

acceptachallenge,butyourunthegantlet(acourse).

Moststyleguidesstillsupportthedistinction.Forexample,theAPStylebookcurrently

recommendsusinggantletinphrasessuchasrunthegantlet.However,inthepast,the

APeditorshavesaidtheybowtocommonusage(forexample,whentheychangedtheir

recommendationfrome-mailtoemail).Theyarelikelytoabandonthegantlet

requirementinthenearfuture,particularlybecausetwolargenewspapershave

reportedreceivingsignificantmailchidingthemforthe“error”whentheyhaveused

gantletasAPrecommends.Further,runthegauntletalreadyappearsmoreoftenin

booksthanrunthegantlet.

Finally,Merriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsagedigsintotheetymologyof

gauntletandfindsthatthedistinctionfromgantletisnotsoclear.Althoughtheyare

usuallypronounceddifferentlynow,earlyongantletandgauntletweresimplyvariant

spellingsoftheSwedishwordgatalopp,whichmeant“road”or“course”andwas

makingitswayintoEnglish.Theyfindnoreasongantletbecamethepreferredspelling,

andiffact,suggestitmaybebecauseoftheirowndistinctionbetweenthewordsinone

oftheirearlydictionaries,whichtheyregret.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Unlessyou’refollowingastyleguidethatrequiresgantlet,usegauntletwhenyou’re

talkingaboutrunningdownalanewhilebeingattacked.Ifyouusegantlet,youruna

significantriskofbeingviewedasincorrectorprecious.

TOMParis:Whenyousaid“Bethereinaminute,”youweren’t

kidding.

B’ElannaTorres:AgroupofKlingonsambushedmeoutsideof

Engineering.Idecidedtransportingmyselfwouldbeeasierthan

runningthegauntlet.

—RobertDuncanMcNeillasTomParisandRoxannDawsonasB’Elanna

TorresintheTVseriesStarTrek:Voyager

GENDER

What’stheTrouble?Genderhasbecomeaquestionablereplacementforsex.

Peopleoftenusethewordgenderasa“delicate”waytoasksomeone’ssex,butit’s

technicallysomethingelse.Whenyouaskwhatsomeone’ssexis,you’reaskingwhether

theyhavethephysicalcharacteristicsofamaleorafemale.Genderisasocial

construct,sowhenyouasksomeone’sgender,you’reaskingwhetherapersonwantsto

beperceivedaswhatsocietycallsmaleorsocietycallsfemale.That’swhyintersexis

usedtodescribesomeonewhohasbothmaleandfemalephysicalcharacteristics,and

transgenderisusedtodescribepeoplewhoarephysicallymalebutpresentthemselves

totheworldasiftheyarefemale,andviceversa.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyourreadersarelikelytobeextremelysqueamishaboutsex,it’sOKtousegenderas

areplacementforsex,butifnot,trytokeepthedistinctionbetweenthetwowords.

Tedyoumaywannafindanewgenderforyourself’causeI’m

revokingyourdudemembership.

—NeilPatrickHarrisasBarneyintheTVseriesHowIMetYourMother

Therearetwotypesofmaleoysters,andoneofthemcanchange

gendersatwill.

[Sexwouldhavebeenabetterchoicesince,presumably,oystershaveno

culturethatdefinessocialconstructssuchasgender.]

—WilliamPetersenasGilGrissomintheTVseriesCSI:CrimeScene

Investigation

GONEMISSING

What’stheTrouble?ManyAmericansfindgonemissingannoying,yetitisnot

incorrect.

GonemissingisaBritishismthathasmadeitswaytotheUnitedStates,whereitis

primarilyusedbyjournaliststodescribemissingpersons.Althoughreportersand

newscastersseemtolovegonemissing,it’seasytofindvocalreadersandviewerswho

hateit.

Hatersarguethatapersonmustgotoalocation,andmissingisn’taplace,andthatan

inanimateobjectcan’tgomissingbecauseitcan’ttakeactionalone—butEnglishhas

neverbeensoliteral.Inatightlabormarket,jobscangobegging(beun-filled),for

example,eventhoughbeggingisnotalocationandjobscan’ttakeaction.Other

peeverssuggestthatgonemissingnecessitatesanactiononthepartofthepersonor

itemthathasvanished.Again,wehaveparallelsthatunderminetheargument:Milk

goesbad,forexample,withouttakinganyactiononitsown.

Gonemissingisnotwrong.TheOxfordEnglishDictionaryplacesitinthesame

categoryasthephrasegonative,asinWehadhighhopesforournewsenator,but

afterhewasinWashingtonforafewmonthshewentnative.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifgonemissingbothersyou,useawordsuchasdisappearedinyourownwriting.You

cancriticizegonemissingasannoyingifyoulike,butnotasincorrect.

ThesheriffofArea9inTexashasgonemissing.HeistwiceasoldasI

amandverypowerful.Ifonesuchashecanbetaken,thannoneof

usissafe.

—AlexanderSkarsgårdasEricNorthmanintheTVseriesTrueBlood

GOTTEN

What’stheTrouble?Inthepast,someschoolbookstaughtthatgottenisincorrect

asthepastparticipleoftheverbtoget,butsuchadvicehasadubioussource.

TheBritishrarelyusegottenasthepastparticipleofgetanymore(theyprefergot),but

it’sstillthemostcommonAmericanformandisacceptedbymajorAmericanstyle

guides.Britishstyleguidesdisparagedgottenbackinthe1800sandthatcriticism

madeitswayintosomepopularAmericanschoolbooks.

AlthoughgottenisfineinAmerica,wealsousegot.Merriam-Webster’sDictionaryof

EnglishUsagesaysAmericansusegottenandgot“inawaythatisalmostfreely

variable.”However,whichwordyouusecanchangethemeaningofsomesentences.

Gotcanhaveasenseofownership,whereasgottencanhaveasenseofprocess.The

AmericanHeritageGuidetoContemporaryUsageandStylehighlightsitbestwith

thesetwoexamples:Ihaven’tgotanymoney(whichsaysyou’rebroke)versusI

haven’tgottenanymoney(whichsaysyouhaven’tbeenpaid).

(AlsoseeHaveGot.)

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tbeafraidtousegotten,butinsentenceswheregotcouldmeansomething

different,besureyouchoosetherightword.

Thephotographcaughtfourblackbearsastheypuzzledovera

suspendedfoodbag.Thebearswereclearlystartledbutnot

remotelyalarmedbytheflash.Itwasnotthesizeordemeanorof

thebearsthattroubledme—theylookedalmostcomically

nonaggressive,likefourguyswhohadgottenaFrisbeecaughtupa

tree—buttheirnumbers.Uptothatmomentithadnotoccurredto

methatbearsmightprowlinparties.

—BillBrysoninAWalkintheWoods:RediscoveringAmericaonthe

AppalachianTrail

GRADUATED

What’stheTrouble?Peoplearestartingtodropthefrominsentencessuchas

Johnnygraduatedfromhighschool.

Seventyyearsago,parentssaidJohnnywasgraduatedfromhighschool,butthat’sa

passiveconstruction.Bythemid-1960s,peoplehaddroppedthewas,andtheactive

formhadbecomethestandardform:Johnnygraduatedfromhighschool.Recently,

graduatedhasbeenthetargetofanotherchange:peoplearestartingtodropthefrom

andsimplysayJohnnygraduatedhighschool.

Thenew,shorterformmayeventuallybecomestandard,butit’scurrentlyconsidered

wrongbecauseaschooldoestheactofgraduatingandthenewwayofsayingitseems

toimplythatJohnnydidtheactofgraduating.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwiththegraduatedfromconstruction:Johnnygraduatedfromhighschool.

[phonerings]

CLIFF:Oh,notanotherVanessacaller.

[answers]

CLIFF:Vanessa’sResidence?…No,shecannotcometothephone

rightnow….Becauseitisnow10:05,andshecannottakeanycalls

past10o’clock….No,Icannottakeamessage.Iamherfather.Iam

adoctor.Igraduatedfrommedicalschool,allright?

—BillCosbyasHeathcliffHuxtableintheTVseriesTheCosbyShow

What’stheTrouble?Somepeopleobjecttousinggrowwithintangibleobjects

(e.g.,growtheeconomyinsteadofgrowroses).

Clearly,growcantakeanobject.Peoplehavebeengrowingriceandwheatfor

millennia.Peoplehaveonlyspokenofgrowinginvestmentsoreconomiesforafew

decadesthough,andoutsideofbusinesscircles,usingsuchnonorganic,intangible

objectswiththetransitiveverbgrowraisessomeeyebrows.

Nevertheless,metaphorically,investmentsandeconomiesneedtendinginthesame

waythatplantsneedwaterandfertilizer.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Growinthissenseisfirmlyestablishedinbusinesswritingandisn’tgoingaway.Freely

usegrowwithnonlivingthingsinbusinesspublications,butbemorehesitantinother

typesofpublications.

Votersnextfallmaybeabletoweightwostronglycontrastingviews

ofhowtogrowtheeconomyandcreatejobs.

—ChristianScienceMonitoreditorialboard

NOTE:Oddasitmayseem,it’sperfectlyacceptabletosaysomethinggrewsmaller.

“Become”haslongbeenoneofthedefinitionsofgrow.

What’stheTrouble?Halfcanbesingularorplural.

Typically,subjectsandverbsmustagree:Ifthesubjectissingular,theverbissingular;

andifthesubjectisplural,theverbisplural.However,sentencesthatstartwithhalf

don’tfollowthisrule.

Halfaloneissingular,butalthoughhalfisthesubjectinasentencesuchasHalfthe

boysaremissing,weuseapluralverbbecauseofsomethingcallednotionalagreement.

Itsimplymeansthatalthoughhalfissingular,thesubjecthasanotionofbeingplural,

sothepluralverbisOK.

Halfhasafewotherquirkstoo.Compoundwordsthatstartwithhalfcanbeopen,

closed,orhyphenated(e.g.,halfnote,halfhearted,half-baked).There’snorule,soyou

havetocheckadictionary.Andalthoughhalfofisn’twrong,usuallythemeaning

doesn’tchangeandyoursentenceismoreconciseifyouleaveouttheof.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Followthisrulewhenhalfisthesubjectofasentence:Ifhalfisfollowedbyasingular

noun,useasingularverb.Ifhalfisfollowedbyapluralnoun,useapluralverb.

Halftheworldiscomposedofpeoplewhohavesomethingtosayand

can’t,andtheotherhalfwhohavenothingtosayandkeeponsaying

—RobertFrost,Americanpoet

HalfoftheAmericanpeoplehaveneverreadanewspaper.Half

nevervotedforPresident.Onehopesitisthesamehalf.

—GoreVidal,Americanfictionandnonfictionwriter

HANUKKAH

What’stheTrouble?TherearemanyacceptablewaystospellHanukkah.

