Entitled Kids & Permissive Parenting: Assessment and Strategies for Supporting the Post-Boomer Family Brooke Judkins Ph D, LPC.

Entitled Kids & Permissive Parenting: Assessment and

Strategies for Supporting the Post-Boomer Family

Brooke Judkins Ph D, LPC

Post-Boomer Family

Post-Boomer Family

What is the “Post-Boomer Family”?“Post-Boomer” concepts attributed to Ron Taffel, Ph.D (wrote “The Second

Family” ,2001 and “Breaking Through to Teens”, 2005)

Created from economic, social, and technological shifts over last 30+ years:

• more parents working & parents working more• marketing, consumerism• rise of “Parenting” and permissiveness

• kids have more “things” but less time with parents

• peer groups become a “second family”• technology provides more ways to contact

others

Post-Boomer Family

Problems with Permissiveness

• Parent as “friend”- lessens authority

• Creates pattern of rescuing

• Child’s low persistence to challenging tasks

• Poor emotion regulation in child

• Enmeshment often goes with permissiveness

• Leads to child’s entitlement (rebellious & defiant when desires are challenged)

• Child isn’t given opportunities to develop inner core & sense of competency (low self esteem)

Post-Boomer Parenting

Assessing Permissiveness• PSDQ (Baumrind)• Two most important dimensions of parenting: Nurturance &

Demandingness (Warmth & Firmness)

Authoritarian Authortative

Permissive

__x_______________x_________________x__Less effective Most effective

Less effective

React Respond React

Post-Boomer Parenting

Assessing Permissiveness

• Genograms

Tool to identify underlying family PATTERNS that lead to permissiveness such as:

Addictions

Mental & Physical health conditions

Conflictual, enmeshed relationships

Trauma, abusive relationships

Genogram Sample

Strategies

Love & Logic Approach

• Emphasizes parents taking care of themselves

• Respond with empathy instead of anger

• Creates space for children to do their own problem-solving

• Oriented toward connection, not control

Strategies

Love & Logic Approach

*Neutralize Arguments*-One Liners (“Nice try”, “What a bummer”, “That’s an

option” etc)

-Enforceable Statements (“When you stop interrupting me then I’ll continue talking with you”)

-Disengage (“I’m feeling frustrated and I need time to calm down. I don’t want to argue with you. I’ll check in when I’m in a better place to talk” )

Strategies

Love & Logic Approach

*Delayed Consequences*Gives parent time to come up with non-reactive

consequence, and child time to think about what he/she has done

--“I need time to think about an appropriate consequence and talk it over with some people. I’ll let you know when I’ve decided. In the meantime, don’t worry about it”

--Service withdrawal

Case Studies

• Where do you see the permissiveness?

• What questions or tools would you use in assessing this family?

• What interventions would you use with this family to address permissiveness and other issues?

The End

Thank you for attending!

Brooke Judkins Ph.D., LPCFamily Program DirectorSUWS of the Carolinas