TheJewishholidayalsoknownastheFestivalofLightscanbespelledChanukah,

Hanukkah,Hanukah,andHannukah.Andthat’sjustthebeginning.Hebrewwords

likeHanukkahcan’tbedirectlytranslatedtoEnglishbecauseEnglishandHebrewuse

differentalphabets.Instead,wordsaretransliterated:givenEnglishspellingsbasedon

howtheyarepronounced.Transliterationleavesspellingopentointerpretation.

ThemostpopularspellingintheCorpusofContemporaryAmericanEnglish(ahuge

databaseofEnglishtext)isHanukkah,andthatisalsothespellingrecommendedby

theAssociatedPress.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Pickonespellinganduseitconsistently.Hanukkahisagoodexampleofwhy

organizationsneedstyleguides.

Somenights,someplacesarealittlebrighter.It’sdifficulttostare

atNewYorkCityonValentine’sDay,orDublinonSt.Patrick’s.The

oldwalledcityofJerusalemlightsuplikeacandleoneachof

Chanukah’seightnights…We’rehere,theglow…willsayinoneanda

halfcenturies.We’rehere,andwe’realive.

—JonathanSafranFoerinEverythingIsIlluminated

HAVEGOT

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplesaythatgotisunnecessaryandincorrectwhen

insertedbetweenhavetoinsentencessuchasYouhavegottoseemynewparrot.

Got,indeed,doesnotnotsignificantlychangethemeaningwhenit’sincludedafterthe

helpingverbhave(IhavetobuysomebirdseedversusIhavegottobuysome

birdseed).Itdoes,however,addemphasis,justasmyselfaddsemphasisinasentence

suchasIpickedouttheparrotmyself.

HavegothasbeenusedinEnglishforcenturiesandisconsideredfullystandardby

mostmodernusageguides.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usehavegottowithoutfearwhenyoursentencemeritsextraemphasis.

Ifyouhaveanythingtosay,anythingyoufeelnobodyhaseversaid

before,youhavegottofeelitsodesperatelythatyouwillfindsome

waytosayitthatnobodyhaseverfoundbefore,sothatthething

youhavetosayandthewayofsayingitblendasonematter—

asindissolublyasiftheywereconceivedtogether.

—F.ScottFitzgeraldinTheShortStoriesofF.ScottFitzgerald

HEALTHY

What’stheTrouble?Somepeopleinsistthatcarrotsaren’thealthy;they’re

healthfulbecauseonlyhealthfulcanmean“conducivetohealth.”

Healthyhaslongbeenusedtodescribethingsthatimproveyourconstitution.

Healthfulgainedgroundagainsthealthystartinginthelate1800s,buthealthyfought

backandnow,althoughhealthfulisn’twrong,healthyisthedominantStandard

Englishwordweusewhendescribingfruits,vegetables,exercise,andotherthingswe

hopewillmakeuslivelonger.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ignoreanyonewhosaysyouhavetousehealthfulinsteadofhealthy(unlessyou’re

tryingtofeignan“old-timey”air).

It’saveryhealthfuldrink!Evenbetterforyouthanplacingleeches

onyourtongue.

—GaryColemanvoicingKennyFalmouthinthevideogameTheCurseof

MonkeyIsland

What’stheTrouble?Heroisoverusedandmisunderstood.

Somedictionariesincludeadefinitionofherothatmeans“anadmiredperson,”but

readerscanobjectwhenwritersextendtheherolabeltoanentireclassofpeople(e.g.,

allfirefightersorallsoldiers)orpeoplewhoarejustdoingadifficultjob(e.g.,an

excellentteacher).Suchreadersmaintainthatapersonmustdosomething

extraordinarytobeahero—thattheremaybeheroesamongfirefighters,butnotevery

firefighterisheroic;andthatpeoplemustaccomplishmorethansimplydoingtheirjob

welltobeahero.

Heroalsohasothermeanings.Forexample,inliterature,aherocanbesimply“the

maincharacterinawork,”andinclassicmythology,aherois“astrong,courageous

manwhomayhavegodlikepowersorbefavoredbythegods.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Althoughit’snotincorrecttouseherotodescribesomeoneyouadmireorthinkyour

readersshouldadmire,considerwhetheradifferentdescriptionmaybemore

appropriateorlessgratingtocertainreaders.

[Homerhasbeenthrownoutofanall-you-can-eatrestaurantfor

eatingtoomuch]

LIONELHUTZ:Thisisthemostblatantcaseoffalseadvertisingsince

mysuitagainstthemovieTheNeverEndingStory.

HOMER:So,doyouthinkIhaveacase?

LIONELHUTZ:Mr.Simpson,Idon’tusetheword“hero”lightly,butyou

arethegreatestheroinAmericanhistory.

HOMER:Woohoo!

—PhilHartmanvoicingLionelandDanCastellanetavoicingHomerinthe

TVseriesTheSimpsons

HOPEFULLY

What’stheTrouble?Althoughit’scommontousehopefullytomean“Ihope,”

manypeopleobjecttosuchuse.

Forcenturies,hopefullymeant“inahopefulmanner.”

Totravelhopefullyisabetterthingthantoarrive.

—ScottishwriterRobertLouisStevenson

Inthe1960s,peoplestartedusinghopefullytomean“Ihope”or“wehope.”Itbecame

trendy.Atthetime,usageexpertsobjectedtothenewmeaning,butthoseobjections

failedtostick.Today,hopefullytomean“Ihope”iswidespreadandmoststyleguides

havesoftenedtheirstance.Merriam-Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsagepinsthe

peakofhopefullyoppositionto1975;nevertheless,manypeoplearestillalivetoday

whoremembertheearlyandmorevehementopposition.

TREYATWOOD:Ryansaidyoutalkalot.

SETH:Yeah,it’skindofaproblembuthopefullyoneyou’llcometo

findendearing.

—LoganMarshall-GreenasTreyandAdamBrodyasSethintheTVseries

TheO.C

WhatShouldYouDo?

Hideunderarock?Unfortunately,youcan’twinwithhopefully.Althoughthe

argumentsagainstusingitasasentenceadverbareuncompelling(it’snotmuch

differentfromfranklyandthankfully),anditcommonlyappearsinprintandeveryday

language,youarestillquitelikelytodrawcriticismfromalargepoolofobjectorsifyou

useit.Takecomfortintheknowledgeitprobablywon’tbeaproblemforyourchildren.

I’D’VE

What’stheTrouble?Somecontractionsthatmimicspeechpatternsseemoddin

writing.

Whenwespeak,weoftenslurandcontractourwords.Someofthesecontractionsare

alsocommoninprint(there’s,I’m),yetotherslookunusualandawkward(I’d’ve,

that’ve,there’re).I’d’veisnolesscorrectthanshould’ve,andthere’reisnolesscorrect

thanthere’s,butusingsuchoddcontractionscouldthrowyourreaders.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Unlessyou’regoingforaninformal,breezyairthatcloselymimicsspeech,avoidthe

lesscommoncontractionssuchasI’d’ve.

Newtdidsomethinggraceful.KarenTumulty,Ibelieve,said

“CongressmanGingrich,”thencorrectedherselfwith“Speaker

Gingrich.”AndNewtbrokein,“Newt.”(IfIhadbeenthereporter,

I’d’vesaid“Mr.Gingrich.”Idon’tthinkthesetitlesshouldcarryon

forever.)

—JayNordlingerinhis“Impromptus”columnfortheNationalReview

Online

What’stheTrouble?Determiningwhetheryouneedintoorintocanbetricky.

Intoindicatesmotion,andinindicatesposition:Youaccidentallywalkedintoawall,

andyouwereinyourroomwhenthephonerang.Thatseemssimpleenough.

Thetrickypartisthatinisalsopartofphrasalverbssuchastunein,optin,andlogin

thatcanjusthappentocomebeforetoinasentence.That’swhenyouhavetobe

careful.Forexample,youtuneintoaradiostation;youdon’ttuneintoit.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whenyou’renotsurewhethertouseintoorinto,askyourselfwhetherthereismotion

(ifso,youusuallywantinto),orwhetheryourverbwouldhaveadifferentmeaningif

youdeletedthewordin(ifso,youusuallywantinto).

TMZhasvideoof[Shia]LaBeoufbeingpunchedbyanunnamed

personwhilelayingontheground.Othersoutsidequicklystepped

intopullShiaoutofthere.

[Notethatsteppedhasadifferentmeaningthansteppedin.]

—CharleyBeenwritingforStarzLife

[R]eplacingdepartedstarShiaLaBeoufwithBritmusclemanJason

Stathamcouldinjectsomenewtestosterone-drivenenergyintothe

series.

[Notethatinjectintoindicatesmetaphoricalmotion—energyflowingintothe

series.]

—DaveLewiswritingforHitFix

What’stheTrouble?ItisIistechnicallycorrect,butmostpeoplesayItisme.

Grammatically,Iisthecorrectchoicefollowingalinkingverbsuchasis,meaningwhen

peopleaskWhoisthere?youshouldanswerItisI.Nevertheless,tomostpeople,ItisI

soundsoverlyformalevenaftertheyaretaughttherule.

It’snotamodernproblem.Backin1878,HenryAlford,theDeanofCanterburyand

authorofapopularusagebookoftheera,APleafortheQueen’sEnglish,calledItisme

a“wellknownandmuchcontrovertedphrase.”HedefendedItisme,saying,“Thisisan

expressionthateveryoneuses.Grammarians(ofthesmallerorder)protest;

schoolmasters(ofthelowerkind)prohibitandchastise;butEnglishmen,women,and

childrengoonsayingit,andwillgoonsayingitaslongastheEnglishlanguageis

spoken.”

ModernusageguidescontinuetosupportItisme.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Inallbutthemostformalsituations,feelfreetouseItismeorIt’sme.

ItisI;benotafraid.

—JesusinthebookofMatthew

AreYouThereGod?It’sMe,Margaret.

—JudyBlumebooktitle

JEALOUS

What’stheTrouble?Jealousandenvioushaveoverlappingmeaningsandare

oftenusedinterchangeably.

Somesourcessayjealousshouldbelimitedtoresentfulemotionalrivalries(often

romantic)withanotherperson,whereasenviouscanexpandtocoverdesiringor

covetingtheobjectsoraccomplishmentsofanotherperson.Jealousycanalsocome

withanelementoffearthatyoumightlosesomeone,whereasifyouareenvious,you

simplywantwhatsomebodyelsehas.

Forexample,maybeyou’rejealousofyourgirlfriend’sbestfriendwho’sadude,but

you’reenviousofherupcomingtriptoHawaii.Ifshe’sgoingtoHawaiiwiththedude,

youcanbejealousandenviousatthesametime!(Clearly,it’sadoomedrelationship.)

Nevertheless,jealousiscommonlyusedinmoviesandmagazinearticleswhenenvious

wouldbethemoreprecisetermaccordingtotraditionaldefinitions,anddictionaries

includeoverlappingdefinitions.Thedistinctionbetweenthetwowordsinpracticeis

weak,atbest.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyouwishtobeprecise,makeadistinctionbetweenjealousandenviousinyour

writing,butdon’tbesurprisedwhenthedefinitionsareblurredinpopculture.

Youpeoplemakemeenvythedeafandtheblind!

—JohnnyHardwickasDaleintheTVseriesKingoftheHill

Oh,please.Youcan’ttellmeyouweren’tjealousthatVaughnhadhis

hippiehandsalloveryourdebate-slash-make-outpartner.

—GillianJacobsasBrittaintheTVseriesCommunity

What’stheTrouble?Kindslipsinwhenpeoplemeankinds.

Youhaveonekindofpeanutbutterbutthreekindsofjelly.Usethesingular(kind)

whenyouhaveoneofsomething;usetheplural(kinds)whenyouhavemore.Since

theseandthoseindicatemultiplethings,youhavetouseaplural:kinds:Thesekindsof

situationsalwaysperplexme.(Thesekindofsituationsiswrong.)

WhatShouldYouDo?

Thebestyoucandoistowatchoutfortheproblem.Remember:whenyouhavea

pluraladjectivesuchastheseorthose,youneedapluralnoun,kinds:Thosekindsof

restaurantsalwaysseemtofillupfast.

Thecharacterstrengthsthatenabled[DominicRandolph]to

achievethesuccessthathehaswerenotbuiltinhisyearsat

Harvardorattheboardingschoolsheattended;theycameoutof

thoseyearsoftrialanderror,oftakingchancesandlivingwithouta

safetynet.Anditispreciselythosekindsofexperiencesthathe

worriesthathisstudentsaren’thaving.

—PaulToughinTheNewYorkTimes

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplemistakenlybelievekudosisplural.

Kudosmeans“praise”or“glory”andisoftenusedwhere“congratulations”wouldfit.It

comesdirectlyfromGreekandissingular,justaspraiseandgloryaresingular.

However,becausekudosendsinsandcongratulationsisplural,somepeople

mistakenlybelievethatkudosispluralandusekudoasasingularform.Suchuseis

incorrect.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usekudos,andrememberthatit’ssingular.

“Iseethatyouareworkingthisvampireanglewithsomesuccess,”

Jacesaid,indicatingIsabelleandMaiawithanodofhishead.“And

kudos.Lotsofgirlslovethatsensitive-undeadthing.ButI’ddrop

thatwholemusicianangleifIwereyou.Vampirerockstarsare

playedout,andbesides,youcan’tpossiblybeverygood.”

—CassandraClareinCityofGlass

Memotoself:Kudosareinorder.IcouldwinaNobelPrize.Ifthey

everaddthatAtrocitiescategory.[Itshouldbekudosisinorderor

congratulationsareinorder.]

—AlanRachinsasProfessorJeffersonColeintheTVseriesLois&Clark:

TheNewAdventuresofSuperman

What’stheTrouble?Layiscommonlyusedwhenlieistherightchoice.

BryanGarner,authorofGarner’sModernAmericanUsage,callsmistakinglayforlie

“oneofthemostwidelyknownofallusageerrors,”andlayversuslieisoneofthetop

searchesthatbringspeopletotheGrammarGirlwebsite.Clearly,there’ssome

confusion.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Theruleisactuallyquitesimple.Layisthetransitiveverb(youuseitwhenyouare

layingsomethingdown)andlieistheintransitiveverb(youuseitwhenyouor

someoneyouaredescribingistakingtheactionoflyingdown).Youlayapenonthe

table,andliedowntosleep.

Ienjoyhavingbreakfastinbed.Ilikewakinguptothesmellof

bacon,sueme.AndsinceIdon’thaveabutler,Ihavetodoit

myself.So,mostnightsbeforeIgotobed,Iwilllaysixstripsof

baconoutonmyGeorgeForemangrill.ThenIgotosleep.WhenI

wakeup,Ipluginthegrill.Igobacktosleepagain.ThenIwakeup

tothesmellofcracklingbacon.

—SteveCarellasMichaelScottintheTVseriesTheOffice

LIGHTEDANDLIT

What’stheTrouble?Theverbtolighthastwoacceptablepasttenseforms.

Oddasitmayseem,bothlightedandlitareequallyacceptablepasttenseformsofthe

verbtolight.

Lightedisaregularform(becauseyouadd-edtotheendtomakeitpasttense),andlit

isanirregularform(becauseyouchangethespellinginsteadofadding-edtotheend),

butirregulardoesnotmeanlessacceptable.Infact,litappearsmoreofteninprintthan

lighted.

Ilightedthreecandles.

Ilitthreecandles.

LightedistheolderadjectiveformaccordingtotheOxfordEnglishDictionary,but

again,bothlightedandlitarestandardadjectives.

Hesawheracrossthelightedballroom.

Hesawheracrossthelitballroom.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Choosewhicheverwordsoundsbetterinyoursentence.

Thousandsofcandlescanbelighted/litfromasinglecandle,andthe

lifeofthecandlewillnotbeshortened.Happinessneverdecreases

bybeingshared.

—ABuddhistsayingthatappearsinbothforms

What’stheTrouble?Mediaistreatedasbothsingularandplural.

MediacomesfromLatin,inwhichmediumisthesingularandmediaistheplural.

However,foreignwordscanchangetheirstripeswhentheybecomerootedinEnglish,

andmediaisdoingjustthat.

InEnglish,mediaisoftenusedasacollectivenounlikebandorteam,andinAmerica

weusuallytreatcollectivenounsassingularnouns:Thebandishere,theteamis

excited,andthemediaisonthestory.(InBritain,collectivenounsareusuallytreated

asplural.)

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whenmediaisusedasacollectivenoun,it’sfinetouseasingularverb.TheAP

StylebookandTheChicagoManualofStylesupportsuchuse,althoughit’snot

unheardofforanAmericaneditortofavorusingapluralverb.You’llseethemediaare,

butyou’llseethemediaismoreoften:

Whoa,thisreallybeatsthepressureofplayingbigleagueball,there

ifyoumakeamistake,and“boom”themediaisalloveryou.

—MajorLeagueBaseballcatcherMikeSciosciaashimselfintheTVseries

TheSimpsons

Asanybodywhohasreadanewspapersince1788willknow,the

BritishmediaaresomewhatobsessedwithLondon,attheexpense

ofeverywhereelse.

—ScottMurraywritingforTheGuardian

MOMENTARILY

What’stheTrouble?Momentarilyislosingitsoriginalmeaning.

Momentarilyhasitsrootsinthewordmomentary—asinthePinkFloydalbumA

MomentaryLapseofReason—andittraditionallymeans“foramoment.”However,it’s

morecommonnowadaystohearpeopleusemomentarilywhentheymean“ina

moment.”TheOxfordEnglishDictionarysaysthisismainlyanAmericanproblem.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tusemomentarilytomean“foramoment”;youmayconfusepeople.Ifyoumean

inamoment,sayorwritethat.There’snoneedtousemomentarilyinsuchcases,and

doingsowillirritatelanguagepurists.

TOMSCAVO:[Lynetteissittingathercomputer]What’reyoudoing?

LYNETTESCAVO:I’mjusttalkingtoPorteronSilverfizz.

TOMSCAVO:WhoisSarahJfromMacArthurHighSchool?

LYNETTESCAVO:Me!I’msixteen,cute,IlikegraphicnovelsandTokyo

PoliceClub.

TOMSCAVO:OhmyGod!You’repretendingtobesomebodyelse!

LYNETTESCAVO:Ourbroodingsonhasaclassmatewhogotarrestedfor

sellingdrugs,Ireallythinktheendsjustifythemeans.

TOMSCAVO:We’lladdressyourmajorethicalbreachinamoment.What

didyoufindout?

—DougSavantasTomScavoandFelicityHuffmanasLynetteScavointhe

TVseriesDesperateHousewives

DR.RODNEYMCKAY:Ifiguredoutawaytocreateaglitchthat,onmy

command,shouldmomentarilyfreezethem.

RononDEX:Howlong?

Dr.RODNEYMCKAY:Well,Idon’tknow.That’swhyIsaid“momentarily.”

—DavidHewlettasMcKayandJasonMomoaasDexintheTVseries

Stargate:Atlantis

MYRIAD

What’stheTrouble?Somesourcessaythephraseamyriadofisunacceptable;

otherssayit’sfine.

TheAmericanHeritageGuidetoContemporaryUsageandStylenotesthatusing

myriadasanoun(e.g.,amyriadof)hasbeencommonthroughoutmostofEnglish

history,anditwasonlyintheearlynineteenthcenturythatmyriadstartedtobeused

asanadjective(e.g.,inmyriadways),andatfirstonlypoetically.Otherrespectable

styleguidesagreethatamyriadofisfine,buttheAssociatedPressinstructsitswriters

thusintheentryonmyriad:“wordisnotfollowedbyof.”Therefore,writerswhoare

familiaronlywithAPstylecanbelievethephraseamyriadofiswrong.

Cheesecoversamyriadofsins.

—JessicaBielasMaryintheTVseries7thHeaven

Booksgrantusmyriadpossibilities:thepossibilityofchange,the

possibilityofillumination.

—AlbertoManguelinTheLibraryatNight

Thepluralnoun,myriadsisalsoallowedbysome—inthesenseofahugeamountsuch

astensofthousands—andfrowneduponbyothers.

Oneoftheproofsoftheimmortalityofthesoulisthatmyriadshave

believedit.Theyalsobelievedtheworldwasflat.

—MarkTwain

WhatShouldYouDo?

FreelyuseamyriadofunlessyoufollowAPstyle,butknowthatyoumayoccasionally

getcomplaintswhenyoudoso.

NEITHER…NOR

What’stheTrouble?Choosingasingularorpluralverbcanbetrickywhenwriting

aneither…norsentence.

Peopleoftenseemincorrectlydrawntopluralverbswhenwritingwithneitherandnor.

However,neitherandnorcreatesomethingcalledan“alternatesubject,”whichmeans

youusetheclosestnounorpronountochooseyourverb.

singular+plural=pluralverb(Neithermilknorcookiesareonthemenu.)

plural+singular=singularverb(Neithercookiesnormilkisonthemenu.)

plural+plural=pluralverb(Neitherbrowniesnorcookiesareonthemenu.)

singular+singular=singularverb(Neithermilknororangejuiceisonthe

menu.)

Thesamerulesapplyforeither…orconstructions.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Rememberthatthenounclosesttotheverbdrivesyourverbchoice.Also,it’sbetterto

putthepluralverblastifpossible.

Neitherlovenorevilconquersall,butevilcheatsmore.

[singular(love)+singular(evil)=singularverb(conquers)]

—LaurellK.HamiltoninCeruleanSins

What’stheTrouble?Peoplethinknextmeansdifferentthingswhenitmodifiesa

dayoftheweek.

SomepeoplethinknextFridaymeansthenextFridaythatwilloccur,andotherpeople

thinknextFridaymeanstheFridayinthenextweek,regardlessofwhatdayitisinthe

currentweek.

WhatShouldYouDo?

ThereisnodefinitivemeaningfornextFriday,andeveniftherewere,usingitwould

stillcauseconfusion.Avoidusingnexttomodifyadayoftheweek.Bemorespecific.

SID:WellI’mgoingdowntovisitmysisterinVirginianext

Wednesday,foraweek,soIcan’tparkit.

JERRY:ThisWednesday?

SID:No,nextWednesday,weekafterthisWednesday.

JERRY:ButtheWednesdaytwodaysfromnowisthenextWednesday.

SID:IfImeantthisWednesday,IwouldhavesaidthisWednesday.

It’stheweekafterthisWednesday.

—JerrySeinfeldasJerryandJayBrooksasSidintheTVseriesSeinfeld

NOISOME

What’stheTrouble?Noisomehasnothingtodowithnoise.

Noisomesoundslikenoisy,butthat’snotwhatitmeans.Anoisomeproblemoffends

yournose,notyourears.Noisomemeans“offensiveordisgusting,”butisusedalmost

exclusivelytodescribesmells.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Rememberthatnoisomemeans“stinky,”anddon’tusenoisomeinasentencewherea

misinformedreadercouldinterpretittomean“noisy.”

QuickandDirtyTip

Insteadoffocusingontheinitiallettersthatmisleadyoutonoisy,focusonthe

pronunciation.NoisomecomesfromtheMiddleEnglishwordfor“annoy.”

Thinkofitas“annoy-some.”

“Amsterdam,”Isay,“wouldbesuperbwereitnotforitsstinks.”

Murraysays,“Thereisagooddealofmuddepositedatthebottom

ofthecanals,which,whendisturbedbybarges,producesamost

noisomeeffluviawhenthewaterissaidto‘grow.’Machinesare

constantlyatworktoclearoutthemud,whichissenttodistant

partsasmanure.”

—J.Ashby-SterryinTinyTravels

What’stheTrouble?Nonecanbesingularorplural,butmanypeoplethinkitcan

onlybesingular.

Noneusuallymeans“notone”andisfollowedbyanounandasingularverb.

However,sometimesnonemeans“notany”givingyoursentenceasenseofplurality.In

suchcases,nonecantakeapluralverb.

YouwillfindthatIwillonlytrulyhaveleftthisschoolwhennone

hereareloyaltome.

—J.K.RowlinginHarryPotterandtheChamberofSecrets

WhatShouldYouDo?

Youmaybechidedbytheuninformedwhenyoufollownonewithapluralverb,but

don’tbeafraidtodosoifit’sclearyoursentencecallsforit.

Nevertheless,it’snotascommonfornonetomean“notany”asitisfornonetomean

“notone,”andit’seasytobemistakenlydrawntoapluralverbwhennoneisfollowed

byapluralnoun.Ifyou’renotcertainandhavetoguess,gowithasingularverb.

What’stheTrouble?Manypeoplehavetroubleunderstandingodds.

Mathematically,oddsandprobabilityarenotthesamething,althoughcolloquially,

manypeopletreatthewordsassynonyms.Furthercomplicatingmatters,oddsforthe

sameeventcanbepresentedindifferentways.Forexample,onepersonmaythinkof

theoddsofrollingasixonaregularsix-sideddieas1to5infavor,andanotherperson

maythinkoftheoddsas5to1against.

Youcangetinparticulartroublewhenyoutalkaboutoddsbeinghighbecausehigh

oddscanmean“somethingislikelyorunlikely”dependingonhowyourreader

interpretsit.Thesamegoeswithlowodds.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyouwanttosaythat“somethingislikely,”saythere’sagoodchanceorahigh

probabilityofithappening.Ifyoumustuseodds,saytheyaregoododdsorbadodds,

not“high”or“low”odds.

HappyHungerGames!Andmaytheoddsbeeverinyourfavor.

—SuzanneCollinsinTheHungerGames

What’stheTrouble?Thiswell-knownAmericanaffirmativehastwoacceptable

spellings.

OKwasborninAmericainthe1830s.Muchlikethetextmessagingabbreviationsof

today,OKwasanabbreviationforafunnymisspellingofallcorrect:ollkorrect.

AccordingtotheOxfordEnglishDictionary,theokayspellingdidn’tappearuntil1895.

Today,bothformspeacefullycoexist.Forexample,theAssociatedPressrecommends

OKandTheChicagoManualofStylerecommendsokay.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyouworkforsomeoneelse,usethespellinginyouremployer’srecommendedstyle

guide.Ifyou’rewritingforyourself,pickyourfavoritespellinganduseitconsistently.

Oneoutoffourpeopleinthiscountryismentallyunbalanced.

Thinkofyourthreeclosestfriends;iftheyseemOK,thenyou’rethe

—AnnLanders,advicecolumnist

What’stheTrouble?Oneshowsupinconstructionssuchasoneinfiveandoneof

thepeoplewho,whichcanbehardtopindownassingularorplural.

InasentencesuchasOne-in-fivepeoplestruggleswithsubject-verbagreement,oneis

thesubjectandmoststyleguidessaytheverbshouldbesingular—it’sdrivenbyone,

notpeople.(Dissentingauthorssuggestthatwhenwritersrefertoone-in-fivepeople,

theyusuallydon’tmean“onesingleperson”;theyusuallymean“20percentofall

people,”whichhasasenseofbeingplural.)

InasentencesuchasOneofthepeoplewhostrugglewithsubject-verbagreementjust

threwabookoutthewindow,somestyleguidessayofthepeoplewhostrugglewith

subject-verbagreementisaphrasethatneedstobeinternallyconsistent.Inthat

phrase,thepeopledrivestheverbchoice,makingtheverbplural.However,you’llfind

evenmorestyleguidesthatdisagreewiththisrulethanthepreviousone.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyou’dlikearuletofollow,maketheverbinyourone-in-fivesentencessingularand

theverbinyourone-of-the-people-whosentencesplural.However,theexpertsdisagree

somuchaboutsuchcasesthatit’salsofinetochoosetheverbthatsoundsbesttoyouin

yourspecificsentence.

Tellme,isitoneinfourmarriagesthatendindivorcethesedays,or

oneinthree?[pluralverb]

—RenéeZellwegerasBridgetinthemovieBridgetJones’sDiary

AccordingtothelargesurveybytheEuropeanCommitteeinallEU

MemberStatesjustoneoutoftenEuropeancitizensdoesnotsee

climatechangeasa“seriousproblem.”[singularverb]

—RolfSchuttenhelminTheHuffingtonPost

ORIENTATE

What’stheTrouble?Englishhastwoverbsthatmeanthesamething:orientand

orientate.

Orientistheolderverb,butitsrival,orientate,hasbeenaroundsincethemid-1800s.

Weoftenmakenewwordsbyaddingsuffixes.Forexample,wegottheword

syndicationbyaddingthe-ionsuffixtotheendoftheverbsyndicate.Buttheprocess

canalsoworkinreverse:wecanmakenewwordsbydroppingsuffixes.Forexample,

wegottheverbeditbydroppingthesuffixfromeditor.That’scalledbackformation,

andit’showlexicographersthinkwegotthewordorientate—bydroppingthe-ion

suffixfromorientation.

OrientandorientatearebothacceptableEnglishverbs,butorientispreferredin

AmericanEnglishandorientateispreferredinBritishEnglish.

WhatShouldYouDo?

InAmericanEnglish,stickwithorient.

Thewayyoumove—youorientyourselfaroundhimwithouteven

thinkingaboutit.Whenhemoves,evenalittlebit,youadjustyour

positionatthesametime.Likemagnets…orgravity.You’relikea…

satellite,orsomething.

—StephenieMeyerinEclipse

OUTLOUD

What’stheTrouble?Indaysofold,aloudwastheonlyculturedoption.

Intheearly1900s,usageguidewriterslookeddowntheirnosesatoutloudandcalled

it“colloquial.”Today,outloudandaloudarebothfine,althoughaloudstillhasamore

high-broworformalfeel.

Contextseemstodrivepeople’spreferences.Readaloudandsaidaloudaremuchmore

commoninbooksthanreadoutloudandsaidoutloud,butsayitoutloudismore

commonthansayitaloud;andnotsurprisingly,laughoutloudsurpassedlaughaloud

around1975andhasbeenonastrongupwardtrendeversince.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usewhicheverwordsoundsmorenaturaltoyou,however,aloudisbetterforsolemnor

formaloccasionssuchasaskingsomeonetoreadaloudinchurch.

IthoughtsuchawfulthoughtsthatIcannotevensaythemoutloud

becausetheywouldmakeJesuswanttodrinkginstraightoutofthe

catdish.

—AnneLamottinTravelingMercies

Iwastalkingaloudtomyself.Ahabitoftheold:theychoosethe

wisestpersonpresenttospeakto.

—J.R.R.TolkieninTheTwoTowers

What’stheTrouble?Manypeoplehavebeentaughtnottouseovertomeanmore

than,butthereisnobasisfortherule.

Morethanandoverbothhavemultiplemeanings,butwhenthewordsactasa

prepositionbeforeanumber,they’reusuallyequivalent:Morethantwentycamels

performedaballet.Overtwentycamelsperformedaballet.

The“rule”againstusingoverinthissenseoriginatedwithaninfluentialNewYork

EveningPosteditorin1877.Despitehavingnorationale,hisdictumpropagated

throughoutnewspaperstyleguidesbecomingwhatMerriam-Webster’sDictionaryof

EnglishUsagecallsa“hoaryAmericannewspapertradition.”

Nearlyallmodernstyleguidescomeoutstronglyagainstthe“rule.”Garner’sModern

AmericanUsagecallsita“baselesscrotchet”andTheAmericanHeritageGuideto

ContemporaryUsageandStylesaysitmaybe“safelyignored.”Eventhenewest

editionoftheAPStylebook(ahoaryAmericannewspaperstylebook!)takesasoftened

stanceonover,sayingthatmorethanis“preferredwithnumerals,”butnotgoingsofar

astosaythatoveriswrong.

WhatShouldYouDo?

UnlessyouworkforapublicationthatfollowsAPstyle,freelyuseovertomeanmore

thanifitworksbetterinyoursentence.

Miracleoflove.You’reovertwiceaslikelytobekilledbytheperson

youlovethanbyastranger.

—HughLaurieasDr.GregoryHouseintheTVseriesHouseM.D.

Now,youlistentome,officer.Idonottakekindlytoyoushining

yourlightintheeyesofmyfemalecompanion.AndasIhavemore

than100yearsonyou,Idonottakekindlytoyoucallingme“son.”

—StephenMoyerasBillComptonintheTVseriesTrueBlood

What’stheTrouble?Peoplefindpairconfusing.Isitsingularorplural?When

shouldyouusepairs?

Apairis“twoofsomething,”butapairofcanbesingularorplural—it’soneofthose

oddEnglishverbs(likecouple)thatcanbesingularorpluraldependingonhowyou’re

thinkingofthepeopleoritemsinquestion.

Apairofpapers…havebeensubmittedtoAstronomyand

Astrophysics,describingtheplanets.

—DennisOverbyewritingforTheNewYorkTimes

Inthecrowd,furiousbutfriendlyargumentsweretakingplaceas

surroundinggroupswatched,muchthewayone-on-onebasketball

gamesareenjoyedinurbanAmerica.Onepairwasarguingthe

meritsofsalvagingatleastabitoftheRussianlanguageas

Ukrainianstrytomoveforwardintoindependence.

—FrancisX.ClineswritingforTheNewYorkTimes

Sometimesyou’llseepair(withoutansattheend)usedasapluralnoun,butpairsis

thebetterchoiceinsuchinstances.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whenyou’retalkingaboutmorethanonepair,thepluralispairs:Iownonepairof

pants.Iowneightpairsofpants.

Apairofcantakeasingularorpluralverb,dependingonyourmeaning.Choosethe

verbthatbestreflectsthesinglenessorpluralityofyoursentence.

PERCENT

What’stheTrouble?Writerswhoaren’tcomfortablewithmathcanconfuse

percentwithpercentagepoints.

Whenyouarewritingaboutincreasesordecreasesinmeasurementsthatare

themselvespercents,it’softenimportanttobepainfullyclearwhetheryourchangesare

percentchangesorpercentagepointchanges.

Forexample,if6percentofstudentsattendedswimmeetslastyear,and8percentof

studentsattendedswimmeetsthisyear,that’sa33percentincreaseinattendance,but

anincreaseofonly2percentagepoints.

Seehowthewayyoupresentthenumbercaninfluencehowdramaticthechange

seems?Also,ifyouusethewrongword,youcanbeveryfarfromreality.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usecarewhenwritingaboutpercentchanges.

DARNELLJACKSON:Uh,whatpercentageinchancedoesmyfriend,Aki,

haveofsleepingwithyou?

YUN:Zeropercent.

DARNELLJACKSON:Onemorequestion,please.Whatifhe’sa

professionalbreak-dancer?

YUN:Twopercent.

AKI:Mathematicallythat’saninfinitypercentincrease.

—MiguelA.NúñezJr.asDarnell,KiraClavellasYun,andBobbyLeeas

AkiinthemovieKickin’ItOldSkool

PERUSE

What’stheTrouble?Peruseismisunderstoodinmorethanoneway.

Perusemeans“read,”andithasforcenturies,butin1906aninfluentialeditornamed

FrankVizetellypronounced,withoutanyreasoning,thatperuseshouldonlymean“to

readwithcareandattention.”Hispronouncementwasincludedinmultiplebooks

underhissway,andthosebooksinfluencedlaterusageguides.

Althoughperuseisoccasionallyusedmetaphorically,itdoesn’tmean“browse”;you

don’tperuseclothesinastore,forexample.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Youmaycertainlyuseperusetomean“readcarefully,”butdonotcringewhenyousee

itusedtosimplymean“read.”Usingperusetomean“skim”isn’tadvisable,andusingit

tomean“browse”isclearlywrong.

BessieaskedifIwouldhaveabook:thewordbookactedasa

transientstimulus,andIbeggedhertofetchGulliver’sTravels

fromthelibrary.ThisbookIhadagainandagainperusedwith

delight.

—CharlotteBrontëinJaneEyre

PLETHORA

What’stheTrouble?Usageguidesdisagreeabouthowacceptableitistouse

plethoratomeansimply“many.”

Traditionally,plethorahasmeant“anunpleasantoverabundanceofsomething,”but

peopleoftenuseittomeansimply“alotofabadthing”(insteadof“toomuchofabad

thing”)oreven“alotofagoodthing.”Someusagewritersstillfindthischange

outrageous,andothersconsideritalmostfullyacceptable.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Usingplethoratodescribeahappybountyisn’ttheworstmistakeyoucouldmake—

usageisclearlygoinginthatdirection—butforthetimebeing,useplethoraonlywhen

yourcupismetaphoricallyoverflowingwithsomethingunpleasant.

Thenumberofgamesisobscene…Theinitialrepercussionofthis

plethoraofgameswastocommoditizethemall,butwithsomany

games,specialplaceslikeNotreDamebecomemoreimportant.

—KenSchanzer,presidentofNBCUniversalSports,inaninterviewwith

TheNewYorkTimes

PREVENTATIVE

What’stheTrouble?Englishhastwowordsthatmeanthesamething:preventive

andpreventative.

Oftenwhenwehavetwonearlyidenticalwordsthatmeanthesamething,suchas

preventiveandpreventative,everyonepresumesthatoneofthemiswrong—usually

thelongerone.Suchlogicwouldsuggestthatpreventativeisabadword.

Youwillcertainlyfindoccasionaladmonitionsagainstpreventative,butmostsources

considerittobeStandardEnglish.It’sbeenaroundasanadjectiveandanounforover

threehundredyears.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Youmaycertainlychoosetousethesleekerpreventive,butdon’tchidepeoplewho

preferthelongerform.

Preventivewarislikecommittingsuicideoutoffearofdeath.

—OttovonBismarck,firstchancelloroftheGermanEmpire

Theprimaryfocusforpreventativecareinferretsshouldbecentered

onyearlyorbiyearlyphysicalexamination.

—BonnieM.BallardandRyanCheekinExoticAnimalMedicineforthe

VeterinaryTechnician

What’stheTrouble?Wrackisstartingtoencroachonrack,butthetwowords

aren’tinterchangeable.

Wehaveracksforstoringspicesanddryingclothes,butintheMiddleAges,therack

wasaninstrumentfortorture.The“mentaltorment”meaningofrackinrackyour

brainandnerve-rackingcomesfromtheideaofphysicaltormentofbodiesonthe

Ontheotherhand,thewordwrackisrelatedtothewordwreck,meaning“damageor

destruction.”Sincerackandwracksoundsimilarandhavesimilarmeanings,people

cangetthemconfused,butrackyourbrainandnerve-rackingaresetphrases,asis

wrackandruin.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Rememberthatthesetphrasesarerackyourbrainandnerve-racking.

QuickandDirtyTip

Whenyourackyourbrainormakeitthroughanerve-rackingexam,thinkof

yourselfasbeingtorturedontherackintheMiddleAges.

Ithinkaboutdeathallthetime,butonlyinaromantic,self-serving

way,beginning,mostoften,withmytragicillnessandendingwith

myfuneral.Iseemybrothersquattingbesidemygrave,sorackedby

guiltthathe’sunabletostand.“IfonlyI’dpaidhimbackthat

twenty-fivethousanddollarsIborrowed,”hesays.IseeHugh,

dryinghiseyesonthesleeveofhissuitjacket,thencryingeven

harderwhenheremembersIboughtitforhim.

—DavidSedarisinWhenYouAreEngulfedinFlames

What’stheTrouble?Realshouldn’tbeusedasanadverb,butitis.

Thebasicrulesaresimple:reallyisanadverb(Ireallylikecheese),andrealisan

adjective(NothingbeatsrealParmesancheese).

Inpractice,however,ininformalconversationandamongpeoplewhousefolksy

language(eithernaturallyorinacalculatingway,aspoliticianssometimesdo),realis

alsooftenusedasanintensifyingadverbthatmeans“very.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Unlessyou’regoingforacolloquialsound,asinthefollowingtwoexamples,avoid

usingrealasanadverb.

Whyshouldn’tIworkfortheN.S.A.?That’satoughone,butI’lltake

ashot.SayI’mworkingatN.S.A.Somebodyputsacodeonmydesk,

somethingnobodyelsecanbreak.

MaybeItakeashotatitandmaybeIbreakit.AndI’mrealhappy

withmyself,’causeIdidmyjobwell.Butmaybethatcodewasthe

locationofsomerebelarmyinNorthAfricaortheMiddleEast.

Oncetheyhavethatlocation,theybombthevillagewheretherebels

werehidingandfifteenhundredpeopleInevermet,neverhadno

problemwith,getkilled.

—MattDamonasWillinthemovieGoodWillHunting

That’soneofthoseissuesthatifyoudon’tsayexactlytheright

word,exactlythewaysomebodyexpectsit,yousteponalandmine.

That’swhywewroteitdown.Sowecouldberealclear.

—HermanCain,Americanpolitician

What’stheTrouble?Theverbshinehastwopasttenseforms:shinedandshone.

Shinedandshonearetwocompeting,acceptablepasttenseformsoftheverbshine.

Some(butnotall)sourcesrecommendusingshinedwhentheverbhasanobject(when

youareshiningsomething)andshonewhenitdoesnot(whensomethingisshiningon

itsown).

Meaningmattersthoughtoo:shinedistheonlyacceptablepasttensewhenyoumean

“polished,”asinHeshinedhisshoes.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Stickwiththetraditionalruleofusingshinedwithanobjectandshonewithoutunless

youhaveagoodreasontodeviate.

QuickandDirtyTip

Therhymeit’sshonewhenalonewillhelpyouremembertouseshonewhen

theverbisalone(i.e.,hasnoobject).

Mr.Robinsonwasapolishedsortofperson.Hewassocleanand

healthyandpleasedabouteverythingthathepositivelyshone

—whichisonlytobeexpectedinafairyoranangel,butis

somewhatdisconcertinginanattorney.

—SusannaClarke,JonathanStrange&Mr.Norrell

Ifyouwantthelawtoleaveyoualone,keepyourhairtrimmedand

yourbootsshined.

—LouisL’AmourinTheManCalledNoon

What’stheTrouble?Sincecanbeusedtomean“because,”butsometimesdoing

socreatesambiguity.

Sincecancarryanelementoftime,butsinceandbecausehavealsobeensynonyms

throughouttheages.Sincewestillhadmoneyinourpockets,wedecidedtotry

blackjackmeansthesamethingasBecausewestillhadmoneyinourpockets,we

decidedtotryblackjack.

Sometimes,however,asentencewithsincecanbeinterpretedtwoways,andthatis

whenyoushouldavoidusingsincetomeanbecause.Considerthisambiguoussentence

fromHunterS.Thompson:LifehasbecomeimmeasurablybettersinceIhavebeen

forcedtostoptakingitseriously.Heprobablymeans“lifeisbettersincethetimehe

wasforcedtostoptakingitseriously,”buthecouldalsomean“lifeisbetterbecausehe

wasforcedtostoptakingitseriously.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tbeafraidtousesinceasasynonymforbecause.Justbesureyouaren’tcreating

ambiguoussentences.

Laughterandtearsarebothresponsestofrustrationand

exhaustion….Imyselfprefertolaugh,sincethereislesscleaningdo

todoafterward.

—KurtVonnegutinPalmSunday

Fearisn’tsodifficulttounderstand.Afterall,weren’tweall

frightenedaschildren?NothinghaschangedsinceLittleRedRiding

Hoodfacedthebigbadwolf.Whatfrightensustodayisexactlythe

samesortofthingthatfrightenedusyesterday.It’sjustadifferent

—AlfredHitchcockquotedinIt’sOnlyaMoviebyCharlotteChandler

What’stheTrouble?Misguidedsticklersofteninsistthatslowcanneverbean

adverb.

Englishhasaclassofwordscalledflatadverbs:theadjectivecanbeusedasanadverb

(suchasslow,quick,andloud)evenwhenaseparateadverbthatendsin-lyexists

(suchasslowly,quickly,andloudly).Althoughyoucanusethe-lyadverbformifyou

prefer(driveslowly),itisalsoacceptabletousetheflatadverb(driveslow).

Despitevocalsticklerswhorailagainstdriveslow(includingWeirdAlYankovic,who

madeafunnyvideoaboutit),everymajorstyleguideanddictionarysayitandother

instancesofflatadverbsarefine.EvenWilliamStrunk,ofElementsofStylefame,was

knowntosay,“Ifyoudon’tknowhowtopronounceaword,sayitloud!”Additional

examplesofflatadverbsappearregularlyinpoemsandliterature.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Youmaywanttoavoidflatadverbsinsituationsinwhichitcouldbeaproblemifyou’re

perceivedtohavemadeamistake(suchasinarésumécoverletter),butingeneral

writing,ifaflatadverbfitsbetterinyoursentence,don’tbeafraidtouseit.

Talklow,talkslow,anddon’tsaytoomuch.

—JohnWaynequotedinTheElephanttoHollywoodbyMichaelCaine

SMOKEY

What’stheTrouble?Thewordhastwospellings.

BetweenSmokeyRobinson,SmokeytheBear,andthemovieSmokeyandtheBandit,

youcanbeforgivenforthinkingthecorrectspellingforthesmellofburnedwoodis

smokey,butyou’restillwrong.Thecorrectspellingissmoky.Whenit’sanickname

foranofficerofthelaw,it’sspelledsmokey,butotherwise,dropthee.

WhatShouldYouDo?

UsethisQuickandDirtyTiptorememberthatapoliceman’sorranger’snicknameis

Smokey,withane:Thinkofofficersaskeepingtheireyesonyou—eyes,withallthose

e’s.

TINA:[concernedaboutasniperoutside]Butwhathappensifhehits

thegastank?

MATTHELM:SmokeytheBearwon’tlikeit.Getin.

—DaliahLaviasTinaandDeanMartinasMattHelminthemovieThe

Silencers

[cookingamushroomoverthechimney]Thekeyistokeepturning

ittogetthesmokyflavorniceandeven.

—PattonOswaltvoicingRemyinthemovieRatatouille

What’stheTrouble?Sometimesdirectionaltermssuchassoutharecapitalized

andsometimestheyaren’t.

Whenyou’redescribingadirection,southislowercase:Themapisbehindasecret

dooronthesouthwall.

Whenyou’renamingaregion,however,Southiscapitalized.Atlanta,NewOrleans,and

MobileareallintheSouth,notthesouth.Thesameholdstrueforotherdirectional

termsthatarealsothenamesofregions:Midwest,Northeast,Northwest,MiddleEast,

andsoon.Often,ifyoucanputtheinfrontofthename,it’scapitalized:He’sfromthe

South.

Whendirectionaltermsareusedtodescribepeople,styleguidesofferdifferingadvice.

Forexample,TheChicagoManualofStylepreferssoutherner,whereastheAssociated

PressprefersSoutherner.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifadirectionaltermisthenameofaregion,capitalizeit.Ifit’sjustacompasspoint,

lowercaseit.

ThisisBerk.It’stwelvedaysnorthofHopelessandafewdegrees

southofFreezingtoDeath.It’slocatedsolidlyontheMeridianof

Misery.

—JayBaruchelvoicingHiccupinthemovieHowtoTrainYourDragon

Here’sasoldieroftheSouthwholovesyou,Scarlett.Wantstofeel

yourarmsaroundhim,wantstocarrythememoryofyourkisses

intobattlewithhim.Nevermindaboutlovingme,you’reawoman

sendingasoldiertohisdeathwithabeautifulmemory.Scarlett!

Kissme!Kissme…once….

—ClarkGableasRhettButlerinthemovieGonewiththeWind

What’stheTrouble?Peoplewonderwhethercollectivenounssuchasteamare

singularorplural.

Teams,committees,boards,andbandsaremadeupoflotsofpeople,butthewordsare

collectivenounsandintheUnitedStates,wegenerallytreatthemassingular.(In

Britain,writersaremorelikelytotreatthemasplural.)

Namesofteams(andbands)aredifferenthowever.Therulesarelessclear,andmost

writerstreatthenamesdifferentlydependingonwhethertheysoundsingularorplural.

Forexample,we’dwritethattheBeatlesareoneofthebestsellingbandsofalltime,but

thatRadioheadisontour.

WhatShouldYouDo?

IntheUnitedStates,treatcollectivenounssuchasteamassingularandteamnamesas

singularunlessthenameitselfsoundsplural.

YourteamisdealingwiththeGreatMayonnaisePanicof2007.I’m

worrieditmightspreadtoothercontinents.

—LisaEdelsteinasDr.LisaCuddyintheTVseriesHouseM.D.

JAMESSTAMPHILL:HowdoyouthinktheYankeeswilldoagainstthe

Redskinsthisyear?

HENRIYOUNG:TheYankeesareabaseballteam.TheRedskinsarea

footballteam.Personally,IthinktheRedskinswouldkickthe****

outofthem.

—ChristianSlaterasJamesStamphillandKevinBaconasHenriYoungin

themovieMurderintheFirst

THANIVERSUSTHANME

What’stheTrouble?Peopleargueaboutwhichpronountouseinsentencessuch

asNobodylovesgrammarmorethan[I/me].

Thetroublewithsentencesthatendwiththanmeisthatsometimestheycanbe

ambiguous.YoulikeQuinnmorethanmecouldmeanthat“youlikeQuinnmorethan

youlikeme,”orthat“youlikeQuinnmorethanIlikeQuinn.”

FINNHUDSON:Okay,Rachel,sincethisisyourfirsttimeatthis,I’m

gonnabreakitdownforyou.Guysandgirlsfallintocertain

archetypeswhentheygetdrunk.ExhibitA:Santana,theweepy,

hystericaldrunk.

SANTANALOPEZ:[WeepingatSam]Youlikehermorethanme.She’s

blondeandawesomeandsosmart.Admit,justadmitit!No,kiss

—CoryMonteithasFinnandNayaRiveraasSantanaintheTVseriesGlee

WhatShouldYouDo?

Whenendingasentencewiththanmewouldcreateambiguity,butIalonewouldsound

toostuffy,addtheimpliedwordthatfollows:YoulikeQuinnmorethanIdo.

Alsokeepinmindthatevenwhenthereisnoambiguity,thanIhasamoreformaltone

thanthanme,andyoushouldkeepyouraudienceinmindwhenchoosingyour

pronoun.QuinnissmarterthanIsoundsmorebuttonedupthanQuinnissmarter

thanme.

BLAIRWALDORF:Whatareyoudoinghere?MakingsuretheDean

knowsit’sallmyfault?

SERENAVANDERWOODSEN:No.IcametotellhimthatYaleisyour

dreamandyoudeservetogoheremorethanIdo.Whatareyoudoing

BLAIRWALDORF:Doingthesamethingforyou.

—LeightonMeesterasBlairandBlakeLivelyasSerenaintheTVseries

GossipGirl

What’stheTrouble?Englishdoesn’thaveasingularpronountousewhenyou

don’tknowtheperson’ssex.

Englishhasabig,gapinghole:nopronounwecanusetodescribeapersonwhenwe

don’tknowtheirsex(see!)—I’vetrieditwithbabies,andithasn’tgonewell.Indays

goneby,hewasacceptableasagenericpronoun,buttodayit’snot.Nearlyallmajor

styleguidesrecommendagainstit.

Tofillthegap,manypeopleconsciouslyorsubconsciouslyusethey,asinTellthenext

callertheywinacar.Doingsoactuallyhasalongerhistorythanmostpeoplerealize

andisallowedbysomecurrentstyleguides.Althoughmanypeopleconsideritwrong,I

suspectmanyofthosesamepeoplesayitincasualconversationwithoutevenrealizing

itandthatthesingulartheywillbecomefullyacceptablewithinthenextfiftyyears.

Sentencesthatstartwithsingularpronounsthatsoundplural(suchaseveryone)cause

particulartemptationtousetheyortheirassingularpronounslaterinthesentence.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifbeingperceivedasmakingamistakecouldbeaproblem(e.g.,inrésumécover

letters),rewriteyoursentencestoavoidusingtheyasasingularpronoun.Makingthe

subjectpluralisoftenaneasysolution.

Everybodyaroundherwasgayandbusy;eachhadtheirobjectof

interest,theirpart,theirdress,theirfavouritescene,theirfriendsand

confederates:allwerefindingemploymentinconsultationsand

comparisons,ordiversionintheplayfulconceitstheysuggested.

[Eachisalwayssingular,yetAustenusedtheir.]

—JaneAusteninMansfieldPark

EverybodyisalwayssupposingthatI’mnotagoodwalker;andyet

theywouldnothavebeenpleasedifwehadrefusedtojointhem.

[Everybodyisalwayssingular,yetAustenusedthey.]

—JaneAusteninPersuasion

TOWARD

What’stheTrouble?Sometimesyou’llseetoward,andsometimesyou’llsee

towards.

TowardisthetypicalspellingintheUnitedStatesinallcases,buttheBritishwilloften

usetowardasanadjectiveandtowardsasanadverb.Thissometimescausesconfusion

forAmericanreadersofBritishpublications.

Theruleholdsforall-wardsuffixes.ThepreferredAmericanformsareafterward,

outward,forward,backward,andsoon.

WhatShouldYouDo?

UsethisQuickandDirtyTip:RememberthattheAmericanspellingistowardby

thinkingthatAmericanslikeshortcuts,sowe’veloppedoffthes.

MayIhaveeveryone’sattention,please?We’reevacuatinginto

outerspace,withliterallyinfinitedirectionsinwhichtoflee.

However,wehavedecidedthatourtransportswilltraveldirectly

towardthefleetofStarDestroyers.Anyquestions?

—AlexBorsteinvoicingLoisGriffinasPrincessLeiaintheTVseries

FamilyGuy

TRYAND

What’stheTrouble?Tryandisconsideredlessacceptablethantryto.

Althoughtryandhasbeenusedinspeechandinformalwritingforcenturies,ithasalso

oftenbeencondemned.Usageguidesofoldrecommendedagainstit,andradiocallers

todaystillregularlyciteitasapetpeeve.Nevertheless,modernexpertscalltryand

informal,notwrong.

Itappearsthatinthemid-1800stryandandtrytowereusedaboutequally,butsince

thentrytohasbecomethedominantforminprint.Tryandmaybeslightlymore

commoninprintinBritainthaninAmerica,buttrytoisthemorecommonformin

bothregions.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Avoidtryandinformalwritingbutdon’tgoballisticifsomebodysaysitin

conversationorwritesitinane-mail.

IrecognizeterrorasthefinestemotionandsoIwilltrytoterrorize

thereader.ButifIfindthatIcannotterrify,Iwilltrytohorrify,and

ifIfindthatIcannothorrify,I’llgoforthegross-out.I’mnotproud.

—StephenKinginStephenKing’sDanseMacabre

Ifyoutryandtakeacataparttoseehowitworks,thefirstthingyou

haveonyourhandsisanon-workingcat.

—DouglasAdamsquotedinADevil’sChaplain:ReflectionsonHope,Lies,

Science,andLovebyRichardDawkins

What’stheTrouble?Somepeopleinsistthatapairoftwinsisfourpeople.

Someoverlyliteralpeoplearguethatsincetwinsalreadymeans“twopeople,”apairof

twinsisfourpeople.However,apairoftwinsisthecommonidiomtoreferto“two

peoplewhohappentobetwins.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Apairoftwinsis“twopeople”;don’tbeafraidtousethephrase.However,noticeyour

contextandbesureitwon’tcauseconfusion.Askyourselfiftwinsaloneortwoinplace

oftwinswouldbejustasgood.

InthebackseatMooseandSquirrelinhabitedapairofsix-year-old-

twins,andwouldn’tstopbickeringandpickingtheirnoses.They

wereclearlyintheirelement.

—NealShustermaninEverwild

UNIQUE

What’stheTrouble?Uniqueisanabsoluteterm,butit’scommontohearpeople

modifyit,sayingsuchthingsasveryunique.

Grammarianscalladjectivessuchasunique,dead,andimpossible“ungradable.”It

meanstheycan’tbemoreofwhattheyalreadyare.Ifsomethingisalreadyimpossible,

itcan’tgetmoreimpossible.Uniquemeans“oneofakind”or“havingnoequal,”and

thingscan’tbecomemoreunique.Thus,althoughyouoftenseedescriptionsthat

includeveryuniqueonCraigslist,realestatesites,andinpersonalads,thephrasingis

wrong.

Gradabletermscanbemodifieddown,however.Forexample,almostuniqueisfine,

justasitwouldbefinetodescribesomethingasalmostimpossibleoralmostdead.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Reserveuniqueforthingsthataretrulyoneofakind.

HENRYVANSTATTEN:Tellthemtostopshootingatit!

DIANAGODDARD:Butit’skillingthem.

HENRYVANSTATTEN:They’redispensable.ThatDalek’sunique.Idon’t

wantascratchonitsbodywork.Doyouhearme?Doyouhearme?

—CoreyJohnsonasHenryVanStattenandAnna-LouisePlowmanas

DianaGoddardintheTVseriesDoctorWho

What’stheTrouble?Whenusedtodescribeadeadline,untilcanbeambiguous.

IfyouhaveuntilMarch4tosubmitanentryintheNationalGrammarDayvideo

contest,doesthatmeanyoucanstillturnitinonMarch4,orisMarch3thelast

acceptableday?Unfortunately,theworduntildoesn’tmakethemeaningclear.

Oneofthemoststress-inducingdeadlinesistheannualtaxfilingdeadlineforthe

InternalRevenueService,whichmakesapointtospelloutthattheApril15filing

deadlineincludesApril15.TheyalsocallApril15aduedate,notadeadline.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Ifyou’refollowinginstructions,don’tassumeuntilmeansthrough.Turninyouritema

dayearlyorgetclarification.Ifyou’rewritinginstructions,makethemclearbyusinga

wordsuchasthroughorstatingaspecificdayandtime.TheIRSdoesn’trelyonan

ambiguouswordsuchasuntil,andneithershouldyou.

Theendoftheworldstartedwhenapegasuslandedonthehoodof

mycar.UpuntilthenIwashavingagreatafternoon.[Untilendswith

thelanding.]

—RickRiordaninTheLastOlympian

“ButIhavetoconfess,I’mgladyoutwohadatleastafewmonthsof

happinesstogether.”

“I’mnotglad,”saysPeeta.“Iwishwehadwaiteduntilthewhole

thingwasdoneofficially.”[Untilseemstogothroughthetimeitisdone.]

—SuzanneCollinsinCatchingFire

UTILIZE

What’stheTrouble?Writerssometimeschooseutilizewhenusewouldsuffice.

Often,youcanreplaceutilizewithuseandyoursentencewillmeanthesamethingand

soundlessstuffy.

Utilizedoeshaveitsuses,though.Itconveysmoreofasenseofusingsomething

specificallyforapurposeorforprofitthanusedoes.Youmayuseacamera,butitmay

bemoredescriptivetosaythatpropagandistsutilizecamerastoinfluenceopinions,

sincethatistheirpurposeandit’smorespecializedthanjustsnappingphotos.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tuseutilizejustbecauseitsoundslikeafancyword.Whenindoubt,chooseuse.

Ontheotherhand,don’tbeafraidtouseutilizewhenyou’reconfidentthatit’stheright

Becausewehumansarebigandcleverenoughtoproduceandutilize

antibioticsanddisinfectants,itiseasytoconvinceourselvesthatwe

havebanishedbacteriatothefringesofexistence.Don’tyoubelieve

it.Bacteriamaynotbuildcitiesorhaveinterestingsociallives,but

theywillbeherewhentheSunexplodes.Thisistheirplanet,and

weareonitonlybecausetheyallowustobe.

—BillBrysoninAShortHistoryofNearlyEverything

VERBAL

What’stheTrouble?Verbalcanmean“written”aswellas“spoken.”

Youmaybesurprisedtolearnthatverbalcanmean“written”aswellas“spoken,”and

evenmoresurprisedthatsomepeoplebelieveyoushouldneveruseverbaltomean

“spoken”andshouldinsteaduseoralinsuchcircumstances.

Althoughusingverbaltomean“written”islegitimate,historyandcommonusageare

notonthesideofpeoplewhowouldliketosayverbalcan’talsomean“spoken.”Infact,

itisrelativelyeasytofindquotationsinwhichverbalisusedtomean“spoken”indirect

contrastwithwritten.Also,the“spoken”meaningissocommonthatit’slikelysome

readerswillbeconfusedifyouuseverbaltomean“written.”

WhatShouldYouDo?

Useverbaltomean“written”ifyouwish,butbesureyourcontextmakesthemeaning

clear.Donothesitatetouseverbaltomean“spoken.”

TherealhistoryofAfricaisstillinthecustodyofblackstorytellers

andwisemen,blackhistorians,medicinemen:itisaverbalhistory,

stillkeptsafefromthewhitemanandhispredations.Everywhere,

ifyoukeepyourmindopen,youwillfindthewordsnotwritten

—NobelLaureateDorisLessinginTheGoldenNotebook

WEBSITE

What’stheTrouble?PeoplecommonlywritebothwebsiteandWebsite.

Opencompoundsoftenbecomeclosedcompoundsovertime,soalthoughWebsitewas

morecommonwhentheInternetwasnewandwewerejuststartingtodescribethe

sitesthatappearontheWeb,theclosedcompound,website,isnowthemost

commonlyrecommendedspelling.

YoumaybewonderingwhyWebsiteiscapitalizedbutwebsiteisnot.Itisn’trelatedto

thenewnessorimportanceoftheWeb,it’sbecauseoftheregularEnglishcapitalization

rules:wecapitalizedwordsthatarethenameofsomethingspecific,andmostsources

agreethattheWeb,whichisshortfortheWorldWideWeb,isanentitymadeupofall

thefilesthatareaccessibleontheInternetbyusingtheHTTPprotocol.Thereisonly

one,anditsnameistheWeb—apropernoun.Ontheotherhandtherearemillions

(gazillions?)ofsitesontheWeb,sowebsiteismerelydescriptive—acommonnoun.

ThecapitalizationofWebisasubjectofdebate,however.TheChicagoManualofStyle

usedtorecommendWeb,butrecentlyswitchedtowebinthenew16thedition,stating

thattheynowconsiderwebagenericterm.Sofar,theyareanoutlier,butthatcould

changeinthefuture.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Mostmajorstyleguidesrecommendwebsite,sowriteitthatwayunlessyouworkfor

aneditorwhorequiresotherwise.

Thewebsitedidn’tsayhowmuchbrains—orevenhowmany—I

shouldeat,onlythatIshouldeatthemin48hoursORELSE.Why

doesn’tanyonepayattentiontodetailsanymore?Woulditbeso

hardtoaddasimplelinelike,BTW,Maddy,3poundsofbrainsper

weekisplenty?

Seriously,amIthefirstnewzombieevertoask?

—RustyFischerinZombiesDon’tCry

Whilelookingatawebsiteforliposuction,Ilearnedthatitwasasix-

to-eight-weekrecoveryperiod,theclincherbeingthat,duringthat

time,Iwouldundernocircumstancesbeabletousestreetdrugs.

ObviouslyIhadtothinkofamorerealisticapproach.

—ChelseaHandlerinAreYouThere,Vodka?It’sMe,Chelsea

What’stheTrouble?Peopleconfusewhetandwet.

Whetmeans“tosharpenorincite.”Youwhetablade,butyoualsowhetyourappetite.

However,peoplesometimeswritewetyourappetiteinstead.Peoplemaythinkof

salivatingwhentheythinkofanincreasingappetiteorconfusethephrasewithwet

yourwhistle,whichmeans“totakeadrink”(andwhich,toaddtotheconfusion,the

OxfordEnglishDictionarysaysisalsosometimeswrittenaswhetyourwhistle).

WhatShouldYouDo?

Rememberthatthecorrectphrasesarewhetyourappetiteandwetyourwhistle.

QuickandDirtyTip

Thinkofawhettedknifecuttingscrumptiousmeatwhenyouthinkofwhetting

yourappetite.Unlessyou’reavegetarian.Thenimaginetheknifecutting

scrumptioussquash.

Nodoubtthemurderousknifewasdullbeforeitwaswhettedon

yourstone-hardheart.

—AnnetteBeningasQueenElizabethinthemovieRichardIII

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplebelievewhileshouldnotmean“although.”

Somemeaningsofwhilehaveasenseoftime,suchas“during,”“atthesametimeas,”

or“alengthoftime.”Whilehasanothermeaning,however,whichhassometimes

raisedhackles:whilecanbeusedasasynonymforalthoughorwhereas.

Althoughwhileisperfectlyacceptabletouseinthisway,occasionallydoingsocan

causeambiguity.Forexample,ifyouweretosay,WhileSquigglyisyellow,Aardvark

isblue,peoplewouldn’tknowwhetheryouwerecontrastingthetwocharacters’colors

orsayingthatAardvarkisonlybluewhenSquigglyisyellow.Incaseslikethat,you

havetousealthoughorwhereas.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Youcanchoosetolimitthemeaningofwhiletosensesoftimeinyourownwritingif

youlike,butdon’tcorrectotherswhochoosetousethewidermeaning.

Anymanwhocandrivesafelywhilekissingaprettygirlissimplynot

givingthekisstheattentionitdeserves.

—AlbertEinstein

Justsoyouknow,whiletherearefewthingsIconsidersacred,the

backofthelimoisoneofthem.

—EdWestwickasChuckBassintheTVseriesGossipGirl

What’stheTrouble?Writershavelongbeenpredictingthedemiseofwhom.Few

peopleknowhowtouseitproperlyineveryinstance,andyetitpersists.

Manylanguageloverscringeatthesuggestionthatweshouldjustgetridofwhom,but

thesuggestionsandthepredictionsthatitwillhappenhavebeenaroundsinceatleast

thelate1800s,andwhoisoftenusedinplaceofwhom,evenbythewelleducatedand

wellheeled,especiallyinspeech.

Ina2008VisualThesaurussetofarticles,evenJohnMcIntyre,whowasthenthe

assistantmanagingeditorofthecopydeskatTheBaltimoreSunandtheformer

presidentoftheAmericanCopyEditorsSocietyandhadbeenchosentochampionthe

causeofwhom,couldonlymusteratepiddefense:“Fornow,whom,thoughitmay

haveseenitsbestdays,isgoing,going,butnotquitegone.”

Sincewhom’sdemisehasbeenpredictedforatleast150yearsandyetitstillcontinues

toclingtolife(albeitprecariously),it’sstillworthknowingtherulesandattemptingto

followthem.It’snotlikelythatstyleguideswilljustgiveuponwhominthenear

future,andagoodnumberofpeoplewillstillwriteangrye-mailsormarkyourpapers

withredinkifyougetitwrong.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Inwritingandunlessdoingsosoundspainfullystilted,followthestandardrule:Use

whoforthesubjectofasentenceandwhomfortheobjectofasentenceortheobjectof

apreposition(e.g.,whenitfollowswordssuchasfor,of,andwith).

QuickandDirtyTip

Insimplecases,ifyoucanhypotheticallyanswerthequestionwithhim,the

correctchoiceiswhom:[Who/Whom]shouldweinvitetotheparty?We

shouldinvitehim.Thus,thecorrectchoiceiswhom.[Who/Whom]isbringing

thecake?Heisbringingthecake.Thus,thecorrectchoiceiswho.

NANCY:[afterseeingthatthehouseisnowfullysecured]Mother!

What’swiththebars?

MARGE:Security.

NANCY:Security?Securityfromwhat?

MARGE:Notfromwhat,fromwhom.

—HeatherLangenkampasNancyandRoneeBlakleyasMargeinthe

movieANightmareonElmStreet

What’stheTrouble?Becausethenounwoolhastherelatedadjectivewoolen,

somepeoplebelieveitisincorrecttodescribesomethingasawoolsweaterorwool

jacket.

NounsregularlyserveasadjectivesinEnglish.Whentheydo,wecallthemattributive

nouns.Forexample,Californiastyleincludesmanythings:treefarms,cottonclothing,

andavocadosandwiches.Alltheunderlinedwordsareattributivenouns.

Notallnounshaverelatedadjectives.Cottonandfleece,forexample,areyouronly

choicefordescribingacottonshirtorfleecejacket.Sincewoolandsilkhavethe

adjectiveformswoolenandsilken,yougettochoosebetweentheattributivenounand

adjective.Youcanwearasilkenscarfwithyourwoolensweater,oryoucanwearasilk

scarfwithyourwoolsweater,forexample.Untilthe1970swoolandwoolenappeared

aboutequally,butwoolisnowusedfarmoreoftenthanwoolen.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Feelfreetousenounssuchaswoolandsilkasadjectives.

Fedsaren’tlikethat.Fedsareseriouspeople.Poli-scimajors.

Studentcouncilpresidents.Debateclubchairpersons.Thekindsof

peoplewhohavethegrittowearadarkwoolsuitandatightly

buttonedcollarevenwhenthetemperaturehasgreenhousedupto

ahundredandtendegreesandthehumidityisthickenoughtostall

ajumbojet.Thekindsofpeoplewhofeelmostathomeonthedark

sideofaone-waymirror.

—NealStephensoninSnowCrash

What’stheTrouble?Somepeoplethinkwrongcan’tbeusedasanadverb.

Wronglyonlyactsasanadverb,andthewordcomesupalotinnewsstories:people

arewronglyarrested,wronglyjailed,wronglyconvicted,andwronglyreleased.

Althoughsomepeoplebelievethatsincewealreadyhavetheadverbwrongly,itmust

betheonlychoice.Wrong!Wrong,canalsobeanadverb—andanoun,verb,and

adjectivetoo.(Whoknewthereweresomanywaystogowrong?)

Mostoften,wrongsoundsrightwhenitcomesafteraverb,asingonewrong,heard

wrong,andyou’redoingitwrong;andwronglysoundsrightwhenitcomesbeforethe

verb,asinwronglyaccused.

WhatShouldYouDo?

Don’tbeafraidtousewrongasanadverb.Trustyourear.

DeweyBozella—whowaswronglyjailedfor26years—wonhisfirst

professionalboxingmatchsincebeingletoutofprisonfora

murderhedidn’tcommit.

—EmilyHewettinMetro

SometimesIlieawakeatnight,andIask,“WherehaveIgone

wrong.”

Thenavoicesaystome,“Thisisgoingtotakemorethanonenight.”

—CharlieBrownintheCharlesM.SchulzcomicstripPeanuts

YOUANDI

What’stheTrouble?BetweenyouandIissowidespreadinpopularculturethat

peoplearebecomingconfused.

Pronounsthatfollowprepositions(suchasbetween,of,andabout)inprepositional

phrasesarealwaysintheobjectivecase.Thatmeansthatthecorrectphraseisalways

betweenyouandme,butpeopleseemtohaveahardtimerememberingthatrule.

Unfortunately,popularsongshavegottenitwrongandincreasedtheconfusion.For

example,JessicaSimpsonreleasedasongwiththetitle“BetweenYouandI”(which

shouldhavebeen“YouandMe”becauseitfollowstheprepositionbetween).The2010

Olympicthemesongincluded“IbelieveinthepowerofyouandI”(whichshouldhave

beenyouandmebecauseitfollowstheprepositionof),andBryanAdamswrote“That

wouldchangeifsheeverfoundoutaboutyouandI”(whichshouldhavebeenyouand

mebecauseitfollowstheprepositionabout).

Actually,thepronounconfusionisn’tevenlimitedtoprepositionalphrases;they’rejust

commonoffenders.Forexample,LadyGagawrote“Youandmecouldwriteabad

romance”(whichshouldhavebeen“YouandIcouldwriteabadromance”becausethe

pronounsareinthesubjectposition).

WhatShouldYouDo?

Remembertouseobjectprepositions(e.g.,me,him)afterprepositionsandthatthe

correctphraseisbetweenyouandme.

PENNY:Thisisbetweenyouandme.Youcan’ttellLeonardanyofthis.

SHELDONCOOPER:You’reaskingmetokeepasecret?

PENNY:Yeah.

SHELDONCOOPER:Well,Iamsorry,butyouwouldhavehadtohave

expressedthatdesirebeforerevealingthesecret,sothatIcould

choosewhetherIwantedtoacceptthecovenantofsecret-keeping.

Youcan’timposeasecretonanex-post-factobasis.

—KaleyCuocoasPennyandJimParsonsasSheldonintheTVseriesThe

BigBangTheory

Acknowledgments

ThankyoutoMarioSanchezfromNewMexico,whofoundthe“nextWednesday”

quotation;JoeKisenwetherfromReno,Nevada,whoexplainedoddstome;myeditor,

BeataSantora;myagent,LaurieAbkemeier;myFacebookandTwitterfriends;andthe

GrammarGirlpodcastlisteners.

Iusedthefollowingsourcesextensively:Garner’sModernAmericanUsage,Merriam-

Webster’sDictionaryofEnglishUsage,TheColumbiaGuidetoStandardAmerican

English,TheAmericanHeritageGuidetoContemporaryUsageandStyle,The

ChicagoManualofStyle,APStylebook,theonlineOxfordEnglishDictionary,M-

W.com,andDictionary.com.IalsooccasionallyconsultedFowler’sModernEnglish

Usage,TheYahoo!StyleGuide,andvariousothersources.Iprimarilyfound

quotationsthroughGoodReads.com,IMDb.com,GoogleNews,andGoogleBooks,

althoughIoccasionallysearchedothersources.

AbouttheAuthor

MignonFogartyisthecreatorofQuickandDirtyTips.Formerlyamagazinewriter,

technicalwriter,andentrepreneur,shehasaB.A.inEnglishfromtheUniversityof

WashingtoninSeattleandanM.S.inbiologyfromStanfordUniversity.Shelivesin

Reno,Nevada.Visitherwebsiteatquickanddirtytips.comandsignupforthefreee-

mailgrammartipsandfreepodcast.

AlsobyMignonFogarty

GrammarGirl’sQuickandDirtyTipsforBetterWriting

TheGrammarDevotional

GrammarGirlPresentstheUltimateWritingGuideforStudents

GrammarGirl’s101MisusedWordsYou’llNeverConfuseAgain

GrammarGirl’s101WordsEveryHighSchoolGraduateNeedstoKnow

GrammarGirl’s101WordstoSoundSmart

Fogarty,Inc.Allrightsreserved.Forinformation,addressSt.Martin’sPress,175Fifth

Avenue,NewYork,N.Y.10010.

GrammarGirlandQuickandDirtyTipsaretrademarksofMignonFogarty,Inc.

www.stmartins.com

IllustrationsbyArnieTen

LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData

Fogarty,Mignon.

GrammarGirl’s101troublesomewordsyou’llmasterinnotime/MignonFogarty.

—1sted.

ISBN:978-1-4668-2518-5

1.Englishlanguage—Usage.2.Englishlanguage—Termsandphrases.3.English

language—Errorsofusage.I.Title.II.Title:101troublesomewordsyou’llmasterinno

time.III.Title:Onehundredandonetroublesomewordsyou’llmasterinnotime.

PE1460.F5772012

428.2—dc23

2012004622

Grammar Girl's™ 101 Troublesome Words You'll Master in No ...

